Behaviour for Learning (understanding people [s feelings) Sensitivity (picking up on people [s...

1

Contents

p. 1 an introduction

pp. 2-20 – Phase 1: Readiness to Learn

pp. 21-34 – Phase 2: Emotional Control

© Richard Lindo 2014

2

Introduction

‘Behaviour for Learning’ is a small student-centred handbook.

The handbook is designed as ready-made resource to use with students to help

them better understand and manage their behaviour.

The B4L handbook is most effective in a one-to-one situation where a member

of staff can sit down with a student and take them through the handbook.

Chunking the activities into different sessions will help students to learn one

strategy at a time and not feel overloaded.

Used consistently, the B4L has a proven impact on student behaviour and

successful re-integration into lessons.

3

Behaviour for Learning

Phase 1- Readiness to Learn

Contents

Part One – Readiness-to-Learn: an introduction

Part Two – My Behaviour

Part Three – My Attitude

Part Four – My Targets

4

Part One

Readiness-to-Learn: an introduction

1. What is Readiness-to-Learn…?

Readiness-to-Learn is a map of skills which improves your behaviour.

2. How will it help me to learn…?

The chart includes five coloured strands. The strands follow the order as

laid out above. Each strand includes skills you need to behave well in

lessons. For example, the first skill in the pink strand is ‘Listening’. If you

learn how to listen properly in lessons, you will find lessons easier.

5

Task 1 – tick one strand you need to improve (e.g. Emotional Intelligence)

Empathy (understanding people’s feelings)

Sensitivity (picking up on people’s moods)

Sympathy (caring about other people)

Dignity (respecting yourself and other people)

Humility (being polite and being able to say ‘sorry’)

Relativity (being open-minded and not narrow-minded)

Listening (looking at the speaker and sitting still)

Gesture (calm, non-threatening body-language)

Tone (calm, polite tone-of-voice)

Praise (praising others / using positive language)

Humour (using humour to build relationships – not sarcasm)

Engaging (including your friends – not excluding them)

Desire (setting yourself goals/targets to achieve)

Drive (being determined to achieve your goals)

Resilience (being ‘mentally tough’ in the face of obstacles)

Stamina (having ‘mental reserves’ when you’re tired/frustrated)

Confidence (believing you ‘can’ achieve)

Pride (having a positive self-image – your self-esteem)

Operating (staying on task in lessons – not getting distracted)

Arriving (arriving on time to lessons and lining up quietly)

Organising (having the right equipment for every lesson)

Recording (writing down homework quickly and accurately)

Revising (having effective revision strategies – knowing how to revise)

Performing (knowing how to get ‘in the zone’ for exams/tests)

Relationship Skills

Motivation

Time-and-Motion

Emotional Intelligence

6

Task 2 – tick the two skills in the strand you think you need to improve.













Desire (setting yourself goals/targets to achieve)

Drive (being determined to achieve your goals)

Resilience (being ‘mentally tough’ in the face of obstacles)

Stamina (having ‘mental reserves’ when you’re tired/frustrated)

Confidence (believing you ‘can’ achieve)

Pride (having a positive self-image – your self-esteem)

Operating (staying on task in lessons – not getting distracted)

Arriving (arriving on time to lessons and lining up quietly)

Organising (having the right equipment for every lesson)

Recording (writing down homework quickly and accurately)

Revising (having effective revision strategies – knowing how to revise)

Performing (knowing how to get ‘in the zone’ for exams/tests)

Relationship Skills

Motivation

Time-and-Motion


7

Task 3 – think about how you could change these two skills and who could

help you.

Use the explanations next to each skill to help you.

For example, if you chose ‘listening’ and ‘tone’ from the

‘Relationships’ strand, you could say:

Task 4 – The Mood Mountain

‘The Mood Mountain’ is based on four levels of feelings. It

explains how people feel when others behave badly towards

them. Each time people behave badly, they destroy the mood of

others and send them down ‘The Mood Mountain’.

Task:

1. Think about the people who were affected by your recent behaviour.

2. What level of ‘The Mood Mountain’ were these people on before you

displayed poor behaviour…?

3. What level were they on after you displayed poor behaviour…?

“In my next lesson, I’ll listen better by looking at the

teacher and sitting still. I’ll make sure my tone of

voice is calm and polite so I don’t disturb the learning

of others.”

8

Task 5 – The Trauma Triangle

The ‘Trauma Triangle’ explains what happens to us when we get upset.

Trauma is the ‘emotional scars’ of bad experiences.

Bad experiences ‘trigger’ our emotional scars. This makes us upset/angry.

