An Introduction To the Theory and Practice of Counselling...10 All content copyright Rory Lees-Oakes...

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All content copyright Rory Lees-Oakes 2014: For more information visit www.counsellingtutor.com

An Introduction

To the Theory and Practice of Counselling

By

Rory Lees-Oakes

www.counsellingtutor.com

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A Warm Welcome

This guide is written for you, if you are taking the first steps to learning about the world of counselling, then pull up a chair as I guide you round this fascinating subject.

This guide is designed for learners undertaking level 2 or equivalent courses,

As well as the information contained in this guide, I have prepared for you a series of video lectures that are available on YouTube, and these can be accessed by typing-

http://www.youtube.com/user/CounsellingResource in to Google or write CounsellingResource in to the YouTube search bar.

If you have a smart phone of tablet, use your scanner app to scan the ‘Q’‛ code below and you will be taken straight there:

Scan me -

I hope you enjoy this guide and I wish you well on your journey in to the wonderful world of counselling and psychotherapy,

Sincerely

Rory Lees-Oakes

Counselling Tutor

Visit us @ www.counsellingtutor.com

Dont miss out Sign up for our blog post & news letter, visit the counselling cafe, chat with other students and qualified counsellors


http://www.youtube.com/user/CounsellingResource

http://www.counsellingtutor.com/

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Index

What is counselling? Page 4

Different approaches Page 9 Professional practice Page 19 Communication Page 24 Counselling skills Page 27 Learning resources 5 Notes page Page 36


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What is Counselling?

In this section we will look at;

¾ A brief history of counselling

¾ Who uses counselling skills

¾ The Difference between ‘Counselling’‛ and ‘Counselling Skills’‛


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A Brief History of Counselling

Throughout the years human beings have found comfort in sharing their problems or telling their story to others.

The old saying ‘ a problem shared is a problem halved’‛ tells us one universal human truth, that when things get difficult or we have to make decisions in our life that sometimes we need someone to listen and ‘hear ‘our story’‛ so we can get a better idea of our options.

Counselling can trace its roots back to tribal times where people would came together in a group and share their experiences, and sometimes their dreams.

As civilisation developed, religion offered a type of counselling, usually by priests who would listen and advise parishioners on their problems.(they still do )

In the 1890’‛s Sigmund Freud, a German neurologist developed a theory later to be called psychoanalysis, which allowed individuals to tell their problems to a ‘psychoanalyst’‛ an individual trained in interpreting the ‘subconscious’‛ , that part of or psyche that we are not aware of but influences what we do.

This was the beginning of ‘counselling’‛ although the actual word did not come in to everyday language until the 1960’‛s.

Counselling really took off after the Second World War, in 1950’‛s America , most of the therapies we hear about today can trace their origins back to a handful of psychologists and psychiatrists (some of whom we will look at in this guide) who developed techniques and theories, sometimes referred to as ‘Schools’‛ of therapy.

The word ‘School’‛ in terms of counselling does not mean a building or campus .it refers to how psychologists believe human beings develop their view of the world they live in and how they cope with it.

The three schools are Psychoanalytical, Behaviourist, and Humanistic which we will look at later in this guide.

There have been many developments in counselling since the 1950’‛s, lots of research has taken place which gives us a better understanding of what makes human beings think and act in certain ways, however most psychologists and counsellors would agree that we are a long way from fully understanding what makes each human being unique.


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Who uses Counselling Skills?

This is quite an interesting topic, counselling skills are really ‘the art of listening’‛ and are practised by any number of people in any number of work roles.

We naturally think of some professions where counselling skills would be useful such as , Nursing , Social work , the medical profession, Police and Ambulance service to name a few.

However the ‘art of listening’‛ can be practised by almost anybody and is, here are a few ideas.

On a recent visit to my hairdresser a woman customer sat next to me was telling her stylist the difficulties she was having in her relationship.

The stylist listened patiently, did not judge or offer advice and seemed to understand her difficulty and paid attention. Clearly the hair stylist had mastered ‘the art of listening’‛.

On a train journey the Edinburgh, I sat and listened to two strangers sat opposite having a conversation., The listener showed an non-judgmental attitude , was patient and only asked questions to clarify their understanding , consequently the second passenger spoke about a lot of personal issues to a stranger on a train, because the first passenger knew ‘the art of listening’‛

We live in a society where we are consistently ‘talked at’‛, let me ask you this question who do you prefer to be with, someone who talks to you or someone that listens to you?

Can you think of any other work roles that require counselling skills?


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The Difference between ‘Counselling’‛ and ‘Counselling Skills’‛?

This is an interesting question, as we have seen on the previous page lots of differing professions use counselling skills so what is the difference is between someone who uses counselling skills as part of their work role and a Counsellor?

A counsellor should be qualified in counselling or working toward their qualification .Clients should know that they are entering a counselling relationship and should want to be counselled.

