A Date with Perfectionism: What & How?
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Dr. Ricci W. FONG Hong Kong Institute of Education February 23, 2013 A Date with Perfectionism
description
This is a presentation designed to provide an overview of the characteristics and impact of perfectionism on student development, particularly for the gifted and talented ones. Strategies for countering maladaptive perfectionism are also introduced with examples and tasks.
Transcript of A Date with Perfectionism: What & How?
Dr. Ricci W. FONG
Hong Kong Institute of Education
February 23, 2013
A Date with Perfectionism
• What is perfectionism?
• Are you a perfectionist?
• How can we get along?
• Talk Time!
HE/SHE IS...
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perfectionism/pəˈfek.ʃən.ɪ.zəm//pɚ-/ noun [U ]
1.the wish for everything to be correct: Obsessive perfectionism can be very irritating. (Cambridge Advanced Dictionary)
2.a diagnostic criterion of obsessive-compulsive personality disorder in DSM-IV.
3.a personality style characterized by striving for flawlessness and setting of excessively high standards for performance accompanied by tendencies for overly critical evaluations of one's behavior. (Flett & Hewitt, 2002a; Frost, Marten, Lahart, & Rosenblate, 1990; Hewitt & Flett, 1991)
4.a phenomenon generally agreed to be multidimensional with positive and negative facets. (Stoeber & Otto, 2006)
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Perfectionists are high-achievers
All gifted students are perfectionistic
Perfectionism is only destructive
Perfectionists are terrible people!
MYTHSPerfectionists are high-achievers
All gifted students are perfectionistic
Perfectionism is only destructive
Perfectionists are terrible people!
HE/SHE IS...
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PERFECTIONISM & CHINESE
PERFECTIONISM & CHINESE
Li (2002)
Learning refers to a process of self-perfection, which involves seeking knowledge, cultivating a passion for lifelong learning, fostering diligence, enduring hardship, persistence, concentration, putting in great effort even in the face of barriers, and feeling shameful and guilty for one’s lack of desire to learn.
PERFECTIONISM & CHINESE
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PERFECTIONIST TYPES
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Zi (2003) Wang et al. (2007) Wang et al. (2009) Chan (2009) Chan (2010a)
Adaptive/PositiveMaladaptive/Negative
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PERFECTIONIST TYPES
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Rational Approach Clustering Approach
Adaptive PerfectionistsMaladaptive PerfectionistsNonperfectionists
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Rational Approach Clustering Approach
WHAT IS PERFECTIONISM?
Frost, Marten, Lahart, & Rosenblate (1990)Hamachek (1978)
Hewitt & Flett (1991)Slaney, Ashby, & Trippi (1995)
Maladaptive
• (Hyper)sensitivity to Mistakes
• Fear of Failure
• Excessive concern over their inability to meet the goals
Adaptive
• Realistically High Standards
• Order/ Organization/ Persistence
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Perfectionism
Psychological Well-Being
Coping Strategies
Academic Burnout/Engagement
Social Relations/Connectedness
Self-Perceptions
Goal Orientations
Academic Achievement
Life Satisfaction
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THE VAST IMPACT
Castro & Rice, 2003; Chan, 2007a; 2007b; Cheng, 2001; Cheng, Chong, & Wong, 1999; Fong & Yuen, 2009; Fong, 2012; Wang, Slaney, & Rice, 2007; Wang, Yuen, & Slaney, 2009; Yoon & Lau, 2008; Zhang, Gan, & Cham, 2007
ALL-OR-NOTHING MINDSET
ABSOLUTE TIDINESS
“PERFECT” IMAGE
THE “PERFECT” OTHERS
“We picture facts to ourselves.”
Ludwig Wittgenstein (Tractatus, 2.1)
How do you use your “magnifying glass”?
Look at the BIG picture!
MAKING HYPOTHESIS
I don’t want anybody to know about my results,
someone will get jealous and I may have secret
enemies.
If I raise my hand and my answer is wrong, the teacher
may think I’m not smart anymore and someone will
gossip that I’m always pretending to be a genius.
They won’t befriend with me if I perform too well at school.
If I don’t point out her mistakes, he will
think that she’s brilliant when she’s
not!
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Distraction
Reassurance seeking
Checking
Escaping from feared situations
Excessive organizing and list making
Denying
Are your perfectionistic thoughts exaggerated?
Are they thoughts true?
AVOIDANCE STRATEGIES
OVERCOMING MALADAPTIVE PERFECTIONISM
HOW MINDFUL ARE YOU?
BE MINDFUL
Presence
Trust
A Beginner’s Mind
Non-Striving
Non-Judging
Acceptance
Patience
Letting Go
RAISIN EXERCISE
THE STORY OF
AN EMPEROR MOTH
Allow imperfections - They can make you stronger!Persist and overcomeDoes it remind your of any personal experience?
THE STORY OF AN EMPEROR MOTH
I can never communicate with my classmates. They are too childish. Talking to them make others think that I'm childish and stupid like they are. So I never talk to them and they don't like me either. I'm alone at school and I think I'm better off alone.
What are your negative hypothesis?
Have you tested your hypothesis?
What are the advantages and disadvantages?
Is there a better way out?
What if...?
EXPOSURE EXPERIMENT
Danger Zone
Risk Zone
Comfort Zone
Simmons (2009)
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EXPOSURE EXPERIMENT
I try to greet them
I try to attend to the "good" things that
they do
I don't talk to them
Simmons (2009)
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EXPOSURE EXPERIMENT
Perfectionistic vs. Alternative Thoughts
It drives me crazy when my brother leaves his jacket lying on the floor.
I guess he will only leave it lying around for a week or so. It’s a small price to pay for an otherwise wonderful relationship.
I’m so upset that some pages of my notebook are crumpled by my classmate when she rubbed off what she wrote.
What’s done is done. She was just trying to keep my notes tidy. The notebook is otherwise still in good shape. Scolding her will do nothing, but make an enemy.
Situation: My group-mate didn’t do her part properly in
our group project.
Emotions: Anger, impatience
Perfectionistic Thoughts
Her work can never be good.
She is never serious with work!
She cannot be counted on for anything!
She has never done anything helpful! Four months ago...
Perfectionism Diary
Perfectionism DiaryWhen? What happened?
What emotions did you experience?
Perfectionistic Thoughts
Alternative Thoughts
Evaluate your perfectionistic thoughts
Choose a more realistic and helpful perspective
Perfectionistic vs. Alternative Thoughts
She has never done anything helpful.
She is actually quite easy-going and she seems to perform better in hands-on tasks.
Getting mad at her didn’t help the situation at all, but I’m sick of taking up the entire GROUP PROJECT again!!!...
We all have different strengths and weaknesses. We shall rethink our division of labor...
Perhaps I can focus on the writing bit and she can go out to take photos...
IF I were her...
IF I were her friend...
TAKING ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE
To prevent the behaviors that you use to protect yourself from feeling uncomfortable or to prevent the bad things from happening
Do you...
Excessively check your work?
Look at your watch often?
Constantly check the behaviors of other people?
RESPONSE PREVENTION
Look at the big picture vs. Use your “magnifying glass”
Understand & evaluate the evidence for your beliefs/
thoughts
Learn to take (small) risk
Use coping statements & choose a realistic perspective
Take another person’s perspective
Think ahead and prepare
COGNITIVE STRATEGIES
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“No one who can rise before dawn 360 days a year fails to make his family rich”
The Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell
A Final Note
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/bobby_mcferrin_hacks_your_brain_with_music.html
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