BELONGING TOGETHER

Exploring Cross-Cultural Conflict

Dr Lia Dong ShimadaSuperintendents’ Conference 2012

What are your images of conflict?

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Conflict = Difference +

Tension

Conflict is…

NormalInevitablePotentially HelpfulTransformative

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Conflict and Culture

Who are you in a conflict? What shapes your response? What do you bring?

What are your gifts and skills?What is your ‘baggage’?

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Some helpful tools

• Externalise• Reframe• Re-write • Reflect

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Externalising• “The problem is the problem” (not the

person)• What effect is it having? • What is it costing you/us?• How much power does it have over us? • How is it interfering with our best

intentions?

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Reframing• Shift statements: • Position Issue• Complaints Requests• “But” “And”

• Neutralising:• “It sounds like…” • “I am hearing”• Non-defensive responses

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Writing New Narratives• How far do you think this conflict can

go? • Are the effects acceptable to us? • What steps can we take to diminish

its power?• Have there been times when we have

not been so captured by conflict?

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Writing New Narratives• What do you want this relationship to

look like? • How would we handle this in our best

moments? • What does it mean to hear her/him/us

speak with understanding?• What difference does it make to be

heard?

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Reflect• “Reaching agreement” vs

“Finding a way to go on” • How has this conflict /

conversation helped us to grow?