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NLp gives us an extraordinary set of tools for developing clarity and ecology

of thought

NLp and the Enneagram: two paths – one journey

By Dr Henrie Lidiard

O verthelast20yearsIhavebeen exploring two different fieldsthatmanypeople

feelareimmiscible–thefieldofNLPandthatoftheEnneagram.HoweverIhave found that these two powerful models have a great deal to offereachother.TheEnneagramcandeepen our skill and precision as NLPers;anditcando even more than that – it can enrich our experience andself-awarenessinwaysthatareabsolutelyprofound,providingadoorwayto our limitless human potential.Therearealsosome interesting points of connection between the two disciplines.

The three centresAsweknow,NLPisaprofoundlysimpleandeffectivewayofunderstandingthe structure of our experience and it givesuschoiceaboutourthoughts,feelingsandbehaviour.ThecoreofNLPwasformedfromBandlerandGrinder’sskilfulmodellingoftherapeuticexpertise.Howeverthedisciplinealsoco-optedusefulideas(bothancientandmodern)abouthowhumanbeingstick.OneofthemostancientideasincorporatedintoNLPshowsupinthedeceptivelysimple‘Mercedesmodel’.TheMercedesmodelusefully

divides our experience into three ‘compartments’:theemotionaldomainoftheheart(internalstate);thecognitivedomainofthehead(internalprocessing);andthedomainofourphysiologyandexternalbehaviour.Thismodelofthe

three‘centresofintelligence’isanincrediblyancientwayofviewing

human experience and has been traced back to ancient

Greece and even further backtoancientEgyptbysomeauthors.Interestinglythereis

now a vast amount ofneuroscientificevidence that shows us that ourhead,heartand gut centres are not just metaphors or figuresofspeech–wereallydohavethree‘brains’in

these areas of our body.(MarvinOkaandGrantSoosaluhavesynthesisedthescientificfindings,along

with behavioural modelling andmanyothersourcesof

evidence,intothebrilliantnewfieldofmBraining.)NLPgivesusanextraordinarysetof

toolsfordevelopingclarityandecologyofthought(aclean,objectiveuseoftheheadcentre).Italsohelpsustobuild awareness and choice in how werespondtotheworld,ratherthanreactingtoit(acalm,openuseofourheartcentre),anditenablesustomakehelpfulchangesinhowwetakeaction,relateandbehave(awiseruseofthe‘belly’centre).NLPdoesn’tgiveusthelast word in how our centres function orhowtoinhabitthem,butitpavesthewayandlaysasteady,strongfoundationfromwhichsubtler,deeperexperiencesofourcentrescannaturallyfollow.

So what is the Enneagram? Forthoseunfamiliarwithit,theEnneagramisatonelevelanine-pointed

The Mercedes Model

Internal state

FEELING

Internal processingTHINKING

External behaviour

DOING

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We learn that aspects of our experience are not fixed but can, in fact, change

geometricsymbolbasedonparticularmathematicalideas(alsoderivingfromAncientGreekthought).Howeveritisalsoapowerfulsynthesis

ofinsightsabouthumannature,someveryancientanddrawnlargelyfromtherootsofourWesternspiritualtraditions,andsomefrommodernpsychology.Together these insights form a powerful model,whichgivesusastartlinglyaccurate description of nine habitual and unconscious aspects of human nature andtheirrichandcomplexinteractions.These nine patterns are often described aspersonality‘types’.InterestinglytheninecorepatternsoftheEnneagramarealso clustered around our three centres of intelligence and how we inhabit them(andhowweoftenunconsciouslyscrambleandmisusethem).

‘Know thyself’ – an invitation to liberationBoth disciplines invite us to deepen our self-awarenessandsuggestthatthiswillgiveustheabilitytochoose what wedo,ratherthantounconsciouslyactoutourhabitualfeelingsandimpulses.Theyalsosuggestthatbychoosingtodo something different to our usual habits androutines,wecanexperiencegreaterdegreesofpersonalfreedom.

