Beano - 09 05 2020
36
ALSO INSIDE... 09-May-20 19 9770262246256 AUS $5.40, NZ $6.00 £2.75 Competitions open to UK and R bli fI l d id t SNACK ATTA C K PUZZLE K CK E! Republicof Ireland residents only, unless otherwise stated. CHECK THESE JOKES! YETI TRENDS ONLINE!
Transcript of Beano - 09 05 2020
ALSOINSIDE...
09-May-20
19
9770262246256
AUS $5.40, NZ $6.00 £2.75
Competitions
opento
UKand
Rbli
fIl
did
t
SNACKATTACKPUZZLE
KCKE!
RepublicofIreland
residentsonly,unless
otherwisestated.
CHECKTHESEJOKES!
YETITRENDSONLINE!
The answer is somewhere in this comic!
The funniest enrty will be chosen by the Beano editor. Please see page 35 for important details There’s a festival held every year in Spain called ‘La Tomatina’ where people throw tomatoes at each other!
ALL YOUNEED TODO ISANSWER THIS QUESTION!
Next week, itcould be YOU!
Who starts thefood fight in TheBash Street Kids?
Email your answer to: [email protected]
#SOBeano?
Make sureyou tell us:
Your name, date of birth, your parent orguardian’s name, phone number and email!
Your all-timefavourite joke!
The answer tothe question!
WANT TO BE
Theansw
ertolastweek’s
questionwas
Tricky
Dicky!
E
WOR
DS:G
race
Balfo
ur-Harle
ART:
Rianne
Rowlands
Don’tforget toincludea photo
too!
you’ll get to pickthe best jokes
and pranks, awardsomeone the
golden #sobeano,read the comicstrips before
anyone else andloads more!
321
tell themwhat happens
if they’rechosen to be
#sobeano,Freddie!
STOP PRESS! Weall want our towns to be like Beanotown again – and ASAP! But, for as long as thegovernment asks us, please stay at home, protect our NHS and save lives. – Ed (April 2020)
STOP PRESS! Weall want our towns to be like Beanotown again – and ASAP! But, for as long as thegovernment asks us, please stay at home, protect our NHS and save lives. – Ed (April 2020)
FREDDIE FROM EDINBURGH IS... #SOBeano
hi! i’m fiery freddieand i’m #sobeano
this week!
i love building things!you can build anything
with lego! i’ve builtbuckingham palace, big benand even the eiffel tower!
i can giveit a go!
in the park...in class...this plan had
all the buildingblocks of genius!
That’s so cool! Do youthink you could build
models of us?
done! what areyou going to do
with them?
you’ll see!
in 1066... battle ofhastings... blah...
blah... blah...
We’re modelpupils now!
WOR
DS:N
igel
Auch
terlo
unie
ART:
Nige
lParkins
on
THE WORLD’SWILDEST BOY...AND HIS BEST
FRIEND!Dennis is about to try some old
toys he found in Dad’s shed...
...well out of Dad’s sight, naturally!
two scooters,gnasher! count
them! two!
i’m gonna see ifi can ride twoscooters at
once!
and...
youthink?
so... wHOA! this is harderthan you’d expect!
ow! my olddancing injury!
Where are thebrakes onthis thing?
so... back home...
NEARBY...
well, they’re all juston their games all day!
i remember when kids were allout on scooters! i worryfor the next generation!
you are the nextgeneration! thoseabandoned scooters
ARE yours!
wait for your dad to getback! he’s just popped to therepair shop with the desklamp! it could be a goodfather-son activity!
hello?!
i’m talkingto myself,aren’t i?
i don’t know, do i? likei’ve ever known whati’m gonna do next!
you need allen keysout of the shed.
why?
gasp! now i won’t beable to play the leadin the panto tonight!
i need tophone colin!
nice! now i’ve got fourwhizzy wheels, er... whaTdo i do next, gnasher?
give me asausage?
you’re right!put them on
something else! we used to beso in tune!
awesome! i’ve doneit! i’ve made a hugeskateboard fromthe shed door!
it’s whatdad would’vewanted!
dennis drags the door throughthe house to take it out to the
front for a test drive...
since when didwe have a rugin the hall?
looks like it’sabout the samesize as theshed door.
oh yeah! we gotthe rug becausei spilt that ink!
outside...
this is going tobe awesome!
we’re at the topof a hill so...
you actlike you hatethis housesometimes.
in the shed...
yeah, well, now iwanna know how toget the wheels off!
look what i founddumped in Dad’s shed!two scooters! two!
kids today!
what?!
sorry!
accident!
