Second Part ofA Little Help from DestinyAn original storyWritten byuknowulovemary / MRDLCopyright 2013 by uknowulovemaryAll rights reserved. No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of the author.This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either product of the author or are usedfictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales isentirely coincidental.Read my stories at http://uknowulovemary-stories.blogspot.com/Download my stories at http://uknowulovemarystories.weebly.com/index.htmlVisit my Wattpad profile at http://www.wattpad.com/user/uknowulovemaryA Little Help from Destiny3uknowulovemaryA Little Help from Destiny4uknowulovemaryThe Rich and InfamousIt was already a written fact that Kim came from a wealthy family. It was obvious with his cars,their houses, and how they spend their money. Of course, it was also obvious from Kim andSams upbringing. With just one look, it would be easy to tell that theyve come from the upperclass.Ive always thought that they are 3 levels higher from dads when it comes to money and 5levels higher from moms. However, I thought wrong. They are much higher than I thought.Now I wonder, could they be the same level with Mr. Henry Sy and Mr. Tan? Could they be morepowerful than the His Excellency Mr. President?Those kinds of questions just kept on popping into my head ever since I learned that they werereally rich, not only money rich but power rich also.It was the day I was supposed to meet up with Kim at his house, we were going shopping andthen play tennis at the club and so he picked me up from dads house and we went over to hisplace, nang nakarating na kami something came up at kailangan umalis muna ni Kim, so heasked me to stay and so I did.Wala si Tita and Sam sabi kasi ni Kim they had to go to the Embassy, I really didn't know whatthey were doing in the Japanese Embassy and also the US Embassy. Back and forth lagi sila saembassy. And so walang tao sa bahay nila kundi ako lang dahil kasama din nila Tita si obasama.Nanuod nalang ako dahil bored na bored na ako, then habang ako ay busy sa paghahanapng makakain sa kitchen may tumatawag, dahil feel at home ako sinagot ko ito. Yes helloMontenegro residence. I answered the phone, ganyan kasi sa bahay namin and Tita Elise toldme before how to answer their phone calls.May I speak with Ms. Montenegro? tanong nang lalaki over the phone.A Little Help from Destiny5uknowulovemaryIm sorry but shes out at the moment but I can convey the message. I said at kinuha ko nayung pad para isulat yung sasabihin nung guy.Ok. Please tell Ms. Montenegro that the private jet had already set foot at Clark. Sabi nunglalaki over the phone, but he kept on rambling about fuel tanks and the schedule flight and pilotbut he already lost me sa private jet. It already meant that they owned a private jet!After that I hang up already. I didn't quite understand the situation, how rich was theMontenegro? They owned a freaking jet! Philippines didn't even have a presidential plane butthe Montenegro had.I knew for a fact that a jet is worth millions, and its maintenance is also worth millions when itcomes to Philippine Peso. How could they afford a jet? That was all I could think about the wholeday.Dumating si Kim and we didnt go out because pagod na daw siya, we went nalang sa movieroom and nanuod ng Breakfast at Tiffanys, Ive always forced Kim to watch my favorite classicmovies with me. Kaya kahit ilang beses na namin itong pinapanuod ng magkasama hindi siyanagrereklamo.Pero my mind was preoccupied with the whole jet thing. And so humarap ako kay Kim and hepaused the movie and humarap sa akin Whats wrong? he askedYou own a jet. Diretso kong sabi sa kanya, it was a very fast approach ayoko na kasingpaligoy-ligoy pa I want it straight!Yes, we do. He answered like I was just asking him if he has a pen. Yung bang parang walalang sa kanya yung tanong ko. Tinignan ko lang siya ng diretso, nairita na siguro siya kayatinignan niya ako Do you want to ride it some other time? he asked, it was as if asking me for acar drive.A Little Help from Destiny6uknowulovemaryNo. well my mind was telling me hell yes dahil Ive never been able to ride a private plane,wala naman kasi akong kakilala na mayroon private jet si Kim lang. Paano kayo nakabili ngjet?Dad is a friend of the Airbus manufacturer, they offered and we bought one. Why? Do you wantto buy? I could tell dad. He didnt finish what was saying because pinalo ko na siya agad.Ako bibili? We didn't even have that kind of money. Hindi ko tinatanong kung saan niyo binili. Isaid And hindi ko kailangan ng eroplano. I added.Oh, youre asking how we afforded to buy a plane. Kim said How did you even know we havea plane? he asked na parang ngayon lang siya natauhan na alam kong may eroplano sila.Long story short, may tumawag. Sagot ko So paano? Dont tell me you guys are doingsomething illegal in the black market. I said and looked at him with disgust.And so he laughed so hard. You wouldnt go out with me if I am to be a son of a smugglinglord? he asked sarcastically. Sometimes Kims humor is not that high, walang nakakatawa buthe laughed. Medyo baliw na siguro siya.Answer me nalang.Umupo siya ng maayos and then he cleared his throat. First were rich. He said and looked atme with a grin in his face. Second were rich. Really Kims humor was very irritating well I get hispoint in being rich, sila na mayaman sila na may eroplano. I sounded so bitter. Third were reallyrich. He boasted.Enlighten me Mr. Montenegro. I dared him.And so he explained it all to me. Their family was influential. Yung mga government officials, angmga iyon daw may mga backing at sila daw ay isa sa mga nag baback sa mga politicians notjust here in the Philippines but also in Japan.A Little Help from Destiny7uknowulovemaryHe told me na si oba-sama ay galing sa isang influential Japanese family na nagpakasal saisang Pilipino. Ang family daw ng lola niya ay dating pinakamayaman na pamilya sa Japan. Isasila sa nag-fund sa Japanese Empire noong World War II. Kaya until now, theyre still the mostinfluential family in Japan.Sa father side naman daw, ang mga Montengero daw ay simpleng mamamayan ng Pilipinas,business tycoon na sila dati pa pero they never got involved in politics, hindi sinabi sa akin ni Kimkung bakit basta way before his dad married his mom, the Montenegro never got involvedwhen it came to politics, tahimik lang ang pamilya nila dati. Pero that all changed nangpinakasalan ni Uncle Rick si Aunt Sachiko, mas lalong naging mayaman ang mga ito at nakikisalina sila sa politics although they were never mention in any news. Ayun ang isang ayaw daw ngpamilya nila ang mapunta sa kanila ang spotlight.Kim told me they could never run in the elections kahit pa sila ay maimpluwensya dahil sa familybackground nila. How could the Filipino accept a family that funded the Japanese way back?Kaya haggang pagsuporta lang sila at ayun lang.Kung mayaman kayo bakit wala kayo sa list ng pinakamayaman sa Pilipinas? I asked him, hetold me na mas mayaman pa nga sila sa president ng Pilipinas eh, at kung tutuusin kalevel langnila si Henry Sy. Which I dont really believe. Yes they own a private jet pero bakit nga wala silasa list diba?I told you oba-sama doesn't like our family to be published in the papers. Pagsasabi niya.Dagdag pa niya na yung mga balitang yung mga kurakot na politicians na may mga Swissbank account ganun din sila, yung pera nila nakatago sa Swiss banks at wala sa Pilipinas. Dahilnga sa Switzerland meron silang tinatawag na bank secrecy. Talagang private at kahit gaanokalaki yung pera na ilagay mo ok lang. Its the best banks to conceal all your evil doings if yourea politician or a illegal business magnet.We spend the whole afternoon talking about their richest. Madami na akong nalalaman tungkolsa pamilya ni Kim pero si Kim, he only knew a pinch sa aking pamilya. Madami pa din akongtinatago sa kanya, pero siya open na open kaya parang nakokonsensya ako dahil Im stillconcealing things to him.A Little Help from Destiny8uknowulovemaryAkala ko mga sindikato kayo. Pagjojoke ko sa kanya.What if I tell you we are syndicates? Would you still let me love you? he asked.Napaisip ako kung nga masama silang tao, will I still accept him? Sympre ou, wala namanperpektong pamilya. Ano naman kung gumagawa sila ng illegal? Kung hindi naman silapumapatay diba?Ou naman. Kung ikaw yung magmamana edi magiging Queen of Syndicate ako diba? sabiko sa kanyaYeah Queen Mary. The queen of all syndicate all over the world.We could conquer the world! I laughed mga inisip ko talaga pero siguro nga no maganda diniyon, kung may isang group na kayang kaya i-conquer yung mundo tas ako magiging reyna ngmundo! Whahaha. An imagination takes place.Youre vicious. He said and acted like he was disgusted.Pinalo ko siya at sabay kaming tumawa Eh gusto kong maging reyna eh. Alam mo naman angpangarap ko sa buhay eh. I reminded him.Pangarap ko sa buhay ko? Gusto ko lang naman na makapag-asawa ng prinsipe. Kahit sinongprinsipe sympre basta gwapo or wag na gwapo basta may title na prinsipe siya ok na atmagiging prinsesa ako. Ive always wanted to be a princess, siguro sa dati kong buhay prinsesaako kasi haggang ngayon nasa veins ko parin ang kagustuhan na magrule ng isang bansa,thats why before my dream was to be the President of our country. Pero no one believed that Ican, kaya isinantabi ko nalang ang pangarap na iyon.Yeah marry a prince. But why marry a prince when you could marry me? he said I could buyyou anything you want. He said, pero there are things that he can never buy me.A Little Help from Destiny9uknowulovemaryI just smiled at him.The day goes on like that. Nag-usap lang kami at nagkwentuhan.Little did I know I asked him the wrong question.The Yellow PackageLabel.Ayan ang wala pa kami ni Kim haggang ngayon. Label. Hindi ko alam kung ano nga ba kami.Kami na nga ba tulad ng sinasabi ng iba dahil ginagawa namin ang mga ginagawa ng couple?Tulad ng dates, him holding my hand, paghatid sundo niya sa akin kahit nasaan man ako,kausap palagi. Kami na nga ba?Pero hindi ko pa siya sinasagot diba? Still we act like were a couple are we now? I don't knowand I dont wanna know. Hindi ko alam pero parang ayoko munang lagyan ng label kung anonga ba talaga kami dahil siguro madami pang unresolved issues around me.I dont want to be in a relationship where I am not yet in love with the guy Im with. Hindi ko pamahal si Kim, hes important alright and yes I do care for him but I dont love him as a man.And theres the Ash thing. Until now hindi ko parin alam ang isasagot sa kanya. Kung tatanunginako ngayon I will answer yes mahal ko parin siya, sa loob ng matagal na panahon lagi ko siyangminamahal, pangalawa siya sa lalaking minahal ko, at as of now dalawa palang ang lalakingmahal ko. Ive been infatuated with someone like Rey but the truth is dalawa palang angminamahal ko, at haggang ngayon mahal ko parin silang dalawa.Kung sino ang mas matimbang halata naman kung sino sa dalawa kong minamahal ang masmatimbang eh, of course it would always be Louie. Nang mawala si Louie, mas lalong naging A Little Help from Destiny10uknowulovemarymadali ang pagtitimbang ng pagmamahal ko sa kanila. Dahil all this time