Task:

1. Draw your own ‘Trauma Triangle’ (like the one in the picture).

2. In the space in triangle, write down what you feel when you’re told

off.

Point: When you behave badly, you put people in ‘The Trauma Triangle’.

Told off

Upset Left out

Angry

A

nn

oy

ed

Us

ele

ss

I switch off

9

Task 6 – Quiz

This quiz will test your understanding of Part One.

Question 1: What are the 5 strands of Readiness-to-Learn?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Question 2: Do the Readiness-to-Learn strands have a specific order?

Yes/No (circle the right answer)

Question 3: Can you explain Readiness-to-Learn in your own words?

For example: ‘Readiness-to-Learn is about…’

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Question 4: What’s ‘The Mood Mountain’?

For example: ‘The Mood Mountain explains…’

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Question 5: What’s ‘The Trauma Triangle’?

For example: ‘The Trauma Triangle helps me to understand…’

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

© Kija Ltd 2013

10

Part Two

My behaviour: an introduction

The main reason you are in INTEX is because of your behaviour. This section

will help you to understand the reasons for your behaviour. To behave well,

you need to use certain skills well (below). The more of these skills you know

and use, the better your behaviour will be.

The image (below) shows you a ‘behaviour ladder’.

The ladder starts at the bottom with Emotional Intelligence. All good behaviour

begins with emotional intelligence.








11

Task 1 -using the chart below, tick the one skill you think you need to use

improve your behaviour (e.g. empathy)







Task 2 - write one sentence explaining why you need to use this skill (e.g.

empathy) to improve your behaviour. You can start your sentence like this:

I need to use the skill of __________ because I put myself first too much in

lessons.

If I use the skill of __________ more I’ll get on better with my teacher.

When I talk to people I don’t show a lot of ___________ for how they’re

feelings which makes me seem insensitive.

Write your own sentence on the line below:

Empathy Sensitivity Sympathy Dignity Humility Relativity

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________


12

The second part of the ‘behaviour ladder’ is relationship skills. A major part of

good behaviour is building good relationships with people.







Task 3 – describe a situation (in or out of school) where not having a

relationship skill (e.g. listening) has got you into trouble. You can start your

sentence like this:

In my English lessons, I get into trouble a lot because I don’t ______________

which means I interrupt the lesson a lot.

At home, I get told off a lot for being rude and having a poor __________ of

voice.

Relationship Skills

13

My tutor has told me that my ____________ makes me seem aggressive just

by the way I point and look at people.

Write your own sentence on the line below:

Listening Gesture Tone Praise Humour Engaging

________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________

Task 4 – below is an image of the learning brain. You’ll see the letters EQ.

EQ = emotional intelligence (the six red skills on page 11). You’ll also see the

letter RS. RS = relationship skills (the pink skills on page 11). Without turning

back and checking in the booklet, how many of these skills can you remember?

Write down your answers here. For example:

EQ skills are: empathy, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________

RS skills are: listening, ________, ________, ________, ________, ________

EQ EQ

EQ EQ EQ EQ RS RS

RS RS RS RS

14

Task 5 – Quiz

This quiz will test your understanding of Part Two.

Question 1: What are the 5 levels of the ‘behaviour ladder’?

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Question 2: Does the ‘behaviour ladder’ have a specific order?

Yes/No (circle the right answer)

Question 3: Can you name the six emotional intelligence skills?

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Question 4: Can you name the six relationships skills?

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

______________________________________________________

Question 5: Which two skills are going to improve your behaviour?

Skill 1: _____________________

Skill 2: _____________________

15

Part Three

My attitude: an introduction

Attitude can be different to behaviour. You can behave in lessons but have a

negative attitude. Here are some examples:

Poor behaviour: not following instructions, calling out, being rude, disrupting

Poor attitude: not trying your best, saying “I can’t do it” before you’ve tried

This section helps you to understand that attitude is as important as behaviour

and, without a positive attitude, you are unable to learn and get along with

people.

The image (below) shows you ‘The Manners Matrix’.

Respect

“I’m polite”

Responsibility

“I’m sorry”

Readiness

“I’m prepared”

Reflection

“I should have”

Task 1 – using the image of ‘The Manners Matrix’ (above) tick the

areas you think you already have (e.g. respect)

Task 2 – now circle the areas you don’t have (e.g. readiness)

Task 3 – write a sentence explaining how your behaviour would

improve by using the areas from ‘The Manners Matrix’ you don’t use. E.g.

If I took responsibility for things, I’d be able to say sorry more easily and

stop falling out with people.