What goes all around theworld yet stays in the corner? A stamp!
back home...
why’ve you gotthe hall rugout on thestreet?!
uh-oh! if dad’s nothappy about the rugbeing out, he’ll fliphis biscuits over the
shed door!
dad overtakes dennis...
outside beanotown playhouse...
how is thishappening? how do i get off
this thing withouthurting myself?
...i’ve changedmy mind!
how can i be calm?! the showstarts in an hour! where am i
going to find someone to play...
...aladdin?!
he even had alamp with him! i wasn’t
imaginingthat, was i?!
where’s your dad? heonly went to the repairshop to see if he couldget that lamp fixed!
how would i know wherehe is?! i’ve got nothing todo with anything! i don’tknow why you think i do!
wait... i’ve got a text from him.he’s appearing live on stage atthe playhouse in an hour! we’ve
got free box seats!
well, there you go!mystery solved!
hey!
what?!
calm down,colin!
you shouldn’tfill her head withnonsense likethat. there’s nosuch thing as...
see ya!
better justride it out...
we’re ona hill,genius!
thatexplainsabout twopercent of
this!
shall we goand see
aladdin onhis magic
carpet at theplayhouse,
jilly?
ow!
is this myshed door?!
S l ti
Dennis and his family have all been sneaking sweet treats from the kitchenand eating them in secret... but they’ve left some behind as evidence!Circle all of the treats and crumbs you can find in the second picture.
Solution
When the person you want to
prank has a drink, they’ll juice
be shocked!Add the cheese sachet to thewater and stir well.
YOU’LL NEEDn box of cheesy pastan Water n Jug
P.R.A.N.K. FILE #66
Take the cheese sachet out
of a box of cheesy pasta.
This trick will reallycheese people off!
1Pour water into your jug.
3ui
ALLERGYAWARE!Do not try this prankwhere allergiesmay be anissue.
4
2
i can’t wait to use thison my sister and friends!
You’ve gouda briekidding! Cheesy water?
How dairy!Dicky’s gonetoo far!
WOR
DS&AR
T:Hu
ghRa
ine
What does an evil hen lay? Devilled eggs!
yeti... dad...what’s thedifference?!
- ed
LATER...
THE NEXT DAY...
that was my instatubetour of beanotown.i hope you enjoyed it.
don’t forget to like andsubscribe for more!
hang on!what’s this?some kind ofbigfoot orsomething?
hey! no videos ofmy, er... uncle! he’svery shy about his
hairy back!
that’s no uncle! oh,man! this is gonnablow up online!
peopledon’tbelievethosevideosanyway.we’ll befine, yeti.
what’sthat noiseoutside?!
arrgh! it’s a crowdof instatubers!
yo! what’s up?it’s ya boy, slaps,here to see thebeanotown yeti!
smash thatnotification
bell!
Hit me up onFaceGram!
dad! comequick! there’s
a bunchof pesky
millennialstrampling onyour lovely
lawn!
they’rewhat?!
raar! i’ve just given thatgrass a feed! graaa!
looks like iwas mistaken!it’s just anangry old
dude!
don’t forgetto give me abig thumbs
up andfollow me on
youtwit!
look, yeti! dad’strending on instatube withover three million views!
yeti got no ideawhat betty say.
look, dad!you’re
trendingon
instatubewith overthreemillionviews!
i have noidea whatyou just
said.
BABBLE!
CHATTER!
USE THIS HANDYGUIDE TOHELP TELL YOURYETIS FROMYOURBETTYS!
WOR
DS:N
edHa
rtleyAR
T:Wayne
Thom
pson
all my bananas havegone missing! someonemust have stolen them! general blight! did you
steal my bananas?
nope. i’m just trying totake over the worldwith this freeze ray.
stay still while itry to freeze you!
not now! i havemore importantthings to do
than stop worlddomination.
if general blight didn’t stealmy bananas, who did?
the heavy mob! you stealthings all the time! i betyou stole my bananas!
we spent all morningrobbing beanotown
bank! we couldn’t havestolen your bananas!
your story checksout. sorry to havebothered you!
how dare you!
no worries. bye,bananaman!
appleman! my enemywith similar powers!
you stolemy bananas,didn’t you?
there’s a banana hidden in every panel ofthis story. can you find them all? - ed
ZAp!
nee-naw!
ne
nee-naw!
