Sunday at Trinity

8:30 TRADITIONAL WORSHIP

9:30 FELLOWSHIP IN NARTHEX

9:40 SMALL GROUPS

10:45 MODERN WORSHIP

NO SUNDAY NIGHT LIVE THIS EVENING

5:00 YOUTH MEETING

6:00 DIVORCECARE

6:30 AL-A-NON

7:00 AA MEETING

Website: www.trinitychurchum.org

Pastor: G. Scott Pattison -- Discipleship Coordinator: Dave Beare – Ministry Deployment Associate: Tina Wilkinson --

College & Career Group and Young Couples & Families: Jim Wilkinson, --

Director of Children & Families: Sonja Richards -- Youth Director: Jon Zinnel -- Church Secretary: Hazel Mapes

THE TRINITY SPIRE Published by

TRINITY CHURCH U. M. 229 S. State Street – P.O. Box 431

Kendallville, Indiana 46755

NON-PROFIT

ORGANIZATION

US POSTAGE

PAID

KENDALLVILLE, IN

PERMIT NO. 73

Return Service Requested

The Trinity Spire Phone Box: (260) 347-0056 -- Fax: (260) 347-0080

E-Mail: Office—trinitychurchum@yahoo.com; Pastor Scott—gspattison@gmail.com

Website: www.trinitychurchum.org

OUR PURPOSE STATEMENT: To be and Make Disciples of Jesus Christ

for the Transformation of the world.

Volume 39, Issue 4 April, 2013

It has been a little over a year now that we have been working on the

FCJ (Fruitful Congregation Journey) prescriptions. Last Easter we transitioned our

second worship experience to the Fellowship Hall (during the sermon), and our

ministry teams have been working hard to fulfill all of these prescriptions since last

March! There has been much hard work, late hours, and prayer that have gone into

fulfilling these prescriptions, this past year. Our FCJ coach tells us we are ahead of

schedule. He tells us that Trinity is a church he “brags about” as to the manner,

intensity, and faithfulness we have as we have approached these prescriptions toward

health. Great job all! I think it is fair to say that none of us knew what to expect, and

there was a little “nervousness” as we approached these prescriptions. A year or so

later, we are healthier as a congregation, and making strides with a renewed hope for

the future!

As I am writing this, I am preparing to go back into surgery and recovery for

the other foot (for those who may not remember I will be having my arch fused and a modified bunionectomy on my left

foot - and this time I am adding a “claw toe” repair). I know more about what to expect, and what time frames that are

reasonable. I been down this path, understand the challenges, and healing time frames. I am less anxious on one hand, and

know the hard work – but also the pay off on the other. To be honest MY timeframe was unreasonable with what I was

trying to plan when I started this journey this past January. I thought it would move along fast, but I had to adjust to the

healing of the foot. I am much better equipped today for the next surgery because I slowed down, embraced the natural

pace and timing, and understand the “whys” of the therapeutic process. I am thankful that I will be able to drive this time!

I have learned a lot about me through this process too. I find that this is also very similar to how we have been as a

congregation with our FCJ prescriptions.

One of our FCJ prescriptions was “zero-based staffing.” Well, we are bringing the new staffing structure and staff

members on board! Over the next couple of Sundays, during the sermon times, our new staff people will not only share a

little about themselves, but will also share about Trinity’s Discipleship pathway, their role, and how it will help you grow

in your faith and faithfulness. Dave Beare will share on April 7, Tina Wilkinson will share on April 14, and Jim

Wilkinson will share on April 21. We have spent this last month “bringing them on board,” and we at Trinity are greatly

blessed to have them as part of the team! I think you will find them to be a blessing as they share on their respective

Sundays, as well as how they will help us “be and make disciples for the transformation of the world for Jesus Christ”!

Please make a point to come to worship to not only hear our direction of disciple building, but to support them as well!

We are not fully complete with this prescription though. We still have some openings that we are praying the people into!

Please keep praying for who God has in store as our Children’s Coordinator and Visitation Coordinator, as well as the

next Youth Coordinator, when Jon leaves (remember he is a senior in college and engaged to be married this fall)!

We will not have communion in April. We apologize for those who enjoy that as a meaningful part of your

monthly worship experience! If part of your regular worship is to give a “Love Fund” donation at the altar railing during

communion, please continue so via the offering plate or drop it off at the church office. We will have communion again

on May 5.

Easter is over. We have celebrated the resurrection. Now, let’s live out the reality of the resurrection in our lives

individually and as a congregation!

Growing with you!

