Trenz Pruca 24 September 2014

New poetry feature

Close Readings

ONLINE PROGRAMS FOR EDITING YOUR WORK - REVIEWED

Plus short fiction, book reviews and more

Issue five Spring

BibliophiliaISSUE FIVE

MARCH 2015

ISSUE FIVE - MARCH 2015

PAGE ONE

NEXT ISSUE!!

April brings with it Lent, and a time for us to give us those vices we could live without. Considering this we have decided our theme for our next issue will be

GUILTY PLEASURES

As always we welcome adventurous and unusual takes on the theme. Please follow our submission guidelines and make sure your contribution is with us in plenty of time to

be included.

Submission Guidelines

Our guidelines are few and simple. We want to make it as easy for you to submit to us as possible and want to make our rules (such as they are) easy to follow. So here’s all you need to know:

‣ All submissions must be sent to bibliophilia@outlook.com by the 20th of the month to appear in the next month’s issue.

‣ All submissions must be sent as a pdf or word attachment, with your name, your pen name (if different), a short author bio (no more than 50 words) and your twitter name/blog address in the email body.

‣ Short fiction can be no longer than 2,000 words, with the words ‘fiction submission’ as the subject of the email. Longer submissions will be considered on a case by case basis.

‣ Poetry can be no longer than 40 lines, with the words ‘poetry submission’ as the subject of the email. Up to three poems can be sent together. Longer submissions will be considered on a case by case basis.

‣ Features can be no longer than 1,500 words; proposals must be sent in the first instance with the words ‘features proposal’ as the subject of the email. Longer submissions will be considered on a case by case basis.

‣ All submissions must be sent via email - we do not accept snail mail submissions at this time.

Copyright ©2015 by Bibliophilia MagazineAll prose and poetry rights are reserved by the contributing authors. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior

written permission of the individual author.

ISSUE FIVE - MARCH 2015

It’s a small but perfectly formed magazine we bring to you this month, for a variety of

reasons. Your favourite features are still inside, but we have less input from other sources.

We always welcome submissions, whether they are poetry, short fiction, features or reviews. Get in contact with us via Twitter or email (our details are just opposite).

There’s also lots of opportunity to be our featured artist. As well as your work throughout the magazine we will feature your on our website.

For now, enjoy our latest offering.

Mac

PAGE TWO

A NOTE FROM THE

EDITOR

Regular Features NEW POETRY CLOSE

READING FEATURE PAGE 15

OUR BOOK OF THE MONTH REVIEWED

PAGE 11

PROGRAMS FOR EDITING YOUR WORK

ONLINE PAGE 5

Submission guidelines and next month’s theme Page 1

From the Editor and Contents Page 2

Our Contributors Page 3

Our guide to the best editing programs Page 5

’See What You Want To See’ flash fiction Page 8

What We’re Doing Page 9

Book of the Month Page 11

Prompts Page Page 13

‘The Ecchoing Green’ close reading Page 15

Tearable Puns Page 18

Follow us on Twitter: @bibliophiliamag

bibliophiliamag.wordpress.com

Contents

ISSUE FIVE - MARCH 2015

Our Regulars Natasha McGregor - Editor

Having written various genres since she was a teenager Natasha is enjoying the latest challenge that is editing Bibliophilia. She is also working on her first full length novel and writing a collection of poetry.

Twitter: @Natasha2Mc

http://natasha2mcgregor.wordpress.com

Richard Southworth - Literary Reviewer

Following prolific but not terribly original writing as a child, Richard got back into proper writing in 2009 by competing in National Novel Writing Month. He currently has eight NaNoWriMo victories under his belt, in addition to writing book reviews and the occasional short story.

Twitter: @PneRichard

http://velociraptor256.wordpress.com/

Josie Alford - Features Writer

Josie is 21 and lives in Bristol after finishing a degree in English Literature. She writes poetry and is saving money for a masters in creative writing. Her blog is full of all of her poetry and she aims to get into more performance poetry – follow her on twitter for updates!

