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REVUE SAINTE-FAMILLE HOLY FAMILY REVIEW REVISTA SAGRADA FAMILIA

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.”

agape No. 35

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.

An annual Review produced byand for the five vocations of the

Holy Family of Bordeaux,the Spiritual Family of

Fr. Pierre Bienvenu Noailles

Editorial BoardSr. Geneviève Bessières

Apostolic General CouncillorSr. Teresa McElhone

ContemplativeGrace WalshLay Associate

Eleanor WoodsSecular Institute

Sr. Síle McGowanInt. ComInfo Service

Edited by the InternationalComInfo Service of the

Religious Institute

Santa Famiglia di BordeauxVia dei Casali Santovetti, 58

00165 Roma. Italy

Tel (+39) 06 6650071Fax (+39) 06 66411470

sfbinfo@pcn.net

EditorialCalled to build peaceSr. Teresa McElhoneContemplative, Martillac

Leading ArticlePeace is PossibleGrace WalshLay Associate, Ireland

Our Spirituality

Peace in Nazareth and in the Founder’swritingsA Consecrated Secular, Spain

A Family Shares

Do we hear what we are saying?Sr. Eithne HughesApostilic religious, Philippines

Nazareth - A School for Creating PeaceContemplative CommunityPosadas

Seeds of Peace in Everyday LifeA Consecrated SecularLatin America

Building Peace in the DR CongoMbembe LéonardPierrot GamushiAssociates - DR Congo

Family News

Religious InstituteSecular InstituteLay AssociatesPriest Associates

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Cover DesignFront: Sketch of Holy Family by

Sr. Maria Teresa FlorensaBack: Holy Family coat-of-arms by

Sr. Anxos Renieblas

The voice of the Pope has been heard on1 January each year for the past 36years, inviting every man and woman of

goodwill to take up the cause of peace. JohnPaul II reminds us over and over again that“peace is possible” because our God – Trinity,is a God of Peace, a God of Love. And if peaceis possible, it is also a duty to be fulfilled.

Peace is a wonderful, but at the same time, afragile treasure. 11 September 2001 and now,11 March 2004, confront us with the drama ofviolence. Insecurity and fear seize the humanheart. What can one do? The world predictedby the Prophet Isaiah “where the wolf shall livewith the lamb” has not yet arrived. But it is herein hope. We have to build it.

As members of the Spiritual Family of PierreBienvenu Noailles we enter into the mission ofJesus “who came upon earth to form a HolyFamily”. It is a mission of communion whichcommits us to promote human dignity, torespect the diversity of cultures and to work sothat peace and justice be established in alldomains. But this communion is a gift as wellas a mission. Jesus says: “Those who love mewill keep my word and my Father will love themand we will come to them and make our homewith them… Peace I leave with you; my peaceI give you… As the Father has loved me, so Ihave loved you, abide in my love… Father, maythe love with which you have loved me be in

EDITORIAL

Called to build Peace

them…” God’s own love is in us. Yes, our Godis communication, dialogue, exchange of love.We are not alone.

On 3 February 1822, the Lord said to us, as hedid to Moses, “I am He who is, and there isonly I who am.” In the Rabbinic Tradition “I am”is the name of the God who saves. Our new-born Family received this miraculousbenediction from the Lord in the Eucharist andwent forward, after the example of Jesus, Maryand Joseph, with zeal and detachment vergingon heroism having but one desire:to live theradicality of God’s love for humanity.

The pages which follow give a glimpse of howour Spiritual Family in the diversity of itsvocations and cultures affirms today, in faith,that our God has the power to change andtransform hearts, and therefore the world,through our modest daily gestures in favour offorgiveness and peace. The place of peace,par excellence, is the Eucharist, the celebrationof communion with God and with all ourbrothers and sisters in humanity. We hearChrist tell us again: “Peace I leave with you,my peace I give you” and we are sent to buildpeace: “Go in the peace of Christ.” If we aretempted to despair when faced with thescourge of violence, prayer arms us with lovebecause it always unites us to the prayer ofthe Crucified and Risen Lord.

“Blessed are the peace-makers!

Sr. Teresa McElhoneContemplative, La Solitude (Martillac)

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PEACE IS POSSIBLEGrace WalshLay Associate

Introduction

As a member of the Association of theHoly Family of Bordeaux, I am called tobe a messenger of peace. Two olive

branches form part of the Holy Family Coat ofArms. In the book, A good man passed thisway, Sister Marie-Bernard Flanagan describeshow Father Pierre Bienvenu Noailles, Founderof the Association of the Holy Family, devisedthe Coat of Arms:“A red shield formed the background for theshamrock; the shield rests on a half-sun; themotto is ‘Glory to God Alone’ and the whole issurrounded by two olive branches. These recallthe ‘Peace be with you’ of the principal feast ofthe Association, Low Sunday”.

“There Was No Path So ITrod One”This sentence appears in a Warm moist saltyGod by Edwina Gateley who founded theVolunteer Missionary Movement. Her life is acall to each of us to walk a new path. In thebook there is a story called The Woman in Blackwhich describes very beautifully a woman whowalks such a path. The woman was making adesert retreat. One day she noticed that herwell had run dry. She was faced with a decision:whether to wait for help or to look for water inthe desert. She decided to look for water.Miraculously, she met a woman in black, whoshared tea with her and showed her a well.

In the introduction, I found the following strikingsentence: “The turn for the better will only comeabout when each of us, hungry for somethingmore, dares to move forward.” In this article,the call is to move forward, walk the untroddenpath to peace.

Great Apostle of PeacePope John Paul II has made an importantcontribution for the peace of the world duringhis 25-year Pontificate. He has continued anddeveloped the work of his predecessors bycalling those in charge of international life backto the urgent need for respect for human rightsand to the necessity for justice in order to attainan age of peace.

In the first encyclical of his PontificateRedemptor Hominis, the Pope identifiesrespect for human rights as the only path tosecuring peace between peoples:“After all, peace comes down to respect forman’s inviolable rights-opus iustitiae pax- ( thework of justice is peace) while war springs fromthe violation of these rights and brings with itstill greater violations of them.” (n 17)

In the encyclical Laborem Exercens (n 8), thePope speaks of the violation of one of these -the right to work. Here, he is speaking aboutthe poor:“…they appear under various forms, in manycases as a violation of the dignity of humanwork: either - as a result of the scourge ofunemployment, or because a low value is puton work and the rights that flow from it,especially the right to a just wage and to thepersonal security of the worker and his or herfamily.”

The urgency with which John Paul II is pursuingpeace is evident in this passage from hismessage for the World Day of Peace 2004:“To Reach Peace, Teach Peace - I made thisappeal in my message for the World Day ofPeace,1979. Today this appeal is more urgentthan ever, because men and women in the face

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of the tragedies which continue to afflicthumanity, are tempted to yield to fatalism as ifpeace were an unattainable ideal.The Church, on the other hand, has alwaystaught and continues today to teach a verysimple axiom: Peace is Possible.

The message continues by stating that peaceis a duty and that it must be built on the fourpillars indicated by Blessed John XXIII in hisEncyclical, Pacem in Terris, i.e. truth, justicelove and freedom.

“As the Father sent me, so I sendyou”“The disciples were filled with joy when theysaw the Lord, and he said to them again,‘Peace be with you’. After this he breathed onthem and said. ‘As the Father sent me so I amsending you. Receive the Holy Spirit’” (John20: 20-21). Just as God gave life by his breathin Genesis 2:7 and Ezekiel 37: 3-5, now bybreathing his Spirit upon them Jesus effects anew creation in and through his disciples. Hecommunicates his Spirit to them for theirmission, and they, in turn, will pass this spiriton to others.

In the Encyclical Pacem in Terris, Blessed JohnXXIII states: “It is Christ, therefore, who broughtus peace”

Mission as Power from the SpiritThis is the title of a chapter in Father DonalDorr’s book Mission in Today’s World in whichhe describes five modes of prophetic power,which come from the Spirit of God. Each modereveals a particular aspect of the prophetic callof the Spirit. I found his ideas helpful inidentifying the mode of my call to bring peace.The following is a very brief summary of thechapter and some of my suggestions as to howit could be applied to the theme of peace. Thereare some ideas for reflection on this topic atthe end of the article.

