A Little Qigong Goes A Long WayPosted on September 3, 2008 by admin

 

By Ernie Diaz

 

Summer’s over; smell the mooncakes and stop worrying about your abs and cellulite. Besides, in

China, walking around with your shirt off is a strictly lower class statement. A little restaurant

display of naked belly, perhaps, but only if it’s swollen enough to mark you as a person of

substance.

 

That doesn’t mean you can forget about exercising. Honestly though, do any of us ever entirely

forget it? In these superficial times of body worship, even he who never exercises spends plenty

of time beating himself up about it. The most tenacious gym rat will annoy coworkers by moping

about a missed session.

 

The reluctance to exercise springs largely from a misconception: effective exercise must be an

ordeal of clothes-changing, gym-commuting, straining until forehead veins bulge, then reversing

the process. Who but the most insecure among us has the time or patience?

 

Now if you want a cross-cultural way to combat the fact that 80% of your food is drenched in

low-viscosity orange oil, consider Qigong. No, not the levitating, nail-driving fakir tricks used to

wow tourists. Qigong is a vast subject, and claims territory in the realms of religion and magic. At

its simplest, though, Qigong addresses the optimization of energy flow in your body. This natural

process is attained through gentle movements and deep breathing, and manifests from the

inside out, like any legitimate self-improvement.

 

Try the Ba Duan Jing, or Eight Brocade Strands, an amazingly simple set of exercises,

considering the improved physical, emotional, and spiritual health that are its rewards. Later you

can move on to knocking people down without touching them.

 

First Strand: Supporting the Heavens (or – having a good stretch) 

1. Assume the classic about-to-do-something posture, standing with feet shoulder-width,

shoulders loose but held back, knees unlocked. Inhale, then exhale while raising the arms

slowly, together, palms up, as though you’re lifting a balloon. Yeah, that’s it – an invisible

balloon. Focus is everything.

 

2. When your hands are at shoulder level, flip them over and hold them just above your head.

You’re still holding the balloon, only now it’s filled with buckshot. Nothing you can’t handle, just

so you press smoothly from the soles of your feet, press until the arms are totally extended over

head, fingers on left and right hands pointing to each other. Rep it out, up-down, eight times. Try

going up on tiptoes on the push, for balance. Either way, you’ll be increasing your lung capacity,

improving your posture and getting rid of the sleepies, making it a perfect mid-afternoon exercise

to replace that foul three o’clock packet of Nescafe.

 

Second Strand: Drawing the Bow to Shoot the Eagle1. Remember that invisible balloon? With fingertips touching and facing inward, roll the balloon from upper thighs to

the chest. At the finish you’re hugging someone skinny. Now draw a bow, arrow pointed left, right hand pulling the

string, and left palm out. You can even make that ‘L’ sign with the index and thumb of your left hand as you

breathe out.

2. Now bring the arms and torso back to center, and repeat from the beginning, only pointing

your arrow to the right. Four arrows each way for a total of eight. Enjoy the benefits of increased

circulation, and energy flow to the small intestine, if you know what we mean.

 

Third Strand: The Hand of Peace1. Thank God for pictures – this one’s kind of hard to explain. Once you’ve raised that balloon to chest level, palms

facing, you want to do what this woman below is doing, hopefully without looking so smug about it.

2. On an exhale, extend the hands in opposite directions, pressing without undue effort. At full

extension, hold for a moment, then bring the arms together to hold the balloon again, and repeat

with hands reversed. Four cycles of both hands, as you may have guessed. The lateral regions

of your corpus begin to tingle. Your stomach and spleen are the happiest they’ve been since you

started drinking and smoking on a regular basis.

Fourth Strand: Turning Away SorrowSticks and stones may break your bones, but names will devastate your internal organs.

Honestly, all those little quibbles, spats, and full on imbroglios you obsess over as you try to

sleep are taking years off the useful lives of your organs.

1. Turn from the hips, exhaling, hands positioned as though to throw a beach ball. At the point of resistance, instead

of swinging back, hold the stretch for a second or two. The hands should always be centered in front of the chest.

Go back the other way, but focus on increasing the range of movement, which will improve drastically in one set

of eight turns, if you are pure in thought and deed.

2. That’s the finishing position, before turning the other way. Notice this woman’s expression of

supreme emotional catharsis. Her blood pressure has just dropped, her eyes are shining, her

kidneys are glowing, and her therapist is out two hundred dollars a week.

 

Fifth Strand: Shaking the Head and Wagging the Tail (or – focused side bends)You may be aware that Traditional Chinese Medicine places great store in the concept of Hot

and Cold, ascribing all maladies to a prolonged excess of one or the other in the body. You may

not be aware that thanks to high calorie, high protein, low activity lifestyle, almost all of us are

too hot to handle; only one in a thousand is too cold to hold.

The following exercise is for all you hotties out there.

1. Raise the right hand in an arc above the head, palm downward, elbow bent slightly.

2. Transfer all your weight to the right leg and bend to the left, breathing out slowly, letting the

left arm hang naturally. Raise the left heel slightly; it helps.

3. Hold the position at the point of resistance. Breathe in as you rise up and repeat for the right

side, four stretches per side, focusing on deeper and deeper bends. You just try and be tense

after.

 

Sixth Strand: Leaping Between Heaven and Earth (or – Chinese Style Deep Knee Bends)This one’s a must for all you hunched over cubicle dwellers, the nicest thing you can do for your

compressed spine and lower back.

1. Stand in the posture pictured, as though you just walked onstage to a standing ovation, for

winning the Hanes T-shirt model of the year award.

2. Swing those arms inwards, palms facing down, inhaling, signaling the crowd to quiet their

sustained applauding and cheering. Bend at the knees slightly.

3. Exhale as you go down in to a full squat, letting the hands travel down in an arc with you. You

can stop at half squat if you’re from the “less than 90 degrees – bad for knees” school. Just

remember that the dean of that school would be helpless in a Chinese toilet. Inhale as you

straighten up, then go for seven more, focusing on a circular, rhythmic motion.

 

Seventh Strand: Punching Exercise (or – making like an extra in a Bruce Lee movie)This isn’t really about punching, it’s about strengthening internal power. Do these slowly and with

supreme concentration, then when it’s necessary you’ll be able to punch like a cornered Mike

Tyson.

1. Assume the classic gong fu stance pictured below. Stare straight ahead ferociously as though a rival school

master had just sauntered in to issue a challenge. Hold fist as pictured, so that Van Damme himself couldn’t

snatch a pebble from them.

2. Start punching, turning the fist so that it’s facing down at extension. Remember though, no

snap, slow and powerful, staring straight ahead. The fist at your side should be starting to extend

as your extended fist is starting to draw in. We meant it about the staring ferociously, too – an

intent glare will help the qi circulate and increase focus, ergo power.

 

Eighth Strand: Warm Down (or – Doing the Funky Chicken)By now you should be experiencing the curiously Qigong sensation of being simultaneously

loose as a goose and lively as a cricket. The following exercise is sovereign for both getting

those last few kinks out and stimulating the immune system to code red alertness.

Get those wrists turned in and pressing the flesh above your hip bones and beside your spine.

Make sure the shoulders and elbows are completely relaxed. Begin bouncing up and down, but

only from the knees; the feet stay planted. Your hands should be massaging your lower back

just from the momentum of the bouncing. Take a big inhale first and exhale in short bursts

through the nose on each bounce. Repeat eight times, of course, then revel in your newly

acquired powers. You can do Qigong!

* The superfly Qigong master pictured up top is Ibrahim Sene