Beyond Success - iEQUIP.Church · About John C. Maxwell .....48 Beyond Success ROUNDTABLES. 2 A...

Beyond Success

ROUNDTABLES

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A Message from John C. Maxwell ......................................................................................................... 2

The Six Keys to Success 1. Attitude: The World You See is Colored by Your Attitude .......................................................... 3 2. Personal Growth: People Who Keep Learning Always Have a Future ........................................ 6 3. Integrity: Living with Integrity Leads to a Life of Wholeness ...................................................... 9 4. Priorities: Clear Priorities Show You What to Do and Where to Go.......................................... 12 5. Work Ethic: Working Hard Brings Inner Satisfaction Every Day ................................................ 15 6. Relationships: The Quality of Your Relationships Determines the Quality of Your Life .......... 18

Bonus: My Most Important Relationship by John C. Maxwell .................................................. 21

Intentional Living – The Bridge to Significance 7. Intentional Living: The Lifestyle of Successful People ................................................................ 24 8. Intentional Living: You Can Make Your Life a Great Story ........................................................ 27 9. Intentional Living: Putting Your Purpose into Action ................................................................ 30 10. Intentional Living: Everyday Essentials for Living a Life of Significance ................................... 33 11. Intentional Living: Start Sharing Your Story to Encourage Others............................................ 36 12. Intentional Living: Leading Your Own Roundtable Group ........................................................ 39

New Roundtable Group Worksheet .................................................................................................... 42

The Roundtable Method of Growth ................................................................................................... 43

Facilitation Tips .................................................................................................................................... 46

A Script for Your First Roundtable ...................................................................................................... 47

About John C. Maxwell ........................................................................................................................ 48

Beyond Success

ROUNDTABLES

2

A Message from John C. Maxwell

Dear Friend,

What do you want out of life?

In my four decades of working with people and striving to add value to them, I’ve come to believe that deep down, everyone wants to be successful, live a life of purpose, and make a difference.

Does that describe you? If so, these roundtable lessons will help you. They have been designed to add value to you, help you become more successful, and start you on a road that goes even beyond success.

For the next twelve weeks, you will have an opportunity to discuss subjects that are keys to success, such as integrity, priorities, attitude, and relationships. You’ll also have a chance to learn about and discuss intentional living, which I have discovered to be the bridge to a life of significance.

All of these lessons are presented in a roundtable format, where every person has the opportunity to participate on “level ground.” The facilitator who’s leading the group isn’t a teacher or coach. He or she is simply a fellow learner. Together, you and the other members of the group will explore where you can grow, and each of you will set your own goals.

Mahatma Gandhi advised us to be the change we want to see in the world. If I want my home, my workplace, my community, or my country to be better, then I need to become better. We do that by becoming intentional about improving ourselves. And one of the best benefits is that it puts us in a place to add value to others.

So, I want to welcome you into an exciting process. If you are willing to talk honestly in these meetings and are open to positive change, you will be amazed at what can happen in only twelve weeks. And you also will be encouraged by the positive impact you can make on others. Thank you for making an investment in yourself and others.

Your friend,

John C. Maxwell

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INSIGHT

Directions: Take turns reading the paragraphs below. As you read, underline the ideas that capture your attention.

When you think of attitude, what comes to mind? You may not be able to easily define attitude, but you know a good or a bad one when you see it.

Your attitude colors every aspect of your life. It is like the mind’s paintbrush. It can paint everything in bright, vibrant colors—creating a masterpiece. Or it can make everything dark and dreary. If you look at the lives of people in any profession who achieve lasting success, you will find that they almost always possess a positive outlook on life.

Having a positive attitude is essential. It not only determines your level of contentment as a person, but it also has an impact on how others interact with you.

To learn more about what it means to be positive, think about these things:

Your Attitude is a Choice You Make. Average people want to wait for someone else to motivate them. They are tempted to believe that their circumstances are responsible for the way they think and feel. In reality, attitude is always a choice. In fact, while we can’t control many of our circumstances, we can always control our attitudes. And choosing a positive attitude makes any circumstances look better. When you choose your attitude, you are taking control of an important aspect of your life, rather than just letting life control you.

Your Attitude Affects Your Outlook. When you choose to focus on the positive in your surroundings, you tend to see more positive things. Choosing a positive attitude about your current situation enables you to see future circumstances in a positive light. Your attitude at this moment colors your perspective both now and in the future.

Your Attitude Precedes Your Actions. Actions are always an outward expression of your inner feelings. The way you feel about a given circumstance or situation will impact the way you react to it. When you change how you feel, you change how you act. By choosing a positive attitude, you make it easier for you to choose positive actions. And this often leads to a positive outcome.

ATTITUDE The World You See is Colored by

Your Attitude

“Attitude is the difference maker! Attitude isn’t everything, but it is one thing that can make a difference in your life.”

– John C. Maxwell

R O U N D T A B L E 1

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ROUNDTABLE 1 - ATTITIUDE

Your Attitude Enhances Your Relationships. Your attitude regarding people will impact your relationships with them. If you start with a negative attitude about a person, you will tend to focus on all of their negative qualities. A positive attitude about a person causes you to focus on their positive qualities. By choosing to see someone in a positive light, you will act toward them in a positive manner. They will usually respond in kind.

Your Attitude Alters Your Outcomes. In his book, The Winning Attitude, John C. Maxwell states, “Our attitude at the beginning of a task will affect its outcome more than anything else.” Whether you are choosing to be cheerful about a task, or choosing to believe in your ability to accomplish it, a positive attitude empowers you to do your best work. It makes team interaction go more smoothly. And very frequently, it delivers the results that you desire. Expecting the best usually results in the best. Thinking positively on the front end is critical to success.

BENEFITS

When you develop a positive attitude, you experience the following benefits: 1. You are content and enjoy life more.

2. You inspire others to achieve more together.

3. You attract people who exhibit the same qualities. 4. You see the opportunities in every situation. 5. You usually exhibit gratitude toward others.

6. You keep pushing until you succeed.

STEPS TO FOLLOW

1. Talk to yourself. The most important person to listen to is yourself. What you tell yourself about your situation is either an anchor that holds you back or a sail that propels you forward. Choose to think positive thoughts. When negative thoughts arise, respond to them with positivity. Tell yourself something positive in response. Don’t let the negative voices inside your mind influence you to see things negatively. Immediately find the positive in the situation before moving forward. Remember, you can choose what you think.

2. Choose positive relationships over negative ones. Think about the people that you spend a lot of time with. Are their attitudes primarily positive or negative? Attitude is contagious. So you should spend as much time as possible with people who choose to think positively. Their willingness to see the good in a situation will encourage you to make the same choice. If your circumstances don’t allow you to completely avoid negative people, then seek out positive people and spend time with them to counteract negative influences in your life.

3. Feed your faith, starve your fears. Choosing a positive attitude is challenging at first. It’s especially difficult if you haven’t been filling your mind with positive input. If you’ve been starved of anything positive, then you need to start feeding yourself a regular diet of motivational material. Read books that encourage a positive attitude. Listen to affirming messages. The more negative you are, the longer it will take to turn your attitude around. But if you consume a steady diet of the right mental “food,” you can become a positive thinker.

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ROUNDTABLE 1 - ATTITIUDE

REFLECT AND RESPOND

Choose something you underlined that is important to you. Take one minute to tell everyone what you chose and why it is important to you.

EVALUATION AND ACTION

Complete the self-evaluation section below.

Rate how well you demonstrate this quality in your life on a scale of 1-10.

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Why did you give yourself this rating?

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What benefits would you receive by improving your rating?

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Who do you know that exemplifies this quality? What do you admire most about that person?

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What specific action can you take immediately that will improve your rating?

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Take a minute to share your responses to the self-evaluation section, including the step you will take to improve in this area. Everyone is asked to participate.

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What action step did you commit to last week? What were the results?

INSIGHT


“Do you have a plan for personal growth?”

That’s the question Curt Kampmeier posed to John C. Maxwell over breakfast when John was twenty-five. Curt was someone whom John had sought out after hearing him talk about the principles of success.

That question changed John’s life, because he had never before considered personal growth as something he should plan; until that moment, John didn’t even realize that personal growth was something he needed to be intentional about. And from that time on, he has made intentional personal growth his goal.

If you want to live your life at the highest level and reach your potential, you must, as John says, “learn how to grow and develop yourself so you have the best chance of becoming the person you were meant to be.”

