A VALENTINE. BUDGET OF FUN. POLL PARROTS. · 2017. 12. 14. · A VALENTINE. If only I might sing...
Transcript of A VALENTINE. BUDGET OF FUN. POLL PARROTS. · 2017. 12. 14. · A VALENTINE. If only I might sing...
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A VALENTINE.
I f on ly I m ight sing Like birds in spring—
■ Robin, or thrush, or wren, In grove or glen.
I f only I m ight s u i t
To harp or lute,To chime in tender time
■ Some touching rhyme—
Then I'd not hope in vaiu Thine car to gain,B ut now—I ha lt—I quail— A h ! must I fail?
So small m y skill to plead My earnest need.Love—love is ail the plea I bring to thee.
— Cl hi foil Seal lard, in the Cc,
\ A T R E A S U R E H U N T .
In the fa ll o f 1 Sol* a nn n named .Tamo:; Shields, w ho hailed from Charleston, ap peared in Boston and interested several < ap itulists in a strange adventure. As near as I >.\:is ever able to learn, fo r reasons which 1 w i l l exp la in, lie had located a treasure-wreck to the cast o f the Canary Islands— between them and the coast o f Morocco. W hat papers he had know n only to the other members o f the syndicate, l ie must have had a p re tty .plausible yarn, fo r they bought and out- (fitted a b r ig and sailed away on the 'search. 1 was second mate o f the b r ig , and a ll 1 knew about the voyage was tha t the articles read ' “ To the Canary Is lands and surrounding waters and re turn , j The firs t mate knew no more than 1 d id , and w h ile the Captain, no doubt, knew all about i t , ho was as mum as an oyster. ! Shields went along as passenger, and a 1 man named Harper was aboard to act as agent fo r the others.I W hile the ob ject o f the voyage was k e p t secret, we had hard ly cleared Huston harbor before it w;is understood by a ll th a t i t was a treasure hun t. W e were in ballast on ly, had a fu l l crew and one man over, and the chains and cables and d iv in g bell pu t aboard a ll went to prove j th a t wc were go ing to fish fo r dollars ly in g under water.! I t is a long voyage from Boston to the Canaries, bu t we had a fa ir iy good run o f ! l it O ur b r ig was called the Swallow , 'and as she was a good sailer and w ell prov isioned,there was no g ro w lin g among tin-
o th e r fro m a b o v e , and th e n a shock as th e
s tra n g e r cam e a lo n g s id e . I n a m o m e n t,
as I k n e w b y th e tra m p in g o v e rh e a d , w c
h a d been b o a rd e d b y a la rg e gang. T w o
o r th re e pisto ls w e re f ire d , th e re was shouting and runn ing , and a fte r few m in utes I made certain th a t th e A lgerine h ad
taken possession. Men began to ru m mage the b r ig , and a-: one o f the hatches was pu lled o il I retreated to the h id in g place I had selected. Three o r fou r men came down w ith a lantern to examine the ho ld , and T heard them cursing away in the M oorish tongue because they found no cargo.
It, was now evening and the w in d bad d ied en tire ly out. I crept ou t o f tlie box and stood under the main hatch, and
i as the cover was pa rtly o ll I cou ld p la in ly hear what was go ing on, a lthough I
I could no t understand w hat was s a id . A- ' I iieard no th ing from any o f our e r , w. 1 ! concluded th a t they were either prison
ers in the cabin or had been transferred to the dhow . T p to m id n ig h t the ce - sels lay side by side, the flap o tth e 'r sails p rov ing a dyad calm, b u t so u a fte r tha t a brcey, sprang up and we were fo rg ing s low ly ahead. I heard them h a iling from one c ra ft to another, and 1 would
I have given a great deal to have been able to understand the tongue. I t was my
’ j idea th a t they were go ing to run the b r ig over t<> tlie M oorish coast as a prize, and tha t the crew w ould be sent in to the in te rio r as captives and slaws. Th is had been tlie täte o f more than one crew shipwrecked on tha t inhospitab le shore, and at th a t very tim e France had a man- o f-w ar on the coast and was dem anding the release of fifteen sailors kno w n to behold in ca p tiv ity .
The w in d not on ly he ld l ig h t d u rin g the rem ainder o f the n ig h t, bu t came front the east and thus headed us o ll. I sat on the hard ballast under the hatch, w ondering and p lann ing bu t a rriv in g at no conclusion. I t was fa ir to presume th a t I had not been missed, as no search was made fo r me; bu t th is was lit t le com fort. I f tiie b r ig was taken in to some bay on ,the coast she w ou ld be tho rou gh ly searched and 1 w ould be dragged out. I t w ou ld be only tw o or three days at the longest before hunger and th irs t w ould d rive me out.
D a y lig h t was not h a lf an hour o ld be- f ire I heard an alarm on deck, and it m ig li' have been another th ir ty m inutes when the boom o f a ca mon proved tha t we had a signal to heave to. The b r ig
BUDGET OF FUN.
s p ra n g up
a f t w i th such- ato sail a w a y w h e n a la rg e d h o w , such as ! , . . , ,, . . . • „I , , , - th e la d d e r a n d rushedtn c A ra b ia n s use m th e s lave tra d e , and , uo one saw m e u n t i l l w a8 a t
S eem ingly c a r ry in g a la rg e n u m b e r o f ^ s id e . L y in „ o ff t e w in d .D ien, a rr iv e d in th e b a y a n d a n c h o re d ; , i • ™ \ * • ___u
- V . « « « * / rru \\t a 1 w a r d w as a b ig F re n c h f r ig a te , a n dw n lu n a cab e s le n g th 0 f us. T h e AY est ; a , ;d e was on” o f h c r boats° . H a n g -
A fr ic a n coast o f t h i r t y years ago w as no t , P th c w in d h a l f a m ile d is ta n t, was
tra v e rs e d a m ost d a ily b y th e ate a m w a r « ^ , w i th a n o th e r o f th e f r ig a te saluns a n d steam ships o f several n a t io n s , ' . . ___ , __
1 , . 1 - , . , > boats ju s t b o a rd in g . O n o u r d e c ks w e rea n d th e m e rc h a n tm a n n e v er f e lt p e r fe c t ly , , . , J - , ° ., . -
f , ,. c . -, n i n th ir te e n M o o rs — s w a rth y , ra g g e d , andsafe o u ts id e th c b tra its o f G ib r a l ta r . , . ., • . „ P P ' ___« r i • - , , - s h o w in g th e v i l la in m every m o v e m e n t.W h e th e r t in s d h o w w as b o u n d d o w n th e , *. .