Two disciplines, one pathNLPopensoureyestomanyhabitualand repetitive aspects of our nature and inadditionbringsadeeplypragmaticapproach to helping us become more flexible.TheEnneagram’sinvitationto‘knowthyself’goesalittlefurtherthanthetransformativeinsightsofNLP.Itshows us clusters of deeper patterns withinourunique‘mapsoftheworld’and illuminates more unconscious groovesinourthoughts,feelingsandbehaviour.WhenwebeginlearningaboutNLP,we

embarkonaprofoundlydevelopmentaljourney.Wecanmakeenormouschangesandmayachievefarmoreinashort space of time than we would ever havebelievedpossible.Theseshiftsareoftenprofound,evenlifechanging.TheEnneagramenablesustocontinue on thatdeepandfulfillinggrowthpath,beyondthepointthatourNLPtoolscantakeusto.Theself-awarenessandresiliencethatNLPgivesusoffersus

a stable platform from which to embarkonadeeperinnerjourney.NLPbringsusmanybenefits;itcan

healaspectsofourpersonalhistory,help us to express more of our strengthsintheworld,andimproveourresilienceandmentalhealth.We can become more objective and our relationships can become more functional,rewardingandfulfilling.Inthelanguageofpsychology,then,thetoolsofNLP,wellapplied,helpustodevelopahealthy,open‘egostructure’.Inaddition,welearnthataspects of our experience are not fixedbutcan,infact,change.Thisinsight enables us to dis-identify with certainstructuresinourpsychethatwe might otherwise have taken to betheway‘we are’orthewaythe‘world is’.

There is an interesting side effect ofallthisthatyoumayhavealreadynoticed.WhileNLPisnotinherentlyaspiritualdiscipline,asthesechangesoccur,manypeoplebegintoopenup to subtle but tangible aspects of theirexperiencethattheyhadnotpreviouslybeenawareof.Touseametaphor–itisasifNLPcan‘cleanthewindows’ofourperception,naturallylettinginmorelight.

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Each moment that we see our structures as they arise changes them.

Moving from ‘ego’ to infinite potentialInterestingly,though,ahealthyrobustego structure is not the end of the story.Itisjustanecessarystageinourevolutionanddevelopment;astationperhaps,butnotanultimatedestination.Withoutrealisingthiswecan mistake our familiar habits and preferences,evenourtalentsandgifts,forsomethingmorethantheyreallyrepresent.Wemaystarttobelievethatourpersonalityisallweare.Youmighthaveheardyourselforotherssaythingslike‘That’s just the way I am’,‘That’s just me’.Thisidentificationwithourpersonalityoregostructuresis,inNLPterms,agrand‘complexequivalence’andisprobablyoneofthe biggest distortions that we are capableofashumanbeings.Inthiswayourself-conceptfallsfarshortofreality.Truly–whateveryouthinkyouare,youaresomuchmorethanthat.NLPbeginsour

gentlejourneyofreleasing and ‘dis-identifying’with certain feelingstates,behaviours and mental habits.Wedevelopafreer,fuller sense of ourselves and our capacity.OnceagaintheEnneagramcan take us further along the same path,highlightingforusevendeeperpatternsofmind,bodyandemotion.Aswestarttorecognisethese deeper patterns we can see our personalitystructuresmoreclearlyforwhattheyareandwecanstarttogentlydis-identifyfromthemtoo.Aswestarttoletgoandtorelax

these deeper structures we begin toexperienceourselvesinavastlyfreerway.Evenmore‘innerspace’opensup,inwhichwecanexperience realms of our nature that were previouslyobscuredbyourinner noiseandactivity.Asthisgreaterinnerspaceopens

up,itbeginstofillwithsubtleandpowerful aspects of what we might callour‘essentialnature’.Deepandprofound states of being can arise

inus,whicharebeyondthosewehaveexperiencedbeforeandareevenbeyondanythingwecouldimagine.Strangely,eventhoughwecouldnot‘imagine’,'conjure’or‘create’them,whenweexperience them we do seem to

‘remember’theminacertainway.Theyfeeltrue,realandabsolutely,irrefutablyanaspectofwhoandwhatwereallyare.Thereisafeelingofcominghometoourselvesinanewway.

In experiencing this unfolding potential in the moment,ourongoingexperiencecanbecomeoneofdepth,mysteryandspontaneousupwellingandrenewal.Thisopen-endedwayofexperiencingtheundreamed-ofrealmsofournature,momentbymoment,isaverydifferentterritoryto that of choosing from a repertoire of‘resourcefulstates’thatwearealreadyfamiliarwith(pleasurableandtherapeuticallyusefulthoughthatis).

