271.150 WRITING WORKSHOP 2

Overview and sample paragraphs for each section

Turning your notes into paragraphs

Evaluation of written excerpts

• This is a research-based report on a Communication Disorder, divided into six sections, together with a brief introduction and conclusion.

• Each of the main sections will typically consist of between one and four paragraphs of 4 – 6 sentences each. This will add up to something like 14 – 20 paragraphs in total (giving you your 2000 words).

• Because the report is research-based, there should be in-text citations in each paragraph to support the claims which are made there.

• The reference list at the end will typically consist of between 10 and 20 references – most of which are academic journal articles, books and book chapters – matching the in-text citations in the body of the report.

OVERVIEW

INTRODUCTION: EXAMPLE PARAGRAPH

Syndrome A is a neurodegenerative disorder which mainly affects middle-aged and elderly individuals. This critical review summarises evidence related to its range and frequency in the population and identifies causal factors and key impacts of the condition on an individual’s communication and functioning. A range of typical prognoses for individuals with Syndrome A are outlined, along with two SLT interventions which can be used to assist individuals to fulfil their communicative needs and to enhance their well-being.

EPIDEMIOLOGICAL INFORMATION

• Is there agreement in the literature regarding issues such as incidence, prevalence and age of onset?

• Are there relevant differences between genders, ethnicities, ages or any other social or cultural groupings?

• Where is your data from? Is it NZ-based? Is it universally applicable? If not, provide the given country.

EPIDEMIOLOGICAL INFORMATION: EXAMPLE EXTRACT

A number of sources cite a prevalence rate for Syndrome A of xx among North American children (Brown & Gill, 2003; Marley, 2007), but no prevalence data is available for New Zealand children (Broughton, 2011). The condition appears slightly more often in boys than in girls (a ratio of X:Y) (Smith, 2005). Another identifiable risk factor is family background: siblings of children with Syndrome A are three times more likely to develop Syndrome A than children without this family connection (Brown & Gill, 2003).

AETIOLOGY

• Is there agreement in the literature about the cause(s) of the disorder – e.g. genetic abnormalities, environmental factors, traumatic events etc?

• What is the relationship between the different causal factors – e.g. predisposition, co-occurrence, trigger etc?

• What are the neurological, physiological, anatomical features underlying the disorder?

• Consider a logical way of organising the different causal factors, so that it doesn’t end up as an undifferentiated ‘laundry list’ of factors.

AETIOLOGY: EXAMPLE EXTRACT

There is no known cause of Syndrome A. However, several studies have provided evidence of a hereditary genetic component in Syndrome A (Dean, 2002; Xiang, 2005; Plowright, 2009), which may predispose some individuals to develop the condition in a number of specific contexts . Hays (2006) categorises these contexts as birth-related (e.g. perinatal trauma), environmental (e.g poor diet) and illness-related (e.g. rubella). In addition, a number of studies have highlighted the co-occurrence of Syndrome A with Condition B (Anderson, 2008; Palmer, 2010), though it is unclear whether there is a common chromosomal abnormality underlying both conditions, or whether it is more logical to consider Syndrome A and Condition B as part of one single disorder, as recently argued by Warrender (2012).

COMMUNICATION PROFILE: SELECTED ISSUES

• As in other sections, organise your information into logical sub-sections. These will depend on the nature of the disorder you’ve chosen – for some conditions, there’ll be more to say about phonology; for others, the semantic area will predominate, while for others there will be more to say about use.

• Consider the degree of impairment in different domains of language and whether these affect receptive and expressive use of language differently.

• Also consider whether the impacts of the condition vary in the early, mid- and late stages – or in any other systematic way (for instance, according to age).

INTRODUCTION: EXAMPLE EXTRACT

Syntactic and morphological deficits are strong markers for Syndrome A. Syntactic development may be delayed for children with Syndrome A, resulting in reduced xx and shorter yy (Sleziwicki, 2004). One recent study found that seven year old children with Syndrome A were significantly less able to interpret xx than typically-developing children – and this impaired their ability to infer causation and sequencing in texts (Redwood, 2013). At a morphological level, children with Syndrome A have few problems recognising xx receptively, but frequently omit them in productive use, leading to a lack of precision in relation to xx and yy (Sleziwicki, 2004).

IMPACT ON THE PERSON’S FUNCTIONING: SELECTED ISSUES

• Which relevant activities (e.g. educational, professional, social) are affected?

• To what degree is participation in these activities affected?

IMPACT ON THE PERSON’S FUNCTIONING: EXAMPLE EXTRACT

Syndrome A has significant and long-lasting impacts on children’s xx and yy. Children with Syndrome A have difficulties with xx as a result of yy. Their reduced xx affects their performance in (and enjoyment of) yy (Pearson and Gomez, 2008), while their difficulties with zz affect the pace and clarity of their aa (Gomez, 2009). These difficulties become particularly marked as they enter secondary education as yy becomes increasingly critical to zz (Briggs, 2010).

