5 Costly Mistakes to Avoid and How To Protect …...Surviving The ‘Sandwiched’ Years: 5 Costly...
Transcript of 5 Costly Mistakes to Avoid and How To Protect …...Surviving The ‘Sandwiched’ Years: 5 Costly...
Surviving The ‘Sandwiched’ Years:
5 Costly Mistakes to Avoid and How To Protect Your Parent’s Assets, Honor Their
Wishes & Provide Long-Term Care….Without Losing Your Money—Or Your Mind!
By R. Kellen Bryant, Elder Law Attorney
Surviving The ‘Sandwiched’ Years ……………………………………………………………………………………………………… 2
You don't get to choose how you're going to die, or when.
You can only decide how you're going to live. -- Joan Baez
No one ever said caring for aging parents would be easy….
….especially when you’re still providing
care and support to your own children
at home!
It’s no wonder why this unique group of
people caring for young kids and
aging parents is known as the
“Sandwich Generation,” as they are
continually pressed from all sides with
mounting emotional, physical and
financial demands.
Perhaps you find yourself among them
today.
This e-book is designed to help you
avoid common traps and mistakes that
can cost your family tremendous time,
money and aggravation during the
golden years.
It will also empower you to make great
decisions and secure important
resources for mom or dad during an
otherwise time of intense pressure and
stress.
It’s no secret that long-term care is
expensive (In Jacksonville, nursing
home care averages $204 per day and
assisted living averages $2,907 a
month*); however, with a little
guidance and advanced planning,
you can ensure mom and dad gets the
care they need without having to
“spend down” all of their assets or pay
for costs out of your own pocket.
You’ll also learn how to protect their
independence while still maintaining
legal oversight and control.
*2010 Prudential, Long Term Care Cost Study
Surviving The ‘Sandwiched’ Years ……………………………………………………………………………………………………… 3
If at any point you have questions about your situation, I encourage you to jump ahead to the end of this guide and use the
certificate entitling you to a free planning session with our office ($500 value).
During this session, we’ll sit down with you and your parents to create a comprehensive roadmap to ensure their assets are
protected, their wishes are honored and that you have the legal documents necessary to communicate with doctors, make critical
decisions and properly manage their affairs.
But for now, lets jump right to the most common traps Sandwich Generation Kids face—and how to avoid them!
R. Kellen Bryant
Most importantly, you’ll have the
peace of mind knowing that mom
and dad’s affairs are in order so
you focus on providing the best
care and enjoying every second
left with your parents.
Surviving The ‘Sandwiched’ Years ……………………………………………………………………………………………………… 4
Mistake # 1: Avoiding ‘Tough Conversations’ About Health
Care Wishes & Long-Term Care
Nursing homes, life-support, resuscitation, feeding tubes...
...these are all very personal and
awkward topics that no one likes to
discuss while they are in good health.
But realistically, accidents, illness and
disability can strike without warning
and that’s why it’s so important to talk
to your parents about these issues now
while they are still able to
communicate and make their own
legal decisions.
Otherwise, you may find yourself in a
crisis situation where you are unsure of
your parent’s healthcare wishes and
how to proceed with the next best
steps.
You may also find yourself at odds with
other family members, fighting over
what mom or dad “would have
wanted” in that situation.
Worse yet, you may learn of your
parent’s wishes during a crisis only to
discover that it’s “too late” to honor
them because their current mental or
medical condition is too far
progressed.
Especially in the case of dementia or
memory loss, mom or dad’s condition
can deteriorate so rapidly that you
simply won’t have time to get legal
control to pay their bills or make
medical decisions the easy way.
I say the “easy way” because once
mom or dad loses the mental capacity
to sign legal documents such as a
Power of Attorney or a Health Care
Directive, you’ll be forced to petition
the court for a guardianship, which is a
court process that is very expensive (fees and costs run at least $6,000),
entirely public and extremely time
consuming.
That’s why it’s so important to sit down
and have hard conversations with your
parents now to ensure everyone is on
the same page and that there’s
enough time to put a solid plan in
place.
Remember, even choosing a great
nursing home or assisted living facility
can seem almost impossible if you run
up against waitlists or financial hurdles
that prevent your parents from getting
great care.
Surviving The ‘Sandwiched’ Years ……………………………………………………………………………………………………… 5
To get the conversations rolling, here
are a few key issues to begin discussing
with your parents. Approach them gently with their continued
independence and best wishes in
mind:
What are your wishes for emergency or
end-of-life medical care (i.e. life
support, feeding tubes, blood
transfusions, organ donation)? Are
there any life-saving procedures you
would NEVER want?
