Anger Management Violence Prevention: Course Facilitation ... · Anger Management & Violence...
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AngerManagement&ViolencePrevention:CourseFacilitationGuide
UnderstandingAnger
Overview:Tounderstandwhatangerisanddispelmyths.GroundRules:Thisclassisforyou!Youwillgetoutofitwhatyouputintoit.Youhavetherightto“pass”onanyactivity/groupdiscussionthatyoudonotfeelcomfortableparticipatingin.
1) Respect:Noverbalorphysicalabuse,nosexist,ageist,racistlanguageorbehaviorisacceptable.
2) Space:Peopleshouldhavetimeandspacetosaywhattheyneedto,thatmeansnointerrupting,shouting,andremainconsciousofhowlongyouhavebeenspeakingtoensurethateveryoneinthegroupgetstheopportunitytospeak.
3) Care:Personalandsensitivetopicsmaysurfaceinthisclass;besensitiveto
theneedsofothermembersofthegroup.Listenquietly,beencouragingandpositive,andtrytoframecriticalremarksconstructively.
4) Confidentiality:Thisspaceshouldbea“safespace.”Everythingsaidinthisclasswillstayinthisclass.
Arethereany“GroundRules”mentionedabovethattheclasswouldliketoadd?DiscussionTopic:
1) Brieflydiscussatimewhenyoubecameangryandifyouexperienceguiltandregretafterthemomentpassed.
HandoutPacket:UnderstandingAngerManagementandViolencePrevention
MythsofAnger
KeyAngerPayoffs
YourangerPayoffsWorksheet
AngerLog
WEEK1:UnderstandingAngerManagementandViolencePreventionHandout
AngerOverview:Formostpeople,chronicangercoversincrediblepain.Andwhileangeroftenfeelslikeareleaseatthemoment,itinevitablymakestheunderlyingpainworse.Ofthosepeoplewhosufferedthegreatestdamageinchildhood,mostwereharmedbyrepeatedexposuretoanger.Themajorityofchronicallyangrypeoplewerealsodamagedbyangeraschildren.Peoplestrugglingwithchronicangersufferlong‐termconsequencesinbothworkandpersonalrelationships.Theytendtofeelmorealone,moredisappointedbylife,andlessnourishedbytheirrelationships.Thegreatestpredictorofsatisfactioninmarriageishowpeoplelearntohandleconflictandanger.Angerisalearnedresponse,andtheangerresponsecanbeunlearnedwithcommitmentandeffort.MythsofAnger:Angerisabiochemicallydeterminedevent‐FALSE!!!Beliefthatangerisaresultofhormonalchangesofactivityinthelimbicsystem.Researchshowsthathormonesdonotbecometheangerhormone.Stimulationinthelimbicsystemdoesnotelicitaggressionunlessitislearned.AngerandAggressionareInstinctualtoMan‐FALSE!!!Humansareendowedwithabasicinstinctforaggression;however,itisscientificallyincorrecttostatethathumanslearnedwarfromanimalancestorsandthatviolentbehaviorsaregeneticallyprogrammedintoourhumannature.Itisalsosimplyincorrecttosaythathumanevolutionhasledtoviolenceasstatuswithinsocietyisachievedthroughcooperation!!FrustrationleadstoAggression‐FALSE!!!Frustrationcanonlyoccurwhenyouhaveanexpectationthatisnotfulfilled,disappointmentrequirescognitionsthatincludememoryandimagination.Apersonwhoisfrustratedwillnotactaggressivelyunlessthesettingisperceivedappropriate.Key“AngerPayoffs”:
‐AngerReducesStress:Manypeoplefindthattheyfeelrelaxedandasthoughalargeweighthasbeenliftedafterablow‐up.Theseeffectsarebriefastensionsoonreturnsandstudiesshowthatangercreatesmoreanger.Angerasameanstoreducestressoftenonlyincreasesoccurrenceandstrengthofoutburstsandmakesthemhardertocontrol.
