ACTIVE LISTENING WHY AND HOW ? M. Nur ALTINÇEKİÇ Fatma SERGİCİ M. Nihan BOZDOĞAN Mahmut...

ACTIVE LISTENINGWHY AND HOW ?

M. Nur ALTINÇEKİÇFatma SERGİCİM. Nihan BOZDOĞANMahmut ŞAHİNCanan KARATAŞ

THE LISTENING PROCESS

“Listening is being silent with another person in an active way”

Morton Kelsey

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Listening in communication process

The Listening Process Purposes of Listening Listening and Your life

Nur ALTINÇEKİÇ

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----You can’t learn to listen. You are either good at it or not

---- Listening requires very little effort

---- The words “listening” and “hearing” mean the same thing.

---- Listening involves only ears

---- Listening is an objective process. Your emotions do not affect your ability to listen

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---- You tend to speak more than you listen

---- Good speakers are usually good listeners

---- You listen better as you get older

---- Your need to listen becomes less after you leave school

---- You listen primarily to get information

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LISTENING IN COMMUNICATION PROCESS

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Here is what Paul Rankinfound:

Our communication time isdevoted:9 percent to writing,16 percent to reading,30 percent to speaking,

and 45 percent to LISTENING

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The communicationProcess:

communication involves sharing

of meanings

Sharing: Person who is listening working hard also

Meanings: Common meanings make it possible to communicate

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There are three main ideas to rememberabout listening Speaking and listening happen at the

same time Listeners must be aware of both verbal

and nonverbal messages Effective communication occurs when

the speakers and listeners share their meanings

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Listening is a process of receiving,interpreting, evaluating and responding tomessages

Receiving – Using Your Ears and Eyes Interpreting – Tying in Your Experience Evaluating – Examinig the Message Responding – Expending an Effort

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Ali says:

“It looks as if my father is going to get married”.

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PURPOSES OF LISTENING

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PURPOSES OF LISTENING

To engage in social ritualsOne practical reason to listen well is to be able toparticipate in social situations. To exchange informationWe listen most frequently to understand what anotherperson trying to tell us To exert controlYou need to be able to take control of your response To share feelingsSharing feelings requires personal effort and risk bothspeaker and listener To enjoy yourself:You listen other people’s speech for pleasure

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To engage in social rituals

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To exchange information

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To exert control

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To share feelings

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To enjoy yourself:

GETTGETTIING THE NG THE MEANMEANIINGNG

The Perception Process The Context Barriers to Listening

FATMA SERGİCİ

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“I know you believe you understand what you

think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that you

heard is not what I meant.”

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AA. . THE PERCEPTION THE PERCEPTION PROCESSPROCESS

Perception, is the process by which you filter and interpret what your senses tell you, so you can create a meaningful picture of the world.

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Two-step perception process:

Something affects your senses1

2 You interpret your sensation

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Why not everyone assigns the same meaning to the same messages ?

PASTEXPERIENCES

PRESENT FEELINGSAND

CIRCUMSTANCES

PHYSICAL DIFFERENCES

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PHYSICAL DIFFERENCESPHYSICAL DIFFERENCES

Although most of us have the use of all our senses, we don’t have exactly the same abilities.

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PAST PAST EXPERIENCESEXPERIENCES

Our past experience will influence how we accept or reject a message.

Past experiences may range from those that are considered general, or shared by many people you know, to those that are unique, or shared by few people.

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Emotions Health Various

concerns

Factors in how we listen

PRESENT FEELINGS AND CIRCUMSTANCES

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B. B. THE CONTEXTTHE CONTEXT

Context background of a message that throws lights on the meaning of the words.

Good listeners are like good detectives. They put pieces of a puzzle together to get the whole story

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The Occasion

TheVerbal/NonverbalCommunication

TheSetting

The Person

CONTEXTCONTEXT

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1. THE OCCASION

An occasion or an event calls for certain type of communications. People tailor their conversation to certain occasions.

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2. THE VERBAL/NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION

Think of the many meanings that you could give to the short sentence, “I will send the flowers.” depending on which word gets the emphasize “I” not you “will” I didn’t do it yet ……

Although words are valuable source of meaning, the nonverbal cues help to put them in context.

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3. THE SETTING

The size, privacy, and comfort of a place may affect e speaker’s message as well as the listener’s effectiveness in hearing it.