The British Association for Counsellors and Psychotherapy one of the organisations that oversee good practice and ethics in counselling, they state :-

‘Counselling and psychotherapy is a contractual arrangement by which a practitioner meets a client, in privacy and confidence, to explore distress the client may be experiencing. This may be a difficulty; their dissatisfaction with life; or loss of a sense of direction or purpose’‛

‘Counselling and psychotherapy are always undertaken at the request of the client and no-one can properly be ’‛sent’‛ for counselling or psychotherapy. ‘

So we can see that counselling is quite different from someone just listening to you, A counsellor will contract with you, to make an agreement on time and date of the session, how many sessions, and if it is a paid service, the cost ,they will inform you about confidentiality, what they can and cannot disclose .

Counsellors should have regular supervision from a supervisor who will be able to support and develop the counsellors skills and knowledge, to that end counselling is a managed activity .

Perhaps the biggest difference between counsellors and other professionals, who use counselling skills, is that counsellors do not offer advice.

If you take a second to think, there would be some professionals who use counselling skills that you would want advice from such as doctors, teachers and hairdressers .

A counsellor believes that you have the answers within you, and together you can find them


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Who uses counselling skills?

As we you have come to understand lots of people use counselling skills.

Place a 3 in the appropriate boxes

Counsellor

Doctor Social worker Police Officer Teacher

Hairdresser Taxi Driver A friend

A listening ear

Advice

Unlimited time

Medication

Forgiveness

Contacting other professionals

Confidentiality Whatever is disclosed

A safe environment

A written or verbal contract

Friendship

Respect

Confidentiality within clearly stated boundaries

Code of ethics

Counselling Supervision

As part of the work we do in class you will be asked to tick the different boxes to show who offers what, check with your tutor to see if you are correct.


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Different Approaches to Counselling


¾ Person Centred Therapy

¾ Transactional Analysis

¾ Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy

¾ The future of Counselling


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Person–Centred Counselling. Basic Concepts

The person-centred approach to counselling belongs to the Humanistic School of Therapy and was devised by Carl Rogers an American psychologist who in the 1950s proposed a form of therapy which focussed on the clients experience of themselves, as opposed to the counsellor being an expert and telling them what to do, or what was wrong with them.

The therapy relied on the quality of the relationship between the counsellor and the client this is sometimes called a ‘way of being’‛ with the counsellor demonstrating what is known as the Core Conditions which form the basis of the relationship these are:

1 Empathy (the counsellor trying to understand the client’‛s point of view)

2 Congruence (the counsellor being a genuine person)

3 Unconditional Positive Regard (the counsellor being non judgemental)

The Core conditions when shown by the counsellor to the client will, according to the theory will ‘be necessary and sufficient’‛ for therapeutic change, which means the client will to be able to find their own answers.

Person Centred therapy harnesses the clients natural self-healing process, and given the right relationship with the therapist, clients can decide what they want to do with their lives, to this end person centred therapy is a personal growth model also known as non directive therapy, the client is not taught the model of therapy or undertake homework .

Carl Rogers (1902- 1987) founder of the Person Centred Approach to therapy


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The Core Conditions Explained.

Carl Rogers believed that all individuals had the power to live to their own ‘organismic valuing process’‛ (note to self; be careful with the spell check ). This basically means trusting your own judgment, living your life to your own values not the values of others.

The ‘core conditions’‛ are basically attitudes that the counsellor displays that show acceptance of the client, valuing them as a human being of worth.

The first condition is called Empathy, sometimes referred to as a frame of reference , try this experiment , with a friend look at the same object , or the view out of the window. Do you see the same thing?

Probably not, the reason is that we all have our own perception of the world; the counsellor tries to understand the thoughts and the feelings as the client experiences them , sometimes referred to as ‘walking in someone else’‛s shoes’‛ .

The second condition is known as Congruence this means the counsellor is genuine and real, this condition is important as it allows the client to build a trusting relationship with the counsellor. Let’‛s face it, would you want to talk your problems over with someone acting false, thought not.

The counsellor’‛s congruence also has another use it can help defeat negative attitudes or conditions of worth that others may have placed on the client, perhaps someone has said to them that they are ugly, fat or stupid. The counsellor’‛s warm and genuine approach allows the client to feel valued, which in turn builds self esteem and trust in their own judgment.

The third and final condition is known as UPR short for Unconditional Positive Regard, for a client it can be a relief to talk about their problems without someone saying ‘why did you do this?... or do think that was a good idea?. UPR allows the client to open up and speak about their difficulties without a fear of being criticised or judged.

All counsellors even those who don’‛t practice Person Centred therapy use the ‘core conditions’‛ as a base for their practice.

Let me ask you a question; how easy for you would it be to offer the Core Conditions to clients, reflect what would stop you?, why might you find it difficult ?


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Other Contributors to Person Centred Theory

During the time Carl Rogers was developing his therapy another psychologist called Abraham Maslow who in the 1960’‛s developed a theory called ‘Self Actualisation, he then developed an idea later know as Maslow’‛s Triangle.

