rIe~on goes ape

a ee

•

••ar Ic·onsternate

FiveCents

Bitingattacksat MIT

to corrt:late the results of student per­formance and professorial tort feas­ing. That is, we plan to demote asmany professors as they flunk stu­dents," said an administ{ationspokesman.

None of the professors affectedwere available for comment in ouroffice yester.:day.

1928."Institute police officials have asked

MIT students to notify them immedi­ately if they have any information re­garding the whereabouts of a large,swiftly-moving bird 'that says "beepbeep", and a vicious, but somew.hattired-looking coyote that says"cux:ses, foiled again. "

. Also eized in the revolt were thenuclear reactor, the magnetohydro­dynamics lab, and the recently re­named Edna P. Zilch room (former­ly 26·100). The only importantfacil­ity left under the control of the legiti­mate authorities was The Rech. Whena ked why the paper was. left undis­turbed, Leavitt commented "Are youkidding? Who'd want to have theirname connected with that miserablerag?"

He then remarked, propping hiselaborately polished jackboots on hisdesk and unbuttoning his black mili­tary jacket, that he couldn't see whypeople .were always calling the M ITSGa fascist organization.

"We're not, really," he said."Actually, we're only trying tQ. pro­tect the rights of the students, andstamp out Communism. People justdon't understand this. They saywe're too militant and extremist. No,it is not true that we were in any wayprompted in out recent actions byseeing the film "Seven Days In May."He paused to adjust' the "Scott forPresident" button in his lapel.

At this point, a person apparent­ly of some importance in the organi­zatio'n, later identtfied as Gar Randall'66, entered. the room, saluted, andinformed Leavitt that "the leader"wanted to see him. Leavitt left, follow­ed by half a dozen aides.

Administration reaction to thecoup has been mostly unfavorable,on the whole. The ~h, in a special-'exclusive interview' with PresidentStratton at 1:30 tIlis morning, askedhim what he thought about the stu­dents' revoltiqg. Stratton, who issomewhat hard of hearing, scratchedhis nos'e with' his ear-trumpet andsaid "Ahrrhrmmm. Well, yes. I dofind studentssomewhat revolting, nowthat you mention it. Very definitely,Say-tel~ me-why is your horsered?"

The Dean's office has recently re-,ported a high incidence of b\ting at­tacks at MIT. The'attackers appearto be large rodents with prominentfront teeth. '

ecked

bers promotedby Soapy Tiddleemming, Ecbaipfak, Qwer­

and Stratton, in a surprisemove the Administration. Themove w s announced surprise moveby the dministration. The movewas announced by a guy with an U­legitima e signature.

" is move was taken in an' ef­ordinate professorial action

with st dent action. A one to one ra­tion is being conserved in an attempt

the attack commented, "Although itwas not r best work, that road-runner a that coyote did a fairlygood job. attacking me. Their out-bursts re nf a slightly differentstyle fI:o Chuck Jones' earlierworks, but at times Mr. Jones' over­use of my, blood to create vivid effectswas largely ineffective, although it didcreate some delightful imagery." ,

Mr. Jo es, directotofthecartoons,and also resident of the Acme Bat­man Co tume Corporation, whenreached f r comment on the attack,stated, "I told my boys to make awreck ou of The Rech critic/and I'mpleased tQ hear they did such a finejob."

MIT bfflcials believe the attackwas pro oked when Mr. San Fran­cisco publ hed a rather harsq, reviewof a roadnmner cartoon. In the re­view, he ed that Mr. Jones' "ex­tensive us of symbols, most of whichI took to be sexual, I thought preten­tious .and unrevealing of the ~atureofthe char , and furthermore, theadult cha fS are not so successful-ly treated d the cartoon suffers inconsequ ... Mr. S rancisco tlien went ontosay that, the back of the road-runner's ~ is torn and the coyote.walks cl her to hide the fact, but,then .fee iron birdseed, seemslike a no te&Jultur to ,me. The cata-pult, th .c roller skates, theboomera the portable rocket en-gines, ar all old, dull, useless cine­matic tri that should have diedalong wi the death of the last timethe LSC 1 t on a good movie of anykind, w I wa a freshman in

In a' tunning coup d'etat whichleft In tit te officials and tudentalike ga p'ng, the 169-member MIT

tudent f r Goldwater overthrew thee 'i ting tudent government lastnight, an e tabU hed in it place amilitary junta headed by MIT' ownright-wing extremi t demagogue, DFl. olan, who was recently defeated in abid for p wer in la t month's APelections.

