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66%men wanttheir wives tobe at leastgraduates

33%men want apostgraduatewife

50%women wanthusbands tobe postgraduates

25%womendesirehusbandswith a PhD

24%women wantMBAs orgraduates ashusbands

62%women wantpartner’sfamily to bewelleducated

MUMBAI | WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 2010

www.dnaindia.com | epaper.dnaindia.com 7CITY SPICE

Humaira Ansari

It is no longer about looks andmoney. It’s education that isplaying on the minds ofprospective mates. At leastthat is what a recently con-cluded survey conducted by amatrimonial website, releasedon International Literacy Day(September 8), suggests.

The matrimonial portalShaadi.com conducted aweek-long poll, ‘Literally, IDo’, to understand the mind-sets and partner preferencesof prospective brides andgrooms with regards to edu-cation and literacy. Interest-ingly enough, of over 2,000 re-spondents from Mumbai —out of a nationwide total of8,895 members surveyed —42% said they would wanttheir partners to be post grad-uates, and nearly 58% revealed that a similar educa-tional background of theprospective partner would in-fluence their final decision.“It is important for me thatmy wife is educated. If youwant to set up home in a citylike Mumbai, both partnersneed to be working to finan-cially contribute towards run-ning a home and to maintaina certain lifestyle,” reasons28-year-old Tanmay Mehra, acity-based businessman andone of the respondents.

While 66% men said theywould want their wives to beat least graduates, 33% mensaid that they would take onlya post graduate woman astheir wife. Gourav Rakshit,business head, Shaadi.com,

who conceptualised the sur-vey, contents that when itcomes to marriages, womenhave traditionally been par-ticular about their partner’seducation.

The poll also revealed thateducational background ofthe respective families playsas important a role. This es-pecially held true for womenas 62% of the city-based fe-males admitted to their deci-sion to marry being largelydependent on how well-edu-cated her prospective hus-band’s family is. Take 26-year-old software engineer PriahFernandes for instance. Shehas no qualms in admittingthat she would want her in-laws to be upwardly mobile. “Ihang around with people whoare well-educated and I wouldwant to show off my in-lawsto my circle,” she says. Sheadds that educated in-lawsalso mean that they come

with broadmindedness and arational perspective.

When it came to choosingtheir partners, 50% womensaid they would want theirhusbands to be post graduates,followed by 25% women whodesired husbands with a PhD.For some women, it works bet-ter if the husband is also fromthe same field of work asthem. “I work late and I wouldnot want a husband who doesa 9-to-5 job, reaches home at 6and yells at me for workinglate hours,” says a respondent.

So does a more qualifiedwife trigger the male ego? Ac-cording to Mehra, that ispassé. He says the new manwould take a confident and astrong career-oriented womanas his wife. As an afterthoughthe adds, “God forbid if theyfall out, a strong educationalbackground ensures not onlyfinancial but also emotionalindependence for both.”

Uttarika Kumaran

Fresh after his recently-concludedannual trip to the sacred spot ofMount Kailash along with his fol-lowers from Isha Foundation, yogiand mystic Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudevwas in the city recently to conduct asatsang. DNA spoke to Sadhguruabout his thoughts on Mumbai’sspiritual condition.

Must one necessarily visit a placelike Mount Kailash to feel spirituallyblissful? Isn’t it possible to feel thatway living in Mumbai? Kailash is Kailash. You cannot sub-stitute it with Mumbai. Yes, you canpursue a spiritual process in Mum-bai but you’re going to Kailash be-cause of its mystical nature; to get ataste of that mysticism. You seesomething that does not fit into thelogical framework of your life be-come a living reality before youreyes. And that gives a strong impetusto the spiritual seeker.

In this city, there are some sectionswho strongly believe that they’redefined by the place of their birth.What is your view on this? The biggest malady that human be-ings suffer from is that they try toget identified with things thatthey’re not. And the moment you dothat, you’ve lost the perspective oflife. It may help to survive, to starta certain social unit, like a family ora nation. These are identities wehave taken on for practical purpos-es, which is perfectly fine. But be-lieving you are these identities —it’s a very debilitating disease. It’smade human beings so small and

they could have been so big. Youidentify with your body, your lan-guage, your gender, caste or creed.And the more you do that, the nar-rower you’re becoming. Essentially,you’re a piece of life and that’s theway you’re supposed to exist. If youcannot be flexible, I think in manyways, humanity is doomed.

Do you see yourself creating a yogacentre like the one in Coimbatore inMumbai?

We may create wellness centreswhich will work wonderfully well.But to consecrate a space, to create anatmosphere of self-transformation re-quires more than just a building andsome people inside it; it requires a dif-ferent level of involvement. I don’t seethat happening right now.

What if you were givenadministrative control of Mumbai?What would you do with that power? The city creates a number of hurdles

for people from fulfilling their fullpotential. People spend half theirtime on the streets commuting,meaning half the things they coulddo in their lives is replaced by sittingand fretting about, say, the traffic. I’dlike to identify these hurdles whichblock people and remove themwhichever way I can.

What do you feel Mumbai needsright now to become more spirituallyaware?

