Blush #4, Spring 2010

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ISSUE

4 SPR

ING

2010

blushmom

.com

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for the modern mother

blushmom.com

SPRING 2010 spring

TOP 3 prenatal cardio exercises

your mother?becoming

We talk to Chantal Kreviazuk

and other moms

the vaccination dilemma:

risks versus benefi ts

Are you

into actionfor outdoor family fun

Blush 4 Pg.01 Cover.indd 1 2/9/10 9:16:09 AM

2 | blush spring 2010

Only JOHNSON’S® Baby Shampoo has the unique NO MORE TEARS® formula, tested to the highest standard of eye mildness for over � fty years.

Other suds may look the same, but her eyes will feel the difference.

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Bath time is a great opportunity for

your toddler to develop and learn.

It’s also a good place for a little one

to discover their independence by

washing themselves and playing

on their own, under supervision.

Spending some time to make

hair-washing fun will mean

that it becomes not only less

of a chore for you, but an exciting,

con� dence-building experience for her.

Create a sudsy sculpture

Let your child explore the fun, sudsy

world of hair washing. Put a small

amount of mild shampoo in her hand,

and encourage her to run it through her

wet hair. Then, help her sculpt shampoo

horns, spikes and curls. Yikes, a monster!

Keep a small, plastic mirror nearby to

reveal her spectacular creation. Chances

are she’ll be so delighted with these

new creative possibilities; she’ll

look forward to a bath

almost anytime.

Get some help from a little friend

To demonstrate how easy it is to wash hair,

keep a doll on hand. Bring her into the tub

with your toddler, so that she has a friend

to boost her con� dence. Now, with your

mild shampoo, help her soap up dolly’s

head. Let her know that the shampoo isn’t

hurting dolly at all – look, no tears!

Complete the process by letting

her carefully lean dolly back into

the water for rinsing, just like Mommy

does with her. Soon, your toddler will

understand that washing her hair is a

simple fact of life, and nothing to be

afraid of. Don’t forget to praise her for

being a “big girl” when you’re all done.

Cleaner, happier, smarter

By encouraging bath time independence, you’ll be allowing your little one to � nd new skills.

At the same time, you’ll be helping her to think of a formerly scary activity like hair

washing as a happy opportunity for self-expression, instead. It may be a simple thing,

but it can unlock the door to a rewarding new world for your toddler, and for you.















almost anytime.






Untitled-2 1 1/28/10 11:00:37 AM

blushmom.com | 3

Only JOHNSON’S® Baby Shampoo has the unique NO MORE TEARS® formula, tested to the highest standard of eye mildness for over � fty years.

Other suds may look the same, but her eyes will feel the difference.

Learn more at BabyCenter.ca

© J

ohns

on &

Joh

nson

Inc.

201

0.

Bath time is a great opportunity for

your toddler to develop and learn.

It’s also a good place for a little one

to discover their independence by

washing themselves and playing

on their own, under supervision.

Spending some time to make

hair-washing fun will mean

that it becomes not only less

of a chore for you, but an exciting,

con� dence-building experience for her.

Create a sudsy sculpture

Let your child explore the fun, sudsy

world of hair washing. Put a small

amount of mild shampoo in her hand,

and encourage her to run it through her

wet hair. Then, help her sculpt shampoo

horns, spikes and curls. Yikes, a monster!

Keep a small, plastic mirror nearby to





almost anytime.

Get some help from a little friend

To demonstrate how easy it is to wash hair,

keep a doll on hand. Bring her into the tub

with your toddler, so that she has a friend











afraid of. Don’t forget to praise her for

being a “big girl” when you’re all done.




















almost anytime.






Untitled-2 1 1/28/10 11:00:37 AM

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blushmom.com | 5

contentsIssue 4

16Mother NatureBecoming a mom can forge a new bond—with our own mom.

20The real deal on breastfeedingIt takes the 3 Ps: patience, practice, and perseverance.

24We shall name thee … Bunny!Is there a proper way to choose a baby name?

29Finding time to connectIn person or on the Net, moms meet up for support.

{ you }

{ your little one }

32Those dreaded stretch marksTips to prevent and reduce these embarrassing lines.

34Spring dress feverLook hot in these feminine frocks.

40A gentle touchCalm your cranky baby with a soothing massage.

42Fever?Stay cool while bringing down your little one’s temperature.

44Children’s nightmaresBanish the bogeyman and summon the sandman.

46TV or not to TV?Should you pull the plug on the electronic babysitter?

50Toddler tunesFoster a love of music at an early age.

52Vaccination dilemmaThe risks versus the benefits of immunization.

34

continued on next page

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Saved: 12-16-2009 4:51 PMPrinted: 12-16-2009 4:51 PMPrint Scale: NonePrinter: NoneMedia: PrintType: MagazineVendor: None

INKS: Cyan Magenta Yellow Black

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74blushmom.com | 7

in this issue 11 editor’s letter 13 ask Karlene 56 what we’re cooing over57 taking care of you and

your little one 58 books we love 82 the last word

contents

60Beyond phosphatesBreak the cycle—with eco-friendly laundry detergents.

62

Outdoor funActivities to put some spring into your family’s steps.

66Stay fit during pregnancyGet pumped up with our cardio workout.

69Easy at-home fitness with your new babyRecover your pre-pregnancy bod.

72Fitness and fun with your little oneGames kids—and parents—can play together.

74Clash of the caregiversHow to resolve two conflicting parenting styles.

78The dinner dancePartner veggies with foods kids love.

{ your life }

7860 72


Publisher ryan BennAssociate Publisher rick Kroetsch

Editorial & dEsign

Executive Editor stuart HarriesManaging Editor gail Johnson

Senior Editor sandi gauvinEditor and Creative Services Liaison Ellen niemer

Editor and Marketing Liaison Amanda LeeEditorial Intern Kim Van HarenGraphic Designer Keri piechnik

Contributing Photographer scott Yavis

production

Operations Manager Elaine MavritsakisDigital Content Coordinator Vince Yim

Print Distribution Coordinator Victoria ChanShipping and Receiving rafael rivera, Jagdeep Biring

salEs & MarkEting

Director of Business Development Jessica Malach ext 647Advertising Account Managers Ellen Wheeler ext 619,

Karla gursche ext 621, noorani ramji ext 622, Sales Alexandra guarascio, irene Wong

Marketing Specialist Bronwyn Logan

blush is published quarterly by

contact inforMation

teldon Media group100-12751 Vulcan Way, richmond, BC V6V 3C8

Phone: 604-295-9333 Toll Free: [email protected]

Editorial notEThe information provided in this magazine is for educational and

informational purposes only. it should not be used as a substitute for the advice of a qualified and licensed practitioner or health care provider. The opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of Teldon Media or its

affiliates. Different views may appear in future articles or publications. Articles in blush are copyrighted and must not be reprinted, duplicated,

or transmitted without permission.

blushmom.com | 9

ContributorsHeatHer LocHner is a mother and freelance writer. She lives aboard her sailboat in Vancouver with her two children, husband, and dog. When not at work or school, the Lochners are out cruising the BC coast. Heather loves to cook but is notorious for ruining every batch of chocolate chip cookies.

KimberLey Foster, MD, is a family physician and writer. She has practised medicine for over 10 years in Ontario, Alberta, and British Columbia. In addition to freelance health writing, she also writes fiction and is represented by a New York literary agent. She lives in Victoria with her husband and son.

Lisa nayLor is a counsellor at a community health clinic in Winnipeg. Her passion is supporting women and girls to develop healthy strategies to cope with life’s challenges. As a writer she finds joy and personal fulfillment in the power of words to inspire reflection, growth, and change.

JenniFer Danter is a freelance writer and food stylist in Victoria. Her childhood dinner battles are long gone but not forgotten. Wars were waged over peas and liver, and no food on the dinner plate could touch. She’s not so fickle now and considers the sweet summer pea a thing of delicate, delicious beauty.

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PUBLICATIONS: Today’s Parent, Blush, Glow – Being Mom – REV 1

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blushmom.com | 11

GaiL JoHnsonMANAGING eDITOR

I’m not keen on door-to-door sales calls, but every now and then someone representing a worthwhile cause comes by. When representatives from Greenpeace last knocked, they were greeted by Daddy as well as two little bobbing blond heads peering at them from the top of the stairs.

My oldest son, then three, asked Daddy what they did.Protecting the environment isn’t the easiest concept to

explain to a toddler, but my husband said that they worked hard to save planet Earth and all its creatures.

“Daddy,” our son said, “can they save the dinosaurs?”It’s true that kids say the darndest things, but what stops

me in my tracks time and again is their hopefulness. They’re brimming with it. Hope seems to be their knee-jerk reaction to everything.

Forget all the petty, worrisome, or negative stuff that so many of us adults tend to toy with, if not dwell on. Kids just like having happy thoughts dancing in their heads.

And it’s not just possibility they see at every turn. They perceive goodness everywhere, too. They tend to see the best in people. It breaks your heart to think about them having to learn that things aren’t always as wonderful as they may seem.

Given the state of world affairs, though, we need their sense of optimism more than ever. With people in Haiti still trying to rebuild their lives after the catastrophic earthquake earlier this year, global warming, and ongoing warring, it’d be all too easy to sink into hopelessness.

But if we all just held on a little tighter to childlike goodwill, the world would be a brighter place.

More than 15 years ago, Robert Fulghum became famous for writing All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. In fact, kids start gleaning the simplistic lessons he came up with—share everything, play fair, don’t hit people—long before they reach kindergarten.

Add to the list so many things our children teach us every day: Help people if they’re sad or hurt. Dance whenever you feel like it. Take your shoes off in the car. Hug somebody when there’s thunder and lightning. Plant seeds. Read books. Look for snails when it rains. And cuddle. A lot.

Seeing the world through a child’s eyes is one of the most extraordinary aspects of parenthood, a never-ending laugh-out-loud learning opportunity.

Here at blush, we want to celebrate the hilarious and eye-opening journey of parenthood every step of the way. We encourage you to join us.

Visit our website at blushmom.com or send us an email and share with us the life lessons you’ve picked up from your little ones. How have they renewed your faith in humanity? What are some of the perspectives they’ve come up with that you’ll never forget?

It might be too late for the dinosaurs, but there’s still time for us to adopt our kids’ unshakable hopefulness.

Happy, hopeful spring.

Get more Gail! Visit her blog at blushmom.com

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blushmom.com | 13

My three-year-old crawls into our bed in the middle of the night. How can I encourage him to sleep on his own? Q: What is the

nuchal translucency test? Do I need to have it done?

askkarlEnEKarLene Karst, rD, is an author, spokesperson, and mom to two-year-old Luca.

Q:All parents reach that point of exhaustion when we give in to the urge to bring our children to bed. I say do what you have to do to feel rested.

But it doesn’t take long for little ones to realize how cozy it is in Mommy and Daddy’s bed. Almost every child will, at some point, spend time in his parents’ bed after having a bad dream or feeling sick. The important thing is to get your child right back into his regular routine.

Is crawling into Mommy and Daddy’s bed something he’ll grow out of? The consensus is yes. But you should still encourage him to enjoy his own space. Kids love feeling

The nuchal translucency test is used to estimate the likelihood that your baby will be born with a birth defect such as Down’s syndrome or Turner syndrome.

This test is performed between 11 and 14 weeks of pregnancy. An ultrasound performed on the mother’s abdomen assesses the amount of fluid located under the skin on the back of the neck of the fetus, also known as the nuchal fold.

This test assesses the risk of chromosome disorders such as Down’s syndrome, as babies with that condition tend to have higher amounts of nuchal fluid. Further testing, such as amniocentesis, can be done following the nuchal translucency test to verify whether the baby has a birth defect.

The nuchal translucency test involves no known risks to mother or baby.

You and your doctor will discuss which screening tests are appropriate for you, depending on the risk factors that may run in your family. b

comfortable and safe, and their rooms should make them feel that way.

Children over age two are able to follow sleep rules, which may include a bedtime routine of bathing, brushing teeth, putting on pyjamas, enjoying quiet time, and staying in bed once the lights are turned off. These rules can be reinforced with rewards such as a treat after a successful night.

If you find your child in your room, gently lead him back to his own bed, reassuring him that Mommy and Daddy are always there if he needs anything. Snuggling with your child in his own bed may also help him relax.

1 | blush SPRING 2010

Visit the blushmom.com Contest Blog for details and enter to win!

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blushmom.com | 15

{ you }

23%Being like mom · breastfeeding · Baby names Support for moms · Stretch marks · fashion

lower risk of coronary heart disease was reported in women who had breastfed for a lifetime total of two years or longer, compared with mothers who did not breastfeed.

Nursing may also help to reduce breast cancer risk for moms and provides baby with beneficial antibodies.


{ you }

Your ties to mom … after you’re a momLisa Bendall

When Chantal Kreviazuk talks to her kids, she catches herself channelling her mother on a regular basis. “I say things like, ‘I’m the parent. You’re not a grown-up yet. When you’re a grown-up,

you can make that decision,’” she says with a laugh. “Those kinds of things are hilarious!”

mother nature

Chantal Kreviazuk and her son, Salvador (this page). Opposite

page: Chantal and son, Rowan.

blushmom.com | 17

Kreviazuk, known as “Mommy” to her three little boys but to the rest of us as a chart-topping singer-songwriter from Winnipeg, says her own mother is very hands-on and has always been closely involved in her life. Today, her mom’s legacy is evident in the way Kreviazuk raises her own children. “My mom has amazing values,” she says. “And she’s very mildly tempered. So I try to bring that into everything I do with my kids.”

No matter who we are, our parents are our single biggest influence as we’re growing up. So it makes sense that when we have children ourselves, we instill a little bit of our moms into our own parenting. Perhaps, then, we can forgive ourselves when we occasionally find ourselves repeating stuff we swore we’d never, ever say to our own kids.

Besides, is that really so bad? “Sometimes when you become a parent you realize that action or comment you hated when you were a kid makes a lot more sense than you realized,” says Jeanne Williams, a psychologist in Edmonton. Other times we may respond out of habit, having heard certain favourite retorts from our own parents for 18 years straight. “Because I said so” isn’t exactly the world’s most eloquent comeback. “It comes out of our mouth before we’ve had a chance to think first,” Williams says.

sEEing THE LigHTNew parenthood is also a time when many women behold their mothers in a new light, and that experience can be both enlightening and cherished. “I know what she went through, now that I’m a mom. Now I realize that there is no love like a mother’s love,” Kreviazuk says. “I feel very connected to her in a new way … I feel like I’m far more patient with my mom, and I want to

treat her with a lot of respect.”That empathy for your mother is

a common experience, says Andrea Stoodley, a family counsellor in Saint John, New Brunswick, and a new mom herself. “Once you have a child, you can see things from your parents’ perspective. You can see the sacrifices they made for you and why they put you first.”

