Arlington, Fairfax, Leesburg, Prince William, Reston ... Sep 2010.pdf · Arlington, Fairfax,...
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The Compassionate Friends
Northern Virginia and DC Chapters
Arlington, Fairfax, Leesburg, Prince William,
Reston, Virginia and Washington, DC
VOLUME 19, NO. 8 SEPTEMBER 2010
Calendar and Contacts 2
Arlington Chapter 3
Fairfax Chapter 4
Leesburg Chapter 5
Prince William Chapter 6
TCF Reston 7
Washington DC Chapter 8
Our Children remembered 9
Inside this issue:
The mission of The Compassionate Friends is to assist families in the positive resolution of grief following the death of a child and to provide information to help others be supportive.
Honor Your Child, Sibling, or Grandchild! By Kathy Collins, TCF Regional Coordinator
For over a decade, TCF members in northern Virginia and the District of Columbia have had the benefit of a combined newsletter that provides great comfort and hope. Each month grieving parents, siblings, and grandparents share their anguish, experiences, and healing progress with others who truly understand their pain. The newsletter also ensures each family’s children, siblings and grandchildren are remembered during their birth and death anniversary months.
The newsletter is made possible through the efforts of dedicated volunteers who pay tribute to their loved ones by working on the newsletter. Each month, our local editors prepare a newsletter page about the members and activities in their respective groups. They submit this page to another wonderful volunteer, Kate Morton Orf, our overall editor, who honors the memory of her brother Christopher by organizing and merging each of the pages into a single newsletter. Allen Lawrence dedicates his work as our database administrator in memory of his son Barry. In this role, Allen maintains a database of all of our families and submits a listing of our children, siblings, and grandchildren to be remembered during their birth and death months.
After years of service, Kate and Allen are stepping down from their respective roles. Their departure provides an opportunity for another bereaved parent, sibling, or grandparent to step up and do something meaningful to honor their loved ones. We are in need of two caring people willing to volunteer as our NOVA TCF newsletter editor or database administrator. Kate and Allen are willing to assist during the transition period. If you would like to honor your child, sibling or grandchild in a special way that brings comfort and hope to so many other families, please contact Kathy Collins at [email protected] or 703-425-9504.
TCF Conference July 2-4, 2010 As The Compassionate Friends conference drew to a close, I was sad to see my new friends leave. We had to all go back to the lives that we had put on hold to remember our loved ones.
My one and only brother, Frank, died suddenly in 2003 of a penicillin reaction at age 52. I didn’t realize that my life would change in the way that it did.
Someone asked me if I talked to anyone when he passed and that was a great question. One that I didn’t have an answer for. As I looked back on that period of time, the answer was no. Who cared really? Who could relate to what I was feeling? In the environment I was raised in, I believed that my feelings didn’t matter and that was how I operated. Through Compassionate Friends, I realized that my feelings mattered a great deal and that there were other siblings that could relate to them.
The conference in July was my first one and it was all that I had hoped it would be. I met new friends and I heard tremendous, heart breaking stories, but many more stories of triumph and perseverance. I realized that there’s a world of hurting siblings and that I am not at all alone. Our stories brought tears, laughter, and in many ways emotional relief. I saw myself in the newly bereaved siblings and I wanted to reach out to every single one of them to let them know that even though they couldn’t see it now, they would eventually come out of the ‘fog’.
I thoroughly enjoyed the many workshops that were geared towards adult siblings. Many of us had discussions and situations that were much different than a child would have had. Some had to take the responsibility of stepping in for their parents who were just too distraught to make it through planning the funeral services.
As I spent the week grieving Frank who is no longer here in body, I remembered the many laughs that we shared and I celebrated his spirit.
