8/7/2019 Body's_Earth

1/8

"Body's Earth": H. E. Francis's "Ballad of the Engineer

Carl Feldmann"

Notonlydoestechnologicalmanwanttomakehisownbabies,buthewantstodoso

withoutthehormonesandflesh,withoutlustandarousal,andhismostheroic

representatives,theastronauts,embodythisdistrustofwomen,ofthebiological,andof

theirrationaldependenciesoftheflesh.

VivianSobchack,"TheVirginityofAstronauts"

Iftheseawasasymboloftheunconscious,wasspaceperhapsanimageofunfettered

time,andtheinabilitytopenetrateitatragicexiletooneofthelimbosofeternity,a

symbolicdeathinlife?

J.G.Ballard,"AQuestionofReEntry"

In"BalladoftheEngineerCarlFeldmann,"adisturbingshortstory,partproseandpartpoetry,H.

E.FrancisdissectsthelifeanddreamsofaNASAspaceengineerandinsodoingoffersatellingportraitof

infinitepresumption.Thoughnotsciencefiction,itcouldstand,like"ALettertoGod"and"Surface

Tension,"asafoundationaltaleoftheSpaceAge.

Atthestory'sinception,Feldmann,welearn,isunemployed,laidoffbythespaceagency

becauseofcutbacksintheaftermathoftheApollomissions.Unableanylongertobearthefrustationsof

hisdeadendedcareerandthesufferingofamarriagethateveninitsbetterdayshadplayedsecond

fiddletohisallconsumingwork("athreeshiftlifeleavesyounotimenotaminuteforsittingandtalking

andtouchingandmaybeevenanapineachother'sarmsorthegirlssittingonyourlapandallofuseating

icecreamtogethersomewhereandwatchingducks,swimming"

[246]),hiswifeClarahasdesertedhim.Herdeparturehasleft

himwiththeresponsibilityofcaringfortheirtwodaughters,

ElaineandGretta.AsFeldmann,povertyriddenandindespair,

makeshisdailyroundsfromhometoschoolandthe

unemploymentoffice,Francisgraduallydiscloses,instreamof

consciousnessstyleandlargelythroughtheuseofflashbacks,

histhoughts,fears,memories,andgrowinginsanity.

Intheproseportionsofthestoryweareplungedinto

hispastandpresentstrugglewiththequotidian,astruggle,

eventuallytragic,whichhisotherwordlinesshasmadehimincapableofenduring.Andininterwoven

poeticinterludes,welearnofhisrecruitmentbyWernhervonBraunandhisconversiontoNASATrue

8/7/2019 Body's_Earth

2/8

The Col lected Works of David Lavery 2

Believing.Priortojoiningthespaceagency,seemsFeldmannhadbeenamanwithoutvision,without

direction,butvonBraun"TheheartinthatgreatpresenceintheHiltontower"(duringhisinitialjob

interview)changedallthatbydemandingallegiancetohisextraterrestrialvalues.

VonBraunsaidstars.acityinthesky,manliftedupandup.

CarlFeldmann,Iwantyourhead.

Heinfuseshisvisionoftheextraterrestrialimperativeintohisrecruits.They

become,infact,extensionsofthe"GreatMan,"ahumandemiurge,andthe

missionheoffersthemismorethanscientific.

Hisgaze,

galactic,multipliedthesuns,universeonuniverse,

madeeverymanhisastronaut.Joinus,hesaid.

We'reafamilyhere.

Ineverhadafamily.

HighintheHiltontower,Carlbowedbefore

thatAugusthead.Whenheleft,hecarriedstars.(247)

Workingwithjoy("Hewantedwhenacheckcametotearitup"[254])athisownparticular

task,thedevelopmentof"newelectronicsensitivefeelersonthefingers,detectorsthatwould

revolutionizetheprocessofcollectionandtransmissionofdata,"hecomestoroutinelythinkofhis

individualmindasattheserviceofthespeciesmind.InspiredbyvonBraun,Feldmannrecognizeshis

placeinagreathumanproject:

onelifetolive,takeupthegauntlet,

eachforallfuturelife....

....................

Themindmustmake

aperfectpartthatfittheperfectpart

themindsofothersmadeornodeedscome.

BetweenEarthandmoonacitymustgrow

visible.

