[2]

BARSHA BUZZTHE 2ND ATTACK OF THE BARSHANS!

Change: the Only Constant

Nearly 5 years ago I left Dubai, I was in

second grade and I had no idea that I would

be coming back. I have followed Dubai in

the news, but nothing prepared me for the

shock of returning and seeing all of the

buildings that had been built. The biggest

surprise for me was how fast Dubai had

expanded, like an ever-filling balloon. The

new school was also a shock; it is huge, like

everything in Dubai. Ski Dubai was also a

sight to marvel at; when it was under

construction, I often wondered what it would

look like as a completed space. Now, I am

lucky enough to see it.

Although I am not as young and naive as

I was before, I still cannot believe that I am

back. I can remember the Palm being built

and seeing the huge boats hauling the sand

from the bottom of the ocean and spewing it

out on to the foundation of the Palm. It

seemed like an impossible task that would

eventually implode on itself. How could

someone really build an island in the ocean?

Now, I see that they can. The nostalgia of

being back in Dubai is overwhelming. It is

like having a new life in the city that is

almost a home to you.

From seeing the Palm as just a

construction plan to seeing the Burj Kalifa

reaching into the sky, there is only one

conclusion that I can come to: the only

constant in Dubai is change.

Renwick Brocklehurst 8th grade

[1]

Ski Dubai and it’s History

Freestyle Nights

Freestyle nights are every other Mondays. It starts from: 7:30pm - 11:00pm

On freestyle nights, Ski Dubai adds new features to hit! Go big or go home!

MONSTER ENERGY BURTON OAKLEY SALOMON

Sponsors of Ski Dubai Competitions

SKI DUBAI WAS THE FIRST INDOOR SKIING ARENA IN THE MIDDLE EAST. IT IS THE BIGGEST INDOOR SKIING ARENA IN THE

WORLD TODAY. IT IS 22,500 SQUARE METERS BIG. IT FIRST OPENED IN NOVEMBER 2005. IT WAS THE FIRST ARENA TO HAVE a

BLACK RUN, INCLUDING 4 OTHER DIFFERENT SLOPES.

THERE IS A SNOW PARK FOR TOURISTS, WHERE THEY CAN GO ON SNOW SLIDES AND ENTER ICE CAVES AND SEE GIANT ICE

SCULPTURES. WHEN BUYING A TICKET, YOU CAN RENT CLOTHES AND BOOTS WITH The COST OF YOUR TICKET. IN SKI DUBAI THE

TEMPERATURE IS BETWEEN -1 TO -6 DEGREES CELSIUS. THEY HAD DIFFERENT COMPETITIONS WITH SPONSORS. THEY HAD A SKI-

BOARD WORLD CUP IN 2008. OTHER FREESTYLE COMPETITIONS SUCH AS RAIL COMPETITION, KICKER COMPETITION AND A MIXTURE

OF BOTH. SKI DUBAI ALSO INCLUDES RENTAL BOOTS, SKIS/SNOWBOARDS AND POLES (SKIING). IN DUBAI, SKI DUBAI IS THE

COOLEST PLACE TO BE.

[1]

Squaids A horrible epidemic is sweeping

the world. Squaids (Squirrel A.I.D.S)

has been spreading fast. Squaids’

effects include mobile facial features,

literal running nose, coughing your guts

out, throwing up your breakfast, lunch,

and dinner, simultaneously, sneezing

your brains out, and accelerated hair

growth syndrome. Other Squaids

symptoms include cravings of limes

and acorns, bubbles spewing profusely

from your bellybutton, and involuntary

speech. Lastly, Squaids’ most

dangerous effect is sentient hair

syndrome. Your hair will gain a mind of

its own. Do not be surprised if your hair

decides to make itself a sandwich.

There is a cure for Squaids, but it is

dangerous. The only way to get rid of

Squaids is eating 15 poisonous acorns

at the same time, which may kill you

faster than the disease.

If you survive step one, you must

devour a rabid squirrel within fifteen

minutes. The last way is to watch Ray

William Johnson on Youtube

IMMEDIATELY. If you do not prefer

these ways you will most likely die.

Do you wish to avoid this horrible

epidemic? For your protection, please

refrain from eating acorns and touching

squirrels. If you wish to donate, please

call the following number:

555-555-5555.

Even the teachers have

Squaids

Discovery of Squaids SQUAIDS ALSO KNOWN AS SQUADIUM VURNECLIEI (SCIENTIFIC FORM) WAS DISCOVERED BY RAY WILLIAM JOHNSON (RWJ) IN THE SUMMER OF 2009. THIS DISEASE IS KNOWN TO TRANSFER ITSELF TO CATS, TO MAKE THEM FIGHT BEARS. A BEAR FIGHTING CAT, IS JUST ONE OF THE MANY DEADLY OUTCOMES OF SQUAIDS, IT HAS EVEN BEEN KNOWN TO TRANSFER THROUGH THE INTERNET.