• •crItICRech

FacultyThe promotion of .43 faculty

members was ,announced a couple ofdays a~o by some guy with an illeg­ible signature. This happens everyweek. .

- Professors25 professors, mostly in the Phy­

sics depar!Jnent, were promoted to therank of mackboard Cleaners, amongthem etaion shrdlu Professors Prank,

oordinated by Mike Leavitt'66, the neo-fa cist organizationtaged a carefully planned and well­

organized takeover, overpowering ex-AP Bill amuel '65 and the entire

Institute ommittee, while imulta­neou ly seizing control of WTBVooDoo, Tech Engineering 'ew, the5.02 labs, the common kitchen, theBaker Hou e laundry room, 127men' room cattered throughoutthe Institute, and four coed .

Just one day after hi stingingcriticism of the Roadrunner cartoon ,The Rech movie critic Francisco anFrancisco was found in hi dormitoryroom with large beak marks all overhi body (as though some large birdhad been pecking at him) and hor­rible claw marks allover his body(as though sQme large jungle cat hadbeen tearing at him). The lettersBEEP BEEP CREEP were foundscrawled in blood on the wall.

Mr. an FranciscO', resting com­fortably in the MIT infirmary after

The' Bursar's office announced'yesterday that an orgy at McCormickHall has resulted in the expulsion often coeds for what Dean n~ calls"promiscuous activities". Althoughno boys' were involved in the orgy, itwas reported that the ten girls werec.aught telling red horse joke , hold­ing a virginity poll, reading vqoDOO, crossing grapes with elephants,and wearing lipstick. The orgy wasdiscovered by Dean Wouldleigh, whocried out, "Anyone who is here fiveminutes from now won't be here to­morrow." Dean Wouldleigh thencommented that the enrollment in theSchool of Architecture was dow)lslightly from last year.

~ Vol. XLAX,kitchen

'Fhe Bursar's office announcedlast Friday that MIT has received a$42 billlon grant from the NQ.rthPacific States Organization for thePopularization and Preservation ofPre-Cambrian I.nvertebrates, Dispos-essed Orphaned Aardvarks, - and.

One-Eyed Ducks.The money will be used exclusive­

ly for research purposes, with the ex­ception of .00001 per cent, which willbe set aside for students whose parentswere aardvarks or one-eyed ducks.

NPSOPLPCID010ED

A dead rat was discovered in thesteam-tables' of the Baker Hous~kitch­ens, it was reported yesterday. Thefind was 'made by Harrison C. Dean'66, who was cleaning the week's ac-

-cumulation of grease-drippings anddead flies from the underside of the'table at the time. ....... ~

The rat, which was approximate­ly nine in$es long; not counting itstail, is estimated to have been deadfor several days. When asked whatled him to, his discovery, ,Dean said"Well, you know -it kind of was be­ginning to' smell even worse thanusual." '

The Administration has declinedto cd~ment on the incident, claimingthat it was probably a mole anyway.

(continued/rom page 4)

The mysterious appearance of a large red horse - or perhaps itwas a small red elephant-in the main lobby of Building 10 lastFriday has set off a commotion which is still raging.

The animal was first noticed by Malcolm X Malcolm, an eagle­eyed coUrse VI 'sophomore, who observed the beast quietly croppingthe grass in the northeast corner of the lobby. Immediately upondiscovering the intruder, Malcolm hastened to report to the Regis­trar's office.

The Registrar's office, after carefully checking the files, concludedthat there was no red horse registered at MIT, and suggested thatperhaps Malcolm had been mistaken. Malcolm, annoyed at thepetiy bureaucracy of Institute officialdom, slugged the Registrar inthe teeth, and left the office.

Hotly pur ued by the Campus Police, he returned to the lobbyof Building 10, where the ho~se was still peacefully cro~ping thegrass. A crowd had started to'form.