. . , , , _ . i T h e fe llo w in c o m m a n d w as lu s t o p e n in gcoast a f te r a c arg o o f b lac k s o r Was c rin s - 1, . . , , y i
, i i # •___ ' b is m o u th to m a k e e x p la n a tio n s to th em g fo r n o b le r f r y w as an e n ig m a . >Ve . . . , T 1 in . , f , ,, ; o lh e er w h e n I cam e u p o n th c scene a n dc a rr ie d an a rsenal o f s m a ll arm s, b u t n o th - 1 s[10l^ ed
i n g i n th c w a y o f c an n o n . O n e o f o u r i -n I ‘ -L ie u te n a n t, th a t d h o w y o n d e r is a
m e n , w h o w as sen t a lo f t fo r th e pu rp o s e, j d i r a t ’nd she t u J a t dark- r e p o r te d th a t h e was c e r ta in th e d h o w j . . ^ , , , ’ 1
'c a rr ie d tw o pieces o f o rd n an ce fo r w a r d . j he re p lie d as he lo o k e dI T h e u h o w cam e in a b o u t te n o c lo c k in 1 . . . . 1\ v . I , , ; m e o v e r w i th cu rio u s eye.Che m o rn in g , and as soon as h e r a n c h o r » T u • a a u \ * u i i a
W as d o w n her boats s ta rte d fo r th c shore . ! 1 b n e f ly to ld M m w h o a n d w h a t w e*„ T1 . . . , « i i a h ' w e re , a n d th e a ctio n s o f th e M o o rs c o r-W h a t th e e rra n d was w e c o u ld n o t t e l l . , * . , . TT n a *l . , . .. a fi ro b o ra te d m y s to rv . H e c a lle d fo u rtm t guessed th e y w e re a f te r fru its . A f t e r . \[ ,• b i / . ,, , , Ä t c m a rin e s a b o a rd a nd sent th e b o a t b a c kf h a a c r h e r C a p ta in w as p u lle d a b o a rd o f . . mu * • a u a a -r*. ii TT 1 A . . 1 , j w i th a m essage. T h e f r ig a te h a d d r i f t e dkis. H e was an A lg e r in e , w ith as w ic k e d 1 , . . . . 0 1 n , .T c , . • I _ . , • d o w n a l i t t le n e a r, a n d som e o f h e r gunsfe face on h im as a n y p ira te e v e r e a rn e d , 1, , , , , ’ m• n d th o u g h he t r ie d to re n d e r h is v is it j b/ en ™ \ looa?: ^ ™ lu c ^ ’. '*Jrery p leasant he le f t n o th in g b u t d is tru s t a . 0 a su< ( c a e luW sl iri:aj ie;r ' - r i h i w in g s to sad a w a v . YY e saw th e f r ig a te s
b e h in d . O n e a n d a ll be - . p , , J , ,, j , jI b o a t s en t a d r i f t , a n d a f te r w a r d le a rn e d
! th a t th e b o a rd in g o ffice r w as cast n e c k
: a n d heels o v e r th c ra i l to ta k e care o f
h n d suspicion b
lie v e d th a t he cam e as a spy . H e a sked ,
fes n a tu ra l, o u r p o r t o f h a i l , w h ith e r
b o u n d , o u r c arg o , a n d so o n , a n d i t was
th o u g h t b es t to te l l h im th a t w e h a d been
•e n t o u t b y th e A m e r ic a n G o v e rn m e n t to
fe scue a c re w o f A m e ric a n sa ile rs s h ip
w re c k e d som e t im e b e fo re a b o u t th re e
h u n d re d m ile s b e lo w th e coast. YYre h ad
h im s e lf . I t w as a d esperate reso lve w ith
th c d h o w ,a n d i t m ig h t h a v e s ucceeded a t
lo n g e r ra n g e . A s i t was she h a d n o t
m o v e d a h u n d re d y ard s w h e n b o o m !
b o o m ! w e n t th e guns and w c saw th e
tout in fo r w a te r a n d re p a irs , a n d w o u ld | ■PU nters g ; « h e a t once lu ffe d u p and {o o n resum e o u r v o y a g e . T h is s to ry le t e v e ry th in g g o , a n d a n o th e r b o a ts
te e m e d to sa tis fy h im , a n d , a f te r a lu n c h
In th e c a b in , he to o k h is d e p a rtu re . | •CiV'7 J l'u l f rh a t a fte rn o o n he d ro p p e d o u t o f th e 1 * ren cü n ian
b a y w i th th c t id e , a n d w c e x p e c te d w e
b a d seen th e last o f h im . W c w e re a ll
tç lad en o u g h to seo h im g o , fo r no m an
th o a r d d o u b te d th a t he w as up to m is
c h ie f .
I* T h e n e x t m o rn in g w c w e re re a d y to
t a i l , a n d n o w I le a rn e d m ore o f th e o b
je c t o f th e v oyag e th a n e v e r b e fo re ,
s h ie ld s h a d a B r it is h c h a rt o f th c w a te rs ,
tond m id w a y b e tw e e n th e n o rth ea s te rn
is la n d a nd th e m o u th o f th e D ra h a R iv e r
b e h a d m ad e a p e n c il m a rk . YY'hether th is
j to o d fo r a shoal o r a w r e c k I d id no t
le a rn .
; A t 5 o 'c lo c k in th e a fte rn o o n , h a v in g
h e ld a course to th e n o rth ea s t since w e , , . , , „le f t th e b a y , w o to o k s o u n d in g s , a nd i a b o a rd o f th e d h o w
found bottom at five fathom s. TIds went. ! a"'a-v for 1 was
c re w was soon a lo n g s id e .
E v e r y th in g w as soon m ad e p la in to th e
YVhen th e d h o w b o a rd e d
us h e r h o t h e a d e d c re w w e re r ip e fo r
k i l l in g , a n d w ith o u t th e s lig h e s t p ro v o
c a tio n S h ie ld s w as sh o t th ro u g h th c
b e a d . H a r p e r p ro te s te d , a n d sh ared th e
sam e fa te , w h ile one o f th e v illa in s
slashed o u r C a p ta in across th e fa ce a n d
gave h im a w o u n d w h ic h was m o n th s in
h e a lin g . T h e d e a d b o d ies w ere searched
a n d th ro w n o v e rb o a rd , a n d th e liv in g
tra n s fe rre d to th e d h o w . T h e y w ere
fo u n d in h e r h o ld h a lf d e a d fo r w a n t o f
a ir , a n d m o m e n ta r ily e x p e c tin g to b e le d
o u t a n d m u rd e re d . T h e A lg e r in e was
c a u g h t re d h a n d e d , a n d c o u ld t r u m p u p
no excuse. H e a n d h is w h o le g a n g w e re
tra n s fe rre d to th e f r ig a te , a p r iz e c re w
a n d w e sailed
fo u n d b o tto m a t fiv e fa th o m s . T h is w e n t ! a " a-v lu r 1 i1,1
lo sh o w th a t S h ie ld s h a d m a rk e d a shoal. ! ! 1,ere’ L a d n 0 .P a r t ln th e P«>ceed- I h e a rd th e C a p ta in a n d m a te t a lk in g ' n^ ' C a p ta in , m a te , a n d one or
a b o u t c o m in g to a n c h o r, b u t no ordern I tw o « 'h ^ s w e r e co n d em n e d a n d e xc -
L d y e t been g iv e n w h e n th e -d h o w cam e ! a m l he dTh o w w as m ?de a P " 2*
• te a l in g d o w n u p o n us fro m th e cast, ; ? tb<* Xt T c u r rc u t ly r c P0 fte dc o m in g o u t o f th e b lu r w h ic h h u n g o v e r ' th * ‘ a a r^ c f m o n c y fo u n d
th e w a te r as on e m ig h t s u d d e n ly a p p e a r ! u n d e r ,c r f b ' u do ° r ’ a n d tb a t f,v e ry
f r o m b e h in d a c u r ta in . S he w a s n ’t o v e r ,n an , a b o fLd th c fr l .Ga te w as w cl1 r c ’ tw o m iles a w a v w h en firs t s ig h te d , a n d ! * a rd e d ' T b e ™ a m m g P ^ o n e r s , n u m - a f te r a h u rr ie d c o n s u lta tio n th e b r ig ’s b o n n g o v e r fo r ty m e n , w e re a f te r a t im e
h e a d w as p e r m it te d to fa l l o ff a n d w e j e lf ;h a n f ? fo r tb e . s h lP . ^ ckKe d i r e a c b ’ b e a d e d to th e n o r th w i th a l ig h t w in d : ,n ien: v lh lle 10 u r b n f u s a ,le d ^ m e em pt, tobeam. T h e d h o w a lte re d h e r course to b a n d e d a n d m u c l\ tb c "ovse ofl fo r th r
in te rc e p t us, a t th e sam e t im e s ig n a lin g ; s tra n Sc v o y a g e . - A e * io rk Sun.♦ h a t she w a n te d to speak us. H e r a p p e a r-
kn e e c re a te d surprise a n d c o n s te rn a tio n , ' -vps'
fcnd w h e n i t was seen th a t she m e a n t to “ D y e in g ." s a y s an e x p e rt in th e Wash la y us a b o a rd a c o n s u lta tio n w as h e ld in in (/ton. Star, “ s im p ly m eans b o ilin g
th e c a b in as to w h a t s h o u ld be d o n e . • A j th in g s in c o p p er k e tt le s fo r th e p ro p e l
d e c is io n w as rea c h e d v e ry q u ic k ly . She t im e in a s o lu tio n o f d y e a n d w a te r . F o t
c o u ld sail tw o fe e t to o u r on e, and i t w as ! w h a t w e c a ll ‘ fa n c y co lo rs ’ w e use the
p la in th a t she c o u ld b o a rd us w h e th e r w e auiline t in ts th a t are d e r iv e d fr o m coalconsen ted o r n o t. T h e re w as som e ta lk
o f g e t t in g up th e a rm s , b u t th is w as o n ly
s in o n g th c m en fo r w a r d . T h e head o f
th e b r ig w as b ro u g h t fo r w a r d to th e w in d ,
a n d as darkn es s cam e s te a lin g d o w n o v e r
fh e Sea th e d h o w cam e g l id in g to w a rd us
l ik e a serp e n t a p p ro a c h in g its p re y .