Improve the weather! It’s too muggy.(laughs) But seriously. People think,oh, I live a material life, why do I needspirituality? How well a race carfunctions on the tracks depends onhow well it is maintained in the pits.When you’re living a fast-paced life,it’s even more important to maintainyourself at the highest spiritual lev-el. You have no choice in it. It’s notdependent on your desire; it’s de-pendent on your competence andyour capabilities.

‘If you live a material life, you willneed spirituality even more’ Dealing with early adoles-

cence, mall hopping for newclothes under peer pressureand finding it difficult to giveup on certain habits, parentsare faced with a myriad chil-dren- related issues, of whichclinical psychologist SeemaHingorrany addresses a few

Every time we think of afamily outing, my eight year-old simply wants to visit amall. He is the least bitinterested in going to parksor playgrounds. Though I amok with taking him to a mall, Idon’t want him to cut off fromother things. How do I gethim out of his mall craze?At this age children are start-ing to become aware of therelikes and dislikes. Most 8 yearolds tend to be rebellious. Youhave to be a bit patient withhim. He has probably been tomore malls than playgrounds,so this behaviour patternneeds to be unlearned. Makesure that you as parents arevery pro-active and includehim on every outdoor visitthat you have.

My 10-year-old has taken a fancy to expensive cologne,hair mousse and gels. Some ofhis friends wear them, and hewants them too. I don’t feel it’sthe right age for him to stylehis hair with gels and mousse.How do I make him see thepoint?Your child is entering theworld of adolescence. Adoles-cence essentially begins whenphysiologically normal pu-berty starts, leading to manyhormonal changes in the body.This period of developmentcorresponds roughly to the pe-riod between the ages of 10and 19 years. This is the timewhen peer influence takesplace. During this time,friends often influence taste

in music, clothes or hair-styles, as well as the activitiesin which youngsters choose toparticipate. Don’t sound crit-ical of his choices. Some-times, just very casually men-tion to him about what youfeel of his choice.

My daughter is an avid reader.But of late she is gone a bitoverboard. She already hasspectacles with high power.Just recently when I asked herto slow down a bit, she was hid-ing her book and reading un-der her bed sheet cover, whichis even worse for her eyes. Idon’t wish to force her out ofit, neither do I want her to stopreading completely. How do Itell her to exercise some con-trol over it?I understand your concern.This can just be a phase, soplease don’t worry. You shouldtry to restore balance in herlife by incorporating somefamily time. You as a familycan play scrabble, cards orany indoor games which shelikes. Make sure her readingtime is for one-and-a-half-hour and not more than that.This will give her self-control.Psychologist also say that,cooking along with kids likebaking a cake together ormaking a pizza helps the family bond better.

Cooking along withkids help bond better

Joanna Lobo

When Aasma lead singer Va-sudha Sharma came across aFacebook competition, shecasually shot a home video ofa self-composition ‘God Doesit All’ and sent it across. Afew days later, Sharma wasinformed that she would bethe opening act. Sharma hadno idea of the magnitude ofthe competition. Only aftergetting the call did she lookup the competition to discov-er that she was going to bethe first Indian artisteto open at none other thanthe POPKOMM Music Festi-val, a part of the Berlin Music Week.

Sharma was one of the 461entries that made their way toMusic2deal.com, an interna-tional music networking sitethat launched its India chap-ter this year.

Right now, Sharma is hardat work putting together her40-minute opening act leavingher with little time for any-

thing else. “The feeling isoverwhelming but I am justgoing to do my thing. Singingand performing comes naturally to me,” she says.

Apart from the opening act,Sharma will also give a 20-minute special performancefor the delegates. “My whole

act will be acapella, featuringall original compositions, withpercussion thrown in,” shesays; a guitarist friend will ac-company her. “It’s an entirelive music act starting with vo-cals, with bass, kick and har-mony, the chorus and some elements of beatboxing,” says

the ‘one-woman band’. Herskill with the loop station isprobably what set Sharmaapart from finalists like De-monic Resurrection, JunkyardGroove, Rishi Dhir and thefirst runners-up, Shkabang.

One thing about her per-formance is sure, “there isgoing to be something Indianin there, albeit with Westerninstruments. I want to bringforth the musical culture ofthe country, and if given achance, talk about it”. Shar-ma has trained in classicalmusic for three years andcounts her aunt, a folksinger, as her guide. Havingpicked up her guitar skillswhile part of her collegeband and from YouTubeclasses, Sharma’s biggest in-fluence is Alanis Morissette,“particularly in the way Irender my voice”.

With the festival startingtoday, Sharma is kicked aboutthe fact that “this could opena lot of avenues for otherartists to perform abroad”.

Putting her act together for BerlinSinger Vasudha Sharma will open at the POPKOMM Music Festival in Berlin, today

Sharma will be the first Indian artiste to open thePOPKOMM Music Festival

Increasing costs make menconsider equally qualified mates

A nationwidesurvey carried

out by aprominent

marriage portalsays men are

increasinglylooking for a

well-qualifiedmatch who cansupplement the

householdincome

(Clockwise from right) Mount Kailash isrevered by variousreligions as a sacredspot of ancientknowledge; Close to600 peopleaccompaniedSadhguru to MountKailash in August thisyear; SadhguruVasudev was recentlyin the city to conducta satsang

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Seema HingorranyClinical psychologist

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