Much has been said over the course of recent years in the comment pages about the sorry state of student politics in Cambridge. According to the naysayers, apathy and carelessness rule the day – CUSU is pointless, CULC and CUCA are great for those that love them, but, well there is a very small proportion of people who do. The Union supplies a forum for a lot of grandstanding and allows the next generation of would-be Jeremy Paxmans to impress their girlfriends with pithy witticisms, but that’s about all. And then there’s college politics. Our own student union, TCSU. When our most recent president, the illustrious Tom Coker, was elected, Varsity thought it was a sorry day for democracy indeed.

Are the pundits right? Have the current generation of students proven themselves too lazy and uninterested to deserve candidates who are actually worthy of their positions anymore? To be honest, if we go on experience of our own lovely TCSU in the last few years, the arrow is pointing to yes. Trinity is the largest college in Cambridge; it has educated leaders like Nehru and King George VI, and yet the state of our student union gives cause to despair. Don’t get me wrong, through the years the individuals occupying certain posts have done good things, but it is hard not to get the impression that TCSU as a collective does little more than organise Fresher’s Week (sometimes not all that well) and hold the occasional open meeting that no-one really attends.

Any kind of concerted campaign seems beyond its capability; and yet a few are sorely needed. What happened to fighting for compensation for kitchen hobs? Just last

week King’s College Student Union (communists or not, they get things done) won the right to re-install hobs into some gyp rooms after “months of deliberation” with college authorities and the council. Those who remain without their hobs will be compensated. TCS reports that some King’s students refused to pay their college bill until the situation was rectified. I find it hard to believe that TCSU could manage “months of deliberation” without imploding, but I find it equally as hard to believe that Trinity students would protest in the way King’s have done either. The absence of hobs now seems to be accepted with nothing but a few words of complaint to our roommates. Likewise, when will something ever be done about improving safety for those who have to walk back to Burrell’s Field late at night? No lighting down the Avenue is a bad start, but forcing students to walk the length of Burrell’s Walk

Big TCSignsOff

Issue No 6Friday February 1 2008 travisty.co.uk

The Independent Trinity Newspaper since 2007

IN BRIEF 2

FEATURES 4

SOCIETIES 7

Kindly sponsored by

3 6

NewYear’s

Resolutions

The Travisty

Top 10 5

Election TimeAs elections for the new TCSU committee take place, outgoing editor Joanna Heath asks why we don’t care very much anymore.

2 IN BRIef friday february 1 2008 travisty.co.uk

(where police incidents are regularly reported) to get home when they may be by themselves at 1am in the morning and are drunk and vulnerable should not be acceptable. True, the college has proven themselves to be reticent about this issue in the past, but surely nothing worthwhile ever happens without any effort.

The outgoing president Tom Coker, like him as we may (he did revive Travisty, after all) has largely succeeded in his stated ambition to expose TCSU as a bit of a farce. His antics at Magpie & Stump and his ability to make the Dean angry have hardly helped the situation by further alienating those he represents – the student body – from the college authorities. And when things need to be done, cooperation

with the latter is what counts.

However, the blame does not only lay with TCSU, but also with Trinity students, who don’t seem to care enough to prompt their representatives to act. I’ve always found this curious, since there is hardly anyone in Trinity not involved in a society or sport, interested in current affairs and politics, or who lacks the ability to devote themselves to something worthy. But TCSU and college affairs do not seem worth the effort; and the sorry state of our student union is only a representation of this. Let’s hope that those candidates elected today are able to change that in some small way.

Oh dear!Trinny is

forced to work in the kitchens as part of her punishment

from the Dean.

Should Trinny reveal the true

identities of the kitchen staff to her friends and

help set them free? (Silvio does work

them hard...)

Vote at travisty.co.uk

2008 - a new year and a new beginning for Travisty with the election of a brand new committee. Myself and Adam Blacklay are stepping down from the roles of Editor and Deputy Editor and allowing some fresh faces to take over. At the Travisty AGM last Wednesday Fan Yang (previously

Features Editor) was elected as the new Editor. Along with her will be Georgia Hart as Features Editor and Secretary, Jase Taylor as photographer and Pete Calvert as webmaster. On February 4th there will be an open meeting at which changes to these roles may be made, so we’ll keep you posted (travisty.co.uk).

We’re pretty pleased with how Travisty has progressed so far this year; we hope you like it enough to keep it going well into the future.

Au Revoir,Jo Heath

Editor’s Letter

friday february 1 2008 travisty.co.uk IN BRIef 3

Spotted...........New Year’s ResolutionsTim Dey, Magpiety and resident college funnyman, tells us his plans for 2008 - see whether he sticks to them

1. Adopt a diet that consists of more than seedless grapes, pork pies and Famous Grouse.

2. Incorporate more exercise into my daily routine. I blame the Cambridge lifestyle for my current idleness – in a world where Burrell’s Field is considered an antisocial distance away from town, the idea of ‘going for a run’ is about as appealing as the idea of taking a blowtorch to my nipples.