Twitter: @AlfordJmo

http://thefaultymanufacturing.blogspot.co.uk

E"eMay - Features Writer

Elle May lives in Lancashire but her heart is travelling around the world. She lives with her parents, sister, and any visitors who extend their stay. She spends her days quietly thinking or loudly voicing her profound thoughts hoping someone will understand what she is saying.

http://masiejane.wordpress.com/

PAGE THREE

Editor

Literary Reviewer

Features Writer

Features Writer

CONTRIBUTORS A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE WORDS

ISSUE FIVE - MARCH 2015

Guest Writers

Anna Nazarova-Evans - Flash Fiction

Anna has completed two writing courses at the Folk House, Bristol. She was also successful in writing 50,100 words for NanoWrimo in November 2014. She lives in Bristol with her husband and cat.

Twitter: @AnitchkaNE

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE FOR US - WE ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM POETRY TO SHORT FICTION TO FEATURES - THEN GET IN TOUCH VIA

BIBLIOPHILIA@OUTLOOK.COM

MAKE SURE YOU CHECK OUT OUR SUBMISSION GUIDELINES ON PAGE ONE TO GIVE YOURSELF THE BEST CHANCE OF BEING PUBLISHED

PAGE FOUR

ISSUE FIVE - MARCH 2015

WRITE NOW WITH… After spending the Winter months ensconced in your fantastical world of words and flights of imagination it’s time for a spring clean. But your house will have to wait, it’s time to spring clean all those first drafts cluttering up your computer’s hard drive and gathering dust on your desk.

To help you with this daunting task Elle May has tested online writing editors EditMinion.com and ProWritingAid.com.

EditMinion is a robotic copy editor created by Dr Wicked at prod.uctivity.com, (the fiendish inventor of Write or Die, a program which disemvowels your manuscript if you don’t reach your word goal in a set time limit). I like to research backgrounds to the writing programs I review but Dr Wicked remains an enigma. So far I’ve discovered his ultimate goal is to create horrible consequences for not writing, ‘Thus Instilling Writers with Fear and Productivity’.

Compared to other creations by Dr Wicked, EditMinion looks friendly. It checks your writing for weak words, passive voice, prepositions, homonyms, clichés, and dialogue attributions. It also packs an Adverbinator, a device which seeks out

adverbs for destruction. And, for unknown reasons, it underlines words with Greek, Latin or Germanic origins. All these features can be switched on or off making it easy for you to customise the editing process.

Editminion is still in Beta form so it has limitations, try to edit too much text in one go and it will crash. I tried 4000 words without any issues. Also there’s no function to alter, export or print your text once Editminion has finished its analysis.

Editing is daunting and I never know where to begin, I

dislike criticism even when constructive and justified, and I will argue with inanimate objects as well as with human beings. EditMinion does not offer alternative suggestions or in depth explanations. It highlights any problems with a different bright colour. Its cold and calculated analysis does not invite argument. And you

PAGE FIVE

EditMinion does not offer alternative suggestions or in depth explanations. Its

cold and calculated analysis does not invite

argument.

ISSUE FIVE - MARCH 2015

cannot ignore the fact that half of your text is now highlighted in bright pink and luminous green. You must edit.

Prowritingaid looks more professional and less fun than EditMinion. It gives a more in depth analysis of your writing. As well as basic grammar it also checks for long, sticky and repeated sentences, repeated words or phrases, and writing style. Designed by Orpheus Technology, it’s for serious people who want to do some serious editing.

The free version is available online when you sign up for a free account. It’s easy to use but has limited access to its features. ProWritingAid Premium has three price plans, $35 (£23) for 1year, $55 (£36) for 2 years, $70 (£46) for 3 years, and a lifetime subscription for $120 (£79). With Premium you can download an add-on for Word and Google docs, making it easier to edit as you go. There are different analysis modes for different forms of writing, from creative to business. And you can create combo reports which will highlight a whole range of issues within your written document.

I used the free version of ProWritingAid and EditMinion to analyse a short story I needed to edit, the results were much the same. ProWritingAid

pointed out extra issues because of its additional features. Editminion was of the opinion that some words weren’t doing their job even though ProWritingAid thought they were just fine. Both programs weren’t

particular about punctuation. ProWritingAid is obsessed with commas and EditMinion chooses to ignore all punctuation marks. I removed the full stops from my short story but

neither program noticed, although ProWritingAid mentioned my sentences were too long.

