Christian Encounter

April 2013

A Publication ofChristian Encounter Ministries

Tending Lives…Training Leaders…

Expressing the love of ChristExpressionswww.ChristianEncounter.org Phone: 530-268-0877

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Jesse James, the names given by his mother, had a very direct purpose. Jesse would be trained to steal. The goal: provide enough food for mother and son to survive each day. “I thought stealing was what made the world go ‘round. It was constant, because I never knew if I would get enough food. If I had food I could never eat it fast enough.” Jesse remembers that he was hungry most every day, and he remembers worse than that. Violence was everywhere, and the instinct toward flight or fight was always on high alert. There were very few stable moments, as his mom moved from house to house, room to room, car to car, street to street. Mom went wherever the drugs were. The stress level never relented. “Mom’s boyfriends were dangerous. One guy argued with my mom about why he should kill me. I watched and listened to the whole conversation while he was waving a gun at me.” Jesse was six.

A year later, Jesse’s mom was hospitalized after a car accident. She never came home. Her lifetime drug addiction was a key factor in her early demise. Jesse observed her drug use on many occasions and he knew “when she went away for awhile,” what the reason was.

When Mom was “away,” Jesse had short periods of safety at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, and when Mom died, he went to live with them. A believing family, they helped begin the transition for Jesse into normal childhood. He started eating, but found that he kept stealing food for quite a long time. Eventually, Jesse began to trust that he would have enough. Still, whenever the living situation changes, the urge to grab some food is powerful.

A young family with three adopted children, which was acquainted with his uncle, invited Jesse to join their family. His new mom and dad continued the rebuilding of trust in Jesse’s heart. Amazingly, he connected with his new family and bonded with his new parents in a way not possible before. His losses and grief

Christian Encounter Ministries is a non-profit, non-denominational, residential program helping 16- to 25-year-olds by providing love, spiritual guidance, high school education, counseling, and 24-hour supervision. Internships are offered to qualifying upper-level college students and graduates. CEM is a member of the Evangelical Council for Financial Accountibility and the Association of Christian Schools International. All gifts are tax deductible.

were monumental, of course, but the gaps in education and social and spiritual development were just as great. His parents also adopted his younger cousin, and Jesse became the oldest of five kids after nine years of being an only child. He was always competitive and found an outlet in the myriad of sports in which the family participated. Jesse belonged. Love was talked about and expressed and lived out every day. Jesus’ love lived in his new family. Healing began. Still, much turmoil continued in Jesse’s heart, and his parents recognized that other steps might be necessary for Jesse’s full restoration. His new family has a long line of connections with Christian Encounter Ministries, and when Jesse reached his junior year of high school, they decided the

next step in the healing process could be accomplished at CEM. So, last summer, CEM became part of Jesse’s family.

Telling this story is part of the healing. Jesse has a desire to be transparent, to be known and understood. “I believe in Jesus, I know he died on a cross for me, but with my life, it’s hard to believe I can be good enough to be a Christian. My life is pre�y bad.” That is honest struggling with faith, honest struggling with the enormity of grace and forgiveness God offers. Jesse knows that in some ways he is still stuck. He vividly relives traumatic moments from early childhood. Those memories usually catch him by surprise, but he has learned to keep the stress hidden from others. Thus, sharing his story is a way Jesse has chosen to use in taking another step toward healing, toward trust, toward faith.

In the next nine months, Jesse expects to graduate from CEM High School, then move into the Men’s Ministry House. In his vision of the future, he sees himself working with rescued animals or in a zoo se�ing with endangered species. It’s a picture he can put himself into—potential starvation, neglect, violence. Survival sometimes depends on intervention by those who love the lost. Sounds like the message of God’s grace is making more sense to Jesse every day. The Lord rescues the lost sheep not because they are good, but because God is good.

Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability

Association of Christian Schools International

Dates to remember

May 4, 9-4Spring Work Day

June 1, 2 p.m.All CEM Spring

Celebration

June 28-July 1Annual Family

Camp

July 26-2724-hour Agony

Bicycle Ride

We are saddened

at the death of Harriet Smith, long- time friend of CEM.

