24 Common Mistakes Anxiety Sufferers Make
Transcript of 24 Common Mistakes Anxiety Sufferers Make
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Table of Contents
Copyright, Legal Notice and Disclaimer: ........................................................................ 2
READ THIS - IMPORTANT! .............................................................................................. 3
Mistake # 1 – Creating A False Reality ........................................................................... 6
Mistake # 2 – Just Accept It ........................................................................................... 6
Mistake # 3 - Searching For The Root Cause ................................................................. 7
Mistake # 4 – Dwelling! .................................................................................................. 7
Mistake # 5 - Over Pleasing ............................................................................................ 8
Mistake # 6 - What Happens To Others Will Happen To Me ......................................... 9
Mistake # 7 – Assuming/Guessing What Others Think About You ................................ 9
Mistake # 8 – Can’t Break The "Negative Thought Loop" ........................................... 10
Mistake # 9 - Fear Of Going Insane .............................................................................. 10
Mistake # 10 - Thinking About Breathing .................................................................... 11
Mistake # 11 – I Can't Concentrate! ............................................................................ 11
Mistake # 12 - I Don't Fit In! ......................................................................................... 12
Mistake # 13 – Being Too Hard On Yourself ................................................................ 12
Mistake # 14 – Unable To Manage Everyday Stress .................................................... 12
Mistake # 15 - Using Marijuana And Other "Light Drugs" To Reach Deep Relaxation 13
Mistake # 16 – Constant Worries ................................................................................ 13
Mistake # 17 – Unable To Control The Fear Of The Unknown .................................... 14
Mistake # 18 – My Anxiety Is Getting Worse With Time ............................................. 14
Mistake # 19 – Constantly Checking On Your Overall General Feeling ....................... 14
Mistake # 20 – Constantly Looking For Positive Feedback From People Around You 15
Mistake # 21 - Unable To Distinguish Right From Wrong ............................................ 15
Mistake # 22 – Let Them Come To Me ........................................................................ 16
Mistake # 23 – Can't Finish Things ............................................................................... 16
Mistake # 24 - Inability To Pass On Good Vibes .......................................................... 16
Here Is How You Will Enjoy Life Once Completing "The Reject Anxiety Course"........ 17
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Copyright, Legal Notice and
Disclaimer:
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Please note that much of this publication is based on personal
experience and anecdotal evidence. Although the author, publisher
and contributors have made every reasonable attempt to achieve
complete accuracy of the content in this Guide, they assume no
responsibility for errors or omissions. Also, you should use this
information as you see fit, and at your own risk. Your particular
situation may not be exactly suited to the examples illustrated here;
and you should adjust your use of the information and
recommendations accordingly.
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Finally, use your head. Nothing in this Guide is intended to replace
common sense, legal, medical or other professional advice, and is
meant to inform and educate the reader. So enjoy The 24 Common
Mistakes Anxiety Sufferers Make, and get better soon.
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READ THIS - IMPORTANT!
Hello and Welcome!
My name is Yoel and I'm the author of this book. I wrote this
book to help, educate and inform anyone who sufferers from
anxiety, Panic attacks OCD, PTSD and Social Anxiety.
As an Ex Anxiety sufferer I know how disturbing these disorders
are and how they prevent us from living the life we should be
living. I suffered for over 7 years while the first 4 years I didn't
even know that I had anxiety. I just thought that I am different
than others and quite frankly I was very shy to visit a therapist
and talk about my feelings. My Feelings and Thoughts were
VERY disturbing. It all began from a horrible panic attack that I
had at a friend's place. Without going to deep into my story I
just want to let you know that my panic attack was so bad that
eventually I asked my friends to drive me to the hospital,
because I felt like I was about to die. My hands were shaking,
my heart was beating fast I couldn't focus and scaring everyone
around me. It was something that I will never forget and I didn't
understand how it began.
I arrived at the hospital and called up my parents they were
there in a few minutes and was still panicking. The panic attack
lasted for about 45 minutes. My older brother somehow
relaxed me by yelling at me (not recommended – but for some
reason it worked). Eventually I left the hospital without
consulting a doctor or explaining my condition and my attacks
got worse.
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I was very stubborn and ashamed to speak about my situation
with my family, and my panic attacks became milder, but my
anxiety levels got worse. For years I was trapped in worrying
feelings and thoughts. I constantly thought people were
following me and I was terrified. My anxiety lead to occasional
agoraphobia and sometimes I was so confused and worried
that I would touch all the objects that were on the table
checking If they were mine, Yes, I know, that's very strange. I
was always a friendly person and I would always have friends
around me, but they disappeared.
I became partially reclusive and decided to attend therapy. I
was diagnosed with agoraphobia and panic disorder and was
"on the fence" of OCD. The medication therapy began.