Award-winning theatre director and playwright Alisa Palmer agrees. When she became a parent in Toronto with her partner, novelist and actor Ann-Marie MacDonald, Palmer says she abruptly gained insight into her mother’s experience as an immigrant raising three kids. “I had a great deal more sympathy for her loneliness,” she says. “She was a homemaker for many years while my father was very busy ➳

“ I feel like I’m far more patient with my mom, and I want to treat her with a lot of respect.”

{ you }


and often absent. I definitely felt an acute solitude when I was at home with two small children close in age.”

Palmer also says she absorbed many lessons from her mother that she now works to instill in her daughters. “My mother taught me a great deal about compassion. In our home town [Fredericton, NB], she knew everyone’s name. She was incredibly bubbly and funny and welcoming, and she placed a high priority on inclusion and drawing people out. I try to model these things for my children.”

Palmer’s mom died three years ago, when Palmer’s daughters were just four and two. But in a way, she still plays a role in Palmer’s mothering. “I have found myself saying things my parents said and did,” she says. “When it has to do with table manners, or how to speak with warmth and sincerity, I feel my mother close by.”

That mother-daughter bond can connect one generation to the next like a golden thread. Your relationship with your mother continues to be salient after you have kids, says Williams. “And it will be reflected in your relationship with your own children, maybe especially if you have a daughter,” she notes.

HAVing A HEArT-To-HEArTWhen Jill Umbach of Owen Sound, Ontario, adopted her daughter, now four, she says she waited for her mother to dive in with guidance. After all, her seasoned mom had raised seven kids of her own, including four adopted children. “My mom was very excited and thrilled [about her grandchild],” Umbach recalls. “But I was so surprised she was so hands-off.”

It turns out that grandma had been advised by friends to back off and keep her mouth shut. That approach just ➳

When you start a family, your own mom can be one of your greatest resources. here’s how to keep the communication healthy.

» be open and honest. If something is bothering you, be prepared to dish instead of stewing over it. But in your discussion, try not to attack or be on the defensive. Stick to the facts and stay as neutral as you can.

» Present yourself as a peer. You’re not a little girl anymore, so don’t act like one. Work on your own identity and independence. You’ll be more likely to be treated as an adult.

» be a good listener. When your mom says your son should have worn his other jacket, do you interpret it to mean she doesn’t think you know how to dress properly? Let go of old battles, says edmonton psychologist Jeanne Williams. “It’s important to hear the words without the emotional baggage. Try not to read too much into what she’s saying.”

» ask for help. That’s a toughie for many women. But so is parenting a newborn. “This is not something you can do to your best potential alone,” says Saint John family counsellor Andrea Stoodley. “When you ask your mom for help, it goes a long way to showing respect.”

» set boundaries. “Grandmothers love to be a part of their grandchild’s life. It’s great to have them, but there are times when it can be too much and overbearing,” says Stoodley. You may need to set limits on how often your mom visits or calls—or, as Williams adds, “even deciding whether you’re going to be Facebook friends!”

left to right: Jill Umbach and daughter, Zara (left). Jill’s mother, Nancy Umbach with Zara

Mother-daughter dialogue

blushmom.com | 19

wasn’t doing it for Umbach, who, as a single mom, needed to hear she was doing okay. She finally had to appeal to her: “Would you please step in?”

That’s where healthy communication comes in (see sidebar). Your mom can be an incredible source of support, but you need to find a level of involvement that works for both of you. “It’s easy to go too far in either direction, to be too dependent or too distancing,” says Williams. Umbach did the right thing by expressing her needs to her mom, noting, “She was reassuring once I said, ‘I need to hear from you.’”

Elaine Chan of Markham, Ontario, says she, too, enjoys the equilibrium she has with her mom, who doesn’t hold back when it comes to sharing her experiences yet never forces her advice on her daughter. “I can ask about things, and she tells me what she thinks about it. It helps me worry less,” says Chan, who became a first-time mom last April. “And because

there’s no pressure, I find there’s more freedom to talk about certain things.”

Chan says her new baby has affected the way she views her mom. “I have more appreciation for the kinds of things my mother did and how she raised us.”

When her daughter started sleeping through the night, Chan says she was surprised by how much she missed her by morning. She suddenly realized how her own mother must have felt when Chan left for university or spent time overseas.

rigHTing A WrongAs much as we love our mothers, we may also feel they made certain parenting mistakes we’d rather not repeat. “If you’re unsatisfied or hurt by the parenting you received, sometimes you intentionally do a 180,” Stoodley says.

That’s been a part of Palmer’s experience. “My mother had the

unfortunate tendency to tamp down big emotions,” she explains. “I get the feeling she was scared of emotions. When I became a parent, I was inexplicably overwhelmed by any pain experienced by my kids. I’ve worked very hard not to be afraid of their pain and to make room for their feelings.” But at the end of the day, in a teaching moment with her daughters about compassion, she appreciates the role model she had growing up. “I feel fortunate and proud to have her voice in my heart.”

Kreviazuk says she feels a strong connection to her mother even when she’s working hundreds of miles away. “I’ve always felt very close to my mom,” she says. “But now I feel closer to her. There’s something deeper, because we’re both mothers.” b

Lisa benDaLL is the author of Raising a Kid with Special Needs (Key Porter, 2008) and a contributor to Between Interruptions: 30 Women Tell the Truth about Motherhood (Key Porter, 2007).

“ Your mom can be an incredible source of support, but you need to find a level of involvement that works for both of you.”

Elaine Chan (right) with her mother, Yuk-Shim (left) and her

daughter, Alexandra (centre).


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the real deal

The North Vancouver mom trolled websites to get a sense of what kinds of supplies she’d need once baby came home and loaded her freezer with food to get through those first few weeks.

But she wasn’t prepared for having trouble nursing.

Because breastfeeding is natural, most women assume it will come easily. But the reality is very different: many first-time moms are flabbergasted to learn that nursing can be far more difficult than they ever anticipated.

“I was shocked and horrified at how hard it was,” Montgomery tells blush. “It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

“It’s physically and mentally exhausting. No one ever emphasized the pitfalls, the fact that it may not be super fun at first or that you could get depressed over it or feel like a failure over it. Nobody said that.”

Although she admits she had moments when she was tempted to give up, Montgomery stuck with it.

Nursing can be tricky Gail Johnson

When Melanie Montgomery was pregnant with her first son, she got her hands on every little bit of information she could to prepare herself for the delivery. She thought she was ready for anything.

She visited drop-in groups where she leaned on other moms for support and sought out help from a lactation consultant and community health nurse. She went on to comfortably and confidently feed her baby boy. She’s thankful she did. Breastfeeding turned out to be a life-changing experience for her that allowed her to bond with her son in a profound and intimate way.

Still, she wishes she had been forewarned about the potential struggles that can accompany feeding a newborn.

“There should be something in school to prepare people for this somehow,” she says. “It’s such a fundamental human thing to do, yet we glaze over it, at least in our society. We don’t value it.”

nursing BY THE nuMBErsEileen Shea, a Hamilton, Ontario, lactation consultant who’s been helping breastfeeding moms since 1985, says it’s extremely common for

first-time moms like Montgomery to be in for a rude awakening when they first put baby to breast.

“The most common reason for trouble is lack of a role model,” Shea says from her office at McMaster University. “Women don’t know what to expect. They’re 20 to 30 years old, and their own mothers didn’t breastfeed, and they haven’t seen cousins and aunts breastfeed. Then they come to have their first baby, and they don’t realize what’s going to be involved.”

“It can be quite a struggle at first. Women feel frustrated; that word comes up a lot. But if they can make it through the first few weeks, they begin to enjoy it. Things will get better. When there are problems, there’s a real sense of satisfaction when women overcome them, and they’re happy they did. I hear from moms all the time [who] say how nice it is to have a three-month-old who looks up at them and smiles while they’re nursing, who gives them that look.” ➳

breastfeedingon

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the BC WoMen’s Milk BankThe only fully operational human milk bank in Canada provides pasteurized donor milk to high-risk and ill children when their mothers can’t provide enough of their own breast milk. Pasteurized donor milk is provided with a doctor’s or midwife’s prescription. Donors are healthy mothers who have been screened for certain health conditions. The Ontario Human Milk Bank is currently in development. More information is available at bcwomens.ca.

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The Public Health Agency of Canada recommends exclusive breastfeeding until a baby reaches six months of age, at which point solid foods get introduced, with continued breastfeeding up to two years of age or beyond.

According to the Public Health Agency of Canada, the rate of women who initiated breastfeeding rose to 87 percent in 2005 from 81.6 percent in 2001.

In 2005 16 percent of Canadian infants were breastfed exclusively for six months compared to 14 percent in 2003.

A 2003 Statistics Canada survey of more than 5,000 women who had breastfed and then stopped found that 22 percent quit within the first

month. The most common reasons for stopping were not enough milk (23 percent), the child weaned itself (17 percent), mother returned to work or school (14 percent), and inconvenience and/or fatigue (12 percent).

LATCHing onLearning to breastfeed requires equal parts patience, practice, and technique. The key to pain-free, effective breastfeeding is all in the latch. Done properly, baby will open her mouth as wide as a yawn before mom places her onto the breast. Women quickly learn that their baby needs to take in the entire areola, the dark area surrounding the nipple, and not just the nipple itself.

An improper latch can result in several unpleasant physical effects, including sore nipples. The best way to establish a good latch is to have a knowledgeable health professional watch you nurse. She can make adjustments to better position both mom and baby.

To soothe sore, cracked nipples, women can use lanolin creme or even their own breast milk. Apply generously and let air-dry.

A poor latch—which results in poor emptying of the breast—can also lead to blocked ducts and mastitis.

According to Toronto’s Newman Breastfeeding Clinic (nbci.ca), a blocked duct sometimes resolves on its own with continued breastfeeding on the affected side, which helps drain the breast.

Breast milk is bestWhile breast milk is indisputably the best source of nutrition for your baby, the decision whether, and for how long, to breastfeed is a personal one. Don’t feel guilty if you can’t breastfeed, don’t produce enough milk, or decide to stop before your child reaches six months of age.

If you need another feeding option, your health care practitioner can recommend a formula that’s right for your baby.

Formula digests more slowly than breast milk so baby requires fewer feedings. Whether you choose formula or express breast milk, bottle feeding allows dad to feed baby, too—and creates a close and loving bond.

To avoid nipple confusion wait at least a month before introducing your newborn baby to a bottle or pacifier. Also, be aware that early supplementation can decrease your body’s milk supply.

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Mastitis is a painful infection associated with redness, fever, chills, and pain. Sometimes the condition clears up on its own. However, it may also be treated with antibiotics.

CoMMon ConCErnsMany new moms worry their baby isn’t getting enough milk. To determine whether a wee one is consuming sufficient amounts, weigh her regularly and check for wet and dirty diapers.

In some cases, women don’t make enough milk—or at least they think they don’t.

“Most women are quite able to supply enough, but they don’t really trust themselves,” Shea explains. “They’ll say, ‘My baby ate an hour and a half ago and wants to eat again now. What’s wrong?’ Generally, it’s a newborn who just wants to eat a lot.”

If a woman’s supply truly is low, there are ways to boost milk production and, in turn, the amount the baby’s getting.

One way is to work on that latch. Baby might spend a long time on the breast but might not actually be consuming very much.

“If a baby is weak, they don’t suck as well, and then supply goes down: it’s a downward spiral,” Shea says. “But if they have more energy, they’re stronger, so they suck stronger, and that in turn boosts production.”

If supplementation is needed, women have options. They can top up baby’s feeds with previously expressed breast milk, milk from a breast milk bank, or formula.

Use of breast milk alternatives is a subject of heated debate, and women who need, or choose to use, formula often find themselves being unfairly judged or facing rebuke. Every

heading BaCk to Workideally, moms who want to continue breastfeeding once they’re back at work will have a place at the office where they can pump or express milk: a quiet, clean space with a chair and a power outlet.

■ Bring an electric or manual pump, along with sterile bags.

■ Pump or express milk at the same times your baby would feed.

■ Store breast milk in the fridge or in a cooler. For your commute home, place the bag in a cooler with an ice pack.

tip: Have a supply of breast pads on hand in case of leaking. Patterned tops help conceal spillage.

situation and every baby is different. Moms must decide for themselves what’s best for their baby’s—and their own—well-being.

ConfLiCTing inforMATionMaking breastfeeding even trickier are all the mixed messages women hear: one health professional might tell them that a baby needs to feed for 20 minutes on both sides at every feeding; another might say that a baby gets 90 percent of a feed in the first 10 minutes.

As the Newman clinic makes clear, there are no rules when it comes to how long or how often a baby should feed.

“For one mother, feeding every three hours or so may [happen] often; for another, three hours or so may be a long period between feeds,” the clinic states. “For one [mother], a feeding that lasts for 30 minutes

is a long feeding; for another, it is a short one. Let the baby determine when he is ready for feeding and things usually come right,” as long as baby is sucking effectively.

It’s crucial for new moms who are feeling frustrated over breastfeeding to get physical help and emotional support. Shea recommends La Leche League, hospital breastfeeding clinics, mommy-and-baby drop-ins, community centres, and public health units that have lactation consultants on hand. Then there is the best source of all: other moms.

“Talk to any friends and relatives who have breastfed,” Shea suggests. “Take the information that you feel is good for you.” b

GaiL JoHnson is the managing editor of blush.

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Naming your child is never easy Erin MacNair

We shall name thee …

Bunny!

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For a lucky few parents, their child’s name just came to them. The rest of us may take a more systematic approach.We use the Internet. And family genealogy, religious backgrounds, neighbours, people at the bus stop … everyone. Presenting our unborn with an identity, completely without his or her input, is a daunting business.

sTriKE ouT oDDBALLsWe identify ourselves within the first few seconds of meeting someone by giving our name, not our interests. And no one relishes the idea of being laughed at because of an oddball name.

Even some semi-normal names should be permanently retired—such as one I recently heard: Ronald McDonald. Culturally iconic names are a burden. Just ask my extremely white friend, Diana Ross, whose parents named her during the height of the disco era.

