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At the end of the day I’ll know this conference has been a success for me if _____________________.
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Overview
• Understanding your brain’s built-in hard-wired reward-and-planning system
• Asking 2 questions• Strategic behavioral inquiry: How exactly did
you do that?
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Assumptions
• Everybody’s doing the best they can• Every behavior serves a function• Behavior is not incomprehensible or random• Behavior follows patterns which reveal
themselves to the curious observer free of prejudice or blame or theory
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UNDERSTANDING YOUR BRAIN’S BUILT-IN HARD-WIRED REWARD-AND-PLANNING SYSTEM
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Image: wikimedia commons
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Image: wikimedia commons
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04/10/2023 © 2011 David D. Nowell, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
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We don’t do anything we’re not motivated to do
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Dopamine is the neurotransmitter of:
• Reward• Motivation• Woo hoo!
• Pride• Success• Yay!
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What does dopamine feeeel like?
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Preferred States Inventory
1. Call to mind a “peak” moment– When was this?– Who was there?– Where were you?
2. Clarify sensory detail– What exactly did you see?– What were you hearing?– Was there texture? Temperature?– Were there smells?
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Preferred States Inventory
3. Identify the highlight moment– What was the very best part of all that? If you had
to choose just one moment?
4. Say hello to your body – What were you feeling, in your body, right in the
middle of all that?– Where exactly – in your body – did you feel that?– What words would describe that feeling?
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1. 1-step errands
2. Chores with cues
3. Basic inhibition
Age-appropriate ExpectationsPreschool
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1. 2-3 step directions
2. 20-30 minute assignments
3. Follow rules/inhibit/no grabbing
Age-appropriate ExpectationsKindergarten -2nd Grade
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1. Simple shopping list
2. Keep track of variable daily schedule
3. Inhibit and regulate even without teacher present
4. Simple delayed gratification (phone)
Age-appropriate Expectations3rd-5th Grade
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1. Complex chores
2. Organizing system
3. Time management
4. Self soothe
5. Manage conflict
Age-appropriate Expectations6th – 8th Grade
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1. Independent with assignments
2. Make adjustments based on feedback
3. Inhibit reckless behavior
4. Say “no” to fun activity if other plans already made
5. Take others’ perspective
Age-appropriate ExpectationsTeenage-mid 20’s
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Age-appropriate ExpectationsLending Your Brain
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Cortico-striatal loop
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Cortico-striatal loop
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The reward-and-planning system
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The reward-and-planning system
• Anticipate goal (state)• Identify tasks• Sequence / problem-solve• Block out distractions• Get the reward
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Ways the reward-and-planning system can go wrong
• Anticipate goal (state)• Identify tasks• Sequence / problem-solve• Block out distractions• Get the reward
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Ways the reward-and-planning system can go wrong
• Anticipate goal (state)– Strategies: • Preferred States Inventory• Letter from the future• Look for the goal-behind-the-goal
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Ways the reward-and-planning system can go wrong
• Identify tasks– Strategies:• Coaching• Interview someone who’s already done it• Vocational counseling• Weekly planning session
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The best defense against the manipulation of our attention is to determine for ourselves – in advance - how we want to invest it.
- E. Goldberg
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Ways the reward-and-planning system can go wrong
• Sequence / problem-solve– Strategies:• Coaching• Project management• Review your successes and strengths: What evidence
do you have that you CAN do this?• Psychotherapy• Morning 10-minute review• Mind-mapping software / apps
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Image: Jim Mills @ photoxpress
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Ways the reward-and-planning system can go wrong
• Block out distractions– Strategies:• Eliminate distractions• Increase salience (what’s in it for me?)• Morning 10-minute review• The Body Double• StayOnTask app
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Increase salience
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StayOnTask app
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Ways the reward-and-planning system can go wrong
• Get the reward– Strategies• Maintain boundaries• Ask “what about this do I want?”• Get clear about your preferred states. Recognize
your unique body-based neurological blueprint for happiness. Be honest, own it.
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“authority of the body”
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38676
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ASKING TWO QUESTIONS
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Am I having fun now?Is this important?
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YesYes
NoYes
YesNo
NoNo
Am I having fun now?Is this important?
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important?
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(85 – X) x 365
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fun?
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Am I having fun now?Is this important?
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When we focus on leading a passionate, meaningful life we create a spectacular ripple effect of inspiration in the lives around us.
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YesYes
NoYes
YesNo
NoNo
I’m having fun.I’m on task.
Am I having fun now?
Is this important?
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YesYes
NoYes
YesNo
NoNo
I’m having fun.I’m not on task.
Am I having fun now?
Is this important?
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Weekly Planning Session
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10-MinuteMorning Review
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What will you do today that you'll still remember one year from now??
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What’s your One Thing?
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10-Minute Morning Review
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10-Minute Morning Review
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Take Advantage of Natural Breaks in Your Daily Routine
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StayOnTask app
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YesYes
NoYes
YesNo
NoNo
I’m not having fun.I’m on task.
Am I having fun now?
Is this important?
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Increase salience
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easy hard
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easy hard
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Barter practical / social support
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YesYes
NoYes
YesNo
NoNo
I’m not having fun.I’m not on task.
Am I having fun now?
Is this important?
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STRATEGIC BEHAVIORAL INQUIRY
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AANTECEDENTS
BBEHAVIOR
CCONSEQUENCE
S
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AANTECEDEN
T
BBEHAVIOR
CCONSEQUENC
ES
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AANTECEDENTS
BBEHAVIOR
CCONSEQUENC
ES
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AANTECEDEN
T
BBEHAVIOR
CCONSEQUENCES
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Beginning Middle End
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…and How Exactly Did You Do That?
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04/10/2023 © 2011 David D. Nowell, Ph.D. All rights reserved.
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More
• Behavioral control• Choices and options• Self-regulation– Arousal– Motivation– Mood
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Objectives of SBI
• Specific behavioral strategy• What feeling-goals were associated with the
goal?• Motivational level on a scale from 1-10
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Benefits of SBI
• Affirms the value of coachees’ unique internal experience
• Emphasizes the culture of self-regulation• Encourages metacognition
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Assumptions of SBI
• Everybody’s doing the best they can• Every behavior serves a function• Behavior is not incomprehensible or random• Behavior follows patterns which reveal
themselves to the curious observer free of prejudice or blame or theory
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How to “do” SBI
• HEDYDT?
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HEDYDT?
• How • Exactly• Did• You• Do• That• ?
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HEDYDT?
• How (a technology)• Exactly (a precise “recipe,” a sequence of
actions and thoughts and images)• Did (post-mortem)• You (accountability, reality-based)• Do (behavioral, practical)• That (situation-specific)• ? (open, genuinely curious inquiry)
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Personal Application
• What habit or practice have you intentionally developed? And How Exactly Do You Do That?
• What bad habit persists? And How Exactly Do You Do That?
• End-of-day QI
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Collect data – allow yourself to fall in love with the truth
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Family/Social Application
• Think of the most important relationship in your life right now– What do you most admire about him/her?– If you had a magic wand, what might you change?– What could you do to improve the relationship by
10% in the next 24 hours?
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Clinical Application
• What recurring behavioral problem is showing up in your clinic or classroom?
• Note: we aren’t asking “why did you do that,” but rather “how exactly did you do that.”
Appendix A
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What’s your One Thing?
Appendix C
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Summary
• Understanding your brain’s built-in hard-wired reward-and-planning system
• Asking 2 questions• Strategic behavioral inquiry: How exactly did
you do that?
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Living in The Gap
• Compassion• Self-compassion
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