Maslow and Rogers believed that human beings need certain conditions to be in place before they could reach their full potential and have fulfilled life.

To describe his idea he came up with a triangle like this:-

At the bottom of the triangle was what he described as physiological needs such as ,air, water ,food, going to the toilet etc, he believed that these were the basic elements that humans need to survive.

The second part of the pyramid is safety needs this means that humans feel safe and protected this usually means having somewhere to live.

Third on the triangle is love and belonging, this means having friendships, and a loving relationship with family or a partner, and could include having a physical relationship (a sexual relationship).

Self esteem is the forth part of the triangle and is about how people feel about themselves in the wider world being employed, doing an activity that they can feel is a personal achievement such as going to college, playing an instrument, or a hobby could be seen as building self esteem.

The final part of the triangle, ‘the peak ‘is known as self actualisation the best way of describing this to think of individuals like Nelson Mandella , Mother Teresa, or individuals who have overcome personal difficulties to achieve great things.

Remember the triangle works from the ground up and you cannot exchange one need for another, for example exchanging the need to breathe air for shelter, each level of the triangle must be met before progressing to the next level.


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Transactional Analysis. Basic Concepts

The Transactional Analysis approach to counselling belongs to the Psychoanalytical School of therapy and was devised by Eric Berne a Canadian psychiatrist in the late 1940’‛s.

Berne who had studied the work of Sigmund Freud, tried in 1949 to join the San Francisco Psychoanalytic Institute but was rejected, so he went on to develop his own interpretation of Freud’‛s ideas which he called Transactional Analysis, or T.A. for short.

Berne wanted to develop a therapy which was easier for the general public to understand, using ‘Layman’‛s terms’‛ he went on to write a number of influential books one of which was called ‘The Games People Play’‛ which is still popular today, 25 years after it was first published.

The theory of TA is (on the surface) is quite simple, Berne believed that people have difficulty in their lives due to how the communicate and interact with others.

He believed that human beings have three distinct attitudes or states of mind which he called Ego States these are;

1 Parent (behaving in ways which we learn an re act out our parents behaviour as adults)

2 Adult (using logic and evidence to guide our behaviour, not becoming emotional)

3 Child (replaying childish behaviours as adults)

The goal of TA is to help clients develop their Adult Ego State and enhance their communications with other people.

Clients are encouraged to undertake homework to assess how the therapy is working for them. The therapist Analyses your past and how it effect the here and now which is why it is known as an Active Directive form of therapy

TA therapist believe that past life events ( things that happened maybe in childhood) hold the key to understanding what our present difficulties are . This is known in TA therapy as the presenting past.

Eric Berne (1910- 1970) founder of Transactional Analysis therapy


http://www.babelio.com/users/AVT2_Berne_9471.jpeg

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The Ego States Explained

As an adult have you ever found yourself saying things to others your parents said to you, as a child?

“Stop waving that fork about, you will put someone’‛s eye out “or Don’‛t go out with wet hair you will catch a cold”. Yes we all do this from time to time, the reason is as small children we believe everything our parents tell us is the truth.

That’‛s why children believe in Father Christmas and parents worry when to tell them that he doesn’‛t really come down the chimney on Christmas Eve.

Ever felt disappointed?, Your football team has lost or you did not get the job you applied for and you found yourself ‘sulking’‛ or having ‘strop’‛ a bit like the four year old you used to be.

Well those are ‘Ego States’‛ and if you have ever worked with an adult who acts like they are a four year old when they don’‛t get their own way or start talking to you like you were a child and they were your parent you know just difficult and frustrating that can be.

The illustration on the left shows the Ego States that we all experience at some point through the day.

The goal of TA therapy is to make us aware of which ego state we tend to be in most of the time and ask ourselves is this useful in our everyday relationships and interactions with others.

By being more adult in transactions with people, we find than tour relationships can be enhanced and we don’‛t fall back in to historic and not useful states of mind.

Berne believed the key to a fulfilled life was to be aware of our ego states and explore them all but not get stuck in just one!

Reflection

When this week did you act as a child, what happened?


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Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy. Basic Concepts

The Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy (REBT) approach to counselling belongs to the behavioural School of therapy and was devised by Albert Ellis an American psychologist who in the 1950’‛s devised a form of therapy that he believed would help us think our way out of distress.

As a younger man Ellis wanted to find a girlfriend, to try to break his habit of being shy, he went in to New York’‛s central park and talked to 100 women. Although he never got a date he became more confident of talking to woman and altered what he described as an irrational fear.

Albert Ellis had an interest in the philosophy of the ancient Greeks, one philosopher in particular was Marcus Aurelius, (yes he is the character Russell Crow played in the film Gladiator) who said “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking”. REBT and CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) are closely related. The basis of the theory is:-

1 Action (you crash your car)

2 Belief (You believe that you are a rubbish driver)

3 Consequence (you stop driving because you fear you will have another accident)

4, Dispute (the counsellor disputes that you are a rubbish driver, and asks you to consider that most people will have an accident in their driving careers)

The goal of REBT is to help clients replace Irrational Thinking with Rational Thinking.

