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September 2013

All Because of Children ABC House - A Child Abuse Intervention Center serving Benton and Linn Counties

By Esther Friedman, ABC House Interviewer

W hile it is wise and appropriate to teach children to be wary of strangers, the vast majority of

child abuse happens much closer to home.

Approximately 80% of abuse is committed by the child’s parents or caregivers. Typically, an abuser is someone who is close to the child and the family; in most cases it is a family member or close friend. Sexual offenders in particular are often very skilled at gaining the confidence of the child and the parent, offering support and assistance to the parent, spending special time alone with the child, or working hard to provide treats and gifts the child

enjoys.

Teaching our children to be safe therefore depends not only on wariness of strangers, but wariness of certain behaviors. Teach children to judge their

safety by:

● Their comfort level

● By specific types of contact with their body

● By noting who does not listen when the child

wants to stop wrestling, tickling, and other forms of

physical contact

● By other behaviors that prepare children for more contact, such as being shown inappropriate pictures

or asked to keep secrets

Help children learn that they have ownership of their bodies through subtle messages, such as allowing them to say no to touch that is not medically necessary, and not forcing them to hug someone on demand. As parents or caregivers, be wary of a child being singled out for special attention, of adults who consistently prefer to spend time alone with a child, and of adults who

consistently share “secrets” with a child.

ABC House Myth Busters!

MYTH: “Stranger Danger”

Safety Tip: Digital photos and your children

Did you know that photos you post online from your smartphone can contain location information on exactly

where the photo was taken?

This embedded information, called an EXIF file, can be useful when trying to remember where a vacation photo was taken but it can also reveal the exact location of your children in the photo. This makes it easy for online predators, using readily available computer applications, to learn where your children spend their time,

such as their school, playground, even their home.

Safety experts strongly encourage smartphone users to disable the location information on their photos (also

known as “geo-tagging”) before posting anything online. This can be done in minutes.

For iPhones: go to Settings GeneralLocation and from select Camera to disable the automatic location

information on photos taken.

For Androids: launch your camera applicationCamera Options and deselect Geo-

tag photos.

To disable location information on photos taken using other types of phones, visit www.icanstalku.com, a public service website dedicated to raising awareness about

inadvertent information-sharing online.

PAGE 2 ABC HOUSE NEW SLETT ER SEPT EMBER 2013

Make a secure online donation today

www.abchouse.org

Monthly giving now available online!

F all is here! Back-to-school time always reminds me of how quickly our children grow up. As parents and concerned adults, we watch them become increasingly independent and explore a world that is

becoming bigger by the second.

In this newsletter edition, we share some resources about how you can help kids stay safe while still embracing technology, including the internet and posting photos online. We also provide a glimpse

into how our counselors help kids “get on with growing up” after experiencing traumatic events like

abuse.

Lastly, with fall comes Halloween and everyone’s favorite costumed Half Marathon on Saturday October 19th. Registration is open and all proceeds support ABC House’s work with children in our

community.

As always, thank you for your support and be safe

out there!

By Jennifer Gilmore-Robinson - Executive Director

You are cordially invited to visit ABC House and learn more about how we help children.

Tours are offered by appointment on Thursday mornings or Monday-Thursday at 5 pm.

Contact Lynn Youngs at 541-926-2203 or development@abchouse.org

Dear Dr. Carissa: Which bruises should cause me concern?

W e have all seen children with bruises but which ones, what color and how many should make us concerned? There has been plenty of research done on bruises in children. Knowing what is normal bruising can help differentiate abuse from common childhood bumps and bruises. One of the important things to consider when looking at bruises is the child’s age and developmental stage. If a child is not yet “cruising” (pulling themselves up to stand and walking while holding onto furniture) there is a pretty low likelihood that they should have bruising. So, bruises at this stage are especially concerning. Once a child starts crawling and cruising, they also start falling. At

