A DAUGHTER’S DESTINY - inspirewomen.org fileA DAUGHTER’S DESTINY: BIBLE STUDY CHAPTER 1: BORN A...

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A DAUGHTER’S DESTINY BIBLE STUDY CHAPTER Born A Daughter 1 This material is made available only to leaders approved by Inspire Women to re-teach the material to their communities. No part of this document may be duplicated or sold for profit. The reflection questions in this study may be printed for attendees of Inspire Women onsite and off-site inner circles. All verses are quoted from the New International Version (NIV) of the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Copyright ©2017 by Anita Carman

Transcript of A DAUGHTER’S DESTINY - inspirewomen.org fileA DAUGHTER’S DESTINY: BIBLE STUDY CHAPTER 1: BORN A...

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A DA UGHT ER’S

DESTINY

BIBLE STUDY

 

CHAPTER Born A Daughter 1

This material is made available only to leaders approved by Inspire Women to re-teach the material to their communities. No part of this document may be duplicated or

sold for profit. The reflection questions in this study may be printed for attendees of Inspire Women onsite and off-site inner circles.

All verses are quoted from the New International Version (NIV) of the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Copyright ©2017 by Anita Carman

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INTRODUCTION LEADER SAYS: Lets read the back cover of Anita’s book Her Chinese mother speaks to her from the grave: "Daughter, you were my youngest and the one closest to me. I promised you I would never leave you but I broke that promise. Though I lost faith and took my own life, God heard my prayers to protect my children. I watched Him pull you close and raise you as His daughter. He wiped away your tears and gave you the voice I never had." A Daughter's Destiny is the captivating story of a poor, uneducated village girl in China and how her daughter found redemption in the midst of her mother's broken dreams-and a voice to inspire women around the world.

“Anita Carman’s life has impacted thousands of women all across the world, including my own. Her commitment to shape lives has been a beautiful sight to

behold. And that is why this story, of how her own life was molded, is even more powerful. In these pages, you will read the authentic and gripping saga of a woman,

her mother, and the God who loved them both.” —PRISCILLA SHIRER, BIBLE TEACHER AND AUTHOR

"Anita tells her amazing story of her relationship with her Mother from the

perspective of wisdom learned when she couldn't praise Him for what He allowed but let the pain drive her to an all sufficient Christ! A must read."

JILL BRISCOE, AUTHOR AND GLOBAL MINISTRY LEADER

LEADER SAYS:

This book is God’s comeback story. When Anita woke up at the age of 17 to find her mother had taken her own life, Anita felt as if life was over. All the dreams they dreamed together crashed to the ground. With her mother gone, Anita didn’t know what the rest of her story was supposed to be and frankly, she didn’t care.

When Anita went through the songs that she wrote as a teenager, she found a song she had written after she buried her mother. Her mother’s death came as a shock to her because she had begged her mother never to leave without her and her

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mother promised her she would stay. That morning when Anita discovered her mother had taken her own life all she could think of was, “You left.” The lyrics to Anita’s song were:

Is that really you lying there? A lifeless body all covered in white. All the people around your coffin But they’ll never miss you like I will. Can you hear me from where you are? Can you hear me from where you are? Let me tell you once again I love you. Let me tell you once again I need you. Let me tell you once again I miss you.

This book was about closure for Anita. It was about connecting the dangling threads of broken stories in her past to discover insights about her future. It’s also a story about a mother-daughter relationship—learning to see our mothers not just in their role as mom, but also as women with dreams of their own.

The publishing of this book was God’s timing as it was completed at the exact same time God called Anita’s father home. For the longest time, Anita hesitated to share the story too publicly for fear it would bring back too many painful memories for her father. But with her father no longer here, Anita sensed God giving the green light to go full steam ahead.

We all have different stories and your story is different than Anita’s. But in every story there are common elements. Three common elements are:

1. No story is an island. Our stories were influenced by the stories of significant people in our lives and by events that collided with our lives.

2. We all long for a story that ends well. 3. No matter how much we try to run from the past, it holds insights for our

future.

If you need a comeback story, if you need closure, if you desire greater understanding of your own mother as a fellow sojourner in the journey of life, Anita’s prayer is that in traveling with her through her story, you will find the courage to understand your own story. Hopefully, this study will give you insights and courage to finish well.

