A Piratical Legacy Chapter 24 - The Roman Scheme

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Chapter 24 The Roman Scheme Greetings, readers, and welcome back to another installment of A Piratical Legacy! I suggest you read my previous updates if you've never read this story before - if you don't, I think much of what follows will confuse you. Also, if you're having trouble figuring out who is who, I recommend visiting http://purplebunny.tribalpages.com for the Buccaneer family tree. Everyone who has been born into the family to this point is listed, along with their spouse (if any). Apparently tribalpages doesn't support same-sex marriage, though, so occasionally a wife or husband is listed as the opposite. Sorry about that but if you've read the legacy you'll be able to pick out who's who (probably).

Transcript of A Piratical Legacy Chapter 24 - The Roman Scheme

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Chapter 24 – The Roman Scheme

Greetings, readers, and welcome back to another installment of A Piratical Legacy! I suggest you read my previous updates if you've never read this story before - if you don't, I think much of what follows will confuse you. Also, if you're having trouble figuring out who is who, I recommend visiting http://purplebunny.tribalpages.com for the Buccaneer family tree. Everyone who has been born into the family to this point is listed, along with their spouse (if any). Apparently tribalpages doesn't support same-sex marriage, though, so occasionally a wife or husband is listed as the opposite. Sorry about that but if you've read the legacy you'll be able to pick out who's who (probably).

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When we last left the Buccaneer family, Grace Buccaneer had succeeded at getting three businesses to level ten. Here I present to you the fourth: Bayside Beach. Engaged couples can get married on the beach, rent the spacious hall for their reception, and purchase everything they might need for their nuptials in the attached boutique. This was the beachside park where Grace and Lee had gotten married so many years previously, and when it went on the market Grace had to snap it up.

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While the store was a popular one, business was slow at first. Nadine Fitzhugh wasn't the most competent of people to work the cash register, initially at least, and the lines occasionally got pretty long. Nor were the denizens of Pirate Island the most patient of customers. Still, the business' popularity gradually crept upwards.

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"Uncle Jack, you really want to buy a wedding arch, don't you," Grace said winningly, flashing a dazzling smile at her several-times-great uncle. "My esteemed niece, I crossed the threshold of the consecrated state of matrimonial ecstasy some centuries previously," Jack said. "And yet, your verbal communication is extraordinarily compelling to me. I feel I must acquire said bridal portico without further ado." "If you'll just step this way, then," Grace said, leading Jack towards the cash register. "You won't regret it, Uncle Jack. This arch is the epitome of wedding arches." "Indeed," Jack said, reaching for his wallet. "Though I shall have to acquire additional grand-offspring-in-law to attain any measurable use from this exceptionally frivolous product."

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Occasionally, the wedding parties renting the facility would want some extra decorations, ones that really enhanced the whole beachfront wedding experience. Grace was happy to provide said decorations - for a fee, of course.

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And if the clients didn't pay up immediately? Well, that was no skin off Grace's back. She would quite happily destroy decorations rather than let a non-paying customer have the use of them. Now, whether this was due to her cheapskate nature or just because she liked a good smash was up for debate. With pirates it could go either way.

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In any case, it wasn't long before Grace's wedding business was awarded the 'best of the best' award from the wedding industry itself. The award was sure to bring in additional customers quickly, and Grace felt certain that it wouldn't be long until her boutique/hall/wedding service would be recognized as the best and most profitable on the island.

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Therefore, she really didn't feel guilty about leaving the business in the capable care of her employees occasionally and spending time with her family. The family that plays video games together is a happy family indeed. "But I wish that you guys would just play Used Car Salesman with me sometime," Zing complained as he passed off his controller to Shih. "I bet if you tried it you'd like it." "I'd rather be abducted by aliens," Shih declared. "That'd be way more fun than selling someone a rotten old dirty smelly stinky used

car!" "Now, kids... there's plenty of cars and abductions for everyone," Roche, ever the peacemaker, said soothingly. "So no more arguing, okay?" "Fine," the children chorused in aggrieved unison. "That's enough gaming for today anyway," Grace said. "Come on, all three of you - time to brush your hair and change into clean clothes. The headmaster will be over tonight."

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"Ah, Mr. Walter," Lee said, shaking the headmaster's hand firmly, "so nice of you to join us tonight." "Merely a formality, merely a formality," Vince Walter said with a smile. "The Buccaneer family is, of course, always admitted to our illustrious ranks. Why, it would be breaking tradition to deny entrance to your presumably wonderful children, Mr. Buccaneer." "That's good to hear," Lee said with a smile. "Still, I don't believe you've been here since my father-in-law redecorated... would you like a tour while Andrew finishes preparing dinner?" "That would be great."

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"I don't see why we gotta wear these stupid uniforms," Shih grumbled the next morning as she and her brother headed to the waiting school bus. "We look like dorks!" "It means that we're better and more important than the other students," Zing said loftily. "And besides, we get to go to private school for free because of how important our family is. That's a pretty big honor, Shih. You should be proud." "Well, I hope our new teacher lets us do more fun stuff," Shih said. "Like I wanna dissect a frog, and freeze a flower in liquid nitrogen,

and electroplate silver onto a copper penny!" "Uh, I think the Professor's specialty is acting and Shakespeare and stuff," Zing said. "Well, as long as I get to do lighting and tech," Shih said. "Not boring stuff like acting." "Hurry up you two or the bus will leave without you!" Grace yelled from the kitchen, and the kids took off at a run.