‐AngerHidesEmotionalPain:Angerisoftenusedasadefenseagainstfear,lossguiltshameandfeelingsofrejectionorfailure.Onceagaintheshort‐termpayoffhaslong‐termconsequences.Usingangertodefendagainstfeelingsmakesthosefeelingsgetworseovertimeandangerresponsesbecomehabitualandhardertocontrol.‐AngerGetsyourAttention:Angerdoesgetpeople’sattention.Yetagain,theimmediatepayoffshavelong‐termconsequences.Mostpeopledonotrespondtoangerwithattentivelistening,theygetimmediatelydefensiveandtuneyouout.Theystartavoidingyouortheybegintoresentyouandholditagainstyou.Also,overtimepeoplewhorespondedinitiallygethardenedovertimeandstopbeingalarmedbyyourangerandstartbeingdisgustedbyit.
‐Angerhelpsyouchangeothers:Peoplesometimesgiveyouwhatyouwantafterandangeroutburst;yet,inthelongruntheyturnoffandturnawayfromyou.Theyresentbeingcontrolledbyfear.Usingangertochangeothersleavesyoufeelhelpless.Youfeelpowerlesstoovercometheproblemyourselfandallyounowhowtodoistrytocoercetheotherpersonintocorrectiveaction.Byplacingresponsibilitytochangeapainfulsituationoutsideyourselfyouareleavingothersinchargeofyourpainandyourlife.
WhatareYourAngerPayoffs?Inthisexerciseidentifywhichangerpayoffsinfluenceyou.Foreachangerpayofflistedbelow,doamentalinventoryofrelationshipsandsituationsinyourlife(angerwithfamily,friends,kids,coworkers,boss,roadanger,angeragainstobjectsetc.)Seeifthatpayoffisinanywayinfluencingorreinforcingyouranger.Ifso,selectatypicalexampleandwriteitinthespaceprovided.1.ReduceStress‐Usingangertodischargestress:______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2.HideEmotionalPain‐Usingangertodefendagainstshame,guilt,depression,etc.:______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________3.GetAttention‐Usingangersopeoplewilllistentoyou:______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________4.Punishmentandrevenge‐Usingangertomakepeoplefeelasmuchpainasyoudo______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
5.Changethebehaviorofothers–Usingangertocoercepeopletodowhatyouwant______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
AngerLog:TheAngerLogisatoolthatprovidesanopportunitytolearnmoreaboutthecomponentsofyourangerresponse.Thelogisdividedintosevencolumns.ThefirstcolumnislabeledPain/Stress;thereyourecordtheemotionalandphysicalpainthatexistedbeforeyouranger.Itmightbeaheadacheoranxietyaboutyourmarriageorpressuretogetajobdone.Trytoincludehereeverystressfulorpainfulexperiencethatmaybeinfluencingyourangerresponse.Inthenextcolumn,ProvocativeSituation,notetheupsettingeventthatprecededyouranger.ThethirdcolumnisTriggerThoughts,writedownwhatyouwerethinkingwhilegettingangry.ThefourthcolumnisAngerRatingherewriteanumberbetween0to100thatreflectshowangryyoufelt(0wouldbenoanger100isthehighestlevelofrageyoucanimagineexperiencing).ThefifthcolumnisBehavior,hererecordwhatyouactuallydidinresponsetoyouranger(didyoucurse,yell,hit,throw?).Thelasttwocolumnsareentitlesoutcome.Herenotetheeffectofyourangeronyourselfandothers.Ratetheimpactfrom‐10to+10intermsofhowyoufeltandwhathappenedtoyousubsequenttoyouranger.Writeabriefdescriptionoftheemotionalandobjectiveconsequencesofyouranger.Nextgothroughthesameprocessintermofhowyourangermayhaveimpactedothersandrateinonthesame‐10to+10scale.
AngerManagement&ViolencePrevention:
CourseFacilitationGuide
CostsofAnger
Overview:ToassessthecostsofyourangerGroundRules:Thisclassisforyou!Youwillgetoutofitwhatyouputintoit.Youhavetherightto“pass”onanyactivity/groupdiscussionthatyoudonotfeelcomfortableparticipatingin.
1) Respect:Noverbalorphysicalabuse,nosexist,ageist,racistlanguageorbehaviorisacceptable.