Here are three insights to help you begin your journey of personal growth:

Growth Isn’t Automatic. Unlike wines and cheeses, people don’t necessarily get better with age. Growth isn’t a guaranteed process. As John says, “You cannot expect wisdom to automatically come with age. Sometimes age comes alone.”

Growth begins with humility—you have to recognize your need for growth, which means putting aside pride and being honest with yourself. Growth is sustained when you commit to a plan that helps you grow.

You Must Value Yourself to Add Value to Yourself. Often the greatest barrier to intentional personal growth is low self-esteem. When people don’t see themselves as valuable, they are reluctant to work at improving themselves.

Every person has value. Every person has the potential to grow. That includes you. We should never compare ourselves to anyone else. We should only compare the person we are with the person we could become if we grew. Then we should strive to become that person of potential.

PERSONAL GROWTH People Who Keep Learning

Always Have a Future

“If you focus on goals, you may hit goals—but that doesn’t guarantee growth. If you focus on growth, you will grow and always hit goals.”

– John C. Maxwell


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ROUNDTABLE 2 - PERSONAL GROWTH

You Can Only Give Something You Have. In his book, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, John highlights the powerful truth that we should be contributors to the world around us. As John says, we should become like rivers, not reservoirs; we should share what we have, not hoard it.

Personal growth fuels our capacity for giving to those around us. When we keep growing, we always have something to give. This process of giving our best to help others ultimately results in others giving their best to help us, too. Personal growth fuels a culture of excellence and abundance.

BENEFITS

If you consistently pursue personal growth, you will experience the following benefits:

1. You will produce greater and continued success for yourself and others.

2. You will unlock and achieve your full potential.

3. You will gain the confidence and ability to invest in the people around you.

4. You will focus on developing your strengths.

5. You will grow in humility and self-awareness.

STEPS TO FOLLOW

1. Cure Your Destination Disease. Many people make it their life goal to achieve a certain position, acquire some type of recognition or title, or earn a certain amount of money. What’s the problem? If they achieve their goal, they stop improving. Instead, make growth itself your goal, so that who you are becoming holds more importance than where you are going.

2. Learn Something New Every Day. A friend once asked John, “When was the last time you learned something for the first time?” The growth you experienced last week, last month, or last year won’t sustain you. You need to keep learning now. Pick something new to learn and start today.

3. Intentionally Plan Your Growth. How do you want to grow? Who do you want to become? Do you want to improve your craft? Do you want to become a better leader? Do you want to improve your people skills? Find books, messages, podcasts, articles, workshops, and conferences that will help you to grow. Then plan out which you will take advantage of every week in the next year.

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ROUNDTABLE 2 - PERSONAL GROWTH

REFLECT AND RESPOND

Choose something you underlined that is important to you. Take a moment to tell everyone what you chose and why it is important to you.




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INTEGRITY Living with Integrity Leads

to a Life of Wholeness

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INSIGHT


Greek philosopher Socrates once said, “The first key to greatness is to be in reality what we appear to be.”

People have always struggled with wanting to appear better than they really are. And today’s technology and social media make it especially easy to craft an image for ourselves that makes us look good.

But a life of pretending does not bring fulfillment. When we act like one kind of person in one situation, and like an entirely different person in another, we deceive ourselves and those around us. The need to keep up the pretense causes stress and anxiety. Being deceptive hurts our self-respect and our credibility.

It is better to value authenticity over appearance. It’s better to have a heart to do the right thing, even if it’s a struggle. It’s better to confess our mistakes, ask forgiveness, and try to return to doing what we know is right. There is always hope for the person who desires to live with integrity, even when they fall short.

John C. Maxwell describes integrity as “who you are when no one else is looking.” That’s what all of us should strive for—doing the right thing, wherever we are, no matter who we’re with, no matter what we’re doing. When our inner being matches what other people see, it brings us peace and fulfillment. As a result, we experience wholeness.

Striving for integrity also breeds trust. When you are honest with others and you’re authentic when you make mistakes, people trust you. And they want to be around you. Choosing a life of integrity and authenticity enables you to work well with others and build strong relationships.

To develop integrity, think about these things:

Knowing Your Values Precedes Living Them Out. It is difficult, if not impossible, to be a person of integrity if you don’t have a clear understanding of what you value. That’s because your value system is the track that guides your choices and your actions. Do you value honesty? Are good relationships important to you? How about commitment? Do you believe in the

“Reputation is what people think we are. Integrity is what we really are.”

– John C. Maxwell

INTEGRITY Living with Integrity Leads

to a Life of Wholeness


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ROUNDTABLE 3 - INTEGRITY

Golden Rule? (“Do to others what you would have them do to you.”) When you do wrong, are you willing to admit it? Identifying your values can clarify how you will choose to live.

Integrity is a Decision You Make Once, and Manage Daily. You can choose to be a person of integrity right now. But that choice will be tested every day. Doing what you say you will do and acting according to your values builds trust and, over time, establishes a positive reputation. Integrity is always worth fighting for.

Remind yourself each day to live according to your values. Integrity is not a given factor in everyone’s life. It is a result of self-awareness, self-discipline, and a decision to be honest in all situations in our lives. We cannot make dishonest decisions in one area of life without doing damage to other areas. As you make choices every day, try to live in a way that is consistent with the type of person you want to be. You can’t be perfect, but you can work hard at being honest.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words. It’s easier to declare that you are a person of integrity than it is to live it. But acting with integrity has such high value for our self-respect and our relationships with others that it’s worth fighting for. We don’t want to be like the parent who cautions his child not to cheat, and then does something dishonest. We will always influence people more through our actions than our words. People may listen to the words we speak, but they always watch our actions to judge our true character.

BENEFITS

When you are a person of integrity, you experience the following benefits: 1. You have self-respect because your conscience is clear.

2. You sleep well at night because you are true to who you really are.

3. Other people trust you because your words and deeds match.

4. You are depended upon because people know that you are trustworthy.

5. Your life has peace and stability because you don’t have to keep track of lies or wrongs done.

6. You display alignment between your values, words and actions.

STEPS TO FOLLOW

1. Define Your Values. If you’ve never taken the time to articulate your values, do it now. Write down what is important to you and what you want to be known for. Then begin to assess your actions in relation to those values. Do they line up? Or do you need to make some changes?

2. Establish Guardrails. On a highway, guardrails keep cars from driving into a ditch or off a cliff. Guardrails for integrity are the decisions you make before a high-pressure situation, to live according to your values. Determine what you will and won’t do in advance of temptation. By setting boundaries beforehand, you will find it easier to maintain your character and integrity under pressure.

3. Make Things Right with Others. Reclaiming your integrity begins with facing your flaws, apologizing for your failures, and dealing with the consequences of your previous actions. Create a list of people to whom you need to apologize for your actions, and then follow through with sincere apologies. Try to make things right with them if it’s within your power to do so.

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ROUNDTABLE 3 - INTEGRITY

REFLECT AND RESPOND





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INSIGHT


When you approach your day, how do you determine what to do first? Do you have a strategy? Only a focus on priorities will enable you to decide what is really important. Everyone who wants to accomplish something of value has a full calendar. The question is not “will my calendar be full?” but rather, “what will fill my calendar?”

If you don’t have a plan in place for achieving what’s most important to you, you’ll spend all of your time reacting to what is important to someone else.

So what is the secret to living according to priorities?

Don’t Confuse Activity with Accomplishment. Being busy isn’t the same as being productive. If you spend every minute of your work day doing things that don’t matter, that won’t help you.

By deciding on your priorities ahead of time, you are able to plan your activities wisely. When you identify the most important areas you should focus on, you can direct your energy toward them. That may require you to say no to some things. Good. Sometimes you need to say no to good things, so that you can say yes to great things.

Put First Things First. Author Robert J. McKain writes, “The reason most major goals are not achieved is that we spend our time doing second things first.” When you know your priorities, it allows you to put first things first. One tool you can use is the Pareto Principle. This principle, which is also known as the 80-20 rule, states that you should spend 80 percent of your time and attention on the top 20 percent of your tasks. In other words, if you have ten items to do, you should put them in priority order and spend nearly all of your time on the top two items. This leads to the highest level of productivity.

