A Dead Good Idea

8/13/2019 A Dead Good Idea

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A DEAD GOOD IDEA

Written By

Anthony Hudson

This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the written consent of the author.

[email protected]


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FADE IN:

EXT. STREET - CEMETERY GATES - DAY

(NOTE: This scene is BLACK AND WHITE)

A large iron gate dissects a sandstone wall.

A WOMAN, (30) tatty 1920s dress and head scarf, rushes outof the cemetery. A look of sheer terror on her face.

EXT. CEMETERY - DAY


A Gothic church is surrounded by gravestones. One grave is

open with a fresh heap of dirt beside.A ZOMBIE, (50) his clothes dirty, groans and salivates ashe ambles along the path.

A GRAVE DIGGER, (45) trousers, waist coat and flat cap,stands a few feet away. He raises his shovel like a

weapon.

GRAVE DIGGERWell I never. Ive never seensuch a sight as this.

With its arms outstretched, the zombie lurches for thegrave digger. He swings the shovel and bashes the zombieto the ground.

A groan (O.S.)

GRAVE DIGGERWell have none of this tomfoolery round here. Now get backin your hole.

A second ZOMBIE, (30) suit and hat, grabs the grave digger

form behind and sinks its teeth into his flesh. The gravedigger screams in pain.

Another groan (O.S.)

Zombie and grave digger collapse to the ground in astruggle.

MALE VOICE (O.S.)Christ, Im knackered.

Both zombies now consume the grave digger.

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INT. BILLYS HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

The fixtures and fittings suggest wealth but the carpet isa mess with rubbish strewn everywhere.

A leather chair is pushed up close to a large televisionand a matching three seat sofa is pushed back against thefar wall.

Hidden between the empty cans and food packaging, at thefoot of the fireplace, are several family photographsshowing loving parents and two young boys.

TELEVISION

The two zombies continue to consume the grave digger.

LIVING ROOMBILLY SHERIDON, (21) slim and good looking, sits in thechair in only a pair of boxer shorts. With his eyesclosed, he reaches out with a remote control and turns offthe TV.

KITCHEN

Pots are piled high in the sink, the bin overflows and leftover food containers stands on the work tops.

Numerous unopened letters lie on the table. Some sayUrgent while others state Final Reminder .

Still in only his underwear, Billy enters. He rubs thesleep from his eyes as he opens a draw, looks in and shakeshis head with disappointment.

He spins on his heels and picks up a small clear plasticbag from the table. Its empty but for a flecks ofcannabis, so he tosses it back down with annoyance.

EXT. VILLAGE - STREET - DAYQuiet and picturesque.

A narrow footpath is sandwiched between the road and ahedge row. Chocolate box cottages sit in beautiful gardensbehind the foliage fence.

Billy puffs on a rolled cigarette as he trudges out of agarden and courteously closes the gate behind him. He

wears a cheap suit offset with grubby trainers.

A few feet further on he stops at a break in the hedge,drops the cigarette and extinguishes it under foot.

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EXT. AGATHAS HOUSE - DAY

Billy pushes through the gate and marches down the path.He hesitates at the door and takes a quick look round thedeserted street.

He knocks hard and loud, then nervously runs his fingersthrough his fringe.

The door opens and AGATHA HARE, (75) looks out. She wearsa flowery dress, brown stockings and large comedy slippers.Her grey hair sticks out everywhere as if being electrifiedbut now slowly begins to settle.

BILLYHello, Im from the gas board and

wonder if I could read your

meter?Agatha looks Billy up and down.

BILLYIt wont take a minute.

AGATHA I didnt know you worked for thegas board, Billy?

He immediately begins to fidget and averts his gaze to hisscruffy trainers.

BILLYErm...yeah, Ive just started.

AGATHA Finally got off your arse and gota job, eh?

BILLYYeah, finally.

A nervously laughs hides his embarrassment.

AGATHA I dont even know where the meteris, do you, love?

She steps aside and invites him in but Billy hesitates.

BILLYPerhaps I should come back whenyouve found it?

AGATHA Nonsense, youre here now. Youcan look for it.

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BILLYIts not under the stairs?

He squeezes past the stair lift and ascends.

BEDROOM

The dated decor continues. A large double bedroom isbetween two bedside tables.

Billy enters and quickly rummages through the draws in avanity unit.

A mumble (O.S.)

Billy looks up into the mirror at the reflection of thedoor but it is unmoved.

He turns his attention to a cigar box and lifts the lid.His eyes light up with excitement.

UPSTAIRS LANDING

Billy exits the bedroom and stuffs a large bundle of cashinto his pocket. The wry smile wilts as he notices thestair lift now parked at the top with Agatha seated in it.She tuts her disapproval.

AGATHA Billy, what would your mothersay?

Billy shrugs.

BILLYLet me out, its dark in here?

Agatha mouths an O of shock.

AGATHA Billy!

BILLYSorry.

He looks down ashamed. Agatha shakes her head.

AGATHA Im sorry too. I never shouldhave mentioned your mother.

Billy glances up and their eyes meet. They smile.

AGATHA Your teas getting cold.

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She presses a button and the chair descends.

AGATHA Put the money back though, love.

Billy nods with regret and enters the bedroom.

LIVING ROOM

In the corner a large TV stands on a table too small forit. Bright white sheets half cover the two sofas floraldesign. Agatha sits on one, Billy on the other with acoffee table between.

Agatha slurps her tea while Billy stares into his forforgiveness.

BILLYAre you going to call the cops?

He takes a nervous swig and repels at the taste.

Agatha clatters down her cup on its saucer.

AGATHA Of course not, what would your

mother think of me? I remember when you were yay high.

She hovers her hand about a two feet from the carpet.

AGATHA Lovely woman your mother, did myshopping every week, withoutfail, come rain or shine. Andshe never forgot my gin.

She smiles. Billy looks into his cup.

AGATHA No, the police would only slapyou on the wrists anyway. Not

like in my day, when youd havebeen strung up.

BILLYThanks, I never knew my mumcalled here? I mean, I knew shehelped some of the olddears...er, old...folk, but not

which ones.

AGATHA Am I right in thnking you dont

work for the gas board?

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Billy nods.

AGATHA Money tight, is it?

A shrugs this time.

AGATHA Shouldnt puff it all away, Billylove.

He looks bemused at her knowledge.

AGATHA Everyone knows everyonesbusiness in a small village likethis. Always have.

She drains her cup.AGATHA

More tea?

Slowly she stands, cup in hand, and shuffles off toward thedoor. Her hair embarks skyward again.

BILLYYeah, go on then.

Agatha exits as Billy finishes his tea.

BILLY(to himself)

I think the gas board jobs over.

KITCHEN

Old units and flowery tiles.

Agatha fills the kettle and flicks the switch.

AGATHA

(shouts)I could help you out with some money, Billy.

She drops a tea bag in her cup.

BILLY (O.S.)(shouts)

What?

AGATHA (shouts)

No handouts. I could get you todo some jobs for me.

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Billy enters behind Agatha.

BILLYLike what?

She jumps with fright.

AGATHA Oh, Billy love, you startled me.Dont creep around like the deador Ill be next.

She clutches her heart for effect and smiles.

AGATHA Bring your cup, Im not dirtyinganother.

He hands it over.AGATHA

The fronts good but the backneeds a tidy.

She nods toward the back door and Billy gets the hint. Heslips to take a look.

EXT. AGATHAS HOUSE - BACK GARDEN - DAY

A small patio area is clean and tidy. Beyond a small wallis mish-mash of bushes and weeds.

Open mouthed, Billy stares at the wilderness.

BILLYIts a bit overgrown.

INT. AGATHAS HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY

Agatha scoops the tea bags from the cups and slips a largebottle of gin from the cupboard and tops up both drinks.

She returns the bottle as Billy enters.

AGATHA What was that, Billy love?

BILLYI said, its a bit overgrown. Alot of work I reckon?

She hands Billy his tea with a nod.

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AGATHA Oh yes, plenty of work for youout there. Should keep you busyfor a day or two?

Billys turn to nod agreement, as he cautiously sips histea.

BILLYLovely cuppa...er?

AGATHA Agatha, love. You can starttomorrow. There will be tea andbiscuits and Ill even do you asandwich.

Billy shrugs.

BILLYMight as well, bugger all else todo.

INT. BILLYS HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

JASON SHERIDON, (27) smart suit, clean shaven with styledhair stands by the sink. He picks up a random dirty plateand tips it upside down but the food fails to fall off. Hedrops it back into the sink and glances at his watch.

JASONWhere is he, its gone seven?

KYLIE HARDEN, (27) business wear, tall and slender, sits atthe kitchen table.

KYLIEHave you tried his mobile?

JASONHes not answering.

KYLIEHell be here, dont panic.

Jason sits down opposite Kylie.

JASONHes bloody useless.

Kylie grips his hand across the table.

KYLIEDont be so hard on him, Jason.

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The humour drains from Jason and replaced by annoyance.Billy counters with a wry smile and takes a slurp from hiscup. He burns his mouth and waves his hand to cool histhrobbing tongue.

BILLYJesus, thats hot!

JASONNo shit, Sherlock. Whos this

work for anyway?

BILLYSome old dear mum use to helpout. Er...Agatha, I think?

JASONAgatha Afro! Shes crazy.

KYLIEJason!

JASONSorry.

BILLYYeah, dont be a dickhead,Donovan.

The brothers stare at one another, neither wants to blink.Jason relents first.

BILLYHa, I win. Same time next week,kidda?

He stands triumphant.

BILLYYou can see yourself out.

He turns to Kylie.

BILLYNice to see you, Kylie. I betMinogue didnt have to put up

with a prick like him?

They share a quick smile as Billy exits.

