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Module: Vocabulary 1.

Family ties

(This unit is supplementary material to the original Family Ties unit, to be found here!

However, it can be used as a separate unit for vocabulary and structure!)1. Read the following text by a young native speaker of English. Next follow the links and do as many of the exercises and games as you wish.I come from a middle class, or rather, an upper-middle class family, although my parents individually came from working class backgrounds in that my mother was actually brought up in a coal mining village in the south of Scotland and when she was a child, they lived in very, very poor working class conditions. My father was brought up in a working to middle class family. They moved about a lot because my grandfather was in the army, so he had to move around depending on where the army needed him. As my father became a doctor he became a GP it was fairly well-paid, then my immediate family took a step up in the class ladder and became better-off than their parents were. Also, the people they associated with were different as my father was a professional and we lived in the south of England, which is more middle or upper middle class. I have a brother and a sister. We were brought up largely on the Isle of Wight in the south of England, which is a small, quite touristy island and I suppose I had a quite pleasant childhood in that way, the environment and the surroundings that we were fairly idyllic and we didnt have to deal with anything associated with unpleasant city life. Theres no large industry there, very little crime, not many places where you should not go. On the other hand, theres a lot of open space, theres the seaside, we lived very near the sea, a lot of hills, fields and forests and so on, so it was pretty pleasant to grow up there.

Nowadays, physically I dont have very close contact with my brother and sister, as my brother live God knows how many miles away in Tokyo and my sister lives in the north of London, so we see each other very rarely, talk to each other very rarely. I would say, however, that emotionally we are reasonably close, in fact closer than when we were teenagers. Perhaps thats true of everybody, but when I was a teenager, I wasnt especially close to my older sister but then later on became closer to her, I suppose, as I matured and saw eye to eye with her on more things and I was less of a rebellious teenager. Actually, I was quite a rebel, or so Id like to think anyway. I think my rebellion took the form of refusing to do things rather than doing things, so my rebellion was one which said. Dont do anything which anybody tells you to do. As I have already said, I wasnt a great student in the last part of school and that was largely down to the fact that I didnt want to go along with the system and the way it worked. I really wanted to do everything in a rather different way, I wanted to fight back against all these rules and anything that I was given.

My mother stayed home with us during my early childhood. I would say that its really quite different in Hungary. Whereas here, I suppose from what I know, its almost expected and usual for mothers to work, Id say, in England its not unknown and its not strange, but on the other hand its certainly not expected and theres a relatively large percentage who dont work or have a part-time job only. Having said that, its also true that here in Hungary you have much longer maternity leave, so this three years is actually more like 3 months in England. I dont know the exact figure, but its very, very little time. Mothers are usually back at work within half a year after giving birth. Theres much more use of crche facilities that there is in Hungary. I suppose thats partly to do with the economic situation. Mothers and families can afford it better than in Hungary. So she stayed home with us. You see, she was a nurse and since she gave birth to my sister shes been a housewife basically, although she always worked part time. I remember when we were growing up that she worked a few times a month, it was more like helping out, really, in various surgeries and clinics.

Comparing the stereotypical Hungarian and British family, one thing that stands out quite starkly is that in Britain, I think, over the last perhaps 20, 30 years people have become much more independent (members of families, I mean), whereas in Hungary I can see that that process has just started to happen or it is happening now. What I mean is that, for example, in England it would be typical for somebody after school at the age of 18 or 19 to go away to university and move from home. Very few people stay at home when they go to university. Thats partly to do with that the course they want to do is not necessarily near them, but I think also a lot of it is that they want to go away. I certainly know that a lot of my friends and people I knew wanted to go away, they wanted to be independent. They wanted to stand on their own two feet and didnt want to be dependent on their parents any more. That kind of thing, obviously, does happen in Hungary, but much less often. Of course, it is partly to do with that so many Hungarians live in Budapest and so many of the colleges and universities are in Budapest, so many people would already be living in the town where theyre going to go to university or college. Then, of course, economic factors must play a part as well. In that sense people tend to become independent earlier. Most of the time, theres encouragement from parents to do it. I think parents in England want that too, because they want their independence, too. They want to be free of their kids in a way, you know, earlier and they dont feel the need to keep hold of their kids and be close to them and have them around all the time. So theres very much a culture in which grandparents and parents and children dont really live together and dont really want to live together. Ideally now, they would all like to have their own places as early and as soon as possible and, of course theyre in touch and theyre still a family, but at the same time theyre very independent. Whereas in Hungary I still see a lot of families where, even though its not expected, it is certainly accepted that when the grandparents die, the parents move in with their children and children will stay at home perhaps until they get married and even when they move out, they dont want to move far so that the family stays together much, much closer than in England, I would say. We somehow dont feel the same sort of depth of family ties. Or perhaps we do, but we want our independence more, or something like that.

Actually, I find this a little claustrophobic in Hungary. After being used to that kind of independence, I find it a little bit smothering to be in a sort of situation where Id feel that somehow my independence is threatened or something, which, I suppose, is stupid and it isnt really that way. Im used to being my own boss, doing whatever I want, having a place, which is in whatever condition I want it to be. So, here, its like being in a kind of situation where youre expected to be with other people and you have to consider other people in the place youre living and give them more of your time and so on, which, of course, is not a bad thing, because theyre your family and people you want to be with and you want to give them your time, but at the same time, I somehow got used to really being on my own and doing things my own way and making my own decisions about things.