Who do you want to make medical
decisions and communicate with your
doctors if you are unable to speak for
yourself?
What are your thoughts on long-term
care? If you were unable to live alone,
would you prefer moving into an
assisted living facility or nursing home?
Or would you rather in-home
assistance?
If you needed nursing home or in-
home care, how would you want us to
pay for it? What if Medicaid is not an
option?
Do you have a will, trust or other estate
planning documents or place? Where
can we find them and are they up to
date?
Who have you named in your “legal
helper” roles (i.e. power of attorney,
health care proxy). Where can we find
the documentation we need to handle
your affairs in an emergency
You will find that knowing your parents
wishes in these different situations will
make your job as a caregiver much
easier, as you will be prepared to
make great decisions under pressure
and plan ahead to secure the right
resources so you are not paying out of
pocket for their desired care.
Mistake # 1: Avoiding ‘Tough Conversations’ About Health
Care Wishes & Long-Term Care
Surviving The ‘Sandwiched’ Years ……………………………………………………………………………………………………… 6
Mistake # 2: Assuming Medicare or Medicaid Will Pick Up the
Tab for Long-Term Care
When it comes to needing long-term care...
...including assisted living and in-home
assistance-- many seniors and their
families are shocked to learn that
Medicare and Medicaid won’t cover
their expenses. Your health insurance
will not cover it either.
You may be surprised to know that
Medicare, which is the insurance most
seniors have with their social security
benefits, only pays for the first 100 days
in a skilled nursing facility (if you have
the proper supplement). This is care
related to a medical need such as
rehab after a fall or a stroke. After 100
days is up, any care still required
becomes the responsibility of the
patient.
Furthermore, Medicare does not cover
custodial care, which is help with the
tasks of every day living such as
bathing, feeding, toileting, meal
preparation or medication
management. These services are
often necessary for aging parents, but
they are not covered under their
policy.
At this point, Medicaid coverage may
be available to cover the remaining
expenses for both skilled nursing and
custodial care, but you must be
hovering around poverty level to
qualify.
For many seniors who have small
pensions, modest bank accounts and
investment assets in their name, qualifying for Medicaid is not possible
until everything they’ve worked so hard
for (and planned to leave to their
family) is spent.
As you can imagine, this knowledge
can be devastating families, especially
if both parents are still alive and those
remaining resources are needed to
support the healthy spouse.
Fortunately, there are legal and financial tools available to help your
parents pay for care or qualify for
public benefits without losing
everything they own. Tools such as
living trusts with nursing home Medicaid
provisions or long-term care insurance,
can help shield your parent’s assets or
minimize out of pocket costs.
Many of these strategies must be
implemented in advance to avoid
strict penalties during look-back
periods or other hurdles due to your
parent’s medical condition, so don’t
wait to talk to an estate planning
attorney if you were relying on public
benefits to pay for your parent’s care.
Surviving The ‘Sandwiched’ Years ……………………………………………………………………………………………………… 7
Mistake # 3: Not Having Up-to-Date Documents To Mange
Mom or Dad’s Affairs and Stay In Control
It’s extremely common for parents to do an estate plan when their kids are...
young and fail to re-visit and update
this plan as circumstances change
through the years.
This often results in mom or dad having
outdated documents where the
person they named as power of
attorney or health care agent 25 years
ago is no longer alive, or lives across
the country or perhaps is no longer the
person they would want to manage
their end-of-life affairs.
Another concern is that their old estate
plan may fail to take into account the
new HIPAA laws in place, which could
make accessing medical information
extremely hard for their caregiver in an
emergency.
Finally, there’s a very good chance
that the will or trust they have in place
was not created with future long-term
care needs in mind, and it lacks nursing
home asset protection provisions
techniques.
Many times, parents create wills or
trusts when they are younger simply for
the peace of mind knowing their kids
would be raised by the people they
want and their assets would be
properly distributed after death.
Incapacity planning is typically not a
concern and is often left out of a
younger person’s estate plan.
Then as our parents age, they have a
false sense of security believing they
have the right estate planning
documents in place, when in reality,
the documents they have only deal
with death and taxes and not
protecting their assets and
independence during the remaining
years of life.
The plan is not current, it doesn’t have
the right tools built in and there’s a
good chance it simply will not work in
an emergency.
For example, over the course of your
parent’s life, property may have been
purchased or sold without updating
the trust. Unbeknownst to mom or
dad, if the new assets are not titled
properly and owned by the trust, they
may now be fair game to nursing
homes or other creditors.