16

We all have a ‘default’ attitude. Your ‘default’ attitude is your typical attitude.

A negative attitude is based one of three negative behaviour patterns.

Look at the image of the three negative behaviour patterns (below):

Task 4 – tick the negative behaviour patterns you think you have

Task 5 – tick the positive behaviour pattern you think you need the most

Negation

“I’m rubbish”

Denial

“I didn’t”

Avoidance

“I can’t”

Validation

“I’m valued”

Acceptance

“Okay, I did it”

Addressing

“I need to”

17

Task 6 – write a sentence explaining how your behaviour would improve by

using your positive behaviour pattern. Example:

I usually give up as soon as things get hard. Instead of avoiding things and

saying “I can’t”, I need to address difficult things better and realise that I

need to fight through things I find difficult to improve in lessons and to sort

‘fall outs’ with friends.

18

Task 7 – Quiz

This quiz will test your understanding of Part Three.

Question 1: What are the 4 parts of ‘The Manners Matrix’?

1.

2.

3.

4.

Question 2: What are the three negative patterns?

1.

2.

3.

Question 3: What are the three positive behaviour patterns?

1.

2.

3.

19

Part Four

My targets: an introduction

Go back to Part Two ‘My Behaviour’. Write down the skill you chose to focus

on in the box below (e.g. empathy)

Go back to Part Three ‘My Attitude’.

1. write down the area of ‘The Manners Matrix’ you chose to focus on (e.g.

respect)

2. write down the positive behaviour pattern you chose to focus on (e.g.

acceptance)

The skill I need to focus on is:


The area of ‘The Manners Matrix’ I need to focus on is:


The positive behaviour pattern I need to focus on is:


20

‘Bottle’ what you’ve

learned

In the space, write

down what you’ve

learned in words

and phrases

The Manners Matrix

Empathy

Readiness to

Learn

Responsibility

The Mood Mountain

Tone of voice

21

Behaviour for Learning

Phase 2 – Emotional Control

22

Contents Page

Part One – Introduction

Part Two – Behaviour Patterns

Part Three – Trauma Triggers

Part Four – Managing Emotional Storms

23

Introduction

Phase 2 of ‘Behaviour for Learning’ looks at your Emotional Control.

Emotional Control looks at the reasons you feel angry, frustrated, upset and

how you can control these feelings better.

Phase 2 builds on Phase 1.

Phase 1 was about your ‘Readiness to Learn’. ‘Readiness to Learn’ looked at

good you were in and out of the classroom.

Phase 2 will look at how well you control your emotions in and out of school.

There are three parts to this booklet:

1. Behaviour Patterns (how you behave and why)

2. Trauma Triggers (the things that set you off)

3. Managing Emotional Storms (learning how to calm down)

At the end of this booklet you should understand the reasons for your

behaviour better. You should have ways of controlling your behaviour.

Look at the grid below. Circle five words which describe how you feel now.

angry upset guilty blamed sad

frustrated hyper depressed tearful annoyed shame ignored punished alone scared

24

angry

upset

guilty frustrated

annoyed

Please turn over when you’ve finished this page.

Now put the five words which describe how you feel in the five circles. (Look at

the example below.)

angry upset guilty blamed sad

frustrated hyper depressed tearful annoyed shame ignored punished alone S cared

Put your five words into the five empty circles (below).

25

frustrated

annoyed

angry

guilty

upset

Put your five words into the blank chart below. Put your strongest feeling at

the top. Put your weakest feeling at the bottom.

Now put your five words into an order. The top word = the strongest feeling.

The bottom word = weakest feeling. (Look at the example below.)

26

Now you are going to fill in a simple graph to help you see what you feel. Look

at the example below. The five feelings have been displayed to show the

strongest (i.e. frustrated in red) and the weakest (i.e. upset in yellow).

Look at the graph below. You will see blank spaces under each bar. Fill in the

blank spaces with your five words. The strongest feeling goes under the

highest bar. The weakest feeling goes under the smallest bar.

Frustrated Annoyed Angry Guilt Upset

0

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

My Feelings

Frustrated

Annoyed

Angry

Guilt

Upset

__________ __________ __________ __________ __________

0

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

My Feelings

__________

__________

__________

__________

__________

27

Why do we feel these feelings? “Shame, guilt, blame” explained.

All of our negative feelings are rooted in feelings of shame, guilt or blame.

Shame, guilt and blame are our first negative feelings as young children.

Safety, love and belonging are our first positive feelings as young children.

All of our negative feelings are based on one core feeling. This feeling is called

negation. Negation means feeling bad.