JASONGod, he does my head in. Hestwenty one and acts like hestwelve. He thinks about no onebut himself. He needs to grow upand...

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KYLIEMove on?

Stopped in his tracks, Jason takes a moment.

KYLIEThink about it, honey, you had me, who did he have?

JASONI know what hes got.

KYLIEJust give him some time.

Jason reluctantly nods and takes a drink.

BILLY (O.S.)

Are you going or what?

INT. DEGSEYS FLAT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Cluttered but clean. Rows and rows of film dvds line the walls and a huge TV takes pride of place.

BRYAN DEGSEY JOHNSON, (21) pale white skin and stickthin, slouches on a leather sofa. In a polo shirt andshorts and with a rolled cigarette perched between hislips, he watches a movie.

The door bell chimes.

Frustrated, he sighs loudly, reaches for the remote and mutes the TV. The cigarette jerks as he speaks.

DEGSEY(shouts)

Who is it, man?

A muffled response.

Degsey removes his cigarette.

DEGSEY(shouts)

I aint hearing you?

Another muffled response.

DEGSEYWhat is you deaf? I ainthearing you!

He pulls a mobile phone from his pocket and dials.

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DEGSEYWhat up, Jaffa. You at my door?

He nods.

DEGSEYOkay, man. Keep it real.

He ends the call and dials another number.

The door bell chimes again.

DEGSEYWhat up, Clemmo. You at my door?

Nods.

DEGSEY

Okay, man, later...what, nah, Iis good for now, bro. This lastbatch is top draw, proper strongshit.

Nods again.

DEGSEYYeah, for real, later.

He ends the call.

A loud thump on the door.

DEGSEYGot me a fucking retard here.

Reluctantly he stands and brushes the loose tobacco fromhis shorts. Satisfied he exits.

HALL

Degsey stands at a front door that is protected by a largedead bolt and numerous other locks.

DEGSEYStop wasting my lectric, man. Iis proper busy and I dont opento no strangers, do I.

He sucks deep on his cigarette.

BILLY (O.S.)Its me, Degsey.

A shake of the head.

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DEGSEYIm Degsey, fool. You is aretard.

BILLY (O.S.)Its Billy.

He unlocks the door and swings it open.

Billy leans against the frame and beams a smile.

DEGSEYI is already told you, man, no

money, no gear. Friend or not.

BILLYI know but I could really do witha puff, been a shit night.

Degsey looks at his wrist but theres no watch.

DEGSEYI is missing my shit for this.

He stands aside.

BILLYIm not stopping you.

Billy walks past.

LIVING ROOM

Billy sits himself on the sofa.

Degsey enters and gives Billy the once over.

DEGSEYThis is my crib, man, and youtreat it like yours.

Billy stares at the muted TV, ignoring Degsey.

BILLYI know, and its appreciated,

mate. Any beer going?

Degsey sits beside Billy and takes a drag on his cigarette.He exhales in Billys face as he speaks.

DEGSEYI aint no mother fucking shrinkbut if you is got bad with yourbro, you sort it with him.

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BILLYHow did you know it was mybrother?

DEGSEYI got sixth sense dont I. Youalways want puff after he bitchesyou.

Billy fidgets to get comfy.

BILLYHes a dick.

DEGSEYYou is like my best bro, man butI cant keep giving you my shiton no slate.

Billy nods agreement as Degsey takes a puff.

BILLYI know, I know but Ive got worktomorrow.

Degsey chokes in amazement.

DEGSEYFor real?

BILLYYeah. I got a gardening job.Ill sponge some money from theold dear, no probs. So if youjust tide me over.

Degsey thinks a moment. Billy beams a smile at him.

DEGSEYBest drop the flow off tomorrowthough? Need my accounts right,dont I.

Billy smirks and makes a crosses over his heart.BILLY

Cross my heart.

DEGSEYIll see what I can rustle.

He stands and exits.

Billy looks round the room and spots an interesting film onthe shelf. He stands and pulls it from the collection. Aquick look round and he stuffs it in his waistband,concealing it beneath his T-shirt.

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Degsey enters and notices Billy standing by the films. Hegives him a suspicious look. Finally, he hands over asmall bag of purple grass.

BILLYWhats this?

DEGSEYGood shit, aint it.

BILLYBut its fucking purple.

DEGSEYAye, get with the times, bro.Green was yesterday, purple isthe future, man.

Billy doesnt look convinced.BILLY

What you on about? Is it evengrass?

DEGSEYWhat you saying, I is rippingyou? This is new, been tested on

monkeys and shit, aint it.

Billy opens the bag and sniffs.

BILLYHave you tried it?

Degsey looks at his cigarette and nods, but his eyes saydifferent.

DEGSEYTrust me, bro, not like you isgonna be craving bananas ornothing.

He smiles reassurance at Billy.

BILLYThatll be a no then.

DEGSEYWhat! Is you calling me a liar?

BILLYYes, and can you talk proper,

mate. This gangster shit isgetting boring now?

Degsey looks insulted.

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DEGSEYI is talking proper.

BILLYYoure from Little Woolsey.Youre parents are as toff asthey come.

DEGSEYThey aint my real parents, I isadopted, bro.

BILLYWhatever, mate.

Billy stuffs the bags in his pocket.

A toilet flushes and catches Billys attention.

BILLYWhos that?

Degsey sits and un-mutes the television.

DEGSEYDebs.

Billys face lights up with excitement.

BILLYYour sister?

Degsey flashes a stare at Billy.

DEGSEYYou is had your turn, there is nosecond helpings.

BILLYI know, I know.

DEBORAH DEBS JOHNSON , (19) enters. She wears tightjeans and a skinny top, with long dark hair and ample

bosom.BILLY

Hi, Debs.

She looks a little startled to see him.

DEBSHi.

DEGSEYYou is just leaving, aint you?

Billy nods.

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BILLYYeah, but Ill see you tomorrow.

He looks at Debs and smiles.

BILLYHopefully.

His smile wilts when he notices the anger in Degseys face.

DEGSEYYou is better show with my flow.

Billy looks befuddled by Degseys reply. He shakes hishead and exits. The room is silent until the front doorslams.

DEGSEY

Go lock the door, bitch!Debs gives him the evils.

DEBSDont call me a bitch, and stoptalking like a fucking idiot!

Degsey sinks into the sofa and stares at the screen.

DEGSEYI aint sorry is I.

She shakes her head.

DEBSDidnt know you still hung around

with Billy?

DEGSEYAye, he keeps my pockets full,dont he. Well, he use to.Reckon hes blown his inheritanceby now though.

With a somber look, Debs sits beside her brother.DEBS

Ive not seen him since youreighteenth. Hes still got thehouse hasnt he?

Degsey spots a gap in his dvd collection and his mind wanders.

DEGSEYMaybe.

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21/100

DEBSWhat do you mean, maybe?

He looks up at Debs.

DEGSEYDoor first, bitch.

He waves his hand.

DEGSEYOr you can try and smooth yourshit with the parents, cant you?

DEBSIm going.

She exits with a sigh.

DEGSEYI is missed my shit now.

INT. BILLYS HOUSE - BILLYS BEDROOM - DAY

Posters of football teams and scantily glad women adorn the walls.

Billy lies on the bed, the covers on the floor. He stirs,scratches at his red underpants and pulls them from betweenhis buttocks.

He rolls and hangs his head over the edge of the bed.Groans and drools.

KITCHEN

Billy staggers in and rubs the sleep from his eyes.Wearing an old paint stained tracksuit and work boots, heopens a draw and rummages inside.

BILLY

Bugger.He exits.

EXT. BILLYS HOUSE - DAY

Large houses with well groomed gardens make up the cul-de-sac.

Billy exits his residence and quickly walks down thedriveway.

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EXT. STREET - TONYS HOUSE - DAY

Smaller houses sandwich the road, all well kept and inkeeping with rest of the village.

A front door opens and HENRY ELLIS, (60) suited, stormsout. He slams the door behind him and marches down thefront steps.

The door opens again and TONY ELLIS, (35) dressing gown,slippers and a cigarette between his lips, exits. SALLYELLIS, (33) similar dress, follows.

TONYDad, come back.

Henry stops but doesnt look back.

SALLYKeep walking, Henry, you

miserable old get!

Henry walks away. Tony turns to his wife.

TONYSally!

Tony stops at the gate and watches Henry stride away.

TONYDad, seriously, stop.

He looks up and down the street and sees its empty.Reluctantly he jogs after his dad. His dressing gown flapsin the breeze and he wheezes as he gives chase.

Sally stops at the gate and with no conviction shouts.

SALLYHoney, come back here.

She immediately turns and heads back inside.

INT. CORNER SHOP - DAY

Small, cramped and isles stocked with everything.

RASHEED YEKIN, (30) tall and gaunt, looks up into asecurity mirror. It reflects Billy down one of the aislesas he flicks through a magazine.

TONY (O.S.)Dad, for Gods sake, wait.

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Rasheed glances to the open shop door but when he looksback to the mirror, Billy has gone. He arches his neck tolocate him down a different isle.

BILLYI put it back, dont fret.

Billy emerges with a handful of stuff and plonks them onthe counter. Two cans of Coke, two chocolate bars and twobags of crisps.

RASHEEDIs that it?

BILLYNo. Ill have a bag of backieand some papers please.

Quick as a flash, Rasheed snatches the objects and addsthem to others.

RASHEEDDone?

BILLYAye.

Rasheed bags the items.

RASHEEDNine eighty five.

BILLYHow much!

Billy smashes a handful of coins on the counter. Theyspiral everywhere.

BILLYTheres a tenner there. Keep thechange, Rasher.

He exits.

Rasheed scoops the coins from the counter.

RASHEEDIts Rasheed, moron.