At t,his point, Dean Wordly arrived on the scene, and said "Any­body who is here in five ·minutes will not be here tomorrow."Everybody except Wordly, Malcolm, the Campus Police, and thehorse immediately dispersed, although not without comment.

The Campus Police then seized Malcolm, and carted him off tothe lavatory in the basement of Walker Memorial, where he is beingheld in confmement. Wordly returned to his office, where he resumedtearing the wings off flies. The horse continued to crop the grass.

Representatives of the various departments were called in for aconference. After carefully examining the situation, several observa­tions were made.

Richard Filipfrowzi of the Architecture department remarked,wearing his usual silly smirk, that "We seem to have a red horsehere. " A 21. 0 1 instructor seconded this, saying "Yes indeed, it isso - it could be no other way."

Dean Birdshirt >of the Humanities department -said that handlinghorses was a little out of his line, although his department wasquite skilled in dealing with the bull.

Eventually, it was noticed that the horse had disappeared whilethe conference was in progress. No explanation has been found foreither its appearance or disappearance, or, for that matter, as towhy there was grass in the lobby of Building 10. Various theorieshave been advanced, however. Don Maccaroon, headof the YoungAmericans for Freedom, said that it was obviously a Communisticplot. "Notice," he said, "that it was a red horse, as opposed to ahorse of another color. I intend to get to the bottom of this."

CONTENTSPure Rag Virtually all

plus monosodium glutamate andsodium propionate added toretard inevitable rotting.

Not only that, but

Feetnotes 2

Numnuts 2

<;:ontents .

Ads, paid and pending 1-4

Originally thought to be Spring Weekend Queen, red horse goesunnoticed, ravaging Great Court.

~ nique, so most of the stunt-mo,onersI know go in for mooning in unusualplaces, at unusual times, or ,for un­usual durations. I remember one fel­low who shot in the middle of theSoutheast 'Expressway for 56 continu­ous bours. Now this is all right ifyou're really good and take everyprecaution, but this sort of thing en­courages QIJ1ateurs, to do the ,sameand, frankly, Jack, it's just too riskyfor a novice to, try. I'd suggest that,for tlielr ow~ sake and for the sake ofthe sporl. moaners stick to controlledsupervi8e!J meets and stay away fI:omstunt-8h~ptinB. It's just too risky andif worse comes to worst - well, thatsort of thing gives the sport a badname."

"I see our space is about used up,Wright; than~,you for talking withlJ8. An parting shots, so to speak?"

"Thank you, Jack.. Just onethingI'd like to say in conclusion: Whenyou're outside like this, and the sun isbeating down on you, and a gentlebreeze is blowing around you - Tryit, man - It'J the greatest"

e sto

The addition of a large recreationroom wiJ1 permit bingo game to beheld on unday nights.

73. pring Weekend, runningevenfarther in the red than expected, willbe cancelled tomorrow r The week­end ran into an insurmountable prob­lem in that they were competing withA-Ball, which is held at the same time.Furthermore, we received a rumorlast night which might turn out to bean even greater problem - virtuallyall of the entertainers have brokentheir contracts and walked out. For­tunately, the weekend will be replacedwith a special LSC showing of thirtyRoadrunner cartoons.

3. The Earth cience building hasbegun to lean to the outh, and willcontinue to lean at the rate of oneinch per month. It seems that thebuilding i just one big publicity stuntdesigned to promote the M. I. T. image.As soon a the building leans farenought to be noticeable, the publicwill be charged admission to climb tothe top. Stouffer's will open a restau­rant on the roof.

96. The MDC will place an officeron Mass. Ave. in front of buildingseven. The officer will see to it thattickets are given tn students who jay­walk. ' The traffic light will be re­moved, since few people observe itanyway.

New CoursesThree new courses will be added

to the catalog next year. The first ofthese, Sumarian l>ialects of ModernSanskrit as Spoken in J{enya(21.041T) will be requisite for soph­omores, and will be used to replacethe present 21.04. In order to inte­grate the humanities with science, thePhysics Department will teach a courseon The Effects of Hegel on the Max­well Equations (8.032), and theMathematics Department will' offerMathematics and God (18.99G). De­tails on this last course will be dis­cussed next week.

e e

Last week' "leak of the week",that ten coeds would be expelled 'ror"p'romiscuou activitie ", turned outto be this week' headline. Bet youwonder how we knew.

e are especially plea ed to an­nounce the realization of another pre­diction-that 18.01 and 18.02 willindeed not be dropped from the cata­log next year.

