Alicia Barber Screenplay Samples 2016

Screenplay Samples | Alicia Barber 1

SAMPLE 1

INT. GARAGE CONVERTED INTO BEDROOM, DAY.SAM stands facing the two government agents, surnames MILES and MIROV, while CORTEZ leans against the wall behind her. The inside of the garage is littered with books and mechanical parts, frayed wires and circuit boards. There is dust and sand on nearly everything, including the unmade bed shoved into the corner. A conspicuous suitcase rests against MIROV's ankle.

MILES(Clears throat)

We believe we've tracked the AI down to an electronics dump nearby. We want you to pull her plug.

There is a long pause as SAM watches them carefully, here eyes darting back and forth between MILES and MIROV. CORTEZ shifts against the wall irritably.

CORTEZYou mean you don't have fancy strike teams just sitting on their asses, waiting for this kind of shit to go down? The government isn't gonna send in the drones and lay waste to the pit?

(spits to the side)Why's Sam gotta play your knight in shining armor?

MILES and MIROV glance at each other then back to SAM.MIROV

We've done our research.MILES

You have the highest success rate of any hunter out there, and the lowest number of civilian casualties.

MIROVWe have a great number of people at our disposal, Miss Boweather, all of them highly trained and focused. That does little to change the fact that you are the best at what you do, and for this job we don't want to settle for just getting it done when we could have it done right.

SAM drums her fingers against her hip nervously as she considers.


SAMSo what's in it for me?

MILES(Smug)

Is doing a service for mankind not rewarding enough for you, Miss Boweather?

SAM(gaining confidence)

Warm fuzzy feelings don't keep the lights on.

MIROVWe're prepared to erase your permanent record and offer you a full pardon for all crimes attributed to your name.

MIROV bends down and picks up the briefcase, snapping open the latches with a single flick of his fingers. He pulls a clean manila folder out and hands it to SAM. She pries it open and flips through the pages within. Satisfied, her eyes snap back to MIROV and MILES.

SAMAnd Cortez?

MIROV and MILES glance at each other again, and CORTEZ steps forward with a smug grin on his face.

CORTEZ(arrogant)

And me. What do I get?MILES frowns, pointedly not looking at CORTEZ.

MILESWe're here to hire you, Miss Boweather.

SAM crosses her arms over her chest.SAM

If you had really done your research, gentlemen, you would know I don't work alone.

CORTEZ strides over and wraps an arm around agent MIROV's shoulder, his smile growing even wider.

CORTEZWe're a two-for-one deal, baby. And my record's spotless, so you'd better have something much nicer in that shiny bag of yours if you want my attention.


MIROV shoves CORTEZ off and stiffly readjusts his suit jacket, glaring as CORTEZ makes his way over to stand just behind SAM.

MIROVWe can arrange to have Cortez compensated. Generously.

CORTEZ(skeptical)

How generously we talking?MILES and MIROV share another glance, and MILES gives MIROV a curt nod.

MIROVSix figures at the minimum. More if you agree to track down the remaining anomalies once the target has been disposed of.

There is a pause where the tension in the room builds in the silence. Then SAM breaks into a smile, sharing a triumphant look with CORTEZ. They grasp each other's hands in a sign of friendship as they laugh together before she turns back to MILES and MIROV.

SAMYou boys have yourselves a deal.

SAM and MIROV shake on it before a stack of paperwork is pulled out of the briefcase and slapped onto the table. As SAM begins to sign the contract, she can't quite stop grinning.

SAMPLE 2

INT. FOREST, NIGHT.Beneath the boughs of the trees we find the party of adventurers: BAILEY the hapless farmer, FAE the thief with rainbow hair, ILEA the chipper dark wizard, and SILVERSTAR the regal unicorn. They are making their way along the barely traversable path, stepping over roots and stones that line the trail. It is early evening, and the sun has dipped halfway below the horizon, giving the woodlands around them an otherworldly feeling. ILEA is currently snoozing atop SILVERSTAR's back, while BAILEY and FAE walk along beside them.


SILVERSTAR(ominously)

I do not like the silence that pervades the forest.

BAILEYIsn't quiet better than screaming, angry woodnymphs?

FAE(uneasy)

No, not this quiet. If the woods are this quiet, then they're not the place you want to find yourself when night falls.

ILEA yawns and slides off of SILVERSTAR’s back.ILEA

We probably just scared everything off. Bailey does clunk around like a bundle of tin cans.

BAILEYHey!