SQUAIDS!

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By

Sameem

Khwaja

AJ Griffith

Edited by

Brenton Steele

Larry and Jerry ’ s Grocery

Here at Larry and Jerry’s grocery, we have everything you will ever need, ever! When founded about a week ago by our famous CEO, Bigchintis survivor Brenton Steele, he vowed to always give you what you needed. He received millions of dollars from concerned peers, what’d you expect him to use it for?

The L&J Promise

We will always give you what you want!Larry and Jerry’s vows to always give you what you expect from us! Strange products at borderline infuriating prices!

We will not rip you off!Not until you’re at checkout, that is.

We will always give you useless junk at ridiculously inflated prices!Wait, who put that there? Somebody’s getting fired today...

We Deliver!To little time to go to the store? Simply call the non-provided number and request the required item! We guarantee that we will get you your request within 3 months. You know, usually.

Donations

Being a fairly new store, Larry and Jerry’s is relatively low on funds. Those of you who are smart enough to remember our founder is a millionaire, you are also smart enough to remember that he is “not” spending the money on video games. Please, every donation will go towards making this franchise better, helping you, and putting money in the wallet of our CEO. Remember the motto of the Brenton Steele Bigchinitis fund.

Please, think of the children.

It’s that good!Check out our most popular products!

Gross Brand™ Spinach Mouthwash!

“Here at Larry and Jerry’s, we take your needs into mind. Offering the most useful and safest (Usually) products you’ll find anywhere! Remember our motto, “It’s that good!”

Brenton SteeleLarry and Jerry’s Grocery CEO

Bigchintis (Partial) survivor.

Happy Playtime Barbie Bazooka™!Has your precious daughter ever wished that she could play soldier with the big boys without being labeled a tomboy? Well not anymore! With the Happy Playtime Barbie Bazooka™, you can completely dominate in fights, and look good doing it! Buy now and get a free Fashion Model Soldier Barbie! You’ll be the envy of the battlefield!

Ammunition not included. $40.99

Various Exotic Cheeses!We have various varieties of finely cultured cheeses from all over the world! We have cheeses from France, Germany, China, and the dumpster behind the GMO testing center! We guarantee that only 15 percent of our selection is radioactive! It’s that good!

Disclaimer:Any and all cheese related injuries are your own fault. $19.67 per wedge

Two-Faced Backstabber Friendly Ball™!Ever wished you could freak out your enemies, while not scaring your little siblings? Really? You have? What kind of weird freak are you? If you ARE that kind of warped out psycho, this is the toy for you! With the Two-Faced Backstabber Friendly Ball™, you’ll be able to play with your little brother or sister with the HAPPY FRIEND SIDE, while striking fear

into your enemies with the DEMON-

BALL SIDE. It’s fun for all! $20.04

While supplies last.

Sale!Only $9.50 per

bottle!

WORLD NEWSWill the Haitians Ever Catch a Break?

Almost a year after the major earthquake in Haiti, the Haitians have been struck again. Nearly 200 people have died from Cholera and more than 2,300 people have been rushed to hospitals with severe cases of diarrhea, vomiting and dehydration in the last few weeks. Medical facilities in Saint Marc have been swamped with patients sleeping on blankets in parking lots with drips attached to their arms for rehydration. Authorities’ priorities were to keep the disease from spreading into shelter camps from the earthquake in January. 1.2 million people were left homeless after the earthquake last year and were left in makeshift camps with little access to clean drinking water making them perfect candidates for catching Cholera.

The outbreak has been caused by the Artibonite River, an artery crossing Haiti’s rural centre that thousands of people use in their daily lives. Most people have been affected in that region and most of them no longer have a good source of clean water. Relief organizations were shipping medicine, water filtration units and other relief supplies to the Artibonite region trying to prevent the disease from spreading. Officials have said that it will be contained, but who really knows?

By: Aya Abou-Jaoude

Random Rock $50.00I found this rock the other day. It’s a nice rock, I guess. I don’t like rocks so I’m

selling it. Do you want this rock? Give me fifty dollars. That’s right, fifty dollars.

What do you mean it isn’t worth fifty dollars? Of course it is! It’s a nice rock!

Listen, if you aren’t going to buy the rock somebody else will. Why don’t you

just buy the rock? You know you want to. BUY THE ROCK.

