Balancing Life as a Muslim Mom eBook

7/31/2019 Balancing Life as a Muslim Mom eBook

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2 Balancing Life as a

ContentsWhy Marriage, Motherhood & M

Top Tips to Obtain Happiness a

Muslim Wives Need to Lear

Top Tips to Become an Ideal Mu

Top Reasons Every Muslim

Top Ten Tips Every Muslim Mo

Focusing on Frugal Living a

From Confused Coupon Critici

How You Can Make Money O

About AmericanMuslimMom.co

Your Next Steps ........................

Dedication

All praise is due to Allah, subhan

blessings be upon our belovedsalam/May the peace and blessi

these pages, and that she make

one so benefits, I ask that she m

praying for the Mu’minyn (true b

Copyright 2011.

If you would like to share this eb

altered in anyway. However, I pr just like you did, so she may ben

Muslim Mom By Ponn Sabra © 2011. American

ney? ................................................................

a Muslim Wife .................................................

How-To Shut Up! ............................................

slim Mom ..........................................................

Mom Should Consider Homeschooling ............

Should Know About Managing Money ............

nd Making Money Online ..................................

izer to Coupon Connoisseur (in the making) ......

nline ..................................................................

........................................................................

..........................................................................

allahu wa T’ala (May He be Glorified). May All

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3 Balancing Life as a Muslim Mom By Ponn Sabra © 2011. American Muslim Mom

Why Marriage, Motherhood & Money?

As Muslim Moms, we are commissioned to obey Allah’s commands as dictated by the Glorious

Qur’an and the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa salam/May the peace

and blessings be upon him).

Therefore, we must focus on the areas that we are obliged to maintain and be a shepherd over,

as noted below in the following ayat (Qur’anic verse, revelation) and hadith (saying of the

Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa salam/May the peace and blessings be upon him)).

• Marriage – Our Roles as a Loving, Supportive Muslim Wife and Homemaker,

• Motherhood – Our Roles as a Caring and Compassionate Mother and Primary

Educator, and

• Money – Our Roles as a Wise Wealth Manager to Your Family’s money, belongings,

properties and investments.

Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands) and

guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (such as their chastity and

their husband’s wealth (money, belongings, properties and investments).

Surah al-Nisa’ 4:34

It is reported that the Prophet (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa salam/May the peace and blessings be upon

him) stated

“Each of you is a shepherd, and each is responsible for those under his care. A ruler is a

shepherd of his land; a man is the shepherd of his family; a woman is the shepherd of her husbands’ house and children. For each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for

those under his care.”

[Sahih Bukhari and Muslim]

In action in our Three Main Roles in this life, together we will strive to be the best Muslim Moms

in this dunya (life on Earth), deserving of our place in the akhira (Hereafter), inshaAllah T’ala.

(God willing, May He be Glorified).




Top Tips to Obtain Happiness as aMuslim Wife

Marriage is fulfilling half of one’s religious duties in Islam. Therefore, learning to be a confident,supportive, loving, wise and righteous wife should be a top priority for all Muslim women oncethey are married. And, in doing so, Muslim wives have the profound power to offer muchhappiness to this world, as noted in the sayings of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings beupon him,

“This world is nothing but temporary conveniences, and the greatest joy in this world is arighteous wife”. (Sahih Muslim).

Learning new methods to help Muslim wives fulfill their duties and responsibilities to their husband, family and household are also seen as completing critical acts of worship to Allah,may He be glorified. Listed below are some tips for a Muslim Wife striving to reach new levels of happiness for herself and her family:

• Understand your duties, roles and responsibilities as a Muslim Wife.Understandingthat your husband is the Imam, spiritual leader, of your family should give you greatpeace of mind. The ultimate responsibility of providing for the family financially,spiritually, physically, morally, and emotionally lies on his shoulders. And, theconsequences of his abilities to do it appropriately and righteously are weighed on hisscale of good and bad deeds. His inability to advise or provide correctly may incur sinsby Allah because he is failing in his duties as the Imam. For example, if he advises you

or your children to do something unacceptable in Islam, and you obey his wishes, heincurs the sin for teaching you wrongly as well as your sins for doing the sinful act.Therefore, you should appreciate the great blessing for solely being responsible for whatis inside the home, your children and wealth.

• Strive to be your husband’s partner in this life deserving of the hereafter.Youshould strive to reach the highest level of heaven, furdose, together. Offer him thecomfort and joy to do the difficult yet extremely rewarding acts of worship. For example,be his alarm clock for fajr, make sure he does not miss his prayers or jummah(congregational prayer on Friday). Prepare a healthy suhoor (breakfast before fasting)

and have iftar (meal after the fast) ready on time. Help save money for Hajj, encouragegiving random charity throughout the year beyond the prescribed zakat (alms-giving) andaccept a more modest lifestyle in return. Offer to make Qayal al-Lail (night prayers)together in the third part of the night, and strive to be the most caring, compassionate.