EXT. CORNER SHOP - DAY

Billy walks a few feet and stops. He ferrets his hand downhis trouser leg and pulls a magazine out. A broad gringrows across his face.

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A quick look back to the shop to check hes successfullystolen it, and he walks away.

EXT. STREET CROSSING - DAY

Henry and Tony stand at the road side beside a zebracrossing.

TONYJust listen...

He searches for the words and puffs on his cigarette.

HENRYIm listening, son.

A car stops at the crossing. The DRIVER looks at the two

men on the pavement, anticipating they will cross.TONY

What Sally said, she didnt meanit.

Henry laughs.

HENRYOh, she meant every word. Justbecause I didnt get her a card,Im a miserable bastard.

TONYIts not just that, dad.

Henry presses his hands on his hips, awaiting moreinformation.

The car driver waves his hand in aggravation and drivesoff.

HENRYNot just that? What else have Idone thats so bad?

Tony rubs life into his bed hair and hesitates hisresponse.

Billy flicks through the magazine as he approaches.

TONYDad, you came to stay a fewnights and...

HENRYSo I stayed a bit longer.

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Billy stops beside Henry and Tony. He looks left andright. No traffic.

TONYIts been six months!

Startled at the outburst, Billy takes a step back.

HENRYIm your father. Can I not comevisit?

Henry throws up his arms in frustration.

HENRYAnd the fags will kill you oneday, they did your mother.

He steps onto the crossing. Tyres screech and a busploughs into him.

Tony stands opened mouthed in shock. His face drained ofall colour. Billy mirrors his expression.

BILLYHoly fuck! Did you see that?

Tony slowly nods.

INT. AGATHAS HOUSE - HALL - DAY

Agatha shuffles away from the open door. Her hair sticksout again.

AGATHA Youre late, Billy. Not a goodstart, is it?

Billy enters with his shopping bag.

BILLYIve a good reason, Agatha.

She enters the kitchen.

AGATHA (O.S.)Good, because your teas cold.

Still visibly shocked, Billy closes the front door.

KITCHEN

Agatha stands by the boiling kettle as Billy enters.

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Billy looks out across the wilderness. A spade stands bythe house.

BILLYWho the fuck is Stevens?

He puts down his carrier bag and cup on a small wall. Hepuff his cheeks for motivation and grabs the spade.

LATER

Shirtless, Billy digs and hacks at the undergrowth. Acigarette hangs from his lips.

He forces the spade into the base of a bush. He tugs atthe base and uproots it. Beneath is a wooden gravestone.

BILLYWhat the hell?

He removes dirt and weeds and squints at the faded carvedtext.

AGATHA (O.S.)Oh, Id forgotten about that.

Startled, Billy looks up to see Agatha standing with a trayof sandwiches and a steaming cup of tea.

BILLYWhat is it?

He saunters toward her and steps over the wall.

BILLYIts not your husband is it?

Agatha chuckles as Billy takes the tray from her.

AGATHA Dont be daft, Billy, love.Franks over there.

She points to an old oil drum that hides under a rose bush.With a smile, she winks with a suggestion shes not joking.

Billy lets out a nervous laugh as he places the tray down.He starts to make a rolled cigarette.

AGATHA Thats something I havent seenin a long time. Something myfather made for the dog.

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28/100

Agatha takes an age to sit on the wall. Out of her sight,Billy takes out the bag of purple weed and adds some to histobacco.

AGATHA Thats me here for the afternoonnow. Dont forget your tea,love.

BILLYHave you lived here all your lifethen?

AGATHA I have, dear, a whole lifetime.

With his cigarette between his lips, Billy takes his tea.He blows the steam clear and takes a gulp but immediately

recoils from the taste.AGATHA

Made it good and strong for youtoday.

He exhales the alcoholic fumes with a splutter.

Agatha looks round her garden and her eyes settle on the wooden gravestone.

AGATHA My father was a strange one, so

my mother said. Hated the dogbut made that thing when it died.It was the only thing I rememberhim doing that didnt upset my

mother.

Billy leans back and takes a long slow drag. His eyes toosettle on the wooden gravestone.

AGATHA You see, love, he was a waste ofskin, as my mother would say. A

bit like you, Billy love, nooffense.

Another slow inhale of tobacco and weed. His eyes heavy,flicker and close.

AGATHA He came home one night, havingspent the afternoon in the pub,and claimed to have come acrossan opportunity to make a lot of

money.

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29/100

Billys posture visibly relaxes as he expels smoke from hisnostrils.

DREAM SEQUENCE.


Billy lies beside the wooden gravestone. The spade isstuck in the ground beside him.

AGATHA (V.O.)Hed been told the story of thecurse of the Roseberry witch.

Billy stirs and sits up. He rubs life into his hair andeyes.

AGATHA (V.O.)The witch had been driven fromthe village but had returned soonafter to curse the residents.

Billy scratches at the crotch of his pants.

A moan catches his attention.

AGATHA (V.O.)She cursed the ground of thecemetery, the one by dog messlane, and said anyone buriedthere would come back.

The earth rumbles and a pair of hands thrust out.Startled, Billy jumps to feet.

BILLYWhat the fuck!

Jasons head emerges, his flesh rotten and torn, and hiseyes cold and black.

AGATHA (V.O.)

Come back to haunt their family.Forever trapped in...whats the word?

Billy backs away but trips and falls on his back.

A second hand reaches from the earth, this time between hislegs and grasps his crotch.

AGATHA (V.O.)Limbo, thats it, love. Forevertrapped in limbo.

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30/100

The hand tightens its grip and Billy screams with fear.Jason pulls his body free from the ground, groans andcrawls toward his brother.

AGATHA (V.O.)Anyway, my father thought hecould take advantage of thisstory. He, shall we say,borrowed a few bodies anddeclared himself a finder of theliving dead.

Kylie pushes her rotting head free from the ground and upbetween Billys legs. Her eye sockets empty, she snaps herteeth toward his crotch.

Jason hovers above and spews out a mouthful of intestines.

AGATHA (V.O.)He would charge the grieving widows to search out their undead

loved ones and help return themto sacred ground.

Billy lets out another scream as Kylie bites down on hisgenitals.

AGATHA (V.O.)Having convinced a fair few outof pocket, he drank his illgotten gains and spouted histwaddle to the entire pub.

Jason sinks his teeth into Billys arm.

AGATHA (V.O.)It didnt go down well and he wasbarred. It was the end of him.Nowhere else had a dartboard yousee. Billy, are you listening to

me?

Billy screams and screams.

AGATHA (V.O.)Billy?

END DREAM SEQUENCE

GARDEN

AGATHA Billy?

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31/100

Billys eyes snap open and he reaches for his crotch.There is sudden relief in his eyes when he realises all is

well.

AGATHA Bursting are we? Im the same,only I sometimes wake up after.

BILLYWhat?

AGATHA Wipe your feet, and the seat ifyou miss.

Billy shakily stands, tosses the cigarette and enters thehouse.

AGATHA Now, can I get up again?


Water gushes from the sink tap. Billy splashes his faceand dries it off with a tea towel.

He peels the curtain back and looks out to the view ofAgatha as she struggles to lift herself from the wall.Beyond her, he stares at the newly uncovered woodengravestone.

Agatha slowly shuffles toward the house.

Billys face lights up as an idea pops in to his head.

Agatha enters and looks into the hall. She doesnt noticeBilly behind her.

AGATHA (shouts)

Billy, love. Dont let your teaget cold or your sandwiches get

warm.BILLY

I wont.

She clutches her chest in shock as she turns to Billy.

AGATHA Oh, you gave me such a fright,creeping around like the dead.

BILLYI didnt creep anywhere.

30.


32/100


33/100

BILLYHi.

DEBSYou better come in.

LIVING ROOM

Both enter. Debs sits back on the chair.

DEGSEYYou is got me some notes then?

BILLYI said I would, but this weed, Idont know, man. You said itdbeen tested on monkeys or

something?DEGSEY

Is you got the banana munchies?

Billy takes out the bag and gives it a shake.

BILLYNo, not all. Its worse.

He looks past the bag to Debs, who concentrates on the movie.

BILLYAlright, Debs?

Her eyes remain on the screen.

DEBSFine thanks, you?

Billy shrugs and looks back to Degsey.

BILLYIve been having some weird arse

dreams and Im guessing its thispurple shit.

DEGSEYWell I aint got no green till myBros get back from west side soyou is stuck with it.

DEBSWest side?

DEGSEYNeith under Roseberry, aint it.

32.


34/100

BILLYFucks sake, Degsey.

Debs looks over to her brother.

DEBSYoure an idiot, Bryan.

Billy chokes back a laugh.

BILLYBryan! Ive not heard that sinceschool, mate.

Degsey fumes.

DEGSEYShut your shit, bitch. The long

road home is calling with thattalk.

Debs sighs and returns her focus back to the screen.

BILLYHere you go, Bryan.

With a smirk, Billy slaps down a few crumpled notes, whichis met with an unapproved stare from Degsey.

Billy looks at the television.

BILLYGood movie?

DEGSEYAye, was gonna eye part one butit as vanished aint it.

He looks to Billy, who tries not to look guilty.

DEGSEYIs you staying?

BILLYNah, mate, I got some recon to doup by dog shit lane. Ill catchyou later. See ya, Debs.

She glances to Billy and lets slip a cheeky smile. Billygrins and exits.

DEBSWhats recon?

DEGSEYYou thick? Its stalking, aintit.

33.


35/100

EXT. VILLAGE CEMETERY - NIGHT

An old church stands watch over the gravestones beneath.

Billy crunches his way down the gravel path.

A groan (O.S.)

He stops and stares at a fresh mound of earth.

BILLY(whispers)

Dont you fucking dare.

He quickly continues and comes across an open grave. Asmall wooden stake is stuck in the ground nearby. Billysquints in the bad light. It reads Henry Ellis .