ThevariousNASAcitiesinwhichheandhisfamilymustliveHuntsville,Alabama;Houston,Texas;

8/7/2019 Body's_Earth

3/8

The Col lected Works of David Lavery 3

Sunnyvale,California;CapeCanaveralareprotoNewJerusalemsforhumankind,

citieswithincitiescreated

toexecutethedream,hierarchiessocommunal

nomonasterydedicatedtosaveGod'sworld,

noartisanraisingtheirfourhundredyears

Burgosstonebystonefeltsuchamedievalurge

tobuildcathedralsinthesky.247)

AndCapeCanaveral,heknows,isnothinglessthanthisproject'sthis"invisiblepyramid's"launching

pad:

Allflesh

gatheredatthebreedingpoint,Canaveral,

whereearthsalliedintothatmysteriousdark

tospawnworldsandpressbackmedievalnight.(24748)

Thoughherecognizesthehazardsofhisandhumanity'saspiration,hebelievesitabsolutely

essentialtohumandestiny:withoutthegoalofspace,wewillacquiescetomortality,willacceptdeath.

Withoutextraterrestrialambitions,therewillbenolifeofthemind:

Thewaytoitisdark,dark,perilous,

thelandscapeinfinite.Onlymindandallman'sheart

canoutreachthisworld'sdeath.Orwhy

mind?Whypassionstoexecutethemind'ssay?(247)

FeldmannthuscomestopossessatimelessunderstandingofNASA'saccomplishmentsandhis

owncontributiontothem.

CarlwatchedEarthpenetratesky.Electronics

carriedmankindthebeginningofthewayout,up.

Onscreensfleshsoaredwiththeirs,landed,explored,

nearlyexhaustingexhaustion,tilllunarliftoff

boltedintothecurrenthome.(252)

8/7/2019 Body's_Earth

4/8

8/7/2019 Body's_Earth

5/8

The Col lected Works of David Lavery 5

halfwaytothemoon,oneafter,

oneafterthatandoneafterthat,untilbeyondbeyond

you'llfindthecityallblooddreamsof,you'llfind

methere,fairforyoutohousein,andtake

meintoyouagain,

anddreamnomore,butbe,

bothone.Allriversthenwillflow,alllight

burn,allearthstakelifefromus.Wewillbecome

thesongwelongtohear.(248)

ButthiscosmicCirceexactsahighpriceforhergift.ShedemandsofFeldmannthathefirstjourneyinto

hell:"Butonethingonly,love:/Youmust,beforeyougettome,godarkestdown"(248).Francis'sstory

chroniclesthisdescent.

Feldmannfindshimselfincreasinglyincapableofdealingwithhisdomesticlife.Withhiswife

gone,hisimmersioninthe"ceaselessnarrowround"(254)ofhouseholdchoresshopping,cooking,

cleaning,caringforhisdaughters,dressingthemeachmorning,combingtheirhairmakeshim"feellike

awoman,"andyetheknowsandhisdaughtersknowthathedoesnotpossessthe"specialequipment

...asensewhichkeepsakeel"ofwomen.Hismindiselsewhere.("KnowwhereIwas?Out/sofarIknew

everythingwaspossible.Ihad/afeelinginfiniteofstars"[256].)Inherdramaticdialoguebetweenthe

sexes"Duel,"feministRobinMorganhasherspokeswomanforthefeminineinsistthat"it'snottosee

myselfineverythingIwant,buttofindeverythingathomeinme."Feldmanndemandstheformer.)

"VoidsopenedintheEarth.Hestaggered."Becausetheycarry"theworld'sface,"hisdaughters,

despitehisobviousloveforthem,cometooppresshim.

Twocreaturesplayedonthelawn.Itsurprised:

howtheycomeandgoElaine?Gretta?

whosefacessometimesroseabruptasmonsters

inalairandwouldnotlethimpass,bodies

sosuddenlytransformedtoinnocence

he'dnothavedreamedhemustcutatthosefaces

turnedMedusaheads.(257)

Ineverythinghedoesforthem,theyfindhimwantingcomparedtotheirvanishedmother.WhenElaine

becomesillandmustbetakentothehospital,sherebels:"Shestruckandkicked,criedMa,Momma?I

don'twantyou,Ihateyou,Iwantmymother"(259).

8/7/2019 Body's_Earth

6/8

The Col lected Works of David Lavery 6

EncouragedbynewsofanewpositionatNASAforwhichheisqualified,Feldmann'shopesare

temporarilyrestored,butthejobgoestosomeoneelse,andFeldmann'sworldcomesapartattheseams.