Harriet was a member of the Board of Directors from 1989-1994. Our

sincere sympathy, love, and prayers go to her husband, Bob, sons,

Rob and Stuart, and to all their

extended family.

Jesse belongs!by Mike Petrillo

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We just finished a viewing of Del Tacke�’s Truth Project developed by Focus on the Family. In his fifth episode, Dr. Tacke� explores what is true in regard to science. At the time the video series was made, discoveries in astronomy led scientists to estimate the number of stars (in over a billion galaxies) at 70 sextillion stars. Less certain is the time in which these stars were formed. If current thought is correct—and new information will certainly alter these findings—all these stars were forming in an active period lasting one billion years. I have no way of confirming this, nor do I care to, but some simple arithmetic points toward the scope and majesty of our God and creator. If there really was a one-billion-year span of star formation, the sheer scope of the project required that 133 million stars were formed each and every minute of that one billion consecutive years. 133 million per minute. Non stop. For a billion years.

Now if the formation happened faster or later or whenever, the numbers still are sha�ering to our li�le minds. The power of this

We need a great God!by Mike Petrillo

universe is in the hands of a vast and incredible God. Without the revelation of Jesus, as Savior and mediator between God and man, we could never imagine approaching a being as holy and immense as God must be. However, we need a big God. We need a God great enough to recover us from our horrible sin state. We need a God big enough to invent heaven, and with enough power to manage judgment, hell, and death. We need a great God. We need a God who loves people who are not lovely. We need grace and forgiveness in proportion to His greatness. We need a God whose character and nature far surpasses any human capability. We need mercy and goodness in a world filled with cruelty and darkness. We need God all through the day.

To bring it to the moment,

here and now, at Christian Encounter Ministries we need a God who is great and generous and kind, who supplies us each day with life’s necessities. We need a God who has ordained a plan of salvation and who is carrying it out on behalf of students who come to CEM. We depend on a great and wonderful God who has wisdom where we lack, who has insight where we are broken. In brief, we cannot succeed at anything without a God great enough to make 70,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 stars! This universe displays His love, and if He required a universe this big to represent that love, then I am pre�y sure we are not going to run out. Ever. Because this massive physical universe is just a shadow of what looms ahead; the eternal Kingdom of God is bigger, be�er, greater yet! “No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.” In other words, there are not enough zeroes to put at the end of the number. God’s love is that great.

We need it, Lord. Please open our hearts today.

“Oh, happy day!” Intern Daniel Boe�cher joyfully prepares to baptise Haywood.

YIKES! ONLY THREE MONTHS UNTIL

June 28-July 1

Theme: The Body of Christ: God’s FamilyTeen Workshop leader and Sunday speaker:

Warren Groves, Discipleship Pastor at Yuba City’s Church of Glad TidingsSaturday night concert: Wm. Jessup University senior Sophie Parro�

Boating, fishing, swimming, sand castles, tubing, gold panning, horseshoes, Untalent Night, campfires, archery, and all the good food you can eat!

All for $50.00 per family. That’s right, all for $50.00 per family!Register soon while cabins and tent sites are available!

(Prepayment with registration required.)

Silly skits demonstrate students’ creativity and humor at quar-terly “Fellowship Cafe” gatherings (similar to Family Camp’s Untalent Night).

Register online at www.christianencounter.org

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As Image Bearers, having been created in the Image of God, we bear on our faces the internalized images of every relationship we have been in. Of these, the most foundational is that of our parents—the structure of belonging which we call home.