ILEA giggles.SILVERSTAR

No. We should not have come this way. We have ventured into territory that I should not have entered.

SILVERSTAR stops abruptly and turns, walking back the way they have come. ILEA looks at SILVERSTAR, then back at the path ahead of them. She pulls out a small silver object and holds it aloft, then stomps around in a circle as the object fails to do anything. She shakes it back and forth furiously, and a single silver beam flops out onto the ground, slithering forward along the trail they should be following. Several inches away it dissolves into the ground, leaving behind a sad smear of grey.

ILEA(muttering)

Stupid, uppity magical object.(at normal volume)

I hate to be contrary, but the guide stone says we should head this way! We can’t change course; it took hours to calm the stone down after our first detour. We’ll never make it in time to save the world if we keep mucking about the woods like lumberjacks.

SILVERSTAR


We must. We shall make do, as I cannot remain in this area. We are in great peril should we be caught within the borders of their territory.

SILVERSTAR continues moving forward as ILEA and FAE try to block her path.

SILVERSTARWell, perhaps not great peril so much as great inconvenience, and the certainty of a very severe headache.

A voice (REGINALD) sounds from off screen.REGINALD

Oh, aye, she isn’t wrong about that first one, eh?

The voice startles all of them, and they turn to see a pair of Moosicorns (Enter REGINALD and REMUS) walking out from the dark shadows between the trees. (Author’s Note: Moosicorns are moose-like creatures with a single antler protruding from their foreheads. They are unattractive and ungraceful creatures compared to their horse-like counterparts.)BAILEY leans closer to ILEA, a hand covering the side of his mouth to hide his lips from the moosicorns.

BAILEYWhat are those?

FAE(with disdain)

Moosicorns.REGINALD

Oh, she knows us, eh. What do you make of this one, Remus?

REMUSEh? She looks shiny. Shiny lass. Them’s rumblin’ looks.

REGINALD nods sagely.REGINALD

Aye. Rumblin’. You stumbled into the wrong neck of the woods, eh?

There is a long pause, in which no one speaks and much confused blinking is had by all.

BAILEY


(baffled)What?

REGINALDDon’t understand rumblin’? Why don’t you ask your filthy monster friend back there, eh? I bet she could tell you all about a good ol’ rumble.

REGINALD and REMUS step forward threateningly. SILVERSTAR rears up on her hind legs and moves in front of BAILEY, covering him protectively.

SILVERSTARLeave us. We mean you no harm, and only seek to pass.

REGINALD and REMUS look at one another and nod.REMUS

Aye, Reginald, them’s rumblin’ words.REGINALD

Aye, Remus, I think they be.SILVERSTAR

Fools.ILEA strides forward, holding her hand up and summoning a ball of darkness above it.

ILEA(gleeful)

You know, if you’re looking for a confrontation, I’d be happy to oblige.

The sound of other moosicorns gasping echoes from off screen, and each of the characters glance at the shadowy forest around them. Hints of other moosicorns can just be seen in the darkness.

REMUSOh, aye, leave it to a filthy unicorn to travel with a dark wizard. Shameful, that is, eh?

REGINALDShame indeed, aye. And she’s askin’ for a rumblin’, no less. Such violence.

BAILEY(exasperated, to SILVERSTAR)

Why are we “rumbling” with them at all? Why can’t we just walk through?


REMUSOh, aye, he doesn’t ken.

REGINALDAye, he doesn’t ken.

(to BAILEY)We can’t let no jumped up horse loose in our woods.

REMUS(to BAILEY)

Aye, wouldn’t be right.SILVERSTAR nudges BAILEY’s shoulder, knocking him back further behind her and out of sight of the moosicorns.

SILVERSTAR(to BAILEY)

They have it in their insipid heads that we are mortal enemies. A unicorn that wanders into their territory rarely returns unscathed, if they return at all.

REGINA(from off screen)

Down with the dark horns!REMUS

(to REGINA off screen)Aye, hush now Regina. We’ll take care of this one soon enough, eh?

ILEA looks from SILVERSTAR to REMUS and REGINALD, then back to SILVERSTAR.

ILEA(to SILVERSTAR)

This is very stupid.SILVERSTAR

(Primly)I do not disagree with that assessment.

REMUSOh, more rumblin’ words, aye?

REGINALDThey’re just a cruisin’ for a bruisin’, Remus.