Hotnuts appears occasionally in the Burstin' Howl.

THe Crystal Ball68. .1. T.'s Chemistry Depart­

ment will be dissolved in the nearfuture - probably by next month.This decision was precipitated by thereaction offreshmen to 5.364, a coursewhich has discouraged many of themfrom majoring in chemistry. Theol­ogy will become the new cour e Five.More about this next week.

70. The L C ha taken the hintfrom Francisco an Francisco, TheRech's. movie reviewer. We can ex­pect drastic changes in the movieschedule for the rest of this term. Fineartistic movies, more suitable to theintellectual-M.l.T. Community, willbe sub tituted for the current enter­taining ttash. Furthermore, the mov­ies will no longer be shown in room10-250, but will instead be projectedonto the side of the Earth Sciencebuilding in order to provide a moreartistic a mosphere.

80. Dr. Julius Stratton will, withinthe next few weeks, resign from hispresidency of M. 1. T. It seems thatPresident Stratton has become disgust­ed with the smell of commons whichwafts over to his mansionfromWaIk­er. It is also rumored that PresidentStratton is tired of M. I. T. 's drabcam us. Hans Mueller will probablybecome the new President.

4 . The next construction projecton campus will undoubtedly be anenlargement of the M.l. T. chapel.There have been many complaintsthat the chapel is now overcrowded.

Prog aodern technology is increasing

rate which is outstripped only byate of the Malthusian explosion~­

means that as science advances,an our technology increases, it is be­co . g increasingly necessary to findadd tional means of enlarging tlie hab­itab e space in the universe, by the ut­mo t in efficient mapping and disposi­tio

It is for this reason that we areed by the enormity ofspace wasted

in e Institute. Here at M.1. T., sup­pos dly the cradle of technocratic plan­ning, we find such flagrant wastes asthat exhibited in the case of 50-009, a~~M 's Room" in the basement ofW er Memorial. 0 amount of 10­

gis can justify the relegation of6,000square feet of space for a Men's Roomin alker.

50-009 has five urinals, an equalnu er of sinks, and four private heads.The room is large and open, with asqu e central area of no conceivableuse 0 anyone. In addition to the wastedspace in the center ofthe room (occupiedonI by a very large waste-basket), thehea themselves are nearly six incheslarger than the st~ndard booth size.This is to say nothing of the wasted.space due to the exceptionally highceili g.

To compound matters, 50-009 is arela ·vely unused room. At almost anytime of the day or night it can be foundcom letely vacant; never are more thantwo or three of the facilities in simul­taneous use, except for special functions.

We cannot condone or overlookthis agrant violation ofconservation of .spa , and sternly reprimand the ad­min· tration under which it flourishes.We eartily recommend that this roombe ade into a lecture hall, that it mayagai serve a useful function to the In­stitute community. In this way, itwouldceas to be a drain or sink of Institutereso ces, and would become a source.

SID A ,.Jr.480 co MONWEALTH AVE.

KE 6-6624 NEAR KE MORE SQ. .

EnJoy the FiR... 't.lian-Am.riun Food

-Sim:;:~~ITALlAN.AMERICAN RESTAURANT

~., ••' Choice Liquors and Imported 8Hn"0 co- \0

21 Bt{ . KLINE STREET, CAMBRIDGE - Tel. EL 4-9569(at Centr I Squre)

. Open Every i ht 'til Midnight -'Free PaningAsk About Student D~unt Boob

MAY 1, 1964

BOARD OF DIRECTORS

on SaleMay 20,21

Vol. XLAX NO.1

BOlTPRIZEISSUE

N

WC><a..