Some might think it’s cool to give their kid a unique name. It may be if you’re a celebrity; you might get away with a name like Pilot Inspektor, Apple, or Kal-El. Sticks and stones will be deftly handled by bodyguards; bullies will fall into the moat. But most of us don’t have a moat.

AVoiDing nAME MinEfiELDsWhen we were expecting our second child, my husband and I were overwhelmed by the limitless choices for names. Finding out our baby’s sex helped to narrow down the options.

Then came his suggestions: “Let’s name her Bunny, like the girl in The

Shipping News.” I smiled, playing along. Bunny MacNair. Although it does have a certain ring to it, I didn’t want her to have to work in the sex industry. What if she wanted to be a judge?

More suggestions will come from your family, whether you ask for them or not. A litany of names from the past will surface, and many of us will give in to familial influence. It’s admirable to honour a beloved family member, as long as it’s your choice.

ConsErVATiVE = ConTEnTEDAs Canadians, we tend to be conservative when naming our brood. We must have read the surveys conducted by Albert Mehrabian, author of The Baby Name Report Card and a professor of psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles.

His research showed that more common names elicited positive reactions, while unusual names typically brought negative responses. “Yes, you can have someone stand out by being bizarre, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to be good,” he says.

Perhaps this is why provincial Vital Statistics records don’t offer up many Memphis Eves or Tiny Bimbos in their top 10 lists.

Don’T BurDEn Your BABEAre these unusual names harmful in the long run? Iona Knipl, the recent winner of John Tierney’s New York ➳

“ Are unusual names harmful in the long run?”

boys GirLs

ethan Ava

Nathan emma

William Olivia

Jacob Chloe

Noah Sarah

Samuel emily

Matthew Hannah

Joshua Madison

Benjamin Abigail

Alexander Sophia

PoPular Canadian nameseach province collects baby names through their respective Vital Statistics agencies. The following list represents a compilation of the top 10 names across the country for 2008 (the most recent data available).

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Times Worst Bad Name contest, grew to overcome her mother’s oversight. “In school it bothered me, but now I think it’s neat,” she said. “It’s different.”

Surely it can put pressure on a kid. What if Peerless Price, an NFL football player, wasn’t a star athlete? Burdening a child for a lifetime of living up to a name is serious; what if Joy is melancholy or Grace a total klutz?

So how did we find the perfect name for our second child? We tried sounding out names around the house. Our then three-year-old son Evan piped in now and then, once suggesting, “Name her Truck!”

The naming moment came when a stranger asked Evan in the grocery store, “What’s the baby’s name?” as she pointed to my enormous frontage. “Her name is Stella,” he said, resolute. I got the shivers; the choice was made.

We may never know if the name we chose was perfect. After all, Babycenter.com recently published a poll of 1,219 mothers, and 10 percent considered changing their baby’s name. Stella can always change her name if it doesn’t feel right (or use her nickname, Bunny). One 30-year-old, seemingly in charge of his faculties, changed his name to Optimus Prime. That’s right, from the Transformers.

If deciding on a name for your baby is too overwhelming, you could consider hiring a name consultant, who charges anywhere from $35 to $500. They aren’t certified, but then again, neither is your mother—or our three-year-old son. b

erin macnair is a freelance writer, mother, and metalsmith. She blogs for themomoirproject.com, and her articles about motherhood can be found online and in print.

BaBy naMe helpersHaving trouble? Try the following websites for inspiration.+ babynamemap.com + how-to-choose-baby-names.com+ babynames.com+ babyhold.com

blushmom.com | 27

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Online and offline, moms are building friendshipsHeather Lochner

After seven years of courtship and marriage, Britt Raposo heard the words she was anxiously waiting to hear, “You’re pregnant.” However, as her

pregnancy progressed, so did her worries. What had once been joy and excitement soon turned to bewilderment and trepidation. Having no

friends with children, Raposo felt lost. ➳

Finding timeto

connect with other moms.

Visit us online at blushmom.com.

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TAKing iT onLinERather than languishing, this Calgary mom turned to the Internet and joined a mother’s international community forum. While this community of women was able to answer her pregnancy and early-childhood questions at all hours of the day, Britt longed for more. She craved local connections. So when her daughter was a year old, Britt took matters into her own hands and formed an online community, Calgary Moms (calgarymoms.com), the first of its kind in Calgary.

“I started my forum because I wanted local friends with kids,” Raposo explains. Initially, the group consisted of 10 women who gingerly wrote about parenting and their feelings.

“Soon we became friends and connected on more and more issues. We discussed weight loss and our marriages. We gave virtual hugs when someone was having a bad day, and eventually we met at a park. As we became friends, so did our children.”

Like her website, now 3,500 people strong, the park meetings evolved into mom nights out, scrapbooking clubs, child playgroups and mom-only retreats. “I was looking for a couple of friends, and it exploded from there,” laughs Raposo. “We may have met online, but we formed an offline community.”

Having a community, whether it is at your fingertips or at the local drop-in, is what helps many moms

navigate the thorny and pleasurable periods of child rearing. An Ottawa-based mother of three, Candace Derickx knows how difficult and isolating parenting can be and understands the value of friendships for you and your children.

“It took me a long time to meet other moms, and when I did it was through my daughter’s nursery school,” says Derickx. However, as her daughter grew, those friendships did not and soon Derickx found herself struggling for support. “As you get older, it gets harder to meet new people,” says Derickx. “But with Twitter, it is easier. I have met a lot of friends that way.”

TWEETing Vs. MEETingDerickx explains that Twitter can give a lot of insight into a person. Unlike meeting someone at the park, when you meet on Twitter or on a forum, you can read their previous posts and tweets, see who they are following, or read their blog if they have one. Then you can ask yourself a few questions: Do I like what they are saying? Do I identify with them? Do I want to be their friend? If they’re not a good match, you can discreetly de-friend them, no awkward moments by the tire swing. Derickx has replaced playground dating with online writing, and for those friendships that are worth keeping, she takes the online, offline.

A study recently completed by Mom Central Canada in collaboration with

Sharpe Blackmore EURO RSCG found that 78 percent of digital moms are clicking on social networking sites where they are finding support, friendship, and advice. Furthermore, the survey found that 50 percent of the moms surveyed are online creators, moms who are using the Internet to post photos or create blogs.

Victoria-based Jeanette Miller, principal of limelitePR and mother of two young girls, estimates there are 300 to 400 Canadian moms who regularly blog about mommyhood. These blogs range in diversity: some focus on product reviews, some on social movement, and some are open diaries. While this may surprise some, for mothers out there and online, this is old news. Social networking is the new coffee klatsch. It is the place where moms can give voice to their inner fears, and in the next moment, rave about the latest trick their child has performed.

“I’m a girl’s girl,” says a laughing Derickx. “Twitter and blogging give me so many more women whom I can share my experience of being a mom with. It has connected me with people who can really relate.”

going offLinEAre these virtual playgrounds enough? According to Sarah Juliusson, creator of Vancouver-based Mama Renew and Dancing Star Birth, moms need a healthy mix of virtual and face-to-face contact. She admits there is security in

“Having a community is what helps many moms navigate the thorny and pleasurable

periods of child rearing.”

blushmom.com | 31

Canadian WeBsites for MoMsfacebook.com: Moms, of all ages, can connect. A great way to share photos with your network of friends.

twitter.com: Become a user and enter the world of tweets. By following others, not only can you learn from their experiences but you can also make online friendships.

familyeducation.com: Check out this website that brings together educational resources for parents, teachers, schools, and community organizations to positively affect children’s education and development.

blushmom.com: Visit us online! Read articles, product reviews, and Gail’s blog; connect with other moms; and enter our contests for a chance to win great prizes.

knowing people around the province, country, and world who face similar issues. However, Juliusson emphasizes there is immeasurable value in connecting with that mom across the street or at the drop-in centre.

Where can mothers go to find these groups? For starters, they can try local community centres and family places. “The key is to walk through that door, then come again, and again, and again,” explains Juliusson. “It may take five or six times until you feel comfortable, but keep going. Then approach a mom and say, ‘Hey you, I want to get to know you.’ There is a risk because you don’t know how they will respond, but you have to

take that first step. You never know who you may meet.”

Mother Mimi Choi found support during her early mothering years at a Toronto municipal program called Baby Comes Home. It was where a small group of mothers met weekly with a public health nurse to discuss first-time motherhood issues. “When the program ended we continued meeting, sometimes several times a week,” recalls Choi. And as the kids grew and it became harder to meet, this group of moms stayed in touch by email. “I don’t think our group could have established the connection we had if we met just online, but email accelerated how we knew each other.”

The path of parenting is not always easy. Connections, in any form they may take, are essential for moms and their children. “Motherhood is the great connector which allows for friendships that otherwise would not take place,” says Juliusson. “The Internet is a safe place for many women to discuss their fears and inner journey. But face-to-face interactions also help decrease feelings of isolation and of being the only one facing these problems.” b

HeatHer LocHner is a writer and mother who lives on her sailboat. When not cruising, Heather can be found at the playground, or updating her blog and Twitter status.


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Are they inevitable?

Over half of women experience stretch marks along with their burgeoning pregnancy belly, marks that can also appear on buttocks, breasts, and arms. Naturally thin and fair-skinned women are more at risk, as are women with a body mass index greater than 26. Surprisingly, very young mothers are at highest risk of severe stretch marks, while mothers in their 30s are less so.

To get a good idea of whether pregnancy stretch marks are in your future, talk to your mother or sister. Genetics seem to be a big predictor of your skin’s future. Also, the overall condition of your skin is a major factor: the drier the skin, the higher the chances.

fEED Your sKinMany pregnant women eat with abandon, happily snacking for two. But gaining more than the recommended 25 to 35 pounds during pregnancy is linked to the appearance of stretch marks. After delivery, rapid weight loss can also trigger stretch marks, so aim for gradual weight gain during pregnancy and equally gradual weight loss after delivery.

While you’re already eating well for the baby, make sure you’re eating well for your skin, too. Foods high in vitamin C, such as peppers, citrus, and berries, and zinc, in nuts and fish, help

Lisa Petty, ROHP

You’re thrilled and fascinated to see how your body is changing during pregnancy—except for the stretch marks.

to boost collagen formation, so include plenty of them in your pregnancy diet. Vitamin A is necessary for new cell growth. Find it in orange vegetables such as carrots and sweet potatoes. Crucial for tissue repair, vitamin E is plentiful in dark green leafy vegetables, nuts, and seeds.

Along with your prenatal multivitamin, be sure to get adequate omega-3 fats. While pregnant women are warned about excess fish consumption due to the risk of mercury toxicity, purified fish oils are low in mercury and high in skin-healing omega-3s. These compounds are essential to healthy cell membranes, helping to trap moisture and prevent dehydration. Hydration is crucial for healthy skin, especially as it stretches. Be sure to drink plenty of water and noncaffeinated beverages, as coffee is associated with more severe stretch marks.

gET Your BLooD MoVingModerate exercise during pregnancy helps keep your muscles strong, your heart healthy, and your blood circulating nutrients and oxygen to the cells in your body. To boost circulation to the topmost layers of skin, enjoy a regular massage or self-massage the areas prone to stretch marks. Dry brushing is also a good way to bring blood to the topmost layers of skin.

TopiCAL soLuTionsWhile moisturizing skin might seem like a superficial solution to a deeper problem, research confirms one thing: it may not help, but it doesn’t hurt either. At the very least, moisturizers can help alleviate the itchiness that comes with stretched skin. Whatever you choose, check with your health practitioner to make sure any product you apply to your skin is safe.

While there are some moisturizers specifically designed for use during pregnancy, simple is often best. Use a mild soap. Soothe and condition your skin with natural and scent-free moisturizers such as olive oil, coconut oil, or shea butter. For best results, apply several times a day from the first trimester until you have achieved your pre-pregnancy weight after delivery.

Stretch marks will eventually fade after your baby arrives, so give your body time to heal. If you aren’t happy with your skin then, new research in laser therapy shows some promise for reducing their appearance. And know this: when your baby turns 18, you’ll look at those stretch marks fondly. b

Lisa Petty, ROHP, is a mother of two and the author of Living Beauty: Feel Great, Look Fabulous & Live Well (Fitzhenry and Whiteside, 2005). Listen to her radio show at LisaLive.info.

dreadedThosestretch marks

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What’s going on? Stretch marks are linked to fibres in the skin called elastin and collagen. elastin gives skin its snap, and research shows stretch marks contain less of this fibre. Collagen is the substance that gives skin its structure. When stretched too far or too rapidly, collagen will break down. As it heals, it can form scar tissue, at first an angry red or purple. eventually, these coloured marks fade to a white or silvery shade, but they never disappear completely.

“ Over half of women experience stretch marks along with their burgeoning pregnancy belly.”


Feverspringdress

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Clean and chicWHy it WorKs: The allure of the all-white spring dress lies in its fresh, clean look, which is easy to dress up or down with the right accessories.

styLinG tiP: Include colourful accents, such as sweet floral slippers and some vibrant bling, and toss a neutral-toned bag over your shoulder. Add a tailored jacket and switch to heels for a dressier look.

Fit tiP: To keep this chic, look for a white dress that is fitted, not loose or billowy (those styles are better for the beach).

Springtime brings sunshine, green leaves, flowers … and pretty dresses! This spring, fashion abounds with bright colours and vibrant patterns. Whether you’re bombing around town with your little one in tow, or heading out solo for coffee with a girlfriend, we have the best spring dress for you.

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Country casualWHy it WorKs: A pinafore is perfect for playtime with your little one, providing you with freedom to move around easily and a look that’s sweet as a spring day.

styLinG tiP: For an edge, add a jacket with sleek lines and some seriously stomping country-style boots. A hint of gold accessory keeps things light and fun.

Fit tiP: To avoid looking frumpy, seek an A-line dress to keep lines clean on top, and keep the hemline above the top of your boots.

“ For an edge, add a jacket with sleek lines and some seriously stomping country-style boots.”

tHis PaGe: dress: H & M, hm.com; jacket: H & M, hm.com; boots: Old Navy, oldnavy.ca; necklace: Mimi & Marge, mimiandmarge.com

oPPosite PaGe: penelope dress: Narcissist, narcissist.com; shoes: Old Navy, oldnavy.ca; kate spade bracelet: Wear else, wearelse.com; Badgley Mischka bag: Wear else, wearelse.com

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Cute for coffeeWHy it WorKs: A strapless sundress works well for a coffee date—sport this shoulder-flattering look when your wee ones are at home and won’t tug on your dress!

styLinG tiP: Throw on some heels and beautiful dangly earrings. For this playful look, leave your practical side at home. A simple cloth tote adds cute factor.

