A FORUM ABOUT SELF-CONFIDENCE

Chairperson : Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I am Alip the chairperson

for today’s forum. First of  all, I would like to thank all of the audience in front

of me. Thank you very much for attending the forum for today. Our issue for

today is “self-confidence”. First of all, I would like to introduce our panels for

today. Right on my left is consultant clinical psychologist, Dr. Nurshasha

Fazeera,she is from University Malaya,has studied 12 years in health care and

consultation, caunselor,Dr.Amira Shafiqah who is graduated from UITM and

has studied psychology for 10 years ,mental health experts, Dr. Nurizzatul

Laili who is also graduated at UITM and has studied psychology for 11 years

& motivational and inspirational speaker Dr. Sarah Liyana who has conducted

over 50 motivation seminars. They will be sharing their opinion on self

confidence

Chairperson: Alright Dr.Amira, first lets talk about what is self-confidence ?

Dr Amira: Thank you chairperson. Assalamualaikum w.b.t and a very good

evening to all the panellist and the audience. I’m so glad to be one of the

guests here. Self-confidence is an attitude which allows individuals to have

positive yet realistic views of themselves and their situations. Self-confident

people trust their own abilities. They do not feel afraid to show their strength

and qualities to others. A person with self-confidence has a great personality.

Their confident personalities are likeable by everyone.

Chairperson : Interesting. Now Dr.Izzatul how can having a low confidence

affect someone?

Dr. Izzatul :Low confidence can lead to having anxious or depressed feelings.

They will regularly think negative thoughts about themselves and their abilities. Worst case

scenario is they will result to alcohol or drugs to make them feel better about themselves. A

person with low confidence will also have trouble making friends. They are too shy and to

speak up and interact. People will not pay attention to them and are not attracted to their

friend. I could relate to this because when I was still a student I have trouble making friends

because I did not have the guts to talk and joke around with my peers.

C h a i r p e r s o n : S o u n d s l i k e s e l f - c o n f i d e n c e i s e x t r e m e l y i m p o r t a n t i n

a l m o s t e v e r y a s p e c t o f o u r l i v e s , a n d p e o p l e w h o l a c k i t c a n f i n d i t

d i f f i c u l t t o l e a d a h a p p y l i f e . D r . S h a s h a , w h a t a r e y o u r t h o u g h t s

a b o u t w h a t c a u s e s a n i n d i v i d u a l t o h a v e l o w c o n f i d e n c e .

Dr.Shasha : I think early experience has a great effect on someone’s

confidence. For example physical, sexual, or emotional abuse from the past may

be the most striking causes of low self-confidence. When you are abused at an

early aged you will be traumatized and it will leave emotional scars that will

affect our behaviour and sometimes it will completely change us into a whole

new person. Society and media also plays a big part on our confidence

level. People in media are packaged and airbrushed into unrealistic levels

of beauty and thinness. I have a friend who is already skinny but she always

feels as if she is not skinny enough. She refuses to eat healthy and will only

eat one meal a day.Next,there is also, academic challenges. There’s nothing

like feeling stupid to create low self-esteem. You will doubt your own

intelligence, and feel terribly self-conscious about sharing your opinions. The

shame of feeling as if you aren't good enough will make have a low confidence

level. When I was studying, I have a friend, his name is Shafiq Sameer. He is

very confident to voice out his opinion during English lesson. That is because

everyone kept praising him for his language skills. Now because of this, it has

make some of us feel scared to give our opinion because we feel that we are

not good as him.

C h a i r p e r s o n : L o o k s l i k e a l o t o f s t u f f c a n u n i n t e n t i o n a l l y t r i g g e r

s o m e o n e t o h a v e a l o w s e l f - c o n f i d e n c e . M o v i n g o n t o D r . S a r a h c a n

y o u t e l l u s s o m e t i p s t o o v e r c o m e l o w s e l f - c o n f i d e n c e a n d h o w t o

s e e m m o r e c o n f i d e n t ?

D r . S a r a h : C o n f i d e n c e . Y o u e i t h e r g o t i t o r y o u d o n ’ t r i g h t ? W r o n g !

Y o u c a n a c h i e v e c o n f i d e n c e w i t h s o m e v e r y s i m p l e m e t h o d . F i r s t o f

a l l , y o u n e e d t o a c c e p t y o u r s e l f h o w e v e r y o u a r e a t t h i s m o m e n t , a n d

t h a t m e a n s p h y s i c a l l y a n d m e n t a l l y . P h y s i c a l l y , s o m e o f u s a r e

b l e s s e d w i t h g o o d l o o k s . S o m e o f u s h a v e s h a r p e r m i n d s t h a n o u r

p e e r s , a n d t h a t ' s p e r f e c t l y f i n e . W h o e v e r y o u a r e a n d h o w e v e r y o u

a r e , t h e r e w i l l a l w a y s b e s o m e t h i n g i n y o u t h a t n o b o d y , a b s o l u t e l y

n o b o d y e l s e w i l l h a v e . A l l y o u h a v e t o d o i s t o f i n d o u t w h a t i t i s

a n d p r o c e e d t o w o r k o n i m p r o v i n g i t . N o w t h e s e c o n d p a r t , a n d t h e

m o s t a w k w a r d p a r t i s c h a n g i n g y o u r b o d y l a n g u a g e . W h i c h m e a n s n o

h a n d i n p o c k e t , n o w a n d e r i n g c r a z y e y e s , n o f i d g e t i n g a n d s t a n d u p

s t r a i g h t . F u r t h e r m o r e , w h e n y o u g e t t h e c h a n c e n e v e r f a i l t o h e l p