F r o m th e firs t a p pearan ce o f th e d h o w
ta r . E v e r y co a l b ed is a m in e o f ra in b o w
hue«, y o u k n o w . T h e a n il in e dyes e m
p lo y e d a re c h ie fly fo r l ig h t b lu e , m a ro o n ,
c a rd in a l re d a n d such b r i l l ia n t e ffec ts .
YVoods g ro u n d to coarse p o w d e r are
la rg e ly re lie d u p o n b y th e d y e r . F o r in
s tance, th e re is s a n ta l w o o d fo r e c ru , fro m
th e S a u ta i w o o d Is la n d s : lo g w o o d fo r re d ,I h a d n o d o u b t th a t she m e a n t us e v i l. I 1 fro m S ic i ly ; g a ll n u ts fo r s ilv e r d rabs ,
w as re a d y to d o m y fu l l share to w a n l , f ro m A le p p o ; fu s t ic fo r y e l lo w , fro m
b e a tin g h e r o ff, b u t w h e n I w as to ld th a t | C u b a , n n .l m a d d e r ro o t fo r e c ru , from
th e re w o u ld b e n o res is tance, a n d w h e n ! th e so u th o f F ra n c e . I t has been fo u n d
th e w as w i th in p is to l-s h o t o f us, I e n - j th a t m a d d e r, a lte rn a te ly fe d to a n d w i t l i -
te re d th e fo re c a s tle , a n d fro m th e n c e b y h e ld f ro m g r o w in g a n im a ls , w i l l c o lo i
hieans b y m eans o f a s lid in g d o o r in th e ] th e ir bones so th a t in s e c tio n th e y w i l l
b u lk h e a d , passed in to th e h o ld . YVe a p p e a r w h ite a n d y e l lo w in a lte rn a tew ere ro c k -b a lla s te d , a n d in th e h o ld w e re
a score o r m o re o f e m p ty crates a n d boxes.
I s e lected one o f these as a p lace o f re fu g e ,
h a v in g a p le n ty o f m atch es to e n a b le m e
lo see m y w a y th r o u g h th e da rkn es s , b u t
r in g s fro m c e n te r to c irc u m fe re n c e . Y o u
m u s t re m e m b e r th a t a ll these a re used
in a n in f in i ty o f c o m b in a tio n s . I t is
ra re th a t one o f th e m is a p p lie d p u re and
s im p le . O n e d y e fo r c rim s o n is o b ta in e d
H U M O R O U S S K E T C H E S F R O M V A R IO U S S O U R C E S .
men, w licn, at times,she lay heaving on the ^ hfc hcad l0 th (. w ind f am id aglassy seas w ith o u t w in d enough to flare ; f.lan£ r o f v0lcef on deck, and tl.cna candle. The ob ject o f_ di® voyage-had “ ve ry th ing rtas q u ic t. i I10w n ia d e m y
way across the ballast to thc s lid in g door,. , _.- -, T, . . , opened i t a l i t t le to find the forecastle
ran in to Snnm s Bay, on the eastern side ^ j a l oncc d th ro u g h .o f th e g ro u p , th a t m erest w as a g a in a t X o t one im m e d ia te ly above
fe v e r h e a t. H e re w e to o k in fresh w a te r i r asf.ct,'d t .(1 'th o j ltd d o r a n d g o t a lo o k U e r h a u l o l th e - ta u d iu g r ig g in g , secured ! , * t , dee ks ju s t as a P r (Tn c h n a v a l jfresn p ro v is io n s , a n d w e re a lm o s t r e a d y , ° ■ r d i l . ! 8 p ra n g u ,,
T h e P a t r io t —X o P le a s u r e in I t — It A lw a y s H a p p e n s S o —I n d ir e c t
T a x a t io n —A C o n s id e r a te D eb to r , E tc .. E tc .
‘ D o w n w i t h a ty ran t foe," a i-1 Le,■ ' f i a t seeks this happy land:
A ll the ei;-Tgy tha t I possess My country may command.
‘ No arduous labor would I shirk.No task won! I 1 disdain.
To ckeck invasions hateful way And liberty maintain.”
An l v. hen he finished liis aldzess And moved eni-h hearer's soul.
H i- w ife Lad built the kitchen tire And carried in the coal.
— Mi rrhan l T n tr e ln .
>01 PI.KAM ni. IV IT.
F irs t Boy— --No, m y m other never whip- me. I t don’t do lie r any go o d ."
S- cond B ov— “ H ow ’s th a t:“ YVhv, she's deaf, you know , and she
can’ ,rr me v e il. "— .VF'- Y»rk Sun.
IT ALWAYS II UVK.VS SO.
T o m — “ I guess you know w hat side vour bread i.s bu ttered on, don t you , ’
]) je k — “ I guc-s [ do. It's bu ttered on the side tha t strikes the floor every time l happen to d rop a piece o f bread. IV?//.Ire Made.
SÏIK FOIIK'AW TEMPTATION’ .
“ Bv G eorge!” said a man last week, to lus w ife , “ th is is de licious weather.”
“ Yes, i t is.”“ A lm ost lik e summer. I f i t keeps lik e
th is I th in k I w il l go fish ing .’ ’“ Then I w il l pray w ith a ll m y m igh t
fo r a cold wave. I t isn ’ t a m onth since v o n joined the c lm re h .” — Merchant Trar-
T o th e a s to n is h m e n t o f Ids s it te r , the k n ig h t o f th e p a le tte , ab s o rb e d in h is
w o r k , th u s r e p lie d : “ M o v e vour. head a l i t t le th a t w a y , a n d shut your m o u th !”