I felt a bit more relaxed but couldn't bear the thought that I
would need to live like this for the rest of my life. I decided to
make a change. I used to be free and new that I will be free
once again.
I searched everything! I always loved studying and new that I
would find the trail of life that I lost somewhere along the way.
I spend thousands of dollars seeking a solution and I found it. I
found it within me. I contacted several people who had similar
situations to me and I found mutual problems. After doing so I
felt better but it wasn't enough. Something was missing. Two
more years passed in and out of the "loop" – "the fear cycle".
One day I took all the methods I developed and changed them
a bit. I changed them in a way that I would be able to reject any
negative thought ahead of time. I developed a breathing
technique that not only organized my breathing but it also
relaxed my brain within seconds of any panic attack beginning
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the techniques were planted in to subconscious and I was
better again. I was FREE!!!
I approached people without any fear. If a negative thought
would arrive a positive one would beat it in a matter of micro
seconds. I was more energetic than ever and people would
smile to me sometimes when waking on the street. I was so
pleased that after all the years in anxiety I was not insane – far
from it! I was thinking straight.
I used to see faces around me always happy today I can
honestly say that I am smiling with them, people have a lot of
confidence in me and ask my advice. I automatically think
positive and live the life I want to. I am free and you can be too!
You don't need to re invent the wheel. This book is here to
show you just a few of the mistakes I made and most likely you
are also making them.
I wrote down these mistakes to help understand the things you
are doing wrong and by understanding what's wrong the right
path would be easier to find.
I hope you find this report helpful. Feel free to contact me with
any questions, concern, comments and testimonials.
Sincerely Yours, Yoel Cohen
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Mistake # 1 – Creating A False Reality
This is perhaps the biggest and most common mistakes of all!
Constantly drifting away in your thoughts and "forecasting" the
future. Obviously, you have no control over the future. The
typical problem is a "What If" thought. This is when you might
be in your car on the way to meet friends, an interview, a date,
any sort of meeting or even when you are planning on staying
at home. A "What If" thought is the thought where you start
creating a reality, or series of events that will take place in the
future when in fact you have no Idea what will happen.
The reason a "what if" causes anxiety is: when the future
arrives and the reality you've created in your mind doesn't
happen, you become confused. Confusion leads to fear and
fear is Anxiety's best friend.
Mistake # 2 – Just Accept It
Everyone knows, including Anxiety sufferers, that they need to
think positive in order to get better, that's no secret. But, for
some crazy reason many think that if I just accept this anxiety it
will eventually pass. Hmmm, BIG MISTAKE – and here's why!
To make you understand my angle I want you to think of a
person that's over weight and wants to get thinner. If he truly
wants to get thinner he must change his way of life "his
lifestyle". Keeping on eating the cakes, fat, fast food, not
exercising, and so on is what made him gain weight in the first
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place. Just saying to himself over and over again "I guess I'm
just fat and that's who I am" won't make him any thinner you
just can't say I accept being fat and by accepting it I'll get
thinner. Anxiety is in the brain - if you accept it you like it!
Mistake # 3 - Searching For The Root
Cause
Yes! Life is good! It used to be better though! Many sufferers
think that life was always bad! But that's a big lie! When you
were young I mean really young, a child around 2 – 6 years old,
life was sweet and you were free. You had nothing to worry
from because you trusted your instincts. Somewhere along the
lines you lost that trust.
Some people are stuck in anxiety for over 30 years and one of
the reason's they are still stuck is because they constantly
search their brain for answers, such as: Why? When did this
start? How did I get into this in the first place? There is no why,
when or how! You don't need to find the root cause in order to
"solve your problem".
Mistake # 4 – Dwelling!
This might come across as a shocker to you, but, dwelling on
bad or good periods in your life, creates anxiety. Why? Simply,
because it adds anxiety to "the fear cycle".
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It's understood that dwelling on bad past experienced or
periods of life creates anxiety – that’s common sense.
Therefore, we will cover - why dwelling on good experiences or
periods in your past is bad for you.
Dwelling on good past experiences is bad because you aren't
living in the current - the present. You are physically here, but
your mind is somewhere else. And you are expecting certain
things to happen which won't, and can't really happen anymore
because they belong to the past! Now, I'm not saying to forget
about the good times or experiences. You can always have fun
about them tell your friends – Just don't get stuck!