Fit tiP: Since neckline is bare, your hemline shouldn’t be too short—at or below the knee is best. For extra support, seek a sundress with a detachable neck strap.

“ With a bare neckline, your hemline shouldn’t be too short.”

tHis PaGe: dress: Old Navy, oldnavy.ca; bag: H & M, hm.com; cole Haan air Jocelyn sandals: Wear else, wearelse.com; earrings: Jessie Turner Jewellery Design, jessieturner.ca

oPPosite PaGe: Hilary dress: Narcissist narcissist.com; jacket: H & M hm.com; cole Haan air Elly shoes: Wear else wearelse.com;cuff bracelet: Mimi & Marge mimiandmarge.com

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Comfortable and classyWHy it WorKs:The gathered dress provides instant appeal, nipping in to subtly emphasize the bustline, then flowing forgivingly in elegant, comfortable lines.

styLinG tiP:Add a punchy red jacket and bold silver bangle for instant flair. A neutral-toned low wedge heel is a great wardrobe staple that works well here.

Fit tiP:Look for gathers above the waistline; this placement flatters everyone and provides stylish extra room for a baby bump. b

*75397_1*

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blushmom.com | 39

{ your little one }

90minutes

Baby massage · Fever facts · Nightmares · Electronic babysitter Music appreciation · Vaccination dilemma

is how long your child’s brain spends in one rapid eye movement (ReM) sleep phase, experiencing several of these phases during the night.

Children dream or have nightmares during ReM sleep. Ease your little one back to sleep after these scary episodes with immediate physical comforting.

{ your little one }


touchgentlea

Baby massage soothes wee ones

THE BEnEfiTs of BABY MAssAgEThe skin-to-skin connection of an infant massage helps a baby thrive and promotes growth and development. The power of human touch is incredible. Research has shown that massages in infancy stimulate growth-promoting hormones and increase the number of enzymes that cause the cells of vital organs to be more responsive to those hormones.

According to a 2003 study published in the Journal of Pediatric Psychology, babies who received massages averaged greater daily weight gains than those who didn’t. In addition,

Melina Roberts, ND

A parent’s loving touch on a baby’s delicate skin is one of the most valuable things you can do for your precious little one. Research has shown the strong connection between baby massages and health benefits.

massage seems to be extremely beneficial for low birth-weight babies, who have been shown to gain weight faster and leave the hospital up to six days sooner.

One profoundly positive effect of massage in infants is the way it appears to accelerate brain development, according to a study published last year in the Journal of Neuroscience. Other research, such as a 2006 study in the journal Infant Behavior and Development, found that babies who receive massage are more relaxed, sleep better, fuss less, and cry less.

Massage for babies is also a brilliant tool for calming them down and

helping them get a good night’s sleep. Not only that, but infant massage also helps develop a valuable connection between parents and their little one. Take it as an opportunity to interact with and get to know your baby better. It is important to read your baby’s cues and pay attention to what she enjoys.

MAssAgE oiLAnything that you put on your baby’s skin will be absorbed into her bloodstream; therefore, you want to stay away from chemicals, fragrances, and petroleum-based products. It is best to choose edible oils such as fruit or vegetable oils,

blushmom.com | 41

pure vitamin E oil, or essential oils. Cold-pressed oils are best, because they’ve been extracted by pressure only and not by heat or chemicals.

HoW To gET sTArTEDChoose a place that is quiet, free of interruptions, and comfortable for both of you, and a point in the day when you are not pressed for time. Lay your baby on her back on a hair dryer-warmed towel on the floor or on a change table. Keep your hands on baby at all times, especially if she is on an elevated surface.

You can place a light blanket on parts of the body that are not being massaged. Warm the oil in your hands by rubbing them together before applying to baby. Engage in eye-to-eye contact and talk or sing to your wee one. Make sure to use very gentle pressure as you delicately rub the oil into the skin.

BABY MAssAgE TECHniquEsBegin with the legs. Hold one foot in your hand and softly and rhythmically squeeze the leg from the ankle to the thigh. Hold the thigh with both hands and gently twist and squeeze. Roll the leg between your hands from the knee to the ankle. Encircle your hands around the ankle and do a series of thumb presses and sliding strokes

along the sole of the foot. Rub each toe. Repeat on the other leg. End the lower body portion by lightly stroking each leg from the thigh to the foot.

For the abdomen, slide both hands around baby’s belly in a clockwise motion below the ribcage. Start at the lower right corner of the abdomen and move upward and across the bottom of the ribcage, then down to the lower left corner and repeat. This is a great technique for promoting good digestion and settling colicky babies. If your baby is having digestive difficulties, you can gently pump her legs into her abdomen, which helps release gas.

For the baby’s chest, start at the centre and slide both hands to the sides and repeat. Do gentle circular motions on the chest and shoulders.

The arms are done in a similar fashion to the legs. Hold one of your baby’s hands and softly squeeze the arm from the wrist to above the elbow with the other hand. Gently twist and squeeze the upper arm with both hands, then roll the arm between your hands. Encircle your hands around the wrist and do thumb presses and sliding strokes along the palm of the hand. Rub each finger. Hold the arm up and do smooth circular motions in the armpit to stimulate lymphatic flow. Repeat with other arm.

For the face, do light circular motions with your fingers along baby’s forehead, temples, nose, and eyebrows; around the mouth and jaw; and then the ears. Do light fingertip strokes along the centre of the forehead and move outward to the temples and down along the cheeks and jaw. Avoid the soft spot on the top of the head.

Turn the baby onto her stomach and massage her back. Use the pads of your fingers and make small circular motions all over her entire back. Use your whole hand and stroke the back from the top to bottom.

BEsT TiME To giVE A MAssAgEThe best times to give massages are before naps and before bedtime. It is good to have a routine, which will not only relax baby and prepare her for sleep, but also encourage her to associate massage with rest, which makes going to sleep so much easier.

Giving your baby a massage is an excellent way for you both to bond. This relaxing technique can be an extremely positive experience for both baby and parent. b

meLina roberts, ND, is a naturopathic doctor and mother. She practises in Calgary, Alberta. Her clinical focus includes pediatric and women’s health, chronic disease, digestive disorders, and cancer. melinaroberts.com

Encircle your hands around the ankle and do a series of thumb

presses and sliding strokes along the sole of the foot.

{ your little one }


fever?No sweat

First, don’t panic. A fever is usually simply the body’s normal reaction to infection—and infection is an inevitable part of childhood. It’s the unknown that can make us most anxious. Armed with knowledge, however, you can take control of the situation.

TAKing A TEMpErATurEYou can often detect the presence of a fever by feeling your child’s forehead, but taking an accurate temperature is an essential parenting skill. Mercury thermometers are no longer recommended. Instead, a good digital thermometer will do the trick.

For children younger than three years, the best way to take a temperature is rectally. Yes, rectally—you can do it. Place your baby on her back and bend her legs to her chest. Lubricate a clean thermometer with a small amount of petroleum jelly, insert half an inch, don’t let go, and voila. Once you hear the beep, you’ve got your reading.

Taking an axillary (armpit) reading is perhaps the easiest method, but the least accurate. Slip the bulb of the thermometer under your child’s bare underarm and hold her arm tightly against her chest. Leave the thermometer there until you hear the beep.

Kimberley Foster

It’s the middle of the night and you’re awakened by a faint whimpering sound. You tiptoe into your child’s bedroom and touch her head. Your little one is

burning up. Fear takes hold. What do you do?

Once your child is four or five years old, you can take her temperature by mouth. Place the bulb of the thermometer under your child’s tongue and leave it there for one minute until you hear—you guessed it—the beep.

An ear thermometer can be an option for older babies and children, but it can be expensive and tricky to use. For an accurate reading, straighten the ear canal by gently tugging back on the ear before inserting the probe.

MAnAging A fEVErYou don’t need to race to the medicine cabinet when dealing with a child’s fever. It’s not necessarily the temperature that needs to be treated, but the discomfort it causes. A helpful guideline to keep in mind is this: treat the child, not the reading on the thermometer.

There are many nonpharmaceutical ways to help your fussy baby or achy child feel more comfortable. To start, don’t overdress your tot. Light cotton pyjamas will allow excess body heat to escape. Drinking plenty of cold liquids will help cool that hot body and prevent dehydration. There is conflicting advice about lukewarm baths. It’s perhaps worth a try, but be careful not to use water that’s too

cool—you’ll only induce shivering, which will increase body temperature.

If you’ve done your best and your little hot potato is still uncomfortable, consider medication. Your options include acetaminophen (Tylenol or Tempra) and ibuprofen (Advil or Motrin). Aspirin (ASA) is a no go, however. It’s been linked with Reye’s syndrome, a rare but serious condition in children and teenagers with fever.

Dosages should be calculated based on weight. The dosing guidelines on the package, usually based on age, are generally safe, unless your child is particularly large or small for her age. Be careful to avoid giving an excessively high dose of acetaminophen as this can be toxic to the liver.

WHEn A fEVEr BECoMEs CoMpLiCATED: fEBriLE sEizurEsOf course, this is what every parent fears. It’s true, witnessing a febrile seizure can be terrifying.

How do you recognize a seizure? A child will typically stiffen, become unresponsive, roll his eyes, and twitch. However, it’s important to remember that the seizure itself is, in fact, harmless to your child. A febrile seizure won’t

blushmom.com | 43

When to see your doctora high temperature doesn’t automatically warrant a trip to the doctor. Most of the time you can stay at home and keep your little one comfortable while the fever settles on its own. But there are times when you should see a physician:

» fever in a child under six months of age

» high fever (over 39.4 C or 103 F) in a child older than six months of age

» fever lasting longer than 72 hours

» signs of dehydration such as dry mouth, tearless crying, or decreased urination

» signs the infection may be more than a simple virus, including earache, severe sore throat, unexplained rash, repeated vomiting, severe cough, or difficulty breathing

» excessive fussiness, irritability, or lethargy

» seizure

cause brain damage or any other serious health consequence. But there are some important things to keep in mind.

If you suspect a seizure, act quickly to prevent injury. Place your child on a flat surface away from sharp or dangerous objects. Turn him on his side to allow vomit or saliva to drain, but don’t restrain him. Don’t put anything in his mouth; he will not swallow his tongue. Most febrile seizures last less than one minute, though it can feel like an eternity.

If the seizure lasts longer than three minutes, or if your baby is less than

six months old, you should call 911 or the emergency number in your area. Otherwise, visit your doctor within a few hours of any seizure—no matter how brief—to rule out underlying factors, such as meningitis, that might have triggered the seizure.

Caring for a feverish child is a rite of passage for parents. With a calm, logical approach, you and your child will get through it, no worries. b KimberLey Foster is a family physician and writer in Victoria, BC, who has found herself on many a night coping with her own little hot potato, her four-year-old son.

measurement location celsius Fahrenheit

mouth 35.5 to 37.5 95.9 to 99.5

rectum 36.6 to 38 97.9 to 100.4

armpit 34.7 to 37.3 94.5 to 99.1

ear 35.8 to 38 96.4 to 100.4

norMal teMperature range

natural relief

Homeopathy offers several remedies, each of which suits a particular type of fever. Different formulas work best for fevers due to colds, flu, or other

illnesses. Some companies even offer child-specific formulas. Talk to a natural health retailer and consult your health care practitioner before

deciding on the right natural products for your child.

{ your little one }


Children’s nightmaresHow parents can help kids cope

Most young children experience a nightmare at least once, and research has shown that chronic nightmares, lasting more than three months, occur in almost 25 percent of children between the ages of two and five. No one knows if pre-verbal children experience nightmares. Some experts believe that they are a sign of children’s developing imaginations, while others theorize that infants’ sleep disturbances may be caused by bad dreams.

nigHTMArE or sLEEp TError?Many parents have difficulty distinguishing between nightmares and sleep terrors. Understanding the difference can guide how you respond to your child. Nicky Cohen, a Toronto psychologist who specializes in children and sleep issues, explains that several features distinguish sleep terrors from nightmares.

Sleep terrors happen during very deep sleep, which usually occurs in the first several hours of the night or even during naptime. During a sleep terror, a child may be very upset and may seem to be awake but is actually sleeping. She is neither aware of nor comforted by her parents’ presence. Sleep terrors can last minutes or much longer. Although

Lisa Naylor

Four-year-old Cali recently woke from a scary dream and tearfully described how a green monster had been stealing her lunch at daycare. Like Cali’s parents, many of us have felt helpless in the face of our child’s frightened cries in the middle of the night.

frightening for a parent to witness, children rapidly return to a deep, calm sleep after the sleep terror is over.

Nightmares tend to happen in the latter half of the night during rapid eye movement (REM) or dreaming sleep. Children usually wake up from bad dreams or can easily be woken by a parent. Most children are afraid to go back to sleep afterward and don’t want to be left alone, as they may vividly recall upsetting images. Very young children do not know the difference between dreams and reality, so it is hard for them to understand that the story or picture they saw in their mind was not real and is now gone.

rEWriTing THE EnDingWhen Cali faced her lunch-stealing green monster, she believed she would see him again if she went back to sleep. Cali’s mom, Winnipeg social worker Cindy Fawcett, sat with her and encouraged her to imagine a different ending for her dream. First, Cali described who else could be there. She thought that the daycare cook would be sure to stop the monster from taking her lunch. In her imagination, the story grew richer, and she filled it with other people who she knows love her and would keep her safe.

Finally, Cali suggested that the monster was lonely, and she decided to invite him to sit down and eat lunch with her. After resolving the story in this way, she was able to return to an easy sleep and did not express concern about her dream the next day. Even in the midst of their shared anxiety, her mom recognized this discussion as a special bonding opportunity.

Coping sTrATEgiEsCali has experienced nightmares for the past 18 months. Her mom has used a number of strategies to help prevent the scary dreams. Cali has a dream catcher hanging by her bed and is aware that its purpose, according to Aboriginal traditions, is to catch the bad dreams. One day she told her mom that the dream catcher was full. Now they regularly “empty” the dream catcher by opening a window and blowing the nasty dreams away.