, Acting Sports Editer Joe Netmen '67Associate Sports Editer Charles Hoopmen '66Sporting Associate Editer Harold Trackmen '44Editing Sports Associate Ethel Mermen 'nTreasurer Alexander Hamilton '76Usurer . .' Paul Samuelson '1401Insurer John Hancock '1Assistant lackey Betty Slutky '42-21-36Phone Company Alexander Bell '267-8651

Stoff' Alphonse Shnook '68Assistant Stoff Melvin Flagpole 'SOJoke Stoff Peter Gozinya '69Stoff Joke ' Francisco Son Francisco '64

Assistant Stoff Candidate Harley Ecbaipfak'64Editer Candidate Jenson Phone '54UAP Candidate . ~ AI Gosser '57Papermaker Springfield Oval '06

Not.d for the b.st Sandwich.sto .at in or take out.

FAMOUS ROAST BEEF SPECIALSANDWICH-KNACKWURST­BRATWURST with SAUERKRAUT

or POTATO SALADOlund die feinen Wurstw.,.n"71 Nt. A. I'll St., e-Ml.

491·2142

ELSIE &: HENRY BAUMANN

Dutch Cleaners233 Massachusetts Ave.

Opf?osite NeccoTRowbridge 6-5662

Quality • Service

ELSI~'S

Sixth-closs postage owed to Cambridge, Massachusetts.The Rech was published this once on on inspiration, byVooDoo, 303 Walker Memorial, Massachusetts Institute ofTechnology, Cambridge, Massachusetts 02139. Telephane617-555-1212. If a woman answers, hong up.

VooDoo Managing "Boord Bob Pilon,Mike levine, David DeWan

VooDoo Senior Boord Dove Cohn,Norm Rubin, Bill DelHagen,

Bob large, Rolph Schmitt

JUNIOR BOARD Charles Deber, Bob Pindyck,Edson Hendricks, Maurice Scherer,

Bob Colvert, Doug McCraith, Steve Fletcher,Isaac Bornstein, Thomas Roddick, Robby Taylor

The Rech welcomes letters and other space fillerfromits reader. These letters will be printe if the editordeems them simple enough that he can understand them,or if they are typed. Anonymous letters will not be print­ed, but the author's nome will.

The editor is responsible for every opinion in theworld.

>- Choirmon Coword Browbeot '65

~ Elliciter Ronald Censhure '64

Business Mangler Kent Brownnose '63

G New Editer Willy Sputnick '62

W Siezures Editer David Vandalturf '610::W Pornography Editer . , Steve Trachea '60

::x:: UndermlnlJ)ent Editer John Mountainous '26t-

laidout Editer John Raintrees '68

..-

-f:J:m;;:0m():J:

~»-<

-0Q

toctW

50e

8:00

o ALEMAY 15

ay 10

Classic Series

Ihi

day,

DAR

"TheBicycle Thief"

on Rl'qu I

10·250

5

uburn StreetC.."bridge

T 6·5417

11:5912:002:00

,,- ----.• laurence Olivier in "the •I great love story of our time." •I II" ering Heights" •I •

Lm I:JDsr..'I:J,,- ------.• "A shocker" •• Ingmor Bergman's •• •• •I •• ••. '13 m02G.J------.I Albert Finnev in '.

'The Victors" •- Alec Gulnness In Javender Hill Mob' •

..:....""!!~~D~.=:..

10:0012:00

2:00

.,

FRIDAYnIh l'nlur~ 8:

9: -

Get Eaton

Institute authoritie recently an­nounced that the lecture hall formerlyknown a simply 26-100i henceforthto bear the name of Edna P. Zilch,class of 1907. Mi s Zilch, adecea edmultimillionaire benefactor of the In­stitute, is held in great esteem for hermany contributions to the "world ofscience. These include the inventionof panish Fly and the mas Ie s pull· •••!II•••••••••ey, and the di covery of Firch Tues­day.

Other rooms renamed in room­renaming ceremonie thi week in­clude the John Beresford TiptonRoom (formerly the Building 8 fur­nace room), the elson A. RockefellerRoom (formerly room 7-107), andthe Ben Worthington Room (former­ly the Great Dome).

26·100 RENA EDIN HONOOF ZILCH '07

MO DAY8:00 Ya"n I Dawn9: 1- 'il{l1 off -\~ain

6: :iWl n \I!ain: TheJohn B. llind 'h "

7:00 . ud8:00 'Iub Ball ono ho.9:10 . IU~lard"ork

12:00 Jui al ~Iidnighl

1:3 ep. ign rf

., S01ltJl~"0

2J HARRISON AVE.HA 6-4210

(Between Essex & BeechStreets, \Boston) .