Brenda Ford Written in loving memory of Frank Edward Franklin
September 2010 Meetings
September 1 (first Wednesdays) 7:30 PM Fairfax Chapter 7:30 PM Leesburg Chapter
September 9 (second Thursdays) 7:30 PM Arlington Chapter
September 11 (second Saturdays) Annual Picnic in lieu of regular meeting See p. 7 for details
September 15 (third Wednesdays) 7-9 PM Washington DC Chapter
September 16 (third Thursdays) 7:30 PM Prince William Chapter
VOLUME 19, NO. 8 PAGE 2
Arlington Chapter Contact: Lois Copeland (301) 530-1115 [email protected]
Trinity Presbyterian Church 5533 N.16th St Arlington, VA
Fairfax Chapter Contact: Carol Marino [email protected] or Jane Trimble [email protected] Chapter Phone: (703) 622-3639
OLD ST.MARY’S HALL, next to St. Mary’s Historic Church and Cemetery Fairfax Station Rd and Route 123 Fairfax, VA 22030 First Wednesdays 7:30 PM
Leesburg Chapter Contact: Bev or Bernie Elero (540) 882-9707
St. James Episcopal Church Janney Parlor 14 Cornwall St NW Leesburg, VA First Wednesdays 7:30 PM
Prince William Chapter Contact: Ken Adams (703) 361-6574 [email protected]
Grace United Methodist Church Library, 2nd Floor 9750 Wellington Rd Manassas, VA Third Thursdays 7:30 PM
TCF Reston (for no surviving children) Contact: Harriett Evenson (VA) (703) 525-9311 Sharon Skarzynski (MD) (410) 757-5049
North County Gov Bld. Reston Police Station Bld. 12000 Bowman Towne Drive Reston, VA
Second Saturdays 2-4 PM (for no surviving children)
Washington, DC Chapter Contact: Olivia Gunter (301) 552-2798
The Howard University The Blackburn Center 2397 Sixth Street, NW Washington, DC 20059
Third Wednesdays 7-9 PM
Please send “Love Gifts” to: Kent Womack 1013 Riverside Dr.
Please send “Love Gifts” to: John Trimble 5209 Wenlock Way Burke,VA 22015
Please send “Love Gifts” to: Mrs.Anne Shattuck 224 Walnut Ridge Ln. Palmyra, VA 22963
Please send “Love Gifts” to: Peggy Beach 10404 Schaeffer Lane Nokesville, VA 20181
Please send “Love Gifts” to: Coralease Ruff 3314 Applegrove Ct. Oak Hill, VA 20171
THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS • NORTHERN VIRGINIA AND DC
Newsletter Team
Editor Kate Morton Orf [email protected]
Database Manager Allen Lawrence [email protected]
Treasurer Kent Womack 1013 Riverside Drive Woodstock, VA 22664 [email protected]
Reporters Arlington Lois Copeland, [email protected]
Fairfax Steve Marshall, [email protected]
District of Columbia Michelle Lake, [email protected]
Leesburg Bridget Elero, [email protected]
Prince William Jennifer Clark, [email protected]
Reston Kathy Grapski, [email protected]
Regional Coordinator Kathy Collins [email protected] 4505 Rachael Manor Drive Fairfax, VA 22032
TCF National Headquarters PO Box 3696 Oak Brook IL 60522-3696 http://www.compassionatefriends.org (877) 969-0010 (Toll-Free)
Arlington Website http://www.tcfarlington.org Webmaster: Mary M.Bell [email protected]
Fairfax Website www.tcffairfax.org
Leesburg Website http://www.tcfleesburg.org [email protected]
Prince William Website http://www.tcfprincewilliam.org [email protected]
PAGE 3 THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS • NORTHERN VIRGINIA AND DC VOLUME 19, NO. 8
Date: Thursday September 9, 2010 TCF Meeting: Place: Trinity Presbyterian Church Time: 7:30 p.m. Topic: Up Coming Seasons
************************************************* Chapter Information
Steering Committee Meeting: October 14. Potluck Dinner. All members welcome. This is your chapter, we would love your input.
Information/Resources TCF www.thecompassionatefriends.org support for bereaved families following the death of a child, resources, on-line support and E-Newsletter Survivors of Suicide www.survivorsofsuicide.com Parents of Murdered Children, [email protected]
1-888-818-7662 Haven of Northern Virginia, havenofnova.org 703-944-7000 SHARE (Pregnancy& Infant Loss Support, Inc.) 800-821-/6819, www.nationalshareoffice.com BP/USA (Bereaved Parents of the USA) www.bereavedparentsusa.org helps parents and families who have lost children.
********************************************* THE CONFERENCE
I have been to seven National Conferences and after each one I come home feeling emotionally and physically exhausted, but also feeling exhilarated. I spent four days with bereaved families and also had a chance to share David, as bereaved families shared their child. Coming home from the conference and getting back to daily life is a difficult transition. Mitch Carmody said it beautifully in an e-mail to Katy Womack, my co-chair.