2) Space:Peopleshouldhavetimeandspacetosaywhattheyneedto,thatmeansnointerrupting,shouting,andremainconsciousofhowlongyouhavebeenspeakingtoensurethateveryoneinthegroupgetstheopportunitytospeak.
3) Care:Personalandsensitivetopicsmaysurfaceinthisclass;besensitiveto
theneedsofothermembersofthegroup.Listenquietly,beencouragingandpositive,andtrytoframecriticalremarksconstructively.
4) Confidentiality:Thisspaceshouldbea“safespace.”Everythingsaidinthisclasswillstayinthisclass.
Arethereany“GroundRules”mentionedabovethattheclasswouldliketoadd?
HandoutPacket:CostsofAnger
AngerOverview
CostsofAnger
Understandingthelinksthatmake‐uptheChainofAnger
ChainofAngerEvents:Normalvs.ProblemAnger
TheStressResponse
PersonalCostsofAngerWorksheetandshortdiscussionofresults
TheBodyScan
WEEK2:AngerManagementandViolencePreventionCostsofAngerHandout
AngerOverview:Thereisnothingwrongwithoccasional,moderateanger.Itcreatesnolastingharm.Butchronic,sustainedangercanbeaseriousproblem.Bykeelingthebodyinaconstantstateofemergency,chronicangercancontributetohypertension,heartdisease,digestivedisorders,rashes,headaches,andsusceptibilitytoinfectionsandincreasedmortalityfromallcauses.Angercantakeatollonrelationships,cancausedefensestoberaised,lossofyoursenseofwell‐being,andultimatelymayleadtoisolation.CostsofAnger:
‐ YourHealth:Chronicangercanincreaseriskforhealthproblems.Howoftenangerisexperiencedandhowitisexpressedduringperiodsofemotionaldistressaresignificantfactorsdeterminingtheimpactonone’shealth.Constantchronicanger,hostility,andaggressionraiseyourriskofdevelopingvariousdeadlyformsofheartdiseasebyasmuchasfivetimesthenormalrate.
‐ YourSelf‐Esteem:Althoughexpressionofangermayfeelgoodatthemoment,itoftenleadstofeelingsofguilt,shame,embarrassmentandremorse.Onemightrealizethathisorherresponsewasoverblown,misdirectedand/orunwarranted,theresult,inmostcases,isdamagetoone’sself‐esteem.
‐ YourRelationships:Veryfewthingscandamagearelationshipasmuchastheinabilitytomanageone’sanger.Frequentand/orintenseoutbursts,whetherverbalorphysicalcandestroymarriages,breakapartfamiliesandruinfriendships.
‐ Children:Theeffectonchildrenofwitnessingchronicand/orintenseangerinthehouseholdcanbedevastating,oftenmoresothantheimpactofparentaldivorce.
‐ TheWorkplace:Whatgetsaccomplishedintheworkplacecanbeseverelycompromisedbypoorlymanagedanger,frustration,andresentment.
PRINTANDINCLUDEANGERCHAIN!!!!AssessingtheCostofAngerforYou:Usingtheworksheetonthenextpage,makeanhonestassessmentofallthewaysinwhichangerhashadanegativeimpactonyourlife.PRINTPAGE13AND14!!!!!!!!
AngerManagement&ViolencePrevention:
CourseFacilitationGuide
AngerasAChoice,TakingResponsibility
GroundRules:Thisclassisforyou!Youwillgetoutofitwhatyouputintoit.Youhavetherightto“pass”onanyactivity/groupdiscussionthatyoudonotfeelcomfortableparticipatingin.
1) Respect:Noverbalorphysicalabuse,nosexist,ageist,racistlanguageorbehaviorisacceptable.
2) Space:Peopleshouldhavetimeandspacetosaywhattheyneedto,thatmeansnointerrupting,shouting,andremainconsciousofhowlongyouhavebeenspeakingtoensurethateveryoneinthegroupgetstheopportunitytospeak.