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"So?" Gertie asked once the kids were home again that evening. "How was your first day of private school?" "It was awesome!" Shih giggled, not taking her eyes off of the TV screen. "Okay, now left, Zing! Left! Right! Left! Yeah!" "What was so awesome about it?" Alan's friend, who the kids referred to as Mr. Flavius, asked. "Well, Professor Butters let us change out of the dorky uniforms as soon as we got there, for one thing," Shih said enthusiastically. "And she taught us about color palettes and painting, and I learned a C

scale, and I'm supposed to capture a butterfly and keep it alive til tomorrow and bring it to class to study!" "How come you're still wearing your uniform if you got to change out of it?" Mr. Flavius asked, suppressing a grin. "'Cause we're not supposed to tell... any... one... oops." "It's okay, I won't let on," Mr. Flavius grinned. "So do you like your new teacher?" "Yeah!"

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Even though Shih and Zing might display unmistakeable signs of sibling rivalry from time to time, the truth was that they were incredibly close to each other and considered each other their best friend above all others.

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The last time I chronicled the story of the Buccaneer family, some questions were raised. Two mysterious figures in Roman attire began to concoct a nefarious scheme... now it is time to learn a few answers... and perhaps raise a few more questions. The man in Roman red is Sejanus Toyonaga, heir to the Toyonaga lineage of the extended Buccaneer family. He is a nice, kind, good, and friendly family man who wants nothing more than to graduate three children from college with the help of his wife Ellen. Taking his first uncertain steps from Sejanus' reassuringly strong arms is Ellen and Sejanus' firstborn child, a boy they named Justinian.

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Before long, Justinian was ready to celebrate a birthday and Sejanus and Ellen were awaiting the birth of their second child. In attendance at the party were Sejanus' parents (Scipio and Tara Toyonaga), Ellen's parents (Aspen and Denise Avidreader*), and Sejanus' aunt and uncle, Septimus and Octavia. ==== * simself of avidreader2466

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Justinian shoveled down his cake and then immediately began chatting up his maternal grandparents. Denise, at least, was more inclined to spend time playing video games than talking to her grandson, but Aspen was quite happy to bond with the boy. "Do you think you'll end up dressing Roman or Piratical or Puritanical?" he asked the boy enthusiastically. "Daddy says I can decide for myself," Justinian responded. "But I think I wanna be a Roman like my dad." "That's pretty cool even if you do have to wear a dress most of the time," Aspen nodded. "But Grandpa, how come you and Grandma aren't old like my other grandparents?" "You can thank your Grandma Denise for that," Aspen said. "Simself powers and all."

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"Yuck!" Justinian declared as Aspen and Denise got off of the couch and proceeded to stalk each other. "You guys are gross! Just like my mom and dad!"

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"It is good to see that you continue the family's Roman tradition," Octavia Toyonaga said to her brothers and her nephew as they ate their cake in the dining room. "Traditional names... traditional dress... nephew Sejanus, you do our family line proud. In fact, you do the entire Buccaneer lineage proud." "Thanks... I guess," Sejanus shrugged. "But it's not really anything special... I mean, we don't go out of our way to do it. We just all seem to like a healthy breeze about our privates. The skirt and toga really is liberating."

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"If you say so," Septimus chuckled. "Personally, I think we owe it to our ancestors to be all that we can be, you know? Embracing our heritage is only part of that. Did you know that in Rome our family rules the entire empire?" "I was aware of that, yes," Sejanus said. "But what does that have to do with us on Pirate Island? We're thousands of miles and years from Ancient Rome." "But are we?" Septimus asked softly. Sejanus didn't hear him and thus, didn't respond.

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Sejanus gave little heed to his strangely obsessed uncle's words because he and Ellen were more than preoccupied with their growing family. Scipio passed on, but the family was soon joined by another baby boy, Crassus. Worry about anything was the farthest thing from the family's mind.

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Sejanus was a man who had been thoroughly blessed with uncles, and so we now visit his Uncle Benjamin. Benjamin Toyonaga had married into the tiger-skinned branch of the Buccaneer family and could often be found singing the sea chantey with his son, Rajah, and his grandchildren, Shere Khan and Angora. "C'mon, Khan," Angora said eagerly to her cousin, "Let's go see if Zing wants to play Used Car Salesman!" "Do Not Want!" Shere Khan protested. "Nah, me neither," Angora said. She grinned devilishly for a moment, pulled a pillow out of her inventory, and attempted to whack Khan over the head. Khan ducked at the last possible minute and danced out of the way of the pillow while he drew his own. "FAIL." he giggled.

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"Did you kids remember to pick up all the feathers after you finished playing?" Angora's father, Pierce, asked the kids as they sat down to an evening meal of pancakes. "Yes, Uncle Pierce," Shere Khan said glumly. "Why we had to clean da mess?" "Because we don't want feathers getting into the swimming pool," Rani, Pierce's wife, chuckled. Shere Khan nodded and shoveled his pancakes into his mouth. "Nom nom nom."

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"Hey mom, guess what?" Angora cried the next afternoon when she got home from school. "I got all As and so did Shere Khan!" "That's great!" Rani said enthusiastically. "Now you can go to Professor Butters' private school with your cousins!" "Oh good," Angora said. "School's been pretty boring without them."

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"My mom said we get to go to school with Zing and Toshi and the others," Angora said later while sh and her cousin were upping their fun bars. "Isn't that great?" "Thanks be to Ceiling Cat!" Shere Khan cheered. "I heard the professor is pretty cool, Angie. This is going to be so much fun! Well, as much fun as school can be." "Yeah, no kidding," Angora said. She dropped her hands. "Well, my fun bar is maxed out, Khan. I'm gonna do my homework now. You coming?"