mahal ko pala si Louielubos pa sa pagmamahal ko kay Ash.And now may isang lalaki na gustong pumasok sa puso ko, gustong magkaroon ng puwang, ousiguro nga meron na siyang puwang pero yung puwang na yun ay kahati niya ang mgakaibigan ko at pamilya ko. I still cant give him the space where Louie and Ash are. Hindi ko pakaya.Natatakot akong pag binuksan ko yung puso ko kay Kim, baka magkulang yung puwang sapuso ko. Baka pag binigyan ko siya ng pagkakataon na magkaroon ng space ay baka mawalayung isa o dalawa. And Im scared.Takot akong malimutan ang dalawang lalaki na nasa puso ko ngayon lalong lalo na si Louie.Kaya haggang ngayon hindi ko parin kayang mahalin si Kim dahil hindi ko kayang ibigay anggusto niya. I cant give him my heart fully.That's why I cant deal with the labels. Kung ano man kami ngayon ok ng walang label muna,masaya naman ako ganun din siya.Mary pwede bang i-print mo yung recipe na lulutuin natin? pagtatanong ni Tita Elise, nanditoako ngayon sa bahay nila Kim dahil naginvite si tita ng dinner with my family, kaya nandito akopara tumulong sa pagluluto.Ngumiti ako kay Tita at pumunta na ako sa study, nandun kasi yung desktop at yung printerkaya umakyat na ako papunta dun. Pagpasok ko inopen ko na yung file ni Tita na sinend niyathrough email sa desktop. I clicked the print button at pumunta na ako sa side ng printer.Nang matapos bumalik ako sa desk at kinuha yung clear folder, inayos ko yung mga recipe tasnilagay ko na sila sa folder. Paalis na sana ako kaso nacurious ako sa isang package, yungyellow na envelope na parang package.Kaya nilapag ko muna yung folder na hawak hawak ko at kinuha ko yung yellow package.Tinignan ko kung saan galing. May parang puting sticker na nakadikit dun sa likod, address ataat galing ito sa US pa. Medyo natigilan ako dahil yung address, nakasulat yung adress ng BrownUniversity.A Little Help from Destiny11uknowulovemaryAlam kong mali na makielam ng gamit ng iba pero hindi ko alam masyado kasi akongpakilemera at curious lang ako kung bakit may envelope galing sa Brown University. Ang tabakasi nung package.Binuksan ko ito, bukas na naman kaya hindi na halata na nakielam ako, pagbukas ko nilabas koyung laman, isang booklet at may isang white envelope, ayun yung kinuha ko at naka-addressito para kay Kim.I had the feeling already but still I insisted on reading the letter. And as I read the letter I was right.Acceptance letter galing sa Brown University, Kim got accepted into an Ivy league university.Kims really a genius after all, to get an early acceptance letter and a course catalog it onlymeans its been decided. Kims going away.Pero bakit hindi sinabi sa akin ni Kim yung tungkol dito? All I thought hed study in La Salle tasnext year nasa La Salle na din ako but I was wrong. Kaya pala hindi pa siya nag e-enroll sa LaSalle kasi hes going to Brown.And now Ive realized aalis na talaga siya. Thats what they were talking about. Thats why maytumawag informing them na nandito na sa Pilipinas yung eroplano nila dahil aalis na siya.I didnt know that I asked him a wrong question, I should have asked him Bakit nandito yungprivate jet niyo? I should have asked him that. Hindi dapat kung paano sila nagkaroon kundibakit nandito.Aalis siya at iiwan din niya ako. Pero tama naman na umalis siya diba? Its a great opportunityfor him.I heard the door open kaya nagmadali akong ibalik yung laman kaso too late, nakita na ni Kimyung hawak ko, lumapit siya sa akin at kinuha yung package. Tinignan lang niya ako hindi komakuha yung tingin niya, I never do.Aalis ka? tanong ko sa kanya.IIm not yet sure. I want to stay here with you. sabi niya. Nasasaktan ako pero hindi dapat. Ipromised you I wont leave your side. Promise, ilang tao na ba ang nangako sa akin pero sahuli hindi naman nila ito tinupad?A Little Help from Destiny12uknowulovemaryI dont want to be a hindrance in Kims life. Hindi pwedeng dahil sa akin hindi siya umalis. Malingmali na nandito siya at wala doon.Congrats Ian. Ivy league yun. I tried to smile at him.Tell me not to go and I wont Mary. Tinignan ko siya, alam kong nagsasabi siya ng totoo. Forthe few months na nakilala ko siya, alam ko kung kalian seryoso siya at kung hindi. I know Kim, Iknow how much his love for me means, alam kong kaya niyang gawin lahat para sa akin. Atalam kong isang sabi ko lang hell definitely stay.Gusto ko siyang magstay pero napaka-selfish ko naman. Porket ayoko lang maiwan ulit ako ngmga taong nagmamahal sa akin, hahayaan ko bang sirain niya yung buhay na dapat ay sakanya?Umalis ka. Kunin mo yung opportunity, minsan lang yan Kim, and with your skills you could beanyone. Kayang kaya mong ma-achieve ang lahat ng pangarap mo kaya go and study atBrown. Pagsasabi ko sa kanya. This is the right thing to do, to let him live his life, maling magingshadow lang siya.But youre one of my dreams Mary, I cant leave you. alam kong seryoso kaming naguusappero kinikilig ako dahil ang cheesy niya masyado.Hindi mo naman maiisgurado na maa-achieve mo na makasama ako eh kahit nandito ka.Kaya take that opportunity Ian. And maybe one day pag natupad na yung mga pangarap moisa na din dun yung makuha mo yung puso ko ng tuluyan. I smiled at him.How could I win your heart if Im not around? he asked.Absent makes the heart grow fonder. Ngumiti ako sa kanya Kung pipiliin mong manatili ditoat tanggihan yung opportunity na binibigay ng Brown then Im sorry Ian, mali pala angpagkakakilala ko sayo. I wont accept you kung tanging rason mo lang para magstay dito aydahil sa akin. Dahil natatakot kang hindi mo makuha yung puso ko. Ayokong maging dahilankung bakit hindi ka nagpunta sa Brown. So go and make all of your dreams come true. Malaymo next year nasa US na din ako.Ngumiti siya sa akin pero hindi ito yung signature smile niya, may halong sakit yung ngitiniya Youre going to try next year? he asked me.A Little Help from Destiny13uknowulovemaryIt was one of my goals dati, to study in an Ivy League university. Pero napakahirap naman kasingmakapasok lalo na kung foreign student. I havent even taken the SATs. But maybe I should try.Well hindi sa Brown but in Yale. But still nasa US parin ako kaya Kim, go and study at Brown. Ibelieve in you. I've always dreamed of studying in Yale.Hinawakan ni Kim yung dalawa kong kamay But how could I leave without even knowing whatwe are. He said.Labels. In the end kailangan din lagyan ng label ang isang relationship.I smiled at him As of now hindi ko alam kung ano tayo Kim. Sabi ko naman sayo dati eh,ayokong pumasok sa isang relationship kung hindi ko pa mahal yung guy, hindi pa kita mahal,mahal kita bilang kaibigan pero hindi pa sapat yon para lagyan natin ng label kung ano mantayo. Pagaamin ko sa kanya.Alam ko dapat sinabi ko nalang sa kanya na kami na para mapanatag siya at umalis perofeeling ko kasi pagsinabi ko iyon, baka mas lalong hindi siya umalis, at ayokong umasa siya namahal ko na siya.I get it. He smiled at me But will you wait for me? tanong niya sa akin. Parang mali namansiya eh, dapat ako ang nagtatanong niyan kasi haggang ngayon siya ang naghihintay sa akindiba?Tumango lang ako 10 years from now, kung handa kang maghintay ng 10 years at wala kapang ibang mahal at ganun din ako then I would marry you Kim. Nagulat ata siya sa sinabi kokasi his jaw dropped open. Magaaral tayo ng mabuti at in 10 years pagtayo talaga edi tayo.Thats our 10 year plan Ian.Thats when I formulated our 10-year plan, the plan that made me think about the future.But before I didn't know that that plan wouldn't be made possible.A Little Help from Destiny14uknowulovemaryThe Slumber PartyChoosing.Ive never liked multiple choices in every exams I take. Para sa akin eto yung pinakamahirap natype of exam, nasabi sa akin dati ng History teacher ko na lahat ng choices ay tama kaya langmay mas tatama pa dito. You have to carefully analyze the questions then the choices, sa tinginmo lahat ito ay tama, ou tama silang lahat pero which choice is the best answer for thequestion? Think carefully. Its not really kung anong first instinct mo ayun na yung pipiliin mo,kasi minsan mali naman ang instinct mo diba? So dont go with what your instinct wants, isipinmong mabuti kung ano bang tama. Ano bang pinakatamang sagot? Think with your mind butanswer it with your heart. I remember my History teacher told me nang nagrereklamo ako sakanya, he was also the one who told me na para din sa kanya ay ang multiple choice angpinakamahirap na type of exam.Really Ive never liked multiple choices, I find it difficult and boring, boring in a way that theresso much choices and sometimes I hastily choose whatever, I just encircle one of the choices atayun tapos na. Kaya minsan when our exams are all multiple choices I hated it cause ang babako palagi. Because I make poor choices.As much as possible I dont want to deal with making choices, I dont want something like amultiple choice decide my life. I dont want to deal reality by choosing. I hate choosing. Idespised it because I know for a fact that once Ive chose Id regret it soon. Like I said I am notquite the chooser.But here I am, stressed over the fact that I HAVE TO CHOOSE! Its about time to make mydecision final. I pushed the choosing away during summer, hindi ko ito inisip muna, I relaxed,nilagay ko yun sa pinakadulo ng utak ko, the place where I dont have to think about it moreoften.Pero ngayon hindi ko na ito matatakasan, I have to choose whether I like it or not. I really hatethis, now I have to answer the million-dollar question.Who will it be?A Little Help from Destiny15uknowulovemarya. Ash Torresb. Kevin Ian MontenegroIts hard. I think sa ngayon eto ang pinakamahirap na tanong na kailangan kong sagutin. Athindi ko alam kung ano bang tama. Kung sino ba talaga ang pipiliin ko. But I know deep down Istill have another choice.c. None of the aboveAt alam ko na ang pagpili sa C would mean walang masasaktan, pero can I live with that?Hindi ba ako magsisisi na pinakawalan ko sila? Paano pag dumating yung araw na masmatimbang pala si ganyan? Na mali yung desisyon ko na walang piliin sa kanila?Thats why I called for reinforcement.I hosted a slumber party for me and my friends. Alam ko na matutulungan nila ako sa pagsagotsa million-dollar question. I invited seven of my closest friends and cousins sympre panay babaekami, tonight is about all girls walang boys na kasama. Dahil boys would somehow be ahypocrite about these things.Anyway solo namin yung bahay sympre except sa mga maids but other than the maids and thecook eight lang kami na nasa bahay, mom is away as usual and si kuya naman ay enjoying hislast days. Malapit na kasi ang pasukan nila kaya nagaaliw sila ng mga friends niya somewherehere in Luzon I think.Alam mo pinapahirapan mo ang sarili mo M, sino ba ang mahal mo? asked Claire,pinapahirapan ko ba yung sarili ko talaga?Tama. Yung million-dollar question mo is like the 100 dollar question pa lang. pag aagree niCass kay Claire.A Little Help from Destiny16uknowulovemaryYeah sino nga ba ang mahal mo Mary? Lani asked, ganun lang ba kadali yun?Si Ash. Pag sasagot ko sa kanila. Kanina pa kasi kami nagtatalo about this problem of mine,pero laging nadi-divert yung debate namin over some gossip.Eh ayun naman pala eh, so si Kuya Ash ang pipiliin mo. Said Sky, all