"Inalldirectionswaste,voidinfinite,forever,/Nopathleadsofffrom

it,nogreengrows,nomanmoves,/noladybeckons,nocitystands"

(261).

Everythingearthlybecomesrepellent:Athinghappenedinthe

spring:coldcameintohim:atstrangetimesatsightofanewrose

budding,acrawlingcaterpillardazzlingwithblackandorange,eveninthe

sunicetouchedhim,itranuphisleg,piercedhisheart,heshiveredwhenhe

heardlaughter(262).Heistrappedinanalienworld:"Hisheadyearns

after/unrememberedmemory.Hisfeetcanfindnoway./Darkfillswithseethingtidesthatthrobhis

bones"258).

Andonespringdayhismadness,hisunearthliness,reachesafeverpitch.Allthatisleftofhis

worldisnegation.

Hesatonthebackstepsstaringattheearth.Hehadhisgardenspoutinggreen.Whatisitinthe

springbreaks?Ithurtstheground,andblood.Youalmostcannotholdthepainofwantingto

breakoutofyou.Bloodwantstogo.Fleshkeepsitfromspace.Cellswanttoknowtime.Whatisit?

isitoutthere?...Theneighbors'catpreensonthefence,whitewithblackspots,blacksuns.It

meowsatthegirls.Thesoundhurtshishead.Grettalaughs.Elainedoesnot.Not.(263;my

emphasis)

Hisdaughters,figuresofEarth,becomethefocusofhishallucinations:"Thegirls'headsmake

twogoldensunsinthegarden,movingandshimmering.Hairsquiverlikeaspider'swebinthemoonlight.

Suchbeautywherewillitgo?Theydigandplant"(263).LikeVirginiaWoolf'sSeptimusSmith(inMrs.

Dalloway),heisovercomewithanoumenalsenseofthesecretlifeinherentinthingsalifehecannot

identifywithandmustdestroy.Somethingisthrobbingintheground,hisfeetbeatwithit,itmovesand

moves,thecoldisgoing,hishandsflex.Handsmustdo.Do....Hegripshardthepost.Itthumpswiththe

movingdark.Airthumpswithit,sky,hishands.(263)Inhisotherworldliness,CarlFeldmanntakesthis

forceasamanifestationoftheverticaltendencythatdrivesalllivingthings:Whatisitholdsyoureyesto

Earth?Tearthemloosehewantshecan'tHestares:itbreaksandbreeds:allpushesup,up,tosun

andafter,againstalldown.Somanymillionyearsinhisblooddriveupandstilllookdown?Gravityhold

down,legswanttheEarthtosuckyoudown,butnotthehead,not(26364).

HisgirlsareoftheEarth;toFeldmanntheyareEarth."Thegirls'headsfallingold.Littlesuns.But

body'sEarth.Hestaresatthem:twoearths.Tobreed"(264;myemphasis).Thishecannotbear.

8/7/2019 Body's_Earth

7/8

The Col lected Works of David Lavery 7

Theirearthiness,theirinextricableinvolvementintheworldlyandthecontingent,negatehis

values.Workisdignity.Dreamisdignity.TheEarthisdark.Hiseyesgointoit.Nodignity'sahole.The

hole'sinme,suckmedownintoitlikeEarth'sowngravity,astar's,theuniverse's.Alleatsitself.Godeats

hisownbody,eatstimeandspace,hereafter(264).

AshefeelstheEarthbeatinhim,helongstobefreeofwhathasbeencalled"thecosmicfood

chain"(Thompson,Passages101).Plaguedbythe"oldthinginthebloodthatwantsandwants"(264),he

looksintoElaine'seyesandfeelsherrejection,herneedforherrealmother.Hestranglesherandthen,

simplyandmethodically,hersisteraswell.

InthecharacterofCarlFeldmann,inhisverticalobsession,hisdistrustoftheearthly,hispuerile

failureofaccommodationtotheeveryday,hisSpaceAgedreamofaNewJerusalem,acity"beyond

beyond,"acity"allblooddreamsof,"hisspaciness,werecognizethestigmataofthemodern,New

Gnostic.Suchamentalitydoesnot,ofcourse,requirethemurderofone'schildren,butcommitmentto

theextraterrestrialimperative,theaspirationto"purgethemindofallthoughtwhichturned/...backto

Earth,"doesexactunrivaledsacrificesfromitsinfinitelypresumptuoushosts,askingnothinglessthan

abandonmentofourplaceonEarthandtheexcarnationofthehuman.

8/7/2019 Body's_Earth

8/8