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A little ways down the road, another little girl was dreaming, but there were no sugarplums dancing in her head. No, what Toshiko Buccaneer usually dreamed about would have her on permanent watch by the Department of Homeland Security if they knew about her, though whether as a suspect or a possible recruit is uncertain.

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"Boom!" she cried, propelling her toy ICBM around the room. "Take that, you dirty terrorists! And that! And that!" She set the rocket down for a moment and pulled a pennywhistle out of her pocket, playing a few notes. "Okay, guys, that was a great drill. Next attack, key of C. Take the note from me."

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"Hey Zing, what did you think of our homework? Did you finish already?" Whatever Toshiko Buccaneer heard from her cousin on the other end of the phone, it evidently didn't satisfy her. "I can't believe you think that, Zing," Toshi said incredulously. "It's obvious that the answer is ICBM. In a B-sharp chord. No, I don't think that the answer is 'Alaska'. I still say it's ICBM."

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The conversation continued for several minutes and moved on to lighter topics. "Of course I'll check with my mom. Maybe she can set us straight." Toshi hung up the phone and went in search of one of her moms.

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Meanwhile, upstairs Bart Buccaneer was pounding the ivories - not because he had any special musical talent, but because he loved to hear the sound reverberating through the house.

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"You're awfully hot when you play like that," his wife De purred as she listened to him. Even after three kids and two grandkids, they still acted like newlyweds.

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Bart finished flirting with his wife and headed outside to do his gardening. Toshi, meanwhile, had found her mother Kelly outside and posed the homework question that had her and Zing so stumped. "Mom, what was a major cause of tension between Russia and the United States in the twentieth century?" Toshi asked as she danced on her mother's toes. "What do you think it is?" Kelly asked.

"I said it was ICBMs, but Zing said it was Alaska," Toshi grumbled. "An' I'm sure I'm right, but he says that he is too!" "You're both right," Kelly said, laughing a bit at the look of disgust that then crossed Toshiko's face. "Sometimes there's more than one right answer, Toshi." "Mine's better," Toshi said sullenly.

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"My kid's the smartest kid on Pirate Island," Kelly said to herself as she "danced" in the living room later that evening.

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"How did you and Zing do on your homework assignment?" Kelly asked the next afternoon when the entire family was seated for a late lunch. "We both got full marks," Toshi said happily. "But I still think my answer was better."

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"What was your homework about?" Bart asked. He was curious about such things as he was heavily involved in the education system in his position of Education Minister. "The Cold War," Toshi responded, taking a bite of her grilled cheese sandwich. "Zing and I had completely different answers and we both got the question right!" "Good for you," Bart chuckled. "Do you like your teacher, Toshi?" "Yeah, she's pretty cool," Toshi said after a moment's consideration. "She's teaching me more music, but she won't let me build rockets in the classroom."

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However, Toshi built enough rockets at home to more than make up for that lack in her education.

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Little Liv Pseudo was the only one of her cousins who wasn't quite big enough to go to school yet. However, she kept her days filled with the giant rabbit head and her red potty, so she didn't feel the lack.

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She also spent some time with her Uncle Nick and Uncle Green's dog, Rags, and cat, Kilo. The two of them were always happy to have toddler snuggles.

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Liv's big brother, Hugo, was big enough to go to school with his cousins, but he didn't necessarily like it very much. While he wasn't nearly as pleasure-minded as his mother, Orikes*, he would definitely rather jump on the bed than do his homework or go to class. === * simself of orikes360

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"You said Alaska? And Toshi said missiles? But I thought the answer was Cuba!" Hugo yelped into the phone. It was a good thing Professor Butters encouraged cooperative efforts in her classroom because her students certainly engaged in it.

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"Mommmmyyyyyy... bunny is broken!" Liv protested. "Wanna make it bubbles, but no bubbles, just noises like aminals. Dis toy is boring!" "You can play with bubbles when you're older," Orikes said fondly. "Right now, you build up that charisma skill in case you want to be a professional party guest, okay?" "Bubbles!" "Later, darling."

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"Grandpa, do you know what caused all the problems between Russia and the USA during the twentieth century?" Hugo asked Roche. "Oh, I didn't pay attention in class," Roche chuckled. "Barely passed and made my way through college. Don't look to me as an example of scholarly pride, Hugo m'lad." "I do pretty good," Hugo said solemnly as he held out his hands for Red Hands. "Did my dad do good at school?" "Yes, all of my children were great students," Roche said proudly. "As are my grandkids! Didn't take after me in that regard at all."

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Speaking of teachers, the Professor* herself, while fully immersed in her teaching duties, did have other responsibilities as well. She was a wife, a mother, and a pet owner, as this picture clearly shows. Since her husband, Flavius Marius, was often exhausted after a long day's work in the Pirate Island military, the Professor often found herself making dinner in the evening. It was a fair trade-off, though - Flavius fed the cats in the morning and got their daughter Lucretia out of bed and dressed as well. As for the cats... well, there's a story behind their acquisition which you'll have to read in one of my previous volumes. Suffice to say, Circe and Loki aren't nearly as hungry as their careful study of dinner-in-progress would make them appear to be. === * simself of Loolooloo16Play, aka ProfessorButters

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"How was teaching?" Flavius asked as he waltzed into the kitchen. "Broaden any minds? Meet Anyone New?" "Just the same kids I've been teaching for the past several months," the Professor said. "They're good kids, though." "And Lucretia's the best of them!" Flavius said. "I'd feel a lot better if she didn't look so much like Cassius," the Professor said sternly. "She's a Squeaky Clean, Roman girl with good morals," Flavius said. "Like all the Romans here on Pirate Island." "Flavius, sometimes you're too optimistic for your own good," Professor Butters-Marius said fondly. "Now go change Lucretia's diaper, and then we can spin her to child."