N o t be ing accustomed to be spoken io in th is fashion, the bishop said : “ May 1 ask you w hy you address me in this manner
A r t is t (s till ab so rb e d }-“ ! want lo tak<- o i l a l i t t le o f your cheek.”
( 'ollapse of tlie bishop. — }'<»«/■ " M-t’1'.
HAVING SOME I I .V.
Sothern, the actor, was noted fo r his practical jokes, and he was not a ll d is c rim in a ting in choosing his victim s. L ione l B rough te lls o f one of tin- actors > pranks as fo llow s :
“ Sothern once asked a num ber o! friends, inc lud in g myself, to d inner. Om o f the guests was very late, and as It
! rang at the fro n t door Sothern - a i l : j ‘N ow we’ l l have some tun. A ll of you ! got under the tab le .’ We d id . and in j came our supposed v ic tim . ‘Oh, h<I said, ‘ I ’m g lad to see J m tiic firs t. 1
feared I was la te .’ ‘ YYell, as a m atter of j fact, you 're the la s t,’ said -Sathern; I ‘ they’re a ll here, b u t fo r some extraord in - . arv reason the moment you rung they a ll i go t under the tab le .’ As you may im ag- | ine, we crawled out in a very lim p lasli- , ion, and it was a long tim e before some ! o f us forgave our host.”
A CONSIDERATE DEBTOR.
C ollector— “ YY’ heu are you go ing to pay th is b ill? I can’ t be co in ing hear every day in the w eek.”
D eb to r— “ W ell, w hat day 'cou ld you ca ll on, conveniently •"
“ I cou ld ca ll on S aturday.”“ A ll r ig h t : from now on I shall e x
pect you every Saturday.” — Tex ax S ift-
that
IN D IR E C T T A X A T IO N .
T r a m p — “ I t ’s th e taxes , m u m .
k e e p us so ra g g e d a n ’ t h i n .”K in d L a d y (s p re a d in g h im a lu n c h )
“ H o w so: D o taxes f a l l h e a v ily on j
y o u ? ” I“ N o t d i r e c t ly , m u m . b u t th e y f a l l s o .
h e a v ily on th e fr ie n d s w e v is it th a t w c '
g e t b u t fe w lu x u rie s , a n d v e ry po o r j
c lo th i .T ! ’’— Time.
LATE AT TH E OBSERVATORY.
Y’ is ito r— “ P lease te l l m e w h e re I am :
to g o . I was in v i te d to see th e tra n s it o f j Yre n u s .”
A t te n d a n t— “ I am e x tre m e ly s o rry , ’
m a d a m , b u t y o u a re to o la te . T h e t r a i l - !
s it w as o v e r f if te e n m in u te s a g o .”
“ O h , t h a t ’s no m a tte r . T h e S n p e r in j
te n d e n t is a f r ie n d o f m in e , a n d I a m j
sure he w i l l h a v e i t do ue a g a in fo r m e.
— Fliegende Blaetter.
T h a n k s , A n g e l in a ,” th o u g h tfu lly
m u rm u re d th c y o u n g m a n . “ b u t th e last
t im e I k issed a g i r l on th e fo re h e a d I g o t
a b a u g in th e m o u th .”
A m o m e n t la te r he le f t th e house lo o k
in g as i f he h a d been e a t in g m a rs h m a l
low s. — Ifrrcard Lampoon.
to s e ll, a n d lie c a lle d up on a n o th e r do ale i
a n d le f t b is m e m o ra n d a , w i th th e re m a rk
th a t a m an w h o w as so m ig h ty e xc lu s iv e
as th a t c o u ld n e v e r g e t g e t n e a r enou gh
to th e p u b lic to sell a n y th in g .— Detroit Free Preis.
ON THE VERGE OF A P AMC.
S u r p r is in g a S e n a to r .
! D a v id Lc-w sley w as a t one t im e a r e p o r t
e r fo r a Y V ash iu g ton jo u r n a l, a n d in th a t
J ackso n (w h o se fin a n c ia l c re d it is g o n e ) ; c a p a c ity w as sen t to in te r v ie w S en a to r
-— “ I te ll y o u , Y V ith e rb e e . w e a re on th e In g a lls u p o n an im p o r ta n t m a tte r o f
verg e o f a f in a n c ia l p a n ic .” 1 s ta te . T h e S e n a to r , w h o h a d no in te n -
Y Y ith c rb e e —- “ P s h a w ! YVhat m ak e s ■ t io u w h a te v e r o f b e in g d r a w n in to a con-
y o u th in k th a t? ” j v ers a tio n on th a t s u b je c t, m e t M r . L e w s -
(C o n f id e n t ia liy )— “ W e ll , s ir , B a g ie v le y w i th h is accu sto m ed g ra c e , a id
a n d R o b e rts used to le n d m e s m a ll sum s j c o u rte o u s ly v e e re d th e c o n v e rs a tio n in to
a y e a r ag o . b u t w h en I g o to th e m n o w a - j o th e r c h a n n e ls . S o m e h o w , fo r w a n t o l
days fo r a five o r a te n , th e y te l l m e ! a n o th e r h a n d y s u b je c t, th e S e n a to r said
f r a n k ly th a t th e y h a v e n 't g o t i t . B a g le y j s o m e th in g a b o u t be a rd s , w h ic h le d to
a n d R o b e rts are tw o o f o u r best business , b a rb e rs , a u d , o f course, to th e g e n e ra l
m e n , to o . I te l l y o u , s ir , w e ’ re g o in g to s u b je c t o f s h a v in g .have a p a n ic .” — 7'ime.
NOT TO DATE.
“ Y o u m ust see a g o o d d e a l o f h u m a n
n a tu re on th e ear?” he q u e r ie d o f th e
c o n d u c to r .
“ N o , s i r .”“ Y o u d o n 't ! W h y , i t seems to be ju s t j p a id c a re fu l a tte n t io n to a l l th e S enator
th e p lac e fo r i t . ” * ! s a id , f ix e d fac ts a n d d a tes in h is m in d ,
“ B u t i t is n ’t . ” j a n d n o th in g . YY’ h e n th e S enato i
“ YUhy, y o u su rp ris e m e ; y o u m u s t see • h a d re la te d c irc u m s ta n tia l ly h is ownm any phases o f i t . ” ” I v a r ie d e x p e rie n c e w i th razo rs and
“ B u t I d o n ’t , s ir . I ’m w o r k in g fo r ! b rushes a n d soaps, re c o m m e n d in g this
fo u rte e n s h illin g s p e r d a y a n d lo o k in g m a k e o f b la d e a n d th a t b ra n d o f la th e i to
B y a ll m e a n s ,” s a id S e n a to r In g a lls ,
“ y o u s h o u ld le a rn to shave y o u rs e lf , ’ ’and
th e n h e w e n t on w i t h a le a rn e d , th o u g h t
f u l a n d h ig h ly e n te r ta in in g d is q u is it io n
on th e a d v a n ta g e s , eco n o m ic a n d m eta -
p h y s ic , o f s h a v in g one's s e lf r a th e r th a t
h ir in g a b a rb e r to d o i t . M r . L e w s le v
out fo r w o m e n w i t h b a b y cabs, a n d i f
there is a n y h u m a n n a tu re a ro u n d i t has
to ta k e c are o f i t s e l f .”— Detroit Free Press.
w a ite d a w h ile to see w h a t w o u ld h a p jten j fro m th e la c in s e c t, sc ra p e d fr o m th e
» b o r e . I h e a rd a h a il f ro m th e d h o w , a n - , b a r k o f c e r ta in trees in th e E a s t In d ie s ."