the way Sky is Team Ashsympre mas kilala niya yun kaysa kay Kim pero bakit ganun? Mahal ko si Ash pero ayaw kongsaktan si Kim. Ano ba talaga? At isa pa I don't know kung anong klase pagmamahal ang meronako for Ash.Porket ba mahal niya si Ash siya na agad? Paano naman si Kim mahal siya nun diba? nagulatako kay Pat kasi shes like Team Kim right now. Ewan ko pero natuwa ako kasi I thought masgugustuhin niyang piliin ko si Ash para you know mapasakanya si Kim although hindi man niyaaminin I know she has a crush on him.Ayy alam niyo nagcoconference call kami ng mga classmate ko kagabi then may tanong nanag pop bigla. Sabi ni Yannie, see nadi-divert lagi yung usapan sa ibang usapan and this willbe a long night Eto yung tanong who would you rather choose, the one who you love butdoesnt love you back or the one who loves you but you dont love? pagsasabi niya nungquestion Sino pipiliin niyo? she finally asked.Love is all about taking risk kaya Im willing to gamble my heart so I would choose theformer. Sagot ni Elle.Ganun din ako. Pag sangayon ni Claire.Nah mas pipiliin ko yung lalaking mahal ako. Sagot ni Pat.Lahat sila tumingin sa akin and alam ko na hinihintay nila akong sumagot, all my years readingnovels and watching movies, I would always choose the second man yung lalaking nandun sababae nang mga oras na nasasaktan ito dahil sa bidang lalaki, mas gusto ko lagi yun.And I guess I dont really like taking risk, takot akong masaktan, thats a known fact for everyoneto see. Thats why Ive been putting some facade para hindi ako masaktan, dahil as much as IA Little Help from Destiny17uknowulovemarywant to love I dont want to get hurt, ayokong maramdaman yung heartbreak. Im scared ofputting a bet in my heart.Sympre dun sa lalaking mahal ako kahit hindi ko mahal. Sagot ko sa kanila.Edi ayan na yung sagot mo, kay Kim ka na. Pat exclaimed.Eh mali naman eh. Mahal siya ni Kuya Ash diba so mali yung former, dahil mahal siya nunglalaking mahal niya. Pag hindi sang ayon ni Sky.And now were back with Team Ash and Team Kim. Who would it be? Pero when Pat said na Ishould pick Kim, it made me wonder, ou nga no, mahal ako ni Kim pero hindi ko siya mahal at if Iwere reading a book or watching a movie, I would definitely choose Kim but no, tama ni si Sky,mahal ako ni Ash.Pero sinaktan naman siya ni Ash. You werent there Sky nung umiyak si Mary kay Louie. Sabi niLani, I remembered well, nung nasasaktan ako nung first year ako si Louie agad yungpinuntahan ko, and Lani was always there too.Pero he said hes sorry right? At mahal siya ni Kuya Ash. Sky protested.Sure ba tayong mahal talaga niya si Mary at for argument sake lets say mahal nga niya siMary more likely hell hurt her again. Pagsasabat ni Yannie. Tama theres a slight chance thathe would hurt me again.Bakit si Kim ba hindi siya sasaktan? asked Elle.Thats right. Eh aalis nga siya eh. Sky joined Elle.Long distance relationship never works. Claire agreed with both of them.Works for Ash too. Sabi ni Cass Ash is going to college too ah at kung hindi man, hindi namansila schoolmates ni Mary kaya ldr din sila.Oh see nahihirapan na din kayo. Sabi ko at nagtawanan lang sila, isa isa silang tumayo at A Little Help from Destiny18uknowulovemarynagpaalam na kukuha lang ng pagkain sa baba or mag totour sa bahay. Maghahanap dawsila ng multo.Naiwan kami ni Lani at Pat dahil tinatamad kaming maglibot libot sa bahay. Alam mo, mahalka ni Kim sobra. He makes you happy. Alam kong nasasaktan ka parin sa pagkawala ni Louiebut your smiles are back. Hindi na shallow yung smile mo. He makes you smile. Sabi ni Lani, Ilooked at my fingers unable to look at her. Alam kong tama siya eh. Tama siya pinapasaya akoni Kim Alam ko naman na haggang ngayon hindi ka pa handa para buksan ulit yang puso mo.Kasi haggang ngayon dalawa lang ang nilalaman niyan. Its either Louie goes or Ash diba yanang nasa isip mo? At dahil ayaw mong may mawala, you pushed all your feelings away. SiLouie I know for a fact hindi siya mawawala diyan sa puso mo, so its left with Ash, haggangngayon sinasabi mo na mahal mo pa siya pero is that really true? Mahal mo nga ba si Ash odahil second love mo siya kaya sinasabi mo na mahal mo pa siya? Lani told me, all she saidwas true kahit anong mangyari si Louie lang ang hindi mawawala sa puso ko, siya lang yunglaging mananatili. Pero si Ash ba?Sinaktan ka dati ni Ash, weve witnessed it, tatlo kami nila Louie, binago mo yung sarili mo saharap ng iba, Ash did help to change you for the better, kasi dati masyado kang prim andproper sa ibang tao except sa mga close sayo. Hindi ko pa man namemeet si Ash pero in all ofyour stories about him ganun din kay Sky, I know sasaktan ka niya ulit. Not intentionally peroganun din sasaktan ka niya at kung dati yung pagbabago mo was for the best ngayon hindi koalam kung ganun parin. Wala ng Louie na sasalo sayo. Pat said. Kim loves you. Hindi ka niyakayang saktan. Handa siyang itake down yung offer ng Brown para sayo. I closed my eyes,ewan ko pero naiiyak ako sa sinasabi nila ni Lani. I know how serious this talk is and I cantbelieve that once I doubted Pats friendship with me, I acted insane dahil I thought ayaw niyaako para kay Kim but hearing her saying good things about Kim.Ayokong saktan si Ash. I said Ganun din kay Kim, I care too much about him. Ayoko siyangmawala kaya nga nahihirapan ako eh. Kasi like what you said Kim is pulling me up. I confessedto them.You know very well that deep down youve already chosen right? said Lani. Ayaw mo langaminin dahil alam mong may masasaktan pero thats the ugliness of love. One must get hurt inorder for the other to be happy. Kahit anong gawin mong pagiiwas, pipili at pilli ka din at maymasasaktan. Its inevitable.Shes somehow right, sa huli kailangan ko parin pumili at may masasaktan kahit anong gawin ko.At maybe tama din siya na deep down may sagot na talaga ang million dollar question ko.I smiled sa kanilang dalawa Youre right Ive already chose who. And with that cue tumayo naako to join the others sa baba to make food or to eat whatever theyre making.A Little Help from Destiny19uknowulovemaryTapos na yung usapan. Ive chose. I analyzed it already and I think this whole time my heartalready chose someone. I've finally answered the million-dollar question.And its only a matter of time when hed realized hes the one I chose.But I didnt know choosing him would make me regret it someday.The First GoodbyeI am going to miss the Montenegro Family, especially Kim. Sa June 2 aalis na sila for US, Kim willbe studying at Brown University, he'll be taking the PLME (Program in Liberal Medical Education),talagang pinapatunayan lang ni Kim kung gaano siya katalino dahil that program only accepts50 or 60 freshmen out of the thousands of applicants para sa program na iyon. I'm really proudkasi unti unti matutupad na yung pangarap ni Kim na maging doctor.Pero kahit anong saya ko para kay Kim, nalulungkot parin ako dahil aalis siya at iiwan na niyaako, okay madrama man isipin pero nasanay na kasi ako na laging nandiyan si Kim, na isangtawag ko lang darating agad siya. I do want him to go pero ewan ko ba mahirap lang sigurongaminin sa sarili ko na ayoko.Today is June 1 at Kim and I would go on a date daw sabi niya, it's his last day here kaya dawgusto niya ako ang kasama niya for today until tomorrow ang drama din kasi nitong lalaking to.Mas madrama pa siya sa akin. Naku.Nagpunta kami ni Kim sa mall yeah I know common na pero sympre ako ang kasama ni Kim sopaanong magiging common yun diba? At isa pa common lang yun pag yung nagda-date aynagwi-window shopping lang pero sympre iba kami.Dahil trip ko, sinunod ni Kim, nagcontest kaming dalawa with one hour shopping marathon,paramihan kami ng mabibili na may sense naman at hindi basta basta kinuha lang sa racks. At A Little Help from Destiny20uknowulovemarysympre dahil isa akong napakamalaking kuripot, cards ni Kim yung ginamit naming dalawa forthe silly contest.Kim won dahil na tigil ako sa Tiffany & Co looking at the key pendants, I remembered Louiepromised to buy me the key pendant with his own money, yung pera niya talaga at hindi galingsa allowance ng parents niya.He tutored pa just to save money for the pendant pero in the end hindi niya natupad yungpromise niya kasi iniwan niya ako bigla. I've always wanted the pendant pero mas lalo ko itongnagustuhan nung nawala na si Louie, dahil I wanted to wear something with his memory but Ican't seem to buy it, every time na I decided I should, hindi ko magawa I always backed out.Kim found me there and he asked me kung gusto ko yung pendant, sinabi ko ayoko kasiknowing Kim once I nod he'd buy it at ayokong bilhin niya ito para sa akin kasi that pendant ismy only memory of Louie. I don't want it to have a new memory.After that, nilagay muna ni Kim sa car niya yung pinamili namin, yung mga binili niya ay para saakin, pati damit ko alam niya size ko at pati mga style. We then ate sa CPK and continued onwalking around the mall. Sigruo nung na bored na ako sa Shang nagpunta naman kami saMOA for the bowling. Nag bowling kami and of course talo ako. Hindi naman kasi ako magalingmag bowl, nabibigatan kaya ako sa bola.We ate dinner at Mcdo dahil I really wanted to eat spaghetti and fries na pinagsama, ayaw niKim dun kumain dahil he wanted na sa fancy restaurant kami at hindi sa isang fast food perosympre ako ang masusunod kaya sa Mcdo kami, dahil maraming tao sa Mcdo nag take outnalang kami ni Kim and we went to the car park, the car was parked outside the IMAX kayanakikita yung dagat.After eating our dinner, binili ako ng Kim ng ice cream and we walked outside the mall atpapunta sa Church, hindi ko na alam yung name nung Church na iyon pero since bata palangako at wala pa yung MOA dito sa Macapagal, nagpupunta na kami nila papa dito at nagjojogsi papa and after that mass naman sa simbahan.Pumasok kami dun sa loob and I prayed na sana maging ayos lang si Kim sa US. I really wantKim to enjoy but of course dapat tandaan niya na wag masyadong mag enjoy mag-isa!A Little Help from Destiny21uknowulovemarySa bahay namin matutulog sila Kim dahil maaga kaming aalis for their flight, at nasa Subic yungplane nila, sympre hahatid ko sila at para na din makita yung plane nila. Nung paguwi namin,mom and Tita Elise were talking kung ano daw ba ang kukunin kong course sa college andwhat university.I haven't really thought of that one, ewan ko pero hindi ako naeexcite na mag college or eventhe senior year. But knowing my mother she told Tita na of course sa La Salle or Ateneo ako. Formy course sympre napili na din niya ang Business Ad. Pero sympre ako ang masusunod at walapa akong alam.Yeah, I've been thinking of taking Biology since third year at lalo kong nagustuhan mag doctordahil na amaze ako kay Aunt Sachi pero ewan ko. Kaya ko ba? Hindi naman kasi ako ganunkatalino like Kim. Pero ewan ko.Kim and I went to my room first at nagkwentuhan lang. He was sitting sa couch while watchingthe tv at ako naman ay nasa desk ko at nagbabasa lang. It was a common scene to see, us likethis."Will you miss me?" he then asked me as he lowered the volume of the tv.Tumingin naman ako sa kanya at ngumiti lang "Hindi din." I joked "Pero ako sure akongmamimiss mo ako...""Of course I'd miss you and you