WHAT’S HAPPENING AT TRINITY Monday (04/08/)

2:00 REMINDER the Church Office will close at 2:00 p.m.

today. 6:30 1st Place Bible Study--Room 101.

Tuesday (04/09) 2:00 REMINDER the Church Office will close at 2:00 p.m.

today.

6:30 WOW Beth Moore Bible Study--Room 101.

Wednesday (04/10) 2:00 REMINDER the Church Office will close at 2:00 p.m.

today. 6:30 Church Council Meeting—Room 101.

6:30 Praise Team--Fellowship Hall.

Thursday (04/11) 2:00 REMINDER the Church Office will close at 2:00 p.m. today.

6:30 Cub Scouts.

Friday (04/12)

10:00 WOW Beth Moore Bible Study--Room 101

6:00 A.A—Fellowship Hall.

Saturday (04/13)

5:00 Meth Anonymous.

TRINITY CHURCH UM

P.O. Box 431, 229 S. State Street

Kendallville, IN 46755

Phone: 260 347-0056 – Fax: 260 347-0080

e-mail: trinitychurchum@yahoo.com

Website: www.trinitychurchum

We realize that everyone needs prayers. Here at Trinity your prayer needs are very important to us. The Trinity Prayer Requests are for needs of prayer that can be filled out by anyone person of any age. They are located in the pews. Current needs for prayer are:

Ashley Adcox, Georgia Asbury (hospital), Larry Bailey, Laura

Balsmeyer, Charlotte Bedson, Ana Boman (breast cancer),

(hospitalized), Alli Burton, Floyd Burnworth, Kitty Burnworth, Virginia

Buttermore, Vickie Butler, Linda Coons, Don Corbin, Fred Cornett,

Mary Ann Cougill (illness), Marshall Davis, Jeremy Delacruz, Richard

Dorscher, The Family of Lisa Faboy, Marvin Fager, Deb Feighner

(knee surgery), Phillip Foster (for him to come to church), Donni Frain,

Walker Fruits, Charles Gray, Sarah Grismore, Eugene Hamlin (illness),

Emma Harter (illness), Wayne Hartigan, Raven Hensley, Barbara Hose,

Josslyn Howard, Bill Higginbotham, Brad Huff, Cathy Johnson, Mike

Johnson, Butch Kelly, April Kimmell, Chelsa Kimmel, Matt Kimmell

(health), Todd Kline, Danielle Knox, Shirley Langly, Paul & Ann

Liebing (surgery), Todd McDonald (cancer), The Family of Gerald

Mefferd, Dick Metzger, Marie Musser (health and personal problems),

Dawn Neace, Matt Ogden, The Parr Family, Rhonda Phillips (surgery),

Mary Pyle(starting end of life), John & Carol Ramsey, Verlin Reeve,

Scott Reinewald, Evelyn Rice, Adam Ross, Matthew Roush (Military),

Sally (stroke), Wanda Shumaker Family, Becky & Emily Winnerstrom

Family, Marshall (cancer), Amanda (emotional/physical illness), Paul

(depression), Donna & Geoff (cancer), Donna, Amanda (divorce--

forced to live on own), Joan (difficulty walking and breathing),

Catherine (recuperating from surgery), Dorothy, Joshua (jail), Rory

(wife left him), Abused Children, James, Cousin Donny, Austin, Judy

(cancer/Surgery).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Ellen Lash will be turning 100 years old on April 8th

. It would

be nice if all her Trinity Friends would send her birthday

greetings. If you’d like to send Ellen a card, please send it to:

Ellen Lash

1002 J. Street

LaPorte, IN 46350

Lift up in Prayer

A Ministry Cluster is a group of 4 to 9 local churches who

choose to work together to accomplish the Gospel mission in

their area, and it is also be a group of local churches who share

common ministry needs and who work together to learn from

each other. We have a rotation list of the churches in our cluster

to lift up in prayer. In April we will lift up in prayer Apr. 7—

Albion Asbury, Apr. 14—Albion Trinity, Apr. 21—Avilla

Calvary, Apr. 28--Kendallville Faith.

Lenten Lunches

Thank you to the Trinity members who volunteered, one or more

times, in some capacity during the seven Lenten lunches served

on Wednesdays from February 13 through March 27..

Firstly, a big thank you to Scout Troop #103 and their leaders,

Maddie and Rob Davis, who set up the tables on Tuesday

evenings. Another big thank you to Jim Haddock, and members

of his Friendship Sunday School Class, for taking the tables and

chairs down following lunch on Wednesdays.

