Behavior is the Clue, NOT the Problem - childnow.org · Behavior is the Clue, NOT the Problem •...
Transcript of Behavior is the Clue, NOT the Problem - childnow.org · Behavior is the Clue, NOT the Problem •...
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Behavior is the Clue, NOT the Problem
Trina Westerlund, Founder
Est. 1977
www.CHILDnow.org (206) 232-8680
February 26, 2013 LWSD PTSA Special Needs Group
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Behavior is the Clue, NOT the Problem
• #1: self regulation (body, thoughts, emotions) • Anxiety, sensory interference, school
avoidance, reactive and disruptive behaviors. • Meltdown or shut
down--sound familiar?
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The Promise of Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS)
CPS model is effective way to: • Reduce conflict • Successfully solve problems • Teach kids the skills needed to function
adaptively in the real world
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CPS Tenet #1
Challenging behavior is viewed as the byproduct of lagging cognitive skills including: • Flexibility/adaptability • Frustration tolerance • Problem solving
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CPS Tenet #2
• Challenges are best addressed by teaching children the skills they lack
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CPS Tenet #3
• Reduce challenging episodes by collaboratively solving the problems before they escalate – Students who learn additional skills don’t need to
challenge as much – See challenging behavior as indicator there is a
missing skill—less of a toll on child’s self-esteem
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Skills That May Be Lagging
• Regulating emotion • Expressing concerns and needs • Handling transitions • Being flexible, not “stuck” • Seeing other points of view • Thinking of multiple solutions • Being able to wait, plan in sequence, complete
a task
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When Key Skills are Missing
• Crying, kicking, hitting, spitting, screaming, throwing, breaking, running, hiding, yelling, swearing, etc. Sound familiar?
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CPS Defines Three Approaches
When a child does not meet expectations: • Plan A (Adult): Impose adult will – “I’ve
decided…” • Plan C (Child): Drop it for now, give a reprieve
on the expectation • Plan B (Both): Teach skills and solve problems
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Plan A: Imposing Will
• “No” • “You must” • “You can’t” • “You better stop or…” Plan A = adult expectations Does not teach skills or create durable, mutually satisfactory solutions
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Plan A: Imposing Will
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Plan C: Drop It (for now, at least)
• Reduces challenging behaviors in the moment • Builds relationships – child feels you
understand how hard it is for him • Can be used as part of overall strategy for a
highly explosive child
Does not pursue adult expectations, teach skills or create a durable solution
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Plan B: The Heart of CPS
• Plan B teaches skills and solves problems • Plan B helps adult and child stay calm enough
to think • Includes expressing needs, wants, and
concerns • Takes into account the other’s point of view • Results in realistic, mutually satisfactory and
durable solutions to problems
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Step 1. Empathy and Reassurance
• Child’s concerns expressed • Child is reassured that adult won’t resort to
Plan A (impose adult will) • Both child and adult feel and calmer • Slows down adult impatience and desire to
DO something right now
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Step 2. Define the Problem
• Identifies and summarizes both the adult’s and the child’s specific concerns
• Makes it clear there are two concerns to be reconciled
• Honors both points of view as worthy of consideration
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Step 3. Invitation
• “I wonder if there’s a way…” • “Let’s see if we can figure this out together” • “How can we make it work for you and for me?” • “Have you got any ideas?”
*Note: don’t be a genius! Key: solution must be feasible, doable, and mutually satisfactory
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Children’s Institute for Learning Differences 2012
ABC Chart
PLAN Pursue Expectations
Reduce Meltdowns
Teach Skills
A Adult imposes will on
child
B Both collaborate on
finding a solution
C Child’s perspective:
Expectations are reduced or removed
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Behavior is the Clue, Not the Problem
Meltdowns, tantrums, explosions and shutdowns: consider each as code language
• “Something critical is missing for me in the
moment” and • “I don’t know how to do what you’re asking
(expecting) me to do” • and • ”I’m giving you all I’ve got” “This is how I cope”
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Dead-End Explanations
- “he just wants attention” - “he just wants his way” - “he’s just manipulating us” - “he’s just unmotivated” - “he’s making bad/poor choices”
These explanations indicate that thinking has stopped and judgment has set in. So, what if we used the ALSUP instead to clearly distinguish skills from problems?
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What’s the ALSUP?
• Hand-out • The Assessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved
Problems (ALSUP) • Missing skills check list • Essential tool for the true unsolved problem
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Results Worth Examining
• Fewer explosions, more self-regulation • Those missing social skills began to build
relationships • Overall less dependent on our supports • Better prepared to return to their home
districts
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Adopting New Models Takes Work
• New ways of looking at challenging behavior • Some out-of-the-box thinking • Some time to learn new skills • We’ve adopted the model successfully, and
you can, too
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Worth Every Effort
• What are children really saying with challenging behavior? – Notice me! – I’m trying to tell you what I need! – I don’t have a clue how to do this school stuff. – Why do you keep doing and saying the same
thing? – How come you never ask me what I think? – Am I broken?
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Next Steps
• Plan B is the key: Learn about Collaborative Problem Solving
• Try it in baby steps with your child(ren) • Come see it action at our school during a tour
Children do well if they can, let’s help them.
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Resources
• Website: www.livesinthebalance.org – Streaming video examples of Plan B in action – Seminars, consultation, clinical services, articles, research, videos and
DVDs • Books:
– Lost at School, Ross W. Greene, Ph.D. – The Explosive Child, Ross W. Greene, Ph.D. – Opening Our Arms, Kathy Regan
• CHILD: – Website: www.CHILDnow.org – Phone: (206) 232-8680
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Appendix
• Plan B Cheat Sheet • Assessment of Lagging Skills & Unsolved Problems (ALSUP)