Assertiveness in the Workplace February 2011. Welcome and Introduction.

Assertiveness in the Assertiveness in the WorkplaceWorkplaceFebruary 2011February 2011

Welcome and Welcome and Introduction Introduction

Our Days AgendaOur Days Agenda

08h30 – 09h00 Registration and Tea

09h00 – 10h30 Speaker Assertiveness in the

Workplace

10h30 – 10h50 Tea Break

10h50 – 12h30 Assertiveness in the Workplace

Continued

12h30 – 13h15 Lunch


Continued

14h30 – 14h50 Tea Break


Continued

16h00 Close

Topic AgendaTopic Agenda

1.Understanding assertiveness 32.How assertive am I? 43.Applying assertiveness in the workplace 64.Assertiveness and dealing with aggressive

individuals 8

Understanding Understanding AssertivenessAssertiveness

Communication

Communication is the transfer of information, whether aggressively, passively or assertively by

posture, words, facial expressions, tone or gestures, from one source to another, and in such a way that an understanding, whether intended or

not, takes place.


In his studies, Albert Mehrabian, the Professor Emeritus of Psychology at UCLA, identified that

there are essentially 3 elements to communication, words, tone and body language.

WordsWords ToneTone Body LanguageBody Language


In order for effective communication to take place it is important that the three elements are in

congruence with one another. If people hear the words but see that our body language does not

line up with what we are saying, they will be less likely to accept that what are saying is true.

Mehrabian found that when the three elements were incongruent the listener was more likely to

trust the predominate one.

Understanding Understanding Assertiveness Assertiveness

Understanding Understanding Assertiveness Assertiveness

Now that we have identified the three means of communication, let us look at the three broad

categories of communicators

AggressiveAggressive AssertiveAssertive PassivePassive


AGGRESSIVE

Defining points• Standing up for what you believe in• Showing a lack of concern for what others believe in• Showing a lack of concern for the feelings and opinions of others.• Placing your needs and wants ahead of others


AGGRESSIVE

Typical statements of an aggressor“I will only say this once”“If I don’t do it, nobody will”“The only way to get things done properly is for me to do it”“I don’t really care what you think”“No, you will listen to me”


PASSIVE

Defining points• Failing to stand up for what you believe in• Allowing others to disregard what you think or believe• Allowing others to disregard your feelings and opinions• Placing the needs and wants of others ahead of your own


PASSIVE

Typical statements of a passive“No its ok, lets do it your way”“Whatever you think”“I’m not very good at this”“If its going to cause problems, rather let me do it”“I don’t mind”


ASSERTIVE

Defining Points

Honest – Express yourself as you feel without lying to others as this is ultimately lying to yourself

Considerate – Consider the situation you are in, the feelings and attitudes of others and express yourself appropriately within that context

Direct – Be direct in your conversation so as to avoid the pitfalls of misunderstanding. Be clear, concise and deliberate

with each statement


Effective assertive communicators understand….

“A win/win scenario is

always possible regardless of the behaviour style adopted by the other

person.”

“Other people also

have the right to be assertive in

their behaviour

style.”



“Other people are allowed to

passionately believe something that is completely different to what

you believe.”

“You are not in a competition to

change the other persons mind.

They will change their mind only

when they choose to change it.”



“You are not always

right.” “Any relationship

requires commitment from both

parties.”



“Assertiveness in the Workplace is a choice that I choose to make.”

“Proactive communication is always better than reactive communication.”


7 Simple techniques for more effective listening

1. Maintain eye contact2. Respond appropriately with word or nod3. Refrain from interrupting4. Take notes if possible5. Allow the speaker to finish before evaluating the

message6. Clarify main points with questions7. Keep emotions under control


Why ask questions?

• It builds understanding• Promotes a higher level of thinking• A person’s ability to understand & remember material is

enhanced• Questions encourage others to speak• To collect information• Able to find possible solutions• Builds trust


Benefits of open-ended questions:

• Invites opinions, thoughts and feelings• Encourages participation• Establishes rapport• Stimulates discussion• Maintains balance between speakers



individuals 8

What can you do to be more Assertive?

1. Assertiveness is often linked to self image and self belief. Examine yourself first and know what your value system is. In knowing clearly who you are and understanding your rights, you will be able to communicate more directly and with confidence and self control.

How Assertive How Assertive am I? am I?


2. Value the rights of others and be respectful of them. Understand that you may not always be right so open your mind to rational arguments.