Fawcett has also noticed that balanced nutrition, a regular bedtime routine, and time spent relaxing together at the end of a high-energy day all contribute to calmer sleep and fewer bad dreams. If Cali is experiencing apprehension at bedtime or recalling a scary image she saw on television, her mom encourages her to

Lisa nayLor is a mom, writer, and counsellor in Winnipeg.

blushmom.com | 45

remember something that made her happy. Other children respond to the idea of a “worry bowl” in which they can place their fears. A marble or stone can be put in the bowl to represent each worry they want to be rid of before falling asleep.

norMAL DEVELopMEnTChild development experts suggest discussing your child’s fears during the day and helping her build self-confidence in her own coping abilities. Frequency of nightmares can be reduced by ensuring that your child is getting enough sleep. When children are deprived of sleep, they tend to experience extra REM sleep the next night, which can increase the likelihood of having a bad dream.

The content of dreams changes as children age and tends to reflect

developmental stages or specific events going on in the child’s life. Cohen notes that nightmares may start after a child is exposed to something new, such as a villain in a movie or an unfamiliar animal at the zoo. She explains that with greater cognitive development, children become aware that bad things sometimes do happen and the world is not always a safe place. When this knowledge is reflected in dreams, it is seen as a normal part of development and a sign that a child is developing well.

Many bad dreams can be rewritten like Cali’s green monster sitting down to lunch. Children can usually be soothed and learn to cope with their nighttime fears. However, if your child experiences stress or ongoing anxiety because of scary dreams, it’s a good idea to talk with your family health care practitioner. b

Tips for soothing your little one after a nightmare» Provide immediate comfort.

For babies and young toddlers, holding them and providing physical comfort is enough. Older children will need verbal reassurance as well.

» encourage her to use her imagination to create an alternate ending to a bad dream.

» Use relaxation techniques such as massage or deep breathing to help her calm down.

» Help her stay in her own bed so that she learns that it is a safe place to be.

» Leave on a night light or provide a comfort item, such as a blanket or favourite stuffed animal, to help ease the transition back to sleep.

“ Help her build self-confidence in her own coping abilities.”

{ your little one }


TV or not to TV?The truth behind the electronic babysitter

Should we feel guilty about putting our children in front of the tube? How much is too much and how young is too young?

THE sTorY of guiLT“I’m a mother, and one of the prerequisites of being a mother is the constant feeling of guilt that we experience every time we do something the ‘experts’ say is bad for our kids,” says Kelli Catana, mother of four children under the age of eight and blogger for YummyMummyClub.ca. “But if I can keep one of them from whining [by watching television] and therefore helping to maintain just a bit of my sanity, I will do it and I will do it guilt free.”

Not all moms feel the same way. “I do feel guilty about letting them watch TV,” says Lindsay Harris, founder of glowbaby.ca and mother of two children, age three and one. “I feel that the whole point of having children is to spend time with them and that watching TV, even if I’m with them, is not quality time.”

Kathy Buckworth

for KiDs unDEr TWoLynn Oldershaw is a developmental psychologist as well as the executive in charge of preschool programming at CBC in Toronto. She has done extensive work in the field of children’s television and is involved with the development, writing, and production of CBC’s children’s programming, which is geared to kids age three to six.

Although the Canadian Paediatric Society recently urged parents not to let kids under two watch TV, Oldershaw says there is little research available on the detrimental effects of doing so. She adds, however, that measuring any real benefits or harm can be difficult.

Recently, the Walt Disney Company started offering refunds to parents who purchased Baby Einstein DVDs, as the company could not substantiate their claim that the program would improve toddlers’ cognitive development.

“We do know that under two, children’s brains are rapidly developing, and that one-on-one interaction with humans is very

important,” Oldershaw says. “The argument against children under the age of two watching television is that if they are watching, it is potentially replacing one-on-one contact.” However, she notes 88 percent of parents with children under two watch shows with their kids.

for KiDs THrEE To sixWhen children get into the three-to-six age bracket, there are many proven benefits of watching shows that give them information they can process cognitively—often through humour—which leads to learning.

“Television opens up a whole other world for kids, introducing them to worlds that they would otherwise not know exist,” says Catana.

CBC Kids has been providing this type of edutainment for little ones since the days of The Friendly Giant, Chez Hélène, and the extremely popular Mr. Dressup. The Friendly Giant was mostly ad-libbed, with star Robert Homme working from a one-page ➳

ever since children’s television programming began, moms have been struggling with whether the “electronic babysitter” is a help or a hindrance for their children and their own sanity. Since the days of Sesame Street and Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, kids have been watching, connecting, and learning through their television experience.

blushmom.com | 47

“ TV can also introduce ideas that stimulate the imagination.”

{ your little one }


plot summary. There were recurring elements in each show (“Look up, look waaaay up”), and the series provided a gentle environment to learn about sharing and human emotions.

Today shows such as dirtgirlworld, Bo on the GO!, Super WHY!, and Poko are developed with an educational focus in mind. All CBC shows identify at least one educational focus as a basic criterion—in the case of dirtgirlworld, it’s eco-awareness; for Turbo Dogs, it’s interpersonal skills; and for Bo on the GO!, it’s physical activity.

LEArning MATTErsPatty Sullivan is one of the popular hosts of the Gemini Award-winning Kids’ CBC, writing and starring in its interstitials (segments that run between regular shows). She says she loves the station’s approach to learning.

“Kids learn, but it’s not in your face,” Sullivan says. “We like to call it small ‘e’ education.” She admits that many of these segments involve having adults fail, as that’s what kids find funny, but there are some big “E” education segments, such as the series shorts AlphaNet.

Sullivan says she loves that adults seem to recognize her on the street as much as kids do, since they watch together, and she believes that “the more children hear things repeated or related to, the more likely they are to remember it.”

TogETHEr TiMEBecause parents are the ones choosing the programming for their very young kids, Sullivan and her team work hard

to appeal to adults as well. Her new favourite segment is called What’s Your News?, which focuses on media literacy and storytelling, with young children being interviewed or reporting on their own news, be it tying a shoelace for the first time or other age-related accomplishments.

Sullivan, a mother of a three-year-old daughter, is also a big fan of the show Poko, which she says is the only CBC show to focus on emotional intelligence. “This is a show that deals with real emotions,” she says. “He gets sad occasionally, as do real kids. They can relate to this, and it makes them feel better about themselves.”

TV VErsus ACTiViTYIs there such a thing as too much television? Oldershaw firmly believes that the only issue with too much television is that it speaks to what children are not doing while they’re watching. Harris agrees that if television time is taking away from doing a physical activity or bonding with family, this can be a problem.

“I think some of the risks of TV watching include a sedentary lifestyle and lack of imagination, as all ideas and stories are spoon-fed,” Harris says. However, she admits that TV can also introduce ideas that stimulate the imagination. quALiTY ConCErnsClearly, the quality and content of the shows kids are viewing has an impact on any potential risks of watching TV.

“Violence is obviously bad, as are shows that aren’t developmentally geared to them,” Oldershaw says. “If

kids are confused by what they see, they may not feel smart.” She adds that it is extremely difficult to write for preschoolers because adults simply don’t remember how they processed information before the age of eight. “We don’t know how we viewed the world,” she says. “Memories are one thing, but the way we processed information at that young age is another. It’s very easy to confuse preschoolers.”

In the past, CBC conducted research on shows by taking them into daycare settings and observing the children’s reaction. The show Dragon Tales, for example, was heavily researched and extremely successful, says Oldershaw.

finDing BALAnCEThe way to balance screen time with real life is to look at your own family and determine what works for you. Take the time to ensure you know what your kids are watching and how many hours they’re spending in front of the tube.

“TV fits in around our life—karate classes, school, errands, et cetera.,” says Caroline Fernandez, founder of parentclub.ca and mother of two. “The TV goes on during the arsenic hours and thus I don’t feel guilty about getting things done because they really need the quiet time.”

Catana agrees. “I say anything that gives kids a bit of solitude and entertainment, that also provides mom with some peace and quiet, is the most wonderful invention in the world.” b

KatHy bucKWortH’s newest book, Shut Up and Eat: Tales of Chicken, Children and Chardonnay (Key Porter, 2010), will soon be available at bookstores everywhere.

“The Canadian Paediatric Society recently urged parents not to let kids

under two watch TV.”

blushmom.com | 49

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{ your little one }


tunesToddler

exploring music with the under-four set

Maceo’s mom, Jasmine Myhill-Jones, noticed early on that Maceo responded to music. “I would say as young as seven or eight months he started bobbing, then really tapping his foot to music by about a year, and definitely dancing just a couple of months after that,” she recalls.

Music educators have been telling us for quite a while that children are inherently musical beings; now science is backing them up.

A 2008 study published in Nature Precedings found that very young babies respond to music. Infants as young as three days old were found to discriminate between melodic and disjointed music. That babies tune in to the music around them is no surprise to Lyn van Lidth de Jeude,

Josie Padro

Two-year-old Maceo Myhill-Jones wedges a CD between his chin and shoulder. He picks up a stick and draws it back and forth in the air, imitating the fiddler he’s just seen playing on the street. “I’m playing the biolin!” he shouts.

music therapist and early-childhood educator. She believes music is the most intimate form of communication, starting with the lullabies parents sing to their newborns.

fosTEring THE LoVE of MusiCMusic lessons are one way to start children on their lifelong musical journey, but there is plenty parents can do to explore music at home with their little ones.

singEven if you don’t have the vocal chords of Céline Dion, don’t be afraid to sing to your child. Babies don’t care whether you sing in tune, says van Lidth de Jeude. “If you’re critical of yourself, you’re

teaching your child to be critical of themselves,” she says.

Infants respond to lullabies and simple songs such as “The Wheels on the Bus,” “Hickory Dickory Dock,” and the alphabet song. As children acquire language, they can make up songs about what they are doing or put new words to an old song.

danceToddlers love to wiggle and shake, so dance comes naturally to them. Movement to music fosters gross motor coordination, spatial awareness, and agility.

select a wide range of musicWhile there are many good children’s recordings, feel free to share your

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own favourites with your child as well. In general, children prefer music with a strong beat and a great deal of repetition. Experiment with music from cultures other than your own. Try Hawaiian, bhangra, or klezmer.

Recorded music can accompany activities throughout the day. Calm music will set the tone for quiet time, while a boisterous march may help get kids moving and burn off excess energy. start a collectionGather an assortment of simple instruments, and keep them where your child can easily reach them. For toddlers, try percussion instruments such as bells and maracas. Try an egg-shaped shaker or a tambourine, which can also be used as a drum. Don’t forget kazoos and harmonicas, which are inexpensive and fun to play. Depending on your child’s interest, you may even want to invest in a mini keyboard.

There’s growing evidence that learning to play an instrument has a positive influence on intellectual development. Several programs are available for the four-and-under set. While they differ in method, they all start with the basic belief that all

children are musical and that parents play a significant role in fostering their children’s musicality.

van Lidth de Jeude adds that hands-on experience with instruments is a good way to give children a sense of control. They can start and stop when they want, they can choose loud versus quiet, fast versus slow, or any other variable they want.

Go liveSeeing other people play instruments often inspires children to create their own music. Whether it’s a concert, a street entertainer, or a friend playing the guitar, find opportunities for your child to see music being made. If you’re on a tight budget, take your child to see performances put on by local dance or music schools.

Jam with the familyActively creating music is better than passive listening, and with instruments at hand, music can break out at any time. Follow your child’s

lead; join in and have some noise-making group fun. Have patience; children will repeat the songs they love. That’s part of the fun.

“You don’t have to be born into a musical family to have a musical family,” says van Lidth de Jeude.

Each family has its own unique way of expressing itself. At the Myhill-Jones household, when Maceo pulls out his instruments, the family is happy to get together and jam. “We’re into it,” says mom Myhill-Jones. “We’re showing enthusiasm; we’re having fun as well. We take the fun seriously.”

In the end, introducing your child to music is about giving a gift no one can take away. It’s also about the experience of mastery and, ultimately, of joy. b

Josie PaDro is a Vancouver writer and music lover.

Kindermusik

Offered for the very young, from newborn to age six, sessions focus on developmentally appropriate skills and incorporate singing, movement, and hands-on playing of percussion instruments. enrolment packages come with at-home materials, including CDs, books, and basic instruments such as harmonicas and castanets. kindermusik.com

The Suzuki method

Developed by violinist Shinichi Suzuki, the course involves teaching children to play the violin in group classes, accompanied by their parents, who are considered the at-home teachers. For the first several years, children play by ear. One of the most remarkable things about the Suzuki method is the astounding number of pieces children are able to easily play from memory. suzukiassociation.org

Music for Young Children

This style introduces the keyboard and, through its consecutive levels, teaches children to read music. It encourages musical composition at even the earliest levels. Three- and four-year-olds, accompanied by a parent, are gradually introduced to notes on the piano using games, songs, and crafts. What’s learned in class is practised and reinforced at home. myc.com

Fees for lessons can be prohibitive, especially with the added cost of an instrument. Most community centres offer dance and music classes for preschoolers and babies. Many libraries also incorporate music into storytime.

Getting with the program

{ your little one }


dilemmaMaking sense of the great debate Susan Biali, MD

How do you feel about vaccinating your child? Chances are, you’ve heard arguments for both sides—to vaccinate or not to vaccinate—and have made the best decision you can based on a combination of available information, professional and unofficial advice, and gut feeling.

VACCinEs: WHY AnD HoWEvery baby arrives with a functioning immune system that reacts to infectious invaders by producing antibodies to fight them off. Although the short-term antibodies disappear after a disease has been defeated, the cells that manufactured the antibodies have memory, which enables them to reproduce these antibodies if the same infection attacks again. If your body has

a memory of—and the ability to launch a defensive response to—a certain virus, you are immune to that virus.

Vaccines leverage this built-in system, creating immunity without your body ever having to experience a real attack. They contain a weakened or killed form of the disease-causing organism; when this is injected into the body, the immune system builds antibodies and memory against that disease and

protects you should you ever encounter the real infectious germs.

VACCinE suCCEssParents used to live in fear of potentially devastating illnesses such as polio, measles, rubella, and tetanus. Polio causes a sudden paralysis that can result in permanent disability or death. My high school friend’s mother contracted polio as a child; half of her face was

Vaccination

blushmom.com | 53

paralyzed, and decades later she still walked with a limp.