Degriefing
I am continually amazed at the choreography of the dance that I experience at a TCF National Conference and the hugh impact it has on my body, mind and spirit when I walk off the dance floor and return home. from spending 4 or 5 days on “planet grief” we return home to the mundane realities of the real world and try to blend in with its preoccupied inhabitants who for the most part know nothing of our secret planet. they don’t wear buttons of a dead child pinned to their clothing; they don’t wear name tags around their neck identifying their loss, and for the most part we don’t wear butterfly clothing or TCF T-shirts with a broken heart. When I return to work I get surprised looks from people who are caught off guard when I hug them good morning without thinking. I feel a deep separation anxiety for my fellow travelers to planet grief with its honest hugs, cathartic kisses, and deep seated dialogues. The heart I wore on my sleeve now feels vulnerable and exposed to the harsh elements of the daily routine and the machine of the workaday world. I am longing for my friends, my family of wounded survivors who succor my soul and I theirs in our dance of recovery. In a word I feel “drifty” and lost for a few days; like getting your land legs back slowly after a week at sea I feel the impact of its loss for another year.
(continued in next column)
Attending the first meeting in July: Ed Chaney & Mandy Hitchock, who lost their daughter, Hudson, in May.
Attending the first meeting in August: Sean Hubbard, lost his brother Taylor, in May
We are sorry for the cause that brought you to us. We can’t take away your pain, but hope we may ease your journey through grief.
************************************* Today I am decompressing, degriefing so to speak, remembering and cherishing the magic moments of the weekend and thanking God for the privilege to be there and serve the bereaved with every quark of my being. I help facilitate healing in the most sacred of places, the human heart and soul and always humbled and healed myself by the experience. We all come to planet grief from many different worlds. Worlds of all kinds; a plethora of differences in race age, religion, occupation, economic class, intellect and political views, yet we congregate as one family and find a common ground in compassion; finding common ground in love. It is in helping to heal that we are healed ourselves, like one beggar sharing his bread with another beggar both are sustained for another day. On the walk on Sunday it was revealed to us that TCF had to register our Sunday TCF walk as a protest if we were to walk the streets of Washington DC. And you know that’s alright, we are protestors. We have our signs, our banners, our bibs, our T-shirts, our name tags and buttons. We are The Compassionate Friends, we need not walk alone and we don’t--we walk in unison. We all arrived from a network of paths and losses as varied as the stars and together on common ground we protest to the world society’s ignorance of our forever journey and the injustice to our hearts. We are changing the world views of grief and loss. We are educating the fortunate others of our journey and how we survive. We are intentional survivors who are working on our grief proactively, living our loss, not letting go, not get over, not becoming bitter, but becoming better. We are The Compassionate Friends. God bless you all and until we meet again when like “Brigadoon” and dear planet grief appears for a few days in the summer and for a short time we find the camaraderie of hope to sustain us for another year.
Peace, love and light, Mitch Carmody
Mitch Carmody has been a keynote speaker at TCF conferences, a highly regarded workshop presenter and author. His book, Letters To My Son: A Journey Through Grief, has been sold worldwide.
Love Gifts We are deeply grateful for the loving remembrance gifts
received from:
*Sandra Ward, in loving memory of her son, Jesse Lee, IV *Franklin & Marchelle Wood, in loving memory of their
daughter, Dana Denise Wood *Anita & Fred Scott, in loving memory of their son,
Craig Michael Scott *Dennis & Kathleen Szymanski, in loving memory of their
daughter, Jessica B. Szymanski
PAGE 4 THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS • NORTHERN VIRGINIA AND DC VOLUME 19, NO. 8
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Welcome to our new members We welcome our new families with open
arms: STEVE & CECILIA FREEMAN
of Springfield, Va., parents of Nicholas Freeman DOLLY PETERSON
of Burke, Va., mother of Elizabeth Peterson TERRY GASCOIGNE
of Oakton, Va., mother of Christopher Gascoigne KATHY & ROGER NOBLE
of Reston, Va., parents of George Noble SEAN KELLY
Father of Bryan Kelly JEREMY LOPYNSKI
of Clifton, Va., mother of Ryan Lopynski
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
TCF Fairfax Supports National Conference More than 30 members of the TCF Fairfax Chapter attended the TCF National Conference in July, held in Arlington. The TCF Fairfax Chapter also sponsored the Opening Ceremonies of the conference and supplied pens for all the attendee bags. SAVE THE DATE: July 15-17, 2011, for the 34th TCF National Conference in Minneapolis/St. Paul. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
After Glow By Helen Lowrie Marshall
I’d like the memory of me to be a happy one.