ISLAND & CANTONESEFOOD. EXOTIC DRINKSAuthentic Hawaiian Luaus

Moderate PricesI I a.m.-) a.m.

Daily & Sunday

Pastry

6:30, 9:00,a d 10:~0

thing can be worked out.All card-carrying member ofIT G will be allowed complete free­

dom of the facilities, and YAF andYR member will be allowed in mo tarea . Other hould keep within non­re tricted areas for the interim.

Following the u ual practice offavoritiSm, the following people havebeen appoirtted to Inscomm: i~e

Leavitt, Executive Committee Chair­man; Gar Randall, Finboard Chair­man; John Bobbitt, CEP Chairman;and Mike Blechner, Judcomm Chair­man. It i not absolutely neces aryto alute these people in the hall , al­though it might be advisable.

All critici ms of the new govern­ment are welcomed. There' plenty ofroom in the Walker Lavatory Jail.

LECTURE SERIES CO

ay 8

BERKLEE SCHOOL OF MUSIC

.....,·5 B_ber Shop545 Technology Square

(Opposite Garage in Back of East Campus)

"For that we" groom d loolc,go to Larry's"

EL 4:-6165 (I Hour Free Parking)

Friday,

Contemporary Series Entertainment Series

nThe Mouse that Roared" nThe List ofalso 'et,r S,II,r's 5 ort Adrian Messen

"T , Cas, of t ,kki '5' Battle or " Sat _, ay 9

at first and last shows only

If libsic Is Yo r Hobtal-or Avocatlo. _«I Your lilterest Is:• JUI ImprcwrAtion • InstrullMftfs or Voice • Ar'*'9ing and Compocition

C." M . W'llLlA H. CURTIS, bqi'StNlrSpeci.1 Shret.nt Division, CO 7-4452

By D. F. Nolan, UAKFir t, I would like to thank the

many people who helped make ye ­terday' takeover a success. I prom­ise thllt the armed guards will beremoved from In titute facilities assoon as po ible- by next October,or perhaps ovember, at the verylatest.

ext,- I would like to dispel anynasty rumor concerning ma execu­tion. I'm very sorry about the un­fortunate occurrence with Bill am­uels, and promi e that the epi odewith the MIT ocialist Club will notbe repeated unless absolute nece ary.

Al 0, although at the moment allsubsidie to student activities havebeen suspended,' and the charters o~

tbe .Young Democrat, Civil Rightsommittee and ocial Action Com­

mittee revoked, I am sure that ome-

Int.rnflflOllaily rKornlr.d educflflonfli CMt., 'or t/t.e study 0' Amet'ictIff Music

UAK calls you all suckers for voting for him

r----~----Inside Inside --~-----....

26-100 60~ . 26·100or by m~mbership

Pool profs fi.d newchalk use: FOR' CUE

erated his next move. The tense silencewa broken only by C~dCheerlead­er , chanting "Give me an - A -

- ...... - G - Y ". Feldman thenlowly rai ed his o. 2 black lead

champlQnship pencil and carefullyplaced an 0 in the upper right handcorner. It was perfect, except for alight bulge on the left Side, which

made it look omewhat more akin toan egg than a championship O. ev­erthele , it was the master stroke!The gamewa over, and Feldman hadled E. Campus to a thrilling victoryin I ,Xer and Oer play.

In an interview after the game,Feldman et down hi champagnegIll, long enough to et strai~bt onceand for all rumor that have beenrunning rampant over the campusthat he is con idering dropping out ofthe Institute and turning pro. "Com­pletely untrue," aid he, "my studiesin idio-nuclear thermo engineeringmean too much to me. till, I intendto keep up my three hour_ of dailypractice and maybe even take a sum­mer cour e in drawing more perfect'O's, ju t 0 as I have- a chance toearn an income if the Engineeringprofes ion ever folds."

.How They Did.Old Maid

MIT 6 - Yale 3'Basketball

MIT 3 - Cincinnati 324MIT 45 - Chandler 69

BaseballMIT 7 - Yankees 3MIT 2 - MTA Conductors 65

(Exhibition)

Tic Tac ToeMfT 4 - Harvard O.