this stage, it is fairly normal to see bruises on the fronts of the lower legs and an occasional bump on the forehead. “Cruisers” tend to have less than 3 bruises at any one time, however. Once the child starts walking, there may be a few more bruises but usually occurring in those same locations. Bruises on the cheeks, chest, back, abdomen, forearms and the backs of the legs are more concerning for, but not diagnostic of inflicted injuries. Older kids may have bruising in additional areas depending on their level of activity and the sports they play. Most concerning are bruises that have patterns: loops, straight lines, well-defined circles or other distinct shapes. Also, contrary to popular belief, the color of the bruise does not tell us when it

happened. For example, green bruises could have occurred 1 day ago or 1 week ago. Lastly, bruising sometimes occurs due to blood abnormalities. The child’s physician can assess for those conditions through blood tests. If you notice concerning bruises on a child, report it promptly to DHS or law enforcement to ensure the child’s safety and wellbeing. The child’s pediatrician can also be a valuable resource in determining whether the bruise is an inflicted injury, accidental or a medical condition.

* Dr. Carissa is a staff pediatrician at ABC House

A Message From the Director

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Title Sponsors

Don’t miss out on the fun! Don’t want to run? You can walk! Bring your family and friends! Wear a costume to win a prize! Runaway Pumpkin Half Marathon is fun from beginning to

end! You can even come out and cheer the runners on!

Race to be held on Saturday October 19th at Cheadle Lake in Lebanon.

Look for details at www.runawaypumpkinhalf.org and follow us on Facebook at

www.facebook.com/runawaypumpkinhalf

Gold Sponsors

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Thank You for Your Support This list below and on the following page represents generous donations from May 23 to September 9, 2013

If we have inadvertently missed someone or misspelled a name, please let us know so we can acknowledge your generosity in our next

newsletter.

Tangible Donations Aaron Pierce American Legion Auxiliary Brian McElligott Carole Perkins Charlie Stoakes Christian Women's Fellowship Christine Stehle Cindy Etzel Claudia Testa Crop Production Services Dala Johnson and Lebanon Police Dept Dorothy Fritch JoAnn McQueary Joyce Bryan Judy Christophersen Julie Kastl Linda Anderson Lisa Underwood Margaret and Danon Kroessin Marjorie McDowell Megan Brown Melissa Sprecher Pamela Henderson Pat McCallum Patty Wells Ramona Farmer Riverside Baptist Church Sabrina Myers Sheila Nelson Taylor Kelley Zada Kester

Cash Donations Adam Kirkpatrick, DDS Albany Community Downtown US Bank Amy Casterline Angela Yeats Bret and Diana Godfrey Charles and Barbara Van De Wetering Christian Womens Fellowship Doug and Elizabeth Marteeny First Lebanon Frank and Marilyn Schoonover Holderman Paving LLC Jacob and Sue Lamp

Jason Cadwell Jirl Good Judith Riggs Kristin Holly Laura and David Gillott Laura Hyde Lisa Tracy Luella and John Bothwell Mark and Jody Gordon Maryann Fandrem Moda Health Nancy Brown Patty Carper Paula Crone and Paul Aversano Pauline Boise Peck Family Foundation Performance Health Technology, LTD Ronald Parker Rotary Club of Corvallis Stllmacher Farm Inc - Bill and Barb Stellmacher Timothy Roels Treeview Heights Neighborhood William Ekman

In Memory Of Crop Production Services In memory of Michael E. Ricks Benton County Foundation In memory of Karly Sheehan Albany Optimist Club In memory of Rolyn Dey Monthly Supporters Aimee Kennel Al and Julie Wentland Angela Yeats Brian and Amy Vandetta Buck and Amy Pearce Caitlyn Hoefer Carl and Gloria Johnson Carol Bartel Caroline Fisher and Patrick McCabe Cathy Law Charlie and Mary Eads

