Alexander the Haigiographer

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Back in 1981, there was a beautiful little column in the Guardian mocking Alexan der Haig's linguistic twistifying. I kept it for years, and recently rediscovere d it through the magic of the Googles. Here it is in entirety (also a blast from the political past!): "Alexander the Haigiographer: General Alexander Haig has contexted the Polish watchpot somewhat nuancely. How, though, if the situation decontrols can he stoppage it mountingly conflagrating ? Haig, in Congressional hearings before his confirmatory, paradoxed his auditi oners by abnormalling his responds so that verbs were nouned, nouns verbed and a djectives adverbised. He techniqued a new way to vocabulary his thoughts so as to informationally uncertain anybody listening about what he had actually implic ationed. At first it seemed that the General was impenetrabling what at basic w as clear. This, it was suppositioned, was a new linguistic harbingered by NATO during the time he bell-wethered it. But close observers have alternatived that idea. What Haig is doing, they concept, is to decouple the Russians from every thing they are moded to. An example was to obstacle Soviet ambassador Dobrynin from personalising the private elevator at Foggy Bottom. Now he has to communal like everybody else. Experts in the Kremlin thought they could recognition the wordforms of American diplomacy. Now they have to afreshly language themselves up before they know what the Americans are subtling. They are like chess grand masters suddenly told to knight their bishops and rook their pawns. If that is how General Haig wants to nervous breakdown the Russian leadership he may be shr ewding his way to the biggest diplomatic invent since Clausewitz. Unless, that is, he schizophrenes his allies first." by sfinx on Fri Nov 30, 2012 at 07:22:00 PM PST http://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/11/30/1166104/-Joe-Klein-on-the-Budget-Fiscal -Cliff-Negotiations-Republican-Drama-Queens [from The Manchester Guardian, February 8, 1981].

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Alexander the Haigiographer

Transcript of Alexander the Haigiographer

Page 1: Alexander the Haigiographer

Back in 1981, there was a beautiful little column in the Guardian mocking Alexander Haig's linguistic twistifying. I kept it for years, and recently rediscovered it through the magic of the Googles. Here it is in entirety (also a blast from the political past!):

"Alexander the Haigiographer:

General Alexander Haig has contexted the Polish watchpot somewhat nuancely. How, though, if the situation decontrols can he stoppage it mountingly conflagrating? Haig, in Congressional hearings before his confirmatory, paradoxed his auditioners by abnormalling his responds so that verbs were nouned, nouns verbed and adjectives adverbised. He techniqued a new way to vocabulary his thoughts so as to informationally uncertain anybody listening about what he had actually implicationed. At first it seemed that the General was impenetrabling what at basic was clear. This, it was suppositioned, was a new linguistic harbingered by NATO during the time he bell-wethered it. But close observers have alternatived that idea. What Haig is doing, they concept, is to decouple the Russians from everything they are moded to. An example was to obstacle Soviet ambassador Dobrynin from personalising the private elevator at Foggy Bottom. Now he has to communal like everybody else. Experts in the Kremlin thought they could recognition the wordforms of American diplomacy. Now they have to afreshly language themselves up before they know what the Americans are subtling. They are like chess grandmasters suddenly told to knight their bishops and rook their pawns. If that is how General Haig wants to nervous breakdown the Russian leadership he may be shrewding his way to the biggest diplomatic invent since Clausewitz. Unless, that is, he schizophrenes his allies first."

by sfinx on Fri Nov 30, 2012 at 07:22:00 PM PSThttp://www.dailykos.com/story/2012/11/30/1166104/-Joe-Klein-on-the-Budget-Fiscal-Cliff-Negotiations-Republican-Drama-Queens[from The Manchester Guardian, February 8, 1981].