An expensive brawl in the newDuPont Center billiard room last nighthas led the Institut to consider closingthe 3 million showplace only twoweeks after its opening. Reports indi­cate that two physics professors, ceJe-

. brating with a game of snooker aftersetting an 8.02 quiz. with'a negativeclass average, got into a brawl andmanaged to rip one table beyond re­pair, and also hurled beer cansthrough a sixty foot long mirror be­hind the bar.

According to "Big Jack" Mur­phy, who was behind the bar at thetime of the incident, an argument de­veloped right after Professor HalBrant put 'English' on the cue ball toknock a blue-black combination intothe side and put the game on 'ice'.His opponent, Professor Bruckner,argued that the shot must have in­volved some cheating because theclearance needed to make the shotwas so small that the blue ball couldonly be struck on the' extreme edge.He continued that Brant could notpossibly have imparted enough spinangular momentum on the cue ballto' enable it to transfer a force to theblue ball sufficient to knock it in thepocket. Brant countered that the fric­tion force on the table was practicallynon-existent, and was reaching for abook of C.R.C.'s to demonstrate hispoint, when Bruckner slugged himwith his brass rat. At that point,Isaac Shapiro, '67, a well-known toolwho had up until then been quietlydrinking at the bar, came over to set­tle the dispute. Shapiro tried to dem­onstrate a method to determine theNlf"ffidp.!nt ('If f1r;t+inn nf th.p hilliax-d__table, but was quickly diss a bya rap in the mouth from Brant. Sha­piro then lost his temper, and wasabout to strike Brant a surely fatal

(Continued on page 6)

tic S·

and

widda team at his quatabackin' po­si hun."

Another player who, in yourtrue blue reporter's opinion was n9­table over the past seas6h's grid grindwas Saul Feinman, who many fansremember as a fleeting number2. '(1828 charging courageously intoa stone wall of gallant but outmatch­ed behemoths in opposition.

The squad's greatest momentcame at half time in the big home­coming game when the mascot beaver,"Bucky", escaped from his trainer,and proceeded to chop down bothgoal posts beforehe was apprehended.

opening with an unorthodox in thecenter box in the lower row. Feldmancountered with an equally urpri ·ngo in the upper left hand corner.

ch\ artz wa vi ibly haken by thi ,and panicked into an in the cente'rbox. Feldman hotly pur ued hi now­apparent advantage with a top-eenterO. chwartz, hi brow gli teoing withthe weat of pre ure, tried an X in leftcenter. The crowd leaned forwarde gerly, a Feldman carefully delib-

greats

faC foE

- *DuPont's trademark'ieOr its polyester fiber.i

MIT's Basketweaving team just finish weaving latest basketwhen unidentified Felta Thi player tosses large round obj'ectat it.

Bill Feldman '65 y terdayparked E. ampu to a thrilling

victory over Zeta pilon Phi in thech pion hip Tic Tac Toe matcheheld in Rockwell age. Feldman watied 3-3 in game in the be t 4-of-7champion hip men left-handedingle match going into the final

game. All other matche were com­pleted, and the title hung on the ictorof the final duel of wit . Z P' Harry

chwartz tarled a capacity crowd by

MIT's pig kinmen, in their fIrstseason pf operation, surprised all of .the experts, except "your TH;E Rechreporter, by capturing the leaguechampionship and fInishing the sea­son ranked number one. Coach K.O.Rocker was truly amazed by histeam's excellent showing, he said whenhe was interviewed during a victorycelebration with the team a1 the Ox­ford Bar and Grill last night. "Deboys wuz truly supoib," elucidatedRocker eloquentl~ "in fact we'replanning to retire big .Jock J. Ma­honey's sweater number, 3.1415926­536. becuz he had such a great season

Sir Perior Cord Suits .

Sir Perior Suits ~ .

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, \.I~.~ Mt.-'

May 20th and 21st

lobbie of buildings 1 and 2

The past year ha witnessed the The greate t danger i in unorganizedphenomenal growth of a new inter- mooning- That' why eurgeevery­collegiate sport-mooning. We are one eriou ly intere ted 1,0 the porttotalking today with G. right Cham- join a club or team. t major col-

'''''It bers, captain ofthe recently-organized lege have tbem now and there areW MIT ooning Team. ':Good after- good non-eollegiate group in mo fC) noon, Wright, and welcome to The cities. There' no ub ti te for train­< Wild World of Sports." ing and 'conditioning and all the f.'C- "Thanks., Jack.. It's a plea ure."