Chris and Nancy Giggy Christopher and Kristina Hubbard Corwin and Anjeanette Brown Curt and Ronda Dannen Curtis and Jocelyn Trammell Dave and Benji Henslee Donna Pensinger Ed and Tawni Boyd Gary Cole Glenn and Amy Fairall Grady Corr Jacob Robinson and Jennifer Gilmore-Robinson Jamie and Michel Bryant Jane Snyder Jason and Staci Yutzie Jeff and Dianna Howell Jennifer Stanaway Jerry and Kerry Drum Jim and Jenny Johnson Joe and Julie Paz John Kollaer Katie and Tom Leggate Kim Shelby and Taylor Halstead Kori Jones Leo and Shelly Winters Lisa Wolfe Lynn Youngs Mark Raum Marsha Swanson Michael Sessa Mike and Amanda Peaslee Peter Hudson and Robin Benedict Philip Krolick and Jeanee Reichert Rich and Julie Ames Ron and Rhonda Loewen Sally Dvorak Stacey Hovelsrud Susan Keister-Schy Susan Overton Tammy Jack Terri Shank Tom and Wendy Phelps Virginia Corcoran

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From Our Counselors By Amy Hulan, ABC House Counselor

A re you the kind of kid who can get on with growing up, even though this touching trouble has

happened?

At ABC House, we ask every child (all ages) some version of this question at some point during their first counseling session, as their answer indicates where we are starting in counseling. It relates to their current belief about the effects of, and their ability to move on from the abuse experience that has brought them to the ABC House. The question is also asked because it sets the stage for the counseling philosophy practiced at the ABC House, immediately focusing on present and future thinking,

rather than emphasizing past events.

This question is asked because it is in total contrast to a common misperception that the traumatic experience needs to be retold, perhaps multiple times, in order to heal. In actuality, there is evidence stating that involuntary retelling of events of the abuse can be re-traumatizing to the individual. Not

focusing on the details of the event does not mean being in denial or minimizing what has happened; instead it shifts attention to how the child is handling life and their mental and emotional growth beyond

the traumatic experience.

Lastly, this question incorporates our underlying and unshakable belief that children are resilient and can grow beyond what has happened. The question implies ‘what is right about you,’ not a focus on what is wrong. The belief of resiliency is the gateway to supporting and encouraging the child to identify their strengths and abilities, and helping develop ways to mentally and emotionally self-manage during difficult times. In short, the goal of this question is to obtain the child’s perspective about what has happened and how it is influencing his or her life, rather than telling or interpreting for them what we think they are

experiencing.

The question asked was developed by Greg Warburton, LPC,

ABC House Counselor.

13th ANNUAL ABC HOUSE

BENEFIT SHOOTING MATCH RESULTS

Congratulations to the first place winner Norm Bright! Norm competed with 136 other sharp shooters from around the state in a six stage marksmanship competition.

Thank you to Travis Giboney and his dedicated volunteers for making the 13th Annual Shooters match a

great success!

Thank you to Albany Rifle & Pistol Club for the use of your facility!

Thank you to Pig Out BBQ for providing great food!

A net total of $10,112 was raised to benefit ABC House!

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M odern technology is increasingly used in schools to enrich learning experiences, and social media has become a widely-used connection maintainer among youth. Though useful and fun, technology also has safety risks: cyber-bullying, sexting, exposure to unsafe online networks (i.e. hate groups, web sites that promote unhealthy behavior such as “pro-ana” sites, etc.) and online sexual exploitation to name a few. It is vital that we have open, honest, and ongoing

conversations with children and teenagers about safety and respect in this

technology-heavy world.

You can do your part in keeping kids safe on the

internet by incorporating the following five tips:

1. Set realistic time limits with recreational “screen time.”

2. Monitor where, when and with whom your children interact on their mobile, gaming, and other internet-enabled devices.

3. Tell your children to avoid sharing their passwords, home address, phone numbers, and other identifying information over the internet.

4. Explain to your children the potential consequences of taking, sending, and sharing inappropriate images and videos.

5. Encourage your children to avoid responding to hateful or harassing comments, messages, and posts. Instead, children and teens are urged to save/print the exchange and show it to you or

another trusted adult.