• Be his trustworthy confidante. Listen intently to his secrets. Be proud of your uniqueand special bond. Accept the responsibility that you share his inner most visions, goals,hopes, dreams, worries, and pain. Offer him the support that no one else can offer,simply because you are the only one that knows and understands him to his fullest.Mediate in kind tones when you sense he needs an advisor and best-friend. Take pridethat you are his chosen confidante, so continue to foster an environment so he always

turns to you first. Know that it is haram (prohibited) to share family secrets, especiallyprivate acts and words shared by a married couple.

• Apply the art of influencing positive moods during difficult times. Being thesunshine to your husband’s rainy days is difficult and tricky, yet one of the mosttreasured skills. Learn to listen patiently even if his anger makes you uneasy--know thatyour happy mood is what you want as the outcome, not his continued anger. Offer happiness to brighten his sadness. Rush to please him during times of frustration. Be abalanced, respectful leader so he values your strength, but beware that arrogance doesnot overcome you. Be kind and gentle often enough, without showing you are incapable

or weak. Be confident and aggressive enough to teach him something new, yet not rude,abrasive or hurtful in the process. Be his wise woman...second to his mom. [Be awarethat you and your mother-in-law have completely different relationships with your husband. Resisting competition shows your level of self-respect and dignity--qualities heyearns for in a pious wife.]

• Strive to have your home his chosen place of comfort and leisure.Cleanliness,organization, brightness and clutter-freedom keep a home happy and fun. A creativewoman can find her family’s comfort zone and preferences. It is possible to find tonesthat are naturally colorful and lively yet calming. Beyond the overall pleasing appeal of your home, you need to be refreshing to him close-up too. Allow your bodily fragrancesand breath to always be worth being a cheek apart. Allow him all the reasons to rushhome because it is safe, healthy, and peaceful and fun--his getaway from the dailystresses of work, and outside forces. Make a lifetime goal to establish and share all your favorite halal (permissible) past-times together. From fixing cars, cooking exotic meals,playing family board games, reciting Qur’an, learning nasheeds (Islamic songs), andgrocery shopping--family time is sacred treasured time. Be your family’s Leisure Leader.

• Strive to be the best personal chef you possibly can.Be keen to please all hissenses, which the beauty of food has the ability to do. Be patient and try to learn how tomaster the art of offering a refreshing scent to your nose, pleasurable texture to your fingers, appealing display to your eyes, and the peaceful silence to your ears--all in onetasty meal. Remember that this is possible with the least of foods. For example, some of the favorite foods of Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, were milk,olives, olive oil, bread, cucumbers, and dates.




• Be timely and aware. Organize a schedule tight enough to maintain a healthy routineand regularity to your life; yet flexible enough to allow for surprises and randomness.Know that the dunya (this life on Earth) is very short, and that every positive act is onestep closer to the akhira (hereafter), inshaAllah (God willing).

• Strive to please Allah and Allah Alone, may He be glorified. Make pure intentions inall that you do, especially when you are ultimately doing something “just” for your husband, children or household. Know that these are your duties as the Muslim wife,and be thankful that no good deed will ever be overlooked or under-appreciated by our One Beneficent Creator. Do not strive for the temporary conveniences of this life (suchas, “Thank you” gifts, or words of praise). Be aware that you can be the greatest joy inhis life and worthy of great things in the hereafter. Ameen.

Muslim Wives Need to Learn How-To Shut Up!

It’s important to consider three things before you consider yelling back, “No. You Shut Up!”

First, it is reported that Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said"I stood at the gate of Paradise and saw that the majority of the people who entered it were the

poor, while the wealthy were stopped at the gate (for the accounts). But the companions of theFire were ordered to be taken to the Fire. Then I stood at the gate of the Fire and saw that themajority of those who entered it were women."

[Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmed]

Second, It is reported that Prophet Muhammad, (sallallahu ‘alayhi wa salam/May the peace andblessings be upon him), said

"A person utters a word thoughtlessly (i.e., without thinking about it being good or not, or if these

words have any significance that will raise their ranks in Heaven) and, as a result of this, he will

fall down into the fire of Hell deeper than the distance between the east and the west.''

[Bukhari and Muslim]

Third, sins of the tongue include but are not limited to:

• Lying,• Exaggerating,• Back-biting,• Slander,• Gossiping,• Picking fun at,• Ungrateful remarks,• Negative talk, anger, and unwarranted disappointment,• Whining,




• Sharing your disapproval of others to everyone except the one involved,• Making hypocritical remarks and acting indifferently to said person,• Sharing private secrets and/or intimate moments between a married couple,• Entering into debates solely to stir up emotions and cause harm,• Maintaining an argument out of defensiveness and insecurity,• Making emotional assumptions public without giving the other party the benefit of doubt,• Jumping to conclusions without said facts and acting inappropriately prematurely,• Stating someone is guilty without seeking justice,• Manipulating others,• Dissuading others from seeing the truth, and• Talking simply because one is unaware of the beauty of silence, or deep and reflexive

thought.