3) Care:Personalandsensitivetopicsmaysurfaceinthisclass;besensitiveto
theneedsofothermembersofthegroup.Listenquietly,beencouragingandpositive,andtrytoframecriticalremarksconstructively.
4) Confidentiality:Thisspaceshouldbea“safespace.”Everythingsaidinthisclasswillstayinthisclass.
Arethereany“GroundRules”mentionedabovethattheclasswouldliketoadd?HandoutPacket:AngerasaChoice
AngerOverview
StepsofAnger
FactorsinfluencingChoice
PersonalResponsibility
AssumptionsandInterpretations
TriggerThoughts
Exercise:DissectingyourTriggerThoughts
SixStepstoResponsibility
AlternativeStress‐ReductionStrategies:ExerciseandStress,
NutritionandStress’’
DiscussionItem(iftime):Whatisyourpositiveoutletforstressandhowdoyou/couldyouconstructivelyoutletfeelings?Ex.Painting/drawing,writing,spendingalonetime,working,etc.
WEEK3:AngerManagementandViolencePreventionAngerasaChoiceHandout
AngerOverview:Thefunctionofangeristostopstress(painfulaffect,painfulsensation,frustratedderive,andthreat).Therearemanywaystodischargethehighlevelsofstressotherthananger;somecanbehealthierandlessdestructive.Therearethreefactorsinfluencingthechoiceofanystressreductionstrategy;physiologicalpredisposition,instrumentalconditioning,andsociallearningStepsofAnger:
‐ Awarenessofstressleadstoacopingdecision:TriggerThought
‐ Focusoneitherblamingor“shouldhaves”:Divertresponsibility,blamesomeone/somethingforyouranger
FactorsinfluencingChoiceofAnger:‐PhysiologicalPredisposition:Bornwithasetofconstitutionaltendenciesthatmakesomeresponseseasier/morerewardingthanothers‐InstrumentalConditioning:Asachildcertainbehaviorswerereinforcedwhileotherswerediscouraged‐SocialLearning:Skillsandbehaviorsthatyouacquiredthroughmodeling(parents,siblings,peers)PersonalResponsibility:
1) Youareresponsiblefortheoutcomeofallinteractions
2) Ifonestrategydoesn’tworktomeetyourneedsorsolveaproblem,thereisabsolutelynopointinblaming
3) Theappropriatequestionisnot“who’sresponsibleformypain?”but“WhatcanIdoaboutit”
4) Youcantexpectotherpeopletochangeortobedifferent
5) Allrelationshipscomedowntotwobasicchoices,adaptorletgo
6) Youareneveravictim
TriggerThoughts:‐Perceptionthatyou’vebeenharmedandvictimized‐Beliefthattheprovokingpersonharmedyoudeliberately‐Thebeliefthattheprovokingpersonwaswrongandshouldhavebehaveddifferently“Trigger”eventscanbethingslikeatrafficjam,orthegarbagetruckbeepingintheearlymorning,orthewordspeoplesay,soundspeoplemake(sighing,groaning),armorhandgesture,voicetone,andfacialexpressions.Thesesituationsmaybe“dropsinthebucket”onsomedays,andonotherdaysmayigniteanger.Triggersarethosesituationsthat“push”ourbuttons.TriggerThoughtsarehowwePERCIEVE,INTERPRET,orGIVEMEANINGtosituations.Weevaluatethesituationwithourselvesinmindandassigncauseorblame,wefeelthatsomethingisunfairandthatothersarepurposelymakinglifemiserableforus.Examples:“It’sastupidwaytooperateacar,Ihavetoldyouahundredtimes‐youdon’tkeepridingthebrakesbecauseitwearsthemout.”Harm:Costofabrakejob;notbeinglistenedtoDoneDeliberately:ImplicationthatiftheprovokingpersonthoughtalittlemoreormadeareasonableeffortheorshecouldremembertousethebrakesproperlyWrong:ImpliesthatridingthebrakesIpoordrivingtechniqueandnotheedingappropriatewarningiseitherlazyorcareless.“HowcouldhetellthemaboutlosingmyjobbeforeIdid?Itslikehe’stryingtohumiliateme”Harm:HumiliatedDoneDeliberately:TheprovokingpersonchosetorevealconfidentialinformationWrong:Impliesthatit’swrongtoembarrasssomeone.