PROGNOSIS: SELECTED ISSUES

• Is this a degenerative disease?

• What is the likelihood of the issue levelling out?

• How will this impact their future in terms of speech / language / communication?

PROGNOSIS: EXAMPLE EXTRACT

Syndrome A is a persistent disorder. Recent research has shown that over 60% of children diagnosed with Syndrome A between the ages of xx and yy continued to present with Syndrome A at the age of 18 (Dickens, Noone, & Forsell, 2011). One indication of the persistent effects of the condition is an English study which found that 76% of adolescents with Syndrome A had been issued with a formal statement of educational needs, entitling them to additional learning support; what is more, their performance on standardised assessments of reading and writing was approximately half the national average for all students (Atkinson, 2006).

SLT INTERVENTIONS: SELECTED ISSUES

• What general approaches to intervention are appropriate?

• What particular issues (e.g. domains of communication, aspects of functioning etc) are the focus of intervention?

• What strategies, activities, resources have been shown to be effective?

SLT INTERVENTIONS: EXAMPLE EXTRACT

SLT intervention for children with Syndrome A begins with an assessment of the child’s xx. This consists of ……. (Wilkins, 2009). Because of xx, most speech-language therapists now recommend a yy approach, which focuses on zz, rather than the more traditional dd approach (Rayburn, 2008). A yy approach incorporates ___ For instance, __. In a dd approach, on the other hand, the therapist would __ (Halbin, 2006). While this dd approach may successfully improve an individual’s __, its limited focus on __ means that __ (Alwyn, 2010).

CONCLUSION: EXAMPLE EXTRACT

Syndrome A is the most prevalent xx in young adults. The condition affects the individual’s …. and therefore impairs their participation in …. While there is no cure, a number of treatments and therapies are available which can alleviate the symptoms and allow an individual to xx. Speech-language interventions focus on bb and have been shown to be effective in cc.

Syndrome X affects comm. and can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression (Payne, 2008)

Syndrome X reduces vocal intensity – so affects use of phone, and comm. in noisy places. Also causes fear of meeting new people because of awkward moments – e.g. embarrassment or misunderstanding. This can affect prof., ed. and social ops. (Brown, Pointer & Sloan, 2009)

Indivs with Syndrome X esp. get depressed ‘cause lack of effective treatment (Rowles et al., 2010).

Comm is essential for functioning – comm disorders have social, econ & emotional effects (Reilly et al., 2009)

TURNING YOUR NOTES INTO PARAGRAPHS

As you research, organise your notes under the different sections of the report – e.g. impact on functioning

Comm is essential for functioning – comm disorders have social, econ & emotional effects (Reilly et al., 2009)

Syndrome X reduces vocal intensity – so affects use of phone, and comm. in noisy places. Also causes fear of meeting new people because of awkward moments – e.g. embarrassment or misunderstanding. This can affect prof., ed. and social ops. (Brown, Pointer & Sloan, 2009)

Syndrome X affects comm. and can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression (Payne, 2008)

Indivs with Syndrome X esp. get depressed ‘cause lack of effective treatment (Rowles et al., 2010).

TURNING YOUR NOTES INTO PARAGRAPHS

To prepare for writing, order them logically

Syndrome X has both direct and indirect effects on an individual’s functioning. It has a direct effect on oral communication in noisy environments or over the phone. This is because of the reduced vocal intensity associated with the condition. Its indirect effects are fear and anxiety arising from the difficulties of communicating in these circumstances. The impact is not limited to the social domain, but also affects an individual’s educational and social opportunities (Brown, Pointer & Sloan, 2009). These wide-ranging effects on an individual’s functioning are typical of most communication disorders, since effective oral communication is an essential life-skill (Reilly et al., 2009), particularly with the spread of mobile technologies and online meetings. Individuals with Syndrome X may feel stressed or excluded from full participation in oral communication, which can lead to depression (Payne, 2008), particularly as effective treatment options are limited (Rowles et al., 2010).

TURNING YOUR NOTES INTO PARAGRAPHS

Start paragraph with a general, topic sentence and then link together the other sentences so that they flow

Baylor et al. state that communication is essential for functioning and that communication disorders have social, economic and emotional effects. Brown, Pointer and Sloan (2009) point out that Syndrome X reduces vocal intensity and therefore affects the use of the phone, and communication in noisy places. They also explain that it causes fear of meeting new people because of awkward moments, leading to embarrassment or misunderstanding. They conclude that it can affect professional, educational and social opportunities. Payne (2008) mentions that Syndrome X affects communication and can lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. Finally, Rowles et al. (2010) state that individuals with Syndrome X can become depressed because of the lack of effective treatment .