Effective listeners consider place and time when interpreting a message.

The time of day, or the amount of time available, often influence what someone says, or how someone says it.

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4. THE PERSON

When you know people well, you are more likely to interpret their messages accurately

The more a listener knows about a speaker, the easier it is to put the speaker’s remarks in context.

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C.C. BARRIERS TO BARRIERS TO LISTENINGLISTENING

We have barriers in all aspect of life as well as in communication and accordingly in listening.

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1. EXTERNAL DISTRACTIONS

Situations in the environment that keeps you from paying attention to the speaker.

Temporary

Permanent

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2. INTERNAL DISTRACTIONS

Your own worries, excitements and even physical state will distract you from listening.

If possible, it is suggested to take precautions in advance.

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3. CONFLICTING DEMANDS

There are times when you are trying to do too many things at once, so you cannot listen carefully.

Think that you are watching a program on TV while your mother trying to tell you her problems. How effectively can you listen to her?

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4. THE SPEAKER’S CREDIBILITY

Crediblity refers to how believable the speaker is to you.

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5. THE SPEAKER’S STYLE

Style refers to the speaker’s appearence, manner of speaking, and ability to relate to the listener.

If the speaker has worn big earrings or if he is keeping on playing his fingers, these may tend to distract the listener.

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6. YOUR LACK OF INFORMATION It is hard to try to interpret what the

speaker is saying if the person doesn’t use verbal/nonverbal symbols you are familiar with.

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7. YOUR PERSONAL BIASES

Our beliefs and attitudes generally creates a barrier toward certain subjects.

This occur when the subject is uninteresting to us, sensitive, political, etc…Or when the speaker and we have the opposite ideas.

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8. YOUR DESIRE TO TALK

Most people would rather talk than listen, especially if they have to listen carefully.

They should learn the value of controlling their talking. Paraphrasing is a technique that can be used in this situations.

LISTENING FOR LISTENING FOR BASIC BASIC INFORMATIONINFORMATION

“Nature has given us one tongue but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak.”

Epictetus

LISTENING FOR LISTENING FOR BASIC BASIC INFORMATIONINFORMATION

Making things memorable Using thinking strategies Following directions

M. Nihan BOZDOĞAN

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Listening For Basic Information

Everyone has some difficulty getting basicinformation. To show how to increase your ability to get basic information, we will

look atthe following areas:

Making things memorableUsing thinking strategiesFollowing directions

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Making things memorable

What makes you sit up and take special notice even if the speaker is not very interesting?

When we examine the parts of the MTM (making

things memoable) model, we are looking at: (1) change, (2) novelty, (3) repetition, (4) application, and (5) thought speed.

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What makes you pay special attention to thespeaker? He or she makes something differenthappen. Something changes.

Change

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NoveltyOne can make things memorable through novelty.Novelty is unique to each situation.Someone may dress in a dramatic way, makeoutrageous comments or sing in the middle ofthe presentation.

Although novelty involves personal risk, it willforce listeners to pay attention.

Novelty must be used only once in a while, or it loses its effectiveness.


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If information is repeated anumber of times, you are morelikely to remember it than if you only hear it once.

From introductions to full-fledged

political speeches, repetition sends

the signal – important!

Repetition

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Application involves “making it your own.You as a listener ask and answer the questions“So what?” and “How does it relate to me?”.

If you can apply information to yourself, youare more likely to understand and use it.

Application


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Making things memorable application

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Good listeners use their thought-speed advantage

in order to make things memorable. Whenlistening to basic information, these listeners aresaying to themselves:“Did I get it?”“What can I do with it?”“What else might I need to know?”

Thought speed


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Although not all good listeners use the same

methods, they all have some thinkingstrategies to help them get the information they need.

Let’s look at the example and see how listeners might work with them.

Using thinking strategies

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Directions“When you go to the store remember to bring

home:A bag of white beans,A half gallon of strawberry ice-cream,A gallon of milk,A pound of butter,A loaf of bread.”

Example:

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Let’s see how three listeners might remember that list.

Listener 1“The way I would go about remembering that would

beto picture a hill of beans with an upside down strawberry ice cream cone melting on top into rivers

ofmilk and butter coming down the sides. I would sit it all on a piece of bread.”


Example (cont.):

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Listener 2“I would remember this by three Bs- beans, bread, butter, plus milk and ice cream.”

