8/7/2019 bitter friendship

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Dear Joe,

I'm a senior HS student of UST and I must tell you, it's hard with World History, Physics andeverything. I'm perfectly happy with my life now except for this one problem that I'd like to askyour advise for.

I have this childhood bestfriend named Jeff. We're together since we're babies. We're even bornat the same hospital with the same doctor. We had so much fun together. At the age of 6-9 wealways played family computer in their house, climb trees, bathe their dog and share stories. At9-13, Jeff was growing up to be a handsome guy....and so he was a "crush ng bayan". And Iknew I was just so simple and ordinary in his eyes to be his girl....but we're friends. A lot of girlsactually envy me because they think there's really something going between us, but we're justfriends and that's all.

Everyday at dismissal time (school)...he asks our school bus driver to bring us home last co'z hewould tell stories about what happened that day. And he even let's me read his letters from hissecret admirers. I even became a bridge to the girl he was courting which was at OK at first butas time went by...I was becoming jealous because maybe I was starting to fall for him. I couldsay that those times of my life were the best because of him.

One day, I did this outrageously dumb thing that really stained our relationship--We were talkingon the phone and I asked him how his lovelife was (I forgot why that topic was opened) and who'shis latest crush. At first...he didn’t want to tell me... He kept on saying.. "Ayoko nga! Nakakahiyaeh." But then I insisted...." honestly, who's your crush?" and he said "Sige na nga sasabihin kona.....YOU! " That single word caused my heart to do flipflops! I cannot believe him...I mean...of all those other beautiful girls...he chose me?! And because of so much happiness.. I blurted outall my feelings for him. I told him I really like him too and I told him those silly things that I did justto be close to him like borrowing his notebooks just to see him and asking for assignments just tohear his voice. He asked me then if I could be his girl then I said yes and we agreed not to tellanybody. After that, we hung up. I was so happy after that and I was lost in my own world thinkingof only him the whole night. The next day, I called him up to say hi and he told me that what wetalked about last night was nothing and that he just wanted to see my reaction. Joe, I was so hurtand confused. I shouldn't have told him how I felt....It just ruined our good friendship...butreally...he sounded sincere that night. Oh! I DON'T KNOW! What's more confusing is that hegave me flowers on Valentines day and I didn't know the reason why. For almost 2 and a half years, we pretended that each of us didn’t exist. All was gone...all that weshared when we were still young were wasted. But just this past week... he seemed friendly. He'sgiving me mixed signals. I know I shouldn't waste time with a guy who doesn't act as though heloves me, but as hard as I tried to forget him and like someone else, he's still the one I love. I'mstill young and I would be able to wait. But the question is...Is he worth waiting? And if I wait for him, what if he really means I'm nothing to him.

Please help me. Your advise would really mean a lot to me. Thanks alot for taking time to readmy letter and I hope your program will be more successful than it already is. Thanks again!

Truly yours,Sam

8/7/2019 bitter friendship

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Joes Notes

Dear Sam,

When we like someone so much we develop this inclination to interpret that person’s actions in avery positive way. We even give the smallest gesture so much meaning which, in return, givesus a better reason to like him even more. Sam, you could have been all the things that best friends could ever be but there was still a line that separated you from being more than just friends.

Jeff was probably telling you the truth when he explained that what happened that blissful night was just nothing and was only meant to show how you would react. More so, the flowers he gaveyou could have a thousand meanings . He could have had regrets in making you believe insomething he never felt for you so he gave those flowers as a peace offering, his way of saying sorry. But the again, it could only mean love in the remotest possibility. You may see it differently but I guess there was nothing to it than just plain apology.

Sam, don’t be sorry you openly expressed your feelings. It was better than keeping it to yourself and not knowing what he truly felt. At least you know where you stand and hopefully not never expect anything beyond what he can offer.

Sam , you are still young , but don’t wait until you to realize that you mean nothing to him. Healready made you see and feel that and there’s no point wasting your time waiting for a gooseegg. If you can never go beyond friendship then just let it be. Don’t push it because you will only be driving your friendship down the cliff where it will stay never to return again.

Sam, believe me, Jeff isn’t the last man you would fall in love with. Love dies in our hearts but it can grow again if we learn to accept our destiny and give time a chance to heal our wounds. Let us always remember that we cannot always have everything we want. We are blessed when wefind love but we should still be thankful when we loose it for what are denied of are things not 

meant for us and what we have been given are the ones destined forever.

Joe