Exercise:DissectingyourTriggerThoughtsTaketwotriggerthoughtsforyouandidentifykeyelementsTriggerThought1:__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Harm(fear,harm,orpainthesituationincited):DoneDeliberately(interpretationofotherperson’sactions;blame):Wrong(Implication/message):TriggerThought2:__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Harm:DoneDeliberately:Wrong:
SixStepstoResponsibility:
1) Developmoreeffectivestrategiesforreinforcingothers2) Takecareoftheneedyourself3) Developnewsourcesofsupport,nourishment,andappreciation4) SetLimits5) NegotiateAssertively6) LetGo!!
AlternativeStress‐ReductionStrategies:TherearemanywaystodischargehighlevelsofstressbesidesangerCryingExercisingIntenseworkActivityHumorWritingRelaxationExercisesVerbalizingPainRecreationSexProblem‐SolvingCommunicationMusic
WEEK4:AngerManagement&ViolencePrevention:
CourseFacilitationGuide
CreatingCopingThoughts
GroundRules:Thisclassisforyou!Youwillgetoutofitwhatyouputintoit.Youhavetherightto“pass”onanyactivity/groupdiscussionthatyoudonotfeelcomfortableparticipatingin.
1) Respect:Noverbalorphysicalabuse,nosexist,ageist,racistlanguageorbehaviorisacceptable.
2) Space:Peopleshouldhavetimeandspacetosaywhattheyneedto,thatmeansnointerrupting,shouting,andremainconsciousofhowlongyouhavebeenspeakingtoensurethateveryoneinthegroupgetstheopportunitytospeak.
3) Care:Personalandsensitivetopicsmaysurfaceinthisclass;besensitiveto
theneedsofothermembersofthegroup.Listenquietly,beencouragingandpositive,andtrytoframecriticalremarksconstructively.
4) Confidentiality:Thisspaceshouldbea“safespace.”Everythingsaidinthisclasswillstayinthisclass.
Arethereany“GroundRules”mentionedabovethattheclasswouldliketoadd?HandoutPacket:CreatingCopingThoughts
AngerOverview
CopingThoughts
Exercise:CreatingaCopingPlan
WhenyouareJustTooAngry
TriggerThoughtsandCopingResponse
CreatingCopingThoughts‐Worksheet
WEEK4:AngerManagementandViolencePreventionCopingThoughtsHandout
AngerOverview:Thefunctionofangeristostopstress(painfulaffect,painfulsensation,frustratedderive,andthreat).Therearemanywaystodischargethehighlevelsofstressotherthananger;somecanbehealthierandlessdestructive.Therearethreefactorsinfluencingthechoiceofanystressreductionstrategy;physiologicalpredisposition,instrumentalconditioning,andsociallearning.Lastweekwelearnedabout“triggerthoughts.”(Triggersarethosesituationsthat“push”ourbuttons.TriggerThoughtsarehowwePERCIEVE,INTERPRET,orGIVEMEANINGtosituations.Weevaluatethesituationwithourselvesinmindandassigncauseorblame,wefeelthatsomethingisunfairandthatothersarepurposelymakinglifemiserableforus).ThisweekwewilllearnhowtocreateCopingthoughtstohelpcontrolanger.CopingThoughts:
‐ TakeadeepbreathandRelax
‐ Gettingupsetwonthelp
‐ JustaslongasIkeepmycoolImincontrol
‐ Easydoesit‐thereisnothingtobegainedingettingmad
‐ Imnotgoingtolethim/hergettome
‐ Icantchangehim/herwithanger;Illjustupsetmyself
‐ IcanfindawaytosaywhatIwanttowithoutanger
‐ Stayclam‐nosarcasm,noattacks
‐ Icanstaycalmandrelaxed
‐ Relaxandletgo.There’snoneedtogetmyknickersinatwist
‐ Nooneisright,nooneiswrong.Wejusthavedifferentneeds
‐ Staycool,makenojudgments
‐ Nomatterwhatissaid,IknowImagoodperson
‐ Illstayrational‐angerwontsolveanything
‐ Letthemlookallfoolishandupset.Icanstaycoolandcalm.His/heropinion
isn’timportantIwontbepushedintolosingmycool
‐ Bottomline,Imincontrol.Imoutofhereratherthansayordosomething
dumb.