1. Inspiring Power: People can be inspired bypowerful teaching or preaching. MahatmaGhandi or Nelson Mandela come to mind.2. Empowering Power: This is a facility inhelping people to get in touch with their o w n

strengths. It is a facilitating role that requiresus to be authentically present to others - tolisten, to encourage, to challenge gently, to behonest.3. Fulcrum Power: The use of this style ofpower from the Spirit requires the expenditureof very little energy. It may just mean taking astand for peace in some public way, e.g. byvoting, by joining a group, by signing apetition.4. Flowing Power: This is the ability to flowwith life, to be so in tune with nature, withpeople and with the world around us, that thingsfall into place in a very easy and organic way.One of the skills here is to discern whether whatwe are doing at the moment is bringing peace.5. Yielding Power: This is knowing when togive up with dignity. It means knowing when tolet go of being right, to say sorry, to stay silent,to give up the struggle.

In seeking ways to bring peace, it is alwaysnecessary to pray and to trust. Here is someadvice from our Founder, Pierre BienvenuNoailles:

“One word only from Jesus is enough to calmthe waves of a troubled sea. Let us ask him forthis precious word and keep on asking untilwe have obtained it. But while we are waitingfor it to come and console us, let us not yield todiscouragement. We must hold on tightly to thehand of Our Divine Master and not let go,whatever happens because he knows how todraw good from evil and turn everything to hisglory. So, be generous with Him , and abandonyourself unreservedly to his Divine Providence”.(Letter to Sr. Perlia, 20 Jan 1829)

The Power of the WordAs I struggle for words in this moment I amstruck by the thought of how important theyare in the struggle to attain inner peace, peacein our relationships and peace in the world. DagHammarskjold in Markings has this to say ofthe word:

“Respect for the word is the first commandmentin the discipline by which one can be educatedto maturity - intellectual, emotional and moral.Respect for the word – to employ it withscrupulous care and an incorruptible heartfelt

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love for truth – is essential if there is to be anygrowth in a society or the human race.”

Word with a capital letter has a differentmeaning. Here is Father Thomas Berry, an eco-theologian, writing about the Word in theprologue to the Gospel of Saint John: “SaintJohn tells us that in the beginning all thingstook on their shape through the Word. TheWord was seen as psychic and personal. Thiswas the numinous reality through which allthings were made and without which was madenothing that has been made. The Word, theself-spoken Word by its own spontaneities,brought forth the universe and established itselfas the ultimate norm of reality and value. (TheDream of the Earth)

‘The Dream of the Earth’In this book, Father Berry gives four aspectsof the Peace of Earth.♦ The first aspect of the Peace of Earth isthat it is indivisible. No part of the earth can bethe exclusive concern or possession of anynation.♦ The second aspect of the Peace of Earthis that it is not some fixed condition, but acreative process.♦ A third aspect of the Peace of Earth is itsprogressive dependence on human decision.♦ A fourth aspect of the Peace of Earth, isits hopefulness. The story of the past providesour most secure basis for hope. The difficultyis in the order of magnitude of the change thatis required of us.

Τhe chapter ends with these lines:“The dream of the earth: Where else can wego for the guidance needed for the task that isbefore us.”

I am reminded of the dream of our Founder:“In my dream, The Holy Family appeared tome like a great tree, a kind of oak with verdantbranches: in it were seen flowers and fruits ofall seasons: there were birds of every colour,

from every country: each species had its ownsong, but every now and then they formed onesingle voice and in perfect harmony theyseemed to say,‘Glory to God, glory to God alone, and allthrough Mary.’”

“And sings the tune without the words,And never stops at all,”“Hope is the thing with feathersThat perches in the soulAnd sings a tune without the words,And never stops at all,”...

These lines from Emily Dickinson’s poem Hopeconvey something of my experience of innerpeace. I touched a moment of such a peacewhile at Mass on the Second Sunday afterChristmas. There was a crib in front of the altar.During Mass a toddler was continuouslywandering around in front of the altar. Whenthe bell rang for the consecration, she kneltdown in front of the image of the Baby Jesusand remained there until the Eucharistic prayerwas over. I was deeply moved. I felt happy andhopeful without quite knowing why. “Peace Ileave with you; my peace I give you. I do notgive to you as the world gives.” (John 14:27)

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Conclusion“As a Family on mission, living in differentsituations, in the diversity and complementarityof our vocations we commit ourselves to:• promote human dignity• respect the diversity of cultures,• work for a “new world” by concern for

justice and peace• safeguard the integrity of creation”(Congress Declaration Martillac 2002)

This sentence from the declaration has beenthe backdrop for the direction of this article.This has been a way of situating the title,“Peace is Possible”, firmly in the present andin the Holy Family of Bordeaux.

Questions for reflection

It is through the power of the Holy Spirit that we bring peace.

1. What do you think is your mode of bringing peace?

2 In what mode are you growing at the moment?

3. Can you give examples of each of the modes from the Gospels?

4. Can you think of people you know who use each of the modes of peacemaking?

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At the Wellsprings of our Spirituality

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PEACE IN NAZARETHPEACE IN NAZARETHPEACE IN NAZARETHPEACE IN NAZARETHPEACE IN NAZARETHAND IN THE FOUNDER’SAND IN THE FOUNDER’SAND IN THE FOUNDER’SAND IN THE FOUNDER’SAND IN THE FOUNDER’SWRITINGSWRITINGSWRITINGSWRITINGSWRITINGS

A member of the Secular Institute (Spain)

Before writing a few ideas about peace, Iwould like to create silence around meto be able to listen profoundly and hear

the words of the great silence of Nazareth.Hearing the interior dialogue of Jesus, Maryand Joseph with their God will give us the keyto the peace of these three people; theeloquent silence of each one of them.

Joseph, the unknown one, carries out his work,his mission. He accepts hislot. He must respond, nomatter what it may demand,because it is what Godwants, and he accepts God’splans. Day by day he fulfilshis obligations, does his workand lives his relationship withJesus and Mary.

Jesus is subject inobedience. The Father hasgiven him a mission and helives in the family of Nazarethlike any other child. He is justone more among us.

In the eyes of the world Marydoes not do anything great.She lives out God’s will inacceptance, service and self-giving.

At the moment of the Incarnation the dialoguebetween God and humanity is accomplishedin personal intimacy, a dialogue between Godand a young girl. God reveals himself inintimacy and provokes a response: the ‘YES’that makes us persons and enables us totransmit God’s desire by creating peace aroundus. This is a living peace not that of thecemetery; a peace that seeks both individualand collective well-being; peace that bestowsdignity and gives meaning to our freedom.

Returning to Nazarethand without ceasing tocontemplate, let usallow ourselves to befilled with their spirit,their very humanefeeling of compassion.They live justly andallow themselves beaffected by whathappens to thosearound them. They arejust one more familyamong the others.Their life is simple,nothing triumphal orshowy, no instantefficacy. They lived inpeace and gave peaceto others by theiroutlook on life, their

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generosity, love, self-giving and compassion.They did not do great things, they lived greatthings quite naturally - they lived in God’s peaceand spread it to others, in the silence of faiththat leads to action.

In Selected Texts No. 266, the Good Fathertells us: “Prayer, silence and work reign inNazareth and make it a dwelling place of peaceand holiness.”

Pierre Bienvenu Noailles lived immediately afterthe French Revolution and was very sensitiveto the situation of his time. He wished to helpall those who suffered, either spiritually ormaterially, the consequences of it. His self-giving sprang from this desire and thus theAssociation was born. At that time, what wasmost needed was peace, security, a friendlyhand offered to those in pain. God’s spirit useshuman means, human talents. PierreBienvenu’s charity overflowed and his lively andsure words filled those who heard them withpeace and gentleness.

What was this peace of Nazareth for the GoodFather? What did he mean by peace? Onseveral occasions he spoke of it: letters to theSisters, sermons, retreats. In very differentways he tells us that peace, for him, meansdoing God’s will and peace is to trust in GodAlone.

Once he said “Peace dwells in a society that isalive,” and he asked us to be instruments ofpeace. On another occasion he counselled asister telling her: “Gentleness is the loveliestexpression of Christian charity: nourish it andmaintain unity and peace…” (Letter to Sr.Agnes 1858) Peace that is rooted in God, urgesus on to action and justice. The line the GoodFather takes is always prayer and reflection andthen action. We can read the advice in all hiswritings to pray and create interior peace withoneself before the Lord and only then try toresolve problems. He wanted justice that wascharity. The peace that comes from living for

God Alone leads him to God Alone in his Works,always supposing that they are necessary forthe glory of God and the good of his neighbour– the needy of that time. God Alone in all hisresponses, God Alone in his desire. Living thespirit of God Alone.