Identify Your Priorities Based on Requirement, Return, and Reward. In your work, you should try to focus your time and effort in three main areas: 1) Tasks that are required of you by your employer that no one else can do. You must do these to fulfill your job responsibilities. 2) Tasks that yield a high return for your effort because they use your greatest strengths and talents. This is your sweet spot. And 3) tasks that are highly rewarding to you on a personal level. Your ultimate goal should be

“People who reach their potential and fulfill their dreams determine and act on their priorities daily.”

– John C. Maxwell

PRIORITIES Clear Priorities Show You What to Do

and Where to Go


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ROUNDTABLE 4 - PRIORITIES

to work most of the time in only these three areas.

John says, “If the requirements of my job are the same as the strengths that give me the highest return, and doing those things brings me great pleasure, then I will be successful.”

BENEFITS

When you have clearly defined priorities, you experience the following benefits: 1. You experience high satisfaction when you accomplish a task.

2. You get to spend the best of your energy on the most important tasks.

3. You know which things should come first and can act on them.

4. You don’t waste time on things that are non-essential.

5. You can focus on what matters the most.

6. You develop the power to say no to what doesn’t align with your priorities.

STEPS TO FOLLOW

1. Journal Your Time. For one week, keep a journal that documents how you spend your time. Hour by hour, write down everything you do, no matter how small or inconsequential it seems. At the end of the week, identify tasks that are time-wasters, tasks that don’t align with your priorities, and areas where you were on target. Also identify priorities that did not get the time they should have gotten from you. If you become aware of how you spend your time, you can begin focusing more of it on things that are a priority. Adjust how you spend your time the next week.

2. Shift to Strengths. Make a list of three or four things you do well. What percentage of your time do you spend doing those things? What percentage of your resources is dedicated to your areas of strength? Devise a plan to make changes allowing you to dedicate 80 percent of your time to your strengths. If you can’t, it may be time to reassess your job or career.

3. Make Today Your Masterpiece. As you approach your day, plan it according to your priorities. Look at your calendar and your to-do list before the day begins, to determine how you will spend your time. Then do what you can to make the day the best you possibly can.

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ROUNDTABLE 4 - PRIORITIES

REFLECT AND RESPOND





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INSIGHT


What does it mean to be a hard worker? It means more than just doing your job. Many people give their jobs some effort, but not their best effort. Hard workers give their work their best effort every day. They take pride in their work and look for ways to do it even better.

Hard work is an important value because it is a key component of success. Talent is good. Skills are valuable. But hard work takes them to the next level, which will not only bring you success. It will also give you deep inner satisfaction.

Here are some key ideas about hard work:

Recognize that You Are Your Most Important Boss. The average person works only as hard as the job or boss demands. But people who believe in working hard demand more of themselves and take pride in their work. Seeing yourself as your own boss is the key. Striving for excellence and giving your best helps you to take pride in your work and leaves you with a deep sense of inner satisfaction.

Work Harder Than Required. John C. Maxwell tells the story of the advice he gave his nephew Troy, who was starting his first job after graduating from university. John encouraged him to do three things: First, work a little bit longer than he had to by arriving at work thirty minutes early, taking less time than allowed to eat lunch, and staying thirty minutes later at the end of the day. Second, do something every day to help his colleagues without being asked. And third, tell the boss that he was available to do extra work any time he was needed. By following this advice, Troy advanced rapidly in the company.

Do the Difficult Tasks Others Avoid. Who do others look to when times get tough? Who do they rely on? The person who repeatedly gets things done. You can become that person in your world by volunteering to do the difficult tasks that others avoid. By doing tough jobs with excellence, you develop a reputation for helping your team or organization.

Make It Your Practice to Exceed Expectations. People who work hard don’t simply meet the requirements of their positions or their customers; they exceed them. They go above and beyond what is expected because they hold themselves to a higher

“All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.”

– Proverbs 14:23

WORK ETHIC Working Hard Brings Inner Satisfaction

Every Day


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ROUNDTABLE 5 - WORK ETHIC

standard. When you exceed expectations, you are able to delight your customers, your colleagues, and your boss. This will be appreciated, remembered, and rewarded.

Poet Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, “Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones.” There are many possible rewards for hard work. Examples include recognition, advancement, financial rewards, respect, and mastery of your craft. But few things are as rewarding as the sense of inner satisfaction that comes from feeling exhausted after having given your best in the accomplishment of an important task. Having done that, you will finish your day with no regrets, sleep well at night, and approach the next day with great enthusiasm and gusto.

BENEFITS

When you become a hard worker, you experience the following benefits:

1. You experience personal satisfaction in a job well done.

2. You are rewarded with more opportunities.

3. People remember what you’ve accomplished for the organization.

4. You are seen as a valuable member of the team.

5. You increase the chances that you will be rewarded financially.

STEPS TO FOLLOW

1. Do 10% More. One of the ways to make yourself work harder is to raise your own standards, by expecting more of yourself. Look at what your job requires and then try to determine what an extra 10 percent would look like. Make this your new benchmark for a job well done.

2. Rely on Your Strengths to Do Your Job Better. Write down all of the duties and responsibilities that make up your job. Then compare that list with a list of your strengths. (These can be character strengths, skills, or talents.) How can you use your strengths to do your job better? How can you add more value to your customers, colleagues, and organization? Find a way to use your strengths to do more than is expected of you in the job description. By excelling in your areas of strength, work will feel less like work and more like the fulfillment of your purpose.

3. Make Your Job Your Own. It’s easy to let your position define you. Instead, do your job with such excellence and intelligence that you define your position. Take pride in what you do and how you do it.

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ROUNDTABLE 5 - WORK ETHIC

REFLECT AND RESPOND





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INSIGHT


Most of life’s great experiences—the ones that resonate in our hearts and minds—involve other people. Rarely do we experience them alone. And even when we do, our first inclination is to share them with others.

Think back to the most important experiences of your life, the highest highs, the greatest victories, the most daunting obstacles overcome. How many of them happened to you alone? Probably very few. When you understand that being connected to others is one of life’s greatest joys, then you realize that life’s best comes when you initiate and invest in solid relationships.

Few things in life are more important than people and our relationships with them. The quality of our relationships impacts every area of our lives. For that reason, we should do everything we can to create solid, positive relationships. Here are some things to keep in mind as you do:

Trust Is the Foundation of Every Relationship. Developing trust is like creating the foundation of a building. It takes time and effort. But if it’s done right, the building that stands on it is solid. It can weather storms and earthquakes.

Every Person Either Lifts Others Up or Takes Them Down. People are the sources of both our greatest joys and our greatest challenges. That’s why John C. Maxwell teaches the Elevator Principle, which says, “We can lift people up or take people down in our relationships.” When we help and encourage others, we lift them up. We add to their lives. We make them better. When we are negative and selfish, we take people down. Every day, we get to choose which we will be.

Believing the Best in People Usually Brings Out the Best in People. Each of us has a choice in life. We can see the worst in people and base our treatment of them on low expectations, or we can choose to see the best in them and treat them accordingly.

It’s true that everyone gets disappointed by others in life. Everyone gets hurt. Everyone has trust and confidence misused. But our past disappointments don’t have to color our future. We can and should try to build solid relationships, starting with the people closest and most important to us—our family—and radiating out from there.

“All things being equal, people will work with people they like. All things not being equal, they still will.”

– John C. Maxwell

RELATIONSHIPS The Quality of Your Relationships

Determines the Quality of Your Life


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ROUNDTABLE 6 - RELATIONSHIPS

BENEFITS

When you develop good relationships with people, you experience the following benefits: 1. You live at peace with others.

2. You develop a strong network of people who want the best for you.

3. You experience the satisfaction of meeting the needs of others.

4. You experience the harmony of being treated as well as you treat others.

5. You are more likely to receive support from others when you need it.

STEPS TO FOLLOW

1. Put Others First. John C. Maxwell reminds us that the entire population of the world—with one minor exception—is composed of other people. If we maintain this perspective, it helps us to remember to put other people first. This week, focus on serving others and putting their needs ahead of your own.

2. Seek to Understand Others before Being Understood. Another lesson taught by John is the Exchange Principle, which says, “Instead of putting others in their place, we must put ourselves in their place.” How do you do that? By listening and working harder at understanding the other person’s point of view instead of trying to get them to understand yours. This week, make it your goal to speak less, listen more, and understand others.