‐ Takeatime‐out.Cooloff,thencomebackanddealwithit
‐ Somesituationsdon’thavegoodsolutions.Lookslikethisisoneofthem.No
usegettingallbentoutofshapeaboutit
‐ Breakitdown.Angeroftencomesfromlumpingthingstogether.
‐ Angermeansitstimetorelaxandcope
‐ Igotangry,butkeptthelidonsayingdumbthings,thatisprogress
‐ ItsjustaHassle,nothingmore,nothingless.Icancopewithhassles.
‐ Icanmanagethis,IminControl
‐ IcantexpectpeopletoactthewayIwantthemto
‐ Idon’thavetotakethissoseriously
Exercise:CreatingaCopingPlan:Planacopingresponseforoneanger‐provokingsituationthat’slikelytooccurinthenextweek.Startbyidentifyingthesituation,includingenoughdetailssoyou’reclearabouttheexactsetofcircumstancesthatyou’replanningfor.Thenidentifyoneormorecuestoremindyouofyourcopingthoughtsandplan.Under,“whentocope”writedownthebehavioralredflagsthattellyouit’stimetodealwithyouranger.Thiscouldbecriticizingorpointingyourfingerorlaughingsarcastically,theredflagshouldbespecific.Under“HowtoCope”writethespecificcopingthoughtsyouplantouseandanyactionsyouwanttotaketokeepyourangerfromescalating.
1) Situation:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2) CuestoCope:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3) WhentoCope:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
4) HowtoCope:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
WhenyouareJustTooAngry:Attimescopingthoughtscanbedifficultinsituationsofprolongedanger.Trytoidentifyanddissectyourtriggerthoughtstostimulatecopingthoughts.TriggerThoughtsandCopingResponse:
‐ Magnifying/Catastrophizing:Thoughtssuchas“Thisistheendofmylife!!”or“Iwillnevergetanotherjobagain!”CopingResponse:Berealisticallynegative(itsdisappointingorfrustratingnotterribleorawful),Ask,“Howbadisitreally?”thenanswerhonestly.Useveryaccuratelanguage.Lookatthewholepicture.Trytofindevidencethattheoppositeisalsotrue.
‐ Overgeneralization:Thoughtssuchas“Youalwaysdothis!”CopingResponse:Avoidtermslike“always,”“all,”and“every”.Usespecificandaccuratedescriptions.Lookforexceptionstotherule.Recallhowpeoplesometimesactcontrarytotheirtendencies.
‐ Demanding/Commanding:Thoughtsthattrytocorrectorchangethebehaviorofanother.CopingResponse:Peoplerarelydowhattheyshoulddo,onlywhattheyneedorwanttodo.Staywithyourwants,desires,andpreferences‐not“shouldhave”thoughts.Think“Iprefer”not“Yououghtto.”
‐ Misattribution/SingleExplanation:Thoughtsofassumptionofmotivesof
behavior.CopingResponse:Checkoutyourassumptionsaboutotherpeople’smotives.Findalternativeexplanationsfortheproblembehavior
‐ Blaming:Thoughtsthattheprovokingpersonisatfault/wrongandistrying
tohurtyou.CopingResponse:Makeacopingplantosolvetheproblemyourself.Recognizethatpeoplearemostlydoingthebesttheycan‐whattheythinkwillbestmeettheirneeds.
AngerManagement&ViolencePrevention:
CourseFacilitationGuide
RelaxationSkillsGroundRules:Thisclassisforyou!Youwillgetoutofitwhatyouputintoit.Youhavetherightto“pass”onanyactivity/groupdiscussionthatyoudonotfeelcomfortableparticipatingin.
1) Respect:Noverbalorphysicalabuse,nosexist,ageist,racistlanguageorbehaviorisacceptable.