being so full of yourself." he smirked."Heh! But in all seriousness I will miss you too Kim." I said sincerely. Hindi man ako expressiveminsan kay Kim I wanted to tell the truth for once.He smiled "Thank you." he said ewan ko bakit siya nag thank you pero bahala na si Batman. Westarted talking then about everything. "So what will be your plan for your senior year?" he asked.Senior year is slowly approaching.A Little Help from Destiny22uknowulovemaryI shrugged dahil hindi ko naman ramdam yung year na to eh. Ewan ko basta ayoko langnabobored lang ako. Alam kong dapat magseryoso ako dahil of course I need to maintain myrank pero tinatamad talaga ako ngayon."You need to study hard Mary." he said to me. "And what's your plan for college?" he asked. Megoing to Yale is not possible because of mother. Gusto niyang tapusin muna namin ni Kuya yungcollege here at Philippines before going abroad. Ewan ko ba sa nanay ko."La Salle?" I shrugged."You're not going to take UPCAT?" he asked."Should I?" I asked him. Alam kong UPCAT is for UP pero hindi ko naman gustong magaral sa UP."Well I didn't take UPCAT." he said"Bakit hindi? Diba required kayong mag apply for the big four?" I asked kasi dati Karl told me narequired sila magtake ng test sa big four. Kaya ano tong sinasabi ni Kim?"I was exempted in that rule." he smiled. Oh right, si Mr. Exemption pala tong kausap ko. "But ifyou really want to take Bio try to UP." he said "And it's a great experience taking UPCAT.""As if naman alam mo yung pakiramdam diba?"I decided na magtatake ako ng UPCAT, tutal wala naman mawawala kung I'll try diba??Parang ang bilis nung oras, it was time for us to go to Subic, tahimik lang kami ni Kim and Samwas still sleeping sa lap ko. Kim was holding my hand and I just let him. He'll be gone for a very A Little Help from Destiny23uknowulovemarylong time and hindi pa siya sure kung makakauwi siya for Thanksgiving but my family isexpecting him at ako din sympre.I felt so sad remembering na aalis na siya at matagal kaming hindi magkikita, pero kahit anonggawin ko ngayon aalis siya. He'd hate me in the future pag pinigilan ko siyang abutin yungpangarap niya dahil sa selfishness ko at dahil natatakot akong magisa ulit.We reached Subic and there I saw the plane, it wasn't big as a commercial plane pero sympremalaki parin ito compared dun sa mga small chartered plane. Pumasok ako sa loob dahil hindipa naman sila aalis, nandun lang kami ni Kim at Sam sa loob at si Sam nagtatakbo na sa loob.I'll miss that girl. Parang kapatid ko na din siya. Si tita din mamimiss ko ng sobra. Ang damingtinuro sa akin ni tita dati. And also Oba-sama, kahit tahimik si Oba-sama mamimiss ko parin siya.Karl and Kim were talking sympre mag best friend sila and of course Karl is bidding goodbye tohis best friend. Ako naman eto naiiyak dahil sa mga sinasabi ni tita."Mamimiss kita talaga Mary." she hugged me again."Ako rin tita."I carried Sam naman "I'll miss you onee-sama.""Me too hime." I told her as our noses met. "Onee-sama loves hime.""I love you too onee-sama." I smiled at Sam.It was time for me and Kim to say good bye, niyakap niya muna ako at naiyak na ako.Nahihirapan akong magpaalam sa kanya ngayon dahil ayoko talaga siyang mawala. Ayokongmaiwanan ulit.A Little Help from Destiny24uknowulovemary"Don't forget me." he told me.Kahit pa naiiyak na ako, napangiti ako "Sympre naman. Ikaw din ah." I said. "Tandaan mo yung10 year plan natin.""I will." he said. "Stay safe and study hard. If you're having a hard time you know you can alwayscall me right?"I nodded "Ikaw din ah Kim, nandito lang din ako.""I'll call every day." he assured."I'll answer every day." I also assured him. "Magingat ka dun Kim ah! Alam kong hindi ka namacu-culture shock dun pero ingat parin ah. Don't get too excited sa freedom na makukuhamo!" I told him."I promise I'd behave and just study hard." He said. "I love you Mary."And just like that I couldn't answer him. I do love Kim pero as a friend lang at iba yungnararamdaman niya para sa akin. And I couldn't lie to him, not him. Hindi ko magawang sabihinna mahal ko din siya cause he'd see right through me.He smiled at me though "You don't have to answer me Mary." he said. "But always rememberthat I love you as I promise you I'd love you forever.""Thank you Kim." I said "Goodbye Kevin Ian." I smiled as I waved my hand.It's hard saying goodbye but I know we'll meet again someday. This is not yet the final goodbyebecause this is just one of the many goodbyes yet to come.A Little Help from Destiny25uknowulovemaryAnd just like that the plane took off and I forgot to tell Kim about one thing:I chose him.Babies for 8 weeksOne month since Kim left for Brown University and I'm currently on my senior year in high school.Araw araw kaming naguusap ni Kim, yes walang palya yung araw, for one month wala kamingna miss na araw kung saan hindi kami nakapagusap.It's unbelievable especially dahil na din sa time difference but we talked every day, our talks arescheduled, every weekdays it would be 6 ng gabi sa Manila and Kim would wake up mga 4 ngmaga. He'd call first sa phone ko to check on me kung nakauwi na ba ako then after that Skypena and we'll talk haggang kailangan na niyang mag prepare, tinutulungan niya ako with myhomework and everything at nagkukwento siya tungkol sa mga ginagawa niya at ako dinnaman.Kim is currently taking light courses dahil summer palang naman sa US and sa fall pa magiistartyung class niya so medyo hindi pa siya busy kaya talaga siguro araw araw parin kamingnakakapagusap. I still miss him though. Siguro nga nasanay lang ako na lagi ko siyang nakikitaafter all we did spend our summer together at sa iisang bahay pa.I'm not doing well sa school, I know that fact dahil tinatamad talaga ako, yung bang parangwala akong goal, na parang wala talaga akong pakielam for the rankings basta easy easy langako, one month na and minsan lang ako mag recite sa school, yes I do well sa quizzes pero ibaparin ang recitation and extra co-curricular activities.I stepped down from the student body government as the COS, last March kasi yung election forthis school year's government. The party that I joined won, I didn't get elected sa position ko,yung position ko kasi ina-assign ng winning president and vice president minsan unanimousdecision from the whole student body government and sympre ako yung napili for the COSposition dahil I was like the campaign manager for that party. Pero I stepped down and handed A Little Help from Destiny26uknowulovemaryit to Cyril, sympre my teachers especially my former adviser got mad dahil nga I needed thatposition for my extra co-curricular.Well wala na silang magagawa dahil nga I left it na. Sa totoo lang naman ayoko naman talagamainvolve with the government, pero since it was such a great honor I accepted it, pero ewanko kung ano ang meron sa utak ko at I decided to step down.That position would have made me the one with the highest extra-co-curricular dahil the other14 are not in the government. If hindi ako bumaba sa position na iyon, I could be second napero well what's done is done at hindi pa naman ako nagsisisi sa ginawa ko.Though Kim was disappointed din, he encouraged me na kailangan ko daw talaga mag aral tograduate with honors. I feel lucky to have him pero ewan ko basta.Basta ayoko na yung maging GC masyado gusto kong ienjoy yung last year ko sa high schoolkaya I'm taking it easily.Last three subject na namin for today, we were asked to go to the great hall for the assembly ngmga seniors, I on the other hand ay pinatawag ng Home Ec teacher namin na si Ms. LesilieLopez, so nagpunta ako sa faculty for her.Tumayo siya agad and naglakad kaya sumunod na ako, we used the teachers' stairs paramakaakyat sa Home Ec Lab, at dun pinaliwanag ni Ms. Leslie yung gagawin ko for today andthat would be being her assistant for today. I'm close with her lahat naman ata kami close sakanya eh.And then nagtawag pa siya ng anim na lalaki from other section at pinadala niya yung apat namalalaking box papunta sa great hall na sa kabilang building pa. Tas for me naman pinahawakniya yung isang folder sabi niya wag ko daw buksan.So there nauna na kami na wala si Ms. dahil may kukunin pa daw siya sa faculty. Pagpuntanamin dun sa great hall nilapag na nila yung mga box at sympre ano pa bang makikita mo saisang hall na puno ng seniors, edi naglalaro sila, yung iba naman nagkukwentuhan lang atsympre ako sumama dun sa mga old classmates ko na naglalaro ng jack stone.A Little Help from Destiny27uknowulovemaryPero after 5 minutes dumating na si Ms. Leslie at pinapila na niya kami according sa section, twolines bawat section. Sympre hindi naman agad agad naayos yun dahil kami ata angpinakamagulong batch, kailangan pang pumito ni Ms para lang magsipuntahan na sarespective lines namin.Umupo si Ms dun sa upuan sa likod ng mahabang table na nasa harap namin. "I'll bedistributing your first grading project today." she announced "Actually kayo ang first batch forthis project, swerte niyo at naabutan niyo ang upgraded curriculum ng Home Economic." shesaid. "Etong project na to is widely used sa US kaya sure akong iba may hula na for this dahil samga napapanood niyo before." she said. "Today I'll be distributing your babies for 8weeks." nagulat kami sa sinabi niya, and sympre nagprotesta ang iba at yung iba namilosoponaman. "Ang ingay." sabi niya. "Our school bought 300 simulated babies from US at sana langwag niyong masira ito agad dahil sabi ko nga kanina kayo ang unang makakagamit nito atsympre sa susunod pang batch next year gagamitin din nila iyon." she said.Sus pauso talaga tong school ko, may pababies babies pa pero Karl's school din merongganyan dati pa, partner nga si Kim at Karl and they almost failed buti nalang at nandun daw siTita Elise to take care of the baby.Nagsalita pa si Ms. Leslie about the simulated babies at yung goals ng project na ito, at yungmga contents ng isang box for us. She told us the deadline which is after the first grading exams.So we really have 8 weeks with the baby wow."Mary halika dito." tawag sa akin ni Ms. Leslie kaya I went sa harap, pagitan namin dalawa yungtable tas binigay niya sa akin yung folder na pinadala niya kanina sa akin "Masakit lalamunanko kaya ikaw pagtawag at ako mabibigay nung babies." she said. Tas tumayo siya at mayinangat na dalawang box at nilapit sa akin, binuksan niya ito at sinilip ko, mga diapers at damitbati bote na nasa isang bag na pang baby din. "Ikaw mabibigay nito as you call out theirnames ah." she said at she went dun sa may dulo ng table kung nasaan yung mga pinadalaniya kaninag malalaking box. "Class tatawagin kayo ni Mary by pairs at dahil mas magandakung may thrill ang class natin, I prepared this." she said tas tinaas niya yung isang fish bowl namay mga papel. "Bubunot kayo dito kung ilan ang anak niyo. Maximum of three dahil haggangtriplets lang." she smiled and sympre we all protested. Anong klase yun diba. mahirap kayamagalaga ng isa paano pag dalawa or worse tatlo? "Let's start." she said and tinulak niya saakin yung fish bowl.A Little Help from Destiny28uknowulovemaryAko naman naexcite eto yung mga gusto kong gawin minsan eh, so umupo ako sa tass ngtable at nasa gilid ko naman yung box, I