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There are seven chapters in the book. Today, we will be exploring a bible study that corresponds to Chapter 1: Born a Daughter. In our time together, we will look at four lessons for life learned from chapter 1.

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LESSON 1. Instead of agonizing over what should be, respond to what is. LEADER SAYS: Chapter 1 begins on one unsuspecting day when Anita’s mother took her own life. Let’s read the first paragraphs to chapter 1 of the book.

EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK I was seventeen the night it happened. It happened in Hong Kong, on an unsuspecting day in 1974, five months before I would leave for America to attend Mississippi University for Women on a long sought-after scholarship. It happened just before dawn, in the dim hours when the world still wears the blanket of night. In the bedroom I shared with my older sister, I woke up suddenly, hearing a wailing cry. My father was shouting my sister’s name. I shook her awake and we timidly groped our way through our house, our hearts pounding in the presence of the unknown. In the living room I stood frozen as my sister made her way into the kitchen. I heard my father’s ragged voice saying, “Quick! Get a knife! Cut her down!” as he held up her body to keep the rope from choking her any further. My mother had hung herself from the rafters. I stood in our living room, feeling like the ground beneath my feet was crumbling. America had been my mother’s dream. America had been all she had ever hoped for, the sole devotion of her scarred and broken life. And we were almost there. My sister and I had been accepted into college already, and we felt certain that we’d be able to help our parents make the crossing. After all those years of courageous dreaming and painful sacrifices, why had she given up now? With my father holding her ankles, my sister cut down her body. Blood and cords and limbs, all of us sobbing in this house, now wrapped in tragedy. Death covered me in all its heaviness and permanence. I felt helplessly trapped in the midst of this nightmare, asking myself questions that would consume me, night after night, for decades to come.

LEADER SAYS:

The book then takes the reader on a journey back into the days in China when Anita’s mother was born. Anita’s grandfather was always unemployed and her

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mother had to beg others to get food for her parents and four other siblings. As an adolescent, Anita’s mother took it upon herself to go and beg for food from a rich aunt. When she returned with a bag of rice, Anita recounts a scene between her mother and her grandmother. Lets read.

AN EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK Her mother ran to her, pulling her into the sooty kitchen with a look of puzzled, painful relief. “How did you get this?” “I went to Auntie’s house,” my mother said. Her mother clasped her close, stroking her hair in a rare display of affection. “My sweet girl,” she said. “My sweet girl, who understands the pain of this world.” “It’s okay,” she said. “Auntie’s not very nice.” “She’s terrible,” said her mother. “I’m sure she asked you to pay with your dignity for this food. Remember this: you know who your friends are when you have to beg for a bowl of rice.”

LEADER SAYS:

Anita’s mother was nine years old when she went to see her aunt to ask for help. Why did she feel compelled to be the one to go? Why didn’t she say like most kids do, “This is not fair! Why should I be the one to take care of things?” I don’t know why she didn’t have a pity party or live in the world of what-should-have-been. At a young age, Anita’s mother was able to assess the world as it was and also saw what needed to be done.

I wonder if today you are stuck in the depression of “what should be in your life” versus “what is.” Do you find yourself saying things like: “I should be further along than this!”, “I should be more successful by now!”, “I should have more money at this stage of my life!”, “I should be married by now!”, or “I should have kids by now!”? Do you agonize over what should be? Or, do you live in your current reality of what is and go on with what it takes to care for what God has entrusted to you today? Instead of agonizing over what should be, respond to what is.

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REFLECTION QUESTION 1 Have you ever found life unfair because you feel things should be different or that you should not be in the situation you are in? What actions can you take to respond to the current challenges in your life as you assess them to be today? What can you do to stop wasting emotional energy agonizing over what life should be?

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LESSON 2. To whom more is given, more is required.

LEADER SAYS: Anita’s mother was born into a culture in China that was highly patriarchal.

Mencius, an ancient Chinese philosopher, said a woman must submit to her father in youth, her husband in adulthood, and her son in old age.

Confucius emphasized the importance of the family name being passed down from one generation to the next. This meant a son was esteemed to be more important than a daughter since the daughter does not carry on the family’s name when she marries. To many families, sons were worth investing in but daughters were a waste of one’s resources. Sons were viewed as future leaders and daughters were only good for domestic labor.

Interestingly, in a patriarchal culture, Anita’s mother took on the responsibility of providing bread for the family. She was like the warrior daughter in the movie “Mulan” (Disney & Bancroft/Cook, 1998), who disguised herself as a male warrior. When China required every family to send a male to fight in the army, Mulan went on behalf of her father who was too weak to fight. In a way, Anita’s mother was the warrior daughter in disguise to provide bread for her family. Anita found out that up until the day her mother died, she had been supporting 18 people in China. It would seem that for someone who sacrificed so much, she would be esteemed highly. But she spent most of her life feeling rejected and inferior.

How many women do you know who give everything and walk around feeling unappreciated? Do you find yourself performing, but no matter how hard you serve you still feel it’s never enough?

Jesus cured the ten lepers but only one returned to say thank you. Jesus gave up everything, and in the grand finale of his life, no one that He had poured His life into was at the cross except John and his mother. But Jesus never felt inferior. He was empowered knowing God was pleased with Him. And so it must be for those who are called to be Jesus’ disciples. Our accolades come from God. It is when we serve for His eyes only that we will find our peace.

Jesus was God’s Son, picked by the Father to save the world. He was the son who served as Savior. Jesus’ story is repeated on a smaller scale in many families. In many families, there arises an individual who serves as the family’s savior. This

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person gets to rescue everyone else who makes bad choices or who chooses to be irresponsible.

Does God view such a person as someone who models after Christ by being selfless for the good of others? Or does God view this person as missing out on God’s real purpose because he or she is too busy enabling bad behavior by taking care of everyone else’s bad decisions? What is the answer? The answer is “It depends.” If God already has a call on your life, then you are not free to go and rescue everyone else who makes bad choices in their lives if it takes you away from your calling. But for some of us, part of our calling may be to show mercy and compassion to those in our family.

BIBLE REFERENCE: Luke 12:48 From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked. LEADER SAYS:

Many years ago, Anita took her dog to a dog trainer. When she returned to pick up the dog, the trainer said, “Your dog will always be 80%.” Anita said, “What does that mean?” He said, “If you ask her to do something, she will obey 8 out of 10 times. That’s your dog’s capacity.” Then he said, “I have trained dogs that are 100%. I can count on that dog to obey 10 out of 10 times, but your dog…It’s really stretching it to expect more than 8 out of 10 times.” That trainer’s feedback really made Anita think about capacity in humans. Could it be that even in our successes, we can’t pat ourselves on the back? Could it be that our ability to succeed is a gift from God?

Perhaps some people have been given more—more wisdom, more discipline, more perseverance. Maybe if you really wanted your dream, you should work day and night until the dream becomes a reality. But it’s easy for some people to say that because God gave some people the discipline to work day and night for a dream.

Anita’s mother trained her to work hard, but if you are a parent you know that even when you train up your children, they don’t all take to the training. Anita must have had a propensity to work hard. Even today, when Anita is working on a project, she can’t understand why her husband needs to take a break. She doesn’t understand why he needs to eat. He thinks she’s strange. She thinks he’s strange. Well, no one is strange. We are just different. And God uses every one of us to

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accomplish His purpose. Each of us needs to understand what it means to give God our best and not resent someone else who doesn’t have the capacity to persevere as long.

The pattern of being the one to save the family continued throughout Anita’s mother’s life. Even as her siblings got older, she was still the one who took care of the family. Perhaps she was given more mercy, more courage, more generosity, more grace. Anita never knew her to be resentful. To whom more is given, more is required.

REFLECTION QUESTION 2 Who in your family usually rises up to save the day? What does the scripture from Luke 12:48 mean to you? “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” How do you define enabling someone to continue problem behavior versus using what God has given you to express mercy?

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LESSON 3. Respond to God’s voice, not from insecurities of broken stories.

LEADER SAYS:

Anita felt bad when her mother expressed the shame she felt when she had to appeal for help. Anita grew up never wanting to be in a place where she needed to beg for bread. She was conditioned by her suffering to desire financial independence. So, guess how well that worked for Anita when God called her to start a non-profit organization that depends on financial support from others?

Because Anita’s mother felt powerless, Anita’s human flesh resisted any situation where she felt helpless or needed to depend on someone. She wanted to be the powerful one. She wanted to be partner of a company.

When Anita first heard the Christian message about laying down our lives to serve others, she didn’t want to be a servant. She thought, “I’ve been a servant enough in my life. I’ve been humbled enough. This is time for me to shine!”

God had to change how Anita defined power. He was teaching Anita that she was powerful but true power is when you no longer have to fight for your power. True power is when you know what you have and who you are and you have nothing to prove.

True power is when you know you are the daughter of the King and you have access to the Father. From this place of true power, you will no longer serve out of your emotional need to prove anything but you will serve as a daughter, who has a place of belonging in your heavenly Father’s family tree. The Apostle Paul tells us:

BIBLE REFERENCE: Philippians 2:5-8 Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death — even death on a cross!

LEADER SAYS: When you don’t identify the broken stories in your past, you’ll misinterpret

your gut reaction to God’s call. In my human reasoning I said, “This is not my call.

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I absolutely do not have any desire to start a non-profit organization! I absolutely know God has not called me to raise money!”

But when I set human conditioning aside and learned to respond from the

Bible, I learned that God chooses whom He will send to meet a need. God sent me to His daughters and specifically to provide them with the inspiration and the resources to empower them to live at their God given potential to change our world for Christ. But before I could answer God’s call in my life, He had to change my thinking about asking for help. He had to show me that when I serve Him, I am not begging for support because He owns everything. I simply get to go in His name the same way the disciples went and asked for the colt and said without apology, “The Lord has need of it!”

EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK …With my childhood shaped by my mother’s story, does it surprise you that I have never felt well prepared for new beginnings, especially one that required me to be dependent on others? Maybe there are other women out there like this—women who fear change, because they are still searching for stable roots. Maybe you’re like this too. I was drawn to corporate life because it gave me a well-defined niche and a finite, predictable job description. I had believed in God since I was a child, but I had never dreamed of placing all my hopes in Him in this way. I wasn’t sure if I could trust God to be sufficient when I was still wrestling with the many ways my mother had fallen, utterly alone, with no one to help her, not even the God she believed in.

But I chose the nonprofit. I chose Inspire Women. I chose to accept the reality that I had always resisted: that God had been targeting my deepest vulnerabilities in the process of showing me my greatest calling. I stopped allowing my emotional baggage to hold me hostage from what could be. I threw myself into the nonprofit, without a safety net, without a headquarters, without staff, without anything in the bank. All I had was the mission God placed in my path and a conviction that I had no other choice but to build it.

And, if you can believe it, everything followed from there in time.

LEADER SAYS: Our broken stories create the fears in our lives. It makes us think in terms of “I

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never want to go back to that neighborhood!”, “I never want to need anything from anyone!”, “I never want to get close to anyone again!” It could be your own pain you have experienced or it could be pain you saw on someone else’s face like I saw in my mother’s face. The result is the same: We all want to avoid pain. But what if our need to avoid pain is keeping us from God’s greater plan for our lives? Respond to God’s voice, not from insecurities of broken stories.

REFLECTION QUESTION 3 What fears or insecurities do you see in yourself that were in your mother? Are your fears warranted based on your life and current situation? Or are you living in your mother’s world and detached from your own?

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LESSON 4. God’s work advances in spite of imperfections of any culture.

LEADER SAYS:

Anita’s mother went to work at a hotel at age 14. She was raped by a businessman at the hotel. In the book, she describes the desolation her mother felt: EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK …She couldn’t tell anyone. The shame would be too cruel to her parents. The neighbors would call her a whore. Her family would have to abandon her. Then what would she do? Her only choice was to not tell anyone. That night, and for many nights afterwards, she couldn’t sleep.

LEADER SAYS:

An article published in China Daily USA on April 18, 2011 entitled “Rape victims choose silence over losing face” (Uking, 2011) reported that the Chinese culture views rape as something you should be ashamed of and therefore should keep to yourself. The victim is rejected by society and the woman is viewed as being responsible for the rape. Many women just stay silent in order to protect their reputation.

The culture we are born into affects our lives a great deal. We are affected by how our culture views our gender, race, or the roles we should have in our society. A girl born in the United States is not the same as a girl born in China or in India. A girl born in present-day United States culture is not the same as a girl born at a time when women in the United States could not vote or go to college. Our lives are certainly affected by the culture into which we were born. God does not apologize for when we are born. He is intentional as to when and where we are born. He is fully aware of the times and culture we are born into.  

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BIBLE REFERENCE: Acts 17:26-28 From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. 'For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'

 

LEADER SAYS: Based on Acts 17:26-28, we know that God intentionally put us on earth at

this time and place. He does not view our culture as an asset or a liability but as an attribute that is part of our uniqueness and something He will use as part of His plan for us.

Anita’s mother was voiceless in a culture that rejected her. Anita spent many years living in her mother’s experience and feeling like her thoughts didn’t matter. She expected people to walk over her. In fact, when someone took her seat, instead of saying “Excuse me but that was my seat,” her first impulse was to give up her seat.

Anita grew up in a male dominated culture where she continuously received the message that she was not as significant as men. She did not feel valued. She felt she was at the mercy of the powerful people around her who could choose to show her favor or leave her.

When God opened the doors for Anita in corporate America, she finally found a place that she felt the most free. Companies were very bottom line. Whoever came up with ideas that made money was valued. She received accolades in corporate America and found that co-workers looked past her gender and race. They wanted a teammate who could help them succeed in their projects.

Then, God called Anita into ministry and she felt she had gone backwards in time. The fact is, some leaders embraced her and others shunned any woman with leadership capability. It was a real culture shock for her when God called her to be Founder and President of a women’s ministry. A prominent Christian leader accused her of not being a good steward of God’s resources because if she had a dollar to spend, why would she spend it on the women? He said that dollar should be invested in the men.

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Anita saw how God used the culture in which she was raised to give her the unique strengths she needed to lead Inspire Women to success. You cannot bring healing in your community and inspire unity if you don’t respect different cultures. Because she was raised in a culture where she was not invited to speak out, she is more able than other women to keep her mouth shut. She learned that keeping your mouth shut is a real gift. She learned that God’s message gets through in any culture. You just need to find the right way to say it.

These days, Anita has heard through the grapevine that male dominated organizations have respect for Inspire Women as a serious partner in ministry. They don’t see Inspire Women as trying to get power, they see Inspire Women as servant leaders who are just trying to help. Anita learned that even when you have something worthwhile to say, you might come across as aggressive and scare everyone. When you come from a culture where you were not invited to speak out, you tend to request permission to speak first. That kind of attitude gets your voice heard because people need to get past their fear of you before they can hear you. Today, Inspire Women has a voice because they don’t scare anyone. Inspire Women are a force in the city to bless everyone.

To live God’s purpose, Anita had to trust God to use the very culture that affected her to train her to become a vessel that He could use. The imperfections in our culture cannot break us. God can use any imperfection to develop our values, strength, and His message for the world. God’s work advances in spite of imperfections of any culture

Let’s turn the discussion towards you. You were born in a specific city. You were born into a culture that has its views about women in leadership. You may be facing limitations because of your gender or because of a culture that imposes artificial limitations on you based on attributes that have nothing to do with your success. God is not afraid of culture. God works His plans in the midst of any culture.

REFLECTION QUESTION 4 Are you excited to be born in this time and age? If so, why? If not, why not? What do you see as empowering or limiting because of the time in history in which you were born?

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SUMMARY • Instead of agonizing over what should be, respond to what is. Don’t waste

emotional energy agonizing over what should be. Instead, focus your energies on what is and build from your current reality.

• To whom more is given, more is required. Stop resenting those who are not doing enough. Instead, embrace your gift and know that when God has given you more wisdom, more perseverance, more discipline, more resources, He has raised you up to model after your Savior to save your family, ministry, or business.

• Respond to God’s voice, not from insecurities of broken stories. When you identify broken stories in your past, you will be in tune with your emotional triggers and make decisions according to God’s Word and not your own emotional vulnerabilities.

• God works advances in spite of imperfections of any culture. God decided when in history we will be born. He does not see how our culture views us as a liability but as an opportunity to show Himself powerful in any culture.

CONCLUSION

LEADER SAYS: Today, Anita has peace in her heart knowing that she did not leave any part of

her behind. She has walked back into the rubble to salvage her strengths while leaving behind her limitations. Although her mother has been gone many years, Anita saw how God picked up a broken mother-daughter story and redeemed them both. She is in a good place and her mother is in a good place and it is well with their souls.

Anita found a poem by the poet David Romano that expresses so clearly what God has allowed to happen in her relationship with her mother. Lets end with an excerpt from the poem entitled “A Letter from Heaven” or “When Tomorrow Starts Without Me” (Romano, 1993):

When tomorrow starts without me, And I’m not here to see, If the sun should rise and find your eyes, filled with tears for me.

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I wish so much you wouldn’t cry, the way you did today. While thinking of the many things, we didn’t get to say. I know how much you love me, as much as I love you. And each time you think of me, I know you’ll miss me too. When tomorrow starts without me, don’t think we’re far apart, for every time you think of me, I’m right there in your heart.

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REFERENCES

Disney Feature Animation (Producer). Tony Bancroft & Barry Cook

(Directors) (1998). Mulan [Motion picture]. United States: Disney-MGM Studios. Uking (2011, April 18). Rape victims choose silence over losing face. China

Daily USA. Retrieved from http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2011-04/18/content_12348011.htm

Romano, David. (1993). When Tomorrow Starts Without Me. Retrieved from

http://heavens-gates.com/inmemorygray/

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MEDITATIVE TIME & REFLECTION QUESTIONS LEADER SAYS:

Now, we will enter the meditative part of our study. The meditative bible study will help you receive what God wants to say to you. This way, we are not just rushing from bible study to bible study, but we take the time to let God’s Holy Spirit transform us. We believe that the Holy Spirit is the most powerful teacher. So, we want to give time for the Holy Spirit to confirm or to adjust the answers we have written down to our reflection questions.

As I play the meditative music, I will reread the reflection questions that were part of our study today. I will pause in between each question to give the Holy Spirit time to speak to you. When the music stops, I invite you to jot down any new thoughts or changes to the answers on your reflection question sheet. We will, then, go into small groups and give you a chance to share what you learned with your group. Please, close your eyes as we enter our meditative time.

[LEADER PLAYS MUSIC WHILE READING EACH QUESTION. PAUSE IN

BETWEEN EACH QUESTION FOR MEDITATION]

REFLECTION QUESTION 1: Have you ever found life unfair because you feel things should be different or that you should not be in the situation you are in? What actions can you take to respond to the current challenges in your life as you assess them to be today? What can you do to stop wasting emotional energy agonizing over what life should be? [PAUSE]

REFLECTION QUESTION 2: Who in your family usually rises up to save the day? What does the scripture from Luke 12:48 mean to you? “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” How do you define enabling someone to continue problem behavior versus using what God has given you to express mercy? [PAUSE]

REFLECTION QUESTION 3: What fears or insecurities do you see in yourself that were in your mother? Are your fears warranted based on your life and current situation? Or are you living in your mother’s world and detached from your own? [PAUSE]

REFLECTION QUESTION 4: Are you excited to be born in this time and age? If so, why? If not, why not? What do you see as empowering or limiting because of the time in history in which you were born? [PAUSE]

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REFLECTION QUESTIONS Response Sheet

Print and distribute this response sheet to participants of this bible study to record their responses.

REFLECTION QUESTION 1: Have you ever found life unfair because you feel things should be different or that you should not be in the situation you are in? What actions can you take to respond to the current challenges in your life as you assess them to be today? What can you do to stop wasting emotional energy agonizing over what life should be?

REFLECTION QUESTION 2: Who in your family usually rises up to save the day? What does the scripture from Luke 12:48 mean to you? “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” How do you define enabling someone to continue problem behavior versus using what God has given you to express mercy?

REFLECTION QUESTION 3: What fears or insecurities do you see in yourself that were in your mother? Are your fears warranted based on your life and current situation? Or are you living in your mother’s world and detached from your own?

REFLECTION QUESTION 4: Are you excited to be born in this time and age? If so, why? If not, why not? What do you see as empowering or limiting because of the time in history in which you were born?