I’d like to leave an after glow of smiles when life is done,
I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways,
Of happy times and laughing times and bright and
summer days. I’d like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun,
Of happy memories that I leave When life is done.
Submitted by Nancy and Bob Barbour in memory of their son, Jacob Barbour
The Walk to Remember attracted parents from across the nation as the TCF National Conference drew to a close in July. Pictured are Steve Marshall, Fairfax chapter; Donna Hastings of Yantis, Texas, and Cindy Gardner of Palm Beach Gardens, Fla. The three met at the special-needs children workshop facilitated by Donna.
Worldwide Candle Lighting Held annually the second Sunday in December, this year December 12, 2010, The Compassionate Friends World-wide Candle Lighting unites family and friends around the globe in lighting candles for one hour to honor and remember children who have died at any age from any cause. As candles are lit at 7 p.m. local time, creating a virtual wave of light, hun-dreds of thousands of persons commemorate and honor the memory of children in a way that transcends all ethnic, cultural, religious, and political boundaries.
PAGE 5 THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS • NORTHERN VIRGINIA AND DC VOLUME 19, NO. 8
~~Remembering September 11~~ WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES On Monday we emailed jokes. On Tuesday we did not. On Monday we thought that we were secure. On Tuesday we learned better. On Monday we were talking about heroes as being athletes. On Tuesday we relearned who our heroes are. On Monday we were irritated that our rebate checks had not arrived. On Tuesday we gave money away to people we had never met. On Monday there were people fighting against praying in schools. On Tuesday you would have been hard pressed to find a school where someone was not praying. On Monday people argued with their kids about picking up their room. On Tuesday the same people could not get home fast enough to hug their kids. On Monday people were upset that they had to wait 6 minutes in a fast food drive through line. On Tuesday people didn't care about waiting up to 6 hours to give blood for the dying. On Monday we waved our flags signifying our cultural diversity. On Tuesday we waved only the American flag. On Monday there were people trying to separate each other by race, sex, color and creed. On Tuesday they were all holding hands. On Monday we were men or women, black or white, old or young, rich or poor, gay or straight, Christian or non-Christian. On Tuesday we were Americans. On Monday politicians argued about budget surpluses. On Tuesday grief stricken they sang 'God Bless America'. On Monday the President was going to Florida to read to children. On Tuesday he returned to Washington to protect our children. On Monday we had families. On Tuesday we had orphans. On Monday people went to work as usual. On Tuesday they died. On Monday people were fighting the 10 commandments on government property. On Tuesday the same people all said 'God help us all' while thinking 'Thou shall not kill'. It is sadly ironic how it takes horrific events to place things into perspective, but it has. The lessons learned this week, the things we have taken for granted, the things that have been forgotten or overlooked, hopefully will never be forgotten again."
God Bless America!
Rich Owen, Atlanta TCF Online
September 2010 Leesburg Chapter
A Special Thank You for your Love gift! Ted and Karen Nichols, in loving memory of their daughter, Alison.
A Warm Welcome Robert & Heidi Kohute, Parents of Mila August Stacie Kling, Mother of Timmy Katie Alepa, Mother of Hailey
I Let Go, I Cling to God
I let go of my son on earth; I cling to God.
I let go of the hopes and dreams I had for him; I cling to God.
I let go of him graduating from college and working as a sports agent; I cling to God.
I let go of dreams of his future wedding, his wife, my daughter-in-law; I cling to God.
I let go of dreams of his future children, my grandchildren; I cling to God.
I let go of spending time with him… ordinary days, holidays, his birthday; I cling to God.
I let go of cooking his favorite meals and watching him enjoy them…especially baked ziti and yellow cake with chocolate icing; I cling to God.
I let go of looking at his handsome face and gazing into his twinkling, sparkling brown eyes; I cling to God.
I let go of hearing his low voice and his infectious laughter; I cling to God.
I let go of feeling his hugs…with pats on the back; I cling to God.
I let go of seeing him whole and healed from depression but know that now he is perfect in heaven; I cling to God.
I let go of my precious son on earth; I cling to God.
I will never let go of my love for my son.
I do not let go of my hopes and dreams for heaven and being reunited with my son forever; I cling ever so tightly to God.