The ladies who cooked and served in the dining room were:

Betty Preston, Doris Marshall, Barbara Lauer, Debra Hockleyl,

Diane Lute, Joanne Sibert, Sue Huff, Pat Reade, Susie Franks,

Jean Baker, Marsha Bassett and Barb Huth..

Last, but not least, a special thank you to the men who served,

washed dishes, and cleaned up. They were: Skip Traster, David

Baker, and Don Shippy.

Donations minus expenses to given to the Love Fund to help

community people in need.

Fran Moran, Chair

In Our Mail

Dear Trinity UMC,

We wanted you to know that you have been in our

prayers. We have been asking God to richly bless you, to

hold you close in difficult times, to grant you success in all

your goals, and to give you a prosperous, grace-filled year.

Joy in His Service!

Pastor Sherrie Drake & Parker UMC

January Worship Stats (Attendance & General Offering)

Date 8:30 10:45 Total General Offering

03/03 69 80 149 $6,718

03/10 79 60 139 $2,996

03/17 83 77 163 $3,436

03/24 103 87 193 $8,116

03/31 108 86 194 $4,667

He Is Risen! Our sanctuary was beautiful on Easter Sunday morning with all the lovely Easter flowers provided by our Trinity Family

in memory or honor of their loved ones and our Easter sermon was meaningful as we celebrated our risen Lord. Easter is over and we

continue to move forward here at Trinity.

We now look forward to Spring and all the good things that it will bring.

A big event at Trinity is our annual Spring Rummage Sale. Our Mission Commission works hard to make this a successful (and fun)

time. Mark Friday, April 19 and Saturday, April 20 on your calendar as those are the days that the Spring Rummage Sale will be open.

Set up will be Sunday through Thursday beginning on Sunday, April 14. If you can help any (or all) of these days, it would be

appreciated. Sign-up sheets are in the Narthex to let us know what you would like to do.

On another note, a big thank you goes to some of those who have stepped up to help in the church office due to our new office hours.

Maddie Davis, Ardean Ebert and Nancy Shellenbarger have been wonderful in helping to make this go smoother.

We welcome our new staff members and look forward to growing forward with them. Say hello to Dave Beare, and Tina and Jim

Wilkinson.

YOUR CHANCE TO BE A LOSER!

Losers are winners with First Place 4 Health, a

Christ-centered health and weight-loss program! First

Place 4 Health will help you create balance in the four

core areas of your life—emotional, spiritual, mental

and physical. The results? Weight loss and total health

from the inside out!

First Place 4 Health (ladies weight-loss group)

began a new 12 week session beginning the week of

February 4th

. They meet on Mondays at 6:30 pm at Trinity Church UM, 229 S State Street, Kendallville.

Make Every Day Your Best Day, a First

Place 4 Health Bible study, will help you examine the

way in which you live your live so you can focus on the

present, leave the past behind, and avoid worrying

about tomorrow. It is so easy to get caught up in the

busyness and stresses of each day that we neglect those

things that truly give us meaning. We look back on our

time, realizing that we have missed the best the day had

for us. We do not experience the full life that Jesus

intends for us. But starting right here, right now, we

can make course corrections in how we use our time so

that every day is truly our best day. The study will

guide you through biblical principles that will show

you how to embrace life day by day, seize each

moment, and use your time wisely in the power of the

Holy Spirit!

Based on proven techniques and 25 years of

experience, First Place 4 Health is the most complete

Christ-centered healthy living program available.

From the Church Office

Friendship Sunday School Class SUGAR

The Friendship Sunday School Class has decided to

support the Kendallville Food Pantry as one of our outreach projects. We want to get the whole church involved, so we are designating the first Sunday of every month as “Food Pantry Donation Sunday”.

April will be our Sixth Food Pantry Donation month, and the food item for the month of April is Sugar. Any brand (or store brand) of sugar is fine. We will have a collection site in the narthex for your donation.

The following are Epistles from our Bishop, Michael J. Coyner. We publish some of his Epistles in our monthly newsletter. Following are some of his most current writings. For those who would like to read more of Bishop Coyner’s Epistles, you may go to the following website…inumc.org and click on Bishop Mike Coyner and read all of his Epistles.

"Two Washings That

Week” (03/25)

As we celebrate the most Holy Week of the

Christian year, we read and re-read the familiar

scriptures of that week. I always enjoy looking for new insights in those old, familiar stories. Someone once said that when he

reads the Bible he finds himself checking to see if the ink is still wet,

because suddenly there seem to be new words in those old verses, new insights which make him wonder if that verse was just written and added to the text.