opened the folder at tinignan yung first couple atnatawa ako for the partnering na ginawa ni Ms. Leslie she knows us best talaga."Ariel and Chris." I smiled, sila yung sa batch namin yung may pinakamahabang love story, sinceelementary may crush na si Chris kay Ariel pero sympre pakipot si Ariel. Nagtawanan yung ibadahil sympre nga naging pakipot si Ariel which led na magalit si Chris at ayun lagi na silangnagtatalo dalawa. Pinabunot ko na sila at swerte nila dahil isa lang.The rest goes on. Madaming natuwa sa partnership at madami din nainis dahil halatangnangiinis si Ms. It was a funny day talaga. Tawa kami ng tawa every time na may makakabunotng triplets or twins. Tas minsan nagtatalo pa sa kulay ng anak nila.Ako na yung next at nagulat pa ako sa nakita kong name pero hindi ko pinahalata dahil bakamalaman nila yung secret ko na haggang ngayon si Ms. Leslie palang ang nakakaalam dahilsiya lang yung nasabihan ko ay mali pinilit niya akong aminin dahil nakita niya akong nagblushnung first Friday Mass.Tinignan ko ng masama si Ms. Leslie pero ngumiti lang siya. And urged me to continue so I diddahil sila din naghihintay pero ayoko talaga kasi mahahalata nilang lahat yung partner ko,obvious naman na yung partnership is arranged according sa crushes or couples.They were anticipating mine dahil natitira nalang naman na boys na laging nali-link sa akin aysila Den at Rey pati si Cyril. I bet they're all betting na si Rey yan pero mali sila dahil napakatalaga ni Ms. Leslie. "Mary and Allen." I said. And yeah nagtaka sila kung bakit."Bat hindi si Rey Ms?" tanong ni Paul. "Mas entertaining pag silang dalawa." he said, yeah masentertaining nga!"Sawa na ako kay Rey bagong mukha naman dapat para kay Mary." she said and I blushed.Lumapit na si Allen "Sino bubunot?" he asked, classmates kami ni Allen first time ko siyangmagiging classmate at crush ko siya. Bakit? Masama bang magka crush? Hindi naman diba? Imotioned him to pick kaya siya na and luck was on my side dahil isa lang anak namin.A Little Help from Destiny29uknowulovemaryBinigay sa amin ni Ms. Leslie yung isang negro na baby, tawa sila ng tawa after all maputi ako atsi Allen naman medyo lang tas anak namin negro kaya pinalitan agad.Ang awkward lang dahil sa lahat ng classmate ko hindi ko pa nakakausap si Allen minsan lang.After matapos ng pamimigay, it was time for the birth certificate, ang arte lang talaga. Hiwalayhiwalay kaming lahat para ifill yung mga kailangan.Dun kami ni Allen sa bench malapit sa bintana. Nasa bench yung baby kami sa floornakaupo. "Anong pangalan?" he asked."Babae ba?" I asked, kaya tinignan namin kung babae at babae nga. "Ano bang gustomo?" tanong ko sa kanya."Ikaw babae kaya ikaw mapili.""Ehh..." I protested"Mary Allen." sabi niya"Ms! Paano yung surname pati yung relationship?" tanong nung isa"Bahala na kayo, kung gusto niyo married or what. Basta you need a story for it." she told us,dahil hindi lang yung baby yung icecheck after 8 weeks, sabi niya kanina dapat may kwentokami about sa buhay with the baby para bang basta ang hirap iexplain.Tinignan ni Allen yung papel namin "Teenage pregnancy?" he asked."Ayoko. Sure marami ng ganyan." I saidA Little Help from Destiny30uknowulovemary"So married?" he said and I nodded nalang. And there we named our baby Mary Allen ZobelSantiago.Nagusap lang kami ni Allen about the baby at paano aalagaan yung baby for 8weeks, kung kanina kada araw tas bigla nilang kami naging hiwalay na mag-asawa na salit salitsa baby.Iniwan na kami ni Ms. at babalik siya pag uwian na, pero sa ngayon kami muna at lahat kaminageenjoy sa baby namin.Allen was with Baby Len, nickname ng baby namin, and ako naman ay tahimik lang medyonapagod kasi ako, naglaro kasi muna kami nung nawala si Ms nag habulan, kaya nakaupomuna ako, nag ring bigla yung phone ko at tinignan ko kung sino.Nagulat ako sa tumatawag dahil ang aga niyang tumawag, madaling araw palang siguro dunkasi 2 palang so mga 12 am palang dun. "Hello?""Hey. Are you busy?" Kim asked."Wala si Ms. bakit ang aga mong napatawag aren't you supposed to be sleeping?" I asked."I just got home and I might not be able to call later." he said saan naman kaya itonagpunta. "So what are you doing?" he asked."Wait saan ka nagpunta?" I asked.He chuckled "I was in Manhattan." he said "So your turn.""I have a baby na!" I told him"What baby?"A Little Help from Destiny31uknowulovemary"Duh simulated baby." I told him at nagkwentuhan lang kami ni Kim muna pero pinatulog ko nadin siya dahil halata sa boses niya yung pagod. I didn't tell him about my partner, hindi niyaalam na crush ko yung partner ko kasi magseselos yun at baka bumalik pa yun dito.Bumalik si Ms. with juniors helping her with boxes. "Nakalimutan ko yung stroller ng babiesniyo." she smiled at pinapila niya kami para sa stroller at yung parang sabitan ng baby sakatawan.Allen and I decided na sa akin muna si Baby Len for this week, araw araw dapat dala naminsiya kundi may deduction.Our Home Ec project is actually interesting. 8 weeks with Baby Len and Allen.Real DealMalapit na matapos yung project namin sa Home Ec, today would be the last day of our finalexams, I didn't study for the exams, didn't even open my books to study. I was too occupiedplaying with Baby Len, nakakatuwa kasi yung baby na yun. Ang galing galing lang. Nagingbata ulit ako sa project namin. Even my cousins played with me. We were too absorbed with thesimulated baby.But I did fine with my exams, madali lang naman yung exams eh. Tomorrow we'll be graded nafor the project then wala ng pasok until Monday. And sa Monday second grading na namin.Ang bilis ng panahon.Dahil nga medyo naging absorbed ako with Baby Len at madami din akong ginawa hindi ko namasyado nakakausap si Kim ganun din naman si Kim naging busy na siya kaya ayun hindi natalaga, minsan twice a week nalang at tuwing Sunday lang minsan.Naging close ako kay Allen dahil sa project na ito, kasi sumunod na araw after ibigay sa aminyung project kinuha niya yung number ko at lagi kaming naguusap, una tungkol lang sa baby A Little Help from Destiny32uknowulovemarypero time passed by at ayun ang dami na namin pinaguusapan everyday. Siya na yung kausapko araw araw.We've grown close pero hindi naman ako isang assumera na iisipin na may something sa amin niAllen dahil sympre may girlfriend yung tao at isa pa wala naman talaga akong dapat iassume,crush ko lang naman yung tao dahil gwapo siya. Pero wala na talaga."Kain tayo sa labas?" pagaaya ni Chelsea sa akin, she's my best friend sa school at nasa ibasiyang section kasi ngayong year pinaghiwalayhiwalay na kaming batch, kung dati first year tothird year block kami ngayon iniba na nila, dahil nga masyado daw kaming naging China (Theclosed door policy).Nasa tapat kami ng classroom ko dahil I was still waiting for my adviser na matapos yungpagche-check ng room kung maayos na, leader kasi ako ng cleaners for this week kayakailangan kong maghintay for my adviser."Tinawag ako ni Ms. Leslie kanina eh, sabi niya akyat daw ako sa lab." I told her. "Magchecheckako ng test sama ka?" I asked her, minsan nalang kaming magsama samang group dahilsympre hindi na kami classmates kaya naiiba tas hindi ko sila kasabay na mag recess or lunch,ibang section kasabay ko."Intayin ka nalang namin sa labas." she said, sympre aayaw niyang mga yan na mag check ngtest papers. I nodded then entered the room kasi tinawag na ako ni Ms. Ryn. Chelsea wavedgoodbye to me at umalis na din siya.Paakyat na ako sa lab kasi sinamahan ko pa si Ms. Ryn pababa ng faculty, ayun nga paakyatna ako nung nakasalubong ko si Allen at Den na magkasama. Nasa may hagdan kaminagkasalubong kaya natigil kami dun sa gitna."Saan ka pupunta?" tanong sa akin ni Den, kumakain siya ng Cornetto at naiinggit ako."Sa taas." I said habang nakatingin parin sa ice cream ni Den.A Little Help from Destiny33uknowulovemarySiguro napansin ni Allen na nakatingin ako kaya inoffer niya yung isa niyang dala. "Gustomo?" he asked.Sympre naman nahihiya naman akong kunin lang yung binili niya pero sympre inagaw ni Den atbinigay na sa akin. Makakahindi pa ba ako kung binigay na nila sa akin? So I opened my icecream with a smile at alam kong nakatingin sila sa akin. Dun ko lang naisip na madami akongtest papers na ichecheck at hindi lang ang mga fourth year kundi pati third years."Sama kayo?" I asked. "Check tayo ng test papers." I said.Si Den parang si Flash talaga dahil biglang nasa may baba na siya "Len una na ako. ByeMary!" he said at tumakbo pa pababa.Si Allen naman napakamot sa ulo niya, halatang mapipilitan siyang sumama sa akin. "Kungayaw mo ok lang." sabi ko "Tutal binigyan niyo na ako ng ice cream. Ayos lang sanay nanaman akong mag-isang mag check.""Ah hindi tara samahan na kita." he said at nauna ng umakyat.This is what you call reverse psychology!Ayun nag check kami ng mga papers ng third year dahil tapos na yung sa amin, kung hindi papinaalala ni Ms. Leslie yung baby baka nakalimutan ko na siya! Naiwan ko pala yung baby saclassroom."Ayy may deduction yan. Sinong magulang ang makakalimot sa anak. Tsk. Tsk." Sabi ni Ms.Leslie sa akin, tumakbo pababa si Allen para sa baby, siguro kukunin pa niya yung susi sa facultyulit. Kawawa naman yung baby.?A Little Help from Destiny34uknowulovemaryThe next day, wala na akong ibang dalang gamit kundi yung baby at yung mga ibang projectna ipapasa ngayon. Pasahan kasi ngayon.We were assembled sa great hall para sa pagbibigay ng project.Physics yung nauna kaya, we all passed our project, sunod naman yung sa Math na worksheetlang, the rest goes haggang sa Home Ec na.Hinuli talaga nila yung Home Ec kasi we are to tell them our story.Last pa kami ni Allen dahil yung sinunod na sequence ay yung pagbibigay ko ng babies before.Nagkwentuhan lang kami sa likod ni Allen at nung iba pa dahil ang boring nung mga nasaharap. Tama nga hula ko at ginamit nila yung teenage pregnancy."Kamusta na pala si Kim?" tanong sa akin ni Gael, isa siya sa mga haggang ngayon classmateko pa rin at sympre being my classmates before kilala nilang lahat si Kim. Sa ngayon kongclassmates hindi pa nila kialla si Kim kunti lang nakakakilala sa kanya talaga."Buhay pa." I said."Siya ba yung dati na kasama mo nung nagpunta ka sa school nung summer?" Allen asked.Hindi ko naman maalala yung sinasabi niya eh. "Yung may training kami tas kinausap mo siSir." he reminded me. Ahh that day, nagpasa ako nun ng short story ko at bigla akong tinawagni Sir Raymond."Hindi naman siya pumasok sa loob nun ah." I said."Sinundan ka nila Riley at nakita kang nakasakay sa isang bmw." Pagkukwento niya."Oh? Hindi ko alam yan ah." sabi ko. "Pero ou siya nga yung Kim."A Little Help from Destiny35uknowulovemary"Naku Allen ang sweet ni Kim diyan kay Mary. Spoiled na spoiled." sabat ni Mandy."Boyfriend mo ba yun Mary?" tanong ni Tony."Hindi ah." sagot ko naman."Denial queen talaga tong babaeng to." sabi ni Chelsea, nasa likod ko pala sila."Sila na nun." shesaid."Oy hindi ah!"Natigil kaming lahat sa pagkukwentuhan nung turn na namin ni Allen. We presented our familyto be a broken family but in the end for the sake of the child nagkabalikan kami dahil angpangit for an infant na agad ng sira yung pamilya niya.Kami lang ata yung broken family style ewan ko dahil hindi naman ako nakinig