3. Ask for help from peers who you know will be honest with you.



4. Identify the body language characteristics that you have that limit your effectiveness. These could take the form of giggling, nodding your head too much, playing with your hands or always averting the gaze of the person you are talking to.

How Assertive How Assertive am I?am I?


5. Identify the tone characteristics you use that limit your effectiveness. A singing voice or a voice with a sarcastic undertone should be replaced by a level, well modulated tone.

6. Learn how to avoid being interrupted while you are talking by using a polite yet firm phrase. An example of this would be, “hang on, I haven’t finished”

How Assertive How Assertive am I?am I?


7. Don’t start interactions with the word sorry. Also avoid apologising for what you are about to say. Both will immediately reduce the assertiveness factor.

8. Improve your listening skills and learn to ask effective open questions which will not only provide you with clearer information but improve your overall confidence with regard to the issue at hand.



9. Don’t be afraid to say no. If necessary give an explanation but don’t apologise through the entire explanation. This will be perceived as passivity and could be used against you to ultimately get you to say yes.

10.Use “I” not “you” statements. People cannot argue with how a situation makes you feel but they will argue with you if you tell them how it makes them feel, even if you are right!



11.Practise with friends and family. Practise in front of the mirror by making assertive statements, maintaining direct eye contact, standing relaxed and upright and be very aware of your tone and body language. Choose less anxious situations at first until you build up your confidence.


Topic Agenda Topic Agenda


individuals 8

Building Trust

1. Be honest2. Be open minded3. Be credible4. Be sincere5. Be timeous with

information6. Be discreet7. Be transparent8. Be open9. Be humble

Applying Applying Assertiveness Assertiveness

in the in the Workplace Workplace

Applying Assertiveness in the Applying Assertiveness in the WorkplaceWorkplace

Employer Employee

Get personally involved Get personally involved

Involve the whole team and listen to others ideas and concerns. Allowing them to participate in the process

will ensure their loyalty and commitment to the process.

Share ideas and concerns remembering to always have an

alternate idea if you believe something wont work. Participate fully and with enthusiasm in the

process

Ask for volunteers to assist with the process, you may be surprised as to who takes up the challenge. Build a

team to assist with the process.

Volunteer to assist with the process and be prepared to work in and work

with a team.

Be clear and honest about what needs to change and exactly how

that process will take place. Plan well and keep all informed as to the

progress.

Listen carefully as to the changes and ask questions to avoid any

confusion.

Be positive and encourage others to improve. Be direct and clear as to why change is needed and exactly

what that change will be.

Be positive and supportive to those in charge and be an agent for

change.

Keep people informed with regular meetings. If you see that negativity

is creeping in address it immediately by giving them a progress report.

Attend all meetings and be positive. Take notes and address your peers when they speak negatively about

the changes.

Change Managemen

t

Dealing with Different Cultures

In order to effectively communicate with another culture it is helpful

if you understand their approach to:

Authority – what is their approach to dealing with authority. Is it very hierarchical or very informal.

Gender – how do they respond to members of the opposite gender in work relationships.


in the in the WorkplaceWorkplace

Time – are they time conscious or is the quality of the task more important.

Detail – is great attention to detail important to them or are they more comfortable working in a creative environment.

Individualism – do they believe in individualism or are the more collective in their approach to work.

Age – how do they treat elders and how would they respond to instruction from a younger

person.


in the in the WorkplaceWorkplace



individuals 8

Dealing with aggressive individuals or bullies in the workplace can

be a very intimidating. The reality is that that is exactly what an

aggressor or bully wants you to feel. If you are intimidated and

respond passively you reinforce the behaviour because as the bully

gets their own way their behaviour is being rewarded which leads

to it persisting.

Assertiveness and Assertiveness and Dealing with Dealing with

Aggressive Aggressive IndividualsIndividuals

1. Be prepared2. Don’t be dominated3. Don’t get offended – manage your emotions4. Ask clarifying questions5. Listen carefully6. Explain your action plan clearly

Assertiveness and Assertiveness and Dealing with Dealing with

Aggressive Aggressive IndividualsIndividuals

Skills Practice

Skills Practice

Thank you …. Thank you ….

Thank YouFasset Call Centre

086 101 0001www.fasset.org.za

Assertiveness in the Workplace February 2011. Welcome and Introduction.

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Transcript of Assertiveness in the Workplace February 2011. Welcome and Introduction.