Why are robots never afraid? They’ve got nerves of steel!
bananas? whywould i stealbananas? i like
apples!
apples give me more power!
ulp!
the power to punchyou for accusing me ofstealing your bananas!
oof! is it too lateto say sorry?!
this is for jumpingto conclusions
about supervillainsstealing things!
i give up! i’ll never findmy lovely bananas!
chief o’reilly! i can’tfind my bananas!
could you make it anational emergency
or something?
maybe call theprime minister?
don’t youremember,bananaman?
you stayed up late lastnight and watched ascary movie called
‘invasion of the bananasnatchers’.
you were sleep-flyingand flew around
beanotown hiding allyour bananas in casesomeone stole them!
oh yeah! now iremember! i thoughtthat was just a dream! now i’ve just
got to findthem all!
Did you find them all?There were 18 hiddenbananas in total!
i’m sorry! nexttime i’ll be more
trusting ofsupervillains!
PoW!
Zzzzz!
Can you passPokémon School?Take our tricky testand answer all thequestions correctly
to be in with achance of winning
a PS4!Tocelebratethe newseries,PokémonSun & MoonUltraAdventuresairing onPOP, we’regiving away500GB PS4! Email your answers with yourname, date of birth, parent or guardian’sname, address, telephone number andemail to: [email protected] with POPin the subject line.
WINAPS4!
n
s
a! E il i h
PS4!4!
Closing date for entries: May 20th, 2020 9:00 am (GMT). Please see page 35 for full competition details.
Download the POP player on your PS4 or watch it on:FREEVIEW 206 | YOUVIEW 206 | SKY 616 | VIRGIN 736 | FREESAT 603
ENGLISHCan you identify andspell the name of thispsychic Pokémon?
_ _ _ _ _ _
SCIENCEWhich element doesAlolan Vulpix use?
_ _ _ _ _ _
GEOGRAPHYOn which island willyou find Pokémon
School?
A. PONIB. MELEMELEC. AKALA
WATCHIT EVERYDAYAT6:30PM!
© 2020 Pokémon.
Where domermaids look for jobs? The kelp-wanted section!
WOR
DS:A
ndyFanton
ART:
LeslieStan
nage
slurp! i can’t wait tohave my frothy choccymarshmallow milkshake!it’s going to be delicious!
one frothy choccymarshmallowmilkshake for...
‘jams’?
huh?
it’s ‘james’!that’s mine! it’sfor me, james!
hmm... itdefinitely lookslike ‘jams’ to me.
...which means you’re our onemillionth customer! you winunlimited milkshakes for life!
congratulations!
wh-wh-what? wow!
maybe that old woman’s cursedidn’t work because i’m alreadyunlucky! you know, ‘cos twonegatives make a positive!
mwah-ha-ha-ha!
great! a curse!that’s all i need! wait, this does
say ‘james’...
you made me spillmy milkshake allover my nice, newevil cloak! i hereby
curse you...
...witheternalbad luck!
gulp!
i’m shocked, alex!that sort of thingdoesn’t usuallyhappen to me!
and look! a millionpound note! this really
is my lucky day!
coo! now i’vefound a cat!
leap!esme! esme!
where are you? oh no...you found my esme!maybe i was wrongabout you, lad. letme uncurse you to
say thanks!
waah! looks like myluck has changedback! curses!
knock!
hey! watch it!
Which dinosaur knows themost words? The Thesaurus!
WOR
DS&AR
T:Nige
lAuc
hterloun
ie
there’s a lot goingon in edd’s head...
it’s lunch andminnie and rogerhave sat near edd...
