“Is everyone on my website?” Mrs.Lyons asked as she was waiting for the students to get

onto her website. Paige responded, “My Ipad is still loading.” Mrs.Lyons and the other students

waited for Paige’s Ipad to load. The students sat quietly, staring blankly into their Ipads, and

daydreaming until the lesson began. Finally after five, interminable minutes, Mrs.Lyons told

Paige she would have to look on with another student who would be performing a virtual frog

dissection. The class had now wasted precious learning time, and Paige, having to look on with

another student, unable to perform the dissection herself, did not get as much of a learning

experience. In the school I attend, all the eighth graders have Ipads. Last year, my brother used

an Ipad in school as an eighth grader along with the rest of his cluster. At one point in science

class, his cluster was a whole unit behind the other two clusters who did not have Ipads to deal

with. This shows that the Ipads waste time, and that students can learn more information at a

faster rate without them. Ipads have a negative effect on middle school students, as they can

raise the opportunity of bullying, can waste learning time, are distracting, and are very

expensive.

One reason Ipads can hurt students is some of the apps that can be downloaded. Social

media and gaming apps are not good for middle school students. In apps like Facebook, Twitter,

and Instagram there can be a lot of bullying and hurt feelings involved. One day, Callie was

scrolling through the pictures on Instagram on her Ipad just like she does everyday with a smile

on her face. Suddenly, her smile dropped, and her face filled with fury as she stared at the picture

one of her best friends posted on Instagram. It was a picture of Callie’s three best friends smiling

for the camera. Rollercoasters, Mickey Mouse, and happy little kids filled the background. Her

three best friends were in Disney World, and she had not been invited. Now Callie’s feelings are

hurt, and she is angry with her best friends, which is not good. As middle school students can

see, social media apps that are available to access on the Ipad can hurt friendships and feelings.

Not only can using Ipads hurt students emotionally, but they can also hurt students physically.

Visiting social media sites and playing games on the Ipad can be addictive. Today, many

students spend a lot of time on their Ipads or other pieces of technology. One minute a student

could be casually looking at pictures or playing games, and before they know it an hour has

passed. Too much screen time is bad for students. Instead, students could be reading and getting

smarter, or getting exercise. Therefore, addicting apps like Doodle Jump or Temple Run that can

be downloaded on the Ipads are bad for students. Communicating via an Ipad can also have a

negative effect on students. Communicating through text can lead to misunderstandings, as the

people receiving the message do not know what tone of voice the sender was using. A student

could have sent a message saying, “You are so stupid,” to another student, but in a sarcastic way.

Since this type of communication through the Ipads is not face to face, no one can tell if the

student was being serious or sarcastic. The student receiving the message, thinking the sender

was serious, might feel insulted and get angry. But, actually, the receiver just misunderstood the

message, and would not have gotten angry if the communication through the Ipad was clear.

With all the ways the Ipad can hurt a student both emotionally and physically, it is easy to see

that the Ipad can have a negative effect on middle school students.

Ipads also cost lots of money for schools or parents to buy for students, and there are still

many flaws with them. Ipads are around five hundred dollars. In Medfield, with around 230

students in each grade, it would cost around $115,000 for all of those students to have an Ipad.

Ipads can also break or have other problems, and it not worth it to buy an expensive item if it

could easily break. In many Apple devices like the Ipad, the home button can break. This is the

button that brings people back to the home screen after being on an app, so this button is very

important to be able to transfer from app to app. The Ipads are also very fragile, so if a student

drops it the screen could crack. When the screen is cracked, everything on the Ipad is harder to

see. Cracking the screen can be prevented by using a case, but a good case is expensive. Some

cheap cases are not very protective, so a more expensive case is usually needed. Not only can the

Ipad break, but work can be lost on an Ipad also. A student can never trust technology. For

example, when teachers assign homework on the computer or Ipad, sometimes the teacher does

not receive the assignment from a student even if they did it and sent it to the teacher. Sometimes

work is lost on the Ipad, and there is no other choice but to redo the assignment. One day, Sally

had a homework assignment to write a paragraph about her favorite type of ice cream. She went

home and immediately typed it up on her Ipad, trying as hard as she could to describe her

favorite ice cream perfectly. She was very proud of her writing, and she sent it to the teacher

through email just like she was supposed to. The next day in class the teacher announced that she

received everyone’s homework assignment but Sally’s. Sally was very disappointed, and she had

to rewrite her paragraph. This example shows that even though sometimes someone can send an

assignment to a teacher, they might not get it. No one can ever totally trust the Ipad, as work can

be lost. Another negative point about Ipads is that they might not work as well when they get old.