For me that experience has come with the

realization that there were two washings during Holy Week. On the day we call Maundy Thursday, Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. The very next day, the day we call Good Friday, Pontius Pilate washed his own

hands. Those two washings were quite different, both in context and in meaning, and they represent two very

divergent ways of living our lives. Jesus washed the feet of his disciples as an act

of humility, a way of reminding them to serve one another, to love one another, to care for one another. Pontius Pilate washed his own hands in a vain attempt to avoid responsibility, as a way of saying, "The death of Jesus, whom I have just condemned, is not my fault."

The one washing was the ultimate gift of love for others, the other washing was an infamous effort to refuse concern for another human being. The one washing has for all time demonstrated what service, leadership, caring, and sharing are all about. The other washing is still remembered in our English language as a description of avoiding responsibility. The one washing

was perhaps the most genuine expression of our connection with one another as human beings; the other washing stands as the most hypocritical act in history.

There were two washings that week, and those two washings remind us of the choice we all face in life – will we love and serve others, or will we live a life of avoidance and aloofness?

There were two washings that week. Which one will inform and shape our lives during this Holy Week?

*****

"Liar, Lunatic or Lord?” (03/19)

C. S. Lewis is credited with first raising the

question, "Do you believe Jesus was a liar, a lunatic, or The Lord?" He raised the issue as a way of sharpening the question: "Who is Jesus?"

Even a casual reading of the teachings and proclamations of Jesus demands that we consider whether Jesus was telling the truth. In the various "I

am" sayings of Jesus, along with a myriad of other statements, Jesus claims to be the chosen one of God, even claims to be "at one" with the Father. Jesus teaches with authority unlike other leaders and teachers of his day. He heals as a sign that God's kingdom is at hand. And he proclaims that the promises of God in the prophets of what we call the Old Testament are fulfilled

in him. So, what do we believe about Jesus? Was he a

liar when he said and did all of those things? Or was he a

deranged lunatic who was mistaken in his teachings and proclamations?

Or, was Jesus telling the truth, which means he is the Christ, the Messiah, The Lord?

Those seem to be our only choices. Is Jesus a Liar, a Lunatic, or The Lord?

Which is it for you? What do you believe about Jesus? As we approach the Palm Sunday and Holy Week, we all must answer that question. Don't answer too quickly,

even if you consider yourself a Christian. There is a big difference between believing in Jesus as Savior and also following Jesus as Lord. My "Bishop's Operational Team" (a group to advise me and help me lead) has just read the book "The Great Omission" by Dallas Willard in which he makes the point (these are my words): too much of

what we call "evangelism" has simply invited people to

be "saved" by accepting Jesus as Savior, but has neglected teaching people to be disciples who follow Jesus as Lord.

Following Jesus as Lord involves spiritual formation, discipline, growth in grace (that is our emphasis as United Methodists in the Wesleyan tradition), and moving on toward Christian Perfection

(another Wesley term). The book makes the point that many Christians have committed the great "omission" even in the midst of following the "great commission" of Matthew 28; namely, we have invited people to accept Jesus as Savior but we have not invited them to live as disciples of Jesus as Lord. In fact, we have not ourselves

modeled for the world what it means to follow Jesus as both Savior and Lord. Thus the "great omission."

So, don't answer too quickly the question about "liar, lunatic, or lord".

Consider what it means to allow Jesus to be Lord of your life before you answer. I know my answer. It is summed up in the earliest of all

Christian affirmations: Jesus is Lord. And I am striving to improve my own discipleship by allowing Jesus to lead me as Lord.

I hope he is Lord for you, too. Bishop Michael J. Coyner, Indiana Area of The United Methodist Church

The following are Epistles from our Bishop, Michael J. Coyner. We publish some of his Epistles in our monthly newsletter. Following are some of his most current writings. For those who would like to read more of Bishop Coyner’s Epistles, you may go to the following website…inumc.org and click on Bishop Mike Coyner and read all of his Epistles.

"Two Washings That

Week” (03/25)

As we celebrate the most Holy Week of the

Christian year, we read and re-read the familiar

scriptures of that week. I always enjoy looking for new insights in those old, familiar stories. Someone once said that when he

reads the Bible he finds himself checking to see if the ink is still wet,

because suddenly there seem to be new words in those old verses, new insights which make him wonder if that verse was just written and added to the text.