Beverly Elero, Leesburg, VA TCF
PAGE 6 THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS • NORTHERN VIRGINIA AND DC VOLUME 19, NO. 8
Dear Child of Mine
Dear Child of Mine, who died before your time, I am grateful for your life. Though death brought the end of hopes and dreams, still I am grateful for your life. Through you I have known joy and sorrow, laughter
and tears. Through you my life has been enriched, my compassion heightened, and I am more keenly aware of the grief of others. I am grateful for your life. Now I draw upon my memories of you, some happy, some
sad. They keep you close in many ways. They are priceless, precious memories that help me bear the pain. Through them I will learn to live again. I am
grateful for your life. I have been blessed with your life and left with your love. I will share that love and strive to live to be a blessing to others. Dear Child of
Mine, though you died before your time, you are never far away from me. I have loved you in my heart of hearts and there I will love you through eternity. I
am grateful for your life; Dear Child of Mine.
Betty Stevens TCF ~ Baltimore, MD
To Honor You
To honor you, I get up everyday and take a breath and start another day without you
in it. To honor you, I laugh and love with those who knew your smile and the way your eyes twinkled with mischief and secret
knowledge.
To honor you, I listen to music you would have liked, and sing at the top of my
lungs, with the windows rolled down.
To honor you, I take chances, say what I feel, hold nothing back, risk making a fool
of myself, dance every dance.
You were my light, my heart, my gift of love from the very highest source. So everyday, I vow to make a difference,
share a smile, live, laugh and love.
Now I live for us both, so all I do to honor you.
~ TCF Atlanta online sharing
Please Ask Someone asked me about you today. It.s been so long since
anyone has done that. It felt so good to talk about you.to share my memories of you.to simply
say your name out loud.
She asked me if I minded talking about what happened to you or
would it be too painful to speak of it? I told her I think of it everyday and speaking about it helps me to
release the tormented thoughts whirling around in my head.
She said she never realized that my pain would last this long. She
apologized for not asking sooner. I told her, .Thanks for asking..
I don’t know if it was curiosity or concern that made her ask, but I told
her, .Please do it again sometime soon..
Barbara Hudson Cincinnati, OH
Newly Bereaved… Thoughts for you when you get depressed:
Don’t ever try to understand everything—some things will just never make sense.
Don’t ever be reluctant to show your feelings—when you’re happy, give in to it.
Don’t ever be afraid to try to make things better—you might be surprised at the results.
There is always somebody there for you to reach out to.
Don’t ever forget that you can achieve so many of the things you can imagine, imagine that!
Don’t ever stop loving.
Don’t ever stop believing.
Don’t ever stop dreaming your dreams.
TCF, Orange Coast, CA
P R I N C E W I L L I A M C H A P T E R
PAGE 7 THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS • NORTHERN VIRGINIA AND DC VOLUME 19, NO. 8
We will be holding our annual picnic on Saturday, September 11th at Lake Fairfax Park. Please hold the date and keep an eye on your email for further information.
Following is a tribute to Julia Kenney Teresa Petrino August 8 – June 9. Mary and I had visits before and after Julia's anniversary date from her friends who met her when they all went to MacArthur Elementary School in Alexandria. A couple of them who went on to George Washington Middle School with her contributed to writing this on June 10, 1999, the day after she died. Contributed by Jeff Petrino, Julia’s Dad. Dear Julia, You who can make a masterpiece out of colored pencils, You who responded, "Why I oughta . . . ." to any bully on the bus, You who could make words flow off the page, You who made the covers of MacArthur books so beautiful, You who worked in silence, but your excellence was always known, You who could always groove with the Beatles in "The Yellow Submarine," You who picked out pretty hats and always wore them with a smile, You were too wise to frown. You who never tried to burden others with your pain, You fought with all your might when it would have been easy to give up. Love, From All of Us at George Washington Middle School, June 10, 1999
The Angel of Hope is a national monument dedicated to children who have passed at any age for any reason. There are approximately 100 angels of Hope statues across the US, and one is soon to be located inEldersburg, Carroll County, MD. The J.O.S.H. (Joining Others Seeking Healing) foundation is the driving force behind the first Angel of Hope statue and memorial garden to be erected in the state of MD. The JOSH Foundation is a non-profit organization dedicated to creating remembrance initiatives to help bring grieving parents, families, and individuals comfort and support. If you’re interested in this initiative or would like to have your child(ren) honored or remembered through this project, call 410—549-0866 or send an email to [email protected]
If life were different on September 17, 2010 our sweet Lauryn Beth (Grapski ) would turn 30 years old and probably have a party. If life were different she might be married and even have a little one herself. If life were different Lauryn would have reached her goal of becoming a 3rd grade teacher and I would be volunteering in her classroom instead of the classroom of Lauryn’s mentor. Actually life is different, way different than we expected it to be at this stage in our lives. It is not the way we want it to be and although Lauryn is not physically here with us we are still going to celebrate her life and remember her on this 30th birthday by inviting family and friends to a party to commemorate what she meant to all of us. Her spirit will be there no doubt…she loved birthday parties. Happy 30th Lauryn. Love Mom & Dad
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________ Reston, VA Compassionate Friends is a group of parents who are now childless. We meet at the No. County Government Center, Reston Police Station Bldg., 12000 Bowman Towne Drive, Reston from 2:00 – 4:00 PM on the 2nd Saturday of each month. Virginia residents call Harriett Evenson at 703-525-9311; Maryland residents call Sharon Skarzynski at 410-757-5049 or [email protected] Contact Kathy Grapski @ [email protected] or 301-253-5509 if you would like to put a poem or article on this page. Deadline is the 2nd of each month.
