Ad HOC - January 2013

ad HOC THE ONLY

Newspaper of the TSR

House of Commons

Edition 9 ● January 2013

Birchington ● ad HOC Editor

The TSR Conservatives won a by-election last month,

held to replace the banned Independent MP

Internetguru.

The election saw three candidates, eventual winner

Qwertish, standing for the Conservatives, and two

independent candidates. Superunknown17 was officially

endorsed by Labour and the Socialists, and Stanlas

received endorsements from the Green Party and Liberal

Democrats.

It is believed this is the first time in HOC history

independent candidates have stood with endorsements

from HOC parties. CONTINUES ON PAGE 4

Qwertish

Superunknown17

Stanlas

CONSERVATIVES WIN BY-ELECTION

Unsure what the HOC is?

Don’t worry – you can find

a beginner’s guide on

PAGE 4

BY-ELECTION RESULTS

PAGE 5 ● THE RESULTS OF HOC AWARDS

Get to know some of the

HOC’s most influential

members. Interviews on

PAGES 3 & 5

The latest goings on in the

HOC, all on

PAGE 4

ALL THE LATEST NEWS

OPINION AND DEBATE

WHAT’S ON

INTERVIEWS

All your articles on

PAGE 6 and 7

GET INVOLVED tsrhocnews @gmail.com

PAGE 3 ● EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH TEHFRANCE

ad HOC January 2013 | 2

Thanks for reading this new edition of Ad HOC. I hope you enjoy this latest roundup of news, views and interviews from the House, the first for 2013! Apologies as well for the delay in getting this edition

published. The editor currently has a growing stack of essays and dissertation research to complete, so Ad HOC unfortunately has to slide down my in tray! Enjoy reading, and keep sending in your content!

from the EDITOR

Best wishes, Birchington Email: [email protected] ● PM: u=169550 CARTOON

Steve Bell

CONTENTS

Page 7 and 8:

Opinion and Debate

Page 4:

House News

Page 5, 6 & 7:

More interviews

:

Editorial Comments

Page 3: Interview with

TehFrance


Interviews TEHFRANCE REVEALS ALL

Tehfrance serves as a Conservative MP

and he was recently voted as the

‘Biggest Drunkard in the Commons Bar’

Is the persona we see on TSR much the same as it is real life? Yes it is very much the same, I am larger than life and I do tend get into lots of trouble both within the UK and Europe. While lately I have slowly been changing away from what I am (or was in parts), I am unfortunately still very much as you seen on TSR. Love me or hate me, I am who I am and while I try, I tend to fail at keeping sustainable relationships due to my imperfections that I never should of clasp onto in the first place. What has influenced you into a life of vice and is this something you now regret? My father without a doubt, his raising of me or to be more precise lack of raising of me and letting the nanny do it while he worked for the life I take for granted is what has made me, me. Very few people can tell that hang grown up without a mother nor a in a sense a father figure until I reached an age I was able to fire a rifle, join him at various gentlemen's clubs and partake in activities he holds dear and still does to this day. He was a poor father, still is, he taught me to live carefree and I took a hold of that philosophy and held on to it like no tomorrow, alas it is my downfall. I never did well at school despite attending private school although my failure there was more to do with the fact I disliked having Christian philosophy forced upon me but they were unfortunately one of the best schools (the other school was also Christian run), that most likely did not help me when it came to anything in my life. I regret a lot that I have done in my life, nearly all of it has the root cause of alcohol, drugs or my relationships with parents and women in general, truth be told I don't get on with men that well either but it is easier to deal with them than women despite my overwhelming love of women.

How did the transition of moving to live in the

UK as a teenager affect you and looking back, if

you had the chance, would you have rather

stayed in France?

It was terrible, I still don't understand to this day how

my father lost custody of me to my mother, it is

ridiculously stupid how it all panned out, she never

wanted anything to do with me and then bam, turns up

and wins a court case, next thing I know I am being

taken from my friends and people I actually give a

damn about and being thrown into this miserable

country without speaking very good English, hard as it

is to believe due to how good my English is now, it was

bloody terrible back then and I was bullied to no end.