3. Work through the 2551 unread emails sat in my Hermes acount, and respond to each one individually. Priority will be given to Prince Joe Akunye of Nigeria who has very generously offered me a 5% cut if I transfer some funds for him. And all he wants in return is my date of birth, national insurance number, home address, and inside leg measurement. What a hero.

4. Invent myself a nickname. ‘Hot buns’ has been suggested, but I’m more inclined towards ‘T-Diddy’.

5. Learn how to pull off a South African accent. To aid my subconscious learning, I’ve been listening to the soundtrack of ‘Blood Diamond’ while I sleep. (I first discovered this to be an effective method of learning when I fell asleep while watching ‘The Karate Kid’ and became convinced that I was in fact Mr Miyagi).

6. Read a book that doesn’t involve ginger wizards / autistic mathematicians / ginger, autistic mathematicians who wish they were wizards.

7. Stop referring to people with jobs as ‘Big People’. After all, barring a monumental aneurism in the exams (a not altogether unlikely proposition), I myself will become a ‘Big Person’ in little under six months. Well, in terms of employment status if not stature anyway…

8. Start a cult and recruit Vin Diesel as my Head Honcho. Scientology doesn’t stand a chance – Vin Diesel survives on a diet of cast iron bolts and the American Dream.

9. Tame the bulge. Apparently, 66% of Americans state weight loss as one of their New Year’s resolutions. I clearly have a very different understanding of ‘taming the bulge’…

10. Ensure that excellent standards of bladder control are maintained by all (both during Magpie & Stump debates and in the wider world – it’s become a personal crusade).

Bishop’s Hostel

New Court

Great Court

Nevile’s Court

A mystery nightclimber with a penchant for rubber ducks seems to have taken to showing off his skill by placing said ducks in odd places around college. We like to think that it is an appeal to the college authorities to free the Mallard, last seen in 2005 and now reportedly in the hands of those dastardly Buttery fiends. We here at Travisty fully support the campaign; and would like to offer the nightclimber advertising rights, if only he would tell us how the hell he got those ducks up there.

In Other News.....Jimmy Carr spotted walking around Great •Court the same day the rubber ducks were discovered - a link?Travisty described as ‘surprisingly liberal’ by •an unofficial guide to Cambridge colleges - we kind of like it as a tagline.

4 featuRes friday february 1 2008 travisty.co.uk

Miss Advise...Travisty’s resident agony aunt

What’s Hot>> 2008In 2007 two world records were broken: in Britain it was the wettest summer since precipitation records began in England and Wales in 1766; more importantly, it was also the warmest winter in the Northern Hemisphere since records began more than 125 years ago. With projections citing further temperature rises, I’m telling you that 2008 is going to be hot, for better or for worse.

>> Having Your Say!TCSU Elections are on Friday 1st February from 12pm-2pm and 6pm-8pm outside Hall. Since you are all legitimate members of TCSU and proud members of Trinity College go to Hall and make a difference!

>> FettyThis jewellery is AWESOME. Created by Justin Tranter, lead singer of camp American rock band Semi-Precious Weapons, his collection contains mainly pendants with great tarnished and bejewelled finishes. Kate Moss befriended this talented boy at Notting Hill Arts club and left with four of his designs. My favourite is his Zodiac range – get yours now!

>> SlackerThis service is releasing a portable media player which uses a Wi-Fi connection to help you discover new bands and musicians. It works by downloading new songs, based on your listening preferences, each time you enter a wi-fi hotspot or connect to your computer. Expecting release in the UK this month – get in.

Dear Miss Advise

The Christmas vacation has always provided me a place of solace, peace and tranquillity away from the pressure to perform which pervades in Trinity; it was only with such expectations that I could see myself managing to soldier on through what was, in all honesty, a particularly troubling trimester. This year, however, as my sanity ebbed away at an unprecedented rate, I tried in desperation to lighten my darkening mood with an act of seasonal frivolity, and thus entered the famed ‘Travisty’ Christmas Haiku competition.After hours of compositional toil, I submitted my poetry to the Travisty Committee for judgement. Like a forsaken hedgehog, marooned in the middle of Burrell’s Walk in the early evening and waiting to see whether or not an errant bicycle in the evening rush from the University Library will leave him smeared across the badly-laid tarmac, I waited for the results which were to come in the newspaper’s next edition.Imagine my horror when, on my last day in Cambridge before leaving for Christmas, the Committee’s decision (allegedly spurred on by the ill-judged opinion of a Deputy Editor) did not even mention my lowly entry. My hopes dashed and my confidence shattered, I left College in a murkier state-of-mind than when I composed my meticulously-manufactured masterpiece. After six weeks of introversion, and with my self-belief in tatters, how am I to face the challenges of another agonising eight weeks in Trinity?