(the beginning of this sounds funny- not sure how to reword…)While it is a known fact that

women at present (and will continue to) out-number males in the world’s population, therefore

one can debate that this may be a logical reason that women will out-number men in Hell Fire.However, one can also argue the fact that when compared to men, women are more apt to

participate in one or many of above stated sins of the tongue once in awhile and in many cases:

often.

So, since we as Muslim women have the profound ability to bring the only true joy to this world

through our piety, righteousness, silence, if given the opportunity to talk or not, won’t you just

consider shutting up?

Now, based on the given stated facts and proposing the above questions, the logic used above

does not touch upon the stereotypical belief that Muslim wives are submissive. Quite thecontrary, in fact there are many examples that when a pious, righteous Muslim male leader had

a pious, righteous, intelligent, loving, charitable wife, together they ruled their families and the

public at large.

Just like everything we do in this life, when seeking to please Allah and Him Alone, we will gain

from the pleasures of this world and the hereafter. Rather than enter into acts that seem easily

harmless, and ultimately harmful; such as the numerous sins or “slips of the tongue” stated

above--choose to reflect peacefully and walk away from such circumstances. Distance yourself

from negative situations. Offer a charitable smile, and dare to be a pious leader, one who can

effect change by choosing to use your tongue wisely--or simply just keeping it inside your

mouth.




Top Tips to Become an Ideal MuslimMom

Muslim children have rights over their parents: shelter, food, clothing, health, hygiene, andeducation. Therefore, parents are obligated to provide these for them. Fathers must provide thefinancial means and assurance of all these necessities, while mothers must maintain anddisseminate them. In being the children’s primary educator, mothers must always strive to becaring, compassionate, and healthy role models who practice what they preach.

Top Tips to Achieve Happiness as an Ideal Muslim Mom

• Be a Student of Allah - Gaining knowledge is a duty for every Muslim. Studying our deen, religion and way of life is especially more important when you are a mother,because it’s your responsibility to teach your children what’s important that your faith.

And, to practice it accordingly so together, you can work to achieve the greatest goal:

entrance into jennah, Heaven. Your studies should include the Qur’an, Sunnah andSirah of our Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, learning about theSahabah, and all our secular studies intertwining Islamic history, science, and culturewithin them.

• Embody Islam - Everything you need to know to achieve a strong character, pleasantpersonality, sound manners, and high moral and ethics is found in the Qur’an andSunnah. A Muslim mom should be truthful, sincere, secure, honest, loving, resourceful,stable-minded, and strive to be her children’s most compassionate caregiver who theywill always feel comfort in turning to first.

• Instill Intellectual Inquiry as the Root to Gaining Complete Knowledge - There ismore benefit to creating a life-long learner by teaching a child to love learning, throughinvestigative reasoning, discovery and inventive creation-building based on the child’sown curiosity.

• Be a keen and adaptive educator . It is your duty to be astute to each of your children’sdifferent personalities, skills, strengths, weaknesses, sensitivities, and talents. By being

fully aware of each of your children’s similarities and differences, you will have thepatience to cater to their every need and desires in a personalized way. It is imperativethat you treat each child with tact and the right amount of attention they deserve. Bydoing so, your children will never doubt that home is their most safe and secure place inthis world.




• Offer guidance in a nurturing environment. As your children’s primary advisor, youmust assure that you maintain a trustworthy and respectful atmosphere to allow your children the comfort to find deep understanding and appreciation for everything youteach them in this world. When children have a supportive environment, they will growand thrive in any or all subjects you teach them, whether the education be religious,secular, cultural, physical, artistic, logic, home economics, civics, politics, money

management or any life lesson you teach them.

• Be a Delightful Disciplinarian and Just Judge. When you maintain a hair, honest andpatient demeanor, your children willfully accepts strict rules, understandable limitations,frequent rewards, and just punishment. Children actually thrive in environments thatvalues rules, because it affords them the opportunity to please others in the process,such as their parents, and Allah. To be most effective, you must remain steadfast,stable, and consistent it all dealings, otherwise your children will undermine you authorityif they sense that you don’t value your authority yourself.