Being and wellbeingThe methods of working with the Enneagramarebothsimpleandincrediblypowerful.Simple,though,isnotthesamethingaseasy!Firstlytheyinvolve

deepening our sensed contactwithourphysicalbody.Relaxingintoour

immediate sensation is a powerful tether to

the present moment thatprofoundly

enriches our experience.Itdeepens our contactnotonlywith ourselves

but also those we are in relationships

withandwithoursurroundings.Aswelearntostayinsensedcontact

withthe‘now’wecanseemoreclearlyour habitual nature as it arises in the moment – in seeing it more clearly and sensing it as it happenswereallycanchoose to relax those patterns and do something other than following the momentumofour‘autopilot’.Wedon’thavetodomuchasitturnsout;simplyfeeltheurgeofourpatternsastheyarise–breathe,relax,feelitfullyandnot doit!

‘Being’ vs ‘Doing’This‘non-doing’isn’tthesameinvitationasissuedbyBobNewhart’stherapistin the sketch where he told his client repeatedlyto‘Stopit!’Itisafullyconsciouswayofapplyingagentlepressuretoouregostructures,whichrespondbygraduallysofteningand

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deep and profound states of being can

arise in us, which are beyond those we have

experienced before

NLp

loosening.Eachmomentthatweseeourstructuresastheyarisechangesthem.Eachtimeweexperienceastructureforwhatitiswedis-identifyalittlemore.Simplybeingawaketoourselvesandsensingisenough.Wedon’thaveto‘do’anythingmore.Graduallylittlebylittlewecanlearnto

let ourselves be present with whatever is arisinginus,withoutnecessarilydoinganythingtochangeit.This‘lettingbe’,though,almostseemscounterintuitivetoourNLPapproach.(Wemayevenhave a strong opinion that we just want thegoodstuff,theexaltedstatesandnicefeelings,notanythingthatisdullorboringoruncomfortable.Wemayeven become cross or fearful if someone suggests we feel something less than pleasant.)WeareprofoundlyluckyinbeingNLP-skilledofcourse.Weknow that we can take care of ourselves and ourstateifweneedto.Wehaveatremendous amount of choice to change things.Thiskindofchange,though,whileittakesusalongway,willonlytakeussofar.TheEnneagramoffersusa strange invitation indeed – to see how muchwecanfeelfirst,withoutpulling

awayfromit.Muchtooursurprise,whenwelet

ourselvesreallyfeelwhatishappeninghereinthemoment,whateveritis(andstaywithitasmuchaswecanwithoutactingitout,suppressingit,gettinginvolvedwithitorsweptawayinit),weactuallyfindthatthingschange,quitequicklyandinareallyextraordinaryway.Aswetastethislittlebylittle,therecanbeadeepsenseoftrust,rest and peace in allowing ourselves tobe‘as we are’inthemomentwithout feeling the need to engage in ‘relentlessself-improvement’.Therecan even be a relief in acknowledging just what we are experiencing without needingtopretend,concealit,embellishit,reframeitor‘actitout’.We can give ourselves the freedom to simplybe.Itisaskill,andaswebuildourcapacitytostaywithourselvesandallowourexperiencetounfold,we discover that there is an inherent intelligence in how it unfolds and what isrevealedtous.Lastly–themostsurprisingthingofall–wefindthateven moments of discomfort open up intoprofoundlybeautiful,supportive

Dr Henrie Lidiard BSc PhD INLPTA, Master Trainer and Riso/Hudson Accredited Enneagram Trainer, mBIT Trainer. NLP in the North www.nlpinthenorth.co.uk email: henrie@nlpinthenorth.co.uk tel:0345 8710012

and enriching aspects of who and what weare.Sometimespoetrytouchesitmorecloselythanprose.

unconditionalby JenniferPaine-Welwood

Willing to experience alonenessI discover connection everywhere;Turning to face my fear,I meet the warrior within;Opening to my loss,I gain the embrace of the universe;Surrendering into emptiness,I find fullness without end.

Each condition I flee from pursues me,Each condition I welcome transforms meAnd becomes itself transformed into its jewel-like essence.I bow to the one who has made it so,Who has crafted this master game;To play it is purest delight –To honour its form, true devotion.

Beyondourpersonality,aworld ofmystery,depthandbeautyopens up;ahumanpotentialtrulyworthexploring.