3. Repair a Broken Relationship. If you have a broken relationship, you need to do all that you can to repair it.

This usually requires that you take the first step. Do something to reach out to someone that you might have wronged, even if the relationship breakdown is not all your fault. When you make good relationships a priority, you sometimes have to go first in rebuilding them. Apologize for your contribution to the problem, and be open and forgiving, even if the other person does not respond in kind.

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ROUNDTABLE 6 - RELATIONSHIPS

REFLECT AND RESPOND





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My Most Important Relationship

by John C. Maxwell

This is an optional session created by John C. Maxwell in which he discusses his faith. If you would like to participate, you can either proceed with

this roundtable like the others you have done, or you can watch the video of John teaching this lesson at iEQUIP.org/Relationship.

21

INSIGHT


You’ve just finished doing a roundtable on relationships, and I want to give you an opportunity to learn about the most important relationship in my life: my relationship with God, my greatest friend.

I’ve often asked myself why so many people don’t have a relationship with God. I believe that if people knew him as I know him and saw him as I see him, they would become people of faith.

That led me to the conclusion that most people have a wrong picture of who God is. And that causes them to misunderstand who he is and miss out on having a relationship with him. So I want to discuss four images people have when they picture God. Three of those images are wrong, and one is right. The last one shows God as he really is and as he wants us to see him.

1. A Fence

When some people think of God, they picture a fence or a wall. I mean a really tall, forbidding wall with no doors, no openings, and no way around it. People who see God this way believe in him, and they sense that he’s on the other side of that fence, but they feel that there is no way on earth to get to God. He’s unreachable. So they give up trying. And they believe they will never get to meet him.

My friend, this is a wrong picture. Do you know why I say that? When Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, they hid from God. But what did God do? He didn’t ignore them. He came looking for them. He wanted to connect with them. God wants to find you, and he’s willing to jump the fence for you!

2. A Ladder

When other people think of God, they picture a ladder. They see God as high up, and they hope to climb the ladder to get to him. How? By doing good works, doing the right things, and trying to be a good person. They hope that if they’re good enough, they can work their way up and someday get to God.

My Most Important Relationship

by John C. Maxwell

This is an optional session created by John C. Maxwell in which he discusses his faith. If you would like to participate, you can either proceed with

this roundtable like the others you have done, or you can watch the video of John teaching this lesson at iEQUIP.org/Relationship.

B O N U S R O U N D T A B L E

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BONUS ROUNDTABLE - MY MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP

This is another wrong picture. There is nothing you or I can do on our own to get to God. We can never be good enough, and we will never do enough to earn our way.

I know this because the Bible, which is God’s message to us, says it isn’t possible to work our way to God. Ephesians 2:8-9, says, “For it is by God’s grace that you have been saved through faith. It is not the result of your own efforts, but God’s gift, so that no one can boast about it.” We cannot earn a relationship with God. We can only receive it as a gift, as a result of God’s sending Jesus to die for us.

3. A Garbage Can

Some people think of God, and what comes to mind is all the negative things about themselves that they’ve done and would like to forget. It’s like they’re looking at a filthy garbage can. And they’re ashamed. They say to themselves, “I’m not worthy to see God. I’ve done too much wrong. God doesn’t want to see me. I’ll avoid him.”

This is another wrong picture of who God is. Do you know why? Because no matter what you’ve done wrong, God still loves you. He always has, and he always will.

I say this because of how Jesus spent his life. People criticized Jesus for spending time with thieves, prostitutes, and other sinners. The religious authorities said Jesus wasn’t religious enough. But Jesus told them that he was a doctor—a spiritual doctor. And doctors spend time with sick people to heal them, not with well people.

God’s heart for us is described by a parable Jesus told about the good shepherd. The shepherd left the ninety-nine obedient sheep who were with him to go find the one that was lost. That is the character of God. He reaches out to us. He wants to save us.

I love what the Bible says in 2 Corinthians 5:17: “Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person. The past is forgotten, and everything is new.” That gives me a lot of comfort. It means that God has the ability to look beyond my past and love me. He can also do that for you.

4. A Door

The last picture I want to share with you is of a door. It’s the door to our hearts. God stands on the other side of that door and gently knocks, asking to come into our lives. This is the true picture of God.

In the Bible, Jesus says, “I stand at the door and knock. If you hear me call and open the door I will come in.” And that’s a promise if we open that door. He doesn’t say maybe. He says he will.

God wants us to know him. He wants a relationship with us. And you need to understand something. If God is 1,000 steps away from you, he will take the first 999 steps to get to you. All he asks you and me to do is take one step.

If you’re thinking that you want to know this God who loves you unconditionally, then all you need to do is pray something like this to him:

Thank you, Jesus, for loving me so much that you died on the cross for me. Today I know that you are knocking on my heart’s door and asking to come into my life. So I open my heart’s door. I ask you to come in and live with me, to forgive my sins, and to be my savior and my friend. From this day forward I’m going to live with you, love you, and follow you. Thank you for forgiving me of every sin and making me a new person in Christ. Amen

If you genuinely open your heart to God, then he will change your life as he has mine, and you will start a beautiful relationship with him. If that is so, then welcome to the family of God.

If you prayed the faith prayer today and asked Jesus to be your savior, you are invited to go to JMRoundtables.com/NextStep to download a free guide to your next steps in your journey with God.

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BONUS ROUNDTABLE - MY MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP

REFLECT AND RESPOND


ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS (OPTIONAL)

Take one or two minutes to share your response to these questions:

1. Is faith something that has been important to you in the past? Explain.

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2. Do you relate to any of the four pictures of God? If so, explain. If not, why not?

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3. Do you intend to take any action in response to John’s message? If so, what?

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INSIGHT


What will it take for you to be successful? Maybe that’s a question you have asked yourself before. Most people do. If you were asked that question right now, how would you answer? Opportunities? Education? Money? Relationships with influential people? Recognition? Talent?

If you asked John C. Maxwell for his answer, you might be surprised. He says, “Intentional living is the key to everything you want to accomplish in life. It’s more important than where you were born, how much talent you have, or what kinds of connections you have. Intentional living empowers people to make the uphill climb to success—and to significance.”

Most people want to be successful. Most people also want to make a difference. They want their lives to count. And they have good intentions about these things. But good intentions aren’t enough to achieve success or experience significance. That requires intentional living.

John C. Maxwell explains that intentional living is characterized by three words:

Deliberate: Being intentional never occurs by accident. It requires people to think about their lives, consider where they want to go, and plan what they intend to do.

Consistent: Being intentional requires a person to follow through every day, week after week, year after year. Intentional living is a journey, not a destination.

Willful: Being intentional is a choice we must make and continue making as we face obstacles and challenges. Making a difference takes ongoing effort.

These three words are essential for you to travel the uphill journey of significance.

“Everything worthwhile is uphill.” – John C. Maxwell

Intentional Living:

The Lifestyle of Successful People


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ROUNDTABLE 7 - INTENTIONAL LIVING: THE LIFESTYLE OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

Most people rely on their good intentions, hoping that they will be enough to achieve success and experience significance. But there is a world of difference between good intentions and intentional living. Read the following list of words and observe the difference between them:

Good Intentions Intentional Living Desire Action Wish Purpose Someday Today Fantasy Strategy Hopefully Definitely Passive Active Occasional Continual Emotion Discipline Somebody Should I Will

As you look at these lists, can you see why good intentions alone are never enough to change your lifestyle? If all you ever do is cultivate good intentions, but you never act with intentionality, you’re actually likely to become more frustrated and less fulfilled. Your desire for positive change may increase, but the lack of results will leave you frustrated.

Whether we realize it or not, we live in the land of either good intentions or intentional living. If you desire to be successful and to make the world a better place, you need to choose intentional living.

Becoming an intentional person has the power to change your life. Here’s how:

Intentional Living Is the Best Way to Improve Your Life. Many people have big dreams, but few actually follow through on living those dreams. Intentional living moves you from desire to action. It empowers you to follow through. A small intentional action is always more powerful than a grand good intention. The sure pathway to a better life is consistent positive intentional action.

Intentional Living Teaches You the Value of Thinking Ahead. People who are not intentional wake up every day and are surprised by what happens to them. Intentional living means not letting the day sneak up on you. Intentional people think ahead and plan for the day they want to have. As John C. Maxwell notes, the person who thinks before taking action is ten times more effective than the person who doesn’t.