What did peace mean for Pierre BienvenuNoailles? Let us remember the beginnings andwhat happened in St Andrew’s cathedral.Bienvenu went in to pray before the statue ofOur Lady of Carmel. What happened to him?He received a gratuitous gift from God; he felthis soul filled with heavenly delights. God hadtaken possession of his soul and peace reignedin him.

In the ideological and moral chaos andconfusion of today, we need to remember hislife again, his wishes. What he would say to ustoday in the 21st century, “Be bearers of peacewherever you go.” Be human; walk with thedisciples of Emmaus so that as the day beginsto decline your heart burns more and morebecause Jesus walks with you.

The work of living the Gospel is simply that ofliving conformed to Christ, sowing a life ofpeace so that the Reign of God will grow like agrain of mustard seed or the yeast in the flour.(Mt. 13:31)

Our path is a path that helps us, and others, todiscover the immensity of God, becoming moreand more aware of the situation of the worldand the relativity of all things. It helps us hearthe Word of God that reveals his mercy to us.In Eph. 2:13-18 Paul reminds us that in themidst of a society destroyed by perpetualconflict, Christ is living and we, like Jesus, mustbring the good news of peace.

Life teaches us to go through the world withour eyes open. Our environment needsserenity, the peace that gives security, and tobe looked at with the merciful eyes of Jesus.

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A Family Shares

DO WE KNOW WHATWE ARE SAYING?

Many years ago, I read a book called“Au nom de tous les miens” by MartinGrey, a Jewish survivor of the World

War II Holocaust. I do not know whether it hasan English title, but roughly translated, it means“In the name of all my dear ones” It relates thehorrors of the Warsaw ghetto, the concentrationcamps, the gas chambers, and his amazingfight for survival, his determination to live forthe sake of all those whom he had lost. Hecame out of that experience with a deepunderstanding of human behaviour, and thedepths of violence and depravity to which wecan sink. One of the convictions that Greyshared in his book has always remained withme. He said that the Nazis were not beasts,not especially evil or wicked. They were humanbeings in extraordinary situations, and whatthey did, we are all capable of. I rememberthinking that it was much easier to blame andto condemn, to think of the Nazis as theincarnation of all that was brutal, than torecognize that deep within myself lurks a realmof darkness, and given similar circumstances,I could be just as cruel as torturers,executioners, and the silent ones who didnothing for fear of their own lives.

Later, Mahatma Gandhi’s autobiographyillumined for me the principles and the powerof non-violence: the same kind of non-violencelived by Jesus, who absorbed the evil aroundHim into His own person, who did not resist,who transformed the world by his “obedienceunto death”. In my experience, however, thereis a huge gap between believing in theprinciples of non-violence, being “for peace”,

and “anti-war”, and living non-violently in theday to day. When we sing, “Let there be peaceon earth, and let it begin with me”, I amconscious that, if peace and non-violenceincreases in me, it increases in the world.Unfortunately, the reverse is also true! Overthe years, awareness has grown of the angerthat I carry within me, and express much moreoften, and much more inappropriately, than Ilike to admit. I now recognize many of the thingsthat trigger anger in me, like petty bureaucracy,arrogance, U.S. Foreign Policy, being spokento harshly or roughly – or not being spoken toat all! When I catch myself making criticalcomments while watching T.V. or respondingto people with irritation or sarcasm; when I findthat I am judgmental and unwilling to listen;when I want to tell my community – and thewhole world – what “should be done”, I knowthat the violence in me is very deep-rooted, andincreases the violence in our world. Like

Sr. Eithne Hughes (Philippines)

everyone else on the planet, I have my own“issues”. But I also have the conviction that Iam more than my past, and the faith to believethat Our God leads us in ways which can helpus to draw on the grace of the Resurrection,the ultimate triumph over sin and death.Alongside my “realm of darkness”, there is apool of light and the darkness shall notovercome it!

Over the years, anything to do with non-violence caught my interest, and so it was that,in 2002, I was happy when Vivian Fernandopassed on to me a copy of a book on “Non-Violent Communication”, which came by wayof Sri Lanka. As I read and reflected on thecontents, it became apparent that here was asimple – though not easy – way of movingtowards non-violence in my life. The GeneralChapter of ’99 had given us the Decree onRevitalizing our Community Life, with itsemphasis on LISTENING, so dear to the heartof our beloved Joy; this book could give ussome pointers on how to move towards whatwe wanted to live.

Here in the Philippines, we are part of a societythat is warm, friendly, and sets much store byrelationships and getting along with oneanother. And yet, there are more murders percapita in Manila than there are in New York.With this over-patient people, when anargument finally erupts into anger, lethalweapons immediately come into play. Theyouth, exposed as they now are to theexcesses of poor-quality media, are imbibingthe culture of violence on a daily basis. Theincidence of physical and sexual abuse ofwomen is always on the increase. Militarisation,war in Muslim Mindanao, kidnap for ransom,widespread drug addiction and human rightsabuses cry out for people who live communionand non-violence. Even if we in the Holy Familyhad never had a Corporate Commitment, orChapter Decrees asking us to build a Cultureof Peace and to LISTEN in order to buildcommunion, our mission in the Philippines

compassion.

So it was that when Marshall Rosenberg’s bookon Non-Violent Communication (NVC) cameinto our hands, we in our Delegation were readyfor it. The ground had already been preparedby our contact with the people, and by theoptions taken at General and Local level byour Institute. In our communities, we studiedchapters of the book, and came together as aDelegation to present to one another what wehad learned. This was done in as creative away as possible, and amidst the seriousnessand the laughter of the dramatizations, thegames, and the reflections, we learnt manythings about ourselves, and about some of themost important Do’s and Don’ts of NVC. Somemonths later, we were able to go more deeplyinto NVC with the help of Fr. Aloy Vanderwall,aJesuit from Sri Lanka, providentially visitingthe Philippines at the time, with just enoughfree days to work with us and some otherinterested lay people and Religious to whomwe opened the workshop.

We ended with an option, on the part of eachone, to put NVC into practice in her life. It hasgiven us a common language, a common wayof understanding the mechanics of how wecommunicate and wish to communicate withone another; it has helped in interpersonalconflicts; on the level of animation, it has giventhe leaders a way in which to approach themore sensitive areas of the Sisters’ lives withouthurting or upsetting them. We have a very longway to go, and all too often we slip once moreinto the old familiar, careless ways. But we havecriteria against which we can measure the levelof violence in our interpersonal relationships;we have acquired skills in communicating. Now,perhaps, the challenge for us is to move thisway of speaking from the realm of somethingto be used on special occasions, or in times ofcrisis, and let it become the way of life that it ismeant to be.

What follows will be a sharing of the salientpoints of NVC, just to whet your appetite!

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would have challenged us to non-violence and

Rosenberg tells us,

“Thus, part of NVC is to express these fourpieces of information very clearly, whetherverbally or by other means. The other aspectof this communication consists of receiving thesame four pieces of information from others.We connect with them by first sensing whatthey are observing, feeling, and needing, andthen discover what would enrich their lives byreceiving the fourth piece, their request.

As we keep our attention focused on the areasmentioned, and help others to do likewise, weestablish a flow of communication, untilcompassion manifests naturally… It isimportant, however, to realize that NVC does

not consist of a set formula, but adapts tovarious situations as well as personal culturalstyles…when we use it in our interactions, -with ourselves (NB!) with another person, or ina group, we become grounded in our naturalstate of compassion. It is therefore an approachthat can be applied to al levels ofcommunication and in diverse situations….”

Interested? This is only a fraction of the contentof the book, and does not adequately conveythe challenge of NVC. Find out how violent yourcommunication is (and we have all learnt to bejudgmental in our speech) by logging on to thewebsite of the Center for NonviolentCommunication: www.cnvc.org ! It is worth thevisit.

