A Silver Lining in Every Cloud? Or Chasing Away the Clouds? Teaching Optimism Marilyn F. Rasmussen,...
-
Upload
britney-allnutt -
Category
Documents
-
view
213 -
download
0
Transcript of A Silver Lining in Every Cloud? Or Chasing Away the Clouds? Teaching Optimism Marilyn F. Rasmussen,...
A Silver Lining in Every Cloud? Or Chasing Away the Clouds?
Teaching Optimism
Marilyn F. Rasmussen, Ph.D.Rose Stee, M.Ed.Christine Kayl, R.D.South Dakota State University
Children, Youth & Families At-Risk Conference Chicago, 2007
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
–Winston Churchill
Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one’s own sunshine.
–Ralph Waldo Emerson
Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll, the optimist sees the doughnut and the pessimist sees the hole.
-Oscar Wilde, Playwright, author
In the long run, the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.
-Daniel L. Reardon, Writer, poet
The average pencil is 7 inches long with just a ½ inch eraser – in case you thought optimism was dead.
-Robert Brault, American poet
Teaching is the greatest act of optimism. -Colleen Wilcox, poet
Glass half-full? Glass half-empty? Are you an optimist or a pessimist? You win at the game of Jeopardy with
your roommate. As you are strolling through the park, you
find a $5.00 bill. No one else is around. Someone compliments the pair of shoes
you are wearing.
Are you an Optimist or a Pessimist?
Someone shakes their fist at you while you are in traffic on a busy street.
You have planned a family potluck picnic at the park but it is rainy and looks like it will rain all day.
You just finished a lengthy project for your supervisor and her response to you is a hasty, “Good work, thanks.”
How You Think About ProblemsMe vs. Not Me
Do you blame yourself when something goes wrong or there is a problem?
Excessively?*Karen Reivich, Penn Resiliency ProjectUniversity of Pennsylvania
Do you look outside yourself for an explanation?
It is important to warn that this is not the same as taking responsibility when it is deserved.
How You Think About ProblemsAlways vs. Not Always
Do you believe that the problem will persist forever and you can’t do anything to change it?
Do you think that the causes are passing and that you have some control over the circumstances?
How You Think About Problems Everything vs. Not Everything
The Everything person thinks the problem will spill into every domain of his/her life and will be ongoing.
The Not Everything person is good at defining the problem as specific to this situation.
Optimism vs. Pessimism
Optimistic Children Source of resiliency
among both healthy and ill children
Less at risk for depression
Higher self worth Higher sense of
competence
Pessimistic Children Lower self-esteem Greater risk of
depression and suicide
Peer problems
Sydney Ey, et al (2005) Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry
Can Optimism be Taught?
Optimists:Recognize that they can experience a
wide range of emotionsUnderstand that moods affect attitudes but
mood does not necessarily reflect realityOptimists can be in control of their
expression of emotions, in charge of their own emotions.
Changing your Mind-Set from Pessimistic to Optimistic
Capture what you say. Listen to what you are saying to yourself. Me? Always? Everything?
Challenge your inner voice. When thoughts are negative, ask yourself, is there another way to think about this?
Changing your Mind-Set from Pessimistic to Optimistic
Generate alternatives. What are the “not me, not always, or not everything” alternatives?
Put it in perspective. What are the consequences? What’s the worst that could happen? What’s the best outcome that is possible? Extremes are usually ridiculous. This forces us to look for “the most likely.”
First Step in Teaching Optimism
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF Quality time for yourself Time with friends you can talk
to, including same gender friends
Exercise and good nutrition Spend time with nature Meditation, self-reflection, quiet
time
Encouragement and Praise
Rose SteeYouth Development/4-H Educator
Encouragement vs. PraiseWhat’s the difference?
Praise may create undue pressures
Encouragement builds self-confidence
Encouragement Praise
Self-Evaluation Tell me about it How can you learn from
this experience? How do you feel about it?
Behavior-focus What skills are you
learning from this game? Who can tell me the rule?
Praise I like what you are doing Good job; good work You look good You were the best
Achieving Skills You are such a good girl You got first place! You are better than the
rest
Encouragement Praise
Empathy I see you are angry I know you were hurt
by the booing but you handled it well
I see that playing soccer makes you smile
Conformity You did it right You followed the rules You’re a good sport I know just how you
feel
Encouragement Praise
Self-disclosing “I” message I felt proud when you led
your teammates over to shake hands with the other team
I appreciate your working together as a team
I feel happy when you sing
I feel encouraged when you and your brother work together
Judgmental “I” message I’m proud of you You never make a
mistake I know you have worked
hard I like your aggressive
behavior on the playing field
I understand you are upset about your team’s loss
Encouragement Activity
Purpose: Build Self-Esteem
Activity:Divide into pairs or groups Using the worksheet, look over the
phrases listed under “Praise” As a group come up with words or phrases
to help build a youth’s self-esteem by encouragement rather than praise
Encouragement Activity – Reflection Which encouragement statements were most
difficult to develop? Self-evaluation Addressing behavior Empathy Self-disclosing “I” messages
Which were the easiest to develop?How have you previously used encouragement in
working with youth?What challenges have you encountered as you
tried to use encouraging remarks?What did you learn about yourself when doing this
activity?