• Be a Resourceful Family Fun Leader. It’s critical that you offer your children lively,creative, exciting, unexpected, funny and colorful entertainment that is halal/permissible.By offering your children all the pleasures this world has to offer in context of Islam andin safe environment of your family’s presence, they will develop confidence and self-respect for their individuality, that they will not be affected nor desire haram/prohibitedoutside influence. Regardless if you live in a primarily Muslim or non-Muslim culture, it isyour duty not to permit your children to assimilate to un-Islamic customs, nor will youisolate from un-Islamic lifestyles. It is your duty to show them all forms of culturalunderstanding, and as long as you follow the Sunnah you will develop strong Muslimsworthy of be emulated by others in this life. For living life righteously means living withoutfear of being ridiculed, or desiring praise from people in this world. After all, you owe it toyourself and your children to only desire to please Allah and Only Him, in all that you do.

Top Reasons Every Muslim Mom Should Consider Homeschooling

Continuously increasing ‘Alm, Knowledge, is a duty and obligation of every Muslim. As a MuslimMother, your duty is to provide your children with the best-rounded, complete and enrichingeducation possible, which includes their spiritual and secular education. Since it is your children’s right you are obliged to weigh all possible educational options. And, as your children’sfirst teacher in life, homeschooling is the most natural, and possibly the most Islamic option todate.

Top Reasons to Why Every Muslim Mom Should Consider Homeschooling

• The best teacher is caring, compassionate, patient, resourceful, loving, who understandhis/her student’s personal needs, desires, hopes, dreams, weaknesses, strengths,dislikes, likes, wonders, fears, individual learning styles, levels and abilities so he/shecan give the most personalized teaching program possible for his/her student can fullyexcel and thrive. Can you imagine even the best teacher figuring out how to do this with




25-30 different students every 9-months with a 3-month break in between? Highly-improbable.

• As a mother, you are the primary influence to your children’s character. No one knowsyour children more than you, and your children trusts or respects no one more than you.

• As a mother, it is your responsibility to notice gaps in your children’s education andupbringing and discover means of filling that void. With failing public educationalsystem, most mothers are already filling in the gaps with every subject in life beyond thetest-able Reading and Math. Missing pieces include Writing, Science, Social Studies, the

Arts, Money Management, Politics, Civic duties, Charitable Giving, Domestic Studies,Physical Education, Ethics, Commerce, Communications, Technology, Keyboarding,Engineering, Literary Analysis, Public Speaking, Invention, Innovation, Recreations,

Health & Hygiene, Organizational Skill-Building, and real Socialization. Since you’realready exerting much energy and resources, it’s more effective and efficient use of your time to educate your children right, right from the start.

• A home environment provides freedom of choice what to study, when, how, where, withwho you choose, and to figure out why it’s necessary in the first place. Therefore,Muslim Moms can prioritize our structured ibadah (acts of worship), as the framework of your day. For example, your prayers can be prayed on-time, your studies and activitiescan surround Friday jummah (congregational prayers) and Ramadan fasting. Rather then adjusting our religious duties around a structured school schedule, you’ll have the

liberty to create your lifestyle that blends your education within, not without Islam.

• Learning about our deen, religion and way of life should not be taught as one Islamicstudies subject, but it needs to be rooted in all subjects such as History, Geography,Science, Math, Literature and Language Studies. Learning Qur’an is an art and craft thatis much more than memorization. Qur’anic studies includes reading Arabic as alanguage, reciting based on the rule of Tajweed, writing unique to the Qur’an,comprehension of based on tafsir (full meaning of the Qur’anic ayats) not strictlytranslation of Arabic as a separate language. While Arabic, Qur’an and Deen may not beyour areas of expertise, the great advantage of homeschooling, is the flexibility of

cooperating efforts with other families, hiring private experts (not tutors or assistants),travel overseas during low-travel seasons for a fraction of the costs and explore creativeand more comprehensive options not afforded by any public, private, or Islamic schoolsystem.




• Depth of knowledge, deeper appreciation on topics taught, self-directed discovery andexperimental investigation to help a child learn any lesson beyond test-taking is greatlymissed in school. School’s primary focus is on measurable benchmarks that not basedon intelligence, creativity, and educational understanding; rather Math techniques andReading levels. With a nurturing environment based on love in the home setting, ahomeschool mom can measure success by mastery of any and all topics studies and

explored.

Only at home can one teach, learn and actually “test” if real knowledge is gained through one’s

individualized educational program. Since our duty to Allah is to gain knowledge and not

necessarily “go to school”, a rational argument would be that “school” is not only a poor choice

for your children, but possibly a waste of their childhood years.

Debating the notion that homeschool children don’t have optimal socialization skills? Consider

this Special Report on CNN by Harvard University,as they seek more play-time over academic-

preparation as a form of education.




Top Ten Tips Every Muslim Mom ShouldKnow About Managing Money

One of the three major responsibilities for Muslim wives in Islam is managing the family’swealth. In addition to caring for the children’s education and overseeing the household, Muslimwives often negate their priority to manage their wealth--money, properties, belongings andinvestments.