Glum in Great Court

Dear Glum in Great Court

What an empty, sad and vacuous life you must lead. Indeed, unless you take my advice and make concerted efforts to improve the quality of your aspirations, I rather think that Burrell’s Walk hedgehog to which you refer with such dread may be in a far happier place than you ever shall be.

Yet this is not the worst of it. What concerns me most is that your unhealthy obsession with the fact that you lost the ‘Travisty’ Christmas Haiku competition seems to have also engendered an unfounded and irrational anger aimed at the Deputy Editor of this publication. I can assure you that the competition was judged entirely fairly, without a shread of bias or partiality in favour of any particular entrant. You must accept that your haiku, whilst bewildering and indicative of a somewhat disturbed mind, was simply not the best submission.

I cannot believe that your aims in life only reach as high as winning a Christmas Haiku competition. If you feel you deserve better, may I suggest that you take matters into your own hands. Perhaps compile a collection of your poetry and send it to a publisher. After all, this is the College that gave the world Lord Byron and Lord Tennyson. You may be the next Poet Laureate - what better vindication and revenge for you than to prove this to the Editorial Committee of ‘Travisty?’

Finally, please seek out a psychiatrist as quickly as possible. I fear that such extreme emotions at the loss of a light-hearted competition are the symptoms of a deeply ingrained mental irregularity.

With best wishes,Miss Advise

friday february 1 2008 travisty.co.uk featuRes 5

The Travisty Committee

Editor ............................................... Joanna HeathDeputy Editor .......................... Adam BlacklayFeatures Editor ..................................... Fan Yang

This Issue’s ContributorsAndy BrownTom Coker

Tim DeyNatalie Dixon

Joshua ErdeGeorgia HartValerie Nunis

Jase Taylor

What’s NotJOsHua eRDeImpartial Judge

Travisty Top 10>> New Year ResolutionsThe turn of a new year seems like a good opportunity to turn over a new leaf, but it is just like starting a diet on a Monday – it never works! Huge congratulations to everyone who has kept their resolution – you should feel shinily superior on reading this, but as for everyone else, I say that January 1st is not the only day on which you can decide to be a better person, so try any day this week - as long as it’s not Monday.

>> Political CorrectnessWhose afraid of the big bad wolf? Apparently the Bett Award judges, as they turned down a retelling of the ‘Three Little Pig’ fairytale on tenuous cultural grounds. It has been deemed offensive both to the “Asian community” because of the use of pigs; and the building community because “Is it true that all builders are cowboys, builders get their work blown down, and builders are like pigs?” Oh. My. God.

>> PrivacyFacebook has come under fire from Data Protection because once you delete your account, any information, although not accessible by other users, is still there on Facebook’s computers. The general feeling is that they could do more to safeguard people’s personal information. I guess we have no choice but to stay on Facebook then!

>>ChocolateOf the phone variety: the LG Chocolate. I’ve got one. It’s shit.

In a loving homage to The Varsity 100, Travisty proudly presents The Travisty 10 , the definitive guide on those most important and influential in Trinity.

>> Dave RubInLikes: Banter; chat; rugby leagueDislikes: Pork; boring people; real rugbyLikely to be seen: Charming a large group of women

>> Sam DobInLikes: Formals; reflections; runningDislikes: Banjos; ketchup; Lord CoeLikely to be seen: Chivalrously helping a young lady home after a few too many

>> SCaRLett CRèmeLikes: Cats; pineapple upside-down cake; world peaceDislikes: Small guys; public displays of affection; thespsLikely to be seen: At Booze for Jews

>> anDY WHebLeLikes: HimselfDislikes: People who don’t share his likesLikely to be seen: At Twickenham, two years from now, playing scrum-half for Scotland

>> LLeWLYn PILbeamLikes: Eating; babies; eating babiesDislikes:Low ceilings; Jenga; knittingLikely to be seen: From space

>> GeoRGIa HaRTLikes: Rugby players; shoes; shoesDislikes: Australians; gingerphobia; milk cartonsLikely to be seen: Wearing the trousers in her relationship

>> JameS STraWSonLikes: The letter ‘S;’ whistling; ergingDislikes: Solid food; binge drinking; ThursdaysLikely to been seen: Spooning with close friends

>> Joe FaRISHLikes: Haagen-Dazs; freshers; Access; Access to FreshersDislikes: BMI tests; Laos; see-sawsLikely to be seen: In Wolfson.