Monitor Your Use of Praise to Children
Praise to Avoid General, non-specific leads to vulnerability and sense of
self-worth dependent on that praise Praise for a fixed-trait, such as intelligence or musical
talent, may lead to worry about failure and therefore child avoids taking risks.
Appropriate Praise Achievement – what child does. Be specific “good use of
color in that picture” not “good job” Process – how the child does it. Examples: for effort, for
inventiveness, or for keeping at it. Person – who the child is. Valued for who they are. “I like
having you in my group. Your smile is contagious.”
Optimism in 4-H
Application of a Characteristic
Christine Kayl
The Circle of Meeting Youth Needs
• Youth characteristics and behaviors impact whether they will get needs met in new situations.
• Adult responses to needs impact development of characteristics and behaviors in youth.
Slide developed by Cathann Kress- Director Youth Development. National 4-H Headquarters.
Response - Increases Characteristic or Behavior
Behavior or Characteristic Impacts Type of
Response
Need Met or Unmet
Optimism and Needs
4-H aspires to help youth develop and “grow” their internal and external assets
The internal characteristic of optimism (or lack of optimism) can be positively influenced by teaching youth self-examination skills and by building their positive self-worth
An optimistic outlook or attitude generally elicits a positive response from other youth and adults
Need
Rational Response
Optimism
Fostering Optimism in Youth The 4-H Model
Learning by doingCommunity spirit and social capitalYouth developmentFour Essential Elements of 4-H
Independence Belonging Generosity Mastery
Independence
ResponsibilitySelf determinationSelf disciplineBetter understanding of oneselfIndependent thinkers“I pledge my head to clearer thinking…”
Independence and Optimism
Responsibility for actions and reactionsAbility to accept strengths and deficits
Make realistic goals and plans Competency to challenge oneself
Confidence to take roads less traveledSelf esteem
Belonging
Positive relationship with a caring adultAn inclusive environmentA safe environment
Physically and emotionally
“I pledge my heart to greater loyalty…”
Belonging and Optimism
“Safe and inclusive environment”- a place to practice optimism Individual Group
Social interaction skills for a lifetime College Workplace Marriage Community
Generosity
Value and practice service to othersDemonstrates meaning and purposeBig picture“I pledge my hands to larger service…”
Generosity and Optimism
Increased awareness of self and OTHERS Everyone may need a helping hand at one point One’s reactions/actions may affect others
People and events are inherently good Hope Trust
Mastery
Engagement in learning Able to see oneself as an active participant in
the future Safe environment to make mistakes and
receive feedbackOpportunity to feel capable
Success at solving problems Meeting Challenges
“I pledge my health to better living…”
Mastery and Optimism
Take a chance and tryAccept success and failure
Take another chance and try
PracticePlan for the best outcomeMake mastery and confidence a lifelong
habit
4-H & Optimism – Hand in Hand!
Essential elements Independence Belonging Generosity Mastery
An optimistic attitude will assist youth in having their needs met
Application and practice of optimism as a lifetime skill
The ABC Model (Martin Seligman) Teaching Children the ABC’s of an Optimistic Approach to Life
Adversity – any negative eventBeliefsConsequences – how you feel and behave
following the adversity
Beliefs can be the cause of a particular consequence *Albert Ellis, Reason and Emotion in Psychotherapy.
Basic Skills of Optimism
1. Thought catching – recognize the thoughts that cross your mind at the time you feel the worst.
2. Evaluate these thoughts. Acknowledge the things that you say to yourself are not necessarily accurate.
3. Generate more accurate explanations when bad things happen.
4. Decatastrophize! Do you only think of the worst case scenario?
The ABC Model – Martin Seligman
Key Point: how a child feels doesn’t come out of the blue and isn’t determined by things that happen to him. It is what he says to himself when problems arise that makes him feel the way he does. When he feels mad, sad or afraid, there was a thought that triggered that feeling. If he uncovers the thought, he can change how he feels.
The ABC ModelAdversity – Belief – Consequence
You get into a fight with your best friend.Sad – Now I don’t have any friendsMad – My friend was just being mean.Okay – We’ll make up and be friends
again soon
The ABC Model
You get a low mark on your spelling test.Scared – I’m going to get in big trouble at
home.Guilty – I’ve been goofing off too much
instead of studyingOkay – I can work hard and do better on
the next test.