...which is nobig deal...
this is amassive deal! everyone
panic now!
the end of episodeone when she vampsout! i thought he wasfinished! then, woof!
he wolfs up!
i know, right?!could. not.believe. it!
two of the coolest kids inschool, and us, have watched
‘justice by moonlight’!this is it! the big leagues!
what’s the deal withminnie’s sandwich?!
it’s huge!
i think it’sthis one.
okay... okay! thenext thing that’ssaid, we massivelyagree with. waitfor it... wait!
the best bit was when thatskeleton grabbed the wolf
guy! i was like, ‘what?!’
now! hardagree!
i disagree.
or maybe that’sthe disagree
button. i alwaysmix them up.
arrgh! we blewour one chance! yeah! that was
awesome!
the best bit waswhen the ghost
says, ‘you can’t doanything, i’m a ghost.’and the vampire says,‘two words, loser!ghost bullets!’
that seemed togo all right. of course it did.
you worry toomuch about thelittle things!
have you seen it?! thething on movieflix?! thething with the fbi vampire
and the werewolf?!
of course i’veseen it! i don’t live on
mars! i’m two episodes in!
we can’t suck on thatsqueezy yoghurt forever!we saw this! we can slide
into this chat!
where’s the ‘agree’button? we need to
agree with everythingor we’re finished!
Help the Numskulls createthe ultimate sandwiches byfinding all the ingredientsin this wordsearch!
RIQH
F RH D
G GE W
C
E PY T
V SL E
H
T TU N
A J KG E
A MT G
B HC A
E
F LP R
U VF I S
S
A OG R B
B JP U
E
Z CX W
M N SI A
L
A OD F E
I QE S
I
O H MB R
E AD L U
I CE C
R EA M
G H
BREADBREAD
HAMHAM
CHEESECHEESE
BUTTERBUTTER
CHOCOLATECHOCOLATE
CRISPSCRISPS
PICKLEPICKLE
TUNATUNA
SAUSAGESAUSAGE
EGGEGG
ICECREAMICECREAM
Tick 'emoff as youfind them!
ssnnanaaacc ackk ttttaa kk!!ccak t
Solution
Why couldn’t the astronaut book a roomon themoon? It was full!
WOR
DS:D
anny
Pearso
nAR
T:Sh
anno
nGa
llant
saturday evening... in rubi’s workshop...
but...
so...
hi, rubi. you saidyou had something
to show us.
come in. it’sa surprise.
ta-da!
wow!
let me have a go!
paul and i wantto sing a duet.
did someone saykaraoke?!
if i let you haveone go, will youleave us alone?
one song is alli’ll need to getthis karaokeparty started.
erm... whatexactly is it, rubi?
this is thegreatest karaokemachine ever tohave been made!
you ain’t nothingbut a hound dog!
crying allthe time!
the karaokemachine has leftthe building.
your dad’sbrought thehouse down!
i didn’t know itcould do that!
thank you...thank youvery much.
arrgh! makehim stop!
your dad may lookthe part, but hesounds terrible!
artattack!artattack!r t ackrtattack!kAdd some rock and roll colour to this picture!
WOR
DS:N
igel
Auch
terlo
unie
ART:
DavidSu
therland
THE BASH STHE BASH S
Can you guesswhich BashStreet kid this is? - Ed
Well done if you guessed itwas actually Teacher! - Ed
thought so!i need to popout for...
a quick lie downin a dark room
with a damp clothover my eyes!
...a pen!
urrgh! i don’t wantto go to school
today!
you’d better get up!you’ll be late for
school!You have togo - you’rethe teacher!
you’re right.i guess i dohave to go in.
STREET KIDSSTREET KIDSININ
it’ll be fine.i don’t know whati’m worried about.
just because food techwent horribly wrong thelast 783,924 times doesn’tmean it’ll go wrong today!
46 secondslater... quiet! quiet!
quiet!from now on
i want total silencefrom you lot!
do i absolutely needto hear what youwant to say?!
What did the reporter say to the ice cream? ‘What’s the scoop?!’
okay, children, i’m backfrom my lie down, er...i mean getting a pen.i hope you were...
...quiet!
yes, sir!
WHAT ARE YOUDOING RIGHT NOW?
Hiding undera table!
WHAT’S THE BEST BITABOUT FOOD FIGHTS?
Everything!
Nothing!
WHAT’S THEBEST TYPE OFFOOD FORTHROWING?
Water balloons filledwith custard!
THE FOOD FIGHTHAS ENDED ANDYOU’VE BEEN TOLDTO CLEAN UP –
WHAT DO YOU DO?
WHAT’S THE MOSTDISGUSTING FOODCOMBINATION?
Give a motivatingspeech to everyone
to get themthrough it!
Overripetomatoeswith acatapult!
YOU’VE ONLYGOT APPLES LEFT– WHAT DO YOU
DO?
Eatthem!
Eat everything!
Use a tennisracket to lobthem in the air!