>> Tom CokeRLikes: His guns; cuddling; equationsDislikes: Shaving; traditional toilets; badgersLikely to be seen: In the bar

>> anDY DavIeSLikes: Mullets; pies; MancuniansDislikes: Hairdressers; salad; SouthernersLikely to be seen: Making a fool of himself

Disclaimer: none of the above is factual and/or based on real persons or events

6 tcsu friday february 1 2008 travisty.co.uk

Christmas haiku

The Presidential Addresstom cokerOutgoing tcsu President

This page was reserved for Tom Coker’s final thoughts.It’s blank.

Enough said.

6

doku

8 2 3

76

84 2

5 1 29

571 8

648

17

7983

Leaves the President scratching his head

Answer found at www. travisty .co. uk

friday february 1 2008 travisty.co.uk sOcIetIes 7

Trinity Politics Lent 08DR ALLEN VINCATASSIN: Exiled British IslandersWEDNESDAY 6TH FEBRUARY, 6.15PMThe population of the British Indian Ocean Territory (formerly Chagos Archipelago) was evicted in 1971 by the Brit-ish Government under the Royal Prerogative, to make way for the construction of a U.S. military base on Diego Garcia. Since then, they and their descendents have fought for legal redress, including the right to return to their homeland. In May 2007, the Court of Appeal ruled that the government’s obstructive tactics were unlawful and that the islanders were able to return to the outer islands of the territory. Dr Allen Vincatassin will tell us about his work regarding the resettlement of his compatriots in the UK and the struggle for justice. Dr Vincatassin is the Leader of the Chagossian people in the UK and the Founder and Patron of the Diego Garcian Society.

SIR SIMON JENKINS:TUESDAY 12TH FEBRUARY, 6.15PMSimon Jenkins is a well-known journalist and author. He writes a column for the Guardian and the Sunday Times, as well as broadcasting for the BBC. Previously he wrote columns for the Times and the London Evening Standard, both of which newspapers he edited, and in 2004 he received a knighthood for services to journalism. His career began on Country Life magazine and continued on the Times Educational Supplement, the Economist (Political Editor) and the Sunday Times (Books Editor). He was Journalist of the Year in 1988 and Columnist of the Year in 1993.

DR DIEGO MURO: ETA and Basque NationalismWEDNESDAY 20TH FEBRUARY, 6.15PM2007 saw dramatic developments in the struggle against radical Basque nationalism. The terrorist group ETA aban-doned its ceasefire on December 30th 2006 in an attack on Barajas Airport with 200kg of explosives that left two people dead. After a year of foiled plots, the following December has brought two assassinations and a further two bombings. Dr Muro will profile the phenomenon of Basque nationalism, analysing the level of support for armed movements and discussing the implications for Spanish politics in the run-up to the Spanish general election this March. Dr Muro is Lecturer in Spanish Politics at King’s College London.

CELIA SZUSTERMAN: Mr & Mrs Kirchner: Political Regression in Argentina?FRIDAY 29TH FEBRUARY, 6.15PMCristina de Kirchner won a landslide victory in Argentina in October 2007 after 4 years as First Lady and 10 years as a senator. Dr Szusterman will examine the rise and achievements of the Kirchners in historical context and consider where they leave Argentina. Celia Szusterman is Principal Lecturer in Spanish and Latin American studies at the Uni-versity of Westminster and an Associate Fellow at Chatham House and the Institute for the Study of the Americas, University of London.

JOHN PEET: European NationalismsMONDAY 3RD MARCH, 6.15PM At the start of 2008, Kosovo is set to become the latest addition to the crop of new European states. Last year, with differences between Flemish and Walloon politicians impeding the formation of a coalition, Belgium suffered political paralysis for 6 months. In May, the Scottish Nationalists became Scotland’s largest party. Paradoxically, as European integration became ever-wider and deeper, we have witnessed the proliferation of sub-nationalist movements, breaka-way republics and “identity politics”. John Peet, Europe Editor and former Brussels Correspondent at The Economist, will help us to make sense of these developments and their implications.

8 sOcIetIes friday february 1 2007 travisty.co.uk

This Valentine’s Day, why not surprise your sweetheart with something to keep their tastebuds excited?

Trinity RAG are offering you the opportunity to send four lovingly crafted, delicately wrapped, tasty chocolates, all sealed with a loving kiss.

To take us up on the offer all you need to do is fill in the form below, attach a cheque made payable to “Trinity College RAG Appeal” for £1 for each set of chocolates, and place it in either Valerie Nunis’s pigeonhole in Angel

Court or in Manny Kemp’s pigeonhole in Burrell’s Field.

Your name and email address:

Number of chocolates:

Full name of recipient: