First/ Sykur (High Class): opinion regarding marriage

He believes that the process of choosing partner has changed over time. In the past, parents were

responsible for choosing the partner for their son or daughter .Nowadays, the prevailing kind of

marriage is that one based on love rather than the parents’ arrangement.

He also explained the people, nowadays, tend to prefer love after marriage.

He personally prefers the parents –arranged marriage, reasoning that they are well aware about

their sons needs and what is the best for them. But he added that the partner must be given a

chance to meet and to show on the background of the family of his /her partner.

Regarding the characteristics of his partner, Sykur stated the following:

1. Parents’ choice “ I think parents decision is more better than you choose because

sometime parents they know about their children… how their behavior… you know how

person that he choose is better… so I think maybe… marriage… if parents choose for

their (parents) for their child I think it’s better than you choose”.

2. Religion first “I agree with you is religions and second one is education, and then I

think that third one is more to behavior, because the appearance is not a role if the

behavior is not quite good”

3. Education

4. Less important appearance “I think appearance is not important”.

5. Love can come after marriage “Sykur: sorry for interrupt but I think now… these day

people one likely love after marriage, rather than before marriage”

Second/ Adham (High class) his opinion:

He considered it not fair for a person to get married depending on his/ her parents’

choice .reasoning that, there are so many things can not be known only by the couples .

“when married with someone I don’t know so I feel like… it’s not… it’s not fair to me”

Regarding the characteristics of his spouse , Adham put his priorities as following :

1. Love “if I want to married, love cames first”

2. Education “must be educated … so far me education came first and then the second

thing is about to can cook or not”

3. Other skills.

Third/ Angha (Girl Middle Class)

She prefers the arranged-marriage depending on her parents’ choice. She would follow the

decision of her parents ; because she believed that they know what is the best for her.

She considered the following characteristics as priorities for her spouse :

1. To be according to her parents’ choice. “for me may be the selection from parents

good”. “To me… I don’t think so…I think … just like my parents… if they said…

you’ll marry on this time with this boy… the person is ….. Just I will follow”, for me the

parent’s arrangement is good because I know that parents are already observed that guy

will married with me, so they know that he is a good religions, good education, can…ah

guide me after married, so if what if fall in love with someone, but then this guy cannot

guide me, he just bring me into the wrong way. so

2. To be religious ; to lead her to the right way ( because she believed the duty of a

man is to lead to the family to the way of Islam). “may be the first is about religions”,

3. Has a stable job, to enable him to provide a safe shelter. “he has a fix job”, “to give

shelter and food for us”

4. Love is important, but it could come after marriage. “love, we can consider after

mirage”.

Forth /Akmal (Boy middle class):

He prefers to be in the middle of the two kinds of marriage, because he believes the

importance of giving the spouses the opportunity to choose their partner provided that

happens within the aware and approval of their parents through negotiation and

discussion; but the choice belongs to the son or the daughter of the family. “couple … they

just take the advice from the eldest only.

the most majority is the decision is made from the partner”.

He puts the following as the characteristics of his future wife:

1. In the first place, to be religious (because he believes religion can help in educating

the life partner). “for me, I would put my religion… number one”

2. Education. “and the second one I would put the education”

3. Appearance “I think appearance is not important”, “the appearance is a bonus”

4. He believes in love after marriage. “we can change educate little by little and we can

by together to improve our behavior, and may be from there we can feel the loving

feeling the romantic , when we are together and try to strong our relationship.”

Fifth / Rizal (Low class):

He believes in love before marriage and prefer the love-marriage, and put his priorities as

following :

1. To love her “… I agree with have love before mirage”

2. To be respectful

3. To be religious ( because he believes he cannot control the women if she was not

religious) “follow the religious”, “she need to know deeply about Islam, so that’s can

control her about what she need to do or what she can’t do, because, I NO always can

control her”

4. To be educated. “must be educated”.