Clients are encouraged to undertake homework to assess how the therapy is working for them, the therapist sets task and goals which is why it is known as an Active directive form of therapy

REBT therapists believe that we can ‘think ourselves out of our problems’‛.

Albert Ellis (1913-2007) founder of REBT therapy


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/3e/Albert_Ellis.jpg

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Three Therapies Compared and Contrasted

In this section we are going to look at three different forms of ‘counselling’‛ how they compare and how they differ.

The first thing to consider is that all counsellors no matter which model of counselling the practice should offer the core conditions discussed in the section ‘Person Centred Therapy’‛,

The main difference is that TA and REBT counsellors use additional techniques where Person centred therapists believe that the core conditions are necessary and sufficient for the client to heal themselves.

In the grid below you will see how the therapies compare:-

Person Centred Transactional Analysis REBT

Carl Rogers Eric Berne Albert Ellis

Humanistic school Psychodynamic School Behavioural School

Client Centred Counsellor teaches model Counsellor teaches model

‘Here and now’‛ ‘Presenting past’‛ ‘How we think’‛

Counsellor believes the client is an expert on themselves and helps the client gain self acceptance

Counsellor is an ‘expert’‛ helps the client to realise how childhood experiences effect their life today

Counsellor is an ‘expert’‛ helps the client to think more rationally about life.

Believes that humans can self heal if the core conditions are in place

The basis of the model is Parent, Adult, Child Ego states

The basis of the model is Action ,Belief and Consequence

Core conditions, necessary and sufficient

Core conditions Desirable Core conditions Desirable

The relationship between the client and the counsellor is the most important aspect of the therapy succeeding

Counsellor teaches techniques ,homework and uses worksheets to aid the therapy

Counsellor teaches techniques ,homework and uses worksheets to aid the therapy


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Why have different therapies?

This question is asked a lot, and just for the record there are hundreds of differing types of talking therapy, but all of them can find their root in the three approaches we have looked at in this guide.

The reason there are differing approaches is that not all human beings are the same and some of us have difficulties which may be better suited to one therapy than another, this is known in counselling circles as best fit for client.

Person Centred Therapy is a non directive form of counselling and as such suits people who want to explore issues of personal development such as relationships, moving on from abuse, or coming to terms with loss. it is a philosophical approach and as such relies on the client being able to change their outlook on life and value themselves.

For individuals in the grip of addiction this approach may not offer enough strategies or techniques that the client can use to move on.

Person centred counselling is relatively short term with about 14 sessions being the norm, although it can go on for longer.

Transactional Analysis is an active directive form of counselling this means that the counsellor teaches the client the model of counselling and analyses the clients past, sometimes as far back as their childhood. This form of therapy is very effective for clients who have had a difficult early childhoods which then goes on to effect their behaviour as adults..

However it is not a quick fix, with sessions that can last for months or even years, which if you are a paying client can be expensive, If you have a fear of flying and are going on holiday next week this therapy is probably not for you !

REBT is also an active directive form of counselling this means that the counsellor teaches the client the model of counselling and techniques that the client can use to change their irrational thoughts and replace them with more useful thinking. Thus the mind set of “I have had three interviews and no job offers” is replaced with “perhaps I will have to have lots of interviews before I find work, I just need to keep trying “

This therapy is usually short term usually six sessions and may not be useful for issues such as bereavement or historic abuse


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The Future of Counselling

Up to now we have looked at models of counselling that were developed in the 1950’‛s and 60’‛s and are still practiced today.

So do the theory’‛s of counselling developed 50 years ago fit the person of today?, well the answer is yes and no, please bear with me while I explain.

I am going to use the word ‘Existential’‛ ..’‛Exist what ?’‛

It is an idea from philosophy that we struggle with the ridiculousness and ‘unfairness of life, for example the mother whose child dies, a man who never smoked getting lung cancer, someone who loves their partner very much only to find out they are having an affair, having a loved one die of a simple treatable illness because you live in a poor country not the so called ‘developed world’‛.

These are the difficulties along with the bigger philosophical questions of who am I?, why am I here? , is there a God?, that have burdened the humans for as long as they have walked the earth, So yes counselling theories developed half a century ago are still relevant today.

And the ‘No’‛?

In the last 50 years two things have happen in the world of psychology, the first is a huge amount of research has concluded that psychological distress has a number of causes and factors that we are just coming to understand and that counsellors need to be aware of .

The other big idea is neuroscience, the art of looking at how the structure, wiring and chemical composition of the brain affect our mood, we have a better understanding of why people get depressed, suffer post traumatic stress or suffer from dementia.

Modern technology can let medics see the brain working (or not) in real time

It is also acknowledged that some clients may need a mixture of counselling approaches this is called integrative counselling and is used by counsellors trained in more than one approach.