REMUS and REGINALD step forward, and it is at this moment that BAILEY glances towards the tree line, the shadows shifting to reveal a girl with plain brown hair standing amidst the moosicorns, watching the scene unfold with mild boredom. (Enter TANSY) Three small pigs


with white, feathered wings sprouting from their backs are snuffling at her feet. BAILEY sees her, and the pigs, and scowls.

BAILEY(venomously, under his breath)

Tansy.BAILEY marches past SILVERSTAR and moves to stalk towards TANSY. FAE reaches out and grabs him by the collar before he can get far, lifting him up into the air and holding him there.

FAE(amused)

Yeah, let’s not run into the gang of murderous immortal things.

BAILEY squirms in her grasp, but being shorter and scrawnier, he is only able to kick his legs in the air.

BAILEYLet me go, I have a bone to pick with her.

FAE(skeptical)

Who?BAILEY sags dejectedly and points to TANSY. TANSY cocks her head to the side, confused.

FAE(over her shoulder to ILEA)

Oy, there’s a chick over here with the moosicorn herd.

ILEA stands on her tiptoes, trying to see over everyone to where FAE indicates.

ILEAA human? Fascinating. What is she, like, the moosicorn queen? Do they have queens?

REMUS(surprised)

Queen?(long pause) Them’s rumblin’ words, right there.

REGINALDOh, aye, rumblin’ words for sure.

BAILEY(sighing heavily)


Are all words “rumbling” words?REGINALD

(to Bailey, suspicious)What business do you have with Tansy, you angry little cloud o’ gloom?

ILEA(speaking out of the side of her mouth to SILVERSTAR)

What’s a Tansy?BAILEY points an accusatory finger at TANSY.

BAILEY(with angry conviction)

She stole my pigs.There is a flash of recognition on TANSY’s face, and she stomps forward to stand in front of BAILEY, as FAE sets him back down on the ground.

TANSYYou’re that Bailey?

TANSY scoffs and cocks her hip to the side.TANSY

(with disapproval)Geez kid, is a letter not enough anymore? Why you gotta stalk me into the middle of nowhere?

BAILEY(after a long, incredulous pause)

Stalk you?!

BAILEY takes a step forward so that they are only a couple of feet apart.

BAILEYI didn’t even remember you until you showed up in the middle of the woods.

TANSY tips her head back and laughs.TANSY

(sarcastic)Right, and you just happened to get all the way from your farm at the tail end of civilization and into this forest, purely by chance?


BAILEYYes! I mean, no. I mean...

(short pause)I'm doing a thing!

BAILEY stomps his foot.BAILEY

(continues)And I wouldn’t have to be doing that thing if you hadn’t stolen my pigs!

TANSYI came by them fair and square. It isn’t my fault you let them fly away.

BAILEY(losing patience)

I didn’t let them fly away, they got loose. That doesn’t give you any right to swoop in and keep them just because they hopped a fence. You’re a thief, and a rude one at that!

REMUS(to BAILEY)

Oh, aye, those are rumblin’ words for sure. You watch your soddin’ mouth when you’re talkin’ to our lass.

A slow chant starts to build from the moosicorns crowded off screen.MOOSICORNS OFF SCREEN

Rumble! Rumble! Rumble!(continue as needed)

FAE steps forward and throws back her hood, revealing her hair beneath the new moonlight. The moosicorns stop chanting and gasp, awed by the rainbow colors shining on the silver locks, denoting magic older than the moosicorns themselves. FAE rolls her eyes.

FAENow that I have your attention: why don’t you all just shut up?

REMUSOh, eh, them's –

FAE reaches out and smacks REMUS’ snout softly.FAE

(to REMUS)


Rumbling words? By my measure, nobody cares anymore.

(to all the moosicorns)Look, I don’t know what your beef is with the unicorns -

ELDERLY SOUNDING MOOSICORN(off screen, with elongated vowels)

Evil!FAE

(continues)Right, whatever it is, we aren’t here to be the targets of your righteous vengeance, or judgment day or what have you. We have places to be, and I aim to make sure we get there. So if you have a problem with that, then you have a problem with me and my pretty, pretty hair.

A profound silence fills the woods.REMUS

You…you sure are with them, eh?(anxious)

Not, like, for pretends or nothing, aye?FAE

(exasperated)No, not for pretends.

There is a tense pause as REMUS and REGINALD seem to consider FAE's allegiance.

ELDERLY SOUNDING MOOSICORN(off screen, emphatic)

Evil!REGINALD

(shaking his head)Hair or no, we can’t let this unicorn go. You can prance on your merry way without them, eh?