kanina eh.Isa isang sinabi ni Ms. Leslie yung grade namin at napatalon ako dahil we received 98 nagjokepa si Ms. na kung hindi daw namin nakalimutan si Baby Len kahapon 100 kami. Isa kami sahighest. At dahil sa tuwa napayakap ako kay Allen at naghiyawan yung mga tao even Ms.Leslie parang kinilig, si Ms. Ryn naman a grim face.Sympre humiwalay na din agad ako. And said sorry.Our class decided to celebrate dahil sa buong seniors nasa amin yung mga highest, kaya wedecided na kumain sa labas.We looked for a table first at nung meron na sasama sana ako sa mga bibili kaso sabi ni Allenlibre na daw niya ako kaya ayun nakaupo lang ako, kasama sila Gael at Mandy.A Little Help from Destiny36uknowulovemary"Ikaw ahh. Chansing ka kanina kay Allen." pang aasar ni Gael, silang dalawa lang yungnakakaalam tungkol sa pagkacrush ko kay Allen not even Chelsea knows about it kasi makaKim yun at baka magalit bigla."Hindi ko naman sinasadya eh!" I said."Kahit na." Sabi ni Mandy "Pero kamusta yung feeling nung niyakap mo?" she asked excitedly.I smiled nung naalala ko yung kanina ewan ko pero feeling ko namula yung mukha ko "Kakaibabasta naramdaman ko niyakap niya din ako eh!" I said na kilig na kilig."Nakita ko yun! Yung kamay niya!" Sabi ni Mandy."Hindi ko nakita kasi kinilig ako sa ginawa mo." sabi ni Gael."Hoy babae, ang daming binili ni Allen na pagkain ah!" biglang sabi ni Ella na may dala dalangtray ng food niya. Umupo na siya."So?" I said."Ikaw ah!" she said "Ang kuripot mo at ang dami mong pinabili kay Allen.""Uy sabi ko lang kahit ano!" I protested.Dumating na din si Allen at umupo sa tapat ko and handed me my foods, ang dami nga, maychicken at spaghetti na may fries at burger pa. "Thanks." nahihiya kong sabi."Ikaw pa."A Little Help from Destiny37uknowulovemaryWe all ate happily, siguro after ng two hours nagsimula na kaming magdisperse, kakatext kolang sa sundo ko na sunduin ako. Kasi sabi ko kanina tatawag nalang ako pagsusunduin na akodahil walang exact time yung dismissal ngayon."Saan ka?" nagulat ako sa nagtanong akala ko kasi nakaalis na siya."Ahh babalik ako sa school." sabi ko dun nalang ako maghihintay sa lounge para mas safeako. "Kaw?" I asked."Wala ka pang sundo?" he asked without answering my question.I shook my head. "Sige balik na ako sa school." sabi ko at lumabas na."Samahan na kita." he said at wala na akong nagawa pa.Sinamahan niya akong maghintay sa lounge at kwentuhan lang kami habang naghihintay.Siguro mga 30 minutes din yung paghihintay.Nalaman ko lang nung tinawag ako ni Cyril "Bes andun na si Manong Rod." sabi niya sa akin atbiglang tingin kay Allen at nagnod lang siya.Tumayo na ako at ganun din si Allen "Sige una na ako. Thanks sa pagsama." I said at lumapit nakay Cyril na kinuha yung shoulder bag ko at siya nagbuhat. "Bye ingat sa paguwi." I said."Ikaw din." sabi niya.At naglakad na kami ni Cyril papunta sa kotse, "Anong meron at magkasama kayo ni Allen?" heasked. Cyril is one of my closest guy friend, before he ranked as my second best friend perosympre dumating si Kim so naging pang third siya.A Little Help from Destiny38uknowulovemary"Sinamahan niya lang ako maghintay. Bakit?" I asked.He just shrugged "Napapadalas ata ah."I poked him sa may tagiliran niya "Uy nagseselos si best friend." I said teasingly."Sympre naman!" he said at inakbayan niya ako at naglakad na ulit kami "Sige ingat ka." hesaid nung nasa tapat na namin yung kotse, si Manong pinaandar na yung kotse at si Cyrilbinuksan na yung pinto ng kotse."Bye Cy." I said at pumasok na ako.Kinuha ko agad yung phone ko sa bulsa ng palda ko at nakitang madaming nagtext,nakalimutan ko to kanina nung kasama ko si Allen. Mga GM lang naman kasi to eh.I received a text from Allen.From: Allen Santiago :)ingat pauwi.I smiled sa text niya kahit simple lang. And just like that nagring yung phone ko at tumatawag siKim kaya sinagot ko ito. And I told him my day well except for the part that I hugged Allen andthat he made my legs go weak.Kim's BirthdayToday would be Kim's birthday. Kakauwi ko lang galing sa school at sa mall kasi bumili pa ako ngcake at foods na favorite ni Kim para sa birthday party niya pati na din mga party poppers.Hindi ko man kasama si Kim ngayon, gusto ko parin na bigyan siya ng isang birthday party.A Little Help from Destiny39uknowulovemaryTinulungan ako ni Yaya na ayusin yung kwarto ko, habang ako naman inaayos ko yung pagcoconnectng tv at ng internet pati na din yung video camera. Maya maya darating na din si Karlat we'll celebrate Kim's birthday.Nung maayos na yung lahat sa kwarto ko, may banner pa nga na nilagay si Yaya between ngdalawang pillars ng kwarto ko, at yung iba pang party poppers nakalapag lang like the hats.Yung mga foods nasa center table naman.Parang hindi party ni Kim kasi pink. Sympre naman ako ang nag plan kaya pink siya.I connected na yung video call to Kim at within a minute sinagot niya, medyo bagong gisinglang siya kaya sabi niya mag-aayos lang siya.After 10 minutes bumalik si Kim. "Mary una na ako ah." sabi ni Yaya "Happy birthdayKim." pagbati niya kay Kim.Ngumiti naman si Kim kay Yaya "Thanks ya." he said at ayun umalis na si Yaya."Happy birthday. Wala pa si Karl kaya mamaya na yung pagblow ng candles ah." sabi ko sakanya."Thank you." he said."Anong plano mo diyan ngayon?" I asked him."Mom asked me to go to New York for today." he answered. Nasa New York kasi yung pamilya niKim while nasa Rhode Island siya.A Little Help from Destiny40uknowulovemaryNagusap lang muna kami habang wala pa si Karl. Pinakita ko sa kanya yung mga foods at yungcake "Oh right nakuha mo na ba yung regalo ko?" I asked him. I bought him kasi online ng isangCartier na watch, mom's credit card of course. Nagpaalam naman ako kay mom.He smiled tas tumayo siya at may kinuha sa drawer ng bedside table niya "Here." he smilednung pinakita niya yung box ng Cartier. "I like the card more." he said as he wiggled out thecard from his hand.Nakasulat kasi sa card ay With love, Mary Zobel xo.Karl came at nagusap pa sila ni Kim, nagkwento pa si Karl kay Kim ng mga chismis about highschool friends nila. Parang hindi sila naguusap eh, lagi din yang dalawa nag-uusap.Pinalo ko na si Karl para sa cake, sinindihan na niya yung candles at ngumiti naman ako kay Kim,si Kim ayun nakangiti lang din."Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Ian, happy birthday toyou." Karl and I sang the birthday song.Hawak hawak ko yung cake at nilapit ko pa sa may tv "Blow na." I told him at he closed his eyesat sabay kaming nagblow. Kumain lang kami ni Karl ng carbonara at cake habang si Kimkinakain niya ay oatmeal and a dragon fruit.We laughed and talked at the same time, it was a good day. Masaya ako kasi kahit papanonapasaya ko si Kim. The idea of this kind of party came from way back, I also planned a partylike this before para kay Louie. Nung birthday niya kasi nasa Singapore sila kaya kami nila Cassna naiwan ay nag-prepare ng party para sa amin at kanya.At ayun nung naalala ko na pwede ko din gawin yun kay Kim, ginawa ko na. Kim's away athindi naman basta basta yung lugar kung nasaan si Kim, I cannot go and throw him a partykaya through the internet nalang diba.Karl had to go dahil may gagawin pa siya. So kami nalang ni Kim yung naiwan. I was lying onthe floor while eating the remaining cake at nakaharap sa tv, kinakausap lang si Kim.A Little Help from Destiny41uknowulovemary"Ou nga pala Kim nagkita na ba kayo ni Phat sa New York?" I asked him, Phat is currently in NewYork for her advancde subjects. Malapit na din ang pagkuha niya ng SATs kaya her parentsdecided na dun na siya magaral sa New York instead of being home schooled. Of course Phatis studying at a very expensive prep school in Manhattan."No, but I saw Claire." he said. Claire is also studying sa New York, same school as Phat daw."Sabi pala ni mama baka daw sa New York kami magspend ng Thanksgiving." sabi ko sa kanya,mom got invited kasi to one of her foreign friends para sa Thanksgiving, ang aga aga palangpero they invited her. Mom is still thinking about it dahil nga may pasok kami."Then you can join our dinner right?" he asked. And I nodded.Napatingin ako sa portrait sa dingding, it was me and Louie, kuha yun nung birthday ko last year,ang ganda gandang tignan nung litrato kasi napakasaya ko pa nun, ang saya saya ko pa, angsaya pa namin nila Louie at lalong lalo na hindi ko pa alam na mawawala siya sa akin.Siguro napansin ni Kim na nakatulala ako kaya tinawag na niya ako, good thing hindi nakikita niKim kung ano yung tinitignan ko."Can I ask you about him?" he asked. And for a fact I knew naintindihan niya kung bakit akonakatulala kanina, he knew where I was looking, siguro nga kabisado na niya yung kwarto ko.Pero dapat ba akong magkwento kay Kim? Lalo't na birthday niya pa ngayon. "It's yourbirthday Kim. Sure ka bang gusto mong mag-usap tayo tungkol sa kanya?" I asked."I am. You never talked about him." he said. Right. Kahit kailan hindi ako nagkwento tungkol kayLouie. The only thing Kim knew about Louie was that Louie is my first love and he's gone now. Atsiguro mga trivial things nalang. Pero kahit kailan hindi ako nagopen ng topic tungkol kay Louie.Kasi haggang ngayon nasasaktan ako.A Little Help from Destiny42uknowulovemaryI sighed deeply. "Anong gusto mong malaman?" I asked, it's his birthday after all."Why do you love him so much?" hindi ko inaasahan yung tanong ni Kim. siguro ito ang mgatanong na kahit kailan hindi ko makakalimutan dahil kahit pagbaliktarin mo pa yung tanong nayan, iisa lang ang sagot.Dahil siya si Louie.Pero hindi pa naman ako ganun kasama para sabihin yung totoo kong sagot na kaya ko mahalna mahal si Louie dahil siya si Louie, simple as that no need for more explanation."Si Louie kasi yung unang tao kong pinagkatiwalan." I answered. Totoo naman ang sinabi ko eh,Louie was the first person I trusted. "Siya yung una kong naging kaibigan." I said. "Although masnauna kong nakilala si Phat, si Louie ang una kong naging kaibigan. Nung bata palang kasi akobelieve it or not mahiyain talaga ako....""I know you are." Kim said."So yeah hindi ako nakikipagusap kahit kanino, I remembered na gusto akong ipa-check up nipapa, kasi daw I was showing signs na isa akong introvert. I'm not an introvert by the way, perokahit bata palang ako nahihirapan na talaga akong magtiwala." I continued with my storytelling. "I was easily bullied because of my skin and hair and that's when I met Louie." I smiled atthe memory.He was such a sweet boy."And he was the first person who I allowed to enter my world. He was my prince." I told Kim."You love him because he was the first person you trusted?" Kim asked."Parang ganun na nga." I said.A Little Help from Destiny43uknowulovemary"If he was still alive would I have a chance with you?" He asked, I guess eto talaga yung gustoniyang malaman.I couldn't lie to him. Hindi ko kayang magsinungaling sa kanya dahil kahit hindi ko sagutin yungtanong niya alam na din niya yung sagot."Wala." I honestly said and I saw how his expression changed. I wished na hindi ko siyasinasaktan lalo na ngayon pero he asked for this. "Wala. Kasi all my life alam kong si Louie na.Kung buhay man siya alam kong sa huli kami din." I told him at isa paWala because by Christmas that year he