At the time of writing researchers in the United States are experimenting with the drug ecstasy, on clients suffering from Post Traumatic Stress, the research indicates that when using the drug clients can get in touch with the feelings of traumatic experiences and work through them.


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Professional practice


¾ The code of ethics

¾ Supervision

¾ The Law

¾ Referrals


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Ethics

Like most professions counselling has an overseeing body that ensures that counsellors work in a way which does not hurt damage or exploit the general public.

The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy is a UK based organisation founded in 1977, membership is voluntary although employers would expect that counsellors they employ would be members, student counsellors should be members.

The BACP sets a code of standards that counsellors abide by and are known as the Code of Ethics this is spilt in to two distinct headings.

1. Ethics for counselling and psychotherapy -

Values of counselling and psychotherapy

Ethical principles of counselling and psychotherapy

Personal moral qualities

2. Guidance on good practice in counselling and psychotherapy

Providing a good standard of practice and care

Working with colleagues

Probity in professional practice

Care of self as a practitioner

The organisation has two main functions, to provide information on counselling services and set standards which give the general public confidence in the profession and a route to complain if they feel dissatisfied with the service they have received from a counsellor.

The organisation also provides support to counsellors in form of well researched information, continued professional development training courses, and a collective voice when dealing with the government of the day and any legislation they propose.

The BACP publish a monthly magazine called therapy today which all members receive keeping them up to date with the latest developments in the work of counselling and psychotherapy as well as up to date research.

The BACP also set down the limits of confidentiality which can differ from say that of a doctor.


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For instance at the time of writing this guide if a Doctor treats a patient who has a knife or a gunshot wound they would be ethically obliged to report this to the police, a counsellor is under no ethical obligation to do this.

Supervision

The BACP state that for a counsellor to work ethically then they must attend regular supervision, to review and justify their work.

Most people think of supervision in as a yearly review with their boss, when they are given targets to achieve, told what training they must attend and if they get a pay rise (or not).

Counselling supervision is very different, as a student you would see your supervisor for 1 hour after eight hours of client work or 1.5 hours month whichever comes first.

A supervisor is a qualified counsellor, with additional qualifications in supervision and has more practice experience than you.

Supervision falls in to three main areas with ethics always being in the forefront of both the supervisors and counsellors’‛ mind.

1. Formative (Supervisor sharing their experience to teach the counsellor)

2. Normative (Supervisor asking the counsellor to account and justify their work)

3. Restorative (Supervisor offering support if the counsellor is struggling with an ethical issue or an aspect of their practice )

Supervision is not the place for the counsellor to obtain their own therapy, although sometimes issues in a counsellor’‛s life might impact on their ability to give full attention to the client.

If this is the case then the supervisor might suggest that the counsellor access their own therapy to look at issues in their lives.

Supervision is what makes counselling a managed activity.


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Counselling and the Law

In this section we are going at the legal obligations counsellors have to abide by, as this is an introductory guide consider the information supplied below as on overview, not legal opinion which you could use as defence in court!

Counsellors are not above the law, like all citizens of the United Kingdom, not abiding by statutory laws can get you in trouble as anyone who has got caught doing 100 mph in a 20 mph speed limit will likely tell you.

The four most common laws that counsellors might come across while working with clients are :-

1. Prevention of terrorism act 2005

2. Money Laundering regulations 2007

3. Drugs trafficking act 1996

4. Protection of Children’‛s act 1999

The laws listed above form an exception to client confidentiality if client discloses that they are breaking these laws then the counsellor has a legal and ethical obligation to inform someone.

If a counsellor is working with an agency will have their own policies and procedures, which in addition to the laws listed above will include breaching confidentiality should the client disclose that they are in serious risk of harming, themselves or others.

Exceptions to confidentiality be it the BACP code of ethics and the agencies own policies and procedures are discussed at the time the counsellor contracts with the client.

This is why contracting is important. it allows the client to fully understand what the counsellor can offer in terms and the exceptions to confidentiality.

It allows client informed consent that they enter counselling knowing exactly what is on offer.


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Referrals

Clients come from all walks of life and can present with many difficulties, one of the counsellor’‛s ethical obligations is to work within their competence and job description.

Sometimes clients need help with other things as medical issues, debt, claiming benefits, legal difficulties and so on.

This is where a referral is useful; no client should ever feel that they are beyond help so if a client asks a counsellor for help with debt then a referral is made to the appropriate professional who can offer help.

Counsellors work with what is described as the ‘worried well’‛ individuals who have problems they want to resolve but whose mental health does not need medical intervention.

Occasionally clients may present with severe mental health issues such, as being delusional or hearing voices, in cases like this the counsellor should refer on to a qualified medical professional.

Clients who present or under the influence of drugs and alcohol, or are having ongoing issues with substance misuse, should seen by someone who as expertise in this field

In cases like this the counsellor should refer them to a suitably qualified professional to get the help they need.