TURNING YOUR NOTES INTO PARAGRAPHS

Avoid just turning your notes into disconnected ‘shopping-list’ sentences and constantly interrupting the flow of your writing by putting authors into your sentences

People with autism like to spend time by themselves, separate from other people. As a result they shy away from social interaction and do not participate in communal activities (Autism Online, n.d.). People with autism are not interested in taking part in spontaneous conversations and they are also not interested in engaging in spontaneous events with people in the same age group as them (Bond, 2012). It is also challenging for people with autism to take part in any sort of interaction with other people (Bond, 2012). They only look at parts of something when they are supposed to look at the whole thing in order to figure out how it functions and works. As a result, they do not know how it functions and works and because of this, they are also not able to understand its functioning and cannot participate in activities in which they are required to know how the object works (Bond, 2012). People with autism are not interested in sharing objects or personal space with other people, which makes it hard for them to participate in social activities which involve the sharing of objects or personal space (Bond, 2012).

How could this paragraphs be improved?

SLT WRITING TASK

The good news is that more than 75% of stroke victims are able to regain sufficient levels of cognitive and communicative skills, many of them return to work or resume studies again (Larby, P., Freeman, L., & Porter, B.D., 2000).

What’s wrong with example 1?

SLT WRITING TASK

The good news is that more than 75% of stroke victims are able to regain sufficient levels of cognitive and communicative skills, many of them return to work or resume studies again (Larby, P., Freeman, L., & Porter, B.D., 2000).

SLT WRITING TASK

More than 75% of people who have had strokes are able to regain sufficient levels of cognitive and communicative skills to return to work or resume studies (Larby, Freeman, & Porter, 2000).

Improved version

SLT WRITING TASK

Many sufferers of this condition find it hard to communicate or participate in social activities for quite a long period of time (Ryan and Shaw, 2010).

What’s wrong with example 2?

SLT WRITING TASK

Many sufferers of this condition find it hard to communicate or participate in social activities for quite a long period of time (Ryan and Shaw, 2010).

SLT WRITING TASK

Many people with condition X find it hard to communicate or participate in social activities for periods ranging from one to six months after onset (Ryan & Shaw, 2010).

Improved version

SLT WRITING TASK

Children with ASD generally find social situations harder than normal children, that is why “Pragmatic skills are a focus of SLT intervention” (Minnock, 2003, pg. 84).

What’s wrong with example 3?

SLT WRITING TASK

Children with ASD generally find social situations harder than normal children, that is why “Pragmatic skills are a focus of SLT intervention” (Minnock, 2003, pg. 84).

SLT WRITING TASK

Children with ASD generally find social situations harder than typically-developing children, which is why SLT interventions focus on helping them develop their pragmatic skills (Minnock, 2003

Improved version

SLT WRITING TASK

Also, “The presence of b-methyl-4-phenyl-7,2,4-tetrahydropyridoxide at levels higher than 100 parts per million has been associated with increased levels of xx in clinical trials” (Truss, Ward, Franks, Russell, Harby, Reynolds, & Anderson, 2008, p. 28).

What’s wrong with example 4?

SLT WRITING TASK

Also, “The presence of b-methyl-4-phenyl-7,2,4-tetrahydropyridoxide at levels higher than 100 parts per million has been associated with increased levels of xx in clinical trials” (Truss, Ward, Franks, Russell, Harby, Reynolds, & Anderson, 2008, p. 28).

SLT WRITING TASK

Recent research has found an association between incidence of Syndrome A and high levels of a neurotransmitter, b-methyl-4-phenyl-7,2,4-tetrahydropyridoxide (Truss et al., 2008).

Improved version

SLT WRITING TASK

There is no single cause of Syndrome A. Although genetic predisposition and environmental factors have been identified as attributing to their onset (Plaid et. al, 2004).

What’s wrong with example 5?

SLT WRITING TASK

There is no single cause of Syndrome A. Although genetic predisposition and environmental factors have been identified as attributing to their onset (Plaid et. al, 2004).

SLT WRITING TASK

No single cause has been identified for Syndrome A, although genetic predisposition and environmental factors have been associated with its onset (Plaid et al., 2004).

Improved version

SLT WRITING TASK

Autistic children either repeat words immediately after they hear it or repeat whole lines he or she heard before, known as delayed echolalia (Speech Disorders Assocation, 2003).

What’s wrong with example 6?

SLT WRITING TASK

Autistic children either repeat words immediately after they hear it or repeat whole lines he or she heard before, known as delayed echolalia (Speech Disorders Association, 2003).

SLT WRITING TASK

Children with autism may either repeat words immediately after they hear them or repeat whole lines they heard before (a phenomenon known as delayed echolalia) (Author of Peer-Reviewed Article, 2004 or later).

Improved version

© 2014

This PowerPoint Presentation and the accompanying handouts are copyrighted by Centre for Teaching and Learning,

Massey University and may not be used, except for personal study, without written permission from the copyright owner.

Please note that examples are provided for illustration of writing principles only and no reliance should be placed on

any of the ideas referred to in the texts.

Martin McMorrow, Centre for Teaching and Learning

09 441 8143 slt-alb@massey.ac.nz

This presentation can be viewed online at: http://tinyurl.com/2014sltworkshop2