I'd say the move to England didn't exactly help me

develop a good healthy lifestyle at all and was a main

contributor to my life of "vice" as you so called it

although to me it is just life.

Yes I would rather have stayed in France, France is

after all my home and always will be my home. Yes

right now I am disillusioned with the country and feel

like it is changing in the wrong direction and I am

helpless to help get her back on track to become the

powerhouse I know she can be. France does and always

will hold a special place in my heart even if she is run

by socialists such as Hollande.

Do you plan any changes in 2013?

Well my main plan was to be working in Switzerland

right now but that has changed due to the damn

company going into administration, I mean that is the

stupidest thing ever, why hire a guy if you know you

are going to fail within a few months? Completely

moronic but at least I get to keep the signing bonus so

that is something I guess.

CONTINUES ON PAGE 5

Interview by Metrobeans ● Former Speaker of the House

GET INVOLVED AND JOIN A TSR PARTY TODAY!

You can apply in the ‘Usergroups’ section


House News HOC SPEAKER RESIGNS

Birchington ● ad HOC Editor

The House of Commons Speaker, TheCrackInTime, resigned

last month.

MPs reacted with praise for his successful tenure as Speaker

and Deputy Speaker. He had been absent for a few weeks

due to personal issues, and resigned following some

speculation over when he would return.

Elections are currently underway to elect his successor – a

first round of voting will allow MPs so select the two

candidates that will proceed to the second round.

Stay tuned to the @MHOCNews Twitter account for

updates on the election. The next issue of Ad HOC will also

cover the election of the new Speaker.

WHO’S

WHO

To be elected

Toronto353

Mechie(Labour)

Rakas21 (Conservative)

Libertarians Jesusandtequila Socialist Party

JPKC PoGoHoPz

Liberal Democrats Birchington

UKIP Toronto353

Green CLS94

HOC Speaker

HOC Deputy Speaker

Prime Minister

Leader of the Opposition

Other Party Leaders

Issues debated included the nationalisation of water companies by the current government, along with discussions about economic stimulus and tax cuts. The Conservatives were ultimately successful with over 37% of the vote. Qwertish was elected as the replacement for Internetguru’s MP seat, bringing the Conservatives seat total to 8.

BEST MOTION:

International Ban of Antibiotics as Growth Promoters

BEST DEBATER: JPKC

BEST NEWCOMER: Mazzini

BIGGEST DRUNKARD OF THE COMMONS BAR:

TehFrance

SPEAKER’S AWARD FOR AWESOMENESS:

Metrobeans ● ByronicHero ● TheCrackInTime

BY-ELECTION GRIPS HOUSE

Members of the House of Commons have

recently voted in an awards ceremony

celebrating the best members and

contributions over the last year.

THE WINNERS WERE AS FOLLOWS: BEST BILL: Nuclear Weapon Abolition Bill

HOC AWARDS: THE WINNERS

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1


More Interviews

I also had intended to actually marry a very special

lady in my life but we recently had a disagreement

over my drinking and how I am never without a drink,

we have known each other for years and she tells me

now that it is a problem. We will be working through

things but the stupid thing is that I was slowly

changing my ways for her, it isn't like it happens

overnight for ****s sake but she is my princess and I

do want to spend the rest of my life with her no matter

what happens.

Do you have any MHoC ambitions?

I have nonE, the MHoC while fun to read and annoy

Morgsie as let’s be honest it is always fun to annoy

that old bean, he takes it all far too seriously and it is

just hilarious, seriously I wish I could meet the guy.

That said the MHoC is quite honestly the most

infuriating place to be and don't get me started on

Rakas' stupidity. He thinks that he is going to be some

kind of mega success when I can tell you right now he

Adorno is a veteran of the House of

Commons, and is currently a member of

the TSR Labour Party.

How did you first join the House?

It's so long ago, now, that I almost can't remember! I

was posting in a thread in the old D&D forum when I

received a PM from Alastair inviting me to get

involved with the TSR Socialist Party and it all

followed from there really. Having got involved in the

Socialists, I ended up in the House.

How do you think the House can be improved?

This may sound controversial but it seems to me that

if we abolished the 'government' (which in any case

doesn't offer much benefit), bills would be developed

INTERVIEW WITH TEHFRANCE

will never be, his spelling is atrocious, he comes from a

very poor background and people from his

background that are true successes only come along

once in a generation or during a time of turmoil when

he can take advantage... yes he will never be what he

expects and if by some miracle he does, he will never

like it, I can tell he thinks that money buys happiness

and I have news for you sunshine, it does no such

thing. I'd rather be poor and happy than incredibly

wealthy and switch between happiness and

unhappiness like a yoyo.

Who is your favourite member of the HOC (and if

there isn't one, who do you like/respect)?

Adorno without a doubt is my favourite and most

respected member of the House. Sure we don't share

the same views or get on that well but overall he is by

far the most honest and down to earth guy in the

MHoC, shame he comes from Wales... would of given

him some money to help out whatever community

project he wishes. I absolutely hate Wales but then

doesn't everyone?

at party level and more frequently. I've never really

liked the idea of the government here and now that

I've been involved in one, I'm convinced it is not a

benefit to the House.

Do you think TSR's left-wing government

should be emulated in real life?

No. I despise coalitions and feel they are pretty well

the worst kind of government formation. Real life,

whether in the form of the current ConDem

government or the National Government of the 1930s,

provides enough examples of why coalitions are

hopeless in commanding the confidence of the people.

Even though TSR's left-wing government shares,

broadly speaking, my political instincts, it hasn't really

given me cause to shift from that particular starting

position. CONTINUES ON PAGE 6


Opinion and Debate Interviews by Birchington ● Ad HOC Editor


In the next few months, what legislation would you like to see prioritised here? Obviously, I would quite like for the government to abolish itself but I doubt that will happen! I hope, in the first instance, that the government will complete its nationalisation of the essentials and bring energy under control of the people. Too many of our citizens are in fuel poverty and this Labour-led administration has the power to act where too many Tories have not. Secondly, I hope that legislation will be brought that finally abolishes private education. I have pushed for this several times and consistently been defeated by reactionaries. Make use of the majority and give everyone a fair and equal start in life! Finally, if the government is not too exhausted, to apologise to the nations and peoples of the world for the great stain of the British Empire.

What future do you believe left-wing parties will have in Britain in the next few decades? This is quite a complex issue because there are two or three forms of the Left in existence at the moment. You have the old Left comprising, broadly speaking, the trades unions, 'old' Labour supporters and the New Left of the 1960s who produced much of the rights-based motifs that many take for granted. I don't really see this developing very much; in fact, it is almost certainly in permanent decline. Some in the Labour Party, both on here and in real life, see this as the noose around the neck of the Left in Britain and clearly welcome its demise. They will foolishly cheer its death as they cheered the death of the Communist Party of Great Britain. This brings me to the second model of the Left, which is currently in the ascendancy. New Labour - that compromise between 'progressivism' and Thatcherism - isn’t going anywhere however much

Tactical Nuclear Penguin is currently an MP for TSR UKIP, and is a recent newcomer to the House.

How did you first join the House? Unfortunately due to school commitments Afcwimbledon2 decided to step down as an MP, which was a great shame as he brought so much to the party. The good news is that he’s been sticking around still having a lot of input which is really good for the party. I was appointed as his replacement and I’m delighted to become an MP!

Ed Miliband attempts to wriggle out of its flashy suit. It is possible that this formation will be strengthened

by a Lib Dem evacuation in 2015/2016 but I doubt that

- actually, I doubt the Lib Dems will implode - though it

is certainly where Lib Dem voters want the Labour

Party to be. Since this is the form of the Left the middle

class want, this is the form of the Left that is here to

stay.

Finally, there is the post-New Left model of leftism

with its obsession with identities -whether those

identities are based on race, gender, sexuality,

ethnicity, religion, environmental awareness or

whatever. This is the bit of the Left that has the

potential to fill the vacuum left by the demise of the old

Left. To an extent it already has - see how Respect were

able to absorb old Left votes whilst being, ostensibly, a

pro-Islam party. The best hope of the old Left is for the

Green Party to come and dominate this formation. The

challenge, however, is for Britain to embrace a more

continental / Scandinavian style of politics wherein the

Greens act as the conscience of the Left. In Germany,

Sweden, Norway and the French-speaking parts of

Switzerland, the Greens have anchored social

democratic parties and ensured that there is still some

meaning to being on the Left, despite the best instincts

of the later to run fully towards the New Labour model

of "leftism".

The Left has a future in Britain, for sure, but it is

certainly a future grounded in conflict between the

second and third formations. We will all need,

however, that funeral suit for the old Left. Its passing,

lamentably, is fast approaching.

How do you think the House can be improved?

I think in terms of attracting and retaining new faces,

there is room for improvement. I might sound like I’m

preaching but I really don’t think it’s right that recently

new members’ comments have received a lot of

negative rep. There is no obligation to agree with what

they are saying of course, but I think at least something

of a welcome is warranted, rather than scaring off

anyone who might be a regular viewer of the MHOC

forums wanting to get more involved.

CONTINUES ON PAGE 7


Opinion and Debate


PROVISION OF DEFRIBRILATORS BILL Proposed by Labour Designed to ensure all schools provide defibrillator equipment, to assist those suffering from heart problems when they arise. This has since been withdrawn TRANSRACIAL ADOPTIONS BILL 2012 Proposed by the Government Designed to standardise the adoption process, this Bill is currently in cessation. IMMIGRATION BILL Proposed by MacCuishy MP Designed to ensure immigrants are legally required to pay tax. This Bill was rejected in the final vote. UNSUPERVISED TANNING SHOP BILL 2012 Proposed by the Liberal Democrats Designed to ban the unsupervised use of tanning booths in order to prevent skin cancer rates and to improve safety. STOP TAX, PERIOD BILL 2012 Proposed by the Liberal Democrats Designed to end the charging of VAT on feminine sexual hygiene products. SECURING OUR BORDERS BILL 2012 Proposed by Internetguru MP Designed to make immigration laws stricter. The Bill has since been withdrawn. ELECTED MAYORS BILL 2012 Proposed by the Government Designed to introduce elected mayors to Britain’s largest cities. BLOOD DONATION AMENDMENT BILL Proposed by Labour Party and the Liberal Democrats Designed to change laws on blood donation by homosexual men. PASSPORT REFORM BILL Proposed by the Government Designed to add a ‘third gender’ option to passports. FAIR PAY BILL 2012 Proposed by JPKC, Liberal Democrats, Labour and the Socialist Party Designed to expand pay transparency for workers. GREAT BRITAIN AND NORTHERN IRELAND REFERENDUM BILL 2012 Proposed by the Government Designed to create a referendum on the Monarchy. IMMIGRANT WELFARE BILL Proposed by MacCuishy MP Designed to reform access of migrants to welfare. HEAVY GOODS VEHICLES SAFETY BILL Proposed by the Labour Party Designed to improve the safety of HGVs and prevent road deaths. TAX INTEREST PARITY BILL 2012 Proposed by the Libertarian Party Designed to prevent overcharging by HMRC. MEDIA PRIVATIZATION BILL 2012 Proposed by Internetguru MP Designed to privatise the BBC and its assets.