Becoming a better Muslim Mom Money Manager takes time, can not be achieved overnight, butwith the right intentions and determination to learn and act accordingly, Allah (God) will help yousucceed, inshaAllah (God willing). Listed below are the some tips to get you started:

• Setting a Frugal Mindset for your family is an Act of Taqwa (God

conscientiousness). Frugality is an intelligent lifestyle--not a cheap one! Bargain-shopping is a gift to your family, not a punishment. When a mother (and father) instillsthe value of earning a dollar and stretching its value, children will appreciate and evenfeel challenged to gain the most from your family’s money. Be creative and ingenious inhow to position the minds of your family members to appreciate frugality as a duty of all,and not a choice of a few. Those who are spend-conscience are more intelligent thanspenders. You have an obligation to your family to be resourceful and appreciative of theworldly gifts Allah has provided your family: your wealth. Your material wealth is not anindicator of how much your faith is worth. Therefore, you should never judge your statusin life with money--your status is determined by your deen--your religion and way of life.So, live your life responsibly, after all, the one who misuses and abuses his/her wealth,is guilty of possible waste and arrogance. Don’t like the term: Frugal-Minded? Then, try

Value-Spending.

• Know The Financial Rights of Each Family Member in Islam. Your husband’sobligations is to provide your shelter, food, clothing, and financial means for you to livecomfortably, therefore it is your responsibility to spend wisely. Spend your moneyreasonably and responsibly on the necessities in life, such as clothes, education, healthand hygiene for you, your husband and children. However, if your husband is miserywith his money and you do not have necessities, you are permitted to proudly, notsecretly, use the money to fulfill the family’s needs. Keep in mind, that as a Muslim wifeor mom, it is not your responsibility to bring money into the household. And, if you incur

money it becomes your own wealth, which you can spend as you wish. This luxury, notafforded in many other cultures or religions, should never be under-appreciated or takenfor granted. Meaning, if you have wealth and your family is experiencing difficulties,remember that charity must first start at home--so, helping your family carries greatbenefits for you in this life and the hereafter. On the other hand, if your husband isexperiencing great fortune, and you desire to work, your duty to your family and hometakes precedence. It takes a creative mom to find balance for her family--and it starts bymaintaining balance herself first.




• Building a Resourceful Network. Being resourceful doesn't stop at knowing things--it’salso knowing people. The power of networking helps greatly in living a more religious,frugal, value-spending, green, natural life, because like-minded people help others toachieve your shared goals quicker and easier. See your time spent sharing tips and

tools to live life simpler as an investment in your time well spent. By setting a purpose of being more resourceful when you are with other moms, you become more determined inyour time spent together rather than resorting to gossiping or backbiting which isprohibited acts in Islam. Your resourceful network will help you join the freecycle.orgmovement, teach you how to knit, share deals, help you find freebies, keep you moreGod-centered in all your actions, and much more.

• Learn how to save and invest based on Sharia laws.o Don’t use savings account, bonds, or any interest-bearing bank options.o Save cash.o Purchase gold or certified gems that maintain its value. Invest in your Muslim

brothers and sisters by offering creative financing options, shared home

ownership, business investments, or sharia-approved stocks.o Keep in mind that it is allowable to invest and maintain financially-healthy

business relationships with non-Muslims, and typically there’s more to gain that just financially when working collaboratively with non-Muslims becauseinvestments should be based on value, and their knowledge have provenpriceless.

o Your goal is to maintain your cash value at all time, and increase its value whenrational options become available.

o While simpler said than done, it’s your duty to invest your time to learn how tosave and invest according to the laws of Islam not solely for achieving thegreatest financial value--but more importantly to please Allah, for remembranceof Allah is never forgotten in this world and/or the hereafter.

• Learn how to build your wealth with an Entrepreneurial Mindset. Now, that you aresuccessful at, or at least are trying, to clear your family’s debt, spend cash only, buildwealth through wise investments of your available cash, properties, and belongings; withthe correct God-centered mindset, the next logical tip is to be more resourceful throughentrepreneurialism. Thinking like an entrepreneur is about thinking creatively andinvesting wisely. Weighing one’s best value of his/her time and money, means asuccessful entrepreneur strategically weighs market-research and invests accordingly.Your goal is not to be the next millionaire, but it is to achieve the millionaire’s mindset: tomake money when the opportunity presents itself. So, if you’re able to make a few buckswith your family’s highly-talented new past-time of knitting, you have an entrepreneurialmindset. If you bring your passion of life online, and make money in the process--youhave an entrepreneurial mindset. Follow a mentor, invest wisely, and your entrepreneurial-minded hobby has great potential to bring you wealth. Many moms aresuccessfully making money online, and if this fits your family’s lifestyle; it’s a worthwhileoption to explore further.