The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that before a vaccine was available, 13,000 to 20,000 cases of paralytic polio were reported each year in the United States alone. These yearly epidemics left thousands of people, mostly children, in braces, crutches, wheelchairs, and even iron lungs for the rest of their lives.

Today we rarely, if ever, encounter these illnesses because the majority of our population has been immunized. It’s strange to be a physician and to have not seen some of these famously dreaded childhood diseases. I might even miss the diagnosis if one ever crossed my path, because I’ve never witnessed one in my training or experience.

Many of those who haven’t been immunized are still protected today because of a phenomenon called “herd immunity.” If the “herd,” or the majority of people, have been immunized and don’t have the disease, chances are that an unimmunized person won’t be exposed to it and will be safe as well. Herd immunity also protects vulnerable children who can’t be immunized, such as infants under 12 months of age, as they aren’t old enough to receive some vaccines, such as the one for measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR).

risK VErsus BEnEfiTAs you can see from the table that accompanies this article, the recommended childhood vaccines are deemed safe for the great majority

who receive them. That said, no mother wants to be the unlucky one whose child turns out to be that one in a million who has a severe reaction. There are so many opinions and stories that it’s really hard to know who to believe or trust.

More and more parents are opting out of vaccinating their children, in some cases triggering a backlash among physicians. An ABC News story from last fall reported that some American pediatricians were actually banning unvaccinated patients from their practices, with both the doctors and parents vehemently defending the right to their position.

Many parents fear or believe that the MMR vaccine and other shots cause autism. Signs of autism first appear around 15 or 18 months of age, right around the time that children normally receive the second dose of the MMR vaccine. People who believe that there is a link cite this timing as proof, while experts point to large studies that show autism rates are the same in both vaccinated and unvaccinated populations.

DoCTor’s ApproACHI asked my colleague Dr. Lesley Horton, a holistically oriented, board-certified family doctor who practises integrated health and preventive medicine, whether she immunized her two young children, now four and six years old.

“Bottom line, immunizations are good for you,” says Horton. “There is a price for everything and nothing is risk free or comes with a guarantee. The potential diseases are much worse

than any potential risk the vaccine might pose, which parents might worry about. The diseases are still out there, and there is no guarantee your child will live in Canada all their life nor avoid contact with someone who isn’t immunized.”

In Canada none of the routine childhood vaccines, as indicated on the immunization schedule, contain thimerosal, the additive that has been linked to concerns about autism. The only possible exception is the hepatitis B vaccine, which may be given with thimerosal only to infants at high risk (born to chronic hepatitis B-infected mothers).

“I don’t recommend avoiding immunizations for the routine vaccines,” she concludes. “It is risky, and it is relying on the hope that everyone else has immunized their kid, preserving herd immunity.”

iMporTAnT MEDiCAL ADVAnCEMEnTAnother colleague, Dr. Maurice Blitz, a thoracic surgeon and assistant professor of surgery at the University of Toronto, also immunized his children.

“I believe that after clean drinking water, immunizations are the greatest medical advancement in modern medicine and society,” he told me. “They are responsible for more lives saved and preserved than anything we do. Unfortunately, their success is leading to their downfall. As more of these diseases become less common, people do not see their devastation and some start to think that immunizations are no longer needed.” ➳

“ Today many who haven’t been immunized are still protected because of a phenomenon called ‘herd immunity.’”

{ your little one }


onLinE ConTroVErsYIf you go online and read the outraged comments from both sides (pro-vaccines and anti-vaccines) responding to stories such as the aforementioned ABC News segment, you’ll appreciate that it’s hard to know who to believe. My friend Mary, for example, worries that vaccine exposure could potentially harm her children, who are now eight and 10 years old.

“I decided not to vaccinate them and am also proud of the fact that neither has ever had to have an antibiotic,” she told me. “They eat only the purest

foods, get lots of rest and exercise, and are extremely healthy.”

Even though I don’t have children yet, I can relate to Mary’s point of view. I’m a “health nut” myself and can imagine that I will be extremely protective of my children, doing everything I can to protect their pure little bodies from chemicals, pesticides, food additives, unnecessary medications, and the like.

“I haven’t met many parents who don’t want to immunize their children, but I respect their decision,” says Horton. “However, I point out that if

they were to leave our low-risk country for another, even for vacation, they are putting their kids at risk. They have likely never seen a child crippled for life by polio or heard of someone dying of measles, but it happens when children aren’t immunized.”

Food for thought, but in the end, only you can decide what is best for your child. b

susan biaLi, MD, is a practising medical doctor, wellness expert, and the author of Live a Life You Love: 7 Steps to a Healthier, Happier, More Passionate You (Beaufort, 2010).

Vaccine aGe GiVen PossibLe miLD reactions (common)

moDerate reactions (uncommon)

seVere reactions (extremeLy rare)

DtaP (diphtheria, tetanus, pertussis)

» 2, 4, 6, 18 months» booster: 4 to 6 years

» fever» redness, swelling, soreness

at injection site» fussiness» decreased appetite» vomiting

» seizures (1/14,000)» crying for 3 hours or

more (1/1,000)» high fever (1/16,000)

» severe allergic reaction (< 1/1 million)

» long-term seizures or altered consciousness**

» brain damage**

iPV (inactivated polio vaccine)

» 2, 4, 6, 18 months» booster: 4 to 6 years

» soreness at injection site * *

Hib (Haemophilus influenza type b)

» 2, 4, 6 months » redness, warmth, swelling at injection site

» high fever

* *

mmr (measles, mumps, rubella)

» 12 months» booster: 18 months

or 4 to 6 years

» fever» mild rash» swelling of glands in

cheek/neck (rare)

» seizure caused by fever (1/3,000)

» temporary low platelet count (1/30,000)

» severe allergic reaction (< 1/1 million)

» deafness**» long-term seizures or

altered consciousness**

varicella (chickenpox) » 12 months or older » soreness, swelling at injection site

» fever» mild rash

» seizure caused by fever (very rare)

» pneumonia (very rare)

hepatitis b » 3 doses in infancy or preteen age

» soreness at injection site» fever

* » severe allergic reaction (1/1.1 million)

pneumococcal conjugate (pneumonia)

» 2, 4, 6, and 12 to 15 months

» redness, tenderness, swelling at injection site

» fever» fussiness» drowsiness» loss of appetite

* *

meningococcal c conjugate (meningitis)

» 2, 4, 6, 12 months » booster: 12 years

» redness, pain at injection site

» fever

* » rare, serious allergic reactions

» Guillain-Barré syndrome**

sChedule and possiBle reaCtions

* vaccines marked with an asterisk are not known to cause moderate or severe problems; however, any vaccine, as with any medicine, has the potential to produce allergic reactions

**so rare that experts are not sure whether these reactions are caused by the vaccine

—Source: Public Health Agency of Canada (Immunization Schedules) phac-aspc.gc.ca

blushmom.com | 55Natural since 1868. And way too stubborn to change.

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{ your little one }


Magical Menagerie by Junzo teradaKids create their own menagerie with 20 vibrant animal sculptures by artist Junzo Terada. No scissors or glue needed—kids simply punch out the pieces to fit together.

chroniclebooks.com, $24.95

leap frog-alphabet ZooThree fun learning modes teach baby the alphabet, animal names, and animal sounds. Babies love spinning the wheel, which helps build motor skills too.

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Baby Zoo nightlightHuggable Turtle Gus is battery operated, so he can be placed right next to your little one while she sleeps. For ages 10 months and up.

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creature aBc by Andrew ZuckermanSpectacular wildlife photos of alligators, elephants, tigers, and more are displayed in this hardcover book, and also designed as four giant floor puzzles for kids to assemble.

chroniclekids.com, $19.00 (book), $24.95 (puzzles)

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taking careof You and Your Little One

Mustela skin care productsHypoallergenic skin care for little ones, featuring alcohol-free cleansing cloths, lasting hydration body lotion, massage oil, and a lovely light alcohol-free scent. The Hydra-Stick with cold cream is handy for intense spot moisturizing.

mustela.com, price varies

garden of life: oceans Mom and Vitamin code raW prenatal supplementsOceans Mom provides essential DHA, while Vitamin Code contains raw food-created nutrients, minerals, probiotics, live enzymes, and ginger to safely nurture mom and growing baby.

rawvitamins.com, price varies

palmer’s cocoa Butter formula productsNatural cocoa butter lubricates skin in Palmer’s Massage Lotion and Tummy Butter, both good for reducing stretch marks. Firming Butter helps to nourish and tighten skin. Baby Butter gently soothes baby’s sensitive skin.

palmerscocoabutter.com, price varies

Bio oilenriched with oils of calendula, lavender, rosemary, and chamomile, Bio-Oil’s non-greasy, hypoallergenic formula is safe to use during pregnancy to reduce or prevent stretch marks.

bio-oil.com, $12.99 (60 mL) or $21.99 (125 mL)

Baby Beaver nursing Balm and Massage ButterThis rich, skin-soothing balm doesn’t need to be rinsed off prior to breastfeeding due to its plant-based formulation. Massage butter’s light lavender scent soothes fussy wee ones.

greenbeaver.com, price varies

simple Wishes Hands free pumping BoustierA washable cotton-spandex bustier that offers stylish support for pumping breast milk, hands-free. Perfect for multitasking moms or those who appreciate some support while pumping.

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{ your little one }


Harry anD tHe PoP-uP Dinosaur Hunt

From the popular english “Harry and His Bucket Full” series, this book takes children on a playful adventure as they try to find a missing pterodactyl. With six spreads of sturdy pop-ups and hidden peekaboo panels for kids to flip up, this rhyming, colourful book covers all the favourite dinos, including a toothy Tyrannosaurus rex!

By Ian Whybrow $25.00, 12 pages

Penguin books, 2009, isBn: 978-0-141-32675-7

your baby can reaD mini-sLiDinG boarD booKs

These entertaining board books use a multi-sensory approach, featuring vivid colours and concealed pictures of well-known objects for baby to discover by sliding out a hidden panel. The six books in the series include: Bathroom, Bedroom, Home, Kitchen, Garden, and Play. Fun for babies to explore alone or with an adult for a truly interactive experience.

By Dr. Robert Titzer $9.95, 10 pages each

Penton overseas, inc., 2008yourbabycan.com

DwellStuDio boarD booKsDwellStudio, known for its innovative home décor designs, has produced a beautiful line of hardcover books with glossy colours and whimsical creatures. These books help little ones learn in style—whether it is colours, numbers, or animals. Try “Touch & Feel Farm”—your child will love touching the corrugated cardboard barn and fuzzy sheep with their own hands.

By Dwell Studio $6.99 to 8.99 per book, 10 to 12 pages each

blue apple books, 2009, isBn: 978-1-934-70677-0

bottLes, buDGets, anD birtHPLansThis mom-to-mom primer offers a practical guide to prepping for baby. From choosing a pediatrician to learning playgroup etiquette, the 280 tips in this book provide a great reference for handling many parenting issues. The appendix includes checklists for each month of pregnancy, as well as lots of handy web resources. Perfect for first-time moms.

By Katina Z Jones with Vincent Iannelli, MD $11.99, 256 pages

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50 Ways to suPPort your cHiLD’s sPeciaL eDucation

Discover simple ways to advocate for your child every day. With this well-organized book of tips, parents can learn how to communicate effectively with teachers, get homework done without a struggle, become more involved at school, and navigate the many additional issues facing anyone with a child in a special education program. A fantastic proactive tool for parents.

By Terri Mauro $15.99, 216 pages

adams media, 2009, isBn: 978-1-60550-112-3

tHe PreGnancy JournaL and baby’s First year JournaL

These classic journals have been a necessary companion for parents for many years. These new updated versions offer a wealth of information on everything from prenatal development to educational games for babies. Day-to-day guides format is simple to follow, and will help you to be aware of each exciting new development that awaits you and your baby.

By A. Christine Harris, PhD $24.95 each, 206 pages and 234 pages

chronicle books, 2009, isBn: 978-0-8118-6989-8 (pregnancy), 978-0-8118-6990-4 (first Year)

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{ your life }

11.5 to 16 kg

Eco laundry · Spring adventure · Fitness · parenting styles · food

Is how much weight Health Canada recommends a healthy woman should gain during pregnancy—17 to 25 kg (37 to 54 lb) if she is carrying twins.

Pre- and postnatal fitness is great for maintaining a healthy weight during pregnancy and maintaining fitness after birth.

(25 to 35 lb)

{ your life }


phosphatesLaundry detergents come clean

One important choice you can make to benefit the environment is to use environmentally friendly detergents.

KnoW THE BAD guYsDetergents have many components: surfactants to wet fabric and remove dirt, builders to soften water and assist surfactants, enzymes to attack stains, and brighteners to make clothes sparkle. The list goes on. Each decade has seen the introduction of new additives, many of which have come under fire for personal and environmental toxicity.

A number of common surfactants are known endocrine disrupters, or “gender-benders,” that alter wildlife development. For instance, research has shown that otters in the Columbia River basin had significantly smaller reproductive organs than normally found, and the higher the concentration of harmful chemicals found in the body of the otter, the smaller the reproductive organs were.

Nitrilotriacetate (NTA) is a compound that was previously commonly used in detergents, though less so now. However, it can still be found in a few laundry detergents. Although very effective, it is also listed as a possible carcinogen by the International Agency for Research on Cancer. As well, NTA binds with heavy metals in the environment, posing a toxic risk to numerous species.

Carla Elm Clement

sEEK A soLuTion A number of soap and detergent companies have now developed more eco-friendly alternatives. But finding the right product can be tricky.

Currently in Canada, ingredients must be listed on food packaging but not on cleaning products, so it can be difficult to figure out what is in your detergent. Many companies will list harmful ingredients that are not in their products, however. Look for a label that says “no phosphates” and “no NTA.”

For those with allergies, look for products free of nitrates, chlorine, animal enzymes, perfumes, and EDTA (a bleach stabilizer and preservative enhancer that is known to bind to heavy metals and is a possible cancer risk).

If you’re concerned about animal rights, look for products labelled “no animal testing,” “cruelty-free,” “plant-based product,” and “non-animal derived enzymes.”

To lessen the environmental impact of cleaning your clothes, seek detergents that can be used in cold water, and invest in a high efficiency washer (one that uses significantly less water and energy).

BuY BioDEgrADABLESome product labels show they’ve passed various biodegradability tests of the Organisation for Economic Co-

operation and Development (OECD). This organization sets guidelines for a range of product characteristics, including biodegradability.