"'sright, why don't you give us a groups offer program for beginnershort run-down on the history of which tre afety procedures. If

-;::z sport-mooning?" proper precaution are taken, moon-C- "Well, Jack, that's not an ea y ing i as afe a any other pert."

job, Th~ origins of the game are "How i publicacceptancegoing?"_ somewhat in doubt. The earliest re- "That' al ay been our principal

cord I've'seen of the sport as we know problem Jack. The w rid eem to~ it today dates from the Spring of be divided into t ogrou : tho ewho.~ 1962 in ew Jersey, but I've beard do and tho e ho don t. We re gain-

estimates that place it as long ago as ing convert ev ry day. but there are:I: 1958. Of course the game itself prob- till million of people ho've neverU ably dates from antiquity, but the had the thrill of taking a hot. ndw formalization and systematizing has there' nothing more affling to a0:= all been done in the .past year and a non-mooner than mooing _ they

half or so. Originally, as you know, think we're a bunch of ut. I don'tw the sport was an indlvidual thing,:I: but, lfke sport-parachuting, it lent it- know - maybe they're ight. Oncet- self readily to competitive play." you get the bug, it's a fully easy for

.. I believe aU our listeners are mooning to become your Ufe. Whenfamiliar with the rudiments of the people a k me why I do it, I'm re­sport, Wright, but could you sum- minded of the mountain climber whomarize the scoring system for us?" aid he climbed because mountain

"Sure, Jack. In a meet there are wa there- I gue that the neare tgenerally three divisions: Men's, Wo- I can come to an exp anation. Imen's, and Mixed. In each division, know, though, that th're' nothingthere are contests for individual and like ~he kick I get fro throwing ateam play. The individual scoring is perfectly executed moon The peeta­done almost entirely on form. Ea.ch tors' have a lot to do wi it, of coursecontestant has a maximum of fIfty - I get a trelpendous ch ge from thePOints. Scoring is done by three oohs and ah d 11~1' I dJudges. The fellows compete two at a an ~ue ps raw

when I take a good shot. gue stime and a double elimination system there's a little exhibition t in' us all,is used. We've found that to be thefairest procedure. -In team play, in- but to be a really g od mooner,dividual form is important, too, but you-:ve got to have ju a little bitsynchronization is probably the fac- more than your share. A lot offellowstor that separates .the really good aqd -gals practice alone1 ut when theteams from the run-of-the-mill. chips are down and you're in a meet,There's something really satisfying you

1

ve got to go out be ore that gal­about watching a team throw a per- lery ~d reallyshow the whatyou 1refectly coordinated 360 'degree full- made of. Nobody with tage frightmoon, single hang-out with loop. It's can last long in competitive moon­like a drill team or the Rockettes or ing. "something. " . "What besides that required of

"You use the phrase 'take a shot'. a good mooner?"Is this the same thing as 'throwing a ttP.ractically Qothing. I'm gladmoon' ?" you asked that, Jack, &cau,ae that,

. "Yes. Any sport develops its own ,to' me, is one of the greatest things. ~ Jargon after awhile. We're getting' about.thesport. Justa ut anyone

• there. Another good example is can do it and do a fairly od job of~Gotcha!', which has been with the it, once be's picked u the funda-game since the start and is to moon- mentais. n .

ing what 'Geronimo!' is to para- ~ uJust ol\e more qu n. Wright,. ·chuting." _then I'll let you get back toyourpfac-

tt I see. What about the dangers lice. What are your IS aboutinvolved? How do you feel about the rising popularity of tunt-moon-that?" . ing?"

"Well, it can't be denied that there . "Well, Jack, I hate tis some risk, but then there's risk in- th~y're m9stly negative. I mean, avolved in crossing the street. People. shot's a shot and theret not muchtend to over-estimate it, though;... we room for vau tion in basic tech-actually.,have a ,,:ery good record,.. (Coht. on. 1)