A referral procedure provides a seamless journey from one professional helper to another so all aspects of the clients difficulties can be supported.


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Communication


¾ Barriers to communication

¾ Overcoming barriers to communication


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Communication

Ever tried to have a conversation on crackly mobile phone that’‛s lost its signal, frustrating isn’‛t it? In this section we are going to look at barriers to communication and how we overcome them.

Common barriers to communication can sometimes be things we don’‛t consider, for example the client not having wheelchair access to the building. If the client cannot get to see the counsellor then no communication can take place. A noisy environment where it can be really difficult to hear is being said can be a barrier to communication.

Not everyone has English as a first language, so language can be a barrier, if the counsellor does understand what you are saying the same goes for strong regional accents. Some clients may find it difficult to read or write.

What about a client who has a hearing impairment, or perhaps is not able to read or write. or having to use a room where the client can be overheard by others.

Perhaps one of the biggest barriers to communication is a member of staff who is judgmental, off hand or sarcastic.

When considering overcoming barriers to communication such things as easy access to buildings installing hearing loops and using interpreters or signers can help.

Also making sure that any literature is available in differing languages, rooms should be quite and confidential.

Most of all workers should have the personal qualities attitudes and skills to help people.

Organisations should consistently be asking for feedback from service users so they can offer a better quality of service.


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Counselling skills


¾ Different types of counselling skills

¾ How they are used


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Counselling Skills

When working with clients Counsellors draw on a number of skills, which when used with thought and care can help move the counselling process forward. In this section we will look at the most effective skills to use.

These are:-

1, Attending

2, Use of silence

3, Reflecting and Paraphrasing

4, Clarifying

5. Focusing

6, Building Rapport

7, Summarising

When using skills:-

x Be genuine, if you don't understand, it's OK to check and ask for further information.

x Try to be brief when reflecting back, the speaker should do most of the talking,

x Keep your tone of voice level. using a shocked or disbelieving tone of voice may indicate that the speaker is unacceptable or odd.

x Use your own words to reflect back, (to avoid sounding like a parrot!)


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AN INTRODUCTION TO COUNSELLING SKILLS – ATTENDING

The Meaning of Attending

Attending means being in the company of someone else and giving that person your full attention, to what they are saying or doing, valuing them as worthy individuals

In a one-to-one counselling relationship this is the supportive service that a counsellor must provide. Failure to do this will mean the client is not being supported fully, and may not feel able to disclose or make progress.

Attending also means a counsellor must pay attention to everything a client says and does. This includes reading the client’‛s body language and also taking into consideration all the silences and pauses in the conversation. Actively listening not only conveys information, but also encourages the client to continue talking.

How to Attend To begin and maintain attendance a counsellor must first welcome the client warmly, making him/her feel comfortable, in the counselling environment, will make the client feel more relaxed about disclosing personal information about their emotions, feelings and thoughts.

By maintaining eye contact with the client, a counsellor shows they value what the client has to say. Looking at the client, as they speak, also shows the counsellor is respectful.

A counsellor should also be aware of the tone of their voice, during time in the client’‛s presence. Slowing down speech will make the client feel more relaxed and less rushed. It will convey that the counsellor has adequate time to listen to the client’‛s problems and concerns. The counsellor’‛s facial expressions must also convey interest and comprehension.

Tracking, or following the flow of what the client is saying, is a key skill that the counsellor must also be confident demonstrating. Without the ability to do this a counsellor will not be able to provide the level of supportive service a counselling client requires.

Reflection

How might you feel when someone is giving you their undivided attention?


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AN INTRODUCTION TO COUNSELLING SKILLS – SILENCE

Use of silence

Culturally we have been taught to be uncomfortable with silence; this can influence the counsellor’‛s use of silence and the client’‛s reactions to it.

New counsellors are typically uncomfortable with pauses; often rushing in to fill the gaps, by doing this the counsellor assumes inappropriate responsibility for the counselling session.

The person centred counsellor trusts that the client will work in a way, and at a pace, that is suitable for them. The counsellor gives the client control of the content, pace and objectives, this includes listening to silences as well as words, sitting with them and recognising that the silences may facilitate the counselling process.

What type of feeling can cause you to fill the silence?

Silences occur for a number of reasons

For the counsellor it can be:-

x A deliberate use of silence to encourage the client’‛s self-exploration x A deliberate use of silence to encourage the client to “carry the burden” of the

conversation. x An organisational use of silence enabling the counsellor to collect her/his own

thoughts. x A natural ending to a phase of discussion.

For the client it can be:-

x An organisational use of silence enabling the client to collect her/his own thoughts, remember events, assess values and reflect on feelings.

x A time to make connections, to wait for words or images to occur. x A space in which feelings can be nurtured and allowed to develop. x A space in which the client is able to recover from “here and now” emotions. x An attempt to elicit a response from the counsellor, such as satisfying a need for

approval or advice.

