Chapter 9 Life in the Industrial Age 1800-1914 Pages 296-322.
Bell Work Read textbook pages 320-323 “Conflict Resolution Skills” Check out the “Did you...
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Transcript of Bell Work Read textbook pages 320-323 “Conflict Resolution Skills” Check out the “Did you...
Bell Work
Read textbook pages 320-323
“Conflict Resolution Skills”
Check out the “Did you know?”
on pages 321 & 322
Conflict Resolution
Definition: The process of ending a conflict by cooperating and problem solving
Objectives1. Define tolerance.
2. Define negotiation.
3. Name & describe the 3 ways to handle a conflict.
– Passive, aggressive & assertive
4. Explain why “I” statements are an effective way to communicate.
Preventing Conflict
• Tolerance– Accepting others’ differences & allowing them
to be who they are without expressing disapproval
TB 321
Solving a Conflict
• Negotiation– Process in which compromising is used to
reach agreement• Talking, listening, considering other person’s point of
view, compromising• No blaming
TB 322
Responding to Conflicts
1. Aggressive– Bully
2. Assertive– Leader
• High self esteem
• Admits mistakes
3. Passive– Follower
• Low self esteem
• “You” statements– Nothing solved– Have to get THEIR way
• “I” statements– Best chance of resolution– Willing to compromise &
say sorry
• Little/nothing said– Nothing solved, give in– Never stick up for yourself
TB 306-307
Communication Skills
I Statements
You idiot!
How to use an I statementIt is a verbal message!
I feel ______________________
when ______________________
because ___________________.
I’d like/I want _______________.
Would you consider _________
___________________________?
Identify feelings
and situation
Give an example solution
(compromise)
Think about what the other person would want… put yourself in their shoes.
EXAMPLEParents won’t let you out past 10
I feel untrusted
when I can’t go out after 10
because I’ve been well behaved.
I’d like/I want to try and compromise.
Would you consider letting me stay out until 11?
How to avoid “you”…
• When you keep bothering me
• When I am distracted
• Because you always make me
• Because I’m made to
Turn it into…
Turn it into…
Example Conflicts• Getting picked on by classmates or friends• Seeing someone else get picked on• Chores• Computer usage • Girl/boyfriend wants to spend every day
with you• Not allowed to go somewhere• Clothes/hair• Curfew• Cell phone (bill…)
Example Conflicts• A person is saying “you’re stupid.”• You witness a person telling someone they’re
stupid• Your brother does not have to do as many chores
as you do.• Your sister won’t let you on the computer.• Your girlfriend wants to spend every day with you.• You’re being picked on for being small.• Your parents will not let you go to a school dance.• You don’t like that a friend of yours keeps poking
fun at you.• Your parents won’t let you wear certain clothes on
the weekend or do your hair a certain way.
Now you try…Your parents will not let go somewhere.Concert, dance, mall, friend’s house…
I feel ______________
when ____________________________________
because _________________________________.
I’d like/I want _____________________________.
Would you consider ________________________
_______________________________________?
Use a feeling word (upset, let down, sad, disappointed)
Explain the situation in detail & avoid “you”
Explain feelings and how it affects you (sympathy line)
“it is important to me.”“it hurts my feelings.”
“to compromise.”“to fix our misunderstanding.”“talk about this tonight.”“be friends again.”
Ideas/solutions to fix the conflict. Be specific!! Both people must be okay with the suggestion.
I feel
when
because
I’d like/I want
Would you consider
What is the importance of each line in an I Statement?
Use a feeling word (upset, let down, sad, disappointed)
Explain the situation in detail & avoid “you”
Explain feelings and how it affects you (sympathy line)
“it is important to me.”“it hurts my feelings.”
I feel
when
because
What is the importance of each line in an I Statement?
“to compromise.”“to fix our misunderstanding.”“talk about this tonight.”“be friends again.”
Ideas/solutions to fix the conflict. Be specific!! Both people must be okay with the suggestion.
I’d like/I want
Would you consider
What is the importance of each line in an I Statement?
Important Elements Of An I Statement
I feel identify a feeling (upset, sad, disappointed)
when describe the situation in detail & avoid you
because explain feelings to get their sympathy
I’d like/I want ideas of what to say here: fix our
misunderstanding, talk about this tonight, compromise, to be friends again…
Would you consider an idea/solution/compromise to fix/improve the conflict. It must be specific & something both people would agree to.
How to use an I statementIt is a verbal message!
I feel ______________________
when ______________________
because ___________________.
I’d like/I want _______________.
Would you consider _________
___________________________?
Identify feelings
and situation
Give an example solution
(compromise)
EXAMPLEYour friend is dating your
X-girl/boyfriend
I feel angry
when I see you with so-and-so
because we spent lots of time together.
I’d like/I want some time to heal.
Would you consider waiting a few weeks to see each other?
Why use I statements?
anger
you statements
violencehate
I statements
I statements
I statementsI statements
I statements
True/False1. True False I statements prevent people from trying
to guess why you are mad.
2. True False Tolerance is accepting others differences without expressing disapproval.
3. True False I statements should involve a compromise.
4. True False Passive people always have to get their way.
5. True False Negotiation is a method to prevent conflicts.
6. True False I Statements are always effective in solving conflicts.
7. True False Assertive people use a sincere tone of voice when discussion a conflict.
8. True False I statements are only shared with the friends of the person you are upset with.
9. True False You have no control over how the other person responds in a conflict situation.
10. True False A compromise is when both people are comfortable with a solution to a
problem.
11. True False The word “you” is considered to be an assertive term.
Your parents will not let you take the train to a mid-day concert in Chicago this weekend with your friends and two adults. You want to go and are going to try an “I statement” to resolve the conflict.
I feel disappointed
When I couldn’t go to the concert in Chicago
Because I’m responsible.
I’d like/I want to compromise.
Would you consider letting me go if I call you twice?
1.
2.
I feel angry
When you won’t let me go to the concert
Because I never get to go anywhere.
I’d like/I want you to reconsider.
Would you consider letting me go?
I feel not trusted
When I can’t go to the concert with 2 adults
Because I can take care of myself.
I’d like/I want to go to the concert.
Would you consider letting me go to the concert?
3.
4.
I feel left out
When I am not able to go to the concert with my friends
Because I know they’re going to have a good time.
I’d like/I want to compromise.
Would you consider letting me go if I am home by 10 pm?
1. In you’re opinion, which I statement is the best? Why?
2. Which statement is the most aggressive? Why?
3. Which statement(s) do not provide a solution or compromise?
4. In which statement does the person just keep repeating themselves?
Will they always work?
• No– You can’t control other people
• But…– You’ve tried your best to resolve conflict in an
assertive way
– Helps your self-esteem• Feel good
– Might make the person think more about situation
– Didn’t escalate problem • Add to the fire