would have confessed his feelings and we would betogether and you would have been a week late.Hindi ko sinabi yun dahil alam kong mas masakit yun. But it was the truth that I later found out.Nalaman ko dahil sa mga sulat niya sa akin, I learned his plans a little too late."Bakit mo natanong Kim? Would you still continue if he was alive?" I asked him.He smiled weakly. "I would rather want him alive than dead cause it's so much easier having tocompete with someone alive than someone who isn't here anymore." he murmured pero narinigko parin and I knew what he meant.Alam kong nasasaktan siya kasi pakiramdam niya lagi siyang nakikipagkompetensya kay Louiewhich is undeniably true. Siguro isa yan sa mga sinabi ni Kim na hinding hindi ko makakalimutankasi isa yan sa mga bagay na makakaalala sa akin na lagi ko siyang nasasaktan.Dahil ayoko ng masaktan pa si Kim, I pretended not to hear it and changed the topic tosomewhat livelier. Ayoko naman talagang pinaguusapan si Louie lalo na ngayon na malapit nayung death anniversary niya at ang birthday niya.A Little Help from Destiny44uknowulovemary"Happy birthday ulit Kim. Enjoy your day." I said goodbye dahil madami pa din akong gagawinpara sa ngayong araw.Pinaayos ko na din kay Yaya yung kwarto ko while I went towards my closet to get histhings. Nung nakaalis na si Yaya, I jumped to my bed and started opening the tin box thatcontained his letters for me. And everything about him.I started reading every single letter and also his journals.I miss him so much. I miss my best friend so much.Shoulder to lean onSaturday ngayon at grade deliberation ngayon, pati na din yung ranking. Si Yaya yung kasamakong kumuha nung grade dahil sympre busy si mom and dad. Si Yaya naman palagi kaya walang bago dun.Kulang na nga lang pati guardian ko si Yaya na nakasulat kaysa kay mom eh. But whatever.Nagpunta na kami ni Yaya sa school, as expected hindi na kami pumunta ni Yaya sa PTCmeeting, my mom is the parent teacher council president dahil I won nung first year ako as thetitle beholder kaya nanalo din si mom and that was being the four year president ng council.It's surprising nga na hindi pa nadi-dismiss si mom sa council eh, lagi naman siyang wala eh perominsan nagpupunta siya pag may meeting lang kasama yung principal that is.We walked inside the building and I stopped dun sa posting ng overall and I think my wholebody froze. Hindi ko alam kung nananaginip lang ba ako o hindi pero sobra akong nagulat nanaiiyak na din ako.A Little Help from Destiny45uknowulovemaryWala yung pangalan ko.Napansin kong tinignan ni Yaya yung posting tas tumingin siya sa akin "Baka nagkamali langyan." she said pero we all know na hindi nagkakamali yan. That piece of paper was thoroughlychecked by the committee.Paanong nangyaring wala ako? I was the Top 3 nung third year. I was running for Salutatorian.Parang ayoko ng umakyat sa classroom and face Ms. Ryn at paano ko din kakausapin si Ms.Raquel? Pero pinilit ako ni Yaya na umakyat. Ayoko sanang pumasok pero pinapasok ako ni Ms.Ryn, I saw how disappointed she was.Pinalabas niya muna yung iba kong classmates na tumatambay lang, Riley patted me sashoulder bago siya lumabas.Pinaupo na kami ni Ms. Ryn at nakayuko lang ako nung binigay niya yung grade ko kayYaya. "Nakita mo na ba yung posting?" she asked me. Tumango lang ako pero hindi parin akomakatingin sa kanya sa sobrang hiya ko "Lahat ng grades mo bumaba Mary. You ranked top 11overall." she said.Pero ano pang saysay nung top 11 ngayon na bago na yung regulation about sa honor roll? Nahaggang top 10 nalang yung makakasama sa honor roll?"Sinabihan na kita na take this year seriously. Sinabihan na kita dahil isa ka sa mga running forvaledictorian Mary. You could have been the top 1 ngayon lalo na kung COS ka parin." Ms. Rynlectured. I didn't know I was running for valedictorian ang alam ko salutatorian yun pero notvaledictorian. Kung alam ko lang....."Ms. Leslie tried to savage your grade, pati na din ako with the other teachers mo pero Mary youhave how many new teachers? They don't know you still. Wala ka daw participation sa class,lagi daw kayong nagkukwentuhan ni Riley sa likod. What's happening may problem ba sabahay?"A Little Help from Destiny46uknowulovemaryI shook my head "I'm very disappointed Mary. Nilagay kita sa class na to dahil I have greatexpectations." she said. Alam ko naman yun eh, simula nung nalaman kong adviser ko siyaalam ko na mataas na ang expectations niya sa akin. I felt pressured dahil ayoko siyang madisappointsa akin pero ngayon eto ang ginawa ko.I looked at her "Babawi nalang po ako ngayon." I said."Mary disqualified na yung mga hindi nakasama sa top 10." she said."Pero top 11 naman po diba ako? Kaya ko naman bawiin yun. Mataas yung extra cocurricularko, yung acad naman Ms. kaya kong bawiin agad yun. Babawi ako Ms." I cried. Hindiko kasi alam na matatanggal ako. All my years na pag-aaral would be wasted.Hindi ako makakaakyat sa graduation to grab a medal of my own. Makukuha ko lang diplomapati loyalty award. How could that happen? Ang dami kong nakuha nung third year ako, tasngayon masasayang lang dahil sa kababayaan ko."May dalawa pa naman grading Ms eh kayang kaya ko pang bumawi.""Ayun nga Mary, dalawa nalang yung grading period. Second grading na and that's theregulation, alam mong first grading ang qualifiers, not second but first. Wala na tayongmagagawa. Just do well sa mga subjects na angat ka sa iba. And I'll talk to the principal aboutyour grades kung kakayanin mong bumalik then I'll do what I can. I promised Ms. Raquel naakong bahala sayo ngayon." she said.Matagal din natapos yung pag-uusap namin, paglabas namin ni Yaya, nandun yung mgaparents naghihintay. Niyakap ako ni Gael nung nakita siguro niya yung mata ko. At siguro nakitana nila yung posting.Dapat aalis kami ngayon nila Chelsea pero nawalan ako sa mood at gusto ko lang umiyak sabahay. Umalis na din kami ni Yaya at nung nasa sasakyan na kami, pinabili ko muna si Yaya ngice cream kasi hindi ko na kaya yung kalungkutan ko. Nagmadali naman bumili si Yaya.A Little Help from Destiny47uknowulovemaryAko naman pumasok na sa loob at agad kong tinawagan si Kim. And when he answered hindipa siya nakakapagsalita umiyak na ako sa kanya, tahimik lang yung linya at ako lang yungumiiyak. Iyak lang ako ng iyak dahil sa nangyari.Hindi parin kasi ako makapaniwala sa nangyari. Kasi yung pinaghirapan kong maabot nawalalang na parang bula.Nakabili na si Yaya at nung nakita niya akong umiiyak binigay niya agad sa akin tas tahimik langsila ni Manong habang ako kumakain ng ice cream at umiiyak kay Kim sa phone."What's wrong Mary?" Kim finally asked me.Hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin kay Kim. I know he'd be disappointed in me too. Alamko yun. Kasi when I told him about the UPCAT, na hindi ko sineryoso yung test he told me I shouldhad."Wala na ako sa top." I said."How did that happen?" Kim asked, he was astonished with what I just said."Diba sabi ko naman sayo tinatamad ako....""I told you to study Mary--""Please Kim, hindi ko kailangan yung lecture mo ngayon. Kailangan ko ng masasandalan.Please wag muna ngayon yung I told you so. Pwede bang umiyak nalang muna ako sayo?" Icried and he then let me. He then played the piano and I listened as I calmed down.?A Little Help from Destiny48uknowulovemaryMonday, my eyes were swollen from crying for two days, mom still don't know about my gradesat hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin sa kanya na wala na ako sa top. I don't want todisappoint them both.Tahimik lang din ako sa classroom, hindi ako nagsasalita at pag recess hindi ako lumabas ngclassroom, nakaupo lang ako with my head rested on my desk. They all tried to talk to me perohindi ko sila lahat pinansin.They might think na sobra kong madrama sa ginagawa ko pero kasi I am a disappointment. It'sso embarrassing to face them all. I was one of the student na running for the valedictorian oreven the salutatorian spot pero eto ako ni wala sa top 10.Top 11.Lunch dun ako niyaya nila Gael kaya sumama na ako sa kanina, we ate in silence or ako langyung tahimik? Nauna na akong natapos kaya sabi ko babalik na ako ng room, pababa akonung nakasalubong ko si Ms. Raquel.Nung Saturday I decided na kailangan hindi kami magkita ni Ms. Raquel kasi I don't watn to seeher being disappointed in me. I promised her before that I'll do my best this year, na I will makesure na aakyat ako sa stage not as the first honorable mention but a salutatorian.But again isa siya sa mga nadisappoint ko.And just like that, she lectured me with things. Sobra na akong naiiyak pero pinigilan ko. Her lastwords were that she was very very disappointed in me. Umalis na ako na umiiyak, pumasok akong classroom na umiiyak, walang tao sa room dahil yung group ng cleaners for this week ayawna may pumapasok tuwing lunch sa classroom.Dun ako umiyak. Naramdaman ko nalang na may pumasok pero hindi ko inangat yung ulo ko. Itried not to make a sound nalang.A Little Help from Destiny49uknowulovemary"Mary?" Allen's voice called. Ramdam kong umupo siya sa upuan ni Riley "Mary?" tawag niya ulitwhile patting my back. "Ayos ka lang?" he asked and I shook my head. "Yaan mo makakabawika din." I shook my head again."Galit sa akin si Ms. Raquel." I said between my sobs."Hindi yun. At yaan mo siya nandito naman kami para sayo eh." he said and he tried to lift myhead pero I put pressure sa ulo ko still naangat niya, he weakly smiled before hugging me. "Sigelang iyak ka muna habang wala pang tao pero pag may pumasok na bawal ka ng umiyak ah.Hindi ko man mapapangako na magiging maayos din ang lahat, masasabi ko lang hindi mo nakailangan maging malungkot nandito kaming lahat, nandito ako."I stayed in Allen's arm for I don't know how many minutes, alam ko din na may pumasok na saclassroom at pinabayaan lang nila akong umiyak kay Allen. Lumapit na din sila Ella at sila Tony.Si Tony ginulo yung buhok ko "Tama na iyak lalo kang pumapanget eh." he teased."Tama na chansing kay Allen." sabi ni Tina.I laughed softly at pinunasan ni Ella yung mga luha ko.Kahit man nawala ako sa top, naramdaman ko yung pagiging close ko sa mga bago kongclassmates. Akala ko hindi na ako magiging close sa kanilang lahat pero eto silang lahat theywere comforting me. Sila Tony at Ran nasa may platform at nagpapatawa. Allen was my byside. Ella giving me tissues. And the others giving me encouraging looks.They were all my shoulders to lean on. And I'm so glad they're my classmates.Louie's BirthdayA Little Help from Destiny50uknowulovemaryToday would be Louie's birthday. Last year lang nandito pa siya at we celebrated his birthdaythrough the internet. Nasa Singapore kasi sila nung mga panahon na iyon. Siguro nung mgapanahon na iyon akala ko kaya sila nasa Singapore was to celebrate his birthday ayun palanasa Singapore sila kasi they were asking for options.On mid-August, Louie was diagnosed with brain aneurysm, hindi niya sinabi sa akin, sa amin,tinago nila ni Lani yung sikretong iyon. Walang nakakaalam na may sakit siya, tinago niya andhe was alone facing that illness, wala siyang mahahawakan dahil wala siyang pinagsabihan.I decided na pumunta kay Louie ngayon, I haven't visited him for quite some time now. Naunaako