FOR SALE

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[1]

Michael

Jackson

What about his early career? Michael Jackson was born in Gary, Indiana August 29, 1958. His family was poor, with ten children to feed. Michael Jackson was the eighth child. With his brother Marlon, they formed a band called the “Jackson Brothers” at the age of five, which included his other brothers; Jackie, Tito, and Jermaine. Later, when he became a lead singer, the band was renamed the “Jackson 5”. The band went touring around the Midwestern part of the United States. Jackson 5 later signed a contract with Motown, but then left because of restrictions on creativity. They then moved to Epic Records. He went on to sign records with several other record companies.

Michael Jackson is one of the most famous pop artists in the modern world. In fact, he is the most successful entertainer in the Guinness World Records. There is no questioning his fame and fortune. However, what about his personal life? How much do people know about his childhood? In this article, we’ll look into his career and life (we couldn’t do songs or albums because we couldn’t cram in so much information).

In his later years, he had problems. First, his appearance was totally changed. Although media and some other sources said that Jackson bleached his skin, what really happened was that he got vitiligo, a disease that causes the skin to go pale. Then there were two allegations that accused him of child molestation. Even though Jackson won both cases, the cases greatly damaged his public image.

Jackson revealed his troubled childhood in his autobiography (Moonwalk), on The Oprah Winfrey Show. When he was young, Jackson’s father abused by regularly beating him up. Jackson was also never really happy with his appearance because his father used to say that his nose was fat. Jackson defends his father by saying that his success had to do with his father’s discipline. Jackson was also scarred by his fans. Anywhere the Jackson 5 went, there were tons of fans chasing them to “greet” them. Crowds of people would reach for him, crushing him in the center. Jackson would usually stay in his hotel room when on tours to avoid these situations.

By: James and Kristina

To conclude this article, let’s just say that Jackson exemplifies the typical artist - someone who struggles with fame and fortune, as well as their own flawed existence.

The Jackson Five

Michael Jackson before and after vitiligo.

[1]

Michael Jackson Influence on UsherMichael Jackson, not the man, not the

music, but the legacy. Michael Jackson

is known as the king of pop; but when the king dies the whole kingdom

crumbles, right? Wrong. Michael

Jackson’s iconic style of music,

dance, and clothing is not from

those that come and go it is of those that come stay and live

on. Michael Jackson’s spirit is

still here with us. It is visible in many

people one of which is Usher. Usher is

known for his Michael Jackson style. Even his fans believe that. For example

one of his fans had stated“...Michael

Jackson is where Usher got all his

moves… Michael built the stage for

which Usher dances on. If it wasn't for

him Usher [wudn't] even have those

moves. Michael Jackson always and forever the King of Pop.” This was

posted by one of his fans when one

person had said one bad

comment on YouTube. You

might not realize it yet but if you take a close look at usher you

will see the guy Michael Jackson

was talking about when he sang

“Man in the Mirror”.

Sources : --http://www.youtube.com/

watch?v=Cg-o7t93-

iE&feature=playerembedded

RIP Michael Jackson

29/08/1958 - 6/25/2009

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er!Collect your puppy!If this is your dog please call:050782567326388894569999999999999999999999999999GEIVE!!! Even though we don’t have phones back here in these mighty 1800s days!!! Description: Follow the rip off number instructions below and you’ll be ripped off too! Because we want your money! *This Paper is trying to communicate with you* Wait, what?

What: Uh, I think it’s a puppy? Or at least it once was, in the past.....

When: 1862 Chinchiter, 18Where: 56blopdydop!!!79 Gettysberg Street5,000$ reward for taking this dog off our caring hands!!

Found Puppy!I... Think.So I found this dog. I figured I’d turn him in to the local pound unless we find his owner! Poor dog was cast on to the streets, and probably for good reason. She was looking pretty bad and ugly. So I groomed him up and took care of her a bit! Doesn’t she look cute now? Aaaaaaw, look at us go! iH ima nnago lakt bouat the puppy! Ghos roflem mroe brown et to ghttao, lots fo fur! eH boy now feugeo nochee girl then! Obachoo ni het oof!d I want daddy gohs bou unsel touch my face! By the way my son wrote one half of that! I bet you already noticed that cause he’s a famous author! I’m proud of my son and love his books! One of my favorite books that he wrote is elFlem@in %*gon. He’s the greatest 2 year old author ever! Hey, look at this awesome poster and photo even though we don’t have things like these back here in the 1800’s!!!

Real Author: Benjamin Poletti Real Editor: Brenton Steele Photo by: Benjamin Poletti

YOUR ACCESS TO THE REST OF THIS PAPER

Has been Denied.

You are not worthy.