For me that experience has come with the

realization that there were two washings during Holy Week. On the day we call Maundy Thursday, Jesus washed the feet of his disciples. The very next day, the day we call Good Friday, Pontius Pilate washed his own

hands. Those two washings were quite different, both in context and in meaning, and they represent two very

divergent ways of living our lives. Jesus washed the feet of his disciples as an act

of humility, a way of reminding them to serve one another, to love one another, to care for one another. Pontius Pilate washed his own hands in a vain attempt to avoid responsibility, as a way of saying, "The death of Jesus, whom I have just condemned, is not my fault."

The one washing was the ultimate gift of love for others, the other washing was an infamous effort to refuse concern for another human being. The one washing has for all time demonstrated what service, leadership, caring, and sharing are all about. The other washing is still remembered in our English language as a description of avoiding responsibility. The one washing

was perhaps the most genuine expression of our connection with one another as human beings; the other washing stands as the most hypocritical act in history.

There were two washings that week, and those two washings remind us of the choice we all face in life – will we love and serve others, or will we live a life of avoidance and aloofness?

There were two washings that week. Which one will inform and shape our lives during this Holy Week?

*****

"Liar, Lunatic or Lord?” (03/19)

C. S. Lewis is credited with first raising the

question, "Do you believe Jesus was a liar, a lunatic, or The Lord?" He raised the issue as a way of sharpening the question: "Who is Jesus?"

Even a casual reading of the teachings and proclamations of Jesus demands that we consider whether Jesus was telling the truth. In the various "I

am" sayings of Jesus, along with a myriad of other statements, Jesus claims to be the chosen one of God, even claims to be "at one" with the Father. Jesus teaches with authority unlike other leaders and teachers of his day. He heals as a sign that God's kingdom is at hand. And he proclaims that the promises of God in the prophets of what we call the Old Testament are fulfilled

in him. So, what do we believe about Jesus? Was he a

liar when he said and did all of those things? Or was he a

deranged lunatic who was mistaken in his teachings and proclamations?

Or, was Jesus telling the truth, which means he is the Christ, the Messiah, The Lord?

Those seem to be our only choices. Is Jesus a Liar, a Lunatic, or The Lord?

Which is it for you? What do you believe about Jesus? As we approach the Palm Sunday and Holy Week, we all must answer that question. Don't answer too quickly,

even if you consider yourself a Christian. There is a big difference between believing in Jesus as Savior and also following Jesus as Lord. My "Bishop's Operational Team" (a group to advise me and help me lead) has just read the book "The Great Omission" by Dallas Willard in which he makes the point (these are my words): too much of

what we call "evangelism" has simply invited people to

be "saved" by accepting Jesus as Savior, but has neglected teaching people to be disciples who follow Jesus as Lord.

Following Jesus as Lord involves spiritual formation, discipline, growth in grace (that is our emphasis as United Methodists in the Wesleyan tradition), and moving on toward Christian Perfection

(another Wesley term). The book makes the point that many Christians have committed the great "omission" even in the midst of following the "great commission" of Matthew 28; namely, we have invited people to accept Jesus as Savior but we have not invited them to live as disciples of Jesus as Lord. In fact, we have not ourselves

modeled for the world what it means to follow Jesus as both Savior and Lord. Thus the "great omission."

So, don't answer too quickly the question about "liar, lunatic, or lord".

Consider what it means to allow Jesus to be Lord of your life before you answer. I know my answer. It is summed up in the earliest of all

Christian affirmations: Jesus is Lord. And I am striving to improve my own discipleship by allowing Jesus to lead me as Lord.

I hope he is Lord for you, too. Bishop Michael J. Coyner,

Indiana Area of The United Methodist Church

HUGE

RUMMAGE SALE

TRINITY CHURCH

UNITED METHODIST

State & Rush Streets

Kendallville, IN

in

Fellowship Hall & Narthex

FRIDAY, APRIL 19

9:00 AM – 5:00 PM

SATURDAY, APRIL 20

9:00 AM – 12:00 NOON ($2.00 PER BAG)

Children & Family News

By Sonja Richards, Director of Children & Family

A Note from the Director of Children

& Family It is April and

spring is here! April showers bring May

flowers, new life, and muddy feet!

Kids love to play outside in the sun and

rain. Take some time while you are outside to teach your kids about how things come back to life in the spring. It is also a good time to talk about Jesus

being their best friend and how he can help them to always have that feeling of new, fresh living.