BILLY(whispers)

This must be it?

He looks round and takes note of a large tree nearby forlater reference.

Another groan (O.S.)

Nervously, he quickly walks away.

A HOMELESS MAN, (40) shabby clothes and huge beard,staggers toward the open grave. He looks in and then atBilly.

HOMELESS MANQueer bugger.


A smart new saloon car pulls into the driveway.

Jason exits but then ducks his head back inside the car.

JASONIll just see if hes in.

He shuts the car door and walks to the house. He rings thebell and tries the door. Surprised, it swings open and heenters.

INT. BILLYS HOUSE - HALL - DAY

The floor is strewn in various trainers and the stairs arelittered with clothes.

34.


36/100


37/100

JASONWhy do you always take his side?

KYLIEHes lonely.

JASONAnd whos faults that. Hepissed off all his mates when he

was lording it up. The one thinghes got left is the house and Iswear, if he fucks that up...

KYLIEJealousy not attractive, honey.

JASONWhos jealous?

Kylies attention is drawn beyond Jason as Billy walks pastthe car.


Billy walks up the driveway with a carrier bag in his hand.

JASON (O.S.)Hey, Billy.

He stops and his posture drops at the sight of his brother.

Jason slowly pulls the car up the driveway. He and Kylieboth exit.

JASONHow did you not see us?

BILLYHuh?

JASONAre you stoned, your eyes are all

red?

BILLYS P.O.V.


He blinks slowly and his eyes come to focus. Jason andKylie stare back at him, their faces rotten and grotesque.

KYLIEAre you alright, Billy?

He slowly blinks again.

36.


38/100

BACK TO SCENE

Jason and Kylie are normal.

BILLYIm fine, just knackered, andprobably a bit pissed.

INT. BILLYS HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY

Billy sits head down on the table, with Kylie opposite.Jason washes the dishes.

JASONYou need a dishwasher.

BILLY

(whispers)Ive got one.

Kylie smiles with amusement.

KYLIEYou need a woman.

Billy rolls his head to see Kylie.

BILLY(whispers)

You offering?

She jokingly winks.

Billy sits up.

BILLYI saw Degseys sister a few daysago.

KYLIEYou going to ask her out?

JASONShe a dope fiend as well?

KYLIEJason!

Billy looks to his brother with disapproval.

JASONWhat?

Billy returns his gave to Kylie.

37.


39/100

BILLYNot seen her in years.

KYLIEWhy dont you go over tonight, doa bit of digging, lay a fewfoundations, see if she likesyou?

Jason stops washing the dishes and waits for the excuse.

BILLYI cant tonight, Ive got adifferent kind of digging to do.

Jason dries his hands as he walks over.

JASON

(skeptical)Night shift?

Billy averts his guilty eyes.

BILLYSort of.


A spade and a torch occupy the wheel barrow that Billypushes along the path. He mumbles angrily and continually

wipes the dog mess from sole of his shoe.

He stops at the large tree and looks round, gathers hisbearings and heads toward a freshly topped mound of earth.

Grabbing the torch, he squats beside the gravestone.Illuminated it reads Here lies Henry Ellis, born February2nd 1952, died June 6th 2012. Beloved Husband and Father,he will be missed.

Billy grabs the spade and drives it in to the soil, hetakes a final look round and shovels out the dirt.

LATER

Billy stands shoulders deep in the grave. He tossesanother spade full of dirt out.

A groan (O.S.)

Billy freezes and listens intently. Nothing.

He digs again and the spade strikes a something solid.

38.


40/100

BILLY(whispers)

Bingo.

LATER STILL

The spade lies next to the open grave.

Grunting (O.S.)

Henrys head bobs out the grave and disappears again.

Another grunt (O.S.)

Henrys head and shoulders rise out. His suited corpse ispushed up and out of the grave.

Billy exits the hole, breathing heavy from the exertions.A quick look round to make sure he is alone, then he grabsthe corpse and heaves it into the barrow. With a struggle,Billy pushes the wheel barrow to the cemetery exits.

The Homeless Man watches him leave.

EXT. BILLYS HOUSE - BACK GARDEN - NIGHT

Darkness.

Billy pushes the barrow round the side of the house and issurprised as the security light flicks on.

A well kept lawn and large garden shed are illuminated.

BILLYBollocks.

Henrys limbs hang over the sides of the barrow as Billystruggles to steer it toward the shed. He opens it and

wheels the barrow inside.

After a moment, Billy exits and enters the house throughthe back door.

EXT. VILLAGE CEMETERY - DAY

VICAR MELVIN DREW, (50) grey hair and ginger beard, wears ablack cassock. He whistles as he walks along the path.

He stops at the sight of the mound of earth beside theempty grave.

Slowly approaches the hole and peers in.

39.


41/100

MELVINBloody hell.

He spins and looks up at the church.

MELVINSorry.

BEHIND A GRAVESTONE

The Homeless man watches as Melvin pulls a mobile phonefrom inside his cassock.

CEMETERY

Melvin holds the phone to his ear.

MELVINPolice, please.

He shakes his head in disbelief at the situation.

MELVINHello, this is Vicar Melvin Drewand Id like to report a theftplease.

Another quick look into the grave.

MELVINFrom the cemetery. A body. Yes,body snatched.

A final glance into the hole.

MELVINThey took the coffin too.

BEHIND A GRAVESTONE - CONTINUOUS

The Homeless man retreats the scene. He jig-zags betweenthe graves and comes to a large bush at the edge of thecemetery.

He lifts up the foliage and reveals the coffin. He liftsthe lid and clambers in.

INT. BILLYS HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

Billy sits asleep in the chair. On his lap balances aplate with left over pizza and the bag of purple weed.

Empty beer cans are scattered across the carpet.

40.


42/100


43/100

BILLYHow much!

He bangs down a handful of coins on the counter.

EXT. VILLAGE - STREET - DAY

Billy walks along the footpath with a rolled cigarettehanging from his lips. He tears open a chocolate bar,removes the fag and takes a bite.

He stops and looks across the road to a house surrounded byreporters. Tony and Sally stand on the doorstep andgesticulate toward them.

Billy looks at Tony and realisation sinks in. He pulls uphis hood and quickly hurries past.


The wilderness has been tamed. A few large bags of rubbishare all that taints the now well maintained garden.

Billy leans on the spade with a glint of satisfaction.

AGATHA Oh, youve made a grand job.

BILLYThanks.

AGATHA Frank would be very pleased.

Billy looks over to the oil drum, which now stands on thepatio, and lets out a nervous laugh.

Agatha grins back with a twinkle in her eyes.

AGATHA Well I best get you some more

money, love.She turns away.

BILLYGreat. Er, Agatha, about thatstory you told me.

Agatha stops and looks back.

AGATHA Story? Remind me, love, the old

memories not what it was.

42.


44/100

BILLYAbout your dad and the witchescurse.

She shakes her head.

AGATHA Oh, that nonsense.

BILLYNonsense?

AGATHA Oh yes, love. Its a load ofcodswallop, the curse I mean, not

my father. He really was alying, thieving so-and-so.

Billy rummages in his pocket and removes a pen and crumpledpiece of paper.

BILLYYeah, but if you could you justtell me the story again though,it was very interesting.

Agatha nods.

AGATHA Ill put the kettle on first.

BILLYOkay but go easy, Ive alreadygot dicky guts.

INT. LOCAL ECHO NEWSPAPER OFFICE - DAY

The small premises are crowded with JOURNALISTS. Theyfight for desk space.

Hood up, Billy tentatively enters with a six pack of beerunder his arm.

He walks to the nearest desk and offers a piece of paper toCHLOE BEVEL(25). Glasses and suit, she looks the modelprofessional.

CHLOEWhats this?

BILLY(gravelled voice)

To do with the missing body.

He hands over the paper and hurriedly exits.

43.


45/100

Intrigued, she slowly opens the note.

CHLOEThe curse of the Roseberry Witch.

She looks to the exit, then over to a male COLLEAGUE.

CHLOEHey, I might have an interestingspin on the body snatcher story?

He pays her no attention.

INT. JASONS HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY

Spotlessly tidy.

Kylie sits at a table and eats spaghetti. Opposite, Jasontwirls his fork, wrapping his spaghetti around it. His mind clearly elsewhere.

KYLIEWhat is it?

He stops twirling.

JASONSorry?

KYLIEClearly theres something on your

mind. Youve been toying withyour food for five minutes

without eating anything.

JASONIts Billy, as always. I know Ishould leave him be but hes mykid brother and...

KYLIEYoure worried about him?

JASONChrist no, Im worried about thehouse.

He lets out an unconvincing fake laugh to which Kylie isntamused.

JASONYeah alright, Im worried abouthim.

44.


46/100

KYLIEYou want to know if hes been

working or not, whether heslying about the whole thing justto get you off his back?

Jason holds his hands up in surrender.

JASONGuilty. I might just pop roundlater.

KYLIETonight, Why the rush?

He shrugs.

KYLIE

Go tomorrow, Jason. Eat yourtea.

He spins his fork in the spaghetti as his mind wandersagain.

EXT. TONYS HOUSE - BACK GARDEN - NIGHT

Light from the kitchen window illuminates a tidy back lawn.A six foot fence offers privacy at the foot of the longnarrow space.

BILLY (O.S.)God damn it.

Billy grunts and sighs as he heaves himself over the fenceand drops into the garden. He wears Henrys suit but itfits him badly.

He takes a step and security light flashes on and causeshim to shield his eyes from the bright halogen rays.

BILLYOh for fu...

A door opens (O.S.)

TONY (O.S.)Bloody cat!

Billy panics and jumps into the nearby foliage.

