Annoying in Lift

8/3/2019 Annoying in Lift

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hi lauren!

i got ur emaiL! here is the list ofannoying things to do in an

elavator!

u asked 4 it!!!!

Act like a dog, growl at people.Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a

more suitable host body.”Apply dripping red paint around the edge ofthe roof hatch. When someone enters, lookupwards and whisper "I think they want in..."

Ask each passenger getting on if you canpush the button for them. Press the wrongones.Ask everyone what they made for their side

dish.Ask someone to take your temperature, thenturn around and bend over.Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping

sound?”Attempt to hypnotize the other passengers.Bet the other passengers you can fit aquarter in your nose.

Blow spit balls at the ceiling.



Blow your nose and offer to show thecontents of your Kleenex to other passengers.Blow your nose on your sleeve.Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody

in the elevator.Bring a chair along.Bring easy math flash cards on the elevatorand ask the person next to you to help youstudy them (get them wrong).

Burp, and then say “mmmm...tasty!”Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.Call the psychic hotline from you cell

phone, and ask if they know what flooryou’re on.Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.Challenge people to games of hide-and-seek.Clutch your stomach and gasp.

Collapse on the floor when the elevator goesup, then get up and look embarrassed.Collect an elevator tax.Count down from 100,000 out loud.

Crack open your briefcase or purse, andwhile peering inside ask: “Got enough air inthere?”Do Tai Chi exercises.

Draw a little square on the floor with chalkand announce to the other passengers thatthis is your “personal space.”Draw a volleyball on the wall of the

elevator and insist you have been trapped inthere for 3 months. Formally introduceeveryone to the volleyball!Dress as a clergy member of the opposite sex.

Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches tohelp pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”



Eat jello through a straw.Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" thensigh and say "oops!"Give each passenger a round of applause as

they enter or leave.Give each passenger a ticket and remind themthat door prize drawing is in half an hour.Give people lectures about the periodictable of elements Give religious tracts to

each passenger.Go into extreme detail explaining how youwere trapped in an elevator once for two

days.Greet everyone getting on the elevator witha warm handshake and ask them to call youAdmiral.Greet everyone with a smile and a handshake,

then ignore them.Grimace painfully while smacking yourforehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit,all of you just shut UP!"

Guard the button panel so no one can touchit. Growl and bite at anyone’s fingers whoattept to cross you.Have a picnic in the elevator.

Have a seizure.Hold the elevator door open and say you’rewaiting for your friend. After a while, letthe doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s

your day been?”Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the elevatordescends.Hug yourself.

Hum the theme from Mission Impossible withyours eyes darting around the elevator.



Hum the theme to JeopardyIf anyone brushes against you, recoil andholler, "Bad touch!"If anyone brushes against you, whisper to

them "was it good for you too?"Introduce yourself as Ochenga-Wangaa Thegreat chief and begin telling stories ofyour native island.Jump up when the elevator reaches a stop.

Lay down a Twister mat and ask people ifthey want to play.Lean against the button panel.

Lean over to another passenger and whisper:“Noogie patrol coming!”Leave a box between the doors.Leave a box in a corner, and when someonegets on, ask if they hear something ticking.

Lick gummy bears and stick them to things(the walls, the buttons, the passengers,etc.) Listen to the elevator walls with astethoscope.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses abutton.Make farm noises.Make race car noises when anyone gets on or

off.Make sure the emergency phone is working.Meow occasionally.Move your desk in to the elevator, and

whenever someone gets on, ask if they havean appointment.Mumble autistically about the possibilitiesof elevator accidents.

Offer a bite of your fresh tangerine toeveryone coming on board.



Offer hitman services.Offer name tags to everyone getting on theelevator. Wear yours upside-down.On a long ride, sway side to side at the

natural frequency of the elevator.On the highest floor, hold the door open anddemand that it stay open until you hear thepenny you dropped down the shaft go “plink”at the bottom.

Open a lemonade stand.Perform the Hamlet soliloquy. When a newpassenger enters, start over again.

Pick your nose.Place police tape (CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS)on the inside of the doors.Play dead.Play patty--cake with the door.

Play the harmonica.Pour water on the front of your trousers, soit looks like you have wet yourself, telleveryone who comes in to the elevator, that

you had a little accident.Pray to Budda.Preach about the end of the world.Pretend to be dead and lie on the elevator

floor.Pretend you’re a flight attendant and reviewemergency procedures and exits with thepassengers Pull your gum out of your mouth

in long strings.Push the buttons and pretend they give you ashock.Read a book upside down.

Recite poetry in monotone.Request for people to watch you Riverdance.



Say "Ding!" at each floor.Say "I wonder what all these do" and pushthe red buttons.Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER

written on it, “I wonder why this was gluedon the door when I came in.”Scratch yourself.Scribble furiously on a notepad whilelooking at each passenger. When they try to

look, hide the pad.Sell Girl Scout cookies.Shadow box.

Shave.Show other passengers a wound and ask if itlooks infected.Sing “Mary had a little lamb” whilecontinually pushing buttons.

Sing: "I know a song that gets oneverybody's nerve's, everybody's nerves,everybody's nerves, i know a song that getson everybody's nerves and it goes like

this!" to the tune of "camp townlady".....pause.....repeat....continually.Stand really close to someone, sniffing themoccasionally.

Stand silent and motionless in the corner,facing the wall, without getting off.Stare at another passenger for a while, thenannounce “You’re one of THEM!”

and move to the far corner of the elevator.Stare at your thumb and say, "I think it'sgetting larger."Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a

while, and then announce “I’ve got new sockson!”



Start a sing-along.Start reciting "Green Eggs and Ham" and askpeople what comes next.Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another

passenger: “Wanna see wha in muh mouf?”Tap dance.Tell everyone about the hidden rooftoppenthouse belonging to the mob.Tell everyone about your love life.

Tell people you can see their aura.Tell the passengers not to worry. The bombwon't go off for at least another two

minutes.Throw a party in the vator!Try to purchase an article of clothing fromthe person next to you.Untie one shoe, then tie the other. Repeat.

Walk in circles. Change directions when youhit a passenger.Walk on with a cooler that says “human head”on the side.

Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzingaround your head.Wear “X-Ray Specs” and leer suggestively atother passengers.

Wear a basketball jersey. Show everyone yourarmpit. Works best if you get a good workoutand don't use deodorant.Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other

passengers "through" it.Wear a Santa suit...in June.Wear a ski mask and carry an axe.Wear complete SCUBA gear, then offer your

buddy hose to the other passengers When the



elevator doors close, bang on them,screaming let me out!When arriving at your floor, grunt andstrain to yank the doors open, then act

embarrassed when they open by themselves.When at least 8 people have boarded, moanfrom the back: “Oh, not now...motion sickness!”When the elevator doors close, announce to

the others, “It’s okay, don’t panic, they’llopen again.”When the doors close pretend you arm got

caught in it.When the doors open, pretend you did it withyour mind.When the elevator is silent, look around andask, "Is that your beeper?"

When the elevator reaches anotherpassenger’s floor, scream and collapse infront of the door.When there’s only one other person on the

elevator, tap them on the shoulder andpretend it wasn’t you.While the doors are opening, hurriedlywhisper, “hide it...quick!” then whistle

innocently.Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s aSmall World” incessantly.

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Annoying in Lift

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