• Give for the sake of Allah. Give often. If you adhere to all the above tips, you arespending the appropriate amount of charity on your family, which may even bring your family more wealth in the process. As Muslims, we know that any charity given to thename of Allah is multiplied ten-fold, inshaAllah, God willing. Be mindful that your charitymust be given purely, with the intention of pleasing Allah and Him Alone. So, it’simportant to know that charity should never been given as an “investment”. Only Allah

knows our pure intentions, and it given purely, He is the judge as to when He will rewardour efforts--be it in this world, or in the hereafter.

Focusing on Frugal Living and Making Money Online

From Confused Coupon Criticizer to Coupon Connoisseur (in the making)

Listed below are a few tips that helped me reduce my weekly grocery bill for our familyof five from $167.50/week to $89/week in two-months, without giving up my sanity, red meat,pricey dairy products, or daily produce.

Have you ever thought the following?

• I don't have time or patience to clip and organized coupons,• I can never save enough money to make it worth my while,• I'm too brand-loyal to even find value from coupons,• My family eats too much red meats, dairy, and fresh produce; coupons will never make a

dent in my grocery bill,• My goal is not to have a $40 grocery bill--but, saving $40 from my grocery bill would be

great,• My family is not willing to eat frozen or canned fruits or vegetables just because I have a

coupon for them,• Store-hopping is not worth the gas in my tank,• Searching circulars is too much work,• Organizing a whole week's menu is mind-boggling,• I despise getting newspaper ink on my hands (no, really...),• Ugh...all this coupon lingo is so confusing, and• Since I save enough money with my frugal family-fun day trips, homeschooling

educational goodies, etc. I'll just attribute my high grocery bill to paying for convenience...or laziness

If you felt any of these concerns above, don't worry...I felt every single one of them. So, if I canbe such a Confused Coupon Criticizer, and still cut my grocery bill in half in 2-months, you cantoo!

Tips to cutting your grocery bill in half in less than 2 months: • Involve your kids. Make coupon finding, circular reviewing, and grocery shopping a

frugal family fun activity. If it wasn't for my girls to keep me motivated, I would have givenup long ago. With every "Mama, I saved $1!" surprised cheer, I was committed tocoupon and circular shopping, for the joy first, and then the savings.




• Turn boring, cranky errands with kids into fun family field trips. People are amazedhow much fun my three girls and I have as we travel the grocery aisle. Many commenthow it's a pleasure to see little astute shoppers, instead of whining, crying, bored kidsdragging behind the cart. Since we're homeschoolers, we're always talking about mathtoo.

• Stop Clipping Coupons; Organize Them! I use a 3-ring file-pocket and filler-paper binder. While big and clunky, it has everything in its right place. The front side hascirculars filed by week, with special fles for "store-specific coupons" (drug-store specificcoupons) and "outings" (restaurants, events/field trips). I use filler paper to write out myweekly menu, which for me only lists the meat I'm going to cook for dinner each night.

Also, I list "deals" at different stores. I use binder sleeves to put the receipts in for theweek, and have baseball-card sleeves to organize rebates or special little coupons withno particular place to go.

• Learn the lingo right from the start. It only takes minutes to review a "Learning thelingo" article.

• Think Strategic Shopper, not Cheap Couponer. CouponMom.com found that 47% of women who use coupons are educated, affluent women who choose to use coupons,not necessarily out of necessity but for the savings.

• Let the Pros "tell" you what to do. Time is money, so stop wasting it. I follow the blogposts of Deal Seeking Mom and the forums of Coupon Mom. When I first got started, Iwas following nearly a dozen blogs, which left me confused and overwhelmed. Now thatI know both website's posting schedule, I'm a loyal follower to only these two frugal andsavvy moms.

• Survey your starting point, and then set a realistic goal. My husband and I useMint.com for free.

o We tracked my grocery bill for 6-months and averaged $167.50/week.o Realistic goal: Save 25% in Month-1, then 50% by Month-3.

• Track your spending. I have a tiny notebook in my purse that I write all my purchasesfor the day then submit to Mint.com at night. Now, I voice record on my Smartphone if I’m in a rush, or I submit directly on the Mint.com app for Android.

• Don't drive around to save pennies; fit detours for dollars. I keep my coupon binder in my car, so if I happen to drive by one of the stores with special "deals", I make a quick

detour.

• Shop at discount stores, such as Price Rite, Save-a-lot and ALDI's. I found that PriceRite has the most name brands and best prices, and they carry halal meats (Islamic-permissible foods, like Kosher for Jewish people). Save-a-lot has an email list with $5/off sign-up coupons; and they always have the cheapest bananas in town. ALDI often hasgood deals beyond grocery shopping that are worth making the additional trip.