Wearing his dressing gown and slippers, Tony wanders on tothe lawn and looks for suspects while he lights up acigarette.

45.


47/100

TONYIm going to string the bloodything up.

SALLY (O.S.)Is it next doors cat?

Tony takes a step and stops. His shoulders drop and helifts up his foot and looks at the bottom of his slipper.

TONY(mumbles)

Fucking thing.

He wipes the slippers sole across the grass.

TONYYes! And its shit on the grass

again.He heads back toward the house unaware that behind him,Billy steps from the bushes.

BILLY(deep voice)

It was your fault.

He sways and moans for effect.

Tony slowly turns to face Billy.

BILLY(deep voice)

It was your fault, son.

TONYSorry?

BILLY(deep voice)

Your fault I got hit by that bus.

Tony glares at the figure in his fathers clothes. An eerie

silence lingers.TONY

Who the fuck are you?

BILLYIt is me...

His memory searches for a name.

BILLY...Henry, your father.

Tony sighs and shakes his head in disbelief.

46.


48/100

TONYGet fucked you sick bastard.

He makes a move for Billy, who turns to make his escape butslips in the cat excrement.

TONYYou think this is funny? Imgoing to kick your arse, you

worthless piece of scum.

Billy scrambles to his feet and dashes over the fence.

TONYCome back here and Ill do youone, do you hear me?

He turns with a face like thunder to see Sally, who stands

at the kitchen door with arms folded.SALLY

Did you stand in shit again?


Billy sits in front of the television with a bottle of beerin his hand and cigarette pinched between his lips. He

watches a cookery programme in only his underpants.

His attention is drawn to the bag of purple weed on thefire place. He swigs from the bottle and looks back theprogramme, trying to quash his temptation.

BILLYFuck it.

He grabs a console controller and flicks over thetelevision channel. As he waits for a game to load, hiseyes are again drawn to the drugs. After a moments pause,he jumps up and snatches it.

INT. DEGSEYS FLAT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHTDegsey sits and watches an old black and white movie.

The clunk of a closed door. (O.S.)

DEBS (O.S.)I got milk and bread.

Frustrated with the interruption, Degsey pauses the movie.

DEGSEYDid ya get me smokes?

47.


49/100

DEBS (O.S.)Yes.

Satisfied he nods.

DEGSEYThe parents called for ya, aintthey.

Debs slowly enters.

DEBSThey came here, what did theysay?

DEGSEYYou think Id let them in mycrib? They were on the blower

werent they, asking if you isgoing back?

DEBSWhat did you say?

DEGSEYSaid youd be back for tea didntI. Been crying and shit.

Debs walks in front of the television, obstructing hisview.

DEBSYou said what?

DEGSEYTone that attitude, bitch, yourtime here is up, aint it.Shits all packed and everything.

DEBSYoure a prick, Bryan.

DEGSEY

Aye.She storms out allowing Degsey to continue watching the

movie.

DEBS (O.S.)Guess Ill just tell them youredealing then.

He looks round with apprehension.

DEGSEYBest not or...

48.


50/100

DEBS (O.S.)Or what?

The front door slams (O.S.)

DEGSEYOr I say you is a lesbo, wont I.

He turns back to the television with a smile.

DEGSEYBitch argues good.


Billy plays a violent video game. He struggles to focus ashis bloodshot eyes flicker to stay open.

EXT. BILLYS HOUSE - NIGHT

Jasons car is parked on the driveway.

INT. JASONS CAR - NIGHT

Jason sits alone in the vehicle and stares up at the house.

JASONI was wondering how work went andif you got paid?

He shakes his head.

JASONNo. Why dont you pay some bills

with the money you got from thegardening?

Another head shake no.

JASON

Look you little prick, pay somebills off with the money anddont blow it on blow.

He jerks back in his seat with frustration.

JASONDont waste it on blow. Dontblow it on grass. Dont spend iton weed. Ah, fuck it.

He reaches for the car door as Debs walks past the car window. He sinks down in his seat and, with his head just

above the steering wheel, watches her ring the door bell.

49.


51/100


52/100

BILLYWell come in then, make yourselfat home.

She glances down at his attire and enters.

DEBSI hope that doesnt mean gettingstoned and stripping down to myunderwear?

She walks up the hall and into the kitchen.

Billy looks down at his pale, out of shape body.

BILLY(mutters)

Bollocks.

He sucks in his gut and broadens his shoulders to momentarily improve his physique. He drops his posture with a disappointed look.

BILLYYou can put the kettle on if you

want, Ill just put some keks on.

He staggers up the stairs.

KITCHEN

Dirty pots are stacked high in the sink again.

Debs fills the kettle and searches for some clean cups.She eventually finds two in the back of a cupboard.

Billy enters wearing shorts and a T-shirt.

DEBSKettles on.

BILLY

Cool.DEBS

You managed to get some puffthen?

Hes surprised.

BILLYSorry?

She opens the fridge and takes out a carton of milk.

51.


53/100


54/100

DEBSMaybe that was him parkedoutside?

Billy nods.

BILLYMaybe? Wait, what?

DEBSThere was a guy just sat in hiscar on your drive.

BILLYThats probably him then?

Debs walks past Billy and exits the kitchen.

DEBS (O.S.)Guess Ill ask him then, ifthats alright?

BILLYWait.

Billy rushes after her.

HALL

Debs opens the door.

DEBSThats a shame, hes gone.

Billy looks over her shoulder at the empty driveway.

DEBSDo we think hell be okay with mesleeping in his old bed...orshall we not risk it?

She pouts her lips.

BILLYIs this a game?

DEBSWhat do you mean, Billy?

BILLYIve not seen you in years, then

when I do you treat me like aturd, and now you come here,insult me, then ask to stay overand now youre coming on to

me...arent you?

53.


55/100


56/100

KYLIEHes not a monster you know.

JASONI know, but hes not a greatcatch is he?

KYLIEI dont know, hes got his ownhouse.

Her wry smile draws a scowl response from Jason.

JASONFor how long?

He pops the toothbrush back in and exits.

Kylie peers over the book, happy with her last comment.

INT. BILLYS HOUSE - BATHROOM - DAY

Untidy and cluttered.

Billy enters in his underpants. He stares into a mirrorabove the sink and grabs a toothbrush, adds a little pasteand begins to brush.

His attention is drawn to his feet. He reaches down and with a disgusted look, pulls a used condom from between his

toes. He flicks it into the toilet and continues to brush.

KITCHEN

Debs waits for the kettle to boil and reads over a letter.She wears a pair of boys pjs.

Billy, now fully dressed, enters.

BILLYWhat you reading?

The kettle clicks off.

DEBSSays you owe a hundred quid onyour electric.

BILLYIm not surprised, how many timeshave you boiled the kettle sinceyou arrived?

His chuckle is met with a disapproving glare.

55.


57/100

DEBSYou want a tea?

BILLYGo on then.

DEBSBest get some milk then hadntyou.

Billy sighs.

BILLYRight. Wont be long then.

He turns to leave.

DEBS

Billy.He turns back and waits for the next insult.

DEBSThanks for letting me stay lastnight.

His face lightens.

BILLYNo probs, stay as long as youlike.

DEBSThanks.

He again turns to leave.

BILLYYou can wash up if you want?

HALL

Billy pauses by the front door and searches for keys.Muffled talking (O.S.)

LIVING ROOM

The television is on, the volume low.

Billy enters.

BILLYBloody hell, more electric.

56.


58/100

He walks past the chair and turns off the television.

A groan and he freezes, aware someone is sat behind him inthe chair. He slowly turns and his eyes bulge from theresockets at the sight before him.

Henry, his skin a dull grey, sits in a pair of whiteunderpants and matching vest. His sunken eyes flick to meet Billys.

HENRYI was watching that.

Billy remains frozen with fear for a few seconds.

BILLYSorry.

He slowly flicks the television back on.Henry smiles with gratitude as Billy slowly backs away.

HENRYHey, Billy, you never came back?

BILLYSorry?

HENRYI got to say I like the relaxedrules here. No one telling me toget to bed or to put some clotheson or to stop farting. Seemsthey actually shipped me out to adecent place, eh. I knew they

would, just needed pushing to thebrink.

He looks round at the surroundings.

HENRYAye its not a bad place, but thecleaner wants shooting.

BILLYYes.

Billy lets slip a nervous laugh.

BILLYIll have a word with her.

He slowly exits.

HENRYYou do that.

57.


59/100

HALL

Billy closes the door and stares at the handle.

DEBS (O.S.)You going for that milk?

He looks toward the kitchen.

BILLYEr...yeah.

INT. BILLYS HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT - FLASHBACK


Billy plays a violent video game. His eyes are barelyopen.

The doorbell rings.

He quickly looks round, then back to the action.

The doorbell rings again.

HENRY (O.S.)Best get that.

Billy sighs and drops the control pad.

BILLYFucks sake.

He exits.

Henry peels himself off the sofa and sits in the chair. Hesmiles as he flicks the television on to an old movie.

END FLASHBACK

HALLBilly still stares at the door handle, his mind elsewhere.

Debs stands beside him.

DEBSBilly, are you going for that

milk?

Billy flinches with shock and surprise.

58.


60/100

BILLYYeah, yeah, Im going. Er, do mea favour though and dont go inhere, its a bit of a shit tip.

DEBSAnd the kitchen isnt?

Billy nods and smiles.

BILLYThis is worse. Promise?

DEBSPromise. I need to get readyanyway.

She wanders off upstairs.

BILLYCool. I wont be long.

He opens the front door, glances back to the living roomdoor with worry, and finally exits.


Billy walks a few feet from the front door, stops andslowly shakes his head.

BILLYMust be the fucking weed? God, Ihope its the fucking weed?

INT. DEGSEYS FLAT - LIVING ROOM - DAY

Degsey watches the television.