The Premium version add-on for Word was slow to download and I had to restart my computer twice. The download also disabled my word counter. I tried Premiums combo report using all of its editing features. It highlighted a large portion of my story in various colours, mostly red. This was a bad omen. After ten minutes of agonising despair I decided not to erase the entire file. The report was only a computer programs opinion - a computer program with no soul! The Premium version can also check your writing for plagiarism. I checked my story and it came back with zero issues. No one has ever written anything this terrible.

ProWritingAid is a thorough editing

PAGE SIX

Designed by Orpheus Technology,

Prowritingaid is for serious people who want to do some serious editing.

ISSUE FIVE - MARCH 2015

program, EditMinion is more fun. If I had to choose between the two it would depend on my mood. Both programs are excellent at pointing out problems with your first draft when you don’t know where to begin. One thing I have learned is a copyeditor is essential whether it’s an impartial human or a soulless robot. The latter is a good starting point but a competent human editor would give something in their feedback that a computer can’t - encouragement not to give up on a good idea.

Next month Elle May will be looking at ebook programs Fastpencil and CreateSpace.

Editminion ProWritingAid (free)

Ease of use 5 - Simple copy and paste into the box and hit the ‘edit’ button

4 - Copy and paste in box, going through the list of issues is time consuming

Visual 5 - I think the little monster minion is cute but that’s a matter of opinion

3 - Issues are listed in an orderly fashion but at first glance it can be overwhelming

Download speed

4 - No download is available but the editing analysis is quick

3 - The premium download is slow and caused problems for my Word program. Analysis is slow as well

Features 3 - Basic grammar editing 5 - It will analyse all grammar issues

Technobabble 5 - Very simple instructions 5 - Very simple instructions

Instruction manual

There isn’t one as it isn’t needed

3 - The instruction manual is 75 pages long, but it is also in large print

Overall 4 - It may not be a thorough editor but it makes editing fun

4 - Even though it gave me a headache it was a thorough editor

PAGE SEVEN

ISSUE FIVE - MARCH 2015

See What You Want To See by Anna Nazarova-Evans

“What on earth is in that bag?” I said. It was a large, woven, open-top handbag with long hard handles. The old lady held it close to her side and, every time the bus made a sharp turning, she squeezed it harder. Both my grandparents had died unexpectedly within three months of each other. It seemed to me that this granny, the smell of her lavender perfume and something in her purse, held the explanation to my grandparents' sudden departure. “What bag, Becky?” Tim asked. He'd just failed another interview and was looking longingly at the suits and ties rushing down the street at this early hour. I couldn't help but try to look into the handbag over the old lady's shoulder. A guy with a briefcase sitting on the fold down seat was watching her with the same curiosity as me. He looked away when he caught my eye. As the bus went over a bump something sparkled in the depth of the bag and at this my mind was made up. “It must be an urn,” I whispered to Tim. “Huh?” he replied. “An urn with her husband's ashes. She must be coming back from the mortuary... Or maybe she always carries them around. They were probably very close.” Tim looked annoyed. The driver had turned up the heating, which prompted Tim to fan himself down with a copy of the Metro he'd found on the seat. “Of course she doesn't carry her dead husband around, what a stupid thing to say,” he whispered back. The guy with the briefcase seemed to be concentrating hard on the dust on the floor. What if he’s trying to make out what we’re saying? I thought to myself. As if aware of everyone's interest in her handbag, the old lady held it to her chest and hugged it with both arms. “What do you think is in it then?” I asked Tim. He shrugged his shoulders. “Money of course, what else?” I imagined the woman going to the bank to pick up the last of her husband’s pen-sion after his death, but that scene didn’t feel real to me. Why would they give her cash? I thought. The granny got up at the bus stop. “Let’s get off here,” Tim said. “It’s too hot. We can walk the rest of the way.” I’d made a few scurried steps behind the old lady on the way to the exit, bag on her shoulder, when the man with the briefcase sneezed so loud that it made me jump. I must have knocked the bag, as it fell to the floor with its contents spilling at my feet. I heard Tim sigh behind me, as the man with the briefcase jumped down from his seat to help collect the imaginary jewels.

PAGE EIGHT

ISSUE FIVE - MARCH 2015

The beginning of a new season is always appreciated - a change of scenery brings with it fresh energy and ideas. Here's what's putting a spring in our contributors' steps this month.

Richard

I’m refreshing my old NaNoWrimo vampire novel,

starting by making sure I have every detail of the

surrounding universe sorted: that means filling a few

interesting gaps in things like vampire biology and

lifestyle. I’m also going volunteering abroad in a few

months’ time, which should give me a few more things

to write about!