Like everything else, after an Ipad is used for a long period of time, it will eventually need to be

replaced. But, the Ipads are expensive! For $500 they should not need to be replaced when they

get old. Buying another 230 Ipads will cost another $115,000. This is a total of $230,000 just

being spent on the Ipads, which is simply too much. Overall, the Ipads are too expensive to be

creating so many problems.

Some may argue that Ipads have a positive effect on middle school students. The Ipad

does have some educational apps that can be useful in a classroom. Apps like Quizlet are great

for studying. Textbooks can also be downloaded onto the Ipad, making the lug from or to school

lighter. The Ipad could also be used to look up information on the Internet which can be helpful

on many occasions like when doing a project. Despite these positives, the negatives of the Ipad

still overrule them. These apps can also be found in other places. Quizlet can be found on the

computer, and it would be just as helpful when studying as it would be on the Ipad. Textbooks

can be found in paper form, and they would contain the same information and be just as useful as

they would be on the Ipad. The Internet can also be accessed on the computer, and the Internet

would be just as useful when doing projects or other assignments as it would be on the Ipad. So,

why purchase an Ipad when it has so many negatives, and some of its only upsides can be

accessed on other devices that do not have as many negatives? These educational apps can also

cost money. So, buying the Ipad is not eliminating the cost of textbooks fully. It can also be hard

to upload money onto every students Ipad if teachers wanted to use an app that costs money.

This is just more money that has to be spent when buying the app, in addition to the actual price

of the Ipads. Overall, although there are educational apps that can be useful, there are too many

negatives overshadowing this one positive aspect of the Ipad.

In conclusion, Ipads are distracting, expensive, and have a negative effect on middle

school students. Ipads can hurt students feelings who use the social media apps that can be

downloaded. Students today also spend way too much time on Ipads surfing the Internet, or

playing addictive games. Ipads also are very expensive for schools or parents. Although the

educational apps are a positive to the Ipad, the apps cost money and can be found in other places.

Ipads can also hurt students by distracting them in class. For example, the teacher might have

been giving a lecture about the Hebrews, and told the students to take notes on what she was

saying. Brandon started to take notes, but then got bored and was no longer listening to the

teacher. Instead of taking notes, he decided that he was going to play the new game, Fruit Ninja,

he downloaded to his Ipad the night before. Because of the Ipad, Brandon now has not listened to

the very important lecture his teacher was giving, and does not have all the notes he will need

later. The Ipad is too expensive to be creating these distraction and bullying issues. Unless used

very carefully, Ipads have the potential to harm every single student that uses them for either in

or out of school purposes. All students have less of a learning experience and are both mentally

and physically hurt when an Ipad is placed in their hands.

1. Nice work Susie, this is a well­written essay that presents and defends a sound argument against iPads in the classroom. 2. Throughout the essay you do a nice job of supporting your points with anecdotal evidence. The only paragraph where this is missing is your third body paragraph. Consider where you might be able to add one. 3. Excellent job editing your essay. There are no glaring spelling or grammar mistakes in your work.

The eyes of each student in the classroom are glazed over as they are hypnotized by the

screens of their iPads. No one listens as the teacher speaks of ancient history. Instead, they focus

on achieving the highest rank in Candy Crush. They are hardly interactive, and the teacher very

well could be talking to herself. The only response the teacher receives from the classroom is the

bing! of a new level being reached. This is what the eighth grade classrooms here at Blake

Middle School are slowly morphing into. I see this as I walk by open classroom doors and can

tell that the students are not learning to the full extent of their ability. The entrance of iPads into

Blake Middle School was meant to allow students to reach new levels of learning, not of

pointless games. iPads are extremely distracting to students, cost an exorbitant amount of money,

and make communication, therefore cheating, much easier. Bringing iPads into the lives of

students can cause many problems in and out of school.