The phone rings and he jumps up to answers it.

DEGSEY

Tis the Degsey speaking.His shoulders slump and he drops back on to the sofa.

DEGSEYHow many times, aint nothing

wrong with the weed, bro.

EXT. STREET - DAY

Billy walks with his mobile phone to his ear.

59.


61/100

BILLYIm telling you, mate, you betterhope its the weed cos Im seeingsome bad shit.

He stops at a road crossing.

BILLYThen you best get over to minecos Ive got a major problem. NoI cant say now.

He checks for traffic before crossing the road.

BILLYWhat do you mean you cant?

INT. DEGSEYS FLAT - DAYDegsey talks on the phone but his concentration remains onthe television.

DEGSEYYou is knowing I can only strayfrom the pad on Wednesdays. Iis got a business and shit, cantdrop the shutters on punters.

He flicks the channel to a cookery show.

DEGSEYWhat is you mean, youll askDebs then? The bitch wont helpyou, is you for real?

He points the remote at the television.

DEGSEYFavour, what favour she owe you?

Now interested, he mutes the volume.

DEGSEYShe stayed at yours. Thought thebitch would head back to the

mother ship?

EXT. CORNER SHOP - DAY

Rasheed stares at the security mirror. It reflects Billy, who holds a carton of milk as he talks on his mobile phone.

He approaches the counter.

60.


62/100

BILLYNo, she climbed aboard

my...vessel.

Billy plonks down the milk and scatters a handful of changeacross the counter.

BILLYCalm down, Degsey, she came on to

me.

He quickly moves the phone away from his ear.

DEGSEY (O.S.)I is going crazy this end, man!

Billy looks at Rasheed and shrugs.

BILLYMorning. That should cover it.

He moves the phone back to his ear.

BILLYIll see you at mine in ten then?Cool.

He ends the call and slowly moves the phone round under hisnose. He sniffs and repels.

BILLYDoes that smell like cheese toyou?

He offers Rasheed a smell, who reluctantly sniffs.

RASHEEDCheese and onion maybe?

Billy has a second sniff and nods.

BILLYYeah, youre right, its cheese

and onion. See you later,Rasher.

He stuffs the phone in his pocket, grabs the milk andexits.

Rasheed waits for the door to close and shakes his head.

Almost immediately the door flings open again and Billystorms back inside.

Rasheed takes a step back, unsure of his intentions.

61.


63/100

Billy grabs a newspaper from a bundle beside the counter.He reads the headline; The Curse of the Roseberry Witch;fact or fiction?

BILLYShit, Id forgotten about that.

He flashes a nervous smile at Rasheed and quickly exitsagain.

Rasheed peers over the counter to view the newspapers.

RASHEEDStrange boy.

INT. BILLYS HOUSE - HALL - DAY

Billy enters and cautiously passes the room door.

KITCHEN

He puts the milk down and looks to the ceiling.

BILLYDebs, Im back with the milk.

He listens for a response.

BILLYDebs?

He shrugs and flicks the kettle on.

The doorbell rings.

BILLYJez, that was quick.

He turns and is startled to see Debs in the doorway.

DEBS

Shall I get it?BILLY

Er, if you want, its yourbrother anyway.

DEBSWhys he here? Im notapologising to that idiot.

Billy shakes his head no.

BILLYHes here to see me.

62.


64/100

DEBSReally, you got him to leave theflat?


DEBSAnd its not even a Wednesday.Impressive.

She exits.

Billy pours three cups of tea.

JASON (O.S.)Morning, bro.

Billys shoulders sink.

BILLYWhat do you want?

Jason and Debs enter.

JASONCharming. Anyway, just thoughtId pop in as I was passing.

BILLYSo why didnt you pop in lastnight?

JASONSorry, what do you mean?

He looks round to Debs, then back to Billy.

BILLYTea?

Jason sits at the table.

JASON

Go on then, if youve made it.He looks to Debs and grins.

JASONYou must be Debs then?

She looks a little surprised.

DEBSYes, how did....

63.


65/100


66/100


67/100

She jumps with shock. The others are unaware as Debs turnsto face Henry.

DEBSOh, Im sorry you startled me.

She looks down at Henrys underwear and then at his greyfeatures.

DEBSWhere did you come from, and areyou okay, you look terrible?

HENRYIm fine thank you, and Ive beenin the common room. Which needsa good clean when youve finishedyour break.

DEBSThe where? Sorry, but Billynever mentioned he had familystaying.

HENRYOh, Im not related to Smokey Joeover there, just one of theresidents. And thats anotherthing, I really dont approve ofhim polluting my air, at least myson had the decency to gooutside.

Debs looks confused.

DEBSBilly! Whats going on?

Henry flinches as she shouts to interrupt the argument.

DEBSWhos this and whys he in his y-fronts?

Jason and Degsey look to Billy for an explanation.

BILLYThis is my present issue, kidda,and why I wanted you round,Degsey. Everyone, this is Henry.Hes recently...deceased.

They all stare open mouthed.

HENRYIm sorry, what?

66.


68/100

EXT. VILLAGE CEMETERY - DAY

Chloe stands behind the police tape that cordons off theopen grave. She peers in, then around the cemetery andspots the Homeless guy, who watches her from behind agravestone.

CHLOEExcuse me?

The Homeless guy ducks out of sight.

MELVIN (O.S.)I wouldnt waste your breath, he

wont help you.

Chloe looks round to see Melvin approach.

MELVINPolice?

CHLOEJournalist.

He nods.

MELVINWeve already had a few, thoughtthe story would be getting old bynow?

Chloe offers her hand.

CHLOEChloe Stevens, Roseberry Echo.

They shake.

MELVINMelvin Drew, pleased to me you.So how can I help you?

CHLOEI wanted to ask you what you knewabout the Roseberry witch?

He raises an eyebrow.

MELVINThe Roseberry witch, I haventheard that mentioned for a longtime.

CHLOESo you have heard the story?

67.


69/100

MELVINOh yes, my dear, but thats allit is, a story. I dont believetheres any truth in it.

Chloe nods.

CHLOEYou dont believe but maybeothers do?

MELVINMaybe. Is that what you thinkhappened here, someone took thebody believing it would return tolife?

CHLOE

I dont know, I just thought maybe you could shed some morelight on the story. Theres nottoo much about it in thearchives, just a few referencesto the curse.

Melvin looks round the empty cemetery and leans in.

MELVIN(whispers)

You should pay a visit to Mrs.Hare down on Richmond Avenue.

CHLOEMrs. Hare?

MELVINBy coincidence, shes got crazyhair, something to do with thestatic.

He puts hands beside his head for effect.

INT. BILLYS HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAYHenry sits at the table.

Billy, Jason, Degsey and Debs stand a few feet away,huddled together.

JASONWhat do you mean, hes deceased?

BILLYIts pretty self explanatory.

68.


70/100

JASONDont get smart with me.

Degseys grabs Billy by the arm.

DEGSEYYou is not blaming this on my merchandise is you?

JASONWhat merchandise?

BILLYNot entirely, it wasnt yourpurple shit kill him if thats

what you mean?

Degsey nods.

DEGSEYTis cool then. Thought you wassaying it was my junk that toppedthe old timer.

All eyes stare at Degsey.

DEGSEYContinue.

Billy shakes his head in bewilderment.

BILLYWell, I dont know what to do

with him?

He looks round to Henry.

DEBSHow did he get here?

BILLYErm...well I had this idea.

Jason buries his head in his hands.JASON

Oh Jesus, the body snatcher.

Billy slowly nods.

DEBSBilly!

DEGSEYYou is crazy, bro.

BILLYIve another plan though.

69.


71/100

JASONWhats that, how to stay out ofjail?

Billy shakes his head.

BILLYNo, I think I can still make somecash out of this?

He grimaces, immediately regretting saying that.

JASON(sarcastically)

Oh well thats alright then.

Debs shakes her head in disgust.

DEBSI think its time I left. Itseems you are a dickhead afterall.

BILLYIm not, honest.

JASONYou are a dickhead. I mean thisis serious.

BILLYLook things have just got alittle out of hand. Ive been

working right and...

DEBSDigging up bodies?

BILLYNo, I did some gardening for anold dear, and she was well happy

with the work.

JASONSo you say.

BILLYI do say. Anyway she told methis story and it gave me anidea.

Debs points to Henry.

DEBSThis?

70.


72/100

BILLYYeah, I agree I do seem to have

made a bad decision now.

She sighs and exits.

BILLYDebs wait.

DEGSEYDoors to the Degsey Inn are stillclosed for you, bitch, aintthey.

DEBS (O.S.)Piss off, Bryan.

DEGSEY

Attitude on that.BILLY

Shit.

He takes a step but is stopped by Jason.

JASONWhere you going?

BILLYWhere do you think?

JASONYouve got a corpse sat at thekitchen table and youre goingafter the girl?

Billy looks over at Henry, who drools down his vest.

BILLYDo you want to watch some TV?

JASONBilly! Sort this out, now. Im

sure Bryan here can stay and mindthe baby.

DEGSEYBaby?

Billy sighs.

BILLYFine. Fuck knows what Im goingto say to his son this time?

He exits.

71.


73/100

JASONThis time?

Jason hurries after him.

JASON (O.S.)What do you mean, this time?

Degsey looks at Henry.

HENRYIm a bit confused by all this.

DEGSEYYou is confused! Im talking toa dead guy and I is not even beenon the doobies.

Henry drops his head in shame.HENRY

Think I might have soiled myselftoo. That last fart seemed a bit

moist.

Degsey screws up his eyes at the image.

INT. AGATHAS HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

Chloe sits with a notebook open on her lap and taps a penagainst her teeth.

Agatha enters with a tray of tea. Her hair is fuzzy fromthe static.