WHAT’S BEEN SAID SO FAR BILLS

Proposals to Change or Introduce Legislation MOTIONS

General Statements or Proposals

EXTRADITE ABU QATADA MOTION Proposed by the Conservatives Encourages and promotes the deportation of Abu Qatada, this motion is now in cessation. DIAMOND JUBILEE 'BIG LUNCH' MOTION Proposed by the Government Promotes the organisation of ‘Big Lunches’ to celebrate the Diamond Jubilee. CONDEMNATION OF DEPORTATION MOTION Proposed by Labour, the Liberal Democrats, the Libertarian Party and the Socialist Party Condemns the government’s proposal to deport Abu Qatada. CHARITABLE GIVING MOTION Proposed by Labour Encourages the reform of taxation of charitable donations. ROCHE RELEASE OF INFORMATION MOTION Proposed by Labour Encourages the release of information on drugs trials, held by a manufacturer of pandemic vaccinations. MOTION ON PUNISHMENT OF COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT Proposed by the Government Designed to promote the changing of the laws surrounding copyright theft. SYRIA CEASEFIRE MOTION Proposed by the Liberal Democrats Condemns the Syrian government and promotes further diplomatic assistance for the Syrian crisis.

PETITIONS Proposals Submitted by the Public

OBESITY PETITION Proposes the introduction of extra tax on food with high saturated fat. This was rejected by vote. PRIVATE SCHOOLS PETITION Proposes the outlawing of private or fee-paying schools. EDUCATION PETITION Proposes changes to education law and introducing compulsory English lessons for non-English pupils.

PRODUCTIVITY AND RESEARCH PETITION Proposes to increase science funding and a Government-funded utilities price comparison website. PETITION TO RESTRICT THE COMFORTS OF PRISONERS TO BASIC SURVIVAL REQUIREMENTS ONLY Proposes to change prison facilities.

Whilst I do find wind-ups quite funny and am more

than prepared to accept my fair share of good natured

banter, sometimes it seems to go too far in the House

and that’s something that could possibly be addressed.

Do you think TSR UKIP's more liberal stance

on issues offers an example to the party in RL?

Yes and no, really. In some respects I am more socially

liberal than many of RL UKIP’s policies and views, and

that is shared by some of my fellow MPs and party

members. In terms of their key messages and flagship

policies I would say I largely agree, especially on

Europe, but with some of their social views I tend to

take a more liberal approach. Put it this way, I am

much more keen for TSR UKIP to develop clear policies

and election promises of its own, and would happily

support this even if not entirely my own view, rather

than adopting RL UKIP’s policies automatically or

because we feel we should. We are similar in several

key ways, for example Europe, but it is important to

retain our own identity and policies which are shaped

by our members.

In the next few months, what legislation would

you like to see prioritised here?

I’m looking forward to submitting some bills myself

and debating them now I am an MP. Being on an

accountancy degree I am naturally very interested in

any taxation or business related bill which I am always

keen to debate on. In this respect I want to see bills

that offer a fair taxation system to all, not based on

politically ideology but simple economics, as well as

It's the debate that polarises the house and inspires hypocrisy of the highest order from the right wing parties. I can of course only be talking about the Nationalisation of Water Authorities Act. The Libertarians, like the vultures that they are, have swooped in with a violently pro-business amendment urging the state to spend £37bn filling the pockets of profiteers. This is rather ludicrous coming from the

ways to get government spending down in its own

departments, but investing in UK businesses to

improve growth and to get unemployment reduced.

These are the key issues we face at the moment and I

look forward to debating on, and hopefully submitting

myself, many bills which are intended to address

these.

What future do you believe UKIP has in the

next few decades?

The sudden surge in popularity for UKIP isn’t so much

of a surprise, and I really don’t think that it is entirely

EU-related. I think there is a genuine disenchantment

with the three IRL parties, all of which have shown

similar traits of a lack of understanding of the

problems that the people of Britain face; more

interested in political games and battles than coming

together for the good of the country.

This has led many people to look for a viable

alternative and have seen UKIP as a party with a

charismatic leader who has spoken many home truths

about the main parties and about what should be done

about key issues, and seen that just maybe there might

be a party there that offers a real alternative. So

hopefully, even if there is an EU referendum or a

renegotiation of terms within the next ten years, UKIP

will still be here, not only maintaining a crucial voice

for Britain in the EU parliament but also in this

country as well.

party that is normally first in line to oppose any state

spending.