One problem that iPads pose for middle school students is the distractions they create.

Gaming apps on iPads are distracting to many students. Their minds are so occupied by

strategies on how to pass a level in Angry Birds or how to reach their high score in Candy Crush

that they are unable to focus on the necessary information they are being taught. Students do not

have space left in their brains to think about the important information that is needed to succeed

if they are so focused on winning Temple Run. The ability to text others on iPads can also be

distracting. Students can text each other without being caught by turning off the ringer. While the

teachers may assume that they are attentively taking notes on their lesson on ancient history, they

could be messaging their friends about whether they are free to hang out after school that day.

When a student is thinking about the future, they can not focus on the present, and what they are

supposed to be learning. Lastly, the way that iPads have become a sort of “accessory” is

distracting to students. Instead of using the iPads for educational reasons, such as completing

homework and studying, the students are focused on how their iPads look. The true educational

value of using the iPads in school has disappeared due to the need for a “cute case” or a “cool

screensaver.” It has become a distracting competition of whose iPad can have the best

appearance. Students are often more focused on finding animal cases from Marshalls and funny

iPad backgrounds to improve their iPads appearance than the benefits which the iPad allows.

iPads are distracting to students and take away from their learning experience because of their

gaming apps, ability to message, and transformation into accessories.

iPads can also cause problems because of their hefty price. Some families may not want

to spend an exorbitant amount of money on items like iPads. iPads are not items that are

necessary to learn and succeed, and parents might rather spend the money on more important

items or services. For example, if a family was freezing cold because some of their windows had

broken, they most likely would want to spend money on fixing the windows instead of an iPad.

If a family spends money on an iPad, there are other much needed items or services that they

cannot spend that money on. The schools are forcing people to buy iPads and taking away their

choice of when and where to spend such a large amount of money. There are also families who

are unable to buy iPads because they cannot afford iPads on top of the cost of food and clothing.

At Thomas Blake Middle School, scholarships are offered to cover the expense of the iPads for

families who are unable to purchase them. The issue is, many parents are too embarrassed to

admit that they are struggling financially. If the parents do not accept the scholarship, the

students will not have the iPads that the school is requiring they have. This can make parents and

children stressed and embarrassed. Lastly, the responsibility of carrying an iPad around can be

pressuring for students. The fear of dropping or losing an iPad can keep a student from enjoying

themselves inside and outside of school. For example, if a student is worried about losing his or

her iPad, they may choose not to take their iPad out of their homes. This can make completing

work much harder, because they can not do their homework in between activities or in the car.

Due to iPads cost, students must be much more cautious and focused on the safety of their iPads,

which can take away from their focus on the important information they need to know. The large

amount of money that iPads cost can cause financial problems and stress for families and can

also make carrying one around too much responsibility for a student to handle.

Some may argue that with iPads come better communication. It is agreeable that iPads

can help with many aspects of communication in positive ways. Accessibility to helpful apps are

positive benefits an iPad can offer. With apps like Google Drive, students can easily discuss

lessons after school in a document, and the ability to peer edit can also be helpful. Although peer

editing can be helpful, students may take advantage of the private environment to be be mean to

each other, as they might with other communication apps, such as Gmail. When peer editing

another students work outside of the classroom, a student can easily be harsh and feelings can be

hurt. With Gmail, the ability to know everyone in the schools' email can result in people getting

unwanted emails from peers who are not nice to them in school. With better communication

comes better opportunities to cheat. If a student forgets their homework for school, a friend can

easily send a picture of their completed homework to them. Also, if a students wants a friend to

type up their paragraph or essay for them because they are too busy to do so themselves, they can

share their essay with them and click “can edit.” This allows the person who received the shared

essay to edit and work on it. Despite the benefits of better communication that comes with an

iPad, there are many more negative situations that are allowed for.

In conclusion, there are many negatives that come with iPads in and out of school. iPads

can be extremely distracting to students because of their gaming apps, messaging, and

transformation into accessories. The cost of the iPads can cause stress, embarrassment and

pressure on students and their families. Lastly, although the better communication that iPads

allow for can be helpful, it can also cause hurt feelings and an increase in the amount of cheating.