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The NVC MODEL: four components

1. ObservationsObserve what is actually happening in a situation – what are weobserving others saying or doing that is either enriching or not enrichingfor our life.Articulate the observation without introducing any judgment orevaluation(this non-judgment is vital!! Labeling and categorizing do greatharm in this kind of communication…even when we say, “you always dothis, you never do that”, we are expressing a judgment with the wordsalways and never..) State how we feel when observing this action: hurt,scared, amused, irritated, etc.. we are responsible for our own feelings.The other cannot “make” us feel any emotion. Our own needs andinterpretations are usually at the root of what we feel.

2. FeelingsState how we feel when observing this action: hurt, scared, amused,irritated, etc.. we are responsible for our own feelings. The other cannot“make” us feel any emotion. Our own needs and interpretations areusually at the root of what we feel.

3. Needs What needs of ours are connected to the feelings we have identified?

4. Requests Express what we are wanting from the other person thatwould enrich our lives or make life more wonderful for us. An example ofthis kind of communication could be, “When you kept your light on until11pm, (observation of fact) I felt tense and irritated, (owns own feelings)because I needed to sleep early, (expresses what she needs)and I amunable to sleep if the light enters my room. Would you be willing to useyour table light in future, because that would not shine into my room?(requests what would make life better…)

NAZARETH - A SCHOOLFOR CREATING PEACE

Contemplative Community, Posadas (Argentina)

“Our contemplative life expresses the Church’s desire to follow her Lord to the desert where, inthe nakedness of faith, and only in God, she can satisfy all hunger and thirst.” (RPC 169)

Together as a community, faithful to ourcommitment to peace and aware of theviolence that in many forms threatens our

world, we go to meet our Lord, source of truepeace. At the Eucharist, a privileged momentin our day, we are blessed with his peace,strengthened and sent to build it in ourcommunity for the life of the world.

The words the prophet Jeremiah addressed tothe men and women of his time sound soappropriate today. “They say peace, peace andthere is no peace.” The word of God makes usmore and more sensitive to the voice of theLord speaking to our heart as he spoke toMoses from the bush: “I have seen the afflictionof my people.” This is a God of peace and love,who after the passion of his beloved Son,appears to us again to say “Peace be with you.”

We feel very deeply this urgency to announcethe Reign of peace and justice for all peoplewhom the Lord loves. However, we also knowthat we do not always have this peace dwellingin us. We are continually falling and getting upagain to throw ourselves on his infinite mercy,humbly hoping to be purified and pacified.

“Peace is one of the most precious treasuresthat a contemplative community can share withits brothers and sisters in the whole world” (G.M.Columbás)

Christ is our PeaceWe make these words of St Paul ourconfession of faith. We believe that Christbrought us the salvation and peace that comefrom God. His obedience to the Father led himto offer his life to reconcile us with God, re-establishing peace by his blood poured out on

the cross, thus breaking down the walls thatseparated peoples. (Eph. 2:14) We are herein the Monastery because he called us to beand to live close to the Source. Our life is hiddenwith Christ in God; with Jesus we turn our eyesto the world, allowing the peace that we havereceived to radiate and reach all hearts. Silenceand solitude, contemplation and union withGod, help us to go into the depth of his Mystery.“Our heart will not find peace and happinessuntil in rests entirely in Jesus.” (P.B.N.)

If it all seems so simple, why is it so difficult forus? Peace is God’s gift and our task. We donot always go looking for it along a gospel path;instead we go in search of the peace that theworld gives, with no conflicts, that prefers notto disturb, “leaving well enough alone.” We willnot find this peace in our community. The peacethat Jesus brings demands beginning the pathfrom our own heart. Confronting our own truthwill bring us face to face with what we reallyare and what we carry: wheat and chaff, graceand sin, wolf and lamb. This is a path ofpatience and humility, a true spiritual combat,a path of renunciation and detachment, ofvigilance and truth that allows us to recognisethe violence of “my own heart,” bringing me toa trusting abandonment to the goodness andmercy of God. We believe that living in thiscontinual conversion will necessarily involve usin the process of peace.

Architects of PeaceOur Monasteries are the house of God. Thedwelling place of the Holy Family is opened upto us in order to teach us how to live accordingto the heart of God.(…)The Family of Nazarethis our source of inspiration,” a gentle light, apacifying presence, a humble and discreet call

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at the heart of the world. (Meeting Point 1997)In times of light and peace our community liferadiates the joy of communion: sisterlymeetings that give us a foretaste of Trinitarianhappiness. Sometimes the people who cometo our Monastery want to “set up a tent” here;their way of expressing that they perceive inus a peace and joy that only God can give. Weknow, however that the love lived at the heartof our community is always the result of astruggle. The peace that we give is the resultof a unification and pacification that happenswhen we go out of ourselves to meet Christ,who is the foundation and centre of our life.He himself asks us to disarm our heart to givehis peace access to us and among us, evenwhen it is difficult or almost impossible humanlyspeaking.

We believe in the fruitfulness of peace. We areconvinced that it is built up by starting with smallthings; specific humble acts throughout the day,carried out in the simple Nazareth-life. We havethe celebration of the Eucharist at the beginningof our day and that nourishes us for the daythat has just dawned. Union with Christ enablesus to see our day realistically, with faith, hopeand charity. It gives us a thrust of love andpeace that leads us, like Jesus, to overcomeconflict, live mutual forgiveness andthanksgiving for the victory of love.

“We want our community to become a spaceof mutual esteem and compassion, of freedomand peace.” (Vicariate Commitment 1998)

Those who work for peace sow peace (Jas.3:18). In the light of our Corporate and VicariateCommitments we try to be attentive andsensitive to the heartrending cry of humanitycalling for peace. In the Sermon on the MountJesus said that those who work for peace areblessed and will be called children of God. Thissame call comes from our charism ofcommunion and actively involves us as acommunity. Together we discern what wereceive as information, especially that of theInstitute and the Church and we try to see whatwe can do in the different situations.

The different calls “to build peace” leads us toask ourselves, Does our community truly livedeeply the Mystery of communion and radiatepeace, harmony and fullness that is onlypossible to find in Him? Our commitment isalways recommencing along the path ofconversion. We believe then, that peace ispossible; we believe that we are experiencingat present what we desire and pray for theworld: Visit us with your peace and we willrejoice wholeheartedly in your presence.”(Psalm 105)

“Acquire interior peace and thousands ofpeople around you will be saved.” These wordsof St Seraphin of Sarov express very well howto live God’s passion for humanity and thefruitfulness of contemplative life. May this beour contribution to bringing about the peace ofChrist in the heart of the world, the Church andour Family.

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SEEDS OF PEACE INEVERYDAY LIFE

A Consecrated Secular (Latin America)

When we speak of peace we usuallythink of it as the opposite of war.However, ‘peace’ also means a

peaceful way of life, that is, of non-violence,dialogue, friendly relationships and many otherhabits that lead us to peace in our lives. All thismight be a desirable state of life, but as longas differences between powerful andunderdeveloped, rich and poor countries exist,the reality will be far from what we want.

I live in Latin America where there is no armedwar at present. Even so there are other kindsof wars – the product of injustice, poverty,marginalisation, discrimination and much more.In this situation it is difficult to live in peace andeven more so to speak of peace. I spent mychildhood in Argentina and later from my youthonwards lived in Paraguay, two differentcultures. Both countries, (as also the rest ofSouth America) are going through very difficulteconomic and social situations at present. Badgovernments, poor administration, corruption,and excessive ambition have brought about anunequal distribution of riches, creating an ever-growing gap between rich and poor, or ratherbetween poor and rich because there are morewho have less and less who have more.

Since joining the Holy Family Association, Ihave tried to respond to the call of the Lordsaying to me “I have seen the humiliation ofmy people...I have heard their cry...See then Isend you...” When I try to respond, Who amI…I feel that his covenant is permanent andthat he is saying to me, “I am with you” (Exod.3: 7-12). This certainty of his presence hashelped me to live as a consecrated secularamong my brothers and sisters, struggling toawaken them to a life of greater dignity,supporting initiatives and sharing in the humangrowth that comes about when efforts arepooled and we work as a community.

In the district where I live the people are verypoor. What is more, close at hand there aresquatters, whole families who have builtprecarious dwellings and settled on fiscal land.In this situation there are many shaky lifesituations, without even the minimumnecessary for dignified living. Obviously withthis lack of what is necessary, the people andthe children are hostile and suspicious ofanyone who approaches them. In this kind ofconditions, we must work to give them a sensethat they belong to society and are equallyuseful in it when they collaborate and add theirefforts to the common task.