Look for OECD test labels. Other products indicate the kind of plastic used in their packaging (designated by a number within the recycle arrows). This information will help you recycle the container once you’ve used up the product.

Also seek out concentrated formulations, which are better for the environment, as they generate less packaging.

ConsiDEr THE CosT Choosing alternative laundry products reduces the cost to environmental and personal health. Environmentally friendly products are now produced by many of the major detergent companies, which means that prices for green laundry products have decreased and will most likely continue to do so.

Next time you reach for detergent, consider the impact our desire for ultra-clean clothes has on our health and the health of our environment. Think of your little one and choose a product that will help to ensure a bright future for you and your children. b

carLa eLm cLement is a writer and editor.

BeyondCaring for your kids in these days of global warming means making choices that are kinder

to the world we live in, so that the earth our children inherit is as healthy as it can be.

blushmom.com | 61

Teach your little ones more about the environmentenvironment Canada has a ton of free kid-friendly activities, resources, and weblinks. Go to their website at ec.gc.ca and enter “kids’ zone” as a search term. enjoy!

did you knoW?Canada has suffered from lake over-

enrichment by phosphates, a byproduct of laundry detergents that contributed to dangerously high phosphorus levels in the

lakes. Our desire for sparkling clothes nearly destroyed the entire ecosystem of Lake erie,

one of the largest freshwater lakes in the world, making it age an estimated

15,000 years in only 50.

“Under current legislation in Canada, ingredients in cleaning products don’t

even have to be listed.”

{ your life }


funSpring activities your family can share Desiree Daniel

With small infants, a little preparation will let you do the things you love while baby hangs out and enjoys the ride. With toddlers and young children, find outings that encourage interaction and stimulation.

Whether a walk in the woods or a trip to the beach, pack the adventure with highlights and activities, and the kids will be entertained all day long. Here are some fresh ideas for family fun this spring.

WALL CLiMBingYou can set up climbing walls inside the house or in the yard to keep children active and entertained, rain or shine.

“Children are natural climbers,” Karen Berrisford, store manager for North Vancouver's Mountain Equipment Co-op, says. “Parents can buy climbing hold sets and build walls for early walkers. The holds come in fun shapes, and as the kids get bigger, you can add to the wall.”

If you’re looking for something to do this weekend, there are tons of family-friendly options to explore.

piCniCKingA family picnic is easy and can satisfy the whole gang when the kids are involved in each stage—from making and packing the food, to choosing a destination, and finally enjoying the picnic. Popular spots include parks, beaches, the countryside, or even your own backyard.

DriVingIn the car take advantage of a good opportunity to play educational games such as eye spy with three- or four-year-olds, point-and-pronounce games (bird, boat, trees) with toddlers, or simply to put the newborn to sleep.

HiKingWalking or hiking gives you a chance to stop, observe, and explore along the journey. Keep kids entertained by giving them something to look for, such as birds, animals, or certain types of trees. Bring plenty of water or juice and snacks to fend off the growlies.

BiKingBike trailers are available for wee ones and can be rented at local bike rental stores. According to Berrisford, an even better option for bigger kids not yet ready for their own bike is a run bike. These rely on kids’ leg power to propel the bike, with feet always on the ground.

“Run bikes are revolutionizing biking for kids,” she says. “They have no pedals and big wheels, so kids as little as three can bike interesting terrain with their parents.”

VisiTing THE fArMVancouver Island’s Little Qualicum Cheeseworks (cheeseworks.ca) offers both kids and parents the opportunity to tour the farm and cheese factory, learn where food comes from, and interact with animals such as goats, chickens, and ducks.

Similarly, Kelowna Land and Orchard in BC (k-l-o.com) and Applewood Farm Winery just north of Toronto (applewoodfarmwinery.com)

Outdoor

➳

blushmom.com | 63

tips for outings With little ones» Take plenty of rests.

» Count on more prep time and less time out.

» Pack extra clothes.

» Use hand warmers in cooler months.

» Bring lots of snacks.

» Have games ready to keep kids engaged.

{ your life }


have luscious orchards to walk about where children can pick seasonal fruits. While the tots are busy, parents may taste wines made on site.

gArDEningGet those little hands nice and dirty by letting kids dig, plant, and pick their way through your seasonal treats. (You may be amazed how helpful a four-year-old can be with weeding!)

If you don’t have a garden, community gardens are a great alternative: walk among the various plots and introduce your child to a diverse selection of plants and flowers. Or set up your own windowsill garden with houseplants and have your tot help water or repot.

april shoWers: tips for a rainy dayLet’s face it: you and yours may be stuck inside a day or two (or three) this spring. There are plenty of things you can do indoors to keep the kids busy.

★ Bead bracelets, necklaces, and key chains.

★ Bake cookies, bars, or squares.

★ Camp inside with tents made out of pillows and blankets.

★ Create pictures, placemats, and hats.

★ Organize a scavenger hunt.

★ Make easter eggs.

★ Make popcorn and watch a movie.

★ Play hide-and-seek.

★ Get cozy and read your favourite stories.

★ Make games out of household chores.

online resourCesmountain equipment co-op: mec.ca

Family education network: familyeducation.com

toddler toddler: toddlertoddler.com

The key to having fun with kids is to make the most of simple pleasures and get them involved in the process. Most importantly, you’re spending time together as a family. As the old adage goes, “It’s the journey, not the destination.” b

Besides writing (and doing laundry) Desiree DanieL spends her time enjoying family, friends, and the awesome outdoors around Vancouver, BC.

“ Get those little hands nice and dirty by letting kids dig, plant, and pick their way through your seasonal treats.”

blushmom.com | 65

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{ your life }


1. Stay fit during pregnancy

In 2003 the Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada (SOGC), along with the Canadian Society of Exercise Physiologists (CSEP), published guidelines for exercise and pregnancy. Both groups recommend that all healthy women with normal pregnancies will benefit from cardiovascular exercise and strength training. We’re going to focus on cardio.

BEforE You BEginBefore beginning or continuing an exercise routine, be sure to complete a PARmed-X for Pregnancy form with your doctor or midwife. This form helps you evaluate your current fitness level, outlines safety considerations, and lists exercise restrictions. Find it at csep.ca.

Melanie Osmack

Has pregnancy motivated you to take better care of your body? Whether you are new to fitness or already active, you probably have some questions about exercise during pregnancy.

frEquEnCYThe SOGC recommends doing cardiovascular exercise three to four days a week. How often you exercise matters, since many research studies point to frequency as being key to the prevention of gestational diabetes mellitus.

inTEnsiTYPregnancy is the time for fit women to maintain a healthy level of fitness and for beginners to ease into an active lifestyle. It is not the time for competition or major fitness gains. Keep your heart rate within the recommended range and listen to your body.

TiMEAim to be in your target heart rate zone for 15 to 30 minutes. Remember ➳

fiTnEss:

Top 3 prenatal cardio choicesPrenatal interval fitness classInterval classes led by certified pre- and postnatal fitness specialists are the ideal way to incorporate cardio and strength training into a busy lifestyle.

Prenatal aqua classWater aerobics improve circulation and increase flexibility. The feeling of weightlessness improves mood and increases energy.

WalkingWalking is easy, effective, and free. Be sure to follow the guidelines for frequency, intensity, and time.

this issue we take a look at fitness from three different perspectives:1. Prenatal fitness for active women. Activities that women can continue

during pregnancy, and what should be avoided.

2. Fitness with a new baby. exercises mom can do at home with her new baby, including the physical benefits and muscles targeted with each.

3. Fitness with a toddler. Outdoor games that mom can play with toddlers to get them moving, and why.

get more great fitness tips online at blushmom.com.

blushmom.com | 67

Homeocan products can be found in natural health stores and pharmacies.Call us today toll free 1-800-556-0824 or visit www.homeocan.ca

{ your life }


exercise PHysicaL contact

DanGer oF FaLLinG

FoLLoWs GuiDeLines For Frequency, intensity, anD time

a GooD cHoice

Ex. soccer Yes Yes No No

1.

2.

3.

to include a proper warmup and cool-down. If you are a beginner, start with 15 minutes and add two minutes every two weeks to a maximum of 30 minutes.

TYpEThe SOGC recommends avoiding any activity which involves physical contact or danger of falling. Let’s look at an example. Anna, three months pregnant, is a trail runner. She has shortened her runs to 30 minutes and slowed her pace so that she does not exceed her target heart rate. However, the trail she runs on has large, protruding tree roots. To avoid tripping and falling, Anna decides to run on the local track instead of the trail.

Now it’s your turn to assess your current or proposed routine. Complete the chart to see if you need to make any changes:

aGe beats Per minute (bPm)

Under 20 140-155

20-29 135-150

30-39 130-145

40 and over 125-140

Target heart rate chart for pregnancy

—Canadian Society for exercise Physiology, csep.ca

cHanGes i neeD to maKe:

“ Pregnancy is the time for fit women to maintain a healthy level of fitness and for beginners to ease into an active lifestyle.”

Print your fitness chart online at blushmom.com.

blushmom.com | 69

BEforE You BEginIf you had a vaginal birth, the Society of Obstetricians and Gynecologists of Canada (SOGC) recommends beginning an exercise routine once you feel rested. If you had a Caesarean birth, they recommend waiting at least six weeks and asking your health practitioner before starting. Once you are ready to ease back into muscular conditioning, aim for one to three sets of 10 to 15 repetitions, three days a week. Leave one day of rest between each workout.

The following exercises can be done with or without your baby. You’ll need a resistance band, door attachment for the resistance band, and a yoga mat.

2. Easy at-home fitness with your new babyUsing only a few low-cost pieces of fitness equipment you can target all major muscle groups without leaving the house. Add a daily power walk with baby and you have a complete routine.

WarMupPut on your favourite music and dance. Your baby will be entertained as you warm up all major muscle groups. ➳

{ your life }


plié squatsStand tall in an extra-wide stance and turn toes out slightly. Draw navel into spine and tilt pelvis under. Slowly bend your knees. Be sure that your knees are not going over your toes. Push up through your heel to activate your glutes on the way up.

Muscles targeted: gluteus maximus and minimus; adductors and abductors.

Benefits: tightens glutes and thighs; easily done while holding baby.

With baby: hold baby securely and close to your body.

push-upsBegin on your hands and knees. Place hands flat on the ground at shoulder level, slightly more than shoulder width apart. Keep knees under your hips or back farther, as in a plank position from the knees. engage your core as you slowly lower your chest toward the mat. Push back up to start position using your chest and shoulders.

Muscles targeted: pectoralis major and minor, anterior deltoids, and core.

Benefits: strengthens your baby-lifting muscles and flattens your abdomen.

With baby: position baby on the mat beneath you. Maintain eye contact and count out loud; baby will be counting with you in no time.

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stay Motivated» Schedule your workouts. even

better, schedule them for the same day and time each week.

» exercise to music. Program your favourite tunes into your music player, and you’ll work out harder and longer.

» Be accountable. Whether you check in with a friend or hire a personal trainer, you are more likely to stick to it if you are accountable to another person.

roWsAffix door attachment for resistance band to the middle door hinge. Loop the resistance band through the door attachment and hold one handle in each hand (see diagram). Stand in a staggered stance with arms extended forward at chest height. engage your core, and squeeze shoulder blades together.

Muscles targeted: mid-rhomboids, mid-trapezius, serratus anterior, and posterior deltoids.

Benefits: strengthens the mid-back for better posture and less back pain.

With baby: when incorporating baby, it is not safe to use the resistance band. Instead, put baby in a front carrier and do the same exercise without the band. The weight of your baby will provide enough resistance.

{ your life }


foLLoW-THE-LEADEr WArMupProtect your body from injury by warming up. Follow-the-leader is a fun and easy way to do just that. One person leads the other(s) around the play area while doing different body movements. Begin with small movements and progress to large body movements as you get warmer. Take turns being the leader. Young children move their bodies in a way that feels good without having to think about it. The result: a fabulous and fun warmup.

TrEE TAgThis game is a variation of frozen tag. Once someone has been tagged, they must balance in tree pose (standing on one leg with arms above head). To be freed, someone must run around you two times. It works best with four or more people.

Yogi sAYsThis is a more mindful version of Simon Says. Choose someone to be Yogi. If Yogi calls out, “Yogi says down dog” then everyone should go into the down dog yoga position. If Yogi does not say, “Yogi says,” then everyone

3. Fitness and fun with your little oneSpring is here. Chances are, you and your toddler are eager to venture outdoors. One of the best ways to incorporate exercise into your busy day is to play outside with your child. The laughter that ensues will do wonders for your spirit and your abs.

should ignore her. If someone follows Yogi’s instructions when they shouldn’t have, they sit down criss-cross apple sauce until Yogi has finished her turn. Since most tots won’t sit for long, the game is over after 10 poses.

This works best with four or more people but can be played with two.

CrAB rACEWhat better way to tone your glutes, core, shoulders, and triceps than with a good old-fashioned crab race? Begin by sitting on your bottom with your legs bent and feet on the ground. Place your hands close behind you with your fingers pointing toward your feet. Use your glutes, core, and shoulders to lift your bottom well off the ground. Get ready, set, go! The first crab to cross the finish line is the winner.

BALAnCE CHALLEngEChoose three balance poses and see who can hold them the longest. Use a timer for some healthy competition. Here are some suggestions: tree pose, airplane, and stork (standing on one leg and leaning forward with your arms out at your sides). b

3 TipS for developing gross Motor skills in toddlers

Move. The single most important thing you can do to encourage your toddler’s physical development is be active yourself.

get outside. The outdoors usually provides more opportunity for gross motor movement. This is especially true for families living in urban environments.

Ask. Does your child’s caregiver provide scheduled gross motor play? If not, ask them to include this important developmental activity at least twice a day.

meLanie osmacK founded Fit 4 Two Pre & Postnatal Fitness in Vancouver and is a mother of two young children.

blushmom.com | 73

“ The outdoors usually provides more opportunity for gross motor movement.”

{ your life }


Fighting the good fight when it comes to kids

Jenn Farrell

Clashcareg versof the

blushmom.com | 75

That’s the moment you realize this is going to be just the first in a series of conflicts about what’s best for your child.

Whatever the issue, whether binkies, bedtimes, or time-outs, chances are you and your partner are not always going to see eye to eye. And arguments can get heated when it’s the kids who are the topic of conversation. How can you keep these kinds of disagreements from escalating out of control?

four BAsiC sTYLEsMost childcare experts agree that each of us falls into one of four basic parenting styles. They are authoritarian, authoritative, permissive or indulgent, and uninvolved (but we doubt our readers are in any danger of that last one).