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”
Winnie the Pooh quotes ~ something our children might tell us.
PAGE 8 THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS • NORTHERN VIRGINIA AND DC VOLUME 19, NO. 8
A Healing Trip
On September the 9th of 2007 I lost my only son Matthew in a motorcycle accident. I don’t have to tell you how I felt or what I’ve been going through you at the Compassionate Friends already know. One of the things I have struggled with has been the question “Why?” and the answer has been so illusive that I have decided to answer it myself. I have decided to bring some meaning and purpose to this loss as many of you have already done such as Coralese Ruff who designed a course to teach to medical professionals on grief and loss. In my search for growth and healing from this terrible experience I spent two months volunteering in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Specifically I volunteered to teach doctors and medical students at HEALAfrica, an amazing hospital in Goma, DRC. This experience and others I had during my stay was very healing. When I returned I learned of a documentary called “Motherland” by J Steinman. This documentary followed the journey of 6 grieving women who journeyed to Johannesburg, South Africa as volunteers. Five of the women were bereaved mothers, one a bereaved sister. Their trip was a little like a traveling TCF meeting. They lived together and shared their stories and also shared the tragic stories of the many AIDS victims and orphans where they went. It was a healing experience and from this documentary an organization called Corstone began organizing trips to developing countries for grieving parents. So I contacted the organizers of Corstone and told them of my experience and my continued contacts with NGOs in the Congo. They were very interested. They said the way these trips gain momentum is through the parents who become interested in them and so I am writing this article to interest you in getting involved in such a trip.
First of all eastern Congo is an amazingly beautiful place situated on the shores of a pristine great lake Kivu at the base of an active volcano Nirungungo. One of the greatest natural preserves in all of Africa Viryunga National Forrest is there with lush forests and absolutely gorgeous volcanic mountain ranges. The Mountain Gorillas live in these forests and while I was there I had the opportunity to visit a family in BK park, a once in a lifetime experience that I will treasure forever. Among all this beauty and nature reside the war torn people of the DRC. In our country the child mortality rate for children under the age of 5 is 3-4 per 1000, in sub-Saharan Africa the mortality rate is 125 per 1000. The situation is complicated by the history of the region the Rwandan genocide in 1994, and the corruption of the country. And yet while I was there I met many people who still had hope. I gave as much as I could and tried to leave some sustainable changes behind but I
must truly admit that in the balance it was I who received the most.
The trip is tentatively planned for the summer of 2011 because this is a break time and I think this trip would be an excellent trip for bereaved siblings as well as parents. It will not be a trip for the faint of heart and will require some reading by participants to understand the cultural and political situation of the area. That said the places we will stay are very nice and safe and the people are warm. The trip will be project based with many of those projects involving helping the young. It will also be a cultural exchange and there will be time for reflection and sharing. The cost will be about $3000 to 4000 plus donations of items we will need to bring. By partnering with Corstone the expenses will be tax deductible so friends and family will be able to lend support to you and you’ll get a tax deduction. Because it will take a day to travel each way the time off will be two weeks. If you are interested in participating or know someone who is please e-mail me at [email protected].
Love, Hope and Grace to you, Julia LaJoie, MD
Mungowego whose name means “God among us” was the victim of rebels who attacked her family killing her brothers and slashing her and her little sister with machetes. Her fa-ther carried her for 4 days through the mountains to reach HEAL Africa. She suffered a head injury which gave her a left sided stroke and nerve damage to her arm. Through the ef-forts of HEAL Africa Hospital and IPOProject she is recovering.