The right wing lunatics however did get what they

wanted by splitting the government on the issue of

compensation. At the top of the tree is our Prime

Minister who now shares the ludicrous views of the

Libertarian Party. However it is foolish for C

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The Mad Dog ● TSR Socialist MP

Opinion and Debate WATER YOU MOANING ABOUT?

Any coalition MP who even momentarily considered

supporting B522 should leave the coalition.

As far as the fake left-wingers in the Green Party who

are so see through their members are easily mistaken

for Libertarians go, if they even considered voting Aye

to the Libertarian trash they should change their name

so the electorate do not confuse them with the real life,

and actually left wing, Green Party. If M148 goes

through, they might consider "The Soul Sellers" given

their leader used to be a socialist and now supports the

wasting of government cash on big business. They

could also merge with their new bedfellows the Lib

Dems and hand the right a few more by-elections.

The decision made in passing the Nationalisation of

Water Authorities Act in its original form, is the best

decision members of this parliament have made over

the course of this term. The only people who lost out

from the bill are those seeking to profit from capitalist

oppression. Any member of the Labour, Green or

Socialist parties who describes themselves as left wing

and does not believe that is a liar for they are not left

wing and do not belong in their party at all.

Remunerating people's pensions is a fair compromise

and deals with the only perceivable flaw in this bill,

anything above that is selling out the electorate - who

installed this government lest we forget - in the same

way Thatcher sold her soul to the corporations in the

1980s. We cannot let that happen.

It is although not unforeseeable that Labour are a wolf

in sheep's clothing when one of their most socialist and

commendable, in my opinion, members is still a

member of the Libertarian Party. Red Tories through

and through.

The best way to get involved is to join a party! The

HOC has the big 3 parties (Labour, Conservatives and

the Liberal Democrats), as well as others: The

Libertarian Party, Socialist Party and UKIP.

By joining a party, you get access to their hidden sub-

forum where they draft bills, plan for elections and

discuss a range of other things. Once you've joined,

you can meet your party colleagues, get involved in

developing bills and help your party succeed in the

HOC.

You can also start your own petitions, or get stuck

into any of the open debates in the forum.

HOW DO I GET INVOLVED?

AD HOC EDITORIAL TEAM Editor: Birchington

ELECTION OPPOSITION

RIGHTS TAXATION

VOTE WESTMINSTER

BACKBENCHES CAMPAIGN

CANDIDATE DEMOCRACY EDUCATION


anyone to be under the impression this view is widely

held among Labour members let alone the

government. The view he spouted on whipping under

opposition pressure of "I don't really believe in

whipping" perhaps better translates to English as "my

leadership is so weak I couldn't convince my party on

this, I am out of step."

There is however a solution proposed by some

members of the government, from both parties, that

would not put any money into the hands of filthy

capitalists. This solution involves the government

directly compensating those who have lost out on

money in pension funds. This solution is the best of a

bad lot, pensioners where less likely to know how big

a risk they were taking with their money. Short of

paying nobody anything this is the only resolution to

the problem that will get an Aye vote from me. The

petite bourgeois and the rest of the filthy capitalists

should accept their shares that they have now lost

money on were a gamble. Given they love the free

market principles of some are more equal than others

so much they are perhaps best served to do so than

rely on the kind of state-hand outs that they would

normally be raving against to fill the financial hole

they've dug for themselves.

I personally believe that any government minister

willing enough to walk into the Aye lobby on the B522

vote has openly betrayed the socialist principles upon

which this government was founded and should

resign from their position and cross the floor of the

House. Any backbenchers prepared to vote Aye to that

fundamentally wrong piece of legislation should do

the same as their cowardly ministers.

ANY QUESTIONS? PM TCIT (THE SPEAKER)


Do you disagree with this?

GET IN TOUCH This is your newspaper, so send in your views and opinions!

Ad HOC - January 2013

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