Reflection

How do you feel about silences?


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AN INTRODUCTION TO COUNSELLING SKILLS – REFLECTING Reflecting and Paraphrasing Part of the ‘art of listening’‛ is making sure that the client knows their story is being listened to, this is achieved by the helper/ counsellor repeating back to the client parts of their story ,this known as Paraphrasing. Reflecting is showing the client that you have not only ‘heard’‛ what is being said but what feelings and emotions the client is experiencing when sharing their story with you. This is sometimes known in counselling ‘speak ‘as the music behind the words. It is like holding up a mirror to the client, repeating what they have said, shows the client they have your full attention , it also allows the client to make sure you fully understood them and if not they can correct you. Reflecting and Paraphrasing should not only contain what is being said but what emotion or feeling the client is expressing. Let’‛s look at an example; Client Mohammed - ‘My ex-wife phoned me yesterday, she told me that our daughter Nafiza (who is only 9) is very ill after a car accident, ‘I am feeling very scared for her ‘they live in France so I am going to have to travel to see her and now I have been made redundant I don’‛t know how I can afford to go’‛. Counsellor /helper – ‘So Mohammed you have had some bad news about your little girl who has been involved in an accident, you are frightened for her and also have worries over money now you have lost your job’‛. Client – ‘Yes yes ... that’‛s right’‛ ( notice the helper/ Counsellor does not offer advice or stat asking how long he and his wife have been separated , but reflects the emotion of what is said ‘frightened ) Reflecting and Paraphrasing, is the first skill we learn as helpers and remains the most useful, to build a trusting relationship with a helper the client needs not only to be ‘listened to but’‛ be heard and valued as a person.

Reflection

What is the difference between ‘listening’‛ to someone and ‘hearing them’‛?


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AN INTRODUCTION TO COUNSELLING SKILLS - CLARIFYING

Clarifying means using questions to make sure you understand what is being said so you are not confused and the client feels full understood to do this effectively you need to understand the type of questions to ask.

Have you ever been in a situation where you have been asked one question after another?. It can feel like you are being interrogated, rather than listened to !

Someone who is skilled in the ‘art of listening’‛ will use open questions, using them sparingly, to help you clarify what the client has said so that you can reflect and paraphrase more accuracy.

Open Questions

These generally begin with' How...?' 'What...?' 'Who...?'

They require an answer other than 'yes' or 'no'.

They may be used to gain information (what happened as a result?), explore thoughts, feelings, attitudes and opinions (what were you hoping to achieve?) or to consider hypothetical situations (how might you deal with. ..?).

'Why?' questions are useful open questions but beware of making them sound too judgmental (e.g. 'Why did you do that?).

Closed Questions

These questions invite a 'Yes' or 'No' answer and may be unhelpful in terms of the replies given.

Many people believe they are asking 'open questions' when in fact they are asking complicated 'closed questions'.

Repeated use of 'closed questions' may result in the client saying less and less and the Counsellor feeling pressurised to ask more and more questions to keep the relationship going.

Makes sure that you only use questions to clarify your understanding, do not be intrusive, and remember that when a client is answering a question they are not accessing the part of the brain which deals with emotions

Reflection

Is the question ‘what date is your birthday’‛ an open or closed question?


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AN INTRODUCTION TO COUNSELLING SKILLS – FOCUSING

Focusing

1. This skill is particularly useful after one or two sessions, when the helper/counsellor has heard the client's story. Focusing involves making decisions about what issues the client wants to deal with.

2. The client may have mentioned a range of issues and problems, and focusing allows the

counsellor and client together to clear away some of the less important surrounding material and concentrate on the central issues of concern.

3. Focusing may involve prioritising issues and making decisions about the urgency of the issues the client has brought. Which issues may need swift action? Which may be left until later?

4. Focusing involves thinking through the implications of prioritising. If one issue is dealt with first, how will this affect the other issues? What will this mean for the client? Focusing involves an estimate of the length of time the counselling is likely to take, and discussion of this with the client.

5. Focusing involves looking at one's own level of experience as a counsellor. Are there concerns around coping and competence regarding the client's issue? Do you need to refer on?

6. Focusing may involve goal-setting, and/or contracting with the client. It involves a realistic assessment of what is possible.

Reflection

How would you ask a client which issue they would like to look at first, without sounding disrespectful?


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AN INTRODUCTION TO COUNSELLING SKILLS – RAPPORT

Establishing Rapport with a Client

To work well with a client we need to establish rapport with him or her. Rapport is important, whatever model of counselling the counsellor is working with. Unless a client feels a sense of rapport, they will be unlikely to be able to work well with the counsellor. Rapport means a sense of having connection with the person. Rapport will be helped and facilitated by how the counsellor manages his or her own feelings towards the client, and how s/he behaves with the client. For example, the counsellor needs to think about...

Being well prepared for the session, unrushed, calm ready and prepared to be there for the client, putting one's own issues and problems out of the way, for the duration of the session.