M r . L c w s 'le y ’s use, th e re p o rte r , c o n
v in c e d th a t lie c o u ld n o t le a rn w h a t he
h a d com e to le a rn , arose to g o . T h e re
w as , o r th e re p o rte r im a g in e d t h a t there
w as, a sort o f m e rry t r iu m p h a n t tw in k le
TOO SMART b y -HALF. in S e n a to r In g a lls s eye as he p o lite ly
S m a rt B o v ( re a d in g h is to rv to p lease b(?w e d h is ca ! le r fro ,n tlaej o o m - a w in k h is f a t h e r - “ F a th e r , th e re is one K in g w h ic h seem ed t o say : “ I h a v e m a d e th a t
whom the children never liked v e ry well, y o u n g m a n r e a lly fo r g e t w h a t he cam e
is n ’t th e re ? ” j fo r - - „ _ 0 _F a th e r — “ W e ll , re a lly , m y b o y , I T h e n e x t m o rn in g S e n a to r In g a lls wa<
h a d n ’t th o u g h t o f i t . B u t i t a ffo rd s m e l raorp o r less h o rr if ie d a t f in d in g in the m u c h p leasure to see y o u s to r in g y o u r ! ot!al n e w s p a p e r a t ru e re p o r t o f a ll he
m in d w i th k n o w le d g e th a t can b e us e fu l | b a d sa' d ’ in c lu d in g th e e arn e s t recom
to you in th e g re a t fu tu re th a t is b e fo re ! T ndat,Io n o f s h a v in g * ° Ty o u . B u t w h a t K in g is i t to w h o m y o u j w h ,c b h c u n q u a lif ie d ly p ro n o u n c e d thc r e fe r * ” v e ry best th a t c o u ld be h a d . B u t th e re-
“ S p a n -k in g ,” w as th e d u b io u s re p ly . ! p o r te r ’s v en geance w as n o t y e t satis fied . - - - 1 * 1 H e m a rk e d th e a r t ic le a n d sen t i t to theA n d th e n th e s m a rt b o y had an o p n o r- ! , . ,
tu n ity o f d e c id in g w h e th e r h c l ik e d th a t i m a n u fa c tu re r o f th e re c o m m e n d e d soap_ ! I n n f *.4-n « . A ,4 4 Ii n I, ntl*C 1 \ -1 TV / 1 f*Q i II IV fII. .In a fo r tn ig h t th e n ew spapers , th e pe
! r io d ic a ls a n d a ll th e m a n y m eans eni-
! p lo y e d b y a d v ertis e rs w e re b ro u g h t in tc
I use, a n d S e n a to r In g a lls 's e lo q u e n t eu lo -
! g y o f th a t soap was p r in te d in evc-ry
I fo rm th a t c o u ld be dev is e d to a ttra c to f it
r , ( «.jj.,,.,,,,, vw...~ ..............j th a t thoo f t ig h t la e m g . „ v e ry exp ress ion s, e a rn e s t a n d g lo w in g as
“ O n th e c o n tra ry , M r . S m id g le y , re - ! th e J w e re a l l h is o w n .-B oston Post.tu rn e d M is s L a u ra , w i th a w is t fu l,y e a rn -
k in g o r n o t .— Dansrillr Breeze.
TH A T W OODEN-HEADED TOFNG MAN.
“ I ta k e i t fo r g ra n te d , M i«s L a u r a ,
said y o u n g D r . S m id g le y , “ th a t y o u con
demu. as a ll sensible young women do, j IiU. a tten tion . A ud the worst the unwholesome and barbarous practice , " th r ^ uator cou ld no t deny thatn f t m h t l o D i n r r ' ! . .
in g lo o k in h e r g lo r io u s d a r k e ye , “ I
th in k a com pressio n o f th e w a is t to a
reasonab le e x te n t not o n ly harm less b u t
a t tim e s p o s it iv e ly e x h ila r a t in g .”
A n d th a t dense , s tu p id , w o o d e n
hea d e d y o u th eat th e re fo r an h o u r a n d
a rg u e d w i th th e y o u n g la d y on th e e v ils
o f t ig h t la c in g .— Chicago Tribune.
n o t OH TA LK TO A BISIIOP.
A v en e ra b le and d ig n if ie d b ls lio p re -
A C o n g re s s m a n a t H o m e
W h e n A m o s J . C u m m in g s , w h u h a ;
S un set C o x ’s seat in C ong ress, goes p;
h is h o m e , one o f h is p a rro ts h ears hi-,
s tep a fa r o ff a n d b e g in s to c a ll o u t:
“ H u l l o ! H u l l o ! ” A fe w m in u te s la te r ,
w h e n d in n e r is s erv e d , th is p a rro t s its or,
one s ide o f th e C ong ressm an on a p e rch ,
a n o th e r p a r ro t sits close b y in a cage,
a n d a w re tc h e d l i t t le w h if fe t d o g th a t
C u m m in g s im a g in e s to be a b e a u t ifu l and
in te l l ig e n t a n im a l, fr is k s a b o u t a n d paw s
a n d w h in e s fo r h is share o f th e m e a l.
A f t e r d in n e r i f th e p r in te r-C o n g re s s m a n
c e n tly w as h a v in g h is p o r t r a it p a in te d
b y a u e m in e n t a r t is t . A f t e r s it t in g
s te a d ily fo r a b o u t an h o u r in s ile n c e , h is
lo rd s h ip th o u g h t h e w o u ld l ik e to b re a k st^ V8 h o m e he ta k e s d o w n h is b a n jo and th e m o n o to n y w t th a r e m a rk . A c c o rd - | o u t i t th e tu n e9 th a t m ore
in g ly h e s a id to th e a r t is t : “ H o w are i th a n once g o t h im a m e a l o r a b ed in his
y o u g e t t in g o a f ] a d v e n tu ro u s , r o v in g b o y h o o d . — Chatter.
POLL PARROTS.
AN O RIG IN AL B E LI.E .
i Y lr. L ig h t fo o t— “ Miss M m im erfic ld , you must pardon me. bu t rea lly 1 cannot longer forbear to te ll you how m uch 1
! love y o u —oh, Ju lia , say th a t you w il l uc- i cept me !”
M issSum m erfie ld—“ ( >!i—a— Mr. L ig h t- fo o t! T h is —is— a— so sudden ! You —
j a— must give me tim e -— j M r. L ig h tfo o t— “ B u t do you not knowI vour own heart? D o not tr ille w ith me.! Speak! Suspense would be cruel.
M i-s Sum m eriiehl— “ I f —a—you— must-------The tru th is a-------Y’ou a--------Y \e ll,
• rea lly, M r. L ig h tlo o t, 1— a— must sayl th a t-------1 d o n 't know how to «let-line
you .”Y lr. L ig h tfo o t (about to embrace her)
— “ M y d a rling , I knew th a t-y o u loved ; uie-------”I Miss Summ erfield— “ Oh, na, you m i-- j understand. I mean to say tha t th is te l l
ing a man one w il l be his sister is such ! an aw fu l chestnut th a t I must have tim e j to th in k up som ething else."— Life.
TWO TER CENT. ON $ 4 0 ,0 1 )0 .
A boq t a week ago a D e tro it real estate j dealer tmeame very tire d and had thc fo l
lo w in g sign p rin te d and posted on his I door:
iT o tra m p s need a p p ly .”