Elle May

My social season starts with spring and I'm emerging from my winter cocoon like a butterfly. My energy levels my drop, and my writing my stall, but I meet some very interesting and very odd characters. Coupled with unusual situations and the stories write themselves.

Josie

As I write this it is payday, it’s a Friday and my boyfriend and I are sat in our flat waiting for our takeaway and watching Battlestar Galactica. It is nights like this that put a spring in my step, knowing I have the whole weekend ahead of me to work on my own project and not have to worry about work.

PAGE NINE

Mac

Living in the Lake District

Spring is something

completely different to me

this year. Seeing all the

little lambs bouncing

around the fields has given

me a spring in my own step,

and I’ve got stuck back into

editing my first novel and

writing more poetry.

Anna

Spring 2015 is the season to

be inspired. I have already

been writing, drawing and

submitting at every given

opportunity, but there are

plenty more things to come

to fuel my creative elves

besides the soaring

temperature and the build

up towards summer, like my

long trip to Russia in April,

my best friend’s wedding in

May and my husband's

birthday!

WHAT WE'RE DOING

ISSUE FIVE- MARCH 2015

Clay by Melissa Harrison

Published by Bloomsbury, RRP £7.99 ISBN 9781408842556

Spring is just around the corner,

and while some of us simply

appreciate the warmer

temperatures and not having to

set out for work in the dark,

none of us can ignore the

increasing activity of the natural

world: birds in our gardens,

lambs in the fields, and green

buds appearing once more on

the trees. From reading Melissa

Harrison’s debut novel, Clay, there can be

no doubt that she is a real nature lover, and

wants to share that love with everyone who

reads her book. Does she succeed?

Absolutely – but whether that makes a

good novel is a more difficult question.

Clay takes place over roughly a

year, from autumn to summer. As the

natural cycle runs its course, we follow the

lives of a number of characters: Polish

emigrant Jozef, troubled child TC, and

Sophia, an old woman trying to instil her

own appreciation of nature in her young

granddaughter Daisy. Their

neighbourhood is centred around a park

featuring a wide range of wildlife; this

place, and other wild areas that the

characters encounter, are frequently just as

prominent as the

characters

themselves.

The story

itself is very difficult

to define, even

though the

characters do make

decisions, take

actions, and change

throughout. TC,

who prefers to spend time in the park

rather than at home or school, forms a

friendship with Jozef – of course, adult-

child friendships aren’t looked on too

fondly these days, which the novel is well

aware of. Sophia’s relationship with her

family also goes back and forth, as does

their enthusiasm for her view of the world.

But such developments feel very low-key

and it’s hard to tell where events could be

leading; nothing that could be described as

dramatic occurs until towards the end. And

while the characters are certainly diverse,

PAGE TEN

Book Of The Month

Richard Southworth reviews Harrison’s nature loving novel set in a seemingly

idyllic location

The story itself is very difficult to define, even though the characters

do make decisions, take actions, and

change throughout

ISSUE FIVE- MARCH 2015

and their different thoughts are effectively

conveyed through the prose (TC and Daisy

naturally don’t think with quite the same

vocabulary as the adult characters), they

don’t really come across as very interesting.

A lot of the time, Clay really feels

like bland characters set against a very

detailed background, with the story taking

a back seat to the natural world itself.

There can be no doubt that the

descriptions in this book are brilliant.

Wherever the story takes us, all the details

are included, down to the birdsong and

grass growing up through gaps in the

concrete. There’s a constant appreciation

of colour, with a general sense of greyness

in the autumn chapters, turning lighter in

winter, and naturally more vivid and varied

with spring. Melissa Harrison is clearly

very knowledgeable too: there’s so much

detail regarding British animals and plants

that it may well inspire you to get out to

your nearest wild spot yourself.

Nature plays a central role in the

story; the characters’ perspectives on

nature form a strong part of their

motivations. Some gain a greater

appreciation of it, or are even practically

consumed by their passion. In just about

every scene, the character who’s narrating

devotes at least some attention to the world

around them. Philosophical thoughts

about the hidden corners of the world we

often don’t see are certainly interesting,

though sometimes they feel a bit too deep

for the given character. Though, to its

credit, the story avoids clichés often seen in

this subject area. Depictions of the

destruction of nature are generally

avoided; when some workmen turn up in

the park with a digger, it’s to lay down a

new flower bed. And at one point where

the sanctuary of the park is spoiled

somewhat, it’s not in a traditional way. If

Clay promotes conservation, it’s done

positively, highlighting how lovely nature

is rather than how bad it is to destroy it.