If iPads continue to be used in schools, the learning environment of the classrooms will slowly

slide downhill. The amount of interaction from the students will dwindle down to none. If

schools do not decide to cancel the iPad program, this is what most classrooms with iPads

present will gradually change into. It is not too late to transform these classrooms back into

lively learning environments. All that is needed to change classrooms back into what they were

before technology was introduced is to swap out the iPads for pencils and paper. As the Apple

company and the iPad program pick up speed, my hope is that some schools will stay on the

sidelines. In the end, although some students may not see this now, the schools that do not

choose to run with this iPad program are sure to be the true winners.

1. Excellent essay, Tatum! Each body paragraph has clear and descriptive points to support your

argument.

2. This essay shows a good control of the language. Several of the passages that I highlighted

show that you thought through what you were going to write and intentionally set up effective

and catching statements.

3. The two essors you made in the essay are small ones, but note them and improve next time.

“Happy birfday to you, happy birfday to you…” sang Tina’s three­year­old cousin,

Emily. Tina caught a glimpse of her thirteen birthday candles behind her in the reflection of her

shiny, brand­new, silver, laptop. Tina was watching the video for the fourth time that day. She

loved seeing her cousin sing over and over again. Her Uncle Tom had emailed Tina the video

early in the morning of her thirteenth birthday. He emailed it before the pink, flowered, wrapping

paper had been spotted at the edge of her bed, before it had fallen to the floor, before the scissors

had been retrieved from her school bag, because there was too much tape, before the box had

finally been opened and the bright, morning sun hit the shiny silver surfaces. Uncle Tom and

Emily were wide awake and ready to email Tina very early that joyous morning. I often find my

family’s laptop very useful, and I hope Tina enjoys hers! Along with many of my friends, my

family has a laptop for homework use. I have found it highly useful when we are traveling or

when another member of my family is using our desktop computer, to work on my homework or

school projects. Laptops are beneficial to the success of a middle school student because the are

portable and have internet access for homework or other research.

Laptop’s being portable is one aspect that makes them a positive technology for middle

school students. Imagine this: It is the day before winter vacation and Megan is leaving the frigid

Massachusetts air, in exchange for the warm eighty degree weather of Florida, in less than

twenty­four hours! There is ten minutes left in the school day, and no one is really listening to

what the social studies teacher, Mrs. Smith, is saying about the economy of Africa. With eight

minutes left in class, Mrs. Smith assigns a huge homework assignment due the day the students

returned from vacation. The entire class groans simultaneously. Megan begins to panic. How will

she fit all the books and papers she needs to fit into her already overly full suitcase? Then, Mrs.

Smith announces that, if the students would like, they may do the homework online. Megan

exhales a sigh of relief. She can simply put her highly portable laptop in her suitcase and do all

the work on the airplane ride! The first way laptops are portable is they are light and small so

they are easy to bring places! The average laptop weighs about four and a half pounds, and is

roughly the size of a textbook. However, the average textbook weighs about five pounds. Also, a

student can email a teacher or administrator for homework assistance from anywhere, as long as

the student has internet access. Think back to Megan, imagine if she gets on the airplane and

realizes that she does not fully understand the assignment. Instead of being unable to do the

assignment, Megan can email Mrs. Smith and she can explain the assignment so Megan can get

her homework done. Students can email teachers for help from almost anywhere. Finally,

websites such as “Skype” can be used on a laptop from virtually anywhere. Say Megan’s father

does not come to Florida with her and her mother. Megan can “Skype” her father from Florida

and keep in touch with him. Or think of Tina. She wants to thank her cousin, Emily, and her

Uncle Tom, for that video this morning. She just has to type in their phone number and then they

can video chat. Laptops have the ability to access sites to keep in touch with family members and

friends. The portability of laptops is one aspect that makes them a positive technology for middle

school students.