In recent years I have participated andaccompanied closely two neighbourhood-teams set up for different reasons and withdifferent goals. In the first, the aim was to createa neighbourhood policing post to respond tothe clamour of the local people, victims of muchsocial insecurity, where house and streetrobberies were daily events, as well as cold-blooded murder, not always motivated byrobbery. We worked shoulder to shoulder andsucceeded in setting up and maintaining thispost.

The other group, which is more recent, had asits aim to mobilize the community, make themaware of the precarious state of the local HealthCentre and the need to support it. We managedto get the authorities responsible involved, andtoday the Health Centre has been rehabilitatedwith additions to the building and professionalequipment.

In both cases I was able to see how it is possibleto ‘improve the masses’ by ordinary everydayactions, and in the words of John Paul II “launchout into the deep” (NMI) with no fear of wavesthat might overwhelm us. It is difficult toconscientise people for a common task. On the

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one hand, one has to struggle with despair inmany cases and on the other, passivity andcomfort not to mention the lack of self-esteemwhich brings with it a sense of inferiority, evento the point of being convinced that this is whatthe deserve; that it is ‘God’s will’ or even worse‘a punishment from God.’

Convinced that God gave us life and ‘life inabundance’ I brought my faith and efforts tobear, believing that something could be doneto help to create mutually the awareness thatGod loves us and “sees the suffering of hisPeople…” and that God is with us.

Although difficult in the beginning, theobjectives have been reached and results arevisible in a community that is happy; peoplewho know that they are children of God andcapable of doing something because they areaccompanied by he who said: “I will be withyou even to the end of time.” (Mt. 28:20

These discoveries, this new experience ofpeople who open themselves to the concernsof the community, do not happen by talking tothem directly about God, but by helping themto get organised and become part of one orother of the groups. In these groups it is madequite clear that neither politics nor religion mustbe obstacles for joining. No one will have anexcuse for feeling marginalized. However, thetruth is that several believing persons have told

me that they felt God present in the brother orsister who took part in the struggle with them.Surely this war with bullets or bombs is lesstraumatic, it does not leave anyone dead.Nevertheless it is a strong and painfulexperience because it creates the ‘dead‘ in life.

We are beginning to experience ‘awakenings’to new life, thank god. I believe that “the newheavens and new earth” are becoming a realityeven though there are still some Pharaohs whowant to continue subjecting and oppressing thepeople. These Pharaohs are both national andinternational, and continue oppressing LatinAmerican peoples in many ways.

Surely our Founder would smile at seeing hisFamily spread throughout the world, sharingthe joys and pain, the difficulties and advancesin the struggle for a more just world where thedignity of everyone is respected. This is thebuilding of the “new society” that was his dream,which today we are demanded not only topreserve but also to deepen and develop.

In their time, Jesus, Mary and Joseph alsostruggled for a more just world. On variousoccasions Jesus said, “peace be with you.”They did everything from their hidden life inNazareth; today I do so from the discretion ofmy vocation, “living in the world without beingof it.” (Paul VI)

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At the dawn of the resurrection Jesusbrought a message of peace to hisapostles seized by fear after his

obligatory and saving death on the cross. Thissearch for peace animated Pierre BienvenuNoailles at the end of the French Revolution.

His charism was the spirit of peace thatgathered into one large family, priests, womenreligious and lay people from all over the world.In a world where terrorism, sickness, wars, andfamine reduce human beings to subhumanconditions, out country, the DR Congo is notspared these scourges. Four years of war ywaged by our neighbours, misery of all kindssuch as families displaced, women buried alive,children forcibly enlisted in the army, girls rapedand churches profaned to mention a few.

We have experienced a State without laws orrights. In our day, a glimmer of hope and peaceis being reborn with attempts at dialogue, thepressure of the international community andthe conscientisation of the churches. AsAssociates of the Holy Family we work for

peace. Priests sisters, and laity group togetherto proclaim peace where we are. When we visitwidows, the sick, the elderly, the orphans, andfamilies displaced and separated by war it is togive peace.

It is also my way of mediating between peoplein conflict with one another. I need first of all tobe converted myself by acknowledging mylimitations and weaknesses before openingmyself to others in dialogue and evangelicalnon-violence. It is acknowledging my rights andduties. It is adding a dose of conscience forthe good of all in my workplace.

It is difficult, of course. But it is a treasure to begained if we want the DR Congo to become alawful State once more. Our struggle is not justagainst war but also against violence, injusticeand all forms of deceit. Let us be builders ofpeace as Sainte Francis of Assisi said. Let ushold hands to give the world the peace of theLord.

Mbembe Leonard

BUILDING PEACE in theDR CONGO

Mbembe Léonard and Pierrot Gamushi Lay Associates, (D.R. Congo)

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“My peace I give you.”

These words of Christ reported by Johnthe evangelist, the beloved disciple, arevery rich. They challenge us all.

Saint Paul in his day had already understoodthem and he exhorted the faithful of Rome inthese terms: “Work for peace and for whathelps us to grow together” (Rom 14, 19). It isthe apostolate that our Lay Associates in theDR Congo exercise in our country so that thepopulation may live in peace.Whoever seeks peace seeks Jesus, the Masterof true peace. Jesus want us to grow to hisstature, that is, to live in peace, the peace thatJesus gives us with his own life. He gives it tous for the glory of God and the salvation of thehuman race. To receive the peace of Christ isto agree to give Jesus his proper place in ourhearts.

Through baptism the associate, like every otherChristian, receives the noble and exaltedmission of spreading the peace of Christ in theworld. And so with Saint Paul we say, “the layassociates of the Congo want to destroy thewall of separation and hatred so that the twoworlds may become one” (Eph 2, 14).

the lay associates undertake concrete actionsto cultivate a lasting peace in view of buildinga better world. They organise sessions offormation, days of recollection and retreats onthe theme, “dialogue, a way of liberation andpeace”. We give here some concrete actions:♦ reconciliation of divorced couples♦ uniting families torn apart by chronicconflicts due to disputes over forest orcustomary power♦ uniting conflicting parties, tribes torn apartby war and/or tribal hatred.

In all these actions they focus their attentionon the family, the basic cell of the church andhuman society. They would like Congolesefamilies and lay associates to live in peace andimitate the Holy Family of Nazareth, Jesus,Mary and Joseph.

Among the strategies of the lay associates ofthe Congo dialogue occupies the first place.Dialogue is and remains the best way tocultivate peace. To achieve it we mustconstantly look to the Holy Family of Nazarethand rely on the intercession of the Virgin Mary,Queen of lasting Peace.

Pierrot Gamushi

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Among so many other Christians of the Congo

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The deadly scourge of terrorism8. Today international law is hard pressed to provide solutions to situations of conflict arisingfrom the changed landscape of the contemporary world. These situations of conflict frequentlyinvolve agents which are not themselves States but rather entities derived from the collapse ofStates, or connected to independence movements, or linked to trained criminal organizations. Alegal system made up of norms established down the centuries as a means of discipliningrelations between sovereign States finds it difficult to deal with conflicts which also involveentities incapable of being considered States in the traditional sense. This is particularly thecase with terrorist groups.

The scourge of terrorism has become more virulent in recent years and has produced brutalmassacres which have in turn put even greater obstacles in the way of dialogue and negotiation,increasing tensions and aggravating problems, especially in the Middle East.

Even so, if it is to be won, the fight against terrorism cannot be limited solely to repressive andpunitive operations. It is essential that the use of force, even when necessary, be accompaniedby a courageous and lucid analysis of the reasons behind terrorist attacks. The fight againstterrorism must be conducted also on the political and educational levels: on the one hand, byeliminating the underlying causes of situations of injustice which frequently drive people tomore desperate and violent acts; and on the other hand, by insisting on an education inspired byrespect for human life in every situation: the unity of the human race is a more powerful realitythan any contingent divisions separating individuals and people.

In the necessary fight against terrorism, international law is now called to develop legalinstruments provided with effective means for the prevention, monitoring and suppression ofcrime. In any event, democratic governments know well that the use of force against terroristscannot justify a renunciation of the principles of the rule of law. Political decisions would beunacceptable were they to seek success without consideration for fundamental human rights,since the end never justifies the means.