As a celebration of nature, Clay is

very well done – but as an actual novel, it

sadly falls short. The story and the

characters just aren’t compelling enough to

really hold your attention, and the ending

is dissatisfying without seeming to resolve

much. It feels like Melissa Harrison just

really wanted to write about nature in

some capacity, which is certainly a good

thing – but if you’re going with a novel

format, you need more than compelling

descriptions. Still, if you’re a nature lover

who’s going to be keeping a close eye on

the bird-table this spring, Clay is at least

worth a look.

PAGE ELEVEN

ISSUE FIVE - MARCH 2015

PAGE TWELVE

Have you hit a dead end? Or just need some new ideas?

Look no further - just choose an image, quote or exercise from the page and start writing. Try experimenting with a form you

don’t usually write in.

Prompts Page

First line:

‘Do you even know how to

drive?’

During a circus number, a

magician turns everyone into llamas. But he

can’t turn them back…

ISSUE FIVE - MARCH 2015

PAGE THIRTEEN

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.Leo Tolstoy

Even the beech tree from next door which shares its shadow with me, seemed a kind of threat. Everything was too neat, and someone cares in the wrong way. Elizabeth Jennings from ‘In A Garden’

ISSUE FIVE - MARCH 2015

The Ecchoing Green by William Blake

A Close Reading by Josie Alford Hello lovely readers, I’m doing something a little different this month: a close

reading of a poem which according to the Dictionary of Literary Terms and Literary Theory by J.A. Cuddon is a “detailed, balanced and rigorous critical examination of a text to discover its meanings and assess its effects.” I can only hope I have done

a good enough job and you find it interesting to read.

When you mention spring, most people will think about nature; of bees, baby animals frolicking through green fields and flowers. William Blake’s The

Ecchoing Green is one of the many poems that includes the pastoral imagery of spring and uses it as a metaphor. It’s from his collection Songs of Innocence and

Experience: Showing the Two Contrary States

of the Human Soul, which was released as a full collection in 1789. Blake engraved, illustrated and even printed the first few copies himself - the poems were fully rounded works of art through song, poetry and paintings. The two supposedly antithetical states of humanity are explored in both halves of the collection, along with opposing themes such as childhood and adulthood, nature and industry and poverty and wealth. The Ecchoing Green comes from the Songs of Innocence; it arguably takes place over the course of a day and explores the relationship between childhood and adulthood. The poem consists of three ten-

line stanzas which contribute to the beginning, middle and end structure of the story. It is made up of a series of rhyming couplets; the simplicity of such reflects the almost childish nature of the poem. The anapaestic rhythm of two unstressed syllables followed by a stressed syllable gives the poem a racing songlike tone which is reflected throughout the collection as a whole. The speaker is youthful and includes themselves amongst the children of the piece as opposed to the “old folk”. Firstly, the poem begins with the sun rising and the beginning of the day. In rising the sun “makes happy the skies” and sets the tone for most of the rest of the poem. The happy skies are a symptom of spring and a symbol of youth; they contrast to later in the poem and the “darkening green” at the end of the day. Interestingly the rest of the stanza is concerned with describing the sound of the scene – the “merry bells ring” and “the birds of the bush / sing louder around”. This is a

PAGE FOURTEEN

ISSUE FIVE - MARCH 2015

further example of how Blake constructs a complete work of art; not just the images of his paintings or the imagery within his description but also the musical aspect to his poetry. The poems are called songs, and he vividly creates aural imagery with his descriptions. The first eight lines serve to construct a resplendent background to the children’s sports which “shall be seen / On the Ecchoing Green.” It is possible to argue that the children’s sport is a metaphor for the game of life as it were and the “Ecchoing Green” is the stage for it. The title is repeated twice in the poem at the end of the first two stanzas. The form mirrors the content as the phrase is literally echoed throughout the piece. Arguably the reason the green is described as echoing is to represent how this scene of youthful play is repeated with each generation. The second stanza concerns the adults of the piece. “Old John with white hair / does laugh away care”; the word “care” arguably denotes the worries associated with adulthood. If this is true then the speaker insinuates that laughter is the cure for “care” – a way to recapture youth perhaps? The “old folk” are sat under an oak tree, the oak is a symbol of age: it does not echo like the green because it does not need to, it is older and has seen many generations of youth come and go. But it also serves as a pastoral link between the adults sat under it and the children on the green. The speaker says the adults