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"I wish you kitties were nicer," Lucretia said that evening when she'd changed into an outfit befitting a Roman princess. "I think you're the meanest kitties I've ever met. Ow! Loki, no biting!"

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Ching Shih stopped by to visit for a few minutes before it got dark out. "How are the cats?" she asked sympathetically while Lucretia rubbed her scratched hand. "They're evil," Lucretia complained. "And they won't even have kittens!" "That stinks," Shih commiserated. She gave her friend a spontaneous hug. "But if they do ever have kittens, can I have one?"

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Across town, another group of Romans was gathered together and though they were sharing dessert it wasn't birthday cake. "Sejanus, nephew, how good of you to join us at such short notice," Octavia purred. "My brother and I were afraid you would already have plans." "I have a few minutes before I have to head home," Sejanus shrugged. "So what did you want to talk to me about? It sounded important over the phone."

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"It's about the future of our family," Octavia said. "I'm afraid if we don't act now, our entire lineage will be doomed!" "That's awfully melodramatic," Sejanus observed. "Just get to the point, Auntie. What do you want?" "The government of Pirate Island has gone to the dogs," Octavia continued after sharing a glance with her twin brother. "And so has the Buccaneer family. We Toyonagas are the only ones capable of running the island properly. It's time for a coup, dear nephew."

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"What?!?" Sejanus choked on his gelatin. He coughed, and Septimus helpfully smacked him on the back. "You're talking about ... mutiny?" "He's quick, Octavia," Septimus said approvingly. "Very quick. Yes, nephew, we plan to mutiny against the Buccaneers and place one of our branch of the family in the position of island chieftain. It's a few steps down from Emperor, but it's what there is to be had, here." "And just who do you propose to raise as chief?" Sejanus spluttered, still coughing. "Not me! That's for sure!" "Of course not you," Octavia said in a silken voice. "But... your son... he would be a good choice." "I don't think so," Sejanus said angrily. "My family is not getting involved in your crazy schemes. For what it's worth, I think Grace is doing a great job, and Coxinga or Ching Shih will do a great job after her. So just get the idea of running the island out of your heads - it's not going to happen."

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"Now that's where you're mistaken, my dear nephew," Septimus said with a twisted grin. "I'm afraid, Sejanus, that if you aren't for us... you're against us... and we can't have you blabbing things to Grace or Lee." "What?" Sejanus choked... and went on choking.

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"That's right, my dear nephew," Octavia said, getting to her feet as Sejanus clutched one hand to his stomach and the other to his throat. "The gelatin was poisoned. If you'd agreed to join us, we would have slipped you the antidote, and none the wiser. As it is..." she reached into the folds of her gown, withdrew a vial, and took a healthy slug before passing it to Septimus. "As it is, Sejanus, we won't let you stand in our way," Septimus echoed, smacking his lips as he swallowed the remainder of the antidote.

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With a disbelieving, pleading look, Sejanus crumpled to the floor and died. Sometimes I hate this job, Susanna Buccaneer, aka the Grim Reaper, thought to herself as she arrived to collect Sejanus' soul. It's not right, taking someone so young. I wonder what happened to him, anyway? "Stop gawking and get it out of here," Octavia snarled, glaring at Death. "NO NEED TO BE RUDE," Susanna complained. She glanced at Septimus. "BY THE WAY, NICE LEGS. MAYBE WE CAN GO OUT SOMETIME." "Uhh... thanks," Septimus said. "I think." "WHAT? CAN'T A REAPER THINK A GUY IS CUTE? GEEZ..."

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"Well, that was easier than I anticipated," Octavia said once the Grim Reaper was gone. "He reacted much as we expected," Septimus nodded. "Now... this is the part of our plan that I find really distasteful. Shall we, my sister?" "There's no time like the present," Octavia shrugged. She stooped down, picked up Sejanus' urn, and headed into the bedroom.

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Picking up a very ... special ... phone, Octavia dialed a number from memory.

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"Ahh... much better, " she said a few moments later, when the reanimated corpse of Sejanus stood before her. "Welcome to undeath, dear nephew." The zombie glared at her and opened his mouth to speak. Nothing but a moan issued forth.

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"That's right," Septimus said, smiling evilly. "You can't talk, Sejanus. We've stolen your tongue. What a shame, huh? And the same fate awaits the rest of your family unless you let us take over the ... education ... of your son, Justinian. He will sit upon the chief's chair and rule both the island and the Legacy, and that's final!" Sejanus moaned sadly in reply.

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Pirate Island's private elementary school was a small, one-room building that mostly benefitted because of the favorable student-to-teacher ratio. Of course, the building was pink, having been designed by Professor Butters herself. Let's take a look inside at a typical day in the life of its students, shall we?

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There were fourteen students attending Pirate Island private school at this point in time: Angora Buccaneer, Toshiko Buccaneer, Crassus Toyonaga, Coxinga Buccaneer, Shere Khan Buccaneer, Diana Deity, Ching Shih Buccaneer, Lucretia Marius, Justinian Toyonaga, Mini-Toast*, Mini-Robin**, Athena Deity, Cassandra Deity, and Hugo Pseudo. === * childified version of simself of EphemeralToast ** childified version of simself of omgrobinnn

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"Here you go, PB," Mini-Toast said, placing a bright orange reader on her teacher's desk. "Thank you, Toast," the Professor nodded. "Okay, students. Everybody pick up your readers and sit back and your desks. We'll be reading "Catcher in the Rye" today and creating illustrated flipbooks, so make sure you pay attention to what you read." The students trudged to the back of the classroom to pick up books and returned to their desks.

