The Maven* By Fred Bothwell '62

(With apologies to E.A. Poe, ex 1834) Once I was confined to quarters,1 High above the Hudson's waters, In my room from dusk to morning sun. In three long years I hadn't learned, To play the game, so I had earned Confinement stemming from a "two-dash-one."2 I sat in barracks every weekend While my classmates left to seek And find good times in parties, dates and fun. Twice each week in consternation I joined in the Area Formation,3 Marching off my "tours"4 before the Corps. All Hallow's Eve I sat and pondered, In my room alone, and wondered How to pass the hours I had in store. While I nodded, nearly napping, Suddenly there came a tapping, As of someone gently rapping, Rapping at my chamber door. "All Right"5 I muttered, with closed eyes, It was the C.Q6. I surmised, That opened and then quickly shut the door. But when I finally looked to see, Something strange confronted me: A sight that set off multiple alarms: A giant bird7 in Dress Gray, Under Arms!8

*Maven: Hebrew “One who understands”, a trusted expert in a particular field, who seeks to pass knowledge on to others

1 As punishment for a rule infraction, required to stay in one’s room during normal free time for up to six months

2 An official form for reporting a rule infraction

3 As punishment for a rule infraction, a requirement to march to and fro in a quadrangle (The Area) for up to 88 hours during normally free time.

4 One “tour” equals one hour of Area Formation

5 “All Right” is an official statement that the respondent is in compliance with rules in effect at the time the report is given

6 Cadet in Charge of Quarters – a cadet responsible for inspecting rooms and determining that all cadets present are in compliance with appropriate rules

7 Cadets who march punishment tours are known as “Area Birds”

Its back was bent, its feet were flat, But o'er the visor of its hat It bore the sign of Pallas we all wore.9 I looked about to clear my head And finally sat upon my bed And tried to reason why he stood upon my floor. At last I spoke and caught its eye, And when I did I asked it why It came, and what it meant To me and to the Corps. With gimlet eye it stared at me And all at once, quite suddenly, It raised a feathered limb and held it high. "Take heart" quoth he, "let spirits fly, My brother bird, for what is nigh Will cheer the hearts of sons of slum and gravy!"10 "For what I see is very clear, Let all who wonder surely hear: This coming year we surely will BEAT NAVY!" "This message ain't a mystery, No matter what the history" And saying that, he turned and neared the door. "But hold!" said I, "don't go so fast, Let us make this moment last, Good bird, there's one more answer to be heard" "If you can see ahead in time, Please share more poop11 that you divine, And speak to one more question just for me: How long will I be on the Area with thee?" Quoth the Maven: "Evermore!"12

8 The uniform worn when marching punishment tours in an Area Formation carrying one’s rifle

9 The West Point emblem worn on the cadet cap includes an image of the helmet of Pallas Athena

10 West Point cadets

11 Poop: Essential information

12 As a cadet I spent over 300 hours in Area Formations