By Maria Schauble - Community Education Coordinator

Top 5 Tech Safety Tips

H i! My name is Megan Konzelman and I am joining the team at ABC House as the Development Coordinator. I am so excited about this new position, and thrilled to be working on various projects and events that the ABC House is involved with! It is a vested interest of mine to be involved in supporting and promoting our community, and I believe that I can be an asset in developing programs through our organization which benefit our community as a whole. Prior to joining ABC House, I attended Western Oregon University and received my Bachelor’s Degree in Community Health Education. As a student of Public Health, I was able to make many connections in the community and increase awareness on current issues which directly affect our population. I truly have a passion for helping promote programs that are so vital to community health, and

working as the Development Coordinator at ABC House is a prime example of that. Not only am I excited about my new position, but I am excited about many changes currently in my life. I have a six-month old daughter named Ella who is absolutely amazing and adorable! My wonderful husband of four years, Eric, is a Sheriff’s Deputy for Benton County. His agency utilizes the services provided at ABC House, so I have been aware of the importance of this center long before I began my career here. Overall, I am extremely excited about starting my career with such an important agency that brings positive change to the community!

Welcome, Megan

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Caring Community Highlights

Albany Senior Quilters Anna Grace Kauffman

Avon Mumm Bev Weaver

Dorothy Westover Helen Crossley

Judy Baker Marjorie Mitchell Mary Lou Neher

Nettie Karr Sondra Putman

Pam Carlile - The Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints Three Lakes

Ward Relief Society

Quilters Corner

Thank you to our recent quilt donors!

The Oregon Community Foundation

ABC House was granted $20,000 to

fund our counseling

program.

Kiwanis Club of Corvallis

A grant for $500 was

presented to ABC

House to purchase

Girls Circle supplies.

The Benton County Foundation

The Community Education program was

granted $2,500 to provide school

presentations and

adult training in

Benton County.

Oregon Employer Council

Thank you for the $400 grant for the

Corvallis Chamber

membership!

Samaritan Health Social

Accountability - Lebanon

$5,000 has been granted to ABC House

for our Child Abuse Assessment

Program. Thank you!

Samaritan Health Social Services

Accountability - Albany

The Counseling Program has been

granted $7,000. Thank you!

Confederated Tribes of Siletz Indians

$1,060 for the purchase of

100 Stewards of Children

Training booklets for the

Community Education

Program is appreciated!

Consumers Power Charitable Trust

Thank you for the $700

to help purchase new

conference room tables.

Boldt Carlisle and Smith

Thank you for your $500

sponsorship for the ABC

House Donor Appreciation

BBQ!

Willamette Speedway

ABC House raised $1,105 in a 50/50

raffle at the Willamette Speedway.

Thank you!

Corvallis Country Club, American

Golf Foundation and Benton County

Sheriff’s Office

Thank you for hosting the Guns and

Hoses golf tournament, which raised

$720!

Lisa Underwood of Coldwell Banker Valley Brokers donated a stuffed animal and a $100 gift card to ABC House for every new listing

placed with her. Thank you, Lisa!

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Board of Directors

Jennifer Stanaway, President Albany Parks and Recreation

Gordon Vogt, Vice President Gordon Vogt & Associates

Jason Yutzie, Secretary Performance Health Technologies

Jerry Drum, Treasurer Albany Police Department

Chris Giggy Gerding Builders, LLC

Andrea Hampl AK Carpet & More, Inc

Debbi Richards Albany Parks and Recreation

Barbara Stellmacher Stellmacher Farm

Amy Vandetta Udell Engineering & Land Surveying, LLC

Sheila Wheeler Coastal Farm & Ranch

Executive Director Jennifer Gilmore-Robinson

www.abchouse.org

Save the Date! Fifth Annual Celebration of Hope Dinner

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

5:30pm - 8:00pm Linn County Expo Center

Albany Join other community members for dinner and learn how you can make a

difference in the life of an abused child.

Celebrate Hope ABC House’s Community Partnership Celebration 2014

Venue Sponsor • KGAL/KSHO Radio

ABC House at a Glance Here’s what we have been up to for the first 6 months of 2013:

303 children received abuse assessment services: ● 110 medical exams ● 103 medical consults ● 110 forensic interviews

1,202 students and 211 adults participated in community ed.: ● 42 school presentations ● 10 Stewards of Children

trainings ● 8 adult presentations

55 children and 60 adults received counseling services – over 200 hours of counseling