PAGE 9 THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS • NORTHERN VIRGINIA AND DC VOLUME 19, NO. 8
Chris Sudi Akunda Sep 08 Jun 08 Jackie Akunda
Fairfax
Jacob Barbour Sep 21 Feb 14
Nancy and Bob Barbour Fairfax
Kenneth Barnes Jr.
Jan 19 Sep 24 Kenneth Barnes
DC
Brittany Binsted Sep 28 May 12
Carol and Ron Binsted Fairfax
Matthew William Bowes
Jan 02 Sep 09 Julia LaJoie
Leesburg
Adrian Gerald Buchanan Sep 25 Apr 01
Pamolyn and Curtis Buchanan DC
Rik Budd
Sep 30 Mar 30 Marge and Mark Budd
Fairfax
David H. Byrd III Sep 13 Aug 19
Beverly Ann & Herbert Byrd Prince William
Kevin Whitfield Card Dec 29 Sep 28
Elva Card Arlington
(Elizabeth Marie) Lisa
Champlin Oct 16 Sep 02
Linda and Glen Nielsen Reston
Pamela Sue Chaiken
Jan 17 Sep 29 Sandy and Lionel Chaiken
Arlington
David Arthur Chu Sep 11 Sep 03
Jane and Irwin Chu Arlington
Kimberly Darlene Clark
Sep 21 Jun 22 Mark and Jennifer Clark
Prince William
Christopher Michael Cleveland
Sep 15 Jun 24 Susan and Roy Cleveland
Leesburg
Jason Clover Jul 30 Sep 28 Cheryl Clover
Fairfax
Matthew Coffelt Sep 11 Jul 07 Debbie Coffelt
Leesburg
Elizabeth Rose Coggins Nov 30 Sep 21
Ernie and Diane Coggins Arlington
Benjamin Cooke
Sep 06 Apr 10 Valerie Fortney
Fairfax
XB Cox IV Nov 24 Sep 22
Kelly and XB Cox Fairfax
Richard Davis Sep 26 Mar 05 Susan Davis
Fairfax
Buffy Durand Nov 08 Sep 10 Dottie Lambert Prince William
Sarah Louise Farrel
Sep 27 Nov 23 Betty Farrel
Arlington
Mark Robert Fracasso Jr. Sep 24 Jul 27
Michele and Mark Fracasso Fairfax
Erin Renee Gaston
Sep 27 Oct 31 Joan and Vince Shiban
Prince William
PAGE 10 VOLUME 19, NO. 8 THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS • NORTHERN VIRGINIA AND DC
Francis Leo Bofua Geh Jun 02 Sep 28
Annunciatta and George Geh Fairfax
Leslie E. Gooding III
Oct 04 Sep 25 Leslie Gooding & Olive Davies
Prince William
Lauryn Elizabeth Grapski Sep 17 Nov 17
Kathy and Ed Grapski Reston
Carl Grossman Sep 07 Aug 22
Shirley Grossman Arlington
Ryan Hanover Jun 16 Sep 03
Anne and Paul Hanover Leesburg
Kayla Harris Aug 30 Sep 08
David and Candy Harris Prince William
Elijha Harper Sep 29 Sep 29
Andretta McCray Leesburg
Adam Heitz
Jun 24 Sep 25 Lewis and Paulette Heitz
Leesburg
Adam Lewis Heitz Jun 24 Sep 25
Theresa and Glenn Heitz Leesburg
Matthew Joseph Hofman Sep 19 Jan 21
Mary Jane Hofman Prince William
Monica Yvonne Holeman Jan 07 Sep 20
Sharon Holeman DC
Kate Homan Apr 19 Sep 03 David Talmage
Arlington
James Fontaine Horton Aug 02 Sep 10
Beverly and Wright Horton Leesburg
Alexander Britton "Sandy"
Hume Sep 02 Feb 23
Clare Stoner Hume Arlington
Kathleen Johnson
Sep 10 Nov 10 Jean Driscoll
Arlington
Angela Fay (Wojtowicz) Jewell Sep 18 Nov 22
John Wojtowicz Ed and Fay Wojtowicz
Arlington
Andrew G. Joe Sep 04 Dec 19 Barbara Joe
DC
Eric Johnson Feb 27 Sep 16
Janet Celly Fairfax
Catherine Johnson Sep 01 May 01
Ruby Lewis Arlington
John Henry Johnson III
Sep 24 Feb 10 Neire & John Johnson
Fairfax
Adam Steven Katz Feb 26 Sep 10