Fish fingersand jelly!Urrgh!
Nothing is toodisgusting!
SOMEONE HITSYOU IN THE FACEWITH A CUSTARDPIE. WHAT DOYOU DO?
Retaliate withan even biggercustard pie!
Run crying toteacher!
TEACHER’SCOMING!
WHAT NOW?
ARE YOUWHAT’S YOUR BESTATTACK STRATEGY?
Stock pilethe food!
WHAT
DID YOUSTART THEFOODFIGHT?
NO
You’re Danny – it’s your job tocreate maximum chaos andmess with cream tarts andw
You’re Fatty! No food combinationis too disgusting – your favourite
is cream pie and Olive’sBrussels sprout custard!
Unfortunately, you’re Cuthbert!All you want to do is tell Teacherthat you definitely did not start
this food fight!
ffoooodd ffiigghh !!ttWho would you be in Class 2B’s
food fight? Answer thequestions to find out!
ess with cream tarts andwater balloons filled with
custard. Genius!
YES
Eat all the foodthat’s thrown at you!
Tellhim whostarted it!
Hit him in theface with acustard pie!
START
Creating the vilestfood concoction tothrow at people!
YOU’RE
BESTFRIEND!
BESTFRIEND!
Take a picture andsend it in with your
name and home town [email protected]
No menace is completewithout their best animalbuddy! Do you have a petyou love to read Beano with?
David from Londonshares his Beano with hisleopard gecko, Sticker!
Beano ishilarious!
AMENACE’S
ESTFRIEND
Giselle from Dorset hasdrawn this superbpicture of Dennis!That’s #SOBeano!
jacob frombedfordshire’s beanobed has won my golden#sobeano this week.i would love to make abed out of my beanos,but they make melaugh toomuch!
Bones are my favouritething, but your #SOBeanopictures are a close
second. After food, andtreats, and sausages!
Check out Jacob fromRipon’s drawings of all the Beanocharacters! They’re blam-tastic!
Ellis from Macclesfield has drawn this
awesome Plug picture! It looks so much
like him that it’s sure to break mirrors!
Elliot and Oliver from London get the big
thumbs up from us for their brilliant drawing!shop.beano.com
Send your photos, jokes, drawings and letters alongwith your name, date of birth, parent or guardian’s name,
address, telephone number and email to:
#SOBeano, Beano, DC Thomson,2 Albert Square, Dundee DD1 9QJ
Are you #SOBeano?
Theeditorwill choose the letterswhichmakehim laugh themost!Pleaseseepage35 for important details.
Have you ever wanted tomake your own go-kart?With the new Beano
Builds: Go-Kart activitybook, you can makeone out of a cardboardbox! Every lucky pictureappearing on this pagehas received their veryown copy! Time to getbuilding, Menaces!
#SOB ?
fiona from the usahas reimagined me andgnasher! but i’ve stillgot my catapult andammo for maximum
menacing!
i spy withmy little eye,something
beginning with‘p’... and ‘m’...and ‘b’...
How do youlike our TrickyDicky Beanocover?
What do sharks eat for dinner? Octo-pie!
WOR
DS:N
edHa
rtley
ART:
TheSh
arpBros.
snap!must... be...
quiet!
snatcH!
later... so...
later still...
hello, class!it’s me, mrscreecher! for today’s test,
i want everyone towrite down the
codes to anybriefcases they
might own.
dan! what is themeaning of this?!
nice try!
um... gotta go!this was all a
dream! bye!
fine! you win! i’llnever get this
briefcase open. i justdon’t have the code
for the lock.
you could’ve opened itat any time. the lock
doesn’t work.
oh no! i need a code toopen this briefcase!
hey! did you take this ‘whichsuperhero are you?’ quiz
on the beano website?
question one -‘what is the code to
your briefcase?’
that’s theprefect’s secret
briefcase!it has all his evil
schemes, like plansfor uncomfortable
uniforms or banningfootball!
that’s why i only use it forholding my sandwiches.
Phew! That’sa relief!
Enter code ‘TRUMPS25’ at checkout to receive a free pack of Beano Top Trumps when you spend £25 or more at Shop.Beano.com.Offer is not valid on comic subscription purchases or delivery charges. Offer valid until Wednesday 13th May 2020 or while stock lasts.
Order at SHOP.BEANO.COM use code TRUMPS25
screec
h!
WOR
DS:A
ndyFanton
ART:
LauraHo
well
RuN!puff! beanotown
burgers’breakfast menufinishes in five
minutes! i reallywanted a big
bacon bap. i don’tthink i’ll make it
in time! puff!
need a taxi, francis?
minnie! whendid you become
a taxi driver?
dad said if i wanted any pocketmoney i had to earn it... the
usual boring grown-up stuff.anyway, hold on tight!
i said, ‘hold on tight’!waah!
can’t you slow down a bit? no way! we at‘minnie cabz’
pride ourselveson getting our
passengerswhere they want
on time!
watch out! sharp leftturn coming up!
yikes! thatmade mystomach
turn!
here you go! and withtime to spare! that’ll be
two pounds, please!
h-h-herey-you go! cheers,
francis!enjoy your
brekkie!
groo! i’m notsure i feel
hungry afterall that! bloik!
ZOOM!
ZOOM!
What does awolf saywhen they stub their paw? ‘Owwww-ch!’
WHOOSH!
screec
h!
soAr!
a little later... and...
hmph! where’smy cab? i’m
going to missmy flight atthis rate! did someone
call for a cab?
off to the airport,eh? enjoy flying?
actually, it’smy first timeand i’m really
nervous!
flying’s fine......it’s the landing you’ve
got to watch!
waah!mummy!
this’ll be far enough!i want to get off!
there you go! thank you forflying ‘minnie cabz’! chortle!
waah!
i reckon it’s timei treated myselfwith all the cashi’ve made today! being a cabbie is
pretty sweet!chuckle!
i’d better getback to work andfind more mugs...i mean, willingpassengers!
there you are, minnie! i’vehad bad reports about yourcab service so i’m herebyclamping your vehicle!
what?! that’snot fare! you’vedriven me out ofbusiness! bah!
BOunce!
later...
sigh... whatchoice do ihave? fine,you’ll do!
whizz!
so...
never! we at‘minnie cabz’ neverlet down a fare!
5
67
43
21 Start in B7 then travel EAST for one square.
Travel SOUTH one square then EAST past the poolfor TWO squares.
Follow the road SOUTH for ONE square.
TurnWEST past Bash Street Schoolfor ONE square.
Watchout! Theworld’s largest potholeis blocking your route! Reverse EASTfor ONE square.
Head SOUTH for THREE squares.
Minnie’s customer’s destination isONE square EAST.
eT
SOLUTION
YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR DESTINATION!WHICH SQUARE ARE YOU ON?
TheanswerissquareF2-thejunkyard!PooroldMinnie’staxidaysareover!
START
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Howtosignup…Ask an adult to help
Whydidn’t Smiffyfinish his breakfast? Because the orange juice told him to concentrate!
WOR
DS:D
anny
Pearso
nAR
T:Ba
rrieAp
pleb
y
it’s a quiet saturdaymorning… or is it?!
dad! somethingawful hashappened!
waah!
what on earthis wrong?!
the wi-fi is off!
so...
what do we do?!
it looks like the serviceis down. i’m sure we canfind something else todo that doesn’t need
the internet.
we can have a gameof chess. that’s100% wi-fi free.
100% no fun, too.
i need to getto dave’s. timeto play dodge
745ch.
i’ll be ready in aminute. i just need
to get my glasses.
okay, no problem.
wait a minute.roger doesn’twear glasses!
bye, dad. i cansee clearly nowthat chess just
isn’t for me.
get backhere!
arrgh! dave!what are youdoing here?
i was coming toyours because my
wi-fi is down!
mine is too.the whole townmust be offline!
an internet free daywill do you good.
Looks like checkmatefor you two! Want tocome in for a game of
chess, Dave?
...
C TH HHE HEEEC ESCCK E JO T JJJO !TOO TU KKE !E Swhat did the chessplayer say to the
waiter after his meal?‘cheque, mate!’
where do chesspieces shop?
at the pawn shop! what do a chessplayer and a dancer
have in common?they’ve both got
great moves!
what do chess pieces sayat the end of the day?
‘good knight!’
what did the judge do tothe guilty chess player?
he threw the rook at him!
why are chess piecesso uninterested?they’re part of a
bored game!
what looks likehalf a pawn?
the other half!
where do chessplayers sleep?
in a king-sized bed!
which knightalways gives up
at chess?sir render!
For new jokes
everyday
checkout
beano.com/
jokes
Which film is aboutplaying chess in a lift?The Dark Knight Rises!
Which football position is a ghost’s favourite? Ghoul keeper!
WOR
DS:D
anny
Pearso
nAR
T:Ba
rrieAp
pleb
y
very early in the morning… it’s totally worthgetting up early to cookthese before gnasherand gnipper wake up.
but...
so...
i gneed adrink ofwater.
gno way!sausagesandwich!
oh no!
did i hear somethingabout a sausage
sandwich?
he was tryingto cook a few
sneaky sausageswithout us!
doubleoh no!
get thatsandwich!
gnip!
arrgh!ha-ha! the
sandwich is mine.all mine!
gno fair.he knows wecan’t climb
trees.
nooo! mysausages!
my poor boys. i can’tbelieve he didn’t share.
here you go.
well worthgetting upearly for!
you know whatthey say, the
early dog getsthe sausage!
nooo!
those werethe last ones!
groan!
There are sausages cookingbut Gnasher is nowhere
to be seen?! - Ed
stop being sillysausages and get
back inside!
slip!
For full competition terms & conditions visit www.dctmedia.co.uk/brands/beano/ or send a stamped addressedenvelope to Beano Marketing, Competition T&C’s. D.C. Thomson, 2 Albert Square, Dundee, DD1 1DD.Competitions open 4 days prior to the issue date of the comic. You must have the permission of a parent orguardian to enter competitions and for any letters or pictures you send us - by sending us something you agreeto let us publish a copy in Beano and promise you are the creator and owner (unfortunately we are not able toreturn it). We will only use the data provided to contact winners in relation to competitions or letters, you cansee our privacy policy here www.dctmedia.co.uk/privacy-policy/. Are monsters good at maths? Only if you CountDracula! – Ed
Published in Great Britain by D.C. Thomson & Co., Ltd, 185 Fleet Street, London, EC4A 2HS. A Beano StudiosProduct. © D.C. Thomson & Co., Ltd 2020. Distributed by Frontline Ltd, Stuart House, St John’s St, Peterborough,Cambridgeshire PE1 5DD. Tel: +44 (0) 1733 555161. www.frontlinedistribution.co.uk
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SYNDICATION:[email protected]
BY POST:Beano,DC Thomson & Co., Ltd,2 Albert Square,Dundee DD1 9QJ.
EMAIL:[email protected]
EDITOR-IN-CHIEFAlexandria Turner
EDITORJohn Anderson
PRODUCTION EDITORMichelle O’Donnell
CONTENT EDITORClaire Bartlett
EDITORIALASSISTANTGrace Balfour-Harle
DESIGN EDITORLeon Strachan
GRAPHICDESIGNERSGary AitchisonMark McIlmailElaine Skinner
contact us: the comic team:
Georgia [email protected]
Tel: 0207 400 1057
ADVERTISING CONTACT:
oucanbeaMenacetoo! Email YOURMENACENAMEYOURMENACENAME to:[email protected]!
WOR
DS:N
igel
Auch
terlo
unie
ART:
Hunt
Emerso
n
MAKEMEAMENACE!
sendusabrilliant photoofyourselfwithyourmenacename!don’t forget!
Yohi! i’m carrie, but youguys can call me...
urrgh!boring! i’velearnt
kung fu, butthere areno baddiesto fight!
is the bin emptybecause youkung fu kickedit all over the
kitchen?
that’s a goodthing, carrie.stay here
while i go intothe bank.
er...
he lookssuspicious. i bethe’s gonna rob
the bank!
...don’tcome inhere!
hi-ya! you’llnot get
away with it,you baddie!
away with what?putting moneyin the bank?!
the fence absolutely hadto be kung fu’d, did it?!
gasp! a reverse robbery!
yes. luckyi was here or,
er... a bad thing!
what’sgoing onout here?
you, young lady, are on alifetime kung fu ban! you’renever to kung your fu again!
i stoppeda reverserobbery.
what?! but,but, but...
takehimaway!
i will never change my mind!
but...but...
i’vechangedmy mind!
mum! you helped thatreverse robber! areyou a baddie too?!
stoplooking forreasons todo kung fu!
mum! thebin’s full!
empty itthen!
bin’s empty!
mum explains to the policethat there’s no law againstputting money in the bank...
back home...
later...
what even isthat thing?! - ed