“ N o money to lend .” i “ Haven’t a postage stamp to spare.” i “ N o matches supp lied .”I “ YVe have had thc g rip p e .”! “ H a v e seen a d o zen such w in te r s .”
j “ YVe are n o t ‘ in ’ to b o re s .”
! “ YVe have no ra ilroad pass.”“ W e d o n ’t w a n t to in v e s t in m in e s .’
! “ N o corns to be pared o ff .” i “ N o stationery w anted.”j “ YYre do n 't sign any bonds."! “ D on ’t w ant any life insurance.”
“ Interview ers w il l please keep o u t.”: Tho sign had been up a day or so Whenj an o ld man opened the door very care
fu lly and walked in , and a fte r a b it ob ______ jserved :
H E R OFFER REJECTED. ‘ ‘£ e ^ ^ s i§ ? ° U,t ’ ’. „ , ,, , . . . ; “ Then p ro fit bv i t , was the brusque“ Farew ell, dearest, she sighed, as ' ] v
she lay against the k p e l o f h is double- j ^ fe 's h u t the door and went awav, land breasted coat, “ and, George you may j h a lf a dav la te r th a t siga came down, kiss me once, on m y for- head, ere you j Thf; oW ^ an had $40,000 w o rth o f landg o - - - - - .
S O M E P R A C T IC A L H IN T S O X T H E I R H A 15ITS AN D T R A IN IN G .
H o w T h e y A r e I m iio r tc t l a m i A e e li- in a t iz e d —D y in « i’<>r W a n t o f
P r o p e r C a r e —T ea c h in g 'T h e m to T a lk ,
‘ -J suppose you know lln r. «-very -liip from tin isthm us laud - at h-a-t. a -core o f parrots in Sail Fram-i-eo, ’ -a id an enthusiastic b ird tamer to a reporter 1 ite ly .
“ W hat become- o f them ?”“ 1 believe most o f them die w ith in a
month fo r wanr ot proper care, aud \e r \ few o f tin rest learn to ta lk . O f eour-" all the liarro ts don ’t come from the i-tiunqs or the coa-t towns where the .-leanvrs c 'lil. B u t enough come from I lies' po in t- at a low figure to make it w ell w o rth w h ile fo r a man to undertake the businc-s .,1 tra in ing' and aochm atiz ing them. You >au yet a young parro j at C o ivu to o r Acapulco, or at almost any Central American po rt, fo r five pesos 'about s i , , that w il l be w orth from sà I to .-Moo when properly taught. If s easy enough when you know thc way.
“ Sonin varieties are be tter than o ilie r-.
H a r i K a r i in J a p a n .
T h e fo l lo w in g d e s c r ip tio n o f th e J a p a n
ese m e th o d o f c o m m it t in g suicide is g iv e n
by an E n g lis h p a p e r :The fa m ily and friends o f the noble to
com m it suicide entered the room led by a priest, the la tte r bearing in his hands a fu l l b loom ing lotus flower, w h ich he deposited across the sword ly in g upon the p la tfo rm , an il the spectators took seats around the room. The nobleman then
I entered, drcs-cd in pure w hite garments,I w ith a yellow colored s■■•art’ civ. Te ling his ! body, aud ca rry ing in h i- h in d a lit t le j saucer in w h ich burned a w ick ligh ted I previously from the everlasting lig h t a j fro n t ..f the fam ily god.
Behind h im came his eldest son. i f over 1 live years o f age— if not, hi- nearest it - I la tive — carry ing upon a p la tte r made of sandal wood the w a k i/a -k i, u dagger- /ike
: weapon ni» ■ and i ha lf in« lies long, and
ol
piely cui on tli th is lancet-1«
rapped in veliow ■rap
are t i i n o .
••Yes, bu t p rac tica lly any parrot can be tra ined to ta lk it yoTcom uie iive when the b in l is young. There is a common bu t foo lish no tion tha t it is on ly the male b irds th a t ta lk . A - a m atter of fac t there is no more difference in th is respect than in the human sp e h -. Tin- lien pa rro t can do her share o f ta lk in g about as w e ll as a woman’s righ ts advocate.”
“ Do the d iffe ren t k in d - o f pa rro t- r qu ire d iffe ren t foo d : ’
“ C erta in ly , tha t is one o f the •- ere: . bet me de- ,-ribe to you here the k in d -o f pa rro t com m only met w ith in th is conn t rv . O f eour.-e you know they an im po rted and acclim atized, be ing s tr ic tly trop ica l in its nat hab ita t. The Ylexiean double ye llow - head parrots are among the best b ird s we ge t; they have be tter ta lk in g power, greater slinrpne-s in p ic k in g up words and tr icks and a more p lea-ing hum anlike, voice than the other varieties. They are also q u ick to become attached toth e ir owners, and to make strangers feel ! lro m lh ” trun,k , . .lik e strangers, w h ich i - one o f the ch ie f i descrip tion ,w .icn l.ara kan wa« co m m itta l
charms o f a pa rro t fo r tl.e average man ; ! " defun,'p oi m s u lt’ d honor> t ‘1" n lsu lt' o r woman. That's human nature, isn ’ t lu kr P:l' t \ i uit? I f a parrot w i l l take to e v e r y b o d y ',0 ! the ac t pe rfim ued. b y ̂ sendm the owner has no use fo r i t . Th is va
ille b ird U ft up his w h ite robe w it i i his r ig h t liand, r j ! w rapp ing the end o f the yellow sa>'.i
around his le ft w ris t, and de iiberately and very s low iv insert the dagger !ik< kn ife in to h i- stoinaeli above the r ig h t h ip bone. A t the moment he inserted the kn ife his ne x t-o f-k in would take the kahamia (o rd inary -w o rd :, and w ith a s w ift b low sever the head o f the suicide
In everv case o f i.iis
rie ty lias another good q u a lity : th a t of fearlessness. A Mexican double ye llow - head parrot w i l l convince any cat in about tw o minutes th a t d i-tance lends both enchantment and safety to the view . As l«> what these b irds can learn I w il l on ly say tha t they have been tau gh t to im ita te a ll the animals in the barnyard— th«1 rooster, the dog, the pigs, the peahens, the tu rkeys ; they can be made to repeat h a lf a dozen letters o f the a lphabet correctly in succession, spell words, and as to swearing— they w i l l p ic k up ‘cuss’ words as qu ick as any ten-year-old gam in in T a r F la t . ”
“ A re these b irds the ones w h ich die o ff so fast?”
“ Yes, because they are tlie most sens itive o f a ll parrots. They require specia l care the first w in te r, and should be kep t warm am i out o f the draugh t. Just here I w il l g ive you a po in ter. I f you put a monkey, an ant-eater, a pa rro t or any trop ica l anim al in a draught o f a ir— as, l'o r instance, by opening the w indow in a room where a fire is bu rn in g — you are go ing to lose your pet. I t w il l catch cold and die as surely as i f you had pu t i t in a re frige ra to r car.”
“ Then the im po rted parrots d ie of cold?”
“ N o t all o f them. Tr is not rea lly cohl enough in t?an Francisco to k i l l a parrot, even on a cold day, bu t draughts are fata l, in summer and w in te r a like. The real troub le people have in ra ising parrots is because they w ill not t ry to believe tha t the b irds w ill get a long much be tter at f irs t w ith o u t d r in k in g water, set a vessel o f w ater near a f r
in fo rm ed by the fam ily to
h im a sort o f a ffidav it o f the nex;- o f-k in o f thc deceased w ritte n noon ye llow paper wrapped in the leaves o f tin lotus flower, and i f tha t gentleman would no t be considered ;t craven, un fit 1 i r association w ith honorable men, he, too, w ou ld then com m it hara ka ri in u somewhat s im ila r manner.