kahit sinabi nila Skye na sasamahan nila ako today. Pero ayoko dahil gusto ko ako lang, it'smy day with Louie. Mine alone.Naglakad na ako papunta kay Louie, I brought his favorite snacks and a bouquet of white lilies,umupo na ako sa grass and placed the bouquet sa may headstone. I read the epitaph."Music, when soft voices die, vibrates in the memory." - Percy ShelleyYour love will light my way, your memory will ever be with me.In loving memory of Louie Francisco SalazarSeptember 26, 1994 - November 6, 2009"Happy birthday Louie." I greeted him and smiling brightly dahil alam kong gusto niya nanakangiti ako pag binati ko siya. "Happy birthday." I said again.I opened the box of doughnuts and placed one piece na may candle sa isang paper plate,nilagay ko ito sa may lapag lang while I opened the cup of coffee. "Ayan. Sabi mo dati ayawmo ng cake." I said. "Sabi mo sa next mong birthday dapat may doughnut kasi nakalimutannamin nila Cass yung doughnut. So eto may doughnut na." I said as I let my tears fall. "Ayan namay doughnut na pwede bang bumalik na ka na?" I cried.Hinayaan ko lang yung sarili kong umiyak ngayon, sobra ko kasing namimiss si Louie. Sobra sobrana misan naiisip ko kung tama bang maging masaya ako habang wala naman siya sa tabi ko.A Little Help from Destiny51uknowulovemaryI stayed there for a while, nakaupo lang ako dun at nakatingin sa puntod niya. I talked to him,nagkwento lang ako ng mga bagay sa kanya.Kinuha ko naman yung isa sa mga journals niya and read it aloud.September 26, 2009Can I just have one wish? Just one. I don't want to die. I don't want to leave her alone, Imade a promise to her and I can't break that promise because if I would, she would always believethat promises are meant to be broken. I can't let her believe those words because it isn't meant to bebroken. I can't leave her when I know it would hurt her so much. One wish. Just one. It's mybirthday so can I just have one wish? Can you still give me my one wish? I know I'm meant to die,I know it's inevitable so my one wish would be about her, can you promise me she'll be happy? That's allI wish, her happiness, don't take it away from her.When Louie died, binigay sa akin ni Lani yung ibang mga gamit ni Louie na gusto daw ni Louiena mapunta sa akin. And that included his journals. Gabi gabi noon binabasa ko lahat ngnakasulat sa journal niya kasi dun niya sinusulat yung mga hinanakit niya, yung paghihirap niya.Dun nakasulat kung gaano niya gustong sabihin sa akin pero hindi niya magawa dahil alamniyang hindi ko matatanggap yun. Na sobra akong masasaktan.October 10, 2009It's Mary's birthday, I gave her a journal, I wanted her to write everything she's feeling intothat journal so that even if I will soon leave her, she would feel I'm still beside her and listening toeverything she has to say. Today I threw her a surprise party because I don't know if I could still behere during her next birthday, I wanted her to celebrate it with me and I badly wanted to tell hereverything. I just wanted to tell her so that I don't need to make up lies in front of her. But howcan I even think of telling her during her birthday? How could I think about myself and not her? Ican't ever tell her because I know her so much. I know her so much that I'm so afraid of leaving heralone.A Little Help from Destiny52uknowulovemaryMay magbabago kaya kung sinabi sa akin ni Louie? Ayan lagi kong tanong sa sarili ko maymagbabago ba? Siguro wala pero alam ko gagaan ang loob niya. Kasi hindi na siya nag-iisa.Pero hindi ko nalaman. Hindi ko man nahulaan na may sakit siya.Diba dapat pag best friend mo alam mo kung anong meron sa isang tingin pero ako hindi koman nalaman, siguro nga magaling magtago si Louie still dapat alam ko yun, yung simplengsakit ng ulo dapat hindi ko binalewala dati.Siguro mga hapon na nung dumating sila Lani, niyakap ako ni Lani at ganun din sila, nag grouphug kami and umupo na din sila, kulang lang sa amin ngayon si Phat. Nagbonding kami saharap ni Louie, and we all talked about old times.How silly we were. How lucky we were to have Louie as our friend.We all said goodbye to Louie at nagpasya ng umuwi, we decided to have a sleepover at Lani'splace. Kaya ayun we went there kasabay ko si Lani sa kotse ko dahil bago lang si Manong Rodat hindi pa niya alam yung place nila Lani at ako naman nahihirapan mag explain pagdirections na."Kamusta na si Kim?" Lani asked."Busy sa school." I said."Won't you ever give him a chance?" nagulat ako sa sinabi ni Lani."I chose him didn't I?" I said."Pero hindi mo naman siya hinahayaan na magkalugar diyan sa puso mo." Lani said. "Puro siLouie nalang. Hindi ko naman sinasabi na kalimutan mo na yung kakambal ko, kahit kailanhindi ko hihilingin sayo iyon pero sana Mary wag mong kalimutan na pwede pang buksan yangpuso mo." she said. Bakit ba niya to sinasabi ngayon? Hindi ko din siya maintindihanA Little Help from Destiny53uknowulovemary"Bakit mo to sinasabi Lani?" I asked her."Nakausap ko kasi si Phat nakausap daw niya si Kim at he asked her about Louie. Alam mo basa pagkukwento ni Phat, mararamdaman mo parin yung awa niya kay Kim dahil Kim said nasobra siyang nahihirapan makipagkompetensya kay Louie." She said."Ayoko naman na masaktan si Kim eh kaya nga haggang ngayon hindi ko pa siya sinasagot eh.Dahil ayokong masaktan siya.""Ayun lang ba talaga ang reason mo Mary? Na kaya ayaw mo dahil masasaktan mo siya omay iba pa?" She asked.At dun naalala ko yung paguusap namin dati ni Cyril about Kim."Bakit haggang ngayon hindi mo pa siya sinasagot kung siya na pala yung perfect boyfriendmaterial?" Cyril asked me.He knew the answer, pero mas gusto niyang sabihin ko ito, na lalabas ito galing sa bibig ko.Hindi man ako umarte na nag-iisip pa ng sagot dahil mabilis ko siyang sinagot. "Because he's notLouie." Na kahit gaano kaperpekto ni Kim kung hindi naman siya si Louie ano pang saysay?It will always be Louie."It would always be your twin Lani." I answered her. "Kahit anong gawin ko Lani, si Louie lang atatalaga kayang mahalin nitong puso na to eh. Hindi ko alam Lani pero si Louie lang talaga.Mahal ko si Kim bilang kaibigan haggang dun lang yun. Siguro in time makakaya ko na.""Mary buksan mo kasi yang puso mo. Hindi lang si Louie yung lalaki na pwedeng magmahalsayo. Na pwede mong mahalin. Don't be stuck with the past and don't close your heart to everypossibilities." Lani said as she held my hand and squeezed it. "Open you heart for Kim. Hindimagagalit si Louie kung susubukan mo."A Little Help from Destiny54uknowulovemaryNakarating na kami sa bahay nila, and they decided na sila ang magluluto habang ako aynagpunta sa kwarto ni Louie, hindi nila binago yung kwarto, hinayaan lang ni Tita na ganito to,same as before.Parang ako lang si Tita eh, ayaw mawala yung kung ano pang natitira kay Louie, parehaskaming hindi kayang mag let go. Tito and Lani wanted this room to be cleared, to put all ofLouie's things in storage pero Tita protested and so did I. Alam kong wala akong karapatan magprotesta dahil hindi ako kamag-anak pero hindi ko kaya.Nanalo kami ni Tita at hinayaan nila na magstay yung kwarto ni Louie as is. Walang pagbabago,even the things at his desk walang nakielam, nililinis pero kahit kailan hindi ginalaw at inaba ngpwesto yung mga gamit.Sa kwarto ni Louie, I can find peace, dito kasi ramdam ko parin siya. Kaya dati lagi akongpumupunta dito para lang gumaan yung loob ko. Ramdam na ramdam ko si Louie dito. Nasafe ako dito.I went to his desk, sat on the chair, and took his journal out, yung last journal niya. Madami pangblank pages dun kaya I decided to write. It won't be my first time writing in it dahil yung una, ayyung nagrereklamo ako sa kanya, yung nagagalit ako sa kanya kasi inawan niya ako.This would be my second time.Dear Louie,Happy birthday. Hindi ko alam kung ano bang dapat kong sabihin, kasi baka naririndi ka na pagsinabi ko ulit na miss na miss na kita. Baka ayaw mo ng marinig yun. But I do miss you so much. Sabi niLani, buksan ko daw yung puso ko pero paano ko magagawa yun Louie? Paano ko bubuksan yung puso kokung wala naman sa akin yung susi? Kasi nung nawala ka dinala mo ata pati yung susi eh. Louie gustokong bigyan ng pagkakataon si Kim kasi diba simula nung nawala ka nandito na siya para sa akin? Perobakit haggang ngayon Louie ay hindi ko parin kaya? I did choose him over Ash and I let Ash go. Peroakala ko pag pinakawalan ko na si Ash, pwede na si Kim mali pala ako Louie kasi nung nawala si Ash lalo A Little Help from Destiny55uknowulovemarykong hindi mabuksan yung puso ko kay Kim. Louie I have something to confess sana ah wag kangmagagalit sa akin, sana wag mong isipin na napakasama kong tao pero Louie siguro nga masama ako kasiLouie may isang tao ngayon sa buhay ko na mas gusto kong bigyan ng puwang kaysa kay Kim. Masamaba ako Louie kasi kay Kim na nandiyan para sa akin ay may lumamang pa. Pero hayaan mo Louie kasikahit ano man ang mangyari, ikaw lang ang mamahalin ko wala ng iba. Ikaw lang dahil ako lang namanang minahal mo diba. So para fair parin tayo. I miss you so much Louie. Ayokong maging unfair kay KimLouie kaya siguro dapat siya yung pagtuunan ko ng pansin kaysa dun sa isa diba? Kasi kung ibabalik moyung susi sa akin, dapat kay Kim ko unang buksan yung puso ko diba? Pero hindi ko sinasabi na bigay mosa akin yung susi Louie, ayoko. Natatakot ako Louie kaya wag na wag mong ibabalik yan dahil hindi kokukunin. I won't let you return it to me because I won't ever let you go. I can't.Loving you,Mary.My BirthdayI celebrated my birthday early with my high school friends dahil weekend natapat yung birthdayko. I held a small intimate gathering for them Saturday. I had fun with them. And when mybirthday approached Kim called at midnight dito sa Philippines to greet me. I haven't beenhonest with him these past few weeks. But still I was thankful he didn't mind my distance.I celebrated my day with my childhood friends during the day, sympre nauna kong pinuntahansi Louie bago ko sila sinundo for brunch and movies. It wasn't the same as before atnakakapanibago lang kasi nung nandito pa si Louie, he would be the first person to ever greetme.I remembered last year, siya talaga ang unang bumati sa akin dahil he sneaked in at our houseand to my room, he brought the red velvet cupcake that I loved with him. Siguro kaya yungnagawa ni Louie dahil alam niya the next year he wouldn't be here anymore to greet me.A Little Help from Destiny56uknowulovemaryHe even threw me the party, napakasaya ko nung last year kong birthday pero ngayon wala,kulang na kulang, sure madaming bumati sa akin at madaming regalo. Pero kulang kasi walayung nag-iisang tao na gusto kong marinig yung boses na binabati ako. Wala na yung lalakingbabati sa akin with a smile plastered on his face.I'm being dramatic pero since his birthday I felt so lonely. So alone again. Hindi ko alam kungbakit ko nararamdaman yun lalo na ngayon. Pero I do feel so lonely. Miss na miss ko na talaga siLouie.We had a family dinner at Inter-Continental for my birthday, it was always like that. My birthdaywould end with the dinner.The next day, pumasok lang ako na parang hindi nangyari yung birthday ko, there was nothingspecial except Kim's constant calls during the dinner and his constant