Mistake # 5 - Over Pleasing
There is nothing wrong with being a kind and decent person. As
a matter of fact I think the world needs more honest direct and
kind people these days. However, the act of trying to be "super
kind" or pleasing people to an extent where you forget what
you really believe in causes anxiety. It causes anxiety because
not always do other people (the people who you over please)
respond accordingly. Once you over please and don't get
proper feedback, time after time, you find yourself out of
energy and confused, thinking "I give and I give, but I get
nothing in return". This thought alone causes anxiety. You see,
not everyone sees things from your eyes and understands
where your kindness comes from. You end up caught up with
the thought of "Everybody walks all over me", which eventually
leads to Agoraphobia "Social Phobia".
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Mistake # 6 - What Happens To
Others Will Happen To Me
If you are not new to Anxiety, Panic Attacks, OCD, GAD or
Agoraphobia, you probably already know that these disorders
are all symptoms of fear. Fear is not how we should live life.
When you fear you are a slave and you will never be free.
Caution is good but fear isn't. Here is a case study that you will
surely understand even if it doesn't concern you.
I had a few personal coaching sessions with one of my clients
who had terrible panic attacks. She would have 2 – 3 panic
attacks per day! She would get them at work, while sleeping
and even when she was at home taking care of the her
children. After a few sessions she felt really opened with me
and eventually I discovered that her deceased Grandmother
and Mother died from heart attacks, both at a relatively young
age. My client was living a life full with fear with the constant
thought that "It will happen to me too. I know it will - it's just a
matter of time".
Mistake # 7 – Assuming/Guessing
What Others Think About You
Did you ever hear the phrase "The image you project is the way
you feel"? Well it's true! Anxiety sufferers tend to have the
think of what others are thinking of them. You are in a group of
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people, they can be new friends, your close friends or family
and suddenly you begin thinking: "This person hates my guts, I
know it" or "She thinks I'm ugly", "I just said something so
stupid and they know it!" By thinking these thoughts they
actually manifest. Not only do they manifest but you may carry
these thoughts for days or even weeks later!
Mistake # 8 – Can’t Break The
"Negative Thought Loop"
Positive thinking is great – we all know that! When you think
positive you feel good – you feel neutral "aligned with the
world". Your going through your day the world is OK today!
Yay! Then it hits you! The negative loop - begins once again. "I
don't believe I can't get this right", "Everything I touch turns
into dust". Just forget about it. OK…feeling better now…"I
forgot to do _______", "I'm always behind time"…"Oh my god
here it starts again!", "Stop, I command myself to stop thinking
of this bullshit", "Get out of my head you are not me".
Mistake # 9 - Fear Of Going Insane
"Why is this happening to me"? "I was just fine a few minutes
ago". "I will never be well again and I guess that this is the way I
am". "I should have never done _______ (fill in the blank)",
"That's the reason I am not normal" "Where is the life I used to
have". "Am I really crazy? Or is it just my imagination?" "Who
am I trying to fool? I will just need to be this way, YES! I guess
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I'm crazy at least now I know". THAT’S ALL ONE BIG LIE YOU
ARE NOT CRAZY! – AS A MATTER OF FACT YOU ARE MORE
CREATIVE THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE!!!
Mistake # 10 - Thinking About
Breathing
Many if not ALL anxiety sufferers think about the right time to
breath. You obviously know that breathing is crucial and that
more oxygen relaxes the brain. Most times when having a
conversation with others or even when you're alone. You might
drift away and think "OH…I just forgot to breath, let me quickly
adjust my breathing cycle." In a matter of minutes or seconds
after this thought "Arrives automatically" your level of anxiety
rises once again and you become a victim to your subconscious
mind!
Mistake # 11 – I Can't Concentrate!
Trying too hard to concentrate on what others are saying or
what's happening around you. You constantly find yourself
drifting away in your thoughts (which are negative) and losing
concentration and interest fairly quickly. You might be sitting in
front of the computer, at work, with friends, with your loved
ones, reading a book and even watching a movie. You just can't
understand what's going on!
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Mistake # 12 - I Don't Fit In!
This is a mistake all anxiety sufferers make. They think that they
are one of a kind and won't fit in when socializing. Most often
they select 2 – 3 friends that they trust, but even though they
trust the 2 or 3 "friends" they feel that they really aren't so
close to them.
Mistake # 13 – Being Too Hard On
Yourself
Setting up early deadlines or expecting more from you in a
short period of time. Focusing your energy on being perfect and
doing things in a specific way is what also generates more
anxiety. Thinking that other people are getting ahead in life
while you are being left behind. Expecting to accomplish and
gain recognition quickly whether at a new work place, at home,
and amongst friends or family.
Mistake # 14 – Unable To Manage
Everyday Stress
We all know that stress isn't healthy for you. With the way
things are moving in the 21st century stress becomes part of
everyone's life. Being incapable of managing the stress life
brings, creates more stress and more anxiety. As a result
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everything you build upon explodes in your face and you drown
in depression.