Listener 3 “I would remember this by picturing myself walking through the grocery store where I always shop.

Example (cont.):

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There are five different thinkingstrategies people use to listen and to remember:

visualizationassociationmemory magicchunkingfocusing

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Some people learn to visualize or create mental pictures to help them retain information. The person who istened to the grocery list and pictured the ice cream melting on the beans was visualizing.

Visualization

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Listeners that use this technique try to create a connection

between the new information or idea and something

familiar.

Association


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Memory magic involves quickly finding a “gimmick” to help you recreate the important points at a later time.

“3Bs” in the previous example , “5Cs” in Finance …

“Hergele Necmi Arsız Karısını Kesip Rendeledi” in Chemistry …

“SWOT” in Business Administration…

Memory Magic

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Chunking involves listening and sorting things into large sections or “chunks” for easier recall.

The speaker may provide major points or headings. Often the listener has to create order from a large set

of

information.

Chunking

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Focusing implies identifying what is most important

for you as a listener and working hard to remember

that most important part.

Focusing


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Using thinking strategies focusing

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When following directions the listener can use

many of the techniques we examined before. (visualization, association… etc)

Yet, listening to directions can be more difficult

than other types.

Following directions

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It takes some extra techniques. These are:

Predicting pitfallsQuestioning for problem spotsRepeating the highlights

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unfamiliar language:

A careful listener will ask “What does ____ mean?”when following directionsdepends upon

understandinga word or phrase that is unfamiliar.

Predicting pitfalls

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clarity:

Whereas the language issue rises the question, “Whatdoes ____ mean?”, the issue of clarity requires another question, namely “What do you mean by __ when you use the word?”

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Good listeners usually ask speakers to tell them what

might be problem spots in the directions. Questions that produce additional needed information to the listener are such as;

“What problems might I run into using these directions?”“Are there any tricky parts in these directions?”

Questioning for problem spots

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Very often a good listener will repeat back theimportant parts of a set of directions in order to check out the accuracy of the message.

This technique gives the highlights but it also gives the speaker a chance to correct or clarifysomething that is incorrect or vogue.

Repeating the highlights


LISTENING FOR LISTENING FOR STRUCTURESTRUCTURE

“My assignment is to talk to you for a while, and yours is to listen to me. I trust we will both finish our work at the same time.”

Adlai Stevenson

LISTENING FOR LISTENING FOR STRUCTURESTRUCTURE

Finding main pointesSupporting materialOrganizational patternMore organizational clues

Mahmut ŞAHİN

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LISTENING FOR STRUCTURE

In order to see how effective listeners look at structures, we will examine the following areas:

1. finding main points2. recognizing organizational

patterns3. finding additional organizational

clues

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Sometimes speakers give you very clear indications of their main points. Other times you have to figure out what is important for yourself.

It is not easy to seperate main ideas from supporting ideas.

Usually the most important ideas are the main ideas. The other material is called supporting material, because it is used to backup the main points.

Finding main points

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Supporting material

Types of supporting materials include:

1- descriptions2- humor3- statistics4- real life examples5- personal examples

6- stories7- questions8- quotations9- definitions

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EXAMPLE:

“There have been many breakthroughs in science that help us lead healthy lives. One is the discovery of the benefits of fiber in foods. If you base your diet on high fiber foods, you can lose weight and gain another health benefits. Foods high in fiber include beans, bran cereals, cereal products, nuts and dried fruit. Many vegetables are relatively high in fiber. So eat your corn, carrots, broccoli, and greens. Eat to keep yourself happy.”

Supporting material

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We can talk about the main point in two ways: as the “key idea” when discussing conversational, informal statements and as the purpose statement when referring to a formal speech.

Which sentence provides a general sense of what this

statement is about?

What key idea appears to be supported by statistics, quotes, examples?

Supporting material

Key ideas

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The purpose statement in a speech is similar to the thesis statement found in an essay. The purpose statement provides the central idea that controls the shape of the speech.

Which sentence provide a general sense of what the purpose of this speech will be?

How is the purpose statement supported by questions, examples, quotations, statistics…etc?

Purpose statements

Supporting material

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There are a number of common organizational patterns

that listeners need to be able to recognize. These include:

Organizational patterns

1. Chronological order2. Spatial order3. Topical order4. Process order

5. Problem-solution order6. Inductive order7. Motivated sequence order

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Placing the points of the speech into a time pattern.