The contribution of the Church9. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God” (Mt 5:9). How could thissaying, which is a summons to work in the immense field of peace, find such a powerful echo inthe human heart if it did not correspond to an irrepressible yearning and hope dwelling withinus? And why else would peacemakers be called children of God, if not because God is bynature the God of peace? Precisely for this reason, in the message of salvation which theChurch proclaims throughout the world, there are doctrinal elements of fundamental importancefor the development of the principles needed for peaceful coexistence between nations.

History teaches that the building of peace cannot prescind from respect for an ethical andjuridical order, in accordance with the ancient adage: “Serva ordinem et ordo servabit te” (preserveorder and order will preserve you). International law must ensure that the law of the morepowerful does not prevail. Its essential purpose is to replace “the material force of arms with themoral force of law”, providing appropriate sanctions for transgressors and adequate reparationfor victims. This must also be applicable to those government leaders who violate with impunityhuman dignity and rights while hiding behind the unacceptable pretext that it is a matter ofquestions internal to their State

XXXVII World Day for PeaceXXXVII World Day for PeaceXXXVII World Day for PeaceXXXVII World Day for PeaceXXXVII World Day for PeaceExtract from the message of Pope John Paul llExtract from the message of Pope John Paul llExtract from the message of Pope John Paul llExtract from the message of Pope John Paul llExtract from the message of Pope John Paul ll

Family News

RELIGIOUS INSTITUTE

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Commemorating together

On 18 December 2003 the Religious Institute celebrated the 100th

anniversary of the pontifical approbation of its Constitutions. Itwas an occasion of great joy prepared in prayer and reflection

by all the Holy Family sisters worldwide. In Rome, the high point of theday was a Eucharistic celebration in St. Peter’s Basilica at the apostle’stomb. A special message of congratulation and encouragement fromthe Pope was read at the end of Mass.

The members of the other vocations of the Family of Pierre BienvenuNoailles were very present to the religious sisters at that time. Theirpresence at many of the celebrations in different countries and themessages of congratulation and communion that arrived at theGeneralate are ample proof of our family ties.

We face the future with the words of Sr. Margaret Muldoon’s prayer in our minds and hearts:

Come Holy Spirit, bless us as we bless each other, and lead usto places we would rather not go.Expand the horizons of our imagination; awaken in us theneeded and perhaps risky dreams of a new tomorrow.Rekindle in our hearts the fire of prophetic enthusiasm, so thatour Institute may continue to be a sacred place where God andwomen meet.We are carriers of a new vision that is the Trinity’s dream for usto be creative, faithful, loving and free.We are called to be women of the Gospel, committed toconversion in our effort to become a community of disciples onmission, who live simply, love tenderly and act justly, thusforming relationships that build circles of communion so that allmay be one.Amen.

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Going forward to Botswana

In response to a long standing invitation fromBishop Frank Nubuasah SVD, ApostolicVicar of the Vicariate of Francistown

(Botswana) a Holy Family community wasinstalled at Masunga on 7 June 2003.The placeis situated to the north-east of the country quitenear the border of Zimbabwe. It is a semi-desert, sparsely populated area with muchhuman, material and spiritual poverty. Thepeople are mainly the Bakalanga, a strongthough minority ethnic group in the country.

Since their arrival the sisters have beenlearning Kalanga, the language of the localpeople. They have also become involved inpastoral work in partnership with the priests ofthe parish. The sisters tell us there are manyChristian sects and Catholics are a minority. It

was, therefore, a cause of great joy when, on23 November 2003, 18 people embraced thecatholic faith.

Botswana is said to have the highest rate ofHIV/AIDS in Africa. Our sisters can see forthemselves the ravages of the illness with manypeople dying from or living with the virus. Threeof them participated in an awareness raisingprogramme. It was appreciated by the peopleand will help to overcome the conspiracy ofsilence surrounding the problem.

As is evident, the community is quite isolatedfrom other Holy Family communities and facesmany difficulties. The sisters need our supportin every way, through prayer andcommunication. Their address is:

Holy Family SistersCorpus Christi Catholic MissionP.O. Box 390MasungaBotswana

CONTEMPLATIVE SISTERS

Pastoral Project

The Contemplative Communityof theSolitude, together with the local Christiancommunity, is entering the Pastoral

Project that Archbishop Jean Pierre Ricardproposed to the diocese for the coming fouryears. Last year during a visit to our communityin March Fr. Ricard spoke of this project whileinforming us about other matters relevant tothe life of the Diocese and the world.

He is proposing this Pastoral Project to helpthe diocese advance in its ecclesial life and so

that all may work along the same lines. Eachyear has a special theme. For the first year it isthe CALL, for the second, the WORLD of GOD,for the third, the EUCHARIST and the fourth,SERVICE of NEIGHBOUR.

In community we reflected on how to live thePastoral Project according to our own vocationand then we replied to the questionnaireaddressed to the communities and movementsof the diocese. Sr. Lorette Lafargue, of theapostolic community, who is a member of the

APOSTOLIC SISTERS

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Diocesan Vocations Service, came to speakto us on this subject and left us a magnificentdossier downloaded from the diocesan Internetwebsite containing much information and manyideas for animation this year.

As well as entering into the diocese’s Year ofthe CALL we are living a time of grace with thepreparation of the Vicariate Chapter that willtake place from 3 to 17 September on thetheme, Community of Disciples before God andthe World. With the help of a lectio divina,scripture texts and our constitutions we havedone an in-depth reflection on the concept ofdiscipleship, what it is to be called, to form acommunity and to be sent on mission.

It is not possible to carry the diocese and theprocess it is undertaking in our prayer withoutour own lives being touched. The Archbishophas invited all the members of the diocesanchurch to examine themselves in the light ofChrist’s call to everyone, “Come, follow me” and“Go, I am sending you”.

Just as Sr. Margaret called us in her letter forthe centenary of the Approbation of theConstitutions, Fr. Ricard is calling the Christiansof Bordeaux to show proof of their pastoralimagination and availability to the Spirit. Heinvites the diocesan church to deepen itsresponse to the Risen Christ by being attentiveto a triple proposal to:♦ live our life as a response to the call ofAnother;♦ rediscover the life of a confirmedChristian;♦ dare to call to the priesthood, thediaconate and religious life.

opened the year of the CALL with a Eucharistcelebrated in the cathedral. As a communitywe joined the diocesan process. At theEucharist, celebrated on 31 December at 11p.m. to terminate the year 2003 and welcomethe year 2004, we began with a time of prayerfor peace in the world. At the offertory thenotebooks containing the intentions entrustedto Pierre Bienvenu Noailles were placed at thefoot of the altar and a silhouette of the logo ofthe year of the CALL in polystyrene was putstanding before the altar behind the Child Jesusresting on the big open bible.

The glass cabinet outside, near the door of ourchapel, is a reminder of this step taken by thediocese. The Sundays during Christmastidehad each its own call: Christmas, a call to light;the Holy Family, a call to listen; the Epiphany,a call to a way of contemplation; the Baptism,a call to mission.

To link it with the diocese, the celebration ofthe Miraculous Benediction on 8 February atthe Solitude had for theme, The EucharisticMiracle of 3 February 1822: a Call for thepeople of God.

In his homily for the opening Mass of the yearof the CALL, Archbishop Ricard said, “The yearof the CALL is not aimed solely at thefunctioning of the church but the reinforcing ofits spiritual vitality and its apostolic dynamism.It is not so much a question of doing but ofbeing in depth.” May this year be for us all atime of grace. May we respond to the calladdressed by Christ each day in theordinariness of daily life, a call for us asContemplative Sisters of the Holy Family toremain in the depth of its mystery ofcommunion.On Saturday, 22 November, the Archbishop

HOLY FAMILY SECULAR INSTITUTE

Strengthening the bonds of communion

During the year 2003, the Superior General andmembers of her Council visited Sri Lanka,Britain and Ireland. For Sri Lanka it was thefirst visit by a General Councillor since therecognition of the Secular Institute in 1988. Forthe visitor, Eleanor, the members of the Institutein the country and the Apostolic sisters, it wasan historic occasion to be fittingly celebrated.

Arrival in Sri LankaEleanor arrived at Colombo airport on 23January to be welcomed by four of her ownSecular sisters and two Apostolic sisters. Aspart of the wonderfully gracious, lovingwelcome she was presented with a bouquet oforchids. Taking time only for a short rest shemet with the National Superiors of both theirProvinces, Helen Francesca Perera (South)and Benedicta Andrespillai (North).