2) Space:Peopleshouldhavetimeandspacetosaywhattheyneedto,thatmeansnointerrupting,shouting,andremainconsciousofhowlongyouhavebeenspeakingtoensurethateveryoneinthegroupgetstheopportunitytospeak.
3) Care:Personalandsensitivetopicsmaysurfaceinthisclass;besensitiveto
theneedsofothermembersofthegroup.Listenquietly,beencouragingandpositive,andtrytoframecriticalremarksconstructively.
4) Confidentiality:Thisspaceshouldbea“safespace.”Everythingsaidinthisclasswillstayinthisclass.
Arethereany“GroundRules”mentionedabovethattheclasswouldliketoadd?HandoutPacket:RelaxationSkills
AngerOverview
RelaxationTraining:Readoutloudthescriptbelowwhiletheclassfollowsyourdirections
PersonalRelaxationScene,Worksheet
Discussion:Howdidthisexercisemakeyoufeel?Didyouhaveahardtimeimaginingapositiveoutcome?Wereyousurprisedbyhoweasyorharditwastoimaginethisscenario?
RelaxationLog,encouragetodorelaxationexerciseathomeand
Logtheexperience
**ReadOutLoudtotheGrouptheFollowingScriptinaCalm,Slow,SoftVoice**
‐ Getinacomfortableseatedposition,closeyoureyesandgiveyourbodyachancetorelax.Allowyourselftoexperienceacomfortablefeelingofheaviness.Now,startatthebottomand,stretchingyourlegsout,pointyourtoesawayfromyourbody,notingthetensioninyourankles.Nowpointyourtoestohead,creatingtensioninyourcalves.Letyourfeetfalltothefloor,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.
‐ Nowtightenyourbuttocks(remembertightbottom)andthenyourthightsbypressingdownonyourheelsashardasyoucan.Holdthetension(fiveseconds),thenletgo,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.
‐ Takeadeepbreath,fillingupyourlungscompletely,andflexyourchest
muscles.Nowtightenyourstomachmuscles,creating,ineffect,acoatofarmor.Hold,thenexhaleandrelax.
‐ Nowarchyourback,asthoughitwereabow(rememberbowandarrow).
Avoidstrainingandkeeptherestofyourbodyasrelaxedaspossible.Noticethetensionbeginningdownatyourtailboneandmovingallthewayupyourspinetoyourneck.Holdaslongaspossible,thenslumpforward,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.
‐ Bendyourelbowsandtenseyourforearmsandbiceps.Clenchyourfistsat
thesametime.Tensethesemusclesuntiltheyfeeltaut.Then,straightenoutyourarms,shakeoutyourhands,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.
‐ Nowhunchyourshouldersandpullyourheadinlikeaturtle.Pressyouchin
againstyourchest,tighteningyourthroat.Experiencethisuncomfortablesensation,thendropyourshouldersandallowyourheadtofallforward.Now,slowlyandcarefully,rollyourheadtothesideandbackofyourneck.Reversedirectionandrollyourheadtheotherway.Takeadeepbreath,andallowyourneckandshoulderstorelax.
‐ Continuetomoveyourattentionupwardstowardyourheadandface.First,makeafrownbywrinklingupyourforeheadastightlyasyoucan.Next,scrunchupyoureyes,flareyournostrils,andclenchyourjaw.Finally,compressyoulipsintoatightO.Pillyourlipstight.Holdit,tighterandtighter.Thenrelaxandletgo.Now,takeadeepbreath,relaxyourlipsandblowoutforcefullyslowly.
‐ Nowgobackmentallyovertheentireprocedure,andfeeltherelaxationinyourfeet,ankles,calves,backandchest.Asyouletgo,moreandmore,therelaxationdeepensinyourneck,shoulders,armsandhands.Godeeperanddeeperintobeingrelaxed.Finally,feeltherelaxationextendtoyourheadandface,yourjawhanginglooseandyourlipsslightlyparted.