Another way laptops are a positive technology for middle school student is their access to

internet. For one, students can do their homework while they are traveling. Students can work

on their English essay while they are in the car using a laptop. Students can type their homework

which makes it neater and more organized. Furthermore, students can use websites to learn

different skills and information. a skill a student may learn is proper typing. The majority of

middle school students “hunt­and­peck” (typing using only one or two fingers) instead of typing

with both hands. “http://www.typingweb.com/” is one example of these websites.

“http://www.typingweb.com/” goes through each of the letters on a keyboard by themselves so

students learn can learn to the type properly. Finally, students can do projects or powerpoints on

a laptop. Most laptops come with a powerpoint application on them already. Students can work

on projects for school or at home, school, a friend’s house, or anywhere else they might find

themselves! One aspect of laptops that makes them a positive technology for middle school

students is their research abilities.

Like with anything in life, laptops have their drawbacks. One of these drawbacks is the

distractions a laptop could potentially present to middle school student. If a student was typing

their science lab conclusion, and suddenly their email “DING!”s, the student, more likely than

not, would check the email and respond. This is distracting the student and probably disrupting

the flow of the lab conclusion. Email, games, videos, and many other material that could

potentially be on a laptop, could be a distraction the middle school students. However, the

positive aspects of a laptop substantially outweigh the negative drawbacks. Some of the

aforementioned games found on laptops can be played when a student is bored or on an airplane

or car ride. Think about Megan. If she finishes all her homework before the airplane has landed,

she can play a game on her laptop to entertain herself. Also, if parents are extremely concerned

about their middle school student playing games during a period of time designated for

homework, there is a solution! Parents can use the “parental controls” section that is in the

settings of most laptops. This restricts what a person can access during certain times. This

insures that students are not playing games or checking their email while they should be working

on homework, such as a powerpoint for math class. While the distractions of a laptop may

deplete the appeal for some people, a laptop is still a great piece of technology available to

middle school students.

To conclude, laptops are highly beneficial to middle school students because of their

portability and access to the Internet. Although laptops could potentially become a distraction,

when used correctly and responsibly, having a laptop can be a positive price of technology for

middle school students. About five years after Tina's whirlwind thirteenth birthday, the doorbell

rings. Eighteen year old Tina, wearing Medfield High School sweatpants and a pink Hollister

t­shirt, runs to the door with her not­so­shiny laptop in her left hand. "Fhanksh" she says to the

delivery man with a mouthful of buttery popcorn. Tina brings the package upstairs and grabs the

scissors from her desk. Cautiously, not knowing what to expect, Tina tears the tape from the box.

She immediately sees a bright, white, eight and a half by eleven sheet of paper with a green

letterhead. Tina quickly scans the letter then, starts jumping up and screaming from her

exuberance. Tina has just been accepted to Dartmouth College! After a few minutes of

undeniable excitement, Tina looks and see something soft and green hanging out of the side of

the box. Tina opens the flaps of the box a little bit more. Sitting in the box, crisply folded is a

green Dartmouth sweatshirt. Tina is ecstatic and swiftly slips it on over her t­shirt. After a

moment Tina realizes that the letter must have accidentally been sent to her father's house and he

purchased the sweatshirt and enclosed it with the letter of acceptance. Tina quickly logs onto her

laptop, and while she is waiting for it to start, she remembers that first day as a laptop owner. She

connects her excitement from then to know and realized that she may never have reached this

point without her laptop. Looking at the laptop, it has obviously been used constantly. Tina types

in her father's “Skype” username and begins to call him. Together, Tina and her father rejoice in

her acceptance via video chat, which was made possible by her laptop.

1. Great anecdotes throughout this essay. I liked that you kept returning to the stories about Megan and Tina because it felt like there was good continuity throughout the essay. 2. Review your second body paragraph. You do such a great job in all the other paragraphs telling stories that the second body paragraph, though well­written, feels like it is really missing something when compared to your other paragraphs. 3. Overall, this is an excellent essay that shows a lot of good improvements from your first essay. This is an essay to be proud of!