H e L o o k e d R a t h e r B lu e .
Over on Desplaines street i< a well-to- do re ta il grocer who came here from Germany some years ago and lias grown up w ith the c ity . A long in the early 70s there was a popular dye house next door to his grocery store, and in the back yard were a num ber o f dve vats and a great tan k in w h ich the dyer jealously guarded a gcod supply o f so ft ra in water, in vrtiich he linse tl < u t the ga rments sent to h im to be cleansed. For many weeks the German grocer had had his eye on th is ra in water tank , and had though t how delicious w ould he a bath in i t - cool depths. One warm, m oonlig h t m idsummer n igh t the grocer looked from an upper w indow in to the dyer's back yard and the g lin t o f the moonbeams on the ra in water tem pted him sorely. A lo n g about m id n ig h t, w ithou t saying a w ord to any one, the German sneaked out o f h i- back door, soap anil towel in hand, cautiously scaled the fence and gained the dye rs yard. In the shadow o f the ra in water tank he disrobed, and then he vaulted in to the pe lluc id water. The «ensation wa« delicious.
The sly German splashed around iu the I f you water, la the ring h im se lf tho rough ly w ith
h lv i in - ! the soap, am i chuckled to th iu k o f theported parrot, however healthy, i t w il l j consternation o f his ne ighbor, tbe dyer, d r in k itse lf to death: th a t’s w hat I when he found his ra inw ater fu ll of mean.” soapsuds the fo llo w in g m orn ing . A fte i
“ Then you w ould give them no water j a w h ile he hopped out, rubbed h im se lf at a ll?” ! d ry w ith his towel, jumped in to bis
“ N o t exactly tha t. A l i t t le water may j clothes, and clim bed over in to ,iis own be given to a young b ird every day; sav ! yard. l ie went in to tlie hou-c, and. as one or tw o teaspoonfuls. B u t tlie proo f j he entered bis w ife s room, she screamed tha t w ater is bad fo r a green parrot, i f ■ and called fo r the police. He looked you le t the b ird feed itse lf, is shown bv i surprised aud asked what -he was ye llin gthe fact th a t a parrot- w h ich has been ge tting along fine ly fo r a whole week w ith o u t water, bu t w ith p len ty o f green food, w h ich contains a ll the water i t re quires, w il l get. dysentery or some other trouble d ire c tly i t is a llowed to sw ill a ll i t w ants.”
“ Parrots im prove ra p id ly in value accord ing to th e ir ta lk in g powers, ] suppose ?
about. She recognized his voice anil asked where on earth lie had been. He grinned and to ld her. Then she asked him to look in the glass. YVhen he «lid so he fe ll back in astonishment. He was da rk ly , deeply, b e au tifu lly b lue ; even to his b londe whiskers and heir. The adventurous German disrobed an«l tim dyer was summoned. He ho-vled when he saw the grocer, and explained
“ Yes, so much so tha t a good ta lke r is i th n t hp had P1“ b lue d -v<' il1 ‘ |‘e ra irV*.4,-./. 4 . . . . . . ; tVfttM* ffinl . ' n u i t n f r p r n r » n n I UiPinirMiU
b ird w ater tank tha t afternoon. Chemicals were used on the un fortunate grocer f r hours, b u t to th is day b lue spots can be fourn i a ll ot*er h im .— Chicago Herald.
The Mackerel Imiustry.The habits o f fi-h . says the San F ran
cis«.» Chronicle, are no t pe rfectly known to natura lists. F o r instance they have never been able to determ ine where the mackerel passes the w in te r. Some w rite rs have asserted tha t i t goe-, as soon as the co ld weather commences, to the coast o f Greenland, enters the bays, and p lun g ing its hea«l in fo the mud, remains in th a t position, w ith ta il in the a ir, t i l l rev iv ified by the spring sunshine. Then i t goes south seeking spawning grounds,
! fo llo w in g the coasts o f Europe and I Am erica, espe ia lly the la tte r, gu ided ! probably by the G u lf stream. A rr iv in g j on the coast o f Europe the schools j separate, swarm ing about the coasts o f
Great B rita in and Norway, en tering thc ! B a ltic o r seeking the bays o f the F ieue li j coa-t. In France i t is usually caught by j 1 ra ilin g hooks or d r if t in g nets. YVhen j fresh, i t is the favo rite fish a fte r the
sole, and certain o ther k in tls that are j less common. Being found everywhere j in the no rth o f France in abundance ami ; at a low price in tlie spring, and be ing j by uo means rare thenceforward t i l l the ! firs t o f the fo llo w in g January, i t is in less ' repute among the rich on th is account,; and even among those o f moderate means I stales by repetition . The fishermen o f
w orth lÿlOÜ where a fine r-look in th a t cannot ta lk is on ly w orth $ 1 0 ."
“ IIo w are they taugh t to ta lk? "“ Y'ou must, tame them first. F o r in
staure, by g iv in g them water .a t a regula r h o u r; instead o f a llo w in g them to he lp themselves you w il l accustom them to look fo r your presence and th a t is everyth ing . Then try p lac ing a cover over the cage, to coniine the b ird 's a tten tion , and say a 's h o r t w ord or sentence every «lay t i l l learned. Once the parrot gets a s ta rt at ta lk in g the troub le is to keep the g i f t under con tro l. The b ird has no know ledge o f goo il and evil ; i t w il l learn swear words ju s t as easily as the others. The be-t plan is to have a stock o f words and use on ly these in the b ird 's hearing, always p itch in g them in a particu la r key so as to fix the a tte n tio n .”
“ Apropos o f the «liseuses o f parrots; is there any remedy fo r them ?"
“ Yes, i f not too far advanced. Dysentery is very com m on; i t i - cured by c u tt in g down the water supply, w h ich G genera lly the cause. Remember, onec fo r a ll, tha t i t is on ly a tho rou gh ly tamed and acclimated green parrot w h ich can 1>e trusted w ith a water glass in its cage.Cohl is best dealt w ith by g iven the b ird a dose o f warm rock candy, strong aud sweet, o r even a l i t t le rum punch, but coffee is bad. Y'ery o ften a sick parrot may be cure«! of a bad cold and dysentery by p u ttin g a teaspoonful o f paregoric in to thc d r in k in g w ate r.”
“ Do parrots breed in ca p tiv ity? ”“ N ever; at least so fa r as tho-e kept in ! the N orm an and Breton coasts cross in to
cages a re c o n c e rn e d ."
“ YVhat: age d o th e y a t ta in , w h e n ta k e n
care o f by an e x p e r t , fo r in s ta n c e .'”
•A n y th in g fro m tw e n ty to f i f t y years .
I t n il d e p e n d s on th e fe e d in g . T h e
tro u b le is th a t ta m e p a rro ts a re to o o fte n
tre a te d as m em b e rs o f th e fa m ily and
g iv e n e v e r y th in g th e y screech fo r . D o n ’ t
fo r g e t th a t y o u n g g ra y - p a rro ts can be
tru s te d w i th w a te r , g re e n p a rro ts n e v e r .”