This time-oriented pattern is easy to follow because you are able to see the logical movement through a chronological order.

“the history of airtravel”“the past and future of the Olympics”“For the next few minutes I would like to describe the seven days of the Outward Bound program

thatyou will attend.”

Chronological order


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Organizing information based on the physical relationship of people, places, or objects.

You may realize that a speaker is talking about experiences or people in one place and then moving on to another place.

“historcal sites in Turkiye”“the neighborhoods of Malatya”

“As an exchange student I had the opportunity to live for three

months in three different cities, Munich, Hamburg, and Berlin.

Let me tell you a little each of them.”

Spatial order


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Dividing a whole topic into natural parts. Any point could be first or last.

“types of video games”“the paintings of Picasso”

“The success of this art center rests with three factors:faculty, facilities, and funding. We need to look at each of these in depth.”

Topical order


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“the making of music videos”

“creating home made pizza”

“If you want to become a naturalized

citizen, you must go thruough a very specific set of procedures. It will

saveyou a lot of time to do this

paperwork in the right order.”

Process order


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Organizing information around two major areas: problems and solutions.

“the rising national debt”“acid rain and pollution”

“In order to reverse the pollution from acid rain, we need to understand the extend of the damage and to moount a three-pronged attack to prevent more extensive pollution.”

Problem-solution order


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Organizing facts or examples to build to a conclusion.

“donating to local charities”“raising salaries for educators”

“I would like you to picture a number of prison situations with me and then decide what might

orshould be done about them.”

Inductive order


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Specific pattern for persuasive speeches developed by the late Alan Monroe, proffesor

atPurdue University.

There are five steps to this pattern:(1)attention,

(2)need, (3)satisfaction, (4)visualization, and (5)action.

Motivated sequence order


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The speaker tries to get the listeners’ attention and to describe some problem or situation that needs to be changed.

“teenage unemployment”“cost of medical care”“I’ll give some shocking statistics about child abuse,

describe the problem in our city, point out new directions, describe the benefits of these directions and ask for your support in my

fight for children’s lives.”

Motivated sequence order


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Transitions are those words or phrases that form bridges or links between one idea and another.

meanwhile, first-second, also, next, on the contrary,

moreover, finally, because, since, similarly, in the second place…etc

Transitions

More organizational clues

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As a listener, you have to pay close attention

for the speaker’s repetition, which tells you

the main ideas and order of the speech.

(I) “…Disney World is a whole recreational park. I’ll talk about the areas I find most exciting, the Magic Kingdom, Epcot Center, and the River area.”

(C)“…So the next time you get to Florida, do spend a few days at Disney World and be sure to see my favourite places, the Magic Kingdom, Epcot Center, and the River area.”

Repetition


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By predicting the important points, the speaker allows

the listener to sort out what is important from what is

unimportant.

“I’ll be describing Vincent Van Gogh’s childhood, and I want you

to listen for those things that might have influenced his painting.”

Predictions


LISTENING TO FEELINGS

Sharing FeelingsListening Between the WordsListening Response StylesReflective Listening

CANAN KARATAŞ

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LISTENING TO FEELINGS

Listening is usually defined as a “5E” process involving your ears, eyes, experience, examination and effort.

We can add one more “E” for empathy. This involves listening to another person by putting yourself in his or her shoes-by being sensitive to that person’s thoughts and feelings.

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Sharing Feelings

As an empathic listener you are able to share the feelings of another because you recognize your own feelings and you can recognize messages containing feelings.

People cloak their feelings in statements such as “I think…” or “I believe…”.For example; Instead of saying “I am angry…” a person may say “I think you made a big mistake.”

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Listening Between the Words

Hearing what is inferred but not actually said

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Many people do not say what they mean, particularly when they are talking about feelings-especially negative ones. As a listener, you hear a hint or part of what is in the speaker’s mind. But you do not get the whole story directly.

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How might you interpret the following statement by a friend?

“I am certainly not up for spending Thanksgiving at my father and step-mother’s. I wish the day would just disappear.”

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Depending on your knowledge of the context of this person, you may interpret the underlying feelings as:

“I am jealous of my father’s time with his new wife”

“I feel guilty leaving my mother on Thanks giving”

“I feel uncomfortable in their house. I just don’t fit in.”

“I feel sad not spending Thanksgiving with my mother.”

“I feel upset watching Dad relate to this new woman.”