• Only use cash. If you can, cash forces you to stay within your budget and stretch the billfurther, rather than resorting to a debit or credit card's unseen dollars & cents. [It leads toa debt-free life too].

• Be patient, persevere, and work on one goal at a time.The success of saving withthe non-coupon-clipping, circular-organizing system; is that with every new week you

add dozens of more coupons into your personal database. Therefore, you potentiallysave more money each and every week. Now, that I reached my grocery-bill goal onemonth early, I'm starting to get into the drug-store coupon/circular shopping strategies,and other fun savings.

• Find a network and stick with these smart & fun chicks! I love Deal Seeking Mom'scommunity. Tara & her guest bloggers' posts are always easy to read and understandand are extremely welcoming and encouraging for any Frugal Newbie, such as myself.

It’s important to consider what type of couponer you aim to be. Is your goal to get as manygroceries as you can for the least amount of money? Or, are you pleased just to save on your grocery bill? While, I prefer the latter, it’s a life choice that you must decide for your family.

How I Make Money Blogging – Must-Have Tools and Steps to Take

Whenever I’m asked, “How do I make money blogging?” I always reply that it’s all about “settingyour blog up right by using the right tools, and networking with the right people”. Whenever I talkto moms interested in making money online from home, I always explain that it takes someinvestment. And, it’s a trade off of your time or money. Since all the moms I ever talk to alwayshave limited of both, my #1 advice is:

Value your Time & Money, Invest accordingly

Don’t pay so little that the services are unreliable and inferior. Yet, don’t pay too much,that you can’t grow into or afford (in time or money) for the long haul.

So, you basically need to pay enough so you don’t waste your time for having to re-doeverything with another service. And, don’t pay too much, because buying big may not be whatyou ultimately want. After all, not all big ticket items are for everyone. In some cases, they arenot necessarily superior or better than the economical options anyways.

I’ve been online long enough to have experienced both ends. I lost when I paid too little,because I didn’t use a reliable service. So when something went wrong, I didn’t have thesupport I needed; therefore I alone had to figure out things myself–headache and waste of time.Then, I had to hire someone to fix everything anyways–waste of money.

And, I paid too much that unless I kept buying more, and/or working more hours, I wasn’t able tosustain the business they were promising me would be built.

So, I learned that there are many different lifestyles and business models online that doesn’twork well with me–my particular lifestyle, personality, or beliefs.




Keep in mind, that numbers don’t always mean everything. I know many online businessowners making solid full-time incomes without the big ticket items, nor the huge following,because their business is built on Quality, not Quantity.

And please, don’t think you can do everything for free.

Researching and trying to figure everything out for yourself can lead you down some awfulroads. Believe me; I wasted a good deal of my time and money having to fix problems because Ithought I could do it myself.

Reliable, affordable, must-have blogging tools

So, here are the basic, reliable and affordable tools I use today:

GoDaddy Domain Registrar . After four previous domain registrars, after spending 2hours and 40 minutes on the phone with me just to transfer my multiple domains, helpactivate each of them, update contact information, synchronize annual payment dates

and even helped me research the best combinations of words since the domain I wantedwas actually gone the moment I called—I can’t think of any reason to go with anyoneelse!

Mom Webs webhosting. Watch this great “Top 10 Reasons Why MomWebswebhosting Rocks!” video clip that my daughter and I made and won 2nd prize for getting the most votes. After 7 years and 3 failed webhosts prior, I’m stuck for MomWebsfor good!

WAHMCart shopping cart and autoresponder . WAHM = Work At Home Mom. After two failed attempts (one free and one paid), I’ve been a member of WAHMCart for over 4 years now, and never turned back. All bloggers (not just internet marketers) need anemail list which is managed by an autoresponder system. A shopping cart is a systemthat allows you to sell products or informational products (such as ebooks, ecourses,memberships, etc.) online (which accepts major credit cards), and have affiliates sellunder you. Even if you never plan to sell products online, for the price of many reputableautoresponders, if you get WAHMCart it’s as if you’re getting a shopping cart for free.

Mom Masterminds Mentoring Program. I started off with them 7 years ago, and while I

went astray following a couple of other mentors and programs; the lifestyle, straight-talk,and sisterhood of these honest, down-to-Earth, work at home moms (many whohomeschool) is what I needed most. If they can juggle it all, and successfully makemoney online–so can I. Kelly and Lynette lead, guide, and motivate by example; and allthe members equally share in the support and necessary cheerleading as well. Thisprogram is not designed solely for the aspiring Professional Blogger, rather it’s aresource for the Online Business Owner. In addition to mentoring and networking, MomMasterminds offer special members-only discounts, how-to tutorials, audios, videos and




much more. Not sure if you’re ready to join yet? Take this free 9-day ecourse and learnthe basics of establishing a thriving internet business.