AGATHA Right love, whats this allabout?

She sits and hands a cup to Chloe.

CHLOE

Thank you. I was wondering ifyou could tell me about theRoseberry witch?

Agatha takes a sip from her cup and savers the flavour.

AGATHA Oh, lovely cuppa that. TheRoseberry witch you say, and what

makes you think I would knowanything about that?

72.


74/100

CHLOEWell, I heard a whisper fromsomeone that you were the personto ask.

AGATHA Vicar Drew been shooting his mouth off again has he? Cantkeep that trap of his shut.

Chloe fidgets uneasily in her seat.

CHLOEIf this isnt a good time I canalways come back?

AGATHA No youre alright, love, Ive

bugger all else to do today.Drink your tea before it goescold.

Chloe smiles.

CHLOEGreat, anything you could tell me

would be of help.

AGATHA Why the interest anyway?

CHLOEJust a lead Im following up.

AGATHA The body snatcher thing Imguessing?

Chloe nods and takes a slurp of tea but exhales sharply asthe alcohol burns into her throat.

CHLOEJesus!

Agatha chuckles.

AGATHA Keep you warm inside, love.

Chloe nods in agreement.

A bang from another room catches Chloes attention. Shelooks round to the door.

CHLOEWhat was that?

73.


75/100

Agatha ignores her.

AGATHA So my dear, my father was a bitof a waste of skin, like a fewother people I know. Anyway hecame home one night...


Billy stands before the front door and composes himselfbefore he knocks.

JASON (O.S.)This is a bad idea.

Billy looks round to Jason, who stands by the gate.

BILLYIve got to do something haventI.

JASONIm just saying, telling him youdug up his dad and hes come backto life and sat in our kitchen isprobably not the best thing todo?

BILLYOur kitchen? I think you mean...

The door is opened by Sally.

SALLYYes?

Billy spins.

BILLYHi, erm...I was wondering if yourhusband was in?

SALLYAnd whos asking?

Billy looks round at his brother for guidance, then back toSally.

BILLYMe, sorry I dont get thequestion?

Sally shakes her head with annoyance.

74.


76/100

SALLYWho are you and why do you wantto speak to my husband cos ifyoure one of the paper peopleyou can just piss off now?

BILLYNo, no, I know his dad and wanteda quick word.

She looks back into the house and pulls the door almostclosed.

SALLYIf you knew him well, youd knowhe passed away.

Billy slowly nods.

BILLYYeah, sorry, I know hes dead butIve got a message from him.

Sally enters and slams the door in Billys face.

JASONWell done, Derek Acorah.

Billy fumes.

BILLYPiss off, Donovan!

JASONDont start with that again, itsnot even funny.

Billy knocks on the door again.

BILLYWell I find it funny.

JASON

You would.Billy turns to face his brother.

BILLYWhats that suppose to mean?

Oblivious as the door opens, he knocks again, this time onTonys chest. He freezes and slowly turns.

BILLYShit, sorry, I didnt realiseyoud...

75.


77/100

Tony looks him up and down.

TONYHave we met?

BILLY(nervously)Maybe?

Tony tries to place the face.

TONYYou were there, the day ithappened?

BILLYYes.

TONYWhat do you want?

Billy glances round to his brother, who shakes his head with a final warning. He ignores him and turns back.

BILLYI know this is going to sound madbut, Ive got something to tellyou about your dad.

Tony looks unimpressed.

BILLYI might have dug...

JASON (O.S.)Billy?

BILLY...I know what happened to him.

EXT. AGATHAS HOUSE - DAY

The front door opens and Agatha shows Chloe out.CHLOE

Thanks again, you sure knew quitea bit about it all.

AGATHA My pleasure, dear.

Chloe, clearly a little drunk, walks down the path andexits the gate. Agatha turns and looks back in the house.

AGATHA Shall I put the kettle on, love?

76.


78/100


Henry, wearing bright red football shorts, sits in thechair. A large dusting of white powder covers the chairand the surrounding carpet.

Degsey is on the sofa with a cigarette between his lips.They both watch an old black and white movie.

DEGSEYYou is sure you aint wantingsome puff, Grandad?

Henrys eyes are glued to the screen.

HENRYIm sure.

DEGSEYYou is missing out. You wontcare that you is confused after atoke on this. I is talking toyou now and I aint giving aflayin.

HENRYIm dandy now, son. Thanks forthe shorts.

DEGSEYNo sweat, I is sorry I had to binyour wabs but I aint touching myown shit so no ways I is touchingyours.

Degsey grabs the bag of purple weed from the floor.

HENRYThats fair enough, son. You

might have overdone the talcthough?

Degsey ignores him and starts to roll another joint.DEGSEY

Knew this was good shit, didntI.

INT. TONYS HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY

Spotlessly clean and tidy.

Tony sits beside Sally with Billy opposite. A silencelingers for too long.

77.


79/100

BILLYErm, any chance of a cuppa?

TONYNo, get on with what youve gotto say.

Billy looks awkward.

BILLYOkay, well its about your dad.

TONYYes, you said that already.

SALLYWhat do you know about Henry?

TONYIm asking the questions.

SALLYDont get like that with me.

She stands and storms off toward the kettle. Billy isdistracted as he watches her fill it.

TONYLook, Im losing patience.

He takes out a pack of cigarettes and pops one in his mouth.

SALLYOutside with that.

Tony grimaces with anger and slowly removes. He promptsBilly with a raise of the eyebrows.

BILLYRight, sorry. Well, er...I dontsuppose youve seen todays paperhave you?

Tony raises his bottom and slides a copy of the local paperfrom the seat.

TONYThis witch shit, yes Ive seenit. Are you the reporter that

wrote this bollocks?

BILLYGod no, but...I might have

mentioned it to her.

78.


80/100


81/100


82/100

TONYGet me the phone again.

BILLYNo wait, you see your dads well,

well not that well but not allthat dead. I mean he is dead, helooks like shit actually, buthes up and about, watching thetele and moaning and everything.He thinks hes in a home orsomething.

Baffled, Tony slowly takes a drink of tea and lets thestory sink in.

BILLYI think that was mine?

TONYHe thinks hes in a home?Watching tele and moaning.Anymore shit waiting to come outof your mouth?

BILLYHe told me about...

TONYWhat?

BILLYErm...

INT. BILLYS HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT - FLASHBACK


Billy sits in the chair and plays a violent video game.His eyes are red and bloodshot.

Henry sits on the sofa.

BILLYDie bastard, die.

Henry shakes his head.

HENRYAll blood and death these days.I made do with a few tinsoldiers. All the blood anddeath was in my head.

Billy is uninterested.

81.


83/100

BILLYThats nice.

HENRYI remember buying my son one ofthose computer contraptions.Cost an arm and leg it did. Allnight I played the thing andnever did get across the road for

my skies.

Billys eyes grow heavy and struggle to focus.

The doorbell rings.

He quickly looks round, then back to the action.


HENRYBest get that.

Billy sighs and drops the control pad.

BILLYFucks sake.

He exits.

Henry peels himself off the sofa and sits in the chair. Hesmiles as he flicks the television on to an old movie.

END FLASHBACK

KITCHEN

BILLYNot sure what he meant about theskies.

A memory triggers and Tony smiles.

TONYI know what he means. He musthave told me that story a hundredtimes.

BILLYHe wouldnt shut up, complainingabout this and that.

SALLYSounds like him, always moaning.If he isnt dead, you can keephim, miserable old...

82.


84/100


85/100


Chloe strides up and stops behind Jason, who is obliviousto her presence. She looks up at the house.

JASONOh, getting his dick stuck in theHoover pales in comparison tothis.

She taps Jason on the shoulder.

CHLOEExcuse me.

Jason damn nears falls off the wall with shock.

JASONFuck me!

CHLOEI beg your pardon.

JASONSorry, you scared the bejesus outof me.

He returns the phone to his ear.

JASONIll call you back, babe.

He ends the call.


Degsey and Henry now share the sofa and large bowl ofcheesy puff crisps. Both pairs of bloodshot eyes try tofocus on the television thats barely visible through thesmoke haze.

DEGSEYI is just saying that being deadis cold, man.

HENRYI am pretty parky, but I cantfor the life of me remember where

my trousers are.

They both giggle like children.

DEGSEYThat is some funny shit, grandad.You is off it, big time.

84.


86/100

HENRYOff what?

DEGSEYYou is awesome. Here, toke onthe doobie.

He offers a large joint to Henry, who accepts.

HENRYFunny, I always berated my sonfor smoking, said it would killhim one day.

They both burst out laughing.

INT. TONYS HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY

Tony and Sally stand face to face, only inches betweenthem. Billy remains seated and nervously drinks his tea,keeping his focus on the table.

TONYYou always hated him!

SALLYSo did you!

TONYYes but he was my dad, Imallowed to!

SALLYAnd I wasnt?

TONYNo. You could of hated your owndad but he was a fucking saint

wasnt he, so you took it out on mine. He might have been a miserable old bastard but he was my dad and....and...I never even

got to say sorry, did I!Both take a breather and their anger dwindles.

SALLYSorry for what?

TONYFor being...ungrateful. Forbeing...selfish. For being...

A knock at the door stops Tony.

85.


87/100

BILLYYou still have a chance to saysorry, thats my point.

They both look down at Billy who offers a warm smile.

Another knock on the door.

SALLYIll get it.

She exits.

BILLYI just thought maybe you wouldlike to speak to him, one lasttime before...well, you know.

Sally enters with Chloe and Jason in tow.SALLY

Shall I make more tea?

Tony looks at the guests. His calming face hardens again.

TONYWho am I, the fucking Mad Hatter?

SALLYTony!

TONYAnd you are?

Chloe steps forward.

CHLOEChloe Bevel, Im from theRoseberry Echo. Im sorry foryour loss and I understand this

must be a difficult time for youbut I wondered if I might have a

word?

TONYSo you wrote this tosh?

He points to the tea soaked newspaper.

CHLOESorry?

TONYYou want to know about thedisappearance of my dads body,talk to him.

86.


88/100

He points a finger at Billy, who looks like a rabbit caughtin headlights.

BILLYEr....

Tony now points to Jason.

TONYAnd you are?

JASONIm with him.

He now points to Billy.

TONYYou drive?

Jason cautiously nods.

TONYGood, youre going to give me alift.

Jason nods again, then stops.

JASONWait, what? Drive you where?

TONYYoure house, apparently theressomeone there I should meet.

Tony stands over Billy and wags his finger in his face.

TONYIf he is there, and this isntall a load of bullshit, which Isuspect it is, then maybe, just

maybe, I wont call the police.Just maybe.

He pushes past Chloe and Jason, and exits.Billy calls after him.

BILLYIts my house, he doesnt livethere.

Too late so he turns his attention to Sally.

BILLYIts my house, I live alone.

87.


89/100

SALLY(sarcastically)

Well done.

JASONSo that went well, bro.

BILLYPiss off, kidda.

Tony bursts back in and silences the room.

TONYIf hes deader than dead then Ihear theres a good hole for youto hide in.

He exits with haste again. Jason follows.

Chloe casually takes out her notebook and points the pen atBilly.

CHLOESorry, what was your name again?

Billy quickly stands.

BILLYWait up, kidda.


The television is now almost completely obscured by smoke.Henry and Degsey laugh along with a TV show.

Degsey takes a long drag on a large joint and hands it toHenry. Both have large orange stains around their mouths.

DEGSEYThis shit is golden, man, I isnot knowing his problem with it.

The door opens and Billy, Tony, Jason and Chloe enter. Allfour occupants fan their hands to clear the air.

Degsey tries to focus on the intruders.

DEGSEYWhat up, Billy boy? I is totallysmoked.

He chuckles.

Tony steps forward and peers down at his father, astonishedat what he sees.

88.


90/100

TONYDad?

With a joint between his lips, Henry looks up with a wayward stare.

HENRYOh, hello, son. This isnt mine.

He removes the joint and offers it back to Degsey.

TONYYoure, youre...alive!?

Billy leans in to Tony and whispers something in his ear.Tony nods he understands.

TONY

Youre not dead!?HENRY

Ive never felt more alive, son.Ill say this, I never saw myselfin a home but I got to be honest,although not the cleanest, itaint half bad here. Nice staff,good TV and great nitpicks.

Tony looks round for an explanation.

TONYWhats he on about?

Billy circles his mouth with his finger.

BILLYHe means the munchies, right?

He looks to Degsey, who shrugs and bursts out laughing.

CHLOEAre they stoned? And whys hecovered in talcum powder?

Billy shrugs.

TONYAre they?

JASONOf course they are, look at them.

Billy fumes and grabs a hold of Degsey.

BILLYRight, get your arse up, mate.

89.


91/100

Degsey peels himself off the sofa and heads out the door.

BILLYWell leave you to talk with yourdad.

Billy, Jason and Chloe exit.

CHLOE (O.S.)Will someone please tell me

whats going on?

The door closes and leaves just father and son.

HENRYLook, son, about that card...

TONY

Forget the card, dad.

KITCHEN

Billy flicks the kettle on while Jason and Degsey sit atthe table. Chloe stands in the doorway, tapping her footimpatiently.

CHLOEHello, whats going on? Is thatold man suppose to be dead, butnow hes not? Is he the one fromthe grave?

DEGSEYAye, bitch, you is clued up.

Chloe scowls at Degsey.

JASONHe means, yes, the old man is nowsomehow, not dead.

BILLY

He is dead though, thats theproblem.

JASONYour problem.

Chloe senses a tone in Jasons response. She fishes for more information.

CHLOESo the curse is true?

BILLYI guess. Tea?

90.


92/100

Chloe nods yes and takes a seat.

Billy looks to Degsey, who raises a thumb, and then to hisbrother.

JASONGo on then. Its what we dobest, isnt it. Drink tea in acrises.

Chloe jots down a few notes.

BILLYHey, er...what you going to

write? I mean, Im in enoughshit here without you making up

more.

CHLOEWhat do you mean?

DEGSEYNecrophilia aint it.

CHLOEWhat!?

Billy panics and waves his arms in a fluster.

BILLYNo its not! I just dug him upfor...

Chloe jots down a few words and then looks for Billy tocontinue.

JASONMoney.

BILLYNo.

JASON

Yes.Chloe looks to both for confirmation.

BILLYWell sort of, but also for...

DEGSEYShits and giggles.

All attention turns to Degsey, who looks back with an overexaggerated grin.

91.


93/100

BILLYYes, I did it for the money.

Tony enters, his eyes red and puffy from crying.

TONYThank you. I dont know how youdid it but thank you for giving

me the chance to say sorry to mydad.

BILLYErm...youre welcome.

Chloe scribbles in the note pad.

TONYI think he should go back though,

to where he should be?Jason and Billy nod agreement.

CHLOEHow are you going to do that?

All attention is now on Billy.

BILLYEr...


Billy walks beside a now clothed Henry.

BILLYIm really sorry about all this,Henry.

HENRYIts okay, I suppose. You

werent to know what wouldhappen.

BILLYIm sorry I dug you up, for moneythough, honest. Im going to

make a real effort to change, Ipromise.

HENRYI was no saint, believe me but atleast I got to see my boy again.Bit of a shock being told youredead though, trust me, you dont

want to hear that when yourehigh.

92.


94/100

Billy chuckles as they stop at the Police tape.

BILLYThis is you.

Henry ducks under the tape and looks into the hole.

HENRYSeems I wasnt the only thing todo a runner.

BILLYWhat?

HENRYMy coffins done one too.

BILLY

Shit, really?Henry slowly lies down beside the hole.

HENRYNo worry, Im...sure theyll find

me...a new one.

BILLYDo you feel any different, nowyoure back here?

Henrys eyes flicker and close.

HENRYNot really, just...tired. Illjust wait...for them to put meback...to bed.

His movements stop and he falls silent.

BILLYHenry?

BEHIND A GRAVESTONEThe homeless man watches as Billy looks round and leaves.

LATER - DAY

Melvin and Chloe stand behind the Police tape. UniformedOFFICERS buzz around the scene.

Henry remains prone beside the open grave, along with hiscoffin.

93.


95/100


96/100


97/100

BILLYI was wondering if you fancygoing for a meal later?

She saunters toward him, a smile grows as she nears him.

DEBSOkay, Billy, why not.

BILLYReally?

DEBSYou seem to be keeping to your

word.

BILLYI am, Ive definitely changed,

Debs, definitely.DEBS

You still paying your brotherback too?

He slaps the roof of the van.

BILLYOf course. I got plenty of workon so things are looking up.

DEBSThats good, oh and you can pick

me up from home later.

Billy looks up at the flats.

BILLYFinally had enough?

DEBSMum and dad are in there now.You should see the look on hisface, its a picture.

BILLYKissed and made up?

DEBSYou could say that.

Billy fidgets with his collar.

BILLYActually I was thinking you couldstay at mine, if you want too,for a few nights, see how thingsgo?

96.


98/100

DEBSNot so quick, Billy. Like I saidbefore, slow and steady is the

way I like it.

She smiles seductively, walks up to him and they kiss.

INT. DEGSEYS FLAT - LIVING ROOM - DAY

Degsey sits in the chair and stares intently at the carpet.

His MUM, (50) in an expensive dress, matching shoes andperfect hair, holds a bag of purple grass in his face.

DEGSEYS MUMAnd you can cut this out too!

His DAD, (55) in a sharp suit, stands arms folded in thecorner.

DEGSEYS MUMDo you hear me?

DEGSEYYes, mum.

DEGSEYS MUMAnd you better clean this placeup or well stop paying yourrent, understand?

DEGSEYYes, mum.

DEGSEYS MUMAnd finally, stop giving yoursister grief.

DEGSEYYes, mum, after all, thats yourjob, right?

A stern look flashes across his Mums face. His dadunfolds his arms and approaches.

DEGSEYS DADHow dare you speak to your motherlike that, Bryan!

DEGSEYSorry, dad. Sorry, mum.


Immaculately well kept lawn and boarders.

97.


99/100

Billy rests on his spade and slurps from a cup of tea.

Agatha sits on a bench and soaks up the sun.

AGATHA Theres a sandwich in the kitchen

when you want it?

Billy nods and sets off to retrieve it. He stops at theold oil drum that now stands beside the back door.

BILLYAre you sure you dont want me toget rid of this?

AGATHA Not just yet, Billy love.

Billy nods and enters the house.



Billy eats his sandwich.

A clatter and he turns to look down the hallway. He chewsquickly and swallows.

BILLYHello?

He takes another bite as a silhouetted figure comes intoview.

Agatha enters from outside.

AGATHA I thought I told you to stayupstairs, love.

Billy looks at her confused as to who she is speaking to.

AGATHA Not since our wedding as he done

what I asked of him.

She shakes her head and shrugs with frustration.

Billy chokes on his sandwich.

AGATHA I paid a tramp to dig him up someten years ago. The reason whyescapes me now.

98.


100/100

INT. BILLYS HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Still clean and tidy.

Jason and Kylie sit at the table. Jason glances at his watch.

JASONWhere is he, its gone seven?

KYLIEHell just be running late. Haveyou tried his mobile?

JASONOf course, hes not answering.

KYLIEAt least hes keeping up with thecleaning.

Jason nods.


Billy stands, spade in hand, before two gravestone

A Dead Good Idea

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