Mistake # 15 - Using Marijuana And
Other "Light Drugs" To Reach Deep
Relaxation
Many anxiety sufferers who want to get better will do almost
anything it takes to reach their goal. It first stops with using the
drugs that they were given by their therapist. They want to
stop their addiction to the chemicals and live a better life. With
the idea in mind of stopping the chemicals from controlling
their life they turn to an alternative which is very often
marijuana. During the first few times they use it, they feel more
relaxed and calm but with time they find themselves paranoid
and even more unbalanced. Obviously this isn't the results you
are looking for from a natural remedy.
Mistake # 16 – Constant Worries
All anxiety sufferers worry about one of the following at least:
Health, Money, Love, Family, Friends, Work, Business, Sex,
Adventure or Travel. They worry and can't find themselves
relaxed when the thought crosses their mind. You know that
others around you are thinking of the same things but they can
keep themselves relaxed and worriless while a similar thought
is tearing you apart.
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Mistake # 17 – Unable To Control The
Fear Of The Unknown
No one knows what will happen in 2 minutes from now, but for
some reason you can't control the fear that arrives with the
thought while others can easily enjoy it! You may feel left out
while everyone around you is enjoying their life. You think 10
times before saying anything and eventually when you decide
to say something you feel like everyone around you is looking
at you with a puzzled face.
Mistake # 18 – My Anxiety Is Getting
Worse With Time
Regardless of the time that you are spending in anxiety and
familiarizing yourself with your condition, you are feeling worse
with time. As if there is no solution and today your condition is
worse than what it used to be a few months ago year ago.
Mistake # 19 – Constantly Checking
On Your Overall General Feeling
Focusing too often on your body's sensations or and self
analyzing when alone or amongst others. Whether you feel
good or bad you constantly think to yourself: "I shouldn't be
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sitting this way" or "I think I'm feeling good now", "I'm feeling
the nausea coming again", "Oh my god! I touched that and It's
filled with germs" etc'
Mistake # 20 – Constantly Looking
For Positive Feedback From People
Around You
It can be your family or close friends who you engage with
socially and because anxiety is part of your life you feel the
need to speak about it. After a while you expect others to
"treat you differently" because you have a "special condition".
Although others care about you they act naturally and can't
always give you the attention needed, which can often lead to
depression, a panic attack, triggering your OCD symptom (e.g.
washing your hands, organizing the coat hangers, overeating,
deleting your files on the computer) and creating more anxiety.
Mistake # 21 - Unable To Distinguish
Right From Wrong
You might be in a conversation at home alone, driving a car or
almost in any case where you have to make a decision of what's
right vs. what's wrong and often you get confused between the
two, you simply can't find the right route to take. Who's side to
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take? Or where should you put the object you have in your
hand.
Mistake # 22 – Let Them Come To Me
This is a mistake that many people with social anxiety have.
However, you may not be diagnosed with social anxiety and
just suffer from panic attacks or OCD and still make this mistake
repetitively. It is simply expecting others to approach you. You
have trouble getting your message across and usually hinting at
what you want to say. You are hinting because you are worried
of the reactions might be.
Mistake # 23 – Can't Finish Things
Whether you have a job to get done, a movie you're watching,
a conversation you are in, doing the dishes or even smoking a
cigarette (not recommended) you simply can't or are too lazy of
finishing your "task". While you are doing whatever it is you are
doing you suddenly find yourself engaging in a different activity
and leaving the prior one undone.
Mistake # 24 - Inability To Pass On
Good Vibes
Constantly feeling that you’re breaking the mood or passing
around negativity. You try so hard to pass on good vibes but
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you just can't get it right. After a while you wear yourself out
and you find yourself dwelling on anxious thoughts which
create even more anxiety and a negative mood.
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Here Is How You Will Enjoy Life Once
Completing "The Reject Anxiety
Course"
Enjoy holidays, travel and adventure without fear of
anxiety.
Leave your house on your own and not being afraid of
being alone.
You will trust your body and never fear it again.
No need to "bail out" of a social meeting half way through
Do your daily routines without any fearful or anxious
thoughts
Speak in public or make a presentation without the fear of
a panic attack.
Your relationships will improve without having to fear
them.
You will be relaxed while flying and driving without any
intimidating thoughts.
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Preventing yourself from waking up at night with sudden
panic.
Engage in any activity want to without any panic or
anxiety attacks.
Boost yourself self confidence and turn anxiety in to
energy
Enjoy peaceful thinking without ANY anxiety
Wake up in the morning with positive thoughts and not
thinking if anxiety is there
Enjoy the looks on people faces when you speak with
them and observe how you become an energy magnet
Live without fear – can you imagine a life without fear?
That's how you will live.
You will be able to see others in anxiety and easily
encourage them!
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