When a child says, “I’m going home,” he describes the personal connection he carries within himself, referencing who he belongs to, not just the place and location of a house. We hear this very clearly in Jesus’ own words to His disciples, “I go to prepare a place for you.” The personal love connection, the first “we,” is implied—we are together and will always belong to one another. Mature love co-creates a solid, sure, secure place. God is with us and in us; we belong first of all to Him. When two (male and female) are bonded together in mature, unselfish, giving love, they are equipped to invite in a third (a child) to receive from the love they share. There is enough to go around. This shared love multiplies their joy. From childhood we are taught that God is love—an understandable concept if a child has experienced shared

The Imago Dei in parentingby Susan Hicks, CEM Marriage and Family Therapist

love. We often watch children

play with their dolls or toy animals. They project their ideas onto the toy, and imagine how the plaything feels about them. Sadly, some children grow up and still function this way with people. Helping children move from fantasy idealizations and devaluations of others takes work. It requires steadfast love as parents, the kind mentioned in Psalms over 120 times—never ending grace, favor, and mercy emphasizing how we are to love and

references one form of addiction or another. Since all addictions are a replacement for relationship, it’s time we re-embrace the true meaning and identify with the pre-fall “bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.”

In order to parent well there needs to be a well-put-together couple. Sadly, a decision to marry is often made too quickly, at too young an age, with unrealistic expectations—a decision made on romantic grounds alone. Often one (or both) of the couple has a poorly developed

and disagreements, normal to shared living, are not resolved. If religious values and beliefs are not shared, the foundational anchor for the couple and their children is compromised.

Some false beliefs:“Marriage will fix a lot

of my other emotional and mental problems.”

“The friendship of my mate will meet all of my friendship needs.”

“The love connection with my mate will make up for all that I did not receive from my family.”

Having not worked out their own unforgiveness issues with parents and siblings, emotionally immature persons look for a replacement family. In an immature marriage children may be tossed to and fro as intruders or replacements. The inability of a not-yet-mature couple to hold on to their union as primary sets up the child (even as adults) to be pulled to love one or the other more or less. The child, malnourished from lack of the parents’ love for one another, along with the parents, now creates a condition called enmeshment whereby the child becomes the

emotional surrogate spouse.This condition impedes

normal maturing development and gives the child (no ma�er the age) a flawed view of herself. She believes she is responsible for others’ relationships. In other words, she feels omnipotent, a “parentified” child. I’ve heard adult children of immature couples criticize and instruct the parents in how they should be with one another. They have grown up in competition rather than cooperation and have difficulties forming mature relationships themselves. I often say “Your parents’ marriage belongs solely to them; it is a gift from the hand and heart of God; the only one who has the right to be between them is God Himself.”

We are to give the gift of true and deep intimacy to our children appropriately by loving one another (craving) as He has loved (craved) us. Watch their countenances change and be uplifted as they witness the joy you share in being husband and wife first and foremost. Assist them in learning how to leave in maturity so they too can cleave well before becoming parents themselves. Your future grandchildren someday will be watching. God bless you, and the generations to come, in the expanse of mature love.

Jeremy admires his freshly-caught large-mouth bass from the pond just a few feet from the ranch living room.

Even big kids enjoy play.

Nerf wars are regular compe-titions for our young men.

“We are to give the gift of true and deep intimacy to our children appropriately by loving one another…as He has loved…us.”

develop into maturity (not whether we are to do so). Our children need assistance developing well in these areas.

God seeks us out in an intense desire to have intimacy with us. The inference of the Greek word in “seeking” is to “crave.” The holy ground for a child being born to mature parents is their craving one another as God craves us. In our modern culture the concept of craving usually

self image—too high or too low. There can be an idealization or devaluation of one another as well as a flawed view of the family system they emerged from. If they see their own family of origin as the standard of what their family should be, it creates an inability to leave before cleaving as commanded by God. When communication skills are inadequately developed, routine conflicts

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MemorialsMemorials are given not because someone died, but because someone lived and blessed our lives.

Given by:The Cu�er Family Trust

Earl and Arlene ClaussenJB and Judy Morrow

Don LouxTed and Marilyn OlenderTed and Marilyn OlenderTerrance and Ann BarleyTerrance and Ann Barley

Aileen PorterAnn Rathjen

Carolyn AinsworthMark and Cyndi Snyder

Harold StrunkBill and Kathy Janes

Ken and Barbara McDonaldJim and