BAILEY(angry)

No.(brief pause while he looks REMUS, REGINALD, and TANSY in the eye in turn)

We're not leaving without Silverstar, and we're not leaving without my pigs.


ILEA(incredulous)

The pigs? What in the gods’ names are we gonna do with pigs?

BAILEYI don’t care. We’ll figure something out.

TANSY(upset)

You can’t just take my pigs!BAILEY

Are you serious right now?TANSY

(petulant)Hey, I worked hard to train these pigs. I’m not just going to give them over.

BAILEYThat’s why I’m going to take them.

TANSYYou and what army?

BAILEY gestures wildly to his companions.BAILEY

Me and this army!FAE, ILEA, and SILVERSTAR glance around at the large number of moosicorns in the woods around them, and then FAE and ILEA raise their eyebrows at BAILEY, doubting the wisdom of his challenge.

TANSYThere are like, three moosicorns for each of you. How are you going to take us?

BAILEYI don’t know, luck? Look, you pasty pig stealer –

ILEA(aside)

He really shouldn’t be calling anybody pasty.

REMUS(aside, to ILEA)

I second that, eh.BAILEY

(continues)


I don’t think I can remember anything ever going right for me. My whole life everything is always going sideways, or wrong ways, or zigging when it should have zagged, and I’m so tired of it. If you hadn’t stolen my pigs I never would have had to leave my farm, and I wouldn’t be in your stupid forest and in front of your stupid moosicorns.

(deep breath)But you did, and I am, and I am putting my foot down.

BAILEY punctuates this by stomping his foot into the ground in front of him and pointing at it.

BAILEYIt’s down, and I’m not lifting it. You either owe me pigs, or you owe me reparations for what you earned with them.

REMUS(to REGINALD)

He’s pretty mad, eh?REGINALD

(to REMUS)He’s a rumblin’, aye.

TANSY(haughty)

Right, fine, your farm didn’t do so well when you lost the pigs. But I don’t see that you, personally, have suffered. Look at you, in your fancy armor, traveling around with a bunch of semi-attractive women.

ILEA(enraged)

Hey!ILEA attempts to lunge forward, but FAE grabs the back of her robes and holds her in place.

TANSY(continues)

So I hardly see how you haven’t benefited from their disappearance. If anything, I did you a favor.

BAILEY’s mouth drops open, and he stares at TANSY for a moment, speechless. He turns and looks at SILVERSTAR, a silent question in his eyes, and SILVERSTAR shakes her head in denial of whatever


information he wanted to share to defend his case. He sags in defeat, and after a long pause turns back to TANSY.

BAILEY(quiet and sad)

Do you even know what hardship is? Just because I’m happier now doesn’t mean you didn’t cause me harm.

(brief pause, then pleading)Is that really so difficult to see? Can you at least acknowledge that you did something wrong?

REMUS(to REGINALD, moved)

Oh, hey, that’s a pretty good point there, eh?

REGINALD(to REMUS, choked up)

Aye, pretty fair ask I say, good buddy.TANSY

(petulant and angry)Hey, I suffered too! I’ve had to clean them, and feed them, and brush their wings.

(growing tearful)Plus I hardly ever get to see my parents anymore because I travel so much to run the flying pig circus, and the moosicorns have to frolic in the woods all by themselves half the time. Do you have any idea what it’s like to have friends that you can’t see whenever you want?

FAE(exasperated)

She doesn’t get it. She really does not get it.

REMUS(to FAE and ILEA)

Thicker than a tree at a really big tree convention, aye.

ILEA(to REMUS, irritated)

There’s no such thing as a tree convention.

REGINALD(to ILEA, snide)


You a tree too, now, eh? Big ol’ purple tree, come to tell us about ye old woods.

SILVERSTARHush, all of you.

BAILEY takes another step closer to TANSY, and he’s calmer now, no longer angry.

BAILEYYou know…I feel sorry for you.

(sadly)If you think that’s what suffering is, what an empty life you must lead. At least I can say I’ve lived through things, and that I didn’t let them tear me down. All you have are a bunch of stupid pigs.

BAILEY turns and walks back to SILVERSTAR, his head hanging low. She nuzzles him as he reaches her, and the clearing is filled with a profound silence as his meaningful words ring in their ears.

Alicia Barber Screenplay Samples 2016

Documents

Transcript of Alicia Barber Screenplay Samples 2016