Or the plan may be missing critical
tools to allow the family to transfer
assets and protect mom or dad’s
money in the event of sudden
incapacity. The family may still be
forced to set up a conservatorship,
even with a trust in place.
Surviving The ‘Sandwiched’ Years ……………………………………………………………………………………………………… 8
These mistakes and oversights are more
common than you would imagine,
which is why it’s recommended you
have your estate plan reviewed by
your lawyer every 3-5 years to ensure
it’s up-to-date and takes account for
your parent’s needs during all of life’s
transitions.
If it’s been awhile since your parents
had their plan reviewed or their
attorney never talked to them about
planning ahead and protecting their
assets in the event they need long-
term care, don’t wait to schedule an
appointment with your attorney and
have everything thoroughly reviewed.
Mistake # 3: Not Having Up-to-Date Documents To Mange
Mom or Dad’s Affairs and Stay In Control
Surviving The ‘Sandwiched’ Years ……………………………………………………………………………………………………… 9
Mistake # 4: Do-It Yourself (DIY) Estate Planning
Getting sound legal advice is critical...
...if your parents have assets they are
trying to protect while applying for
Medicaid or skilled medical care. We
often see families use DIY asset
protection strategies such as adding
someone else’s name to mom’s bank
account or even switching names on
assets, only to have them backfire
miserably when a crisis situation occurs.
For example, an adult child may be
added to the title of mom or dad’s
home believing the state or a nursing
home cannot come after something
“jointly owned”. However, if the deed
is not worded properly or other
mistakes are made, the home may still
be subject to a huge Medicaid lien
after mom or dad passes.
Or, a child may add themselves to
mom or dad’s bank accounts with the
goal managing their money without
formal legal documents in place. All
seems to be going well until the adult
child gets sick or is an accident (…or
even goes through a divorce!) and
now their creditors come after the
bank account they own jointly with
mom or dad.
In an instant, mom or dad’s entire life
savings can be gone because of a
situation that affected the joint-owner
of their account. There are better (and
safer ways!) to protect your parent’s
money and manage their affairs
without adding yourself to their bank
accounts. It’s worth the time to sit with
an attorney and discuss your options.
Online forms lack the sophistication to
help with this type of planning and
they will fail to accomplish asset
protection.
Finally, many older parents will attempt
to “gift” away their money to relatives
in order protect it from the reach of
nursing homes or the state. More times
than not, this strategy backfires as
there are strict “look-back periods” in
place that can not only cause your
transfer to be discovered, but will result
in penalties or ineligibility for Medicaid.
This could mean your parents (and in
cases of extremely bad DIY planning—
their CHIDLREN!) will be on the hook for
all of mom or dad’s long-term care
costs, which could run in excess of
$8,000 a month!
Before making a gift of any size with
the goal of protecting mom or dad’s
money from a nursing home, talk to an
elder attorney first about your safest
and most effective options.
Surviving The ‘Sandwiched’ Years ……………………………………………………………………………………………………… 10
Mistake # 5: Waiting Until The Last Minute To Gather
Emergency Information
As a Sandwich Generation Kid, your life may already feel pretty crazy, but...
...nothing is worse than the chaos and
frustration of facing a serious medical
emergency without the right
documents in place.
In a crisis situation, there is simply no
time to be hunting for insurance cards,
looking for important phone numbers
or gathering information you need to
make the very best decisions for mom
or dad.
That’s why it’s a good idea to sit down
with your parents now and begin to
compile all of the documentation you
could possibly need so that it’s
organized and easily accessible in a
medical emergency.
Such information would include:
Copies of the front and back of
cards, including your parent’s
drivers license, insurance cards,
prescription cards and military ID
cards.
The names and phone numbers of
their primary doctor, medical
specialists and care managers.
The contact information for their
bank, financial advisor, insurance
agents and attorneys.
The account numbers and
locations for any savings, checking
or investment accounts.
The location of any safe deposit
boxes and how to access them in
an emergency.
A detailed list of their prior medical
history, including any surgeries,
allergies and blood type.
A current list of their medication
and the doses they take.
Having this information handy and
organized will save you a tremendous
amount of time and headache if a
medical crisis strikes.
Once this information is compiled, be
sure to keep it in a central location so
your involved family members can
access it in a true emergency.
Surviving The ‘Sandwiched’ Years ……………………………………………………………………………………………………… 11
Give Your Parents the Gift of Aging Without Worry or Struggle
As we mentioned at the beginning of this e-book, planning ahead for your parent’s long-
term care is certainly not easy, but...