The ABC Model
Your older brother is allowed to stay up late to play video games with his friends and you aren’t.
Mad – I’m never allowed to do anything fun.
Sad – They love him more than me. Okay – They took me to the movie last
Saturday and not him.
Thoughts – not adversity – cause feelings
Your work is always messy.
Why can’t you be more organized?
Angry thoughts:
Okay thoughts:
Thoughts – not adversity – cause feelings
No, thank you
Would you like to go to the skate park?
Sad thoughts:
Okay thoughts:
Thoughts – not adversity – cause feelings
Don’t waste your time.
Try another activity.
Did I make the team coach?
Angry thoughts:
Okay thoughts:
Thoughts – not adversity – cause feelings
Near her, Liz sees 2 girls whispering to
each other and looking in her direction.
Sad thoughts:
Okay thoughts:
Explanatory Style
Personal - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Impersonal Me vs. Not Me
Permanent - - - - - - - - - - - - - - TemporaryAlways vs. Not Always
Pervasive - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - SpecificEverything vs. Not Everything
Explanatory Style
PessimisticBelieve that I am the
sole cause of the problem (Personal)
Situation or problem is unchangeable (Permanent)
Problem will undermine every area of my life (Pervasive)
OptimisticOther causes, people or
explanations for the situation may exist (Impersonal)
Circumstances vary from situation to situation (Temporary)
Situation is specific to this problem and not every part of my life (Specific)
Learned Optimism is about AccuracyWarning – do not simplify the problem
Help child judge whether or not he is responsible. Being optimistic is not blaming everyone else and shirking responsibility. Being an optimist is not saying: “It’s not my fault.”
Empty optimism: “Everything is just wonderful!” Pollyanna.
The pessimist complains about the wind, the optimist expects it to change, the realist adjusts the sails. -William Arthur Ward, Author
Children at risk for depression blame themselves whenever
things go wrong.
Although most problems result from a complex set of factors, these children often
think things are black or white. They feel worthless and guilty.
Consult parents and health care professionals if you suspect depression.
Signs of Depression in Young Children
Takes little pleasure from play & activities
Sadness Low energy Low self-esteem Hopelessness Guilt Difficulty
concentrating
Stomachaches or headaches
Weight/appetite changes
Excessive crying Restless Desire to be alone Difficulty making
friends or getting along
Depression Triggers
Insecure attachment Divorce or family conflict Death or illness in the
family Too little time with
primary caregiver Physical abuse, including
excessive punishment Lack of encouragement Being required to sit still
long periods of time
Persistent criticism Teasing or bullying Lack of consistent/ clear
boundaries Lack of contact with
nature Too much TV or violent
media Not having needs met:
safety, emotional security, attention or importance
References:
Ellis, A. (1996 rev.). Reason and emotion in psychotherapy. NY: Carol Publishing.
Ey, S., Hadley, W., Allen, D.N., Palmer, S., Klosy, J., Deptula, D., Thomas, J., & Cohen, R. (2005). A new measure of children’s optimism and pessimism: The youth life orientation test. Journal of Child Psychology & Psychiatry. 45(5).
Kress, C. Essential Elements of 4-H Youth Development Murray, B. & Fortinberry, A. (2006). Raising an optimistic
child. New York: McGraw-Hill. Seligman, M.E.P. (2006). Learned optimism: How to change
your mind and your life. New York: Pocket Books. Seligman, M.E.P. (1995). The optimistic child. New York:
Harper Perennial.
On-Line Optimism Quizzes
http://www.myprimetime.com/health/optimism/optimism_quiz.jsp
http://www.bradfordcollege.ac.uk/college/research/allpd/Optimism.htm
http://stress.about.com/library/optimismquiz/bl_15optimism_quiz.htm
Questions or Comments?
Thank you
Promote a Sense of Mastery and Competence
1. Take a chance to try. Give a child a rich environment full of choices and let child know that you support her effort to try something new.
2. Accept both success and failure. Do what you can to provide appropriate challenges. But when outcome falls short - acknowledge the effort. “I know its frustrating but you tried and you get a little better each time you try.”
Promote a Sense of Mastery and Competence
3. Practice. Children need to experience success to build mastery. Identify and reinforce child’s areas of competence. Child is more likely to try and to gain competence in areas that the child is curious and enthusiastic about.
Promote a Sense of Mastery and Competence
4. Plan for the best outcome. Teach a child how to plan. Have child think about the possible outcomes and to plan for the best result and to think about a future reward for actions today. “If we save some of this paint for next week, we could paint pumpkins too.” Show how to opt for future rewards.
Promote a Sense of Mastery and Competence
5. Yes! Make optimism and confidence in a positive outcome a lifelong habit. YES! I CAN DO THAT! Recognition of one’s own competence – realistic appraisal of what she can and cannot do.