This month the Sunday Night Live kids will begin the month with “Fun Times @ Kendallville Manor.” On

April 21st the kids will go on a quest and will be learning one of parables Jesus taught. We will end the month with one of the kid’s favorite activities Minute to Win It! on April 28th. We will end our

Sunday Night Live season with Fun & Games @ Carri Aungst’s farm on May 5th.

In this issue of Children & Family News, you will find a devotion, “Sowing and Reaping” and two articles

“Patterns in Family Life” and “Be a Coach to Your Child.”

As always, if you ever have any questions, please feel free to contact me at the church office

347-0056 or my cell phone 318-3402. Sowing and Reaping

Gal. 6:7-8: Do not be deceived. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from

that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the

Spirit will reap eternal life (NIV). One way to help our kids learn this biblical truth

is to be consistent in our discipline. When we consistently follow through in giving needed

consequences, children learn that their choices really are important and that they will affect the quality of their lives-in other words, they will have to reap what

they sow. No doubt about it, disciplining our kids takes time

and energy. We may be tempted to forego consequences because it's inconvenient, we're tired, or we dread our child's reaction. It helps to focus on the big picture and the purpose behind our discipline. While it's important to learn that choices affect life

on earth, it's more important for our kids to understand that they will reap what they sow

eternally when making a decision to accept Christ. Teach your kids about sowing and reaping, and help

them sow the ultimate seed. Visit us at parentingbydesign.com for more

resources and updates to help you parent by God's perfect design.

Coming Soon! Sunday Night Live 4:30-6:30 pm

Spring Break—No Sunday Night Live Events 4/7

Fun Time @ Kendallville Manor 4/14

Parable Quest & Cookie

Time 4/21

Minute to Win

It! 4/28

Fun &

Games @ Carri’s 5/5

Patterns in Family Life

A busy father comes home from work hoping to

relax with his wife and enjoy his children. Instead, he walks into a land mine of relational

issues. Children are bickering and Mom is frazzled. Even the dog has retreated to a quieter room in the house. Likewise, a mom comes home

from work wanting to share a couple of interesting stories with her family only to find that, instead, everyone wants a piece of her.

When you hit those challenging moments in

family life, how do you respond? You probably have certain routines you use in conflict

situations or when you're stressed or upset. One mom tells us, "I call it my 'take charge mode.' I

just start taking control of everything, giving orders, solving problems, and managing people. Unfortunately, I don't always do it in a gracious way. I become more interested in reestablishing my authority than in building relationships." A dad admitted, "When things get tense in my

home, I retreat. I know that's not the best but it's the way I've always responded to conflict."

When things get tense in your home, step back for a moment and evaluate the patterns that have developed. One of the ways to change

those patterns is to see the routines that you use when you’re under pressure. It's amazing what

happens when just one person begins to change. A whole family can change a pattern, but it all starts when someone decides to relate a little

differently.

We all know that children function best with

routines in their schedule. They also benefit from learning good relational routines. If you will take the time to teach children how to respond well to instruction or correction and then practice those healthy routines, you will not only make family

life easier but you will teach your children something they will use in relationships for the

rest of their lives.

To learn more about relational routines in parenting, take a look at the book Good and

Angry, Exchanging Frustration for Character In You and Your Kids, by Dr Scott Turansky and

Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.

Be a Coach to Your Children

I'm sure that as you look around you see other families who have rather interesting relationships

with their kids. Some parents seem to have a boss/servant relationship with their children, as if

the parents own their kids. They order them around as if they were slaves, being demanding about obedience and respect. Others act like a policeman allowing children to do anything they want within boundaries. When the children move outside the boundaries then the parent blows the whistle to get them back in line. Other parents

have a little prince relationship with their children. These parents go out of their way to

make their children happy, sometimes trying to make up for their own unhappiness as a child.

A better analogy is the one that views the parent

as a coach. Your children need training every day, involving teaching, correcting, firmness, and

encouragement. A coach builds a relationship with the child, recognizes weaknesses and equips the child to succeed. When a runner falls down, a

good coach doesn't condemn but motivates to excellence through support and encouragement. The coach and the athlete are both on the same

side, working to make that young person successful.

Don't let childish problems like anger,

impulsiveness, or meanness motivate you to become an opponent to your children, allowing

the problem to come between you. Instead, partner with your children, moving the problem

to the side, with you and your child working together to conquer it. Your attitude in conflict

will mean all the difference for a child who needs to be coached out of immaturity. Children need

to know that their parents believe in them. It helps them in the deepest areas of their hearts.

This parenting tip comes from the book Home Improvement, the Parenting Book You Can Read to Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne

Miller, RN, BSN.