o t h e r s . Y o u w i l l s t a r t t o f e e l g o o d a b o u t y o u r s e l f , a n d w i l l f e e l t h a t

y o u a r e a g o o d p e r s o n . I t d o e s w o n d e r s f o r y o u r s e l f - c o n f i d e n c e ,

b e l i e v e m e . S a y h i t o s t r a n g e r s . T a l k t o p e o p l e i n l i n e . I t ’ s s o

s i m p l e b u t t h e m o r e y o u d o t h i s t h e m o r e y o u r e a l i z e y o u h a v e

n o t h i n g t o b e a f r a i d o f . F i n a l l y , w h e n y o u t a l k , s l o w d o w n . W h e n w e

g e t e x c i t e d a n d w h e n w e a r e p e r f o r m i n g o u r v o i c e t e n d s t o g o h i g h e r

a n d f a s t e r w h i c h i s i n t e r p r e t e d a s n e r v e s . W h e n y o u s e e c o n f i d e n t

p e o p l e , t h e y w a l k , t h e y t a l k & t h e y a c t l i k e t h e y h a v e a l l t h e t i m e i n

t h e w o r l d . A n d t h e r e i s p o w e r i n t a k i n g y o u r t i m e .

A m i r a : C a n I a d d s o m e t h i n g ? L i k e D r . S a r a h m e n t i o n e d b o d y

l a n g u a g e i s r e a l l y i m p o r t a n t . T h i s a l s o m e a n s p o s t u r e . P e o p l e w i t h

s l u m p e d s h o u l d e r d i s p l a y a l a c k o f s e l f - c o n f i d e n c e . B y p r a c t i c i n g

g o o d p o s t u r e , y o u ’ l l a u t o m a t i c a l l y f e e l m o r e c o n f i d e n t . D r . S h a s h a

c a n y o u d e m o n s t r a t e b a d p o s t u r e ? A s y o u c a n s e e h e r e , D r . S h a s h a i s

s l u m p i n g h e r s h o u l d e r s a n d i s g i v i n g a n e g a t i v e v i b e . T h e p r o p e r

w a y i s t o s t a n d u p s t r a i g h t , k e e p y o u r h e a d u p , a n d m a k e e y e

c o n t a c t . Y o u ’ l l m a k e a p o s i t i v e i m p r e s s i o n o n o t h e r s a n d i n s t a n t l y

f e e l m o r e a l e r t a n d e m p o w e r e d .

Dr. Izzatul : Not only that, I think your appearance, the clothes you wear is a

great way to jumpstart your confidence. Dr. Shasha, why don’t you try your

new style. Here, let me help you. As you can see, having a new look, wearing a

beautiful necklace, a bright coloured scarf can instantly make you feel more

confident. Even when you’re stressed, the perfect outfit can kick away most of

your nerves & boost confidence. Next, eye contact. It’s incredibly

uncomfortable but it can be a lot of fun. Challenge yourself every time you and

a stranger make eye contact. Force yourself not to be the one who looks away

first. Also smile!

Dr. Shasha : You’re right! I feel like I exude confidence by upgrading my

appearance!

Chairperson : Can any of you show us an example that can happen in real life

that requires confidence?

Dr.Shasha : We would like to act out a situation where self confidence is

important. This situation is about two individuals during a job interview.

-Short sketch-

Dr.Sarah: From this sketch we can see that Shasha is a confident candidate

while Elly is not confident at all, she has bad posture, she is afraid to speak up

and is not confident of her ability.

Chairperson : Panel? What can you conclude to sum it all up?

Dr.Amira: I would like to conclude that by having confidence you will do well

in life. People with self confidence are likeable by everyone and you will not

feel afraid to mingle with everyone and show your abilities.

Dr.Izzatul :I conclude that,confidence is something you need to work for and it

does not come easy. You can’t do drugs and expect to achieve confidence

overnight. Face your fears and start talking to people and build up your self

confidence.

D r . S a r a h : I c o n c l u d e t h a t , t h e r e i s n o b i g s e c r e t t o a c h i e v i n g

c o n f i d e n c e . Y o u ’ v e g o t t o t r i c k y o u r s e l f , f a k e i t u n t i l y o u ’ v e m a k e

i t . E v e n t u a l l y , y o u ’ l l s t a r t b e l i e v i n g y o u r o w n l i e . T h e r e a r e a c t u a l

s t e p s y o u c o u l d t a k e t o g e t t h e r e . I t ’ s l i k e a n y o t h e r s k i l l s , y o u

p r a c t i c e y o u w o r k a t i t , a n d e v e n t u a l l y y o u ’ v e g o t t h e h a n g o f i t . N o

o n e k n o w s w h a t y o u ’ r e t h i n k i n g . I f y o u j u s t w a l k a n d t a l k a n d a c t

l i k e y o u a r e c o m f o r t a b l e i n y o u r o w n s k i n t h e r e s t o f u s w i l l b e l i e v e

i t & y o u ’ l l b e a b e t t e r p e r s o n f o r i t .

Chairperson: Thank you for the great tips everyone! Slowly, I’ve come to realize that self-

confidence has nothing to do with being extroverted or introverted. It comes from a place

much deeper, from within yourself. There are no quick fix solutions or magic pills that can

improve self-confidence overnight. If you work hard to improve yourself, no matter what the

situation is, you can permanently increase your confidence.

Chairperson: Before we close our forum does the audience have any questions for the panels

present?

-Q&A session-

Chairperson: That concludes our forum for today. Thank you to the audience for coming

and Assalamualaikum.