‐ Now,imagineasituationthatthatwouldangeryouandimaginethetrigger
thoughtsthatitwouldproduce.(pause).Thenimagine,asyourbodyjustexperienced,allthattensionleavingyourbody.Imaginebeingincontrolandconfident.(pause).Imaginemanagingthesituationconstructively.Imaginethesituationreachingapositiveoutcome.(pause).Nowfocusonthispositiveoutcome,imaginebeingcontentandrelaxedandrealizingthatyouchangedthesituationforthebetter.(pause).Nowopenyoureyes.
WEEK5:AngerManagementandViolencePreventionRelaxationSkillsHandout
AngerOverview:Learningtorelaxisanessentialelementinachievingangermanagement.Angerisatwo‐stepprocess.First,physicaltensionorstresshastoexistinthebody,thenisrequiresanger‐triggeringthoughtstocompletethepicture.Halftheangerbattlecanbewonbysimplylearningtorelaxthephysicaltensionthatdevelopsinprovocativesituations.RelaxationTraining:
‐ Getinacomfortableseatedposition,closeyoureyesandgiveyourbodyachancetorelax.Allowyourselftoexperienceacomfortablefeelingofheaviness.Now,startatthebottomand,stretchingyourlegsout,pointyourtoesawayfromyourbody,notingthetensioninyourankles.Nowpointyourtoestohead,creatingtensioninyourcalves.Letyourfeetfalltothefloor,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.
‐ Nowtightenyourbuttocks(remembertightbottom)andthenyourthightsbypressingdownonyourheelsashardasyoucan.Holdthetension(fiveseconds),thenletgo,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.
‐ Takeadeepbreath,fillingupyourlungscompletely,andflexyourchest
muscles.Nowtightenyourstomachmuscles,creating,ineffect,acoatofarmor.Hold,thenexhaleandrelax.
‐ Nowarchyourback,asthoughitwereabow(rememberbowandarrow).
Avoidstrainingandkeeptherestofyourbodyasrelaxedaspossible.Noticethetensionbeginningdownatyourtailboneandmovingallthewayupyourspinetoyourneck.Holdaslongaspossible,thenslumpforward,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.
‐ Bendyourelbowsandtenseyourforearmsandbiceps.Clenchyourfistsat
thesametime.Tensethesemusclesuntiltheyfeeltaut.Then,straightenoutyourarms,shakeoutyourhands,takeadeepbreath,andrelax.
‐ Nowhunchyourshouldersandpullyourheadinlikeaturtle.Pressyouchin
againstyourchest,tighteningyourthroat.Experiencethisuncomfortablesensation,thendropyourshouldersandallowyourheadtofallforward.Now,slowlyandcarefully,rollyourheadtothesideandbackofyourneck.Reversedirectionandrollyourheadtheotherway.Takeadeepbreath,andallowyourneckandshoulderstorelax.
‐ Continuetomoveyourattentionupwardstowardyourheadandface.First,makeafrownbywrinklingupyourforeheadastightlyasyoucan.Next,scrunchupyoureyes,flareyournostrils,andclenchyourjaw.Finally,compressyoulipsintoatightO.Pillyourlipstight.Holdit,tighterandtighter.Thenrelaxandletgo.Now,takeadeepbreath,relaxyourlipsandblowoutforcefullyslowly.
‐ Nowgobackmentallyovertheentireprocedure,andfeeltherelaxationinyourfeet,ankles,calves,backandchest.Asyouletgo,moreandmore,therelaxationdeepensinyourneck,shoulders,armsandhands.Godeeperanddeeperintobeingrelaxed.Finally,feeltherelaxationextendtoyourheadandface,yourjawhanginglooseandyourlipsslightlyparted.
‐ Now,imagineasituationthatthatwouldangeryouandimaginethetrigger
thoughtsthatitwouldproduce.(pause).Thenimagine,asyourbodyjustexperienced,allthattensionleavingyourbody.Imaginebeingincontrolandconfident.(pause).Imaginemanagingthesituationconstructively.Imaginethesituationreachingapositiveoutcome.(pause).Nowfocusonthispositiveoutcome,imaginebeingcontentandrelaxedandrealizingthatyouchangedthesituationforthebetter.(pause).Nowopenyoureyes.