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"Psst... Toasty, what do you think the motivation for the character of Holden Caulfield is?" Justinian whispered as he pored over his book. "I dunno, draw your own conclusions," Mini-Toast said. "I'm not doing your work for you, okay?" "But you already did school once!" Justinian protested. "You know all the answers! You used to be a grown up!" "Going back to school and doing homework was not part of the deal I made with Sarah," Toast muttered, and turned a page. "I refuse to do it."

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"I said silent reading, Toast," the Professor snickered. One suspects that as a simself herself, she was perversely enjoying Toast's annoyance at having to go to school. "And since you've read the story before, I expect your flipbook to be twice as long as everyone else's!"

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"That's what the internet is for," Toast muttered to herself under her breath as she flipped happily through the pages of her comic book.* "I wonder what Aesculus is up to, anyway..." === * The Roots of the Willow, a Legacy by PurpleBunny and ChrisTheS in comic book form.

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"Professor, Toast's reading comic books again," Mini-Robin announced once silent reading was over and everyone but Mini-Toast had put away their books. "I see," the Professor said sternly. She walked over to Toast and confiscated the comic. "Well, at least she has good taste. Toast, you may do a book report on your comic instead -- after I've finished reading it. I'll drop it off at your place on the weekend." "I don't know whether to be happy that I don't have to read Catcher in the Rye or annoyed that I have to do homework on my comic," Toast complained. "Prof, can I do my paper on the comic as well?" Robin asked. A few moments later, the entire assignment had been changed to a report on either the prologue chapter of The Roots of the Willow or the introductory Sim Spade adventure.

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After silent reading and response, it was time for oral reports on subjects previously assigned. It was Toshiko's turn on this fine day. The class listened politely while the Professor tried not to look too alarmed at the way Toshiko related the bombing of terrorists to her favorite type of cake and how to make it. "Thank you, Toshiko, for that illuminating report," the Professor said as Toshiko took her seat once more. "Okay, students, time to split up into fine arts groups. Music students, get your instruments and start practicing quietly at the front of the class. Dramatists, you'll meet in the aisle. Painters, at the back."

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"Oh," the Professor added as an aside as the students started to move from their desks. "Remember the subject for this week's art project - family."

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Lucretia Marius sighed as she picked up a book of plays off of the shelf. "C'mon, actors," she said. "Let's start practicing. I finally picked a play. I think A Doll's House would give a pretty good interpretation of family. What do you think?" The rest of her cast agreed emphatically while the sounds of squawking instruments filled the classroom.

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The five students who had chosen to focus on the graphic arts, meanwhile, got out canvas and mixed their pants. Before long, all that could be heard in the classroom was the sound of paintbrushes slapping on canvas, actors arguing over who got to play which part, and musical instruments being tortured.

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"So what are you painting, Shih?" Robin asked. "My mom," Shih said. "She's really pretty. Who are you painting?" "One of my legacy sims, Nessarose Darling," Robin responded. "Who do you think the others are painting?" "I dunno," Shih said. She called over to the other kids. "Hugo, Toshi, what are you guys painting?" "I'm painting Grandma Marie," Hugo responded. "I'm painting Grandpa Bart," Toshi replied. "Only he's carrying a flapjack bomb in his hand in case he sees any terrorists."

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"And what are you painting, Justinian?" the Professor asked, prowling around the canvasses. "My dad," Justinian said, smearing the canvas liberally with blue paint. "My, you've made him awfully blue and decayed-looking," the Professor said. "Why, he almost looks like a--"

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"A zombie," Justinian said, nodding. "He's been that way for a while." "Oh... I'm sorry," the Professor said awkwardly. "I hadn't heard. Are you doing okay?" "Yeah, it's fine," Justinian said. "Only he smells kinda bad now, and my mom's sad 'cause she wanted another baby. But I think babies are as stinky as zombies. I just wish they would stop hanging around." "They?" "Nevermind," Justinian shrugged, studiously applying more paint. "I have to finish my painting now."

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After class, several of the children ran out to play on the playground while they waited for their school bus. "Push me higher, Hugo!" Lucretia giggled, pumping her legs into the air. "Higher!" For some reason, Hugo was always playing with girls. "Hey, what's your mom doing in there anyway?" Khan asked Justinian as he pushed his friend on the swing.

"I dunno," Justinian shrugged. "Professor said she wanted to talk to her." "Hope you're not in trouble!" Khan said encouragingly. "Nah," Justinian said. "I haven't done anything." "That's what they allll say," Zing smirked.

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"I didn't do anything," Justinian insisted. "Stop bugging me, you guys!" "Aww... we're sorry," Shere Khan said contritely. "You should be," Justinian muttered, but nobody heard him.

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"Mrs. Toyonaga, you can see why I've called you in for this meeting," Professor Butters said, gesturing towards Justinian's now completed painting. "Is it true that your husband is now a zombie?"

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Ellen Toyonaga took one look at the canvas and burst into tears. "It's awful," she sobbed. "He just ... came home that way... and ... and ... his aunt and uncle have been hanging around and they're awful. I'm sure they had something to do with it, but he won't tell me anything - he can't speak! Except whenever I want to tell his aunt and uncle to scram, Sejanus gets all upset, like they'll do something to hurt Justinian or Crassus!" With a wail, she buried her face in her hands.