Visiting the NorthAs early as 24 January she went by plane toJaffna with Benedicta and Helen A’Kattar hfb.She describes the experience as follows: “Evenat the airport outside Jaffna there was a strongmilitary presence. I was met at Jaffna by themembers of the Secular Institute. I wasgarlanded with flowers, blessed and made verywelcome. I stayed at the Holy Family convent,Jaffna, for four days and during that time I wasable to understand more fully what effect thedevastation of a 20-year long war had had onour members in the North. I was deeply touchedby their honesty in describing the effect on themand their families. This meeting was their firsttogether for 10 years.

We spent many hours sharing deeply our faithwith one another, together and individually. I

shared some aspects of our spirituality withthem, the charism, the spirituality of ourFounder, living for God alone, aspects offormation and certain articles of ourconstitutions. I also visited some of the lepersand displaced persons, as well as schools,orphanages and Holy Family convents.”

Eleanor was overwhelmed by the generosityof all, both Seculars and Apostolic sisters. Shewent on to relate that their members in theNorth lead simple faith-filled lives and areinvolved in such activities as teaching,catechetics, receiving pilgrims at the Shrine ofOur Lady of Madhu, aiding displaced persons,giving aid to lepers, working in offices,managing orphanages and pre-schools. Theirdedication impressed her. She was not the onlyone to be struck by this. A certain priest toldher: “These women are a great witness in allthey do”.

CelebrationOn Sunday, 27 January, there was a joyfuldouble celebration: the silver Jubilee ofConcenciammah Nicholapillai and the renewalof vows of Arulsothy Denis.

Back to the SouthThe following day Eleanor and her companionsjourneyed by road from Jaffna to Colombo sothat she could see the devastation of the waron the ground. In Colombo, while staying atBambalapitia convent, she spent four days withthe members of the Secular Institute. Theyspent much time sharing their lives and faithand reflecting on the topics relevant to theirparticular vocation as had been done in the

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North. In the South, too, the members areinvolved in activities similar to those of theirsisters in the North.

It was also possible for Eleanor to visit twomembers who were unable to attend the groupmeetings because of ill-health. She visited mostof the Apostolic communities as well as theContemplative community at Nagoda.

She left Sri Lanka on 2 February, somewhatsad but fil led with joy at the depth ofcommitment of all the members of the HolyFamily Secular Institute in the country. Herprayer is that they will always “go forward” inthe love, peace and joy of Our Lord and SaviourJesus Christ.

Journey to Britain and IrelandFrom 6 – 13 May 2003, Odette and Lucettewere in Ireland and England on a ‘missionaryjourney’. They arrived in Ireland on 6 May to awarm welcome from Myra, another member ofthe Council and Colette Keegan hfb, whoaccompanies the seculars in Ireland. They hadtime for a little sightseeing, evening Mass anda night’s sleep before setting off the followingday for England where they remained until 10May. At Liverpool airport they were met byMarie Sheridan hfb, accompanier to theseculars in England. Joan, one of their

members who was also to meet them, wasunfortunately prevented by illness. They set outfor Crewe, a conference centre run by theOblate Fathers, where they were able to meetand share with Eileen, the second member inEngland. They relied on her to relay it all toJoan. In between sessions they had time forrelaxation and a visit to the Holy Familycommunity at Rock Ferry.

Back in Ireland their first outing was a two-hourjourney to visit Elizabeth, the ailing member,with whom they spent a few hours. On the wayback they called in to see the sisters inNewbridge. Their evening was spent sharingwith Myra and Maria, the other two membersin Ireland. Colette joined them the following day.After a prayer prepared by Colette they sharedon the constitutions, the vow of obedience, thepersonal project, and the spirituality ofcommunion. They tried to see how a communitylife could be lived.

The day of departure arrived. They broughtaway with them many shared joys and the fruitsof exchanges during which many things wereclarified. Thanks to a greater mutualacquaintance they are sure that those daystogether have strengthened their vocation andwill be beneficial for each one.

Definitive CommitmentAnita (Jaffna)Lucy (Peru)

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AcknowledgementsOdette, Lucette and Eleanor remain deeply grateful to the communities of apostolic sistersand the contemplative community in Nagoda who welcomed them so warmly. A specialword of thanks goes to Colette, Marie, and Helen whose availability made it all possible.

Commitments in the Holy Family Secular Institute

First CommitmentsJuana (Peru)Rita Beatrie (Colombo)Thuruselvi (Jaffna)Graziana (Poland)

ASSOCIATES of THE HOLY FAMILY

LAY ASSOCIATESA WAY OF LIFEThe publication of the Statutes of the Holy Family Lay Associates after the Assembly of August 2002 wasan occasion of great joy for them, and indeed for all the members of the Family of P.B. Noailles through-out the world. The Statutes were quickly translated into the languages used by the Associates andceremoniously presented to each one. So that they might become what they are meant to be, a way oflife, steps to facilitate a deeper and ongoing understanding of them were devised according to the needsand means of each locality.

DR CongoNarcisse Intru Muntaba writes that this year theformation and spirituality programme of theassociates is centred around a deep study ofthe Statutes that have been translated into thelocal languages. Their numbers are on theincrease thanks to the life witness of thegroups. One problem they have to face is thedifficulty of contacting certain members in therural areas. Age and lack of means of transportprevent some of them travelling to meetings.

same time, Sr. Leontine Fernando’s 50 yearsof religious life. The bishop of Idiofa presidedat the Eucharist.

CanadaProgramme for 2004At a meeting held in the autumn of 2003 theprogramme for the coming year 2004 wasdrawn up. It is based on A Way of Life, theStatutes, the Congress Declaration and letterof Paul to the Thessalonians. Judith Bouchardtells us that the following themes wereproposed:

• Seek only God Alone• Give one’s life• Opt for justice• Live in peace• Respect cultures• Do Eucharist

After the weekend everyone was full ofenthusiasm at the possibility of enabling othersto be open to the reality that we are a Familyon Mission. The process will continuethroughout the year and maybe beyond. Theywill constantly discover all the richness of theHoly Family charism.

Pastoral involvement of AssociatesThe associate groups participate in differentways in evangelisation. Some are involved inparish life, liturgy, sacramental life, prayer andpresence, visitation of the sick or withhumanitarian organisations. Each one lives hisor her commitment with the same Holy Familyspirit as our Founder wished, listening to theneeds of the world.

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In solidarity with the Religious InstituteOn 21 December 2003 the Associates joinedthe Apostolic Sisters in the celebration of theapprobation of their Constitutions and, at the

Signs of hopeNarcisse relates that Christians who, not solong ago, turned away from one another nowmeet face to face and greet one another. Theinhabitants of the eastern province, the southof the country, who were at war live togetherpeaceably, share their material goods and havecommunal fields. Thanks to VODACOM, theynow have a communications network andcellular phones in the diocese of Idiofa.

Sri Lanka - Colombo

A Jubilee Year

Sister Madonna Fonseka, National Leader forthe Associates, writes about a significant eventin the history of the Lay Associates inSri Lanka.

On 3 June 1979 a seed germinated in Sri Lankathat has produced abundant fruit ever since.The first 19 Lay Associates in ColomboProvince made their commitment in two groups.Now 25 years later there are 329 committedmembers in 35 groups and about 80 candidatesin formation in 10 new groups.

To mark this event a Jubilee year wasinaugurated simultaneously in all the groupson 3 June 2003 with a prayer service and gettogether. The groups were accompanied by theApostolic Sisters in their respective places andthose in Nagoda had the joy of beingaccompanied by the Contemplative Sisters.Photos were taken in all the groups for theJubilee album. A jubilee committee was formedat this time to co-ordinate the year’s celebration.

The Jubilee Year was organised as a stepforward in deepening Holy Family spiritualityand strengthening our faith. The NationalCommittee provided each group with thoughtsto be displayed creatively as a reminder of ourjourney and call. Retreats will be held in somegroups. To mark the anniversary we arepreparing 25 couples to make their commitmenton the Jubilee Day and a souvenir brochuredisplaying the spirit of the Holy Family will bedistributed among members, friends and wellwishers. A Jubilee magazine with articles fromour Associates will be released as well asarticles in national papers and magazines.