Intentional Living Inspires You to Make Every Day Count. Far too many people hope to make a difference…someday. They wait for more time, more money, more status, more influence, or more opportunities. In contrast, when you live intentionally you look at things differently. You realize that now is the only sure time you have to make a difference. Yesterday has passed. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. When you live with an intentional mindset, you become aware of the countless opportunities surrounding you on a daily basis, opportunities to make a difference. And you make the most of them.

Intentional Living Allows You to Make Changes One Step at a Time. If you want to become intentional and live a life of significance, there’s good news: you don’t have to change everything. But there’s also bad news: you have to change something. Intentional people understand that taking deliberate, consistent and purposeful steps will improve their lives and the lives of those around them. As Anne Frank said, “How wonderful that no one needs to wait a single minute before improving their world!”

John C. Maxwell teaches that the secret of your success is determined by your daily agenda. Why does he teach this? Because what you plan and actually do, day after day, becomes your lifestyle. And your lifestyle, more than anything else, affects the outcome of your life. If you want to be successful and make a difference, you must develop a lifestyle of intentional living. Do that, and you will experience the changes you desire.

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ROUNDTABLE 7 - INTENTIONAL LIVING: THE LIFESTYLE OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

REFLECT AND RESPOND


ANSWER THIS QUESTION

Take one or two minutes to share your response to this question:

Most people have dreams of success but put off doing the things that will help them make progress. What have you been putting off doing that would help you to improve your life?

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INTENTIONAL ACTION STEP

Everyone has a list of good intentions—things they think they should do to improve their own or others’ lives. This week, choose one of those things and actually do it. You can choose something big or small. The only requirement is that you complete it this week. When you come back next week, plan to tell the rest of the group about it.

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Take a minute to share with the group what action you intend to take this week.

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INSIGHT


We all tell a story with our lives; yet few of us write that story intentionally. Instead, many of us just live each day and let the story write itself. John Kotter, author of Leading Change, says, “Most people don’t lead their own lives – they accept their lives.”

We don’t have to live that way. We can turn our lives into great stories by engaging in intentional living. John C. Maxwell says, “When I talk about intentional living, I’m describing approaching each day with the expectation of making a positive difference in the lives of others and following through with action.” Learning to be intentional has the power to create positive change in the world around you and to help you live a great story of significance.

In his book Intentional Living, John C. Maxwell describes how a book he received as a gift many years ago inspired him to become more active in “writing” his own story by living intentionally. The book he received was titled The Greatest Story Ever Told. Excited to read something inspiring, John quickly opened it, but discovered the pages were all blank. Inside was a note from the giver that said, “John, your life is before you. Fill these pages with kind acts, good thoughts, and matters of your heart. Write a great story with your life.” For the first time, he embraced the idea that he could be the author of his own life and could create a story of significance with his daily actions.

John goes on to describe his journey of significance that took place over the next several decades. As he has shared his story with millions of people, he has made an important discovery. Most people, regardless of culture, background, or age, take four steps in their significance journey, which are described below. As you read them, see if they connect with you:

1. I Want to Make a Difference. A great story—a story of significance—begins with a heart to help other people. If you have a heart to make a difference in the lives of other people, you always find a way to help people. You always find answers to life’s tough questions. You create solutions. You don’t say, “Something should be done about this.” You say, “I will do something!” That’s when you begin to rewrite your story.

“Everyone’s life is a story. You determine how great your story is.” – John C. Maxwell

Intentional Living:

You Can Make Your Life a Great Story


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ROUNDTABLE 8 - INTENTIONAL LIVING: YOU CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE A GREAT STORY

2. Doing Something that Makes a Difference. Do you know what you were put on this earth to do? John C. Maxwell believes all people have a purpose. They just need to discover it. Next week’s lesson will help you explore this topic in depth. Until then, know this: You can make a difference. You don’t have to be rich or famous or powerful. You can do something that makes a difference. You just need to help people intentionally every day. A great story of significance is one that makes small differences in the lives of others.

3. With People Who Make a Difference. In his book The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork, John writes about the Law of Significance, which says, “One is too small a number to achieve greatness.” If you want to make a difference, you must become part of something bigger than yourself. You must attempt something greater than you are. That doesn’t mean it has to be earth-shaking. It just needs to be big enough to require a group effort. When people begin working together, there is a multiplying effect.

4. At a Time that Makes a Difference. Today is the only day we have to make a difference. People over-exaggerate yesterday and over-estimate tomorrow. Can you make a difference yesterday? Of course not. Yesterday has already passed. It’s gone and won’t come back again. Can you make a difference tomorrow? There’s no guarantee that we will be here tomorrow. The only time we have any control over is now. Every time we choose to make a difference now, we write more of our story of significance.

What do you want your life story to say? You can write it by making choices like the ones John C. Maxwell made. The journey begins with wanting to make a difference and believing that you can. It takes form as you take action. In the end, if you become intentional, your story will be your legacy. It will outlive you. Long after you’re gone, people will remember the type of person you were, the life you lived, and the impact you made on others. Choose to write your story instead of just reading it. Live it rather than just letting it happen. Make it great. Do that, and significance is yours.

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ROUNDTABLE 8 - INTENTIONAL LIVING: YOU CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE A GREAT STORY

REFLECT AND RESPOND




What story would you like to live and leave as a legacy? If it helps, you may want to think of it this way: At your funeral, what would you like people to say about you and the impact you made on your world?

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Determine which of the four steps describing the significance journey best describes where you are now:

1. I Want to Make a Difference 2. Doing Something That Makes a Difference 3. With People Who Make a Difference 4. At a Time that Makes a Difference Now, what specific action can you take this week to become intentional, so that your life story changes in the direction you desire? Write down what that action is. Be sure to include who, what, where, how, and when you will take this action.

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INSIGHT


There is a passage in the book Souls on Fire in which author Elie Wiesel writes that when you die and meet your Maker, you’re not going to be asked why you didn’t become a Messiah or find a cure for cancer. All you’re going to be asked is, “Why didn’t you become you? Why didn’t you become all that you are?”

What does it mean to become all that you are? It means reaching your potential. How do you do that? By fulfilling your purpose. But before you live your purpose, you must first find it.

Many people find that task to be challenging. But John C. Maxwell offers a simple formula that anyone can use to find his purpose:

Your Passion + Your Strengths + Value Added to Others = Your Purpose

John says that when you add what you love doing to what you’re good at doing, and you use those things to meet the needs of others, you find your purpose.

You can begin discovering your purpose today. Start by asking yourself these three questions:

What Is My Passion?When John C. Maxwell was eighteen years old, he heard a professor list three questions that a person can ask to find his or her purpose. John has used these questions to help guide him toward his purpose for fifty years. Here are the questions, along with John’s answers: What do you cry about? John cries when he sees hurting people. What do you sing about? John sings when he is helping people. What do you dream about? John dreams of helping people to help other people.To find your passion—the thing you love to do—ask yourself those same questions. Your answers will point you toward your purpose.

“There are two great days in your life: The day you were born and the day you find out why.” – John C. Maxwell

Intentional Living:

Putting Your Purpose into Action


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ROUNDTABLE 9 - INTENTIONAL LIVING: PUTTING YOUR PURPOSE INTO ACTION

As you think about your answers, consider this: Your passion will give you energy. It will give you drive. It will make you want to get up in the morning, and it will put bounce in your step. Your passion will inspire you to want more, do more, be more.

What Are My Strengths?Everyone has qualities, talents, and skills that have the potential to make a difference. John C. Maxwell says that he knew from an early age that his greatest strength was communication. He was also aware of his gift for leadership. When he started communicating about leadership, he started to realize, I was made for this! And his ability to add value to people went to another level.

Your talents give you a superior edge. They open up opportunities for you. These things give you an advantage, but they bring with them responsibility. You have been given gifts and talents, to help not only yourself, but also others.

What is inside you that can help you make others better? What skills do you possess? What talents are in you? What personality traits do you have that can be used to add value to others? Anything and everything you have can be used to help others if you make adding value to people your priority and become intentional about it.

What Needs Can I Meet?Our world is filled with needs waiting to be met by someone. You can be that someone!

John C. Maxwell says he looks at his schedule every day and asks himself, “Who can I help today? How can I help them? When should I do that?” You can do that same thing. You can also act in the moment, putting your unique skills, talents, resources, and experiences to work to help others.

Look around you with open eyes, and you will see needs everywhere. Begin by looking for physical needs: everyone needs water, food, shelter, and clothing. Can you use your strengths to meet these kinds of needs in people? These are the most basic things.

From there, go out of your way to help people with their emotional needs, such as the need that everyone has to feel valued. Will you value them? Everyone wants to belong. Will you include them? Everyone wants people to believe in them. Will you give them your belief?

Finally, everyone can benefit by being given opportunities. What can you do for others that they cannot do for themselves? Can you introduce people to one another for their mutual benefit? Is there an opportunity that may not be right for you that you could pass along to someone else? Or perhaps you can invite someone to join you in something you’re doing. Most people just want a chance to work for a better life. If you can, give them that chance.

Purpose becomes clearer when you put together all three of these elements. When you love doing something, but it doesn’t use your strengths, it may become your hobby, but it won’t lead to your purpose. If something uses your strengths, but it doesn’t tap into your passion, you won’t keep doing it. But when your passion and your strengths align, and they are used to satisfy others’ needs, something special happens. You discover your purpose, you make a difference, and you climb higher up the mountain of significance.

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ROUNDTABLE 9 - INTENTIONAL LIVING: PUTTING YOUR PURPOSE INTO ACTION

REFLECT AND RESPOND




How could you bring together what you’re passionate about and your greatest strengths in order to meet the needs of others and add value to them?

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This week, write down your answers to these three questions: What are your top two strengths? What do you love doing? What needs of others might you be able to meet by using them? Then meet separately with three people who know you well. Tell them that you want their opinion about your answers to the three questions. Do they agree with your answers about yourself, or do they see greater strengths and greater passions than the ones you listed? And do they have additional ideas about how you could use your strengths and passion to help other people?

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Take a minute to share with the group who you will talk to about your strengths and passions.

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INSIGHT


What is your motivation when you get up in the morning? If your desire is to live a life of significance, you need to approach each day as an opportunity to make a difference. How do you do that? By putting others first and taking action to add value to them. That’s what leads to significance—not social position, a title, possessions, or a big bank balance.

Selfishness and significance are incompatible. A self-centered approach to living does not bring fulfillment. However, when we put others first, not only do we help them, but it helps us, too. John C. Maxwell’s friend, motivational speaker, Zig Ziglar said, “When you help people get what they want, they will help you get what you want.” Adding value to people is a win-win situation.

The 5 Everyday Essentials of Significance

John teaches that there are five everyday essentials for living a life of significance, and they are simple practices that anyone can do right away:

1. Value People Every Day. You will only add value to people if you see value in people. You cannot believe people are unimportant and add value to them at the same time. John learned this lesson from his father, who said, “Most people feel undervalued, insecure, and lost. If you show them that you value them and you love them unconditionally, you will make a difference.” How do you feel when others value you? How about when people devalue you? How you are treated impacts how you feel about yourself and how you treat others. Keep that in mind as you interact with people. When you value yourself and you value others, you create a cycle of positive interaction that makes life better for everyone.

“People who are intentional take the advice of my mentor, John Wooden: Make every day your masterpiece.” – John C. Maxwell

Intentional Living:

Everyday Essentials for Living a Life of Significance

R O U N D T A B L E 1 0

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ROUNDTABLE 10 - INTENTIONAL LIVING: EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS FOR LIVING A LIFE OF SIGNIFICANCE

2. Think Ahead About Ways to Add Value to People Every Day. People who make a difference think about ways to add value to people ahead of time. They are proactive about it. A quick look at your day’s calendar in the morning can provide ideas for adding value. Where will you be going? Who will you be meeting? In what ways might you help people? Opportunities are endless—if you are intentional in your thinking. Recently John C. Maxwell challenged his grandchildren to think about ways to add value to others every day. His twelve-year-old grandson John took that advice. He was taking golf lessons, and at each lesson, his instructor provided a cup of water for him. One hot day, young John decided that he would provide a cup of water for his instructor instead. Young John even took a picture of it and sent it to his grandpa to show him that he was learning the lesson. You can do something similar. As you can see, it doesn’t need to be anything big or expensive. It just needs to be thoughtful. Begin your day by thinking about specific ways to add value to people.

3. Look for Ways to Add Value to People Every Day. In his book Winning with People, John C. Maxwell writes about the Lens Principle, which is, “Who we are determines how we see others.” For example, if we are selfish, we look for others to add value to us. If we desire significance, we look for ways to add value to others. In life, you either add to or subtract from others. Those who subtract focus on taking for themselves. Those who add focus on giving to others. As you go through your day, which mindset do you have? If you have a mindset to give, you will care about people’s needs and look for ways to meet them. You will see your day as a series of opportunities to help people.

4. Do Things That Add Value to People Every Day. Is it possible to value people, think about adding value to them, and look for ways to add value to them, yet still not be a person of significance? Unfortunately, the answer is yes. The key to significance is taking action. You can only make a difference if you actually follow through and do things that add value to others. Otherwise, you only have good intentions, and good intentions don’t produce results. Only intentional living does. John C. Maxwell holds himself accountable every day by asking himself two questions. At the beginning of every day, he asks himself, “Who will I add value to today?” And at the end of every day he asks, “Who did I add value to today?” If he cannot identify a specific action done for a specific person, he knows he has not been intentional enough that day.

5. Encourage Others to Add Value to People Every Day. Significance begins with you, but it’s meant to be shared. As you develop the daily habit of adding value to others, begin encouraging others close to you to do the same. You will be amazed at the impact you can make when you partner with others to make a difference.

The essentials of significance are not hard. But they do require intentionality. Embrace them, and you will feel fulfillment, make your world a better place, and begin your story of significance every day.

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ROUNDTABLE 10 - INTENTIONAL LIVING: EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS FOR LIVING A LIFE OF SIGNIFICANCE

REFLECT AND RESPOND




Which action do you find to be the most difficult for you? Why? Placing a High Value on People Every Day Thinking Ahead about Ways to Add Value to People Every Day Looking for Ways to Add Value to People Every Day Doing Things to Add Value to People Every Day Encouraging Others to Add Value to People Every Day

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What specific action can you take this week to intentionally add value to someone you normally do not help? Write down what that action is. Be sure to include who, what, where, how, and when you will take this action.

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36


INSIGHT

Directions: Take turns reading the paragraphs below.

We are nearing the end of our time together. Our journey began with discussions about life-changing keys to success and opportunities to apply those principles to our lives. As you went through those six roundtables, did you begin to see positive changes in your life? Did others see changes in you too? We hope so.

This next phase of your journey has focused on intentional living. By now, we hope you have embraced the idea of making your life a great story by valuing people and adding value to them every day, so that you can experience significance. If you do that, you can begin to see the positive changes within you spread to others. And that’s how you can change your world.

John C. Maxwell says, “Mass movements don’t begin with the masses.” Instead, change begins with one person. Hopefully that change has begun in you. If that is true, you have an opportunity to help others make positive changes in their lives.

In last week’s lesson, you learned John’s five essentials of success. The last one was to encourage others to add value to people every day. Today’s session focuses on how you can do that.

In the early 1960s, when John was a teenager, United States president John F. Kennedy made a great impression on him. In particular, John was captivated by Kennedy’s announcement of the founding of the Peace Corps, an organization created to add value to people outside of the United States. Kennedy said, “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.”

It’s been said that everyone has a “change the world” speech inside of him. John C. Maxwell believes you have one in you, too. You don’t have to become a famous politician or communicator to make a difference. All you have to do is start telling others your story.

“The stories we tell the best are the ones we have lived.” – John C. Maxwell

Intentional Living:

Start Sharing Your Story to Encourage

Others


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ROUNDTABLE 11 - INTENTIONAL LIVING: START SHARING YOUR STORY TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS

John says, “Everyone loves a good story. Stories tell us who we are. They inspire us, connect with us, fire our emotions, paint pictures of who we aspire to be, and give us permission to act.” By telling your story, you can inspire someone else to live a new story too.

Today’s session is going to be different from the other roundtables. You’re going to share your story by answering several questions and talking about them to your fellow roundtable participants. You won’t be expected to tell a polished story. This is just your starting point.

Facilitator: Stop taking turns reading. Instead, each person is to answer all six questions before the next person’s turn. Each person’s answers will become the starting point for his or her story. Facilitator, please go first.

1. Reality: What was I like before participating in these roundtables?

2. Discovery: What did I learn about myself by doing the roundtables?

3. Change: What is the most important change I made because of the roundtables?

4. Results: How has that change helped me?

5. Sharing: What lesson would I like others to know from my experience?

6. Significance: How will I intentionally help others make change in their lives?

Facilitator: Ask someone in the group to read this final paragraph.

Philosopher and author Parker Palmer said, “Our real freedom comes from being aware that we do not have to save the world, we must merely make a difference in the place where we live.” Telling your story can do more to make a difference than you might imagine. As Charles Swindoll said, “Stories transport us into another world. They hold our attention. They become remarkable vehicles for the communication of truth and meaningful lessons that cannot be easily forgotten. If a picture is better than a thousand words, a story is better than a million!”

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ROUNDTABLE 11 - INTENTIONAL LIVING: START SHARING YOUR STORY TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS

REFLECT AND RESPOND




What do you expect to be the most challenging or difficult part of telling your story to others?

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Your task this week is to tell at least one person your story. You discovered many of its components when you answered today’s questions. Use that information, plus anything else that you think would help you tell a good story.

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Talk about what happened when you shared your story with others. Who did you tell, and what reaction did they have?

INSIGHT


In his book Intentional Living, John C. Maxwell writes that one of the most powerful ways to make a difference in the world around you is to partner with like-valued people. Over the past several weeks, you’ve been involved in such a partnership. Together with your facilitator and fellow participants, you have been learning valuable success principles, making changes to your life, and learning how to make a difference.

Now it’s your turn to take a tangible step of significance. You can begin immediately adding value to others by recruiting people to become part of a roundtable group that you facilitate.

In this week’s session, we will examine how roundtables work, and you will learn the basics of becoming a facilitator of roundtables that teach success principles and intentional living. This will prepare you to lead your own roundtable.

The Key to Leading Roundtables About Keys to Success What do you think makes a roundtable about success principles work? The answer is transparency. When people are honest and open about themselves—and especially about their shortcomings and mistakes—other people in the group are positioned to grow.

Who sets the tone for transparency? The facilitator! If the leader of the group is open and honest, everyone else in the group is free to be him or herself. If the leader highlights only their strengths or pretends to be without faults and challenges, then the people in the group will not be honest and will not grow.

John C. Maxwell teaches that leaders go first. That’s true in a roundtable. As the leader, you will need to open up first and talk about where you need to grow. Then you will need to ask everyone to talk and participate in the roundtable. If you do that, there is a very good chance that everyone will grow. And that is the measure of a successful roundtable.

“Partnering with a community of like-valued people will help you multiply the dream you have of making a difference.” – John C. Maxwell

Intentional Living:

Leading Your Own Roundtable Group


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ROUNDTABLE 12 - INTENTIONAL LIVING: LEADING YOUR OWN ROUNDTABLE GROUP

The Key to Leading Roundtables About Intentional LivingWhat is the key to a roundtable about intentional living? The answer is commitment to taking action. When you lead this kind of roundtable, your goal is to encourage participants to commit to putting what they learn into action.

John C. Maxwell says that growth equals change. If you want to grow, you must change. No one can refuse to change and have a better life. That’s impossible. As the leader, you must commit to take action and change. And you must encourage or even challenge others to commit themselves to living with intentionality.

The Key to Becoming a Good Roundtable Facilitator If the idea of being a facilitator of a roundtable group seems challenging to you, just remember that you already know what one looks like. And you have already participated in a roundtable and answered all of the questions that will be asked. The main difference is that now it will be your turn to answer first. You will also get a chance to make people feel welcome, encourage them, and add value to them.

Here are a few ideas to keep in mind as you prepare to start your own group:

1. Set Expectations Before You Start. John C. Maxwell often says, “Disappointment is the gap between expectations and reality.” Let people know what to expect in the coming twelve weeks.

2. Put Your Focus on Others Every Time You Meet. A good roundtable is not about you. It’s about the other people in the group. Value them. Care about who they are. Listen to what they have to say. Be their friend, not their teacher.

3. Remember Your Goal Every Time You Meet. The purpose of every roundtable meeting is for people to take action. If people discover for themselves where they need to change, create a specific action plan for themselves, and are held accountable the next week, they will grow.

Leading a roundtable is a great place to start adding value to others and making a difference. And it may also help you learn more about your purpose.

John C. Maxwell quotes a study of people nearing the ends of their lives who were asked what they might have done differently. Most of them said they wished they had taken more risks. When people experience regret, it usually doesn’t come from trying something new and failing. It usually comes from never having tried. Don’t allow the opportunity for making a difference to pass you by. Take a step into significance by leading a roundtable.

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ROUNDTABLE 12 - INTENTIONAL LIVING: LEADING YOUR OWN ROUNDTABLE GROUP

REFLECT AND RESPOND




What excites you most about the idea of leading a roundtable group, and what challenges you the most?

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Decide whether to commit to leading your own group. If you do, then take the following steps this week: 1. Make a list of people – friends, colleagues, family members, etc. – who you might want to invite to your group.

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2. Choose the four to ten people that you want to invite to your group. 3. Choose the location, time and starting date for your group. 4. Tell your story to the people you’ve chosen and personally invite them to your group. 5. Lead your first group and continue meeting for twelve weeks.

Take a minute to share with the group your decision about whether you will recruit and facilitate a new roundtable group.

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Who Would You Like to Invite?

Think about the different relationships in your life: friends, family, co-workers, community members, etc. Begin listing the names of people in every area below. This is your starting list. Plan to invite anywhere from four to ten people to be part of your roundtable group.

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Where and When Would You Like to Meet?

Think of possible locations, days, and times that would be suitable for you and your group to meet. The setting should be convenient and quiet. Write them below. Before inviting group members, make sure you will be able to use that location at that time.

Location Day Time

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What Date Would You Like to Start?

You should try to start your group as soon as you can, while you have energy and enthusiasm. However, you need to take into consideration how much time it will take to secure your location and invite your group members. Set a date, and use it as a deadline to help you follow through. Ideally, your group should begin within one to three weeks from today.

If you desire to lead a roundtable, you can download the materials at JMRoundtables.com/Facilitator.

The Roundtable Method of Growth New Roundtable Group Worksheet NEW ROUNDTABLE GROUP WORKSHEET

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The Roundtable Method of Growth The teaching method of the roundtable is very simple but highly effective. Every person understands the value of two-way communication. However, the most common form of training used is one-way communication, where one person talks and everyone else listens. This may be a good way to convey information, but it is not effective for transformation.

Roundtables employ two-way communication in a structured environment. Ideas are not taught; they are facilitated. During a roundtable, a designated person leads, but all participants share from their own experience. As a result, everyone grows together—including the facilitator.

Roundtables are effective because . . . • They are conducted in a small group setting consisting of four to ten people. • They usually take between thirty minutes (four people) and sixty minutes (ten people). • They give every participant a “voice” and the opportunity for a win. • They are designed to emphasize and promote personal growth.

THE FACILITATOR

The facilitator plays a very important role in the roundtable process. A facilitator can be defined as someone who encourages people to share and enables them to learn and grow by their personal example.

What a Facilitator is Not: a coach, a teacher, a counselor, a commentator. • Not there to fix others or give correction • Not there to impress others • Not there to teach or lecture

What a Facilitator is: a participant, a model of authenticity, and an honest contributor. • Challenges self, not others • Not afraid to expose their own weaknesses • Shares from their own life • Loves people and respects their opinions • Keeps the group on track • Encourages participants to take action leading to personal growth

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FIVE STEPS TO FACILITATING A ROUNDTABLE 1. Each person takes one minute to share the result of the action step from last week, starting with the facilitator

and going around the circle. 2. Everyone takes turns reading aloud the paragraphs in that week’s lesson. Start with the facilitator and go

around the circle until every section has been read aloud. As the paragraphs are being read, everyone underlines the ideas that are most important to them.

3. Each person takes one minute to share one thing they underlined and why it is important to them. This starts with the facilitator and goes around the circle.

4. Everyone takes two to three minutes to write answers in the Evaluation and Action section. 5. Each person shares what they wrote in the Evaluation and Action section, starting with the facilitator and going

around the circle.

THE STRUCTURE OF THE ROUNDTABLES ON SUCCESS PRINCIPLESThere are two kinds of roundtables people will be participating in during this process. The first six roundtables focus on success principles. The last six roundtables focus on intentional living.

Each roundtable on success principles will follow a pattern designed to help everyone participate and accept the challenge of developing each quality in his or her own life:

Action Step from Previous Week: Each session will begin with an opportunity for people to share what action step they committed to during the previous session and to tell what resulted.

Insight: This section contains information about the principle being learned. Participants will take turns reading paragraphs from this section aloud. Participants are encouraged to underline key thoughts and ideas that capture their attention. If the content for the lesson came from a book, the source of the information will be mentioned here.

Benefits: This section shows participants what benefits they will experience when they make the quality a focus of their lives.

Steps to follow: This section gives the participant concrete steps that, when implemented, will lead toward personal growth in that area.

Reflect and respond: Each participant will be asked to share something they underlined in the lesson and why it was important to them.

Evaluation and action: Participants will rate themselves on how well they demonstrate the quality in their lives, and identify ways to improve in that area. Participants will be asked to share their answers with the group. The facilitator should go first and emphasize where he or she needs to grow, not his or her successes.

Although personal growth does happen individually, the roundtable process allows participants to gain immediate feedback on their own responses and learn from the experiences of others. When the facilitator is transparent, it creates an environment where participants feel comfortable sharing their experiences.

The roundtable method allows groups to create a close community, in which they support and encourage one another. As participants develop relationships and grow in their understanding of each quality, they increase the transformation that comes through their own personal growth.

FIVE STEPS TO FACILITATING A ROUNDTABLE, THE STRUCTURE OF THE ROUNDTABLES ON SUCCESS PRINCIPLES

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THE STRUCTURE OF THE INTENTIONAL LIVING ROUNDTABLESThe roundtables that teach intentional living follow a very similar format:

Action Step from Previous Week: Each session will begin with an opportunity for people to share what action step they committed to during the previous session and to tell what resulted.

Insight: Participants will take turns reading paragraphs from this section aloud and will be encouraged to underline key thoughts and ideas that capture their attention. However, the Intentional Living roundtables will not include Benefits and Steps to Follow.

Reflect and respond: Each participant will again be asked to share something they underlined in the lesson and why it was important to them.

Discussion Question: Participants will be asked to answer one question related to the lesson.

Intentional Action Step: Participants will be encouraged to follow through with an intentional action based on the lesson, and they will be given an opportunity to share with the group the specific action they intend to take.

At the end of the twelve weeks of roundtable sessions, every participant who desires to lead roundtables of their own will be given the opportunity to recruit a group and become a facilitator.

We believe you will experience tremendous growth during this process. Your family, friends, and colleagues will see positive change in you. And you will begin to receive great opportunities to add value to others and make a difference in your own life, in your community, and your world.

THE STRUCTURE OF THE INTENTIONAL LIVING ROUNDTABLES

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• As facilitator, you must go first and model what others are to do.

• Everyone is given an opportunity and is encouraged to participate. Go around the circle and ask every person to take a turn reading, sharing, or answering.

• If someone wants to pass, do not force him or her to participate.

• Be transparent and authentic. Be willing to admit your shortcomings to create a safe environment where everyone can speak with authenticity. A facilitator can share with discretion while still being honest.

• Everyone should use the pronouns I and me when sharing. Words like we, you, they, and people should be avoided when sharing.

• When I apply truth to myself, it brings transformation. If I try to apply truth to others, they feel judged and resist the process. No one operates well under judgment. Transformation begins with me.

• Thank each participant after he or she shares.

• Be sure action steps are personal and specific. Do not let yourself or others be general. Help everyone to drill down to a small action step that is measurable. If needed, encourage people to use who, what, where, and when to help them be specific.

• Make a brief note of each participant’s action step to assist with the follow-up the next week.

• If someone tries to monopolize the conversation or is a “long talker,” do not embarrass or single the person out. Watch for pauses in conversation and seize the moment to direct the conversation to the next person. And remind everyone that suggested response time is about one minute.

• Avoid topics that might build walls within the group such as politics.

• Respect people’s time by starting and ending on time.

• Bring extra pens so that everyone can complete the Evaluation and Action section.

• Roundtable groups often work best when they meet on the same day and at the same time every week.

• Application is the key to success. Each roundtable leads to the creation of a specific, measurable, achievable action step.

• Group members can give one another accountability for follow-through and can celebrate victories together.

Facilitation Tips

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A SCRIPT FOR YOUR FIRST ROUNDTABLEIf you would find it helpful, you may review this script before you facilitate your first roundtable. Note: Directions are in italics.

“Welcome everyone! Today we will be doing a roundtable on Attitude.”

Step 1 Note: In every Roundtable after the first, you will share your action step from the previous week and how you did with it. Then you will ask all the people around the circle to share theirs in turn. Because this is the first roundtable, you can skip this step. Instead, you can ask people to share what they hope to get out of the twelve-week roundtable process.

Step 2 “We’re going to begin by reading about the topic. I will start by reading the first paragraph. Then the person on my right

will read the next one. And we will keep going around the circle with each person reading until we have finished reading the Insight, Benefits, and Steps to Follow sections. As we read, underline the things that are important to you. When we are done reading, we will each take a minute to share one thing we underlined that’s most important to us along with a brief explanation of why we found it impactful.”

The group should read all of the material except the Evaluation and Action section. Step 3 “Let’s go around the circle and share the things we underlined that we consider most important. Please share why what

you underlined is important to you, and try to keep your comments to one minute. I will go first . . .”

Make sure that you use the pronouns I and me to set the example of how to share. Remember, transformation begins with me. Be sure to thank each person after he or she shares.

Step 4 “Thank you for sharing. Now let’s take about two or three minutes to complete the Evaluation and Action section. It asks

you first to rate your current application of this quality to your life on a scale of one to ten. One is low, which means you believe you’re terrible at it. Ten means you think you’re perfect. Please stay away from choosing five or six. And make sure your evaluation is for today, not you at your best. Write down your answers. I’m going to do mine right now too.”

Encourage everyone to write out the evaluation by doing yours immediately. Write out your answers. When you’re finished, watch to see that everyone else has completed the evaluation.

Step 5 “Let’s take a minute to share what we wrote in our Evaluation and Action section. I will go first.

I gave myself a ____________ today on the quality of Attitude.

I gave myself this rating because _____________________________________________.

By raising my rating, my benefit will be _____________________________________________.

I feel _____________________________________________ demonstrates this quality well. This is why _____________________________________________.

My specific action this week is _____________________________________________.”

Make sure your specific action is one small, measurable, achievable action step. Make sure it is specific. When you have finished, look to your right and ask that person to share. If needed, walk him or her through the items from Step 4. Remember to say thank you after each person has participated.

“Thank you for participating, and I look forward to seeing you next week.”

A SCRIPT FOR YOUR FIRST ROUNDTABLE

Facilitation Tips

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ABOUT JOHN C. MAXWELL

John C. Maxwell is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, coach, and speaker who has written more than 100 books, which have sold more than 26 million copies and have been translated into fifty languages. Each year he speaks to Fortune 500 companies, presidents of nations, and many of the world’s top business leaders.

In 2014, John was named the most influential leadership expert in the world by Business Insider and Inc. magazines, as well as being identified by the American Management Association as the leader who has most influenced business.

John also received the Mother Teresa Prize for Global Peace and Leadership from the Luminary Leadership Network that same year.

John’s story has been described as that of a small-town American pastor who became one of the most influential business, personal growth, and leadership teachers in the world.

After graduating with a bachelor’s degree in theology and marrying his high school sweetheart Margaret in June of 1969, John embarked on a career as a minister. John led three churches over twenty-six years, including Skyline, one of the most influential churches in America when he left it in 1995.

John founded The John Maxwell Company, which provides corporate training and resources to leaders, and The John Maxwell Team, which trains and certifies coaches and speakers. He also founded two non-profit organizations: The John Maxwell Leadership Foundation, and EQUIP. These organizations have trained more than 6 million leaders in every one of the world’s nations.

In addition to his bachelor’s degree, John earned his master of divinity and doctor of ministry degrees. He has also been awarded eight honorary doctorates.

John identifies his mission in life as adding value to leaders who multiply value to others. A gifted communicator with a fantastic sense of humor, John enjoys connecting with people both in large audiences and one-on-one. His signature style is to communicate timeless principles with clarity, simplicity, and fun.

John and Margaret have two married children and five grandchildren. They live in the United States and spend as much time as they can with their family.

About John C. Maxwell

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678.225.3300

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