Students scratch away with their pencils, intensely erasing away their errors that were made

previously on the assignment. Some students yawn, stretching out their arms and immediately go

back to work. Others try to resist the feeling that tries to drown them out from the world, then

plunges them into a deep sleep. One girl blinks slowly every second, then finally gives up and

buries her head in her arms to doze off. Every student is slumped in their chairs, yawning and

constantly looking up at the clock. However, a classroom next door is quiet, yet focused. No

students have the urge to nap. These students in the classroom are all eager, excited. Their

fingers are tapping away on their screens with delight and pleasure. Lost in the world of

technology, these students are provided with flexibility, portability and engagement in learning

through iPads with just a tap on the screen or with a swipe of a finger. These students are able to

explore and create anything that technology has to offer through education. All eighth grade

students in the school I currently attend use iPads in their classrooms. Why only give iPads to

one grade level? Ever since my mom got an iPad for Christmas three years ago, I was able to

experience what it was like using an iPad myself. An iPad provides limitless resources for

everyone. The iPad's amazing potential could show other schools that technology can be used for

almost everything, especially through education. Technology can be experienced in a whole new

way. Giving a few students access to these devices is already great, but giving out even more to

others would be even better. All middle school students should be given the opportunity to use

iPads to experience a new and easy way of learning through technology for the benefits of

everyone’s learning skills.

One reason iPads are a helpful learning tool to use for middle school students is because

they provide easy access to resources and tools such as apps, online websites and documents. To

begin with, students can easily view, edit and create new documents on an app called Google

Drive. This app allows students to view different documents and powerpoints, edit documents

and powerpoints and create new documents and powerpoints. Students may also be allowed to

organize their documents in folders for each subject. With this in mind, students can be more

organized with their school work through this app. Teachers can also create different documents

for notes for students to copy on their iPads, or teach a lesson in class on a document. For

example, if a student typed a document on a computer at school and needed access to it at home,

the quickest way is to go on Google Drive and edit whatever they needed to edit. Though iPads

provide apps, they also allow students to access online websites. These websites can be used for

looking up information for assignments, or can benefit students in general. One website that can

benefit students is Quizlet. This websites allows students to play different activities and games to

help them study for an upcoming quiz or test, and can enhance their study habits, such as using

flashcards to study vocabulary words or terms to know. If a student were to go home to study for

a quiz or test, their teacher could put up the quizlet site for them to visit to help them study, and

they could access the website Quizlet through their iPad. Another website that is very helpful for

students is Quia. This website is used by many middle school teachers to help them put up

upcoming assignments and important due dates. The website also allows students to access

homework assignments and helpful links to other websites as well. However, iPads can do even

more. They can also allow students to view any other documents or slideshows on a teacher’s

website or computer. If a student in a class needed to take notes on an English assignment, the

teacher could just go to his or her website to open up the document or slideshow for the students

to view and copy down the notes on their iPads being displayed. These documents could help a

student improve their learning skills through the easiest tasks at home or even at school. With

iPads being used in classrooms as a helpful learning tool, students can experience and explore

through the easiest ways of accessing resources and tools.

Allowing students to have access to iPads will also be good for the environment, reduce

the amount of weight on student's backs, and could keep students more organized. Each day in

classrooms, students use a lot of paper for homework assignments and worksheets. iPads can

eliminate the amount of papers being used daily. Instead of writing on paper, students can enter

all of their assignments in their iPad. On iPads, there is no need to write a hard copy of

something or erase physically. If a student ever made a mistake, they could simply delete it and

could restyle whatever they need to type. iPads could also replace all school supplies as well.

Each day, some students may forget to bring a pencil or an eraser with them to class and might

ask their teachers to borrow one. With iPads, pencils and erasers would not have to be used. In

addition, students sometimes even lose or forget their homework at home. However, this

problem could be solved easily. iPads allow students to type up notes in documents and view

them all on one device. With everything saved on one device, students won’t have to worry

about losing their assignments. Moreover, textbooks are really heavy to carry around everyday,

adding on extra weight on a student’s back. iPads could replace all of the extra weight of a

textbook. iPads would provide mobility and flexibility for students in school and at home. iPads

are much lighter in weight compared with textbooks and are smaller in size. Students have more

than one textbook as well; math textbooks, social studies textbooks and science textbooks. With

students using iPads, all school supplies could be replaced and could benefit students using them,

and the environment.