Help: There are extra pages to help you learn the expressions:

a) practise some important and useful expressions HEREb) check how much you remember the important prepositions HEREc) practise some vocabulary items with an interactive test HEREd) some vocabulary translation practice coming your way HERE

Vocabulary notebook1. I come from a middle class family kzposztlybeli csaldbl szrmazom

2. in that annyiban, hogy

3. when I was a child amikor gyerek voltam

4. I was brought up fel lettem nevelve

5. moved about a lot - sokat kltzkdtnk

6. depending on - attl fggen, hogy ...

7. it was fairly well-paid viszonylag jl fizetett

8. immediate family - a kzvetlen csald

9. people they associated with az emberek, akikkel bartkoztak

10. largely - nagyrszt

11. quite touristy elg npszer hely (turistk krben)

12. I suppose - gy gondolom

13. I had a quite pleasant childhood elg kellemes gyerekkorom volt

14. fairly idyllic elg idillikus

15. theres very little crime kevs a bnzs (j a kzbiztonsg)

16. on the other hand - msrszrl

17. theres a lot of open space sok nyitott tr van

18. it was pretty pleasant to grow up there kellemes volt itt felnni

19. nowadays - mostanban

20. we see each other very rarely ritkn ltjuk egymst

21. I would say - azt mondanm

22. emotionally we are reasonably close - rzelmileg elg kzel llunk egymshoz

23. thats true of everybody ez mindenkire igaz

24. wasnt especially close to my older sister nem voltam klnsen kzel nvremhez

25. I matured - rettebb lettem

26. see eye to eye with her on more things tbb dologban egyetrtek vele

27. Actually nos,

28. as I have already said amint ezt mr mondtam

29. I wasnt a great student nem voltam valami j dik

30. and that was largely down to ez nagyrszt azrt volt, mert ...

31. go along with the system elfogadni a rendszert

32. wanted to do everything in a different way mindent mskppen akartam csinlni

33. during my early childhood -fiatalkoromban

34. from what I know amennyire n tudom

35. he is expected to do sth elvrjk, hogy csinljon vmit

36. not unknown and its not strange nem ismeretlen, s nem is szokatlan

37. certainly - biztosan

38. theres a relatively large percentage viszonylag nagy az arnya azoknak, akik ...

39. have a part-time job rszmunkaidben dolgozni

40. having said that ugyanakkor (kb. most, hogy ezt mondtam, azt is meg kell mondanom, hogy ...)

41. dont know the exact figure - nem tudom a pontos szmot

42. back at work within half a year after giving birth ltalban szls utn fl vvel visszamennek dolgozni

43. theres much more use of crche facilities jobban kihasznljk a blcsdket

44. can afford (to do) sth megengedhet vmit magnak (anyagilag)

45. you see - tudod, ...

46. basically alapjban vve

47. grow up - felnni

48. the stereotypical Hungarian family a tipikus magyar csald

49. one thing that stands out quite starkly is that az egyik dolog, ami nagyon vilgosan kitnik az az, hogy

50. people have become much more independent az emberek sokkal nllbbak

51. I mean gy rtem, hogy ...

52. that process has just started to happen ez a folyamat csak most kezddtt

53. What I mean is that ezzel azt akarommondani, hogy

54. thats partly to do with- ez rszben ...-nek tudhat be

55. also a lot of it is that nagy szerepe van eben annak is, hogy

56. they wanted to be independent fggetlenek akartak lenni

57. stand on their own two feet megllnak a sajt lbukon

58. they arent dependent on their parents any more nem fggnek a szleiktl tbb

59. obviously - nyilvnvalan

60. but much less often de sokkal ritkbban

61. economic factors must play a part as well anyagi szempontok is bizonyra szerepet jtszanak

62. theres encouragement from parents to do it biztatst kapnak erre a szlktl

63. dont feel the need to keep hold of their kids nem rzik, hogy kzel kell tartaniuk magukhoz a gyerekeiket

64. be close to them kzel vannak hozzjuk

65. have them around all the time llandan krlttk vannak (nluk vannak)

66. ideally idelis esetben

67. as early and as soon as possible olyan gyorsan, s olyan korn, ahogy csak lehet

68. theyre in touch kapcsolatban vannak egymssal

69. at the same time ugyanakkor

70. dont feel the same sort of depth of family ties nincs meg a csldi kapcsolatok ilyen mlysge

71. I feel that somehow my independence is threatened gy rzem, hogy a fggetlensgem veszlyben van

72. Im used to being my own boss hozz vagyok szokva, hogy a magam ura vagyok

73. doing whatever I want azt csinlok, amit csak akarok

74. have to consider other people figyelembe kell venned msokat (alkalmazkodnod kell)

75. doing things my own way gy csinlom a dolgokat, ahogyan n szeretnm

76. make my own decisions about things sajt magam dntk a dolgaimrl