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You must listen for deeper meanings.

Listen for the paralanguage elements of speech.

How something is said rather than what is said.

Aspects of verbal communication unrelated to the words used.

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When listening between the words, use the advice of a wise person who says:

“Please listen carefully and try to hear what I’m not saying

So when I’m going through routineDo not be fooled by what I’m saying.”

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Listening Response Styles

If someone shares feelings with you, do you have a predictable response?Could you describe the ways in which you respond to feeling statements?

The same feeling statement may receive very different responses from various listeners.

Different responses can change the future direction of the conversation.

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“Wow, after all these years of pharmacyschool, I thought it was guaranteed that Icould get a job right after graduation. I’ve

been looking everywhere for a position,but I can’t find one. My parents always

told me that after I graduated theywouldn’t support me anymore. With

graduation coming up next month, I’mtotally overwhelmed.”

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5 listening response styles

Judgmental Response: “Everyone who really

wants a job badly enough can get one, even if you have to work at a fast-food place for a while until you get something in your field.”

Advice-Giving Response: “Network with last

year’s alumni, look for the postings by the student lounge and call the hospital’s employment office.”

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Quizzing Response: “Have you asked all your professors? Have you looked in the newspaper? Did you go to the career placement office?

Placating Response: “Oh, don’t worry so much, I’m sure something will turn up soon and then you’ll laugh when you look back and see how silly you were to get so worked up.”

Empathic Response: “Wow, with graduation right around the corner and feeling as though you can’t turn to your parents one more time for help, you sound pretty worry.”

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Reflective Listening

Reflective listening involves giving feedback to a speaker on what you are hearing in terms of feelings and content.

Reflective listening encourages the speaker to go deeper into the situation. It does not move the speaker on to new directions.

When you listen reflectively ,you are not taking charge of the conversation. Rather you are letting the speaker determine the flow of the conversation.

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An example to an reflective listening:Speaker: “This is a stupid assignment. Why should we have to

do an analysis on the Civil War and have to use all those resources. It is due next Monday and I don’t care. It is stupid.”

Listener: “You are angry with the assignment and the time schedule.”

Speaker: “You bet I am. I don’t have 20 hours this weekend to do a paper.”

Listener: “This is going to mess up your weekend.”Speaker: “It sure will. I don’t read as fast as other people, and it

will take me eight hours just to read to book. And then ! Have got to write the analysis. I hate it that it takes me so long.”

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The technique of reflection

In reflection, the listener tries to clarify and restate what the other person is saying. This can have a threefold advantage: it can increase the listener's

understanding of the other person; it can help the other to clarify their

thoughts; and it can reassure the other that someone is

willing to attend to his or her point of view and wants to help.

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Some principles of reflective listening

More listening than talking

Responding to what is personal rather than to what is impersonal, distant, or abstract.

Restating and clarifying what the other has said, not asking questions or telling what the listener feels, believes, or wants.

Trying to understand the feelings contained in what the other is saying, not just the facts or ideas.

Working to develop the best possible sense of the other's frame of reference while avoiding the temptation to respond from the listener's frame of reference.

Responding with acceptance and empathy, not with indifference, cold objectivity, or fake concern.

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The Choices Made by the Reflective Listener

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Rules for Active Listening

The goal of active listening is for you to hear and understand other people - their words, thoughts, and feelings; to let them know you have heard and understood them, and to go beyond their stated positions and assertions.

You are best positioned to change someone's mind after you have listened to that person. People tend to close down and stick to their position until they feel heard.

Acknowledge others' motivations, feelings, and point of view, even when you don't agree with what they are saying. Your goal is to understand the message, not judge the veracity of what they say.

Talk about things they have said that you can agree with. Focus on shared viewpoints as a way of building common ground.

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When listening, resist the urge to defend yourself or to disprove what the other person is saying.

Listen more than you talk.

Listening gives you the advantage. The better your understanding, the more flexibility and creativity you'll have as you create options. Talking gives this advantage to the other side.

Find your own listening style.

Don't use active listening when you're unwilling to put aside your point of view. Forced responses that feign interest are worse than no responses at all. People will see through your act. Hostility, instead of communication, will result.

ACTIVE LISTENING WHY AND HOW ? M. Nur ALTINÇEKİÇ Fatma SERGİCİ M. Nihan BOZDOĞAN Mahmut...

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