The culminating Jubilee Celebration will be heldon June 12 at the Shrine of Our Lady of Lankaat Tewatte when we hope to have the presenceof Sisters and Associates from the twoProvinces, the Continental Leader andrepresentatives of the other vocations in thebig Family.

We fervently solicit the prayerful participationof each and every member of the PBN Familyon this happy occasion.

Sri Lanka - Jaffna

A PBN COTTAGE IN THE HEARTOF A WAR-TORN CITYby Sr. Eudoxie Sebamalai

During the heightof the ethnic warin the NorthernPeninsula, peoplefled the island ofKayts and movedto Jaffna town toescape the

intense bombing and shelling in the islands.They sought shelter and refuge in buildingsthat had already suffered the ravages of war.Among them was the family of Mr. LinusManuelthamby who managed to find a smallcottage to live in. Whenever I visited this familyI would be greatly edified by their life of caringand sharing with those in need and by theamazing incidents that showed the hand of

God in their lives. It was truly inspiring to seethe deep tranquillity and strong family ties thatheld them together in the midst of untoldsuffering, losses and deprivations, and thespirit of self-sacrifice which imbued all theiracts of charity.

Although Linus was a retired governmentservant drawing a pension, he was at that timefinancially hard hit due to the non functioningof the banks. His daughter and son kept thehome fires burning by taking in order forsawing and giving tuition classes. Displacedrefugees flocked to this little abode for theirnames to be registered for rations. Linushimself was hardly ever at home as he wouldbe trekking to Non Governmental

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Linus with his grandson

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Organizations procuring essential food itemsand commodities for the poor refugees, aftermaking known their pathetic conditions. Oneincident made a deep impact on me. Thehusband and head of a young refugee familyhad suddenly died of a brain tumour, leavingthe distraught family utterly helpless. Mr. Linuswent to their rescue immediately and tookcharge of the young widow and two orphans.He did the needful and comforted them bysharing and caring for them. Truly he was aman who lived for others as P.B.N did.

Mr Linus Manuelthamby is one of a family offive. Two of his sisters joined the Holy Familysisters. They are the late Sr. Benigna and thelate Sr. Valentine. His wife too became a HolyFamily Associate in 1978. They were blessedwith eight children, three sons of whom diedunder tragic circumstances, and one daughterdue to a serious illness. They died in the primeof life aged 30, 27, 8 and 16. Two of thesurviving daughters and a son have dedicatedthemselves to the life and service of theirbeloved Founder P.B. Noailles as Holy FamilyLay Associates.

Linus’ family bears a deep love and devotionfor their Venerated Founder PBN Their faithin him is unshakable, even in the most tryingcircumstances, he is their good friend, withwhom they converse as with a family memberand on whom they call for any help. 1 haveheard and seen his assistance to Linus andhis family in remarkable ways. In 1983 hissixteen year old daughter in the throes of aserious stomach ailment was given up by thedoctors. She was offered to P.B.N andrecovered completely within a month. Todayshe is the mother of three children.

Linus was a tireless apostle and devotedfollower of his Guru PBN. Often he could beseen on his push bicycle, peddling miles overroads pot holed by bombing and shelling,braving marshy muddy pathways andinclement winds on his mission of animationof the Holy Family Lay Associates. On onesuch occasion he suffered a stroke which lefthim paralysed and impeded speech. Treatmentwas of no avail. The prognosis was that it was

irreversible. The family once again appealedto PBN Within six months he was back tonormal and resuming his duties and themission of animation.

Again when Linus was participating in theInternational Lay Associates Assembly inMartillac in 2002, word came, that his wife hadbeen diagnosed with cancerous tumour in thewomb and had to undergo major surgery.Linus went down as his knees to PBN Whenall was ready for the operation, the scanrevealed that the tumour had shrunk!Eventually it disappeared entirely. Linus andhis family have been thus privileged to obtainmany wonderful favours through P.B.N’sintercession.

This friend and stalwart of PBN was appointedPresident of the National Committee of theHoly Family Associates of Jaffna Provincesince 1993, and Asian Leader of the HolyFamily Associates since 2001, thus becominga member of the General Council of the LayAssociates and of the “Family Council” of theHoly Family Association. He has had theopportunity of working with three GeneralLeaders: Mary Slaven, Joy Smith andMargaret Muldoon and three Provincials ofJaffna: Marie Joseph, Sophie Bastiampillaiand Ancilla James.

In 2003 Linus and his family celebrated a tripleJubilee. Holy Family Associates and Apostolicgroup of sisters of Jaffna Province accordedthem a special function to thank God for theblessings of the triple Anniversaries: TheGolden Jubilee of their marriage on19.08.2003, his 75th birthday on 01.09.2003and the Silver Jubilee of their commitment asHoly Family Lay Associates on 31.05.2003. Itwas a fitting tribute to the faithful follower ofPBN who lived according to his ideals and inthe sheltering shadow of the Holy Family ofNazareth.

We wish him and his family many more fruitfulyears shedding the light of faith andcommunion bequeathed by our veneratedFounder P.B.N. as a candle burning itself outin self immolation.

“You are the light of the world” – the Hill countryLinus himself has sent the following article

The Holy Family Province of Jaffna engulfsalmost half of Sri Lanka. To facilitate steady

and continuous animation of Lay Associatesthe Province is divided into 12 zones eachcomprising more than 5 groups. The presentstrength of these 43 groups is 508 committedand 360 in formation. Haputale and Matlakellaare two such groups in the Hill country zone.

All these members are workers in the tea andrubber plantations and are semi-literate. It costseven years of hard and constant labour toprepare them for commitment. They are simpleand dedicated. Thirteen young membersincluding 5 couples from Matlakella estate and10 members including 4 couples from HaputaleKahgolle estate committed themselves as Holy

Family Lay Associates on 26 and 28 October2003 respectively during the Eucharisticservices conducted by the Parish Priests of theareas. These events were attended byCatholics and witnessed by non-Catholics ofthese estates.

The Superintendents of those estates paidglowing tribute to the exemplary way of life ofthese Associates and emphasised the fact thatthe tremendous change in their way of life inthe work places and in the community, and theresultant change it has brought in others in theestates, are visible for the past four years.Really it is their contribution “to the building ofa New Society”.

EUROPEAN LEADERS’ MEETINGby Grace Walsh

This meeting took place in the Holy FamilyConvent in Marino, Rome, Italy from 23-

26 August 2003. The purpose of the meetingwas to provide an opportunity for those inleadership in the European countries toshare their hopes and concerns for the LayAssociates in their countries and to plan forthe Third European Assembly which will takeplace in Martillac in July 2004.

There were three days for business and onefor touring. On the first day of work aprsentation was made by each country abuttheir situation under the following headings:♦ General information about the Associatesin the country and about the NationalCommittee♦ How the Congress Declaration had beenreceived♦ How the Statutes had been presentedand received in each country♦ Difficulties♦ Projects for the future.

The second day was devoted to a discussionof differences in economic situations incountries where there are Associates and ofways in which European Associates couldrespond to this.

The third day was devoted to plans for theupcoming European Assembly to take place inMartillac from 5 to 10 July 2004. The generaltheme will be Evangelisation from the point of

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Lay Associate Leaders from Britain, Ireland, France, Spain Italy

view of our Statutes, A Way of Life, and of whowe are as Holy Family Lay Associates. Eachcountry was given responsibility for a topic andfor leading the reflection, prayer and discussionon it. The topics are as follows:

• Article 17 of the Statutes: Disciples sentto Evangelise

• The Chapter of the Statutes entitled, Goto Nazareth

• Seeking God in Daily Life

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PRIEST ASSOCIATES

Meeting of Holy Family Priest Associates

The meeting took place at Kandy, Sri Lanka from 17-20 February 2004. A booklet giving anaccount of this historic and moving occasion will be published shortly by the InternationalCommunication/Information Service. It will be available to all the Family so we shall not give anydetails here.

• Articles 52 and 53 of the Statutes: TheStyle of Life of the Holy Family Associate

• Journeying towards the Future.

The whole meeting was smoothly and efficientlyorganised by the Italian National Committeewho deserve a big vote of thanks. Thanks aredue also to the wonderful community of Sistersat Marino. Finally, a word of gratitude to MaïtéDorronsoro, European Coordinator, whofacilitated the meeting in such a warm andskilful manner.

No. 35 - 2004