Smart Blogging Basics. Following this 10-week program really gives you all thefundamentals to start off a WordPress blog right, right from the start. It helps you positionyour blog to become the branded business it deserves, by first branding you as theexpert in your field. I’m presently going through this program and have seen positiveresults from every lesson I implement.

WordPress Orientation – While I haven’t attended a session yet, just knowing that Ihave the expertise available to answer my questions every Monday night is a necessarysafety net that was worth invested in for me. But, I highly recommend this program toanyone interested in moving over their blogs to WordPress from blogspot. I moved allmy blogs to WordPress back in 2006, and I couldn’t be happier.

Mom Spark Media - I’ve been a member since Amy opened her doors, and while Iwasn’t very active until just recently the mommies offered me an extremely warmwelcome. The moms here are so filled with energy, knowledge, that the atmosphere of sharing and learning together is absolutely incredible. No question is too dumb, andevery expert willfully gives with a sense of humility. While I’m members of dozens of groups and communities, this group tops my list. In addition to blogging courses,monthly live chats, and a great community, paid members have access to someawesome opportunities to work with fabulous small, mid-sized and big brand names. [If

you decide to join please write PONNSABRA (must be in caps) referred you.]

• Stretch Yourself Challenge – This is the first step to making a sustainable, onlinebusiness while branding you an expert in your field. Since I left the professional bloggingworld, to turn to mommy blogging, I’m re-inventing myself online here on AmericanMuslim Mom, so Kelly’s Challenge is really stretching me professionally mostly becauseI’m taking my very personal homeschooling, world-traveling, religious views to blogging.So, consider taking this challenge with me, and we can cheer one another along theway.

• Blog Editorial Calendar for 2011 – Starting the last week of December 2010, I have yetto miss a single day of posting thanks to the combination of this hand-written calendar organization and WordPress Editorial Calendar plugin. My need to upkeep a well-organized blog has finally come true after seven years of posting haphazardly, on therush, and with random note sheets scattered around.

Now that you have the right tools,




How You Can Make Money Online

By implementing one or a combination of all the below tactics:

• Sell a physical product online. For example, I have a best-selling book on amazon.

• Create and sell infoproducts, such as ebooks, ecourses, audios, membership sites,etc. I presently offer free eproducts such as this ebook, and building an ebook line as Itype. You can get free goodies just by signing up to my email list at http://AmericanMuslimMom.com

• Sell advertising on your site or create online campaigns. For very reasonable rates,work at home moms, nonprofit organizations and businesses purchase buttons or

banners on my site, product reviews, or create creative online marketing campaigns thatfit their budget and publicity needs. Check out our many options here.You can do this onyour site(s) too.

• Affiliate marketing. The #1 method I make money ever since I came online in 2004. For example, most of the paid products that I use and listed above are all linked with myaffiliate codes showing that I’m referring you to their services. In good faith, Iwholeheartedly love, purchased, and use all the above services on a regular basis. I’mbasically an online sales affiliate referring potential clients to their products or services,and I get paid a commission when someone purchases that product or service. Onehuge benefit in the first week of the Smart Blogging Skills program is Kelly’s AffiliateMarketing Expo audios, notes and assignments. After only the first lesson, I thought I gotwell-worth the small investment I made when starting the program.

• Sponsored posts or reviews. In my professional blog I used to make a ton of moneythrough direct sponsored post, or work with a sponsored broker. However, I ampresently getting the majority of sponsorships for reviews or creative marketingcampaigns explained above. To tap into the sponsored review programs, you can viewthe list of Partners and Sponsors that I work with here.

Building a Blog, Brand and Business

Last thing to mention about making money online through blogging, is that some–actually, veryfew bloggers–are fortunate to “”fall” into the professional of blogging. But, the majority has toWork, and Work Hard for it. So, it’s best to blog right, right from the start.

Think of building your blog in simple steps:




1. Get a Professional Blog Design – Think I’m worthy of owning my own domain. Get aURL, and set up a professional image. You can get one via MomWebs webhosting, andthey will help you install a WordPress blog too!

2. Think: My Blog is My Brand – Think of your blog as one of many, or the primarymarketing avenues for your online business. As mentioned above, the Stretch Yourself Challenge will help you here.

3. Think: My Brand is My Business – Build a sustainable business worthy of your timeand monetary investment, and watch it grow as you nurture it. Get the right tools andright network of online business owners to help you reach your goals.

Since Making Money Online is a process, if you have any questions at all, please comment on

directly on my blog so everyone can benefit from your questions being answered publicly. But,you can always tweet me @ponnsabra, become our Facebook Fan, or email me [email protected]

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