Some may argue that iPads would just create a distraction for students instead of

benefitting them. It is true that iPads can easily make people distracted because of its features

such as music, games, videos and camera. Yes, these temptations to use the iPad in a different

manner could harm a student's education, but there are also many ways that these type of

problems could be solved. In a classroom, a teacher would definitely create a set of rules to let

the students know the guidelines and expectations of them while using the iPads. Consequences

and punishments of misusing the iPads could be set up, such as 'if a student goes on a prohibited

website without a teacher's permission, their parents would be notified about their son or

daughter breaking the rules', or 'no inappropriate behavior around the iPads.' Though some rules

may be broken from time to time, there would be slim chances of people breaking the rules if

there were rules and consequences. Other distractions could also be caused even without using

iPads. A gaze out of the window or doodling on desks are all caused by students who are not

engaged in the lessons being taught in class. Students also get tempted to talk with their friends

or anyone who is sitting around them. With iPads, there would be none of these distractions for

students and they would be more engaged in learning. Not only would they be engaged, but they

would actually listen to the teacher and would be paying more attention in class. They would

also not be tempted to talk as much with the people around them while the teacher is talking

since they are so focused on working on their iPads. Today, iPads are a form a technology which

gets people attention with their advanced features of allowing people to explore online and on

apps. Using the iPad in a positive manner in school would still catch a student's attention. Letting

students have access to iPads will encourage them to learn more because it is a fun way of

learning for students. iPads are easy to navigate with their touch screens, and students will not

have to write everything out physically. Though there are some drawbacks of allowing students

to use iPads in school, these drawbacks could be overcome by creating rules in classrooms and at

home.

In conclusion, giving students the opportunity to experience a new way of learning

through technology will benefit everyone's learning skills. iPads will create easy ways of

accessing tools and resources and will motivate students despite the distractions that they might

cause for some students. While there are adjustments to be made while using the iPads, the iPads

will make learning much easier and will motivate students to learn. Some schools are creating

iPad pilot programs to experience the new efficient ways of learning through technology. Every

school administration and district must work together to be able to put an iPad in a student's

hand. Every school that chooses not to use iPads would experience the negatives of not allowing

iPads in school. The teachers would see their students constantly looking up at the clock, being

bored all the time and almost dozing off. However, iPads make school life easier for students and

teachers with their advanced features such as apps. The new efficient way of learning through

technology all comes from a device that is smaller than a regular­sized binder. The new future of

education starts with just a click of a power button and the students are off on their way,

exploring the interminable possibilities that technology can provide for education.

1. Excellent work with this essay. Your writing is clear, and you provide good points to support

your argument.

2. While it is not a required technique, I would like to see you try to include an anecdote or two

to help show your point of view. Using this technique will vary your argument for your reader.

3. Nice job editing this essay, there are few mistakes in spelling and grammar.

Craig sprinted around a corner almost knocking over an older man. He was only 15 and

yet he was lost in the biggest city in the United States of America. Craig and his father were

there for the annual New Years Eve party and ball drop, and were staying at his grandmother’s

apartment. Craig had become separated from his father in the large crowd hovering around

Times Square and had not a clue to where he might be now. After an hour of being lost in the

frigid, cold, soggy December air, after frustration more than anything, Craig thrust his hand into

his sweatshirt where his surprised fingers closed around his brand new Verizon phone. He was

able to contact his dad and was reunited with him the same instant the brilliant, colorful, and

breathtaking ball descended from the sky. If Craig had not had his phone, he might have been out

there for who knows how long. Many middle school students like Craig do have access to a cell

phone, I myself have one and know the conveniences that can come with being able to

communicate to my friends and family. At least once a day it makes the lives of middle school

students easier with its easy communication and modern day technology. Many middle school

students can benefit both socially and academically from their own cell phones.

Not only can a cell phone be helpful in an emergency, it is also very beneficial to middle

school students in everyday life. Cell phones not only let people connect socially, but

academically too. I had forgotten my math homework at school one day so I texted one of the

people in my math class and was able to obtain a copy of the homework. I was then able to do it

and avoided the situation of explaining my flaw to my teacher. If my phone had not been there I

would have had more homework to do the next night, and could have possibly gotten a detention.

