7 Habits of 7 Habits of Highly Effective Highly Effective

TeensTeensWeekly Lessons – Week 8Weekly Lessons – Week 8

Habit 5 – Seek 1Habit 5 – Seek 1stst to Understand, Then to Understand, Then to be Understoodto be Understood

Before I can walk in another’s shoes, I Before I can walk in another’s shoes, I must first remove my own. - Unknownmust first remove my own. - Unknown

You have two ears and one mouth, use You have two ears and one mouth, use them accordingly.them accordingly.

Five Poor Listening Styles – Five Poor Listening Styles – Spacing OutSpacing Out

We are too caught up in our own We are too caught up in our own thoughts to listen to what someone is thoughts to listen to what someone is trying to say to us.trying to say to us.

Five Poor Listening Styles – Five Poor Listening Styles – Pretend ListeningPretend Listening

We don’t listen, but pretend to instead.We don’t listen, but pretend to instead.

Five Poor Listening Styles – Five Poor Listening Styles – Selective ListeningSelective Listening

We pick out part of what someone says We pick out part of what someone says and run with it. and run with it.

Five Poor Listening Styles – Five Poor Listening Styles – Word ListeningWord Listening

We take the words at face-value and do We take the words at face-value and do not look at the true meaning.not look at the true meaning.

Five Poor Listening Styles – Five Poor Listening Styles – Self-CenteredSelf-Centered

See everything from our own point of view. See everything from our own point of view. “I know exactly how you feel!” “I know exactly how you feel!”

This can sometimes turn into This can sometimes turn into “competition.”“competition.”

We often JUDGE what people say.We often JUDGE what people say.

We ADVISE them on what to do without We ADVISE them on what to do without being asked.being asked.

We PROBE them when they are not We PROBE them when they are not receptive or ready for it.receptive or ready for it.

Listening in ActionListening in ActionSister – “I don’t like our new school at all. Ever Sister – “I don’t like our new school at all. Ever since we moved I’ve felt like the biggest outcast. I since we moved I’ve felt like the biggest outcast. I wish I could find some new friends.”wish I could find some new friends.”

Categorize each of these types of responses for Categorize each of these types of responses for poor listening by her Brother – poor listening by her Brother – ““Pass the Cheetos.”Pass the Cheetos.” ““Sounds great.”Sounds great.” ““Speaking of friends, my friend Bart…”Speaking of friends, my friend Bart…” ““What you need to do is start meeting new people.”What you need to do is start meeting new people.” ““You’re not trying hard enough.”You’re not trying hard enough.” ““Are you having trouble with your grades?”Are you having trouble with your grades?”

Genuine Listening – Listen With Genuine Listening – Listen With Your Eyes, Heart and Ears.Your Eyes, Heart and Ears.

Only 7% of communication is in the words Only 7% of communication is in the words we use.we use.

53% is in body language.53% is in body language.

40% is in the tone, or how we say the 40% is in the tone, or how we say the words.words.

Genuine Listening – Stand In Genuine Listening – Stand In Their ShoesTheir Shoes

Everyone views situations, the world Everyone views situations, the world around them, in a different way from around them, in a different way from someone else.someone else.

Genuine Listening – Practice Genuine Listening – Practice MirroringMirroring

Summarize what you think they saidSummarize what you think they said

Do NOT mimicDo NOT mimic

Genuine Listening – Practice Genuine Listening – Practice MirroringMirroring

Mirroring Phrases:Mirroring Phrases: ““As I get it, you felt that…”As I get it, you felt that…” ““So, as I see it…”So, as I see it…” ““I can see that you’re feeling…”I can see that you’re feeling…” ““You feel that…”You feel that…” ““So, what you’re saying is…”So, what you’re saying is…”

Listening in ActionListening in ActionSister – “I don’t like our new school at all. Ever Sister – “I don’t like our new school at all. Ever since we moved I’ve felt like the biggest outcast. I since we moved I’ve felt like the biggest outcast. I wish I could find some new friends.”wish I could find some new friends.”

Categorize each of these types of responses for Categorize each of these types of responses for poor listening by her Brother – poor listening by her Brother –

““Pass the Cheetos.”Pass the Cheetos.” ““Sounds great.”Sounds great.” ““Speaking of friends, my friend Bart…”Speaking of friends, my friend Bart…” ““What you need to do is start meeting new people.”What you need to do is start meeting new people.” ““You’re not trying hard enough.”You’re not trying hard enough.” ““Are you having trouble with your grades?”Are you having trouble with your grades?”

Mirroring Responses – Mirroring Responses – ““You feel that school’s kind of tough right now.” You feel that school’s kind of tough right now.” ““It’s the worst. I mean I don’t have any friends…”It’s the worst. I mean I don’t have any friends…”

Communicating with Communicating with ParentsParents

Then Seek to be UnderstoodThen Seek to be Understood

HabitsHabits

Baby StepsBaby Steps