Ask the Expert · 2020-07-23 · choices and control when possible. General strategies to reduce...
Transcript of Ask the Expert · 2020-07-23 · choices and control when possible. General strategies to reduce...
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Ask the Expert
Teens & Adults: Understanding Strategies to Reduce Conflict
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Ask the Expert
Teens & Adults: Understanding Strategies to Reduce Conflict
chadd.org/nrc
866-200-8098
Rosanna Breaux, PhD, LCP
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Teens and parents: Understanding strategies to
reduce conflict
Rosanna Breaux, PhD, LCP
Assistant Professor of Psychology
Assistant Director, Child Study Center
Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University
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Why conflict increases during adolescence
• Separation - pulling away from parents and family to create an independent social group, typically consisting solely of friends
oConflict Results From – reduced involvement in the family, increased (sometimes risky) peer activities, disagreement on how much personal info parents should have
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Why conflict increases during adolescence
• Differentiation – experiment with different interests and images to determine the type of person they want to be
oConflict Results From – identities that do not align with who the parent wants their teen to become
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Why conflict increases during adolescence
• Opposition – challenging parent authority to become more self-determined
oConflict Results From – teens do not follow or take too long to follow parent requests and rules
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Why conflict is especially high in families of teens with ADHD
• Difficulties with Executive Functions
o Difficulties paying attention
o Trouble organizing, planning, and prioritizing
o Difficulty starting tasks
o Problems managing time
o Poor self-monitoring abilities
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Why conflict is especially high in families of teens with ADHD
• Difficulties with Emotion Regulation
o Low frustration tolerance
o Impatient
oQuick to anger
oMore impulsive reactions
oMore extreme reactions
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Why conflict is especially high in families of teens with ADHD
• Motivational Deficits
o Experiences with negative feedback from peers, teachers, and parents
oAversion to boring or difficult tasks
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Why conflict is especially high in families of teens with ADHD
• Increased Risky Behaviors
oAlcohol Use
o Substance Use
oRisky Sex
oPoor Decision Making
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Strategies to Reduce Conflict
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General strategies to reduce conflict with teens
• Acknowledge and appreciate steps in the right direction, not just the final outcomes
o Focus on and compliment effort
oProvide 3 positives for every 1 negative
• Pick your battles – Ignore the small stuff!
• Provide opportunities for your teen to have choices and control when possible
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General strategies to reduce conflict with teens
• Be firm and calm – volume does not increase your teen’s likelihood of listening
• Avoid being “unfair”
oProvide consistent expectations
oConsequences should fit the (mis)behavior
oOnce a privilege has been earned it can’t be taken away
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Avoid Power Struggles During Conflict
• Conflict arises from two different sets of thoughts and emotions about the same issue
• Try to understand your teen’s emotions and thoughts
• Work on problem solving and compromising to address the situation
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Avoid Power Struggles During Conflict
• Before trying to address and problem-solve a conflict, calm down using a coping skill
• Let your teen explain their perspectives
o Encourage assertive but not aggressive communication
• Explain your perspective calmly
o It’s okay to admit if you made a mistake or overreacted
• Collaboratively identify possible solutions to address the conflict
oChoose one that both parties can agree on and try it out
o Evaluate what worked and what should be modified to prevent future conflict
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Want to learn more? Check out these resources!
• Da Camara, G. (2020). What Lies Beneath Matters: A workbook for Tweens and Teens with ADHD: Achievers World.
• Honos-Webb, L. (2010). The ADHD Workbook for Teens: Activities to Help You Gain Motivation and Confidence: Instant Help Books, A Division of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
• Price, A. (2017). He's Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe in Himself: Sterling Publishing Co, Inc.
• RELAX Intervention Handouts - https://www.calmerlab.com/the-relax-intervention
• Van Dijk, S. (2011). Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life for Teens: Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills for Helping You Manage Mood Swings, Control Angry Outbursts, and Get Along with Others: Instant Help Books, A Division of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
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Teens & Adults: Understanding Strategies to Reduce Conflict
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Teens & Adults: Understanding Strategies to Reduce Conflict