All of our positive feelings are based on one core feeling. This feeling is called

validation. Validation means feeling valued.

Bad feelings and bad behaviour

We behave badly when we have bad feelings. As soon as we have a bad feeling

it triggers other bad feelings. This is called ‘the negation needle’. ‘The negation

needle’ explains the feeling of being pricked by bad feelings which upset us.

The picture below explains the ‘ripple effect’ of bad feelings.

Upset

Guilt

Angry

Annoyed

Frustrated

Negation

28

The image below explains what happens inside us when bad feelings build up.

We end up behaving badly, being rude, walking away, answering back or

exploding.

What you’re going to learn now is a way to stop bad feelings making you

behave badly. This is called emotional control.

You are now ready to take the quiz for this section.

Upset

Guilt

Angry

Annoyed

Frustrated

Negation

29

Quiz - Section 1

3. Explain the ‘ripple effect’ of bad feelings. There are six feelings in

total. The first one has been completed for you.

1. Negation (not feeling valued)

2. ____________________

3. ____________________

4.____________________

5.____________________

6.____________________

1. All of our negative feelings are rooted in three core feelings. The first

one has been filled in for you. Can you name the other two...?

1. Shame

2. _____________

3. _____________

2. All of our positive feelings are rooted in three core feelings. The first

one has been filled in for you. Can you name the other two...?

1. Safety

2. _____________

3. _____________

30

Part Two – Behaviour Patterns

The diagram (below) explains your behaviour patterns. We all have positive (+)

and negative (-) behaviour patterns.

Now we’re going to look at how negative behaviour patterns can affect you.

Behaviour Patterns

- Behaviour Patterns

Negation

Expecting the worst

Avoidance

Hiding from things

Denial

Not owning up

+ Behaviour Patterns

Validation

Seeing the positive

Addressing

Facing up to things

Acceptance

Owning up

Negative Behaviour Patterns

Negation

Expecting the worst

When you expect the

worst, you see negative

things that aren’t

actually there. Like

thinking you’re being

told off when you’re

not.

Avoidance

Hiding from things

Because negation

makes you expect the

worst, you overact to

things. To avoid these

negative feelings, you

often walk away, shut

down.

Denial

Not owning up

Avoiding negative

feelings is your way of

making your anger go

away. In this state of

frustration, you will

deny you’re upset if

you’re asked about it.

1 2 3

31

Trauma

bad experience

Memories

of other bad experiences

Mood

bad feelings

Reactions

bad behaviour

Reframing

looking back

Repairing

letting go

Now we’re going to look at how positive behaviour patterns can help you.

You’ve looked at how positive behaviour patterns can help you. Now you’re

going to look at the positive behaviour cycle.

Positive Behaviour Patterns

Validation

Seeing the positive

Validation is having a

mindset which sees the

positive in things. So if

something goes wrong,

you think about the

good things you can

learn from it.

1 Addressing

Facing up to things

Once you start to

address (face up to)

things, you realise

that any anger quickly

goes away. Anger is

caused by not facing

up to things.

2 Acceptance

Owning up

Once you start to

address (face up to)

things, you find it

much easier to own

up to things. Owning

up is the first step in

changing behaviour.

3

The Positive

Behaviour

Cycle

1

2

3

4

5

6

32

Trauma

told off

Memories

of being told off in the

past

Mood

embarassed

worthless

Reactions

angry

upset

Reframing

"That was then, this is

now."

Repairing

letting go

The most important part of the positive behaviour cycle is reframing = ‘looking

back and letting go’. Here’s an example of reframing.

Reframing

Look again

“That was then, this

is now.”

How ‘Reframing’ stops bad behaviour

1

2

3

4

5

6

The Positive

Behaviour

Cycle

33

Reframing stops bad feelings and bad behaviour. The diagram below shows

you how reframing works. You basically re-think the situation to stop bad

feelings. When bad feelings stop, bad behaviour stops.

Reframing

Look again

“That was then,

this is now.”

34

Quiz – Section 2

1. What are the three negative behaviour patterns?

1. _____________

2. _____________

3. _____________

3. What are the three positive behaviour patterns?

1. _____________

2. _____________

3. _____________

2. What are the six steps in the positive behaviour cycle?

1. _______________

2. _______________

3. _______________

4. _______________

5.________________

6.________________

4. What is ‘reframing’?

Reframing is

_________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________

Behaviour for Learning (understanding people [s feelings) Sensitivity (picking up on people [s...

Documents

Transcript of Behaviour for Learning (understanding people [s feelings) Sensitivity (picking up on people [s...