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"I... see," the Professor said, wringing her hands sympathetically. "My poor dear, you must be very careful. Obviously, some sort of nefarious plot has invaded this legacy and your family has been caught in the middle." "You think?" Ellen sobbed. "What do I do?" "Leave it in the hands of the simselves," the Professor said soothingly. "I'll get in touch with your mother and make sure she knows everything... and we'll get to the bottom of this." "Oh... thank you! Thank you!" Ellen gulped back her tears and reached across the desk to embrace the professor. "Thank you for ... for taking care of things. I've had no one to turn to ... and my babies... I know you and my parents and the other simselves will do everything you can." "You just take care of your boys and stay strong," the professor said. "Leave everything else to me."

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Back at one of the Buccaneer households, it was a very specal day indeed. "Okay, Gran'pa Jack, this is it," Toshiko said solemnly, holding the bear and staring out of the window. "It's my birthday today, and there aren't any kids invited. Is that a cop out or what?" "Arr, missy. Methinks ye are a wee bit too explosive fer yer own age group."

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"Aww, c'mon. I don't blow things up all the time." She frowned. "I don't get to blow things up at all, actually. They don't let me play with real 'splosives." "Yer maters aren't as gormless as they seem sometimes, lassie. Ye'll have plenty o' time fer uncontrolled combustive reactions when ye're a teenager." "Really?" "Captain's honor, lass. All the fiery chemical wossnames ye can handle, and more." "Awww, ye're just saying that, Gran'pa." "Trust me, missy, it's true. Ooooh, it's so true."

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"Mom, mom!" Toshiko said excitedly as Morgan arrived home from work a little later that afternoon."Guess what?" "What?" Morgan asked, ruffling Toshi's hair affectionately. "Gran'pa Jack told me I get to have chemical wossnames once I'm a teenager!" Toshiko squealed. Morgan pondered the statement for a moment. "You know, I think he's right." She smiled. "Is everything ready for your party, love?" "Yeah, come on inside!" Toshi said, tugging her mom by the arm towards the house. "Grandma and Grandpa just finished decorating!"

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All was in readiness for the party, as Morgan found when she walked into the ballooned living room. "Morgan, your parents are flirting again," Kelly said with a note of annoyance. "They weren't very helpful at all what with all the heart-farting and wolf whistling. Next time you have to take a day off work and help, okay?"

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A short time later, as many family members as could make the time were waiting patiently around the living room for Toshiko to blow out the candles.

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Well? What do you think? The general consensus amongst the Buccaneer family is that Toshi ended up pretty cute. Brains and beauty... the terrorists wouldn't stand a chance.

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"Auntie Rose, do you know if they offer courses in Advanced Explodology at the Academie?" Toshi asked. "I... will have to get back to you on that," Rose said after a moment's thought. "What do your parents think of your interest in blowing things up?" "I think they try not to," Toshi laughed.

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With her birthday money, Toshi redecorated her bedroom. The new look, she felt, was much more conducive of an atmosphere for a future counter-terrorism agent.

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"Dad, it's my birthday today!" Hugo said excitedly as he greeted his father after work outside the Pseudo household. "Sure is," Will agreed. "Come on. Let's help your mom and uncles get everything ready for the party."

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"And how about you, Liv?" Green Boolprop, Liv's uncle-by-marriage, asked as he scooped the little girl up into his arms. "Are you ready to blow out the candles and become a big girl?" "Can fish come?" Liv asked, pointing at the aquarium that graced the upstairs bathroom. "I don't think they'd have a very good time, since their aquarium is upstairs and they'd have to leave the water," Green said. "Come on, Liv... the guests are all downstairs!" "Party!" Liv giggled. "Yay!"

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The entire extended family was over for the ceremonial blowing out of candles for both Pseudo children. Unfortunately, the birthday cakes wouldn't fit in the house so they had to blow candles out on the lawn.

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"Wish for bubbles!"

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"I wish... that I have the best teenage years ever with all of my cousins and friends!"

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"Happy birthday!" the guests all cheered. "Woo! Go kids!" a random simself* who had come home from work with Will chimed in. ==== * simself of Netsfn1427 (Blite27)

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"This is awesome!" Liv crowed from the bathroom once she'd finished changing. "Finally! Big enough for bubbles! And... stuff! Fun stuff! This is so much better than being an infant!"

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"Hmm... not bad, if I do say so myself," Hugo said, eyeing himself appraisingly. "Hugo, the ladies are going to love you. Well, the right one will... hopefully." Hugo was pretty confident in himself. But he didn't want to romance all the girls. Just one, preferably. What he really wanted was a steady girlfriend.

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Marie had plenty on her social plate these days, not just birthdays of relatives. She was still working hard towards her goal of twenty woohoos. Rhys Fitzhugh at home was number ... oh, around number ten or twelve.

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She ran her business on-site rather than trusting her manager to run it for her most days. Customer interaction meant more chances to meet men she had chemistry with. Of course, some she didn't have any chemistry with at all, but at this stage in her life she wasn't supremely picky about that.

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Of course, some nuts were tougher to crack than others.

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But not even Vidcund Curious was totally immune to her 'charms'.

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"Uncle Don, do you know when my mom is coming over to visit again?" Toby Biggs asked one of his five honorary uncles. Toby was being raised by a group of six single men who shared a giant bachelor pad in downtown Paris. "Hopefully she's not too busy with work these days," Don agreed. "Your mom isn't in the most friendly line of work, and when she's busy it usually means somebody else is pretty sad." "I know," Toby said.

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Being raised by six bachelors meant that Toby was exposed to all kinds of things that other parents might not necessarily find age-appropriate. "Toby, who would win in a fight?" Toby's dad, Gavin, asked over breakfast one morning. "Chuck Norris or Jean-Claude van Damme?" "That's easy," Toby said with the air of a connoisseur. "Chuck Norris, of course!" "Don't mess with Chuck!" Borealis agreed.