Making a safe and trusting environment: Taking trouble to make the setting appealing, offering a restful, clean, uncluttered, pleasant setting, comfy seating, perhaps a cup of tea, absolutely no intrusions, soundproofed and discreet

Being aware of who the client is. for second and follow on sessions, knowing the client's name, remembering key things about their issues. (Taking time to read last week’‛s notes)

Offering empathy, making efforts to be there with the client, and for the client, trying to see how the client feels about things and how the client sees things, (which is likely to be different from the counsellor's perception).

An accepting manner: Remaining un-shocked, whatever the client brings Being non-judgemental, however much the client's behaviour surprises or appals us. Offering unconditional positive regard (UPR) to the client, however s/he has been behaving. Maintaining respect for the person (though not always condoning the behaviour).

Unrushed, allowing the client time. Allowing the client to stay with whatever feelings come up, without trying to solve all the problems at that moment. Being patient with clients who find it hard to talk about themselves.

Being Congruent: Being honest, in a well-considered and kindly way. Not being 'brutally honest' in a confrontational or rude way, but gently challenging dysfunctional beliefs and behaviours, when the time is right. If Rapport is established, the client will grow to trust the counsellor, and a good foundation is laid for real growth and healing to occur.

Reflection

How do you know known someone is building rapport with you ?


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AN INTRODUCTION TO COUNSELLING SKILLS – SUMMERISING

Summarising

We have looked at paraphrasing and 'reflecting back' skills. Summaries are longer paraphrases. They condense or crystallise the essence of what the client is saying and feeling.

Summaries usually cover a longer time period than a paraphrase Where reflecting back" / paraphrasing can be used after a few sentences, a summary may be used after some time : perhaps half-way through a counselling session, or near the end of a counselling session.

The summary 'sums up' the main themes that are emerging.

Summaries are useful.

1. To clarify emotions for both the helper/counsellor and the client.

2. To review the work done so far, and to take stock.

3. To bring a session to a close, by drawing together the main threads of the discussion.

4. A summary may be used to begin a subsequent session, if appropriate.

5. To start the process of focusing and prioritising 'scattered' thoughts and feelings

6. To move the counselling process forward.

Reflection

How do you feel when someone has clearly listened and understood you?


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Useful Internet Sites

Counselling Tutor www.counsellingtor.com

Bacp www.bacp.co.uk

Counselling books www.pccs.co.uk

Training www.onlievents.co.uk

Mind www.mind.org.uk

Alcohol advice www.helpwithalcohol.co.uk

Study support www.how-to-study.com

Study support www.neilstools.com

The Samaritans www.samaritans.org

Carl Rogers www.carlrogers.info

Eric Berne www.ericberne.com

Albert Ellis www.albertellis.org


../Local%20Settings/Temp/Temporary%20Directory%201%20for%20Final%20draft%20level%202%20guide%20Sunday.zip/www.counsellingtor.com

../Local%20Settings/Temp/Temporary%20Directory%201%20for%20Final%20draft%20level%202%20guide%20Sunday.zip/www.bacp.co.uk

../Local%20Settings/Temp/Temporary%20Directory%201%20for%20Final%20draft%20level%202%20guide%20Sunday.zip/www.pccs.co.uk

../Local%20Settings/Temp/Temporary%20Directory%201%20for%20Final%20draft%20level%202%20guide%20Sunday.zip/www.onlievents.co.uk

../Local%20Settings/Temp/Temporary%20Directory%201%20for%20Final%20draft%20level%202%20guide%20Sunday.zip/www.mind.org.uk

../Local%20Settings/Temp/Temporary%20Directory%201%20for%20Final%20draft%20level%202%20guide%20Sunday.zip/www.helpwithalcohol.co.uk

../Local%20Settings/Temp/Temporary%20Directory%201%20for%20Final%20draft%20level%202%20guide%20Sunday.zip/www.how-to-study.com

../Local%20Settings/Temp/Temporary%20Directory%201%20for%20Final%20draft%20level%202%20guide%20Sunday.zip/www.neilstools.com

../Local%20Settings/Temp/Temporary%20Directory%201%20for%20Final%20draft%20level%202%20guide%20Sunday.zip/www.samaritans.org

../Local%20Settings/Temp/Temporary%20Directory%201%20for%20Final%20draft%20level%202%20guide%20Sunday.zip/www.carlrogers.info

../Local%20Settings/Temp/Temporary%20Directory%201%20for%20Final%20draft%20level%202%20guide%20Sunday.zip/www.ericberne.com

../Local%20Settings/Temp/Temporary%20Directory%201%20for%20Final%20draft%20level%202%20guide%20Sunday.zip/www.albertellis.org

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Notes


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An Introduction To the Theory and Practice of Counselling...10 All content copyright Rory Lees-Oakes...

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Transcript of An Introduction To the Theory and Practice of Counselling...10 All content copyright Rory Lees-Oakes...