Linda and Howard Katz Leesburg
Jessica Fabian Krammes
Dec 16 Sep 14 Mary Ann and Richard Krammes
Fairfax
David Lebowitz May 05 Sep 17
Steve and Karen Lebowitz Arlington
Mia Symme Lockley
Aug 16 Sep 20 Michelle Lockley
DC
Timothy Lee Long Sep 21 May 07
Lee and Sandra Long Leesburg
Laura Lynam
Sep 24 Oct 17 Terry and Melinda Lynam
Arlington
Kevin Joseph Mackey Dec 23 Sep 08 John Mackey Linea Mackey
Arlington
Kevin Mannion Aug 09 Sep 17
Bob and Sally Mannion Fairfax
PAGE 11 THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS • NORTHERN VIRGINIA AND DC VOLUME 19, NO. 8
Dominic Anthony Mason Feb 28 Sep 22
Debby and Jim Pugliese Prince William
David Alvin Maxfield
Sep 01 Feb 26 Al and Joyce Maxfield
Prince William
Pamela Maxfield Sep 10 Sep 16
Al and Joyce Maxfield Prince William
Carolyn Nelson Jan 09 Sep 18
Alicia P. Nelson DC
Sean Stephen Noble
Apr 24 Sep 30 Mary Anne Noble
Fairfax
Benjamin Robert "Ben" Parker
Sep 23 Jan 25 Maurice and Constance
Parker Arlington
DeVaughn Phillips
Sep 10 Apr 03 Barbara Phillips
DC
Chris Porter May 02 Sep 16
Russ and Nancy Porter Prince William
Andrea Dawn Reece
Sep 14 Nov 24 Stephen and Diane Reece
Arlington
Richard Salvatore Roberto Dec 30 Sep 25
Bonnie and Rich Roberto Leesburg
Mary Ellene Robertson Oct 15 Sep 16
Sandra and Alfred Robertson Fairfax
Elizabeth Rowland
Feb 16 Sep 28 Deborah Rowland
Fairfax
Craig Michael Scott Sep 20 Oct 11
Frederick and Anita Scott Arlington
Tyler Smith
Sep 20 Aug 01 Jennifer and John Smith
Fairfax
Darnell Smith Jr. Sep 14 Jul 26 Tanya Smith
DC
Paul Carmelo Spirio Sep 02 Mar 22 Carmelo Spirio
Leesburg
Kelly Marie Stanfield Apr 10 Sep 07
Jack and Susan Stanfield Fairfax
Jennifer Strowe
Sep 25 Oct 30 Helene DiSanto
Fairfax
William Furey Sullivan Mar 07 Sep 03
Paul and Flora Sullivan Arlington
Jessica Blair Szymanski
Sep 05 Oct 15 Dennis and Kathleen
Szymanski Arlington
Nash O. Thompson III Sep 02 Mar 03
Manuela and Nash O. II Thompson Arlington
Anwar Romare Trask
Sep 01 Jan 29 Alvin and Sonia Trask
DC
Nicole Wade May 22 Sep 24
Patty and Rhett Wade Leesburg
Dulce Maria Wahdan
Feb 08 Sep 18 Jerri Lee and Hasan Wahdan
Leesburg
Tiffany Wampler Sep 29 Nov 16
Joan and Bob Wampler Reston
Jesse Ward
Sep 07 Dec 02 Sandy Ward
Arlington
Dana Denise Wood Sep 04 Oct 15
Franklin and Marchelle Wood Arlington
Julia Young
Sep 10 Mar 13 Gretchen and Donald Young
Leesburg
NO VACATION
There is no vacation from your absence. Every morning I awake, I am a bereaved parent.
Every noon I feel the hole in my heart. Every evening my arms are empty.
My life is busy now, but not quite full. My heart is mended, but not quite healed.
For the rest of my life every moment will be lived without you.
There is no vacation from your absence.
Kathy Boyett, TCF, MS Gulf Coast Chapter
NONPROFIT ORG U.S.POSTAGE
PAID ARLINGTON, VA PERMIT NO.348
Compassionate Friends Trinity Presbyterian Church 5533 North 16th Street Arlington, VA 22205
Address Service Requested
SEPTEMBER 2010SEPTEMBER 2010