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"I've got a present from Chuck just for all of you," Tycho Biggs, Gavin's twin brother, smirked as he stood up. "Hehe," Toby giggled. "Nice one, Uncle Ty." "Dude, in the dining room?" Holstein complained. "That's just wrong!"

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"I don't see the appeal in rockets," Toby said after a few moments' consideration of the model that one of his cousins had sent him recently. "All they do is hurt people. I'd rather drive cars... oh yeah." He put the rocket in the toy box and pulled out a toy hot rod instead. "This is more like it." A few minutes later his playtime was interrupted by the sound of a knock on the front door.

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Toby flew out of the house and down the stairs. "Mom!" he squealed, giving his mother, Susanna Buccaneer, a giant hug. "You came!" "How's my favorite man?" Susanna smiled fondly, smoothing Toby's hair back. "I swear, Toby, you're bigger every time I see you!" "It'll be my birthday in a few more weeks," Toby said proudly. "And then I'll be even bigger!" "It's not fair," Anna sighed. "I wish I could keep you a kid forever." "Yeah, but then I'd have to go to school forever," Toby said disgustedly. "C'mon, mom! Dad will be waiting for us inside."

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"So, how long are you staying this time?" Gavin asked once Toby had gone to bed. "Can you at least stay til morning? It would mean a lot to Toby." "Well... if I don't get any work calls," Anna said after a few minutes' consideration. "You know I love spending time with my house full of men."

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Fortunately, Anna's pager didn't go off once that evening.

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Of course, that did lead to Toby being horribly scarred by the sight of his mom in her underwear the next morning before school, but having his mother stay over was a special enough occasion that he just made sure he kept his eyes on her face. "How come you and dad never got married?" Toby asked. "You do save up the hard questions for when I come over, don't you," Anna chuckled. "That's 'cause Dad and Uncle Ty tell me to," Toby explained. "Figures," Anna said. "Well, the reason your dad and I never got married is because neither of us wanted to settle down. And with my

job it wouldn't be very easy to settle down anyway." "I don't want to settle down when I grow up either," Toby decided. "You've got lots of time to make up your mind," Anna said indulgently. "Now, shouldn't you get ready for school?" "Will you be here when I get home?" "If I don't get any work calls," Anna promised. "Otherwise, I'll be here in time for your birthday for sure, and maybe even sooner!" "You'd better!"

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"ZOMG! So I totally aced my speling test! 'Irony' FTW!" Mini-Robin announced proudly to the first of her simself guardians she could find when she got home from school. "That's terrific," Pen* said with a smile. "Of course you do have the advantage of having gone through school twice." "I think it's stupid Toast and I have to keep going," Robin grumbled. "But I guess I understand why. If we didn't go, none of the other kids would want to go either so we have a responsibility. At least we don't have to do high school over again." ==== *simself of penguingirl0384

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"I'm starting to sympathize with our legacy sims," Ruby* said as she took a long sip of her 'juice'. "I'm not too keen on this parenting thing." "Hey, both Mini-Toast and Mini-Robin got their report cards back today and they have straight As," Pen said with a shrug. "Obviously we're not doing that bad of a job." "I still think parenting those two is going to drive us all to drink," Jenn** said with a shudder as she tossed back her own juice.

"I think it's too late for that," Michelle *** pointed out with a wry chuckle. "At least they go to bed early," Ruby pointed out. ==== * simself of Ah Rubyblue ** simself of Jnnfr123770, aka Ndainye *** simself of Michael Fobbs, aka MichelleFobbs

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"G'night, Robin," Toast said as she got under her stereotypical goth covers.

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"G'night Toast," Robin replied as she did likewise. "Hey, do you know why they made us decorate our bedroom all goth-like?" "Something about helping out a fellow simmer show off Teen Style Stuff," Toast said sleepily. "Go to sleep Robin. I'm not talking anymore." It hadn't taken Toast long to learn that Robin would talk for half the night if given the chance.

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"Michelle, it's official. We are now and forevermore labelled as Bad Sims," Jenn said. "What?" Michelle asked, looking around. "The microwave!" Jenn said, panicking. "It's on fire!" "Well, if you'd take your ramen out when it was finished instead of waiting for the cute firefighters to do it, maybe we wouldn't be in

danger of firey death," Michelle pointed out. "Is it my fault the firefighters are cute?" Jenn demanded. "Hey, shouldn't we begin panicking now?" "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," Michelle agreed. Fortunately, they did have an alarm and neither of them died. Simselves. Pah.

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The man-maid had just given up cleaning the kitchen in disgust and the girls finished their homework when there was a knock at the door. Michelle went to answer it and was surprised to find Professor Butters standing on the doorstep. "Prof!" she said. "What brings you here? And won't you come in?"

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"It's about the girls," PB said as she preceded Michelle into the house. "What have they done this time?" Michelle asked, rolling her eyes and pushing the door closed. "Can I get you a juice?" "No, I'm fine and they've been remarkably well-behaved, aside from reading comic books instead of textbooks," the Professor reassured Michelle. "I just need to talk to Toast for a minute." "I'll call her down," Michelle nodded. "She and Robin got a new computer and had to load Sim City 4 on it right away. But she usually comes when we call. I think it's because it usually means one of us has cooked something."