While school is a larger part of a middle school students life, many people also participate in a

type of practice, sports, or after school activity. Fairly recently my basketball practice ended half

an hour early because a men’s volleyball league claimed that they had booked the gym, so I was

stranded at the school without a ride. Since I always take my phone to practices, I was able to

call my parents and arrange a carpool home with one of my friends. Also,,on January 2nd, our

area was hit with a snowstorm, causing all after school activities to be canceled. I had Student

Council that afternoon , which was canceled, so I called to let my mom know and that I was

coming home on the bus that day. If I had not, she would have been waiting outside for a long

time for me to come out. which would never happen because I had went on the bus. Not only can

cell phones be used in an extreme or dangerous case, it is very helpful in normal, everyday life.

Having a cell phone can help a middle school student to develop independence in their

daily lives. For example, an extra help session. I got a bad grade on my test. instead of going

home on the bus, telling my mom, and having her email the teacher about me maybe going to

extra help I could take matters into my own hands and send a text to my mom saying “I did not

do so well on my test, is it ok if I stay for some extra help and quiz corrections?” Then when I

was done she was able to give a ride home because of the easy communication of a cell phone.

Another way a cell phone can help is making plans with friends. In the third grade whenever I

wanted to have a friend over I would go up to my mom and say, “Can I please have Gary over

Mom?” and she would email Gary’s mother and set it all up for a Tuesday afternoon. Now that I

have my own cell phone it is possible for me to make plans with my friends on my own, with

just a day and a time from my mom. Independence is an important part of a middle schoolers’

life. Middle school students are going to be going off to high school soon and pretty quick after

that college. It is very important that middle school students learn independence sooner rather

than later because it is going to be harder to learn it when they are older after learning that they

can have our parents handle everything for the first 15 years of our life. Having a cell phone can

help us to develop independence to help now, and later on in life.

Some people may argue that cell phones are too expensive and will get broken if they get

one for their middle school student. Many parents state that the latest Iphones that their kids want

are too expensive or it is too much responsibility for their middle school students. Or even that if

they got their son or daughter an Iphone, they would become addicted to it, and not be as active

as they were when they did not have an Iphone. One way to avoid those situations is to buy a

simple call and text phone. They work just as well as Iphones but do not have the same

extremely high price tag. The simple cell phones do not have all the games and internet, lowering

the price of one, and the chance of becoming addicted to the phone. While there are some

negatives about the Iphone, there are many ways to overcome them. Turning on Parental

Controls or limiting the amount of time a person spends on the Iphone can help to stay active and

avoid addiction. Even though there are some negatives about the Iphone, there are many ways to

overcome them.

In conclusion, a cell phone can benefit middle school students in everyday life by being

a good recourse because of it’s good communication. Cell phones create a reliable way of

communication for both academic and social reasons. They can help to keep people safe (like

Craig) and will help middle school students. One final story to illustrate my point is about

Prunella. Prunella Doitrite had done something wrong. Her uncle was coming over to stay at her

house for the day, and she was very anxious to see him. As soon as the final bell rang, Prunella

was sprinting down the hallway as Usain Bolt would sprint towards the finish line. She raced to

her locker, threw all her stuff in her backpack and broke the sound barrier getting out of school.

Young Prunella was on the bus when she realized her mistake: her spanish homework was laying

on the silent and dark foreign language room floor, forgotten. She whipped out her sparkly pink

phone and called her best friend, Tiffany Pablo. Shortly after, Tiff and her mother, Denise Pablo,

rolled up in their 2002 Toyota Rav4 with a fresh copy of the spanish homework. In many cases,

like Craig and Prunella, a cell phone can be very helpful in life and grade threatening

emergencies. To wrap things up, a middle school student can benefit from a cell phone

academically and socially as an easy to use, reliable form of communication.

1. This is a well­written essay that provides good supporting evidence for each of your

points.

2. Overall, you did a nice job editing this assignment. There are very few spelling and

grammar mistakes, and you made some nice changes to your hook.

3. Look over the phrases that are similar to using "I" language that need to be replaced.