...by avoiding these 5 common
mistakes, you’ll be well positioned
when medical and financial needs
begin to present themselves.
There’s no greater peace of mind than
knowing your parent’s bills will be paid,
their assets protected and they will
receive the care they deserve during
their final years of life.
It’s equally reassuring to know that
there are ways to plan ahead to make
your job as a caregiver easier and
minimize the chance that you’ll have
to pay more for legal help or elder
care services during a health care
crisis.
Not to mention, it’s every parent’s
greatest fear to become a burden to
their children, and long-term care
planning can give your parents the
confidence knowing that they can
age with dignity and leave a legacy
for their family that has nothing to do
with debt or hardship.
But, having this peace of mind starts
with sitting down with an elder care
attorney to review your parent’s
current situation and discuss all of their
options for preserving their
independence, protecting their assets
and making it easier for their adult
children to manage their affairs.
Surviving The ‘Sandwiched’ Years ……………………………………………………………………………………………………… 12
Give Your Parents the Gift of Aging Without Worry or Struggle
You may be nervous to take this next step because meeting with an attorney must be
expensive, right?
Well, not necessarily.
Because you’ve taken the time to read
this e-book and learn some of the best
ways to help your parents plan for the
future, we want to reward you with a certificate to come in for a
comprehensive planning session with
our office at no-charge ($500 value).
During this meeting, we’ll sit down with
you and your parents to review their
current situation and any documents
they have in place. We’ll check to
make sure they have stayed up to
date as their life (and the law) has
changed through the years, and we’ll
also let you know exactly where your
parents would stand if incapacity or a
medical crisis occurred tomorrow.
If we determine your parents have
everything in order and no further
planning needs to be done, you’ll
leave with the peace of mind knowing
that you are well prepared for the
future.
On the other hand, if you are not
satisfied with your current state of
affairs and the position your family
would be in should your parents
become incapacitated or require long
-term care, we’ll determine your best
options and help you create a plan
that honors your parent’s wishes and
adequately takes into account their
long-term care needs.
If you choose to move forward,
planning fees can run between $200 —
$6,000 depending on your wants and
needs. There’s no pressure, no hassles
and no obligation to sign up for legal
services during the initial meeting.
Caring for young kids and aging
parents is hard enough, and our goal is
to simply help you make life easier and
steer you clear of any legal or financial
nightmares that may present
themselves down the road.
To reserve your planning session, simply
call our office at 904-399-2829 and ask
to redeem your certificate from the
Sandwich Generation e-book.
We hope you found this information
helpful and encourage you to share
this eBook with anyone you know that
may be struggling to help their parents
plan for the future. Just send them to
www.eldercarelawjacksonville.com/
sandwich-generation-guide to request
a free copy.
Remember, time is your greatest asset
when it comes to planning for long-
term care, so don't wait to use your
certificate to sit down with an attorney
and make sure you are taking
advantage of every tool, benefit and
opportunity to give your family the
CERTIFICATE for Free Vision Meeting ($300 value)
Schedule your Vision Meeting
by calling (904) 399-2829
2033 Flesher Avenue
Jacksonville, Florida 32207
www.kellenbryantlaw.com
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Peace of Mind
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Meet Kellen Bryant
Jacksonville, Florida Elder Law and Estate Planning Attorney
Professional Associations
and Memberships
Kellen is passionate about practicing law
and constantly enhancing his practice for
his clients. Kellen is a member of national
estate planning and elder law collaborative
organizations such as WealthCounsel,
Lawyers with Purpose, Academy of VA
Pension Planners (AVAPP), and the
National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys
(NAELA). Locally, Kellen is a member of
the Jacksonville Bar Association and the
Elder Law Section of the Florida Bar.
Kellen is also a VA accredited attorney,
licensed to apply for VA aid and
attendance benefits and practice law in
front of the Veteran’s Administration.
Education & Achievements
Kellen graduated cum laude with a
bachelor of arts at Florida State University
(2003), and cum laude with a juris
doctorate at Stetson University College of
Law (2007). While at Stetson Law, Kellen
earned the highest grade in Property Law,
which sparked his passion and interest in
estate and elder care planning. Kellen was
also hired as a summer associate at a highly
regarded Florida law firm, Gray Robinson.
During his time at Stetson Law, Kellen
interned for the Honorable Judge Scriven at
the Middle District of Florida, Federal
Court, and for the Honorable Judge LaRose
at the Second District Court of Appeal, a
Florida appellate court. The judges’
mentoring of Kellen helped develop his
professionalism, legal analysis and writing.