Beverly Hills Life Coach Leslie Jo Saul Talks Getting Past Facebook Envy
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Transcript of Beverly Hills Life Coach Leslie Jo Saul Talks Getting Past Facebook Envy
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WHAT IS FACEBOOK ENVY? By Leslie Jo Saul, Beverly Hills Life Coach December 18, 2013 Because I’m a Hypnotherapist and NLP Life Coach, family and friends are always sending me articles they think I might find interesting or funny. One friend sent me a satirical article from The Onion recently that gave me quite a laugh. The headline reads, “Report: Everyone Starting New Exciting Stage Of Life Except You.” An excerpt: “’Our results indicate that those around you are all turning a new leaf, moving forward to face a fresh challenge, and embarking on periods of immense personal and professional growth, while you on the other hand are in a phase of total stagnation, if not regression,’ said head researcher Dr. James Messemer, adding that the data also suggests that everyone sees the clear contrast between those who are really blossoming by moving on to meet a new opportunity and you, an individual perceived as being stuck in a rut, left behind, or simply someone who has already reached their potential.” Have you felt this way lately? With the advent of the Facebook newsfeed, and other forums like it, you are often bombarded all day with the various activities and accomplishments of friends near and far, close and casual. Sometimes your life just doesn’t seem to be quite so shiny.
And yet, The Onion’s joke works because deep down we all feel this way. Take it from a Life Coach–we all measure our success and our happiness against the perceived success and happiness of our peers, and the truth is our perceptions can be very misleading. We are attracted to Facebook because it allows us to craft our image and control how people see us, and then we forget that everyone else is doing this too. I call it Facebook Envy, and it isn’t always avoidable
but it is manageable! Here’s what I tell my clients.
First, you have to remind yourself that it’s human nature to feel envy or jealousy, that it doesn’t make you a bad person. In fact, admitting these negative feelings to yourself takes a lot of honesty and strength.
Second, think about the person who posted status or photo. Are they a good friend of yours? Do you want them to be happy? Sometimes on a bad day or under bad circumstances, resentfulness can be the first thing that bobs to the surface, and that’s okay, but is there something positive in there as well? Are you proud of your friend’s achievement? Are you glad their hard work and determination paid off, or that luck decided to bless them this time around? In truth, you probably feel positive
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and negative emotions at the same time, and managing Facebook Envy is about giving yourself the time to feel the positive emotions fully.
Third, remind yourself that although a picture may tell a thousand words, the words are not always true! The photo or post you’re seeing is not necessarily representative of anyone else’s internal state of mind, and when it comes down to it, state of mind is really what it’s all about. Success can take on many forms, and it can’t always fit in a profile picture or a two-‐sentence status.
Fourth, forget about Facebook for a second and take a look at your life on its own merits. Do you have the majority of your needs met? Do you have people around who care about you? Are you being challenged and challenging yourself on a daily or weekly basis? If the answer is yes, then you’re fine! If it’s no, then maybe it’s time to make a change. Either way, try not to stress about things you can’t control because that won’t get you anywhere.
Fifth, if there’s a particular Facebook friend whose posts tend to fill you with uncontrollable bad vibes, maybe it’s time to unfriend, unfollow, or block them. You don’t deserve to be filled with negative emotions every time you get online. You’re better than that, I guarantee it!
Leslie Jo Saul is a Certified Master Neuro-‐Linguistic Life Coach (MNLP) and Clinical Hypnotherapist (C.ht). Leslie received her diploma in Healing and Success Arts and Sciences from Bennett Stellar University, an internationally recognized school of Life Coaching, with emphasis in relationships and certifications in the additional areas of DreamSculpting®, TimeLine Regression & Trauma Release, Hypnosis Mastery, and Communications and Life Mastery.