WCI Writing Presentation

AdvancedTechnical writingPresenter/Coordinator: David Silverstein

month xx, 20091Overview60-min Presentation (with Q&A)

Introduce WCC Program

Advanced Writing Strategies (50min)Additional Diction ConcernsEmail ConsiderationsVisualization of DataTechnical Report Structure2

WCC ProgramWriting & Communications CenterOne-on-one tutorial210 MortonAny Stevens course, any semester Monday to Thursday 35pm Open late Tues/Thurs 7pm

Walk-ins welcome. Appointments available.

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WCC Program (Cont.)WCC tutors can:Help report style & layoutHelp revise/edit term paperHelp craft bibliography/referencesHelp shape presentations/slidesHelp practice speaking/deliveryAnswer questions about: Grammar, punctuation, syntaxOther writing/communication issues4

WCC Program (Cont.)WCC Workshops for Design Spine Courses:Semester Topics Covered6Introduction to Rhetoric & Writing Strategies Technical Writing Considerations7Advanced Technical Writing & Report WritingIntroduction to Presentation Strategies8Advanced Presentation Strategies WCC Workshop Review5Why?NAE concludes*: Elected representatives are ill-equipped to make decisions about tech-related issues.Students, parents & teachers remain uninformed about engineering and the contributions of the field which continues to deter students from studying engineering.

*Raising Public Awareness of Engineering: National Academy of Engineering, National Academies Press, 2002.

61 Innovation 3 AudiencesCeramic Water Filters

Technological innovation:Used by multiple audiencesVarious business & technical sectors

7Ceramic Water Filters

Consumer LevelLanguage geared to a non-technical audience.Impact tailored to consumer-level audience8Ceramic Water Filters

Contract orBusiness LevelLanguage geared to a business-minded audience.Addresses audiences main concern: cost.9Ceramic Water Filters

TechnicalLevelLanguage geared to a technical audience.Presentation follows technical format.Specific values are highlighted.10Workshop ReviewRhetorical Triangle & Writing ProcessH.E.L.P. Ethos, Logos, PathosInvention, Composition, Revision

Technical Writing ConsiderationsAudience & Tone & DictionAvoid Jargon, Idioms, EuphemismsExplain AcronymsBe Specific & Detailed11Additional Diction Choices12Additional Diction ChoicesFor technical documents, always try to:Avoid Empty & Unnecessary LanguageUse Strong VerbsUse Active Voice Not Passive VoiceMaintain Parallel Structure & Consistency

Especially important when addressing a lay audience.13Diction Empty LanguageGeorge Carlin On Language (2min)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DagVklB4VHQ

14Diction Empty LanguageSomething else we have in common: flying on the airlines, and listening to the airlines announcements, and trying to pretend to ourselves that the language theyre using is really English. Doesnt seem like it to me.

Whole thing starts when you get to the gate. First announcement: We would like to begin the boarding process. Extra word, process, not necessary, boarding is enough. Wed like to begin the boarding. Simple, tells the story. People add extra words when they want things to sound more important than they really are. Boarding process. Sounds important. It isnt. Its just a bunch of people getting on an airplane.

People like to sound important. Weathermen on television talk about shower activity. Sounds more important than showers. I even heard one guy on CNN talk about a rain event. Swear to God, he said, Louisianas expecting a rain event, I thought, Holy shit, I hope I can get tickets to that!

Emergency situation. Newspeople like to say, Police have responded to an emergency situation. No they havent. Theyve responded to an emergency. We know its a situation, everything is a situation.

Anyway, as part of this boarding process, they say, We would like to pre-board. Well, what exactly is that, anyway? What does it mean to pre-board, you get on before you get on?

Thats another complaint of mine: too much use of this prefix pre-, its all over the language now, pre- this, pre- that. Place the turkey in a pre-heated oven. Thats ridiculous, theres only two states an oven can possibly exist in, heated or un-heated! Pre-heated is a meaningless fucking term. Its like pre-recorded, this program was pre-recorded, well of course it was pre-recorded, when else are you gonna record it, afterwards? Thats the whole purpose of recording, to do it beforehand. Otherwise, it doesnt really work, does it?The next sentence I hear is full of things that piss me off. "Before leaving the aircraft, please check around your immediate seating area for any personal belongings you might have brought onboard." Well, let's start with immediate seating area--SEAT! It's a goddamn seat! Check around your seat! "For any personal belongings." Well, what other kinds of belongings are there, besides personal--public belongings? Do these people honestly think I might be traveling with a fountain I stole from the park. "You might have brought onboard." I might have brought my arrowhead collection--I didn't, so I'm not going to look for it! I am going to look for things I brought onboard, which seems to enhance my likelihood of finding something, wouldn't you say?15Diction Empty LanguageAvoid empty words and phrases!Empty Words & Phrasesthat is to sayprovides some clarification ofin spite of the fact that causes the introduction of provides a detailed description offor all intents and purposesin light of the fact thatunder circumstances in whichConcise Equivalent( )clarifiesalthoughintroducesillustrates--sincewhen16Diction Use Strong VerbsAvoid overusing to be & to get:Lack specificity of action Often repetitive & wordy17Diction Shifting TensesTry to maintain same verb tense.Shifting sounds amateurish & confusing

* Excerpted from Spring Into Technical Writing by Barry Rosenberg, p35.

Example*Hurricanes require high sea-surface temperatures. Another requirement was favorable high-level winds. With light winds aloft, hurricanes will gain power.Example RevisedHurricanes require high sea-surface temperatures and favorable high-level winds to gain power.18Diction Active & Passive VoiceJack hit the ball.

The ball was hit by Jack.Thing doing the action (Subject)Thing doing the action (Subject)The action (Verb)Thing acted upon (Object)Thing acted upon (Object)19Diction Active & Passive VoiceUse Active Tense more often.Easier to read, fewer weak verbs80% Active, 20% PassivePassive TenseFittings are secured by welding specialists.A number of things are indicated by these results.Topographical changes were recorded and adjustments were made.Active TenseWelding specialists secured all fittings.These results indicate a number of specific challenges for NASA.Our team recorded topographical changes and adjusted accordingly.20Diction Active & Passive VoiceUse Passive Tense occasionally for bad news:Passive TenseMistakes were made.Over 120 different contaminants have been dumped into the river.Active TenseOur team made mistakes.Someone or some company dumped over 120 different contaminants into the river.Sounds vague, unknown.Sounds disparaging.Subjects (or one doing the action) are not included.21Diction Parallel StructureParallel Structure = same pattern of words to indicate same importanceSentence Not ParallelAs part of our project, Scott spent time researching thermodynamics, calibrating instruments and went to speak with industry leaders.Sentence ParallelAs part of our project, Scott spent time researching thermodynamics, calibrating instruments and speaking with industry leaders.Bulleted List Not Parallel Prepared weekly field payroll Material purchasing and returning Recording OSHA documentation Maintained hard copies of field docsBulleted List Parallel Prepared weekly field payroll Purchased & returned materials Recorded OSHA documentation Maintained hard copies of field docs22Email considerations23hiiiiDavid,

thisisAbnerandHank.Firstofallsorryforthelatereply butduetosomeoftheinconviniencyIammailingthetopictodaysothetopicisCLEANINPLACESYSTEMFOR CLEANINGPHARMACEUTICALPROCESSVESSELS. OK.Wewillmeetyoutodayatthevenuethatyouhave alreadygiven.pleaseforgiveforthelatereply.

ThankingyouSir,I need an appointmint 2 revise. Ghows 2.Bad Email Examples24Email ConsiderationsEmail is not always casual!Use a colon or dash after nameFind recipients nameReader Centered Purpose Statement (RCPS)Spelling counts; Email IM/TextInclude phone number (if needed)Type your name/salutationBe polite, direct & succinct People dont hire you because theyre looking for a cool friend at work. Examples: Hello Dan: Hi Jennifer 25Data Visualization26Visualization of DataSynthesize & reinforce informationProvide faster impactAdd variety & interestVisualIdeal forExampleTablesShowing exact figures/values Organizing written infoBar Charts Comparing findings &Illustrating trendsLine Charts Depicting changes over time

Topics Covered6Introduction to Rhetoric & Writing Strategies 7Advanced Technical Writing & Report Writing8Advanced Presentation Strategies

27Visualization of DataVisualIdeal forExamplePie ChartVisualizing parts of a wholeFlow ChartIllustrating processHighlighting procedurePhotographScreenshotMaintaining interestDiscussing complex objectsDiagramAssembly proceduresDiscussion of partsMapNoting elevation differencesLocating project in real world

28Visual Data Examples Whats more interesting to engage?

Chrysaora fuscescens (sometimes generally referred to as the Pacific sea nettle or the West Coast sea nettle) is a common variety of true jellyfish, found in the Pacific Ocean mostly near the coast from California to Alaska (perhaps also to Japan).Diameter of the body (the "bell") can be greater than 1 meter, although most are less than 50 cm across. The long, complicated, spiraling oral arms and the 24 tentacles may trail as far as 3.6 to 4.6 meters behind the bell.29Visual Data Examples Chrysaora Fuscescens* aka: Pacific Sea Nettle, West Coast Sea Nettle

The "bell or body can be greater than one meter in diameter, though most are 50 cm across.*Located in the Pacific near California and Alaska (& perhaps Japan).The long, spiraling oral arms & the 24 tentacles may trail as far as 3.6-4.6 meters behind the bell.30Visual Data Examples Again, whats more interesting to engage?

The Bluefeld Board of Commissioners invites the citizens of Bluefeld to a site visit for the proposed new recreation center Smith Hall. The site in consideration for the new building is across from the Heating Plant (Acorn Street) on the portion of the land where the old parking lot stands. The Board of Commissioners, Carol Reed (Director), the architect, and construction manager will all be in attendance. Refreshments and food will be served from 1pm to 3pm on Saturday.31SITE VISIT: 1-3p, Saturday March 6, 2008

Food & drinks will be served.Visual Data Examples

Future Site of the New Recreation Center:Smith HallThe Board of Commissioners, Carol Reed (Director), Brian Jones (Architect), and Joan Smith (Construction Manager) will attend.32Visual Data Examples

Which display is most accessible/immediate?

This table?

33Visual Data Examples

Or this graph?34Visual Data Examples

In the past fours years from 2000 to 2003, MPM overall revenue has increased from roughly 66 million to 78 million. Video sales and theme park sales have consistently increased and account for most of MPMs fiscal growth. Unfortunately, motion picture revenues have decreased from 39.3 million to 22 million. Projected revenues by division for 2004 are as follows: 35.1 million (Theme Parks), 21 million (Motion Pictures), 26.1 million (Video). 35Visual Data Examples

In the past fours years from 2000 to 2003, MPM overall revenue has increased from roughly 66 million to 78 million. Video sales and theme park sales have consistently increased and account for most of MPMs fiscal growth. Unfortunately, motion picture revenues have decreased from 39.3 million to 22 million. Projected revenues by division for 2004 are as follows: 35.1 million (Theme Parks), 21 million (Motion Pictures), 26.1 million (Video). 36Label Your Information

37Which Visual to Use?You just redesigned the automated customer processing system at your place of work. It allows customers to check on orders, place orders, and pay bills. Your boss wants to know how the process works and what customers will see on the computer screen. How do you display this material for your boss?

38Which Visual to Use?You just redesigned the automated customer processing system at your place of work. It allows customers to check on orders, place orders, and pay bills. Your boss wants to know how the process works and what customers will see on the computer screen. How do you display this material for your boss?

A: Use a flowchart. Also, consider adding footnotes and/or screenshots for further illustration.39Which Visual to Use?You are to meet a classmate to review notes for an upcoming test. You have reserved a classroom in the McLean building, but your classmate wants to know where to meet. If you send an email response, what do you send/say?

40Which Visual to Use?You are to meet a classmate to review notes for an upcoming test. You have reserved a classroom in the McLean building, but your classmate wants to know where to meet. If you send an email response, what do you send/say?

A: Send a map or link to map. 41Which Visual to Use?You are writing a report to your project benefactor regarding your expenditures. Your group spent all of the $1,000 endowment on various types of items, such as office supplies, travel expenses, office rent, and telephone/internet services. Your benefactor wants to know exactly how the money was spent. How do you present the material?42Which Visual to Use?You are writing a report to your project benefactor regarding your expenditures. Your group spent all of the $1,000 endowment on various types of items, such as office supplies, travel expenses, office rent, and telephone/internet services. Your benefactor wants to know exactly how the money was spent. How do you present the material?

A: Use a table with specific numbers or a pie chart that includes specific totals.43Technical Report Structure44Technical Report StructureThree major sections: SectionComponents1. Front MatterTitle Page, Abstract, Table of Contents2. BodyIntroductions, Qualifications, Methodology, Analysis, Discussion, Conclusion3. End MatterBibliography, Appendices, Glossary45Technical Report Organization How will readers process your report?Read straight through or bounce around?Explain acronyms/jargon terms per section?Make it accessible? Cross referenced?Do not overwhelm Use AppendicesStyle Counts! Use images, charts, tables, etc46Report Front Matter

47Report Title Page

48Report Title Page

5. Honor Pledge1. Detailed Title4. Date2. Submitted to:3. Prepared by:49Report Table of Contents

Example #1: While the necessary sections are listed below, this example is too basic and not detailed enough.Example #2: Notice that while it could still be improved, this example already provides more detailed information to the reader.50Report Table of Contents

Example #3: Much more detailed. Includes a List of Figures.51Report Body

52Report End Matter

53Collaborative ReportsAllow extra time for collaborative reports! Assign 1 team member to review reportAssign 1 team member to order referencesStandardize formats early font, size, layoutStandardize labels, units, acronyms, jargonAvoid information redundanciesFinalReportVaried Sections54

Writing Recap WCC Program210 Morton; Mon-Thurs 3-5pmOpen late until 7pm on Tues & ThursAny Stevens course, any semester

Advanced Tech Writing ConsiderationsAvoid Empty LanguageUse Strong Verbs & Active VoiceMaintain Parallel StructureEmail ConsiderationsVisualize Your DataRemember Report Structure55 Thank youAny questions?56