Parents from different styles are likely to have opposing views, feelings, and theories about how children should be raised and the role of the parent in shaping their lives. These opinions translate into real life and can often be seen in the realm of discipline. A permissive and an authoritarian, for example, are going to have very different ideas about what should occur if little Billy pushes another child at the playground.

Tamara Knott, a registered clinical counsellor in Vancouver, says that we learn how to parent from our own

It can start early, with something as simple as a pacifier. Maybe you’re opposed to them, but your husband thinks anything that soothes your baby is a good thing. You both make your points, convinced your opinion is the right

one. But neither of you wants to budge.families. “Those experiences shape our own parenting styles, as we tend to model the behaviours of our parents.”

Even parents with less-than-ideal childhoods, who have the best intentions with their own offspring, will have to work hard not to repeat those behaviours. “Often with these parents, we see a kind of inner conflict,” Knott says. “They’re trying to change habits formed in their own childhood, but they don’t have the role models for that behaviour.”

Ideally, new parents would discuss their child-rearing views ahead of time, but failing that, Knott recommends couples have a template for dealing with conflict as it arises. “Parents should get on the same page about how they’re going to communicate about these issues. Having a basis for solving future conflicts lays the groundwork for resolution.”

sTEp AWAY froM A ConfLiCTThis also means being prepared to step away from a heated conflict and reconvene to discuss the issue at a quieter time. Also, it’s important to observe that old adage about not fighting in front of the kids. Unless, says Knott, “you’re both in a place where you can negotiate successfully and calmly. That’s good role modelling,

and you’re teaching children about healthy conflict and resolution.”

So once everyone has cooled down and is ready to talk, what if you still don’t agree? It’s important to listen and really try to understand your partner’s point of view. You might discover that even though you have different methods, you’re both working toward the same result.

If teaching Billy not to hurt other kids is the ultimate goal, work together to find a method that works for everyone. Remain open to other approaches and remember that your partner is coming from a place of good intentions.

Not every disagreement will be easy to solve, but whatever the issue, it’s important for parents to present as a team. This means not undermining the views or decisions of the other parent in front of the children, and not allowing older kids to play one parent off the other.

sHArE THE DisCipLinEKnott also recommends that the tasks of discipline be evenly divided. “You want to avoid one person being all the fun and the other being all the discipline.” In other words, steer clear of that good-cop/bad-cop routine. Kids are experts at exploiting it to their advantage.

Of course, conflicts with a spouse or partner are just the beginning for ➳

{ your life }


taMara knott’s tips for resolving parental ConfliCt» Pick the best time to discuss

issues. Arrange a bit of quiet time, or plan ahead. If there are a number of conflicts that you know you need to discuss for the future, make a list and go through them together.

» Don’t focus on the argument at hand—focus instead on how the issue will affect your child. Ask yourself about the overall consequences for your family.

» Listen and really hear what your partner is saying about his or her side of an issue. even if you don’t agree, make an effort to understand.

» Agree to disagree sometimes. Finding a solution to a conflict doesn’t mean you can’t have a difference of opinion.

» Plan to enjoy leisure time as a couple, away from the pressures of work and family life. Use whatever support system you can to get a break and spend time together.

some families. Many moms find that grandparents can also be the source of some lively differences of opinion. Shannon and Gary live in Ottawa and have a young son, Matthew.* Both sets of Matthew’s grandparents are actively involved in his life, especially Shannon’s parents, who live nearby.

While Shannon is thrilled that Matthew gets to know his grandparents, she finds the older generation doesn’t always see things her way. “I get a sense that they were stricter, and that kids were kids and not to be taken too seriously in their whims and complaints, and that they weren’t so stressed about doing absolutely everything perfectly.”

Shannon says sometimes the grandparents find her and Gary’s focus on Matthew and their conscientiousness about him a bit silly. But what’s frustrating for Shannon is both grandmothers’ insistence that Matthew is “such a good boy” or “an angel,” even when he’s being challenging.

Shannon adores her son, but when he’s giving her a hard time, those comments feel like a dig at her own parenting skills. “Sometimes I’ll be an adult and talk to my mom after I’ve had time to calm down, and sometimes there’ll be a mini-explosion from me and we’ll all get very upset. But I think it gets okay in a day or two.”

A TiME To ConfronTIt’s not easy to confront your own parents or those of your partner, but these conflicts can also be addressed by talking about them at an appropriate time. Unlike disagreements with your partner, however, Knott says that grandparents and other family members must accept that parents are the ultimate decision makers for their kids.

“Some disagreements occur just because the rules have changed so much in the last 30 or 40 years. Things like certain safety measures, car seats … they weren’t around then, but they’re important and valuable changes, and parents have every right to make sure certain rules are followed.”

But when it’s not a life-or-death issue, sometimes the fine art of parenting comes down to choosing your battles. Maybe you don’t love it when your father takes your child out for an afternoon and gives her ice cream. Or your husband gets home late and gets the kids worked up with a tickle fight before bed.

You could get angry, or take a breath and decide what’s more important: having an argument or that your kids are happy and spending time with people they love? Sometimes, just letting go can feel as good as a win. b

Jenn FarreLL is a Vancouver writer and mother of a teenage daughter, which gives her all the conflict she needs.

*Names have been changed to protect privacy.

“ Each of us falls into one of four basic parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive or indulgent, and uninvolved.”

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{ your life }


Veggies-a-go-goJennifer Danter > Photographer, Scott Yavis > Food Stylist, Irene McGuinness

For most of us, getting our kids to eat—let alone eat healthier—is a nightly dance routine involving skill, sweet talk, and a little cunning. It takes some fancy footwork to get them to eat their veggies, plus introduce a few new ones, too.

To stay healthy, and maintain growth and general wellness, kids need the Fab Four. These essential nutrients—calcium, magnesium, potassium, and vitamin E—are found in an assortment of foods, including vegetables.

THE snEAK ‘n’ CHEATThe idea of disguising or hiding certain foods in the dishes you serve your children is a touchy debate. However, when kids just won’t eat a certain vegetable or refuse even to try it, going under the radar may be your last option.

The best way to hide difficult vegetables in a meal is to purée them into a dish kids already love. Often that’s beloved pasta or potatoes. Tomato sauce has a strong flavour on its own, so it can easily absorb a little nutrient-boosting carrot, squash, spinach, or sweet potato purée without dramatically altering flavour or colour.

Pale-coloured mashed potatoes or pasta dishes with white sauce can easily be bulked up, undetected,

dinnerthe dan�with cauliflower. Or add a mild blush to a white sauce with red or yellow pepper purée. Some vegetable purées also work well in baking (see “Beet These” Chocolate Cupcakes). Once the dish has become a routine favourite, do the big reveal and expose the veg in all its glory. sTrAigHT TALKWanting to know where our food comes from is a growing trend for adults and kids alike. Encouraging participation in grocery shopping and meal prep may encourage kids to try new foods.

Some studies have shown that kids choose healthier foods (and more vegetables) when the whole family eats together. Make kids want to eat their veggies by dressing them up with playful language. Colourful names and a little flight of fancy go a long way. Hidden Treasure Baked Fries (recipe page 81) may sound more interesting than Sweet Potato Fries to a five-year-old, for example. b

“ Wanting to know where our food comes from is a growing trend for adults and kids alike.”

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“Beet These” Chocolate CupcakesThese are a fun way to either sneak or introduce a healthy—but often difficult— vegetable to kids.

2 oz (60 g) dark chocolate 1/2 cup (125 ml) unsalted butter 1 cup (250 ml) all-purpose flour 3/4 tsp (4 ml) baking soda 1/4 tsp (1 ml) each baking powder and sea salt 3/4 cup (180 ml) brown sugar, lightly packed 1 egg 1/2 tsp (2 ml) vanilla extract 1 scant cup (240 ml) coarse beet purée* 1.Line muffin tin with paper cups. Preheat oven to 375 F (190 C).2. In double boiler or microwave, melt chocolate with 2 Tbsp (30 mL) butter. Stir until smooth. Set aside to cool slightly.3. Stir flour with baking soda, baking powder, and salt. 4. In separate bowl, beat remaining butter with sugar using an electric mixer, until well mixed. Beat in egg, then vanilla. Beat in beet purée, then chocolate. Don’t worry if mixture splits; it will come together later. Using spatula or wooden spoon, stir in flour mixture just until moistened.5. Divide batter among muffin cups, and bake in centre of oven until a toothpick inserted in centre comes out clean, about 30 minutes. Cool in tin for 5 minutes, then turn out and let cool completely on a wire rack.

Tangy Icing: Beat 4 oz (120 mL) spreadable cream cheese with 1 Tbsp (15 mL) soft butter and 1/4 tsp (1 mL) vanilla extract until smooth. Gradually beat in 1/2 cup (125 mL) icing sugar. Spread over cooled cupcakes.

MAKEs 10 To 12 CupCAKEs.

eacH cuPcaKe (incLuDinG icinG) contains:278 calories; 2 g protein; 14 g total fat (6 g sat. fat, 0 g trans fat); 26 g carbohydrates; 1 g fibre; 171 mg sodium

*to make beet purée, boil or roast whole beets. peel after cooking: use your hands to scrape off the skin easily. Whirl in a food processor until finely chopped. a slightly chunky texture versus a smooth purée is better. plan ahead and make extra to stash in the freezer until needed.

{ your life }


Bejewelled Pasta SauceA robust tomato sauce is an easy way to pack in extra veggies. This sauce stars five bright jewels—tomatoes, carrots, spinach, beets, and red pepper—that turn the noodles a pretty shade of pink.

1 tbsp (15 ml) olive oil 2 carrots, finely chopped 1 onion, chopped 2 garlic cloves, minced 2 - 28 oz (796 ml) cans whole plum tomatoes 1 small red bell pepper, seeded and finely chopped 1 tsp (5 ml) sea salt 2 to 3 cups (500 to 750 ml) baby spinach 1 small cooked beet, chopped (scant 1/2 cup/125 ml coarse purée) 1. Coat large saucepan with olive oil and set over medium heat. Add carrots and onion; sauté until softened, 8 to 10 minutes. Add garlic and cook until fragrant, 1 to 2 minutes. Stir in tomatoes with juice, red pepper, and salt.2. Bring to a boil then reduce heat. Partially cover and simmer 1 hour to develop flavour. Using potato masher, crush to form a chunky sauce.3. Whirl spinach and beet in food processor to chop coarsely. Add about 1/4 of sauce and whirl until well puréed. 4. Stir mixture back into sauce.

MAKEs 8 Cups (2 L).

eacH 1/2 cuP (125 mL) serVinG contains:38 calories; 1 g protein; 1 g total fat (0 g sat. fat, 0 g trans fat); 7 g carbohydrates; 2 g fibre; 102 mg sodium

purple poWerBeets are naturally low in calories and fat. They are a fibre powerhouse, rich in both soluble and

insoluble fibre, folic acid, calcium, and iron.

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Hidden Treasure Baked FriesA wealth of nutrients lie in these golden nuggets, but kids will love them for their vibrant flavour. For optimal browning, preheat a heavy-duty baking sheet in the oven while prepping. The fries will sizzle when added.

2 sweet potatoes 2 tbsp (30 ml) olive oil 1/4 tsp (1 ml) each sea salt, pepper, and garlic powder, mixed together

1. Preheat oven to 450 F (230 C). Meanwhile, place heavy-duty baking sheet in oven.2. Peel potatoes, if you wish. Slice potatoes lengthwise into 2 or 3 thick slices, and then cut each slice into thin french fry sticks.3. Place in large bowl and toss with oil. Sprinkle with salt mixture, and toss to coat evenly.4. Using oven mitts, remove hot baking sheet from oven. Carefully scatter fries on it. Bake until tender, 20 to 25 minutes. Turn fries over halfway through cooking.

MAKEs 4 sErVings.

eacH serVinG contains:116 calories; 1 g protein; 7 g total fat (1 g sat. fat, 0 g trans fat); 13 g carbohydrates; 2 g fibre; 60 mg sodium

House KetchupThis is lower in sugar and sodium than store-bought brands, has no chemicals, and contains a large amount of potassium.

1 - 28 oz (796 ml) can crushed tomatoes 1 onion, chopped 1 garlic clove, minced 1/2 tsp (2 ml) sea salt 1/2 tsp (2 ml) celery salt 1/2 cup (125 ml) cider vinegar 1/4 cup (60 ml) brown sugar 1/8 tsp (0.5 ml) each ground allspice and cloves 1 cinnamon stick

1. Place all ingredients in large heavy-bottomed saucepan or Dutch oven. Bring to a boil, then gently simmer until onions are very soft, about 1 hour. Cool slightly, then fish out cinnamon stick.2. Purée ketchup in food processor. For a smoother consistency, strain half the ketchup through a sieve, if you wish. (Tip: Use the bottom of a ladle in a circular motion to press through sieve.) 3. Return to saucepan and gently simmer, stirring often to prevent scorching, until mixture is thick, about 30 minutes. Ketchup will keep well, refrigerated, up to 3 weeks.

MAKEs 2 Cups (500 ML).

eacH 1 tbsP (15 mL) serVinG contains:15 calories; 0 g protein; 0 g total fat (0 g sat. fat, 0 g trans fat); 4 g carbohydrates; 0 g fibre; 77 mg sodium

JenniFer Danter is a freelance food writer, recipe developer, and food stylist. Her work has appeared in alive, Best Health, Chatelaine, Today’s Parent, Clean Eating, EAT, Oxygen, and TASTE.

“ A wealth of nutrients lie in these golden nuggets.”

find these great recipes and more at

blushmom.com.


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of TV are watched on average each day by preschoolers cared for in home-based daycare centres, according to a new study. When added to the two to three hours of at-home screen time, young children are watching about five hours of TV a day.

61%of Canadian two-year-olds were immunized against diphtheria, tetanus, polio, measles, mumps, and rubella (German measles) while coverage for whooping cough was 74 percent, according to the 2006 National Immunization Coverage Survey. The federal government recently set immunization targets for 2010, including 97 percent for German measles and 95 percent vaccination rate for whooping cough.

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SPRING 2010 spring

TOP 3 prenatal cardio exercises

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the vaccination dilemma:

risks versus benefi ts

Are you

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Blush #4, Spring 2010

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Transcript of Blush #4, Spring 2010