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A few minutes later, a slightly annoyed Mini-Toast was downstairs. "If it's about Artemis and the pink full-body tattoo, I had nothing to do with it," Toast said hurriedly when she saw her teacher/fellow simself waiting in the foyer. The Professor's eyes widened. "You'll have to tell me about that later, but that's not why I'm here. It's about Justinian." "The creepy Roman kid with a zombie dad?" "That's the one," the Professor affirmed. "There's something going on with that family, Toast. Something... plotty. And I think you and Robin are going to be instrumental in solving the mystery."

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"Us?" Toast asked, blinking in surprise. "But we're just kids! What can we do?" "Grow up with him. Befriend him. Get him to take you into his confidence," the Professor said. "I'm stopping at Justinian's grandparents' house next, but I wanted to get you and Robin on board first." "Wait..." Toast said suspiciously. "Does this meen we have to be teenagers? 'Cause that's just not fair." "Yes, you'll have to grow up," the Professor said patiently. "But... well... I don't think anyone else on the island can get close to Justinian like you can. The legacy kids could, but I think they might be at risk. They should be spending less time with Justinian if they can help it. Anyway, I'm trusting that you and Robin can act as our child informants. Some of the simselves and I will work at it from more conventional angles but you're our aces in the hole." "Well.. when you put it that way," Toast shrugged. " I guess it couldn't hurt. But I am not doing pimples."

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"Level eight, huh?" Lee looked his wife up and down appreciatively. "That's fantastic, dear! I'm not quite at the top of my career yet so you still have time to catch up." "I love it when you talk money at me," Grace purred.

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"Mom, I really like it when we dance instead of talking about money," Shih said happily as she and her mom slap-danced around the living room. "It is a good idea to take a break sometimes," Grace agreed. "You really don't like money, do you, Shih." "It's a tool, just like everything else," Shih shrugged. "I can see its value in the grand scheme of things, but I don't feel the desire to amass more of it. I'd rather use money to find things out and do stuff, you know?" "I suppose I can appreciate that sentiment," Grace said. "I mean, I like getting money and your father likes getting money. Your brother

is worried we're going to lose money, but that's still money-centric. But your aunts and uncles aren't nearly as worried about finance, and your grandparents... well, I think what they like best is having a good time, in their own ways." "Exactly," Shih said. "Yes, I think you'll do," Grace said with a small smile. "Honey, do you know what a legacy heir is supposed to do?" "Uh-uh." "Let me tell you..."

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With one worry off of her mind, Grace headed to her shop to put in a few hours of work before the kids got home from school. She was grooming Nadine to take over as manager once the store reached top level, and so that meant rotating her through all of the positions so she could get her silver badges. That meant that Grace had to spend time restocking instead of interacting with customers, but she didn't really mind.

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Unfortunately, that meant that Ash Thayer (great-uncle Jack's youngest son) was working the till, and he wasn't very fast. The customers started getting annoyed and Grace ended up closing up early to clean up the mess several of them made when they flung their bags down on the floor and stalked out of the store in disgust. "Sorry boss," Ash said sheepishly as he helped pick things up. "It's okay," Grace said magnanimously. "You're still learning. But I do expect to see some improvement tomorrow, okay?" "I won't disappoint," Ash promised.

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Grace got home just as her kids were getting off of the school bus and she was delighted to find out that both Shih and Zing had stellar report cards. "And mom, we brought friends home from class!" Shih said excitedly. "Can they stay over and play until supper time?" "Of course!" Grace smiled.

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"Yay!" Zing said, overhearing his mom's permission. "Okay, Justininan, you're it!" "No way!" Justinian protested, but he took off after Zing down the sidewalk at a run. "Hey, what are they doing?" Zing asked, stopping short and allowing Justinian to tag him. "Girl stuff," Justinian said with a grimace. "I'm sure glad I don't have a sister. Having an aunt is bad enough." "Let's see if they want to play too," Zing suggested.

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"No boys allowed to play this game," Shih said sternly when her brother and Justinian walked over. "Why don't you two boys run off and play." "Yeah!" Liv chimed in. "This is a girl game." "Well, if you put it that way," Justinian said, "we don't want to play anyway. Come on, Zing. Let's play tag some more!" And he took off at a run.

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"Good, they're gone," Liv said. "That kid Justinian kind of creeps me out." "Me too," Shih said. "But I guess he can't help that his father is a zombie. Poor guy."

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Zing and Shih's playmates left and the guests soon began arriving for Zing's birthday party. He was excited to think that he was almost old enough to get a job. "I wish... for my sister to be the heir and take over the family debts!" Zing said to himself. He was careful not to voice his wish aloud. Then he leaned forward and blew out the candles.

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"Oh yes," he said appreciatively once he'd changed. "This is what I'm talkin' about."

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Outside on the patio, Anna approached Grace somewhat hesitantly. "I need to talk to you," she said slowly. "Oh? What is it?" "It's... about something I saw at work a few weeks ago," Anna said, biting her lip nervously. "I shouldn't even be telling you this, Grace, but I'm worried. A few weeks ago I was called to a house here on the island. One of the Romans was lying dead in someone's kitchen... poison." "What?!?"

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"It was murder," Anna said. "And... to make things worse, they raised him as a zombie not an hour later." "Why would they do that?' Grace asked. "I can only think they have some nefarious plot in mind," Anna said. "Things have been quiet with this family for far too long... I think you and your kids are all in danger, Grace." "Don't be silly," Grace said with a laugh. "We'll be fine. We have Andrew here to protect us. We have nothing to worry about, Anna." "I wish I could be so certain..."

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"So? What happens next?" my husband asked eagerly. "Wouldn't you like to know?" I chuckled. "You'll just have to wait for the next update like everyone else, my dear..." To be continued... -->

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"Hmm... technique isn't bad. Sloppy use of colour, but great concept just the same." "Nicholas ... get out!"