— San Francisco Chronicle.
the Irish sea in search o f th is precious fish. Salt mackerel is he ld in a certain estim ation by Americans. A t Dieppe and Fecamp, in France, the mackerel is prepared w ith o il in a manner tha t renders i t almost as delicate as the sardine. From its intestines the ancient Romans prepared a brine, o f bad odor, na tu ra lly , and o f a taste tha t moderns w ou ld find absolutely d isgusting, w hich, nevertheless, they held in h igh esteem.
f A C a te c h is m o f th e S ta te s .Question— YY'liicli i.s the best State fo r
fresh pork?A nsw er— New ham, sure.Q -— YVliich is th ' lus t for an early
summer hotel ?A .— May inn.Q .— In which -liou ld surgeons ilw ell?A .— Connect-a-eut.Q .— YVliich fu rn ish ' - the best writers?A .— IV ne il-van ia .Q .— In w hich should iaimdrymen pros
per?A .— W ashing doneQ .— In which do im pudent peoph-
.1 Well iA , - - < ’ in sa-s.Q. —W hich I- th«: b .- t fo r d« -r bu n t-
lotus flowerng placed upon its h ilt . I t generaliy
was an in irloom o f t i l l fam ily , a d considered the most valuable .urticlc in it - possession. 1 i- the in -tr iim e n t w ith w h ic li hara ka ri was always com m it Uni. The person to com m it th is act w ould then kneel upon the p b c f.in n w ith his face toward the north an i tic w aki/.isk i placed lc fore him . T im p ric -t would take the lotus flower from toe .lapane-i -w ont and cut the leaves in pieces, s trew ing tiie same over the k u iu li i ig man. A fte r blessing h im in i ds m a nn ir tin: lig h ts iu the corner saucers were blow n out by the priest, and the lig h t carried by the suicide extinguished by lii- sonor nearest re la tive, aud the tim e fo r t.o final act hud come.
A fte r recounting in a solemn voice the insu lt suffered by h im from h i- «■ i:■ :11y , in- invoked the sp irit o f his auc -O r ;« see in w le it manner lie upheld t ;:«• t .-;in ï 1 y honor entrusted to him at his b ir th , and ris ing upon Ids le ft knee he w ould in k "
. P ; hohl o f the wakizaski w ith his le ft hand,
u k l
fa il in
tin
A .— I l l noise.Q .— ln which F one like ly to l"se his
fan n ing im plem ent- :A .— f'. l a hoe.(.).— In w h ich can oueac«piire an estate
j by marriage? j A . Mary land.
Q . — W hat w ould bo tho most useful in
! tlie event of anotle r de lug •? j A .— New [ V ark, of «• > ir - \
t ) .— ln w hich is die une le tte r o f the alphabet/ ta lle r than the others:
I A — O higher.j (J.— In which arc bodies o f land ur- j rounded by water ; i ’.< a a r i !«•?
A .- Rhode Island.Q .— W hich is call«“ ! to v«-ai m ind by
j behold ing tw o .bill«?A .— T r» l see.<).— W hich would •« woman rather
j have i f she can’t ge t a new sealskin sacouo?
A .— New .1 nsey.Q .— YVliich ilocs t in ’ farmer's w ife
m ention when she asks you to partake of apple sauce?
A .— Take sas- .— Pittdmrg Chronicle.
T h e C h o le r a a t B a g d a l .
F o r several months past a v io len t cholera epidemic has raged in and around Bagdad; Arabia. H err Sonn kh , head master o f the school o f the Israelite A l liauce in that c ity , describes the fr ig h t fu l state o f th ings there in a report to the A lliance thus : “ As soon as i t became known th a t the te rrib le disease was the cholera everybody tr ie d to escape from the in fec tion :«' q u ick ly as possible. Tin- panic was imU.-iribal.de. W ith in tw o [lays tw o -th irds o f tlie Hebrews had le ft the c ity , fleeing at random and se ttling in the firs t v illage th i'y could find . The Christians d id the same, aud theM ahom medans, despite th e ir w e ll-know n fa ta lism, could no t escape the general panic, sought safety iu flig h t. The c ity presents a disconsolate a-pt e t: the streets are em pty, one dares not venture o u t; the only th in g to be seen is the entiles- row of hearses, w hich the paid drivers aeeom- panv to the cemetery. One sees ne ither tears no r o ther signs o f g r ie f. Cruel, in exorable death has quenched the source nf tears; the people have lost almost a ll fee ling. Our fe llow -believers have su ffered proportionate ly more than the rest o f the population. Death has p u rsued them everywhere, anti I:as raged ter-
I r ib ly among them. There is not a fam ily tha t lias not to lament the death o f one o f its members. The rich , as well as the poor, have been te rrib ly tried , and inanv o f the dead had to lie. fo r «lays uti- bu ried in tbe fields btcause there wa- nobody to bury them. A t thG moment •>0,000 Hebrews are «.im ping out in a mere desert some hours’ walk from the c ity , scori fied by a trop ica l sun, >n want o f the means o f life , haras- •«l by robbers, boys and g ir l- stolen from tli '-u )—never, in short, has an already very unhappy population suffered Mich misery before. I l l the c ity the sick «lie fo r want o f t are, and numerou- fam ilie - have gone fo r whole days w ithou t food. T ii • poor, who no longer knew to whom t " tu rn , have died lite ra lly <>f hunger T l i i - heart-ren iling report has been com pletely confirmed in answer to inquiries in the most competent quarter, w ith the a ild i tio n tha t the epidemic, which had abated a l i t t le toward the end <>! O ctober, was rag ing agabi w ith i newed fury. — London Lancet.
American Hi«]*'» G o in g A b r o a d .
The low point to w hich the pri« e of hides lias been forced through the tic piession w hich im» oxi-ted o f lute seems to have tempt«*«! seller- to try t«i find u new market fo r th e ir inc iv ln iud is". Dur in g tin- past few v.tek- about ho ,000 to 100,000 d ry Western bide- have been shipped to Europe, in order to try tha t m arket, flow th is new departure w ill turn out is at present en tire ly p rob lem atical, bu t i f European tanners can u«c our hides to advantage it w ill open up a new field un«l tend to give a tone o f .steiulineas to th is m arket tha t has not been fe lt for a long tim e. The recent shipm ent o f
A frican hides to Europe from th i- m arket, w h ile u new feature in itse lf, was not o f that importance to the trade here tha t th is lat<r shipment w ill be i f i t proves successful in opening up a new m arket. A frican hide» .are, w e ll known in Europe, where they have u general market price, and the fa«. tha t shipments were made from thi.- .si«le -im p ly showed that our m arket wa» low er than the ru ling priées there. The»« Western hides -h ipped are at pre-i-nt unknown in Europe. and tie- partie.- m aking the venture are do ing it on -pe illa tion alone, and are ta k in g th e ir chancis o f its com ing to a juce.’ssful issue. —Boston Adc,erti*e. .
S o m e M o r e B u r ie d T r e a s u r e .
A buried trea-ure is being sought in N orthwest Bengal. India. A poor Brahmin at M onghyr po-se-setl an amulet w hich ha«l been in bis fam ily fo r genera tions, and, as he was almost starving, lie took it to a go ldsm ith fo r rale. T lie go ld sm ith broke it up to D .-t th e metai, and found in the ho llow centre a scrap of paper covered w ith nu iiu te w rit in g . This /cio«« deciphered bv a learuetl pundit, the Brahm in learned th a t « lose by the shrine o f P ir Shah Nepal is a w ell da ting hack to Mahomeflau times, an il a certain :li-tanre from the w ell are h idden four- een lakhs o f rupee-. The Brahmin has
abtained Government sanction to excavate the ground, a rich ne ighbor fu rn ish ing the funds on cond ition o f receiv ing a share o f the treasure.— Philadelphia Times.
o