“laugh at our play”, this is an example of the speaker mothering the adults and therefore identifying with the children. However it could also be argued that the children’s play is a way for the old folk to rid themselves of care, like Old John. The adults are reminded of their own

youthful play “soon they all say / Such, such were the joys / When we all, girls & boys”, the joys they had when they were children are echoed through the new generation. The echoing motif is furthered with the repetition of “such” which also emphasises the nostalgia for their childhood “joys”. Interestingly, each time the green is mentioned it is rhymed with “seen”; the

symbol of youth is linked with being observed. Or rather, in order for the adults to echo their own youth they need to relive it through the youthful play they observe on the “Ecchoing Green”. The third and final stanza concerns the end of the day when “the little ones weary / No more can be merry”. These two lines are just a half rhyme which breaks convention with the majority of the poem, serving to draw attention to the fact that being “weary” and being “merry” are two antithetical states. This furthers the main theme of the whole collection – contrary states; innocence and experience and in the case of “The Echoing Green”, youth and age. The rest of the stanza creates a symmetry with the start of the poem: the sun descends as it rose in the first stanza, and the tired children are described “like

PAGE FIFTEEN

ISSUE FIVE - MARCH 2015

birds in their nest” similarly to the “birds of the bush” in the first stanza. However each of these images is concerned with endings, serving as a metaphor for how the speaker’s youth is also coming to an end. Their sport is “no more seen / on the darkening green”, the speaker disrupts the repetition of “echoing” and replaces it with darkening; not only does this reflect the end of the day but also dramatically announces the end of their youthful games. It is possible to argue that the speaker is referring only to his generation’s sport coming to an end, that the process will be repeated when the next generation comes along. On the other hand, I would argue that the speaker genuinely thinks that the sport will never return to the forever darkened green due to the lack of pronouns. The speaker does not say that “our” sport has gone but sport in general. This in turn shows the speaker’s innocence or ignorance that they believe that because their youth is over, youth or spring will not happen again. So then, like the collection as a whole this poem seems simple on the surface – almost like a nursery rhyme. But upon closer inspection it is much more complex, dealing with many layers of themes and symbolism. The form is used to reflect the sentiment of the poem by repeating words to emphasise points; the word “such” slows down the rhythm of the line and lengthens the adult’s nostalgia. The speaker mourns his ending youth but masks it behind what seems to be a light-hearted pastoral poem about spring.

The Ecchoing Green

The Sun does arise, And make happy the skies. The merry bells ring, To welcome the Spring, The sky-lark and thrush, The birds of the bush, Sing louder around, To the bells cheerful sound, While our sports shall be seen On the Echoing Green.

Old John with white hair Does laugh away care, Sitting under the oak, Among the old folk. They laugh at our play, And soon they all say, Such, such were the joys, When we all, girls & boys, In our youth time were seen, On the Echoing Green.

Till the little ones weary No more can be merry The sun does descend, And our sports have an end: Round the laps of their mothers, Many sisters and brothers, Like birds in their nest, Are ready for rest: And sport no more seen, On the darkening Green.

PAGE SIXTEEN

ISSUE FIVE - MARCH 2015

PAGE SEVENTEEN

TEARABLE PUNSIf you have a bad pun you think should be shared with the world, send it to us! Email

us at bibliophilia@outlook.com with ‘Tearable Puns’ as the title.

I made a belt out of w

atches today It w

as a complete w

aist of time

I’ll tell you about leaving vinyl behind O

ff the record

You can’t joke with a kleptom

aniac They take everything literally

Maths puns

The first sine of madness

I used to be addicted to soap It’s ok - I’m

clean now

I have a new job at a bird sanctuary

Don’t know

what I’m

doing, so I’m w

inging it

Renewable energy

I’m a big fan

Tried Wookie steak last night

It was a little chew

ie

I used to have a fear of hurdles I got over it