I, the master of this internet page, have deemed you

unworthy to read the rest of this paper. As shown in the

photo above, I have manifested my data in your world,

and WILL find you. If you are foolish enough to

ignore this warning, you will be destroyed

accordingly. If you do not fear the concept of me

finding you, downloading myself into your laptop,

and corrupting every personal file you own, by all

means continue....

My servants created this page for me...Brenton typed my warning.Ben took the photos of meYou did nothing but waste your precious life by ignoring me...

Remember, I’m watching

you.....

[1]

Ask A BarshanQuestion 1) Who are you?

Answer 1) I am a Barshan Martian from the Barsha

Buzz. I have 999,999,999,999 brothers and two sisters.

Question 2) I like a boy, but he likes another girl.

What do I do?Answer 2) It sounds like you already have your

answer. If you like this boy, become his friend. Let him take the time for him to get to know you so that he can discover your good qualities. If he is worth your time, then let him have the chance to get to know you and decide if he likes you, he might tell you how he feels. If he see’s you simply as a friend than its good to see that at least he respects you as one. Show him how fun and caring you are and if he can recognize an amazing girl, than he will realize you are the best person for him. (Then again, my 999,999,999,999,999 brothers think its cheesy.)

Question 3) What do I have for homework?

Answer 3) Check the calendar, silly human!

Please note:

We apologize that we could not answer all the questions we have gotten others, we could only answer three questions in this issue of Barsha Buzz. These questions are a mix of questions throughout the 7th and 8th grade. Keep tuned for our next issue! Sixth graders don’t forget to leave your questions in our latest questions box!

-Anonymous

Ask a Barshan Martian

--------->

ASK A BARSHAN

[1]

1. Chelsea2. Manchester United3. Arsenal4. Manchester City5.Newcastle6.Bolton7. Tottenham8. Sunderland9. Liverpool10. West Bromwich11. Everton12. Blackpool13. Fulham14. Aston Villa15. Birmingham16. Blackburn17. Stoke City18. Wigan Athletic19. Wolves20. West Ham United

The Tables of the English Premier League on October 20, 2010.

The Tables for the La Liga Spanish League for all you Spanish Fans on October 20, 2010.

1.Real Madrid2.Barcelona3.Villarreal4.Espanyol5.Valencia6.Sevilla7.Real Sociedad8.Atlético Madrid9.Mallorca10.Athletic Bilbao11.Getafe12.Osasuna13.Sporting Gijon14.Racing Santander15.Deportivo La Couruña16.Almeria17.Hércules18.Levante19.Real Zaragoza20.Malaga

Surprisingly Liverpool is doing really bad this season. Nobody knows why! (On the left: Steven Gerrard after another depressing game.)

By:Omar Aly and Niki Bolandi

Dirts Deets Dentist Office

Come to Dirts Deets Dentist Office!

Come on down to Dirts Deets Dentist Office. Because Dirts Deets

Dentist Office is the best. Because only Pokemon say their names

over and over again! We have the highest quality braces! We’re so

professional that we use secret recipes for our dentistry. That

probably scares the living heck out of you! Secret recipe sneak

peek: We’ll use Elmers Glue to glue braces to your teeth! What a

rip off! That way you have to come back to get more braces every

day! And if you are nearly dead and have no more teeth or even

mouth for example, then we have reached our goal. So come on

down to Dirts Deets Dentist Office, we have cookies! And by the

way we call it Dirts Deets Dentist Office for a reason!

Offered at $895,000 per tooth! And $56,782,000.99 for braces plus tax! Don’t worry we promise that we don’t employ torture! Anymore

Listing Agent: Mr. Capone

Contact Info: Don’t worry, we’ll come to you!!!

email: dirtsdeetsdoomeddentistry@gmail.com

Please, no more hate comments...

No seriously email us, it’s a real email.

Tell us your criticism, it’s perfectly welcome!

Property characteristics

• Making kids in this city poorer

everyday!

• Adding poverty to this world!

• Office located inside trailer mansion.

• Best professionals located here!

Look at our patient! He’s so happy, he’s crying

with joy!

This is what your child’s teeth should look like

when we’re done with them, that is if they

have any. Don’t we have loving and caring

hands?! Trust us, because we’re great with the

children!

Proof of our real email!!!

Office located at: Sorry but the following location has been censored due to

government desire to shut our company down! Slum 12, India, Bangladesh, U.S.

Email: dirtsdeetsdoomeddentistry@gmail.comReal author: Benjamin Poletti Real editor: Brenton

Steele Photos by: Benjamin Poletti

[1]

SOME OF OUR FAVORITE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES

Jeanette the joker

Adam the Joker

Aya the devil.

Tamara the witch

Efe the Vampire

Mrs. Heath the good girl

Our Terrific students and teachers dressed up for trick or treating...

Ms. Hammond

Mrs. Ridley-Crawford

Photos by: Kristina Miebach

Who is this???

AJ - 7th grade

[2] Photos by: Kristina Miebach

[1]

DANAH ALKHAMIS"Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee."    — Wally (of Scott

Adams' Dilbert strip).My name is Danah and I have been in

ASD since second grade. I really enjoyed editing and graphic organizing the MS newspaper this quarter. I like

to swim with Niki, play soccer and read. I also like to play

piano and softball.My name is Omar. I am new to this school. I love Call of Duty, I am prestige 2. I love soccer. My favorite quote is “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom,” by Thomas Jefferson and “A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life,” by Charles Darwin, learned about him in Science with the finches and blah blah blah. I am random. Thank you and enjoy the paper. JOURNALISM IS THE BEST!

Niki Bolandi

“I am living a dream I never want to wake up from” - Cristiano Ronaldo

My name is NIki Bolandi. I like to play tennis, swim with Danah, and play the drums. My favorite soccer team is Real Madrid.

Brenton Steele is a survivor of Bigchinitis and a millionaire. In his head that is. In reality, he is a 7th grader making random comedy articles for a newspaper. He doesn’t really have a disease of any kind, and is basically broke. It still helps to donate though! He’s thinking of making an all comedy newspaper, which takes absolutely no money to make. So please donate!“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove

all doubt.”- Abraham Lincoln

Omar SbayOmar is a 13 year old eighth grader and has

gone to ASD since fifth grade. He enjoys playing

sports, acting, and is really exited about the

publishing of the second attack of The Barsha

Buzz, and he hopes you will too.

Andrew Bake“Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students.”-Robin Willliams

My name is Aya Abou-Jaoude and I am Lebanese/American. I like to sing and dance with my two year old sister and read to her. I enjoy reading and playing the piano on the weekends as well as writing.“Imagination is more important than

knowledge.” -Einstein

Hi, I am Faris Khedro. I am 13 years old. I love to ski and I also love to play soccer. I was born in Palo Alto in San Francisco in California and in the United States. This is my 7th year living in the U.A.E. I lived in the US for 5 years. My favorite quote is: “There is no point in riding if you don’t have fun!” – Tanner Hall

! Hi, My name is Zayd Shehadeh, and I have lived in Dubai for 8 years. I have also lived in Lebanon, and Saudi Arabia. I go to the American School of Dubai, and I am 13 years old. I love to snowboard and play soccer. My favorite subject in school is History. I was born in Lebanon.

[2]

Sameem Khwaja I was born in New York. I have lived in Dubai all my life. I have 2 sisters, one older

and one younger. My favorite hobbies are soccer, swimming, piano and playing video games. My favorite food is steak.

Amelia Premfors

Favorite Quote:“Sharks rock your socks off!”-Amelia Premfors

My name is Amelia. But you know me as the weirdo shark girl. I like to read. If you need to know anything about me, it is that I love sharks. I’m Swedish and Turkish. I’m in seventh grade, as well. I go to ASD (obviously) and live in Dubai (even more obviously).

Hi! I’m James Yi. I’m grade 8 and thirteen years old. I like to swim and love the internet. I’m shy and never talk in class. Not sure why... I was born in China, but my family moved to Canada so I’m Canadian right now.

My favorite quote is from Einstein: “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.”

HI! I’m Kristina and I have been working on the Halloween site and the Arts and music page.I’m a barshan matrian and i have been enjoying planet earth.

Hi ma nme nfod si Benjamin nad ima gobo tricle!!! hei he@u% gfsfgasd gaga goo goo!!! Heifddad jobgob Splap Me Do in the face!!! fnot dajsfnf sdaf Iʼm fdsf A fdsf Hebrew god!!! Tiranny dfsdaf fdaf Pennsylvania.

Notes from editor: Benjamin could not make it for his blurb this day so he chose to write it as a hologram from home. Because he is a hologram, his fingers barely move. The letters on the keyboard make it utterly impossible to read this.

Renwick Brocklehurst I am from Scotland, but i have

lived in Houston for most of my life. I

am 6 foot 2 inches and my favorite

quote is “Always forgive your

enemies. Nothing annoys them so

much.” Oscar Wilde

Hello Humans! My name is Aya. I come from the galaxy of Barshan land. My 10,000,000 brothers and sisters have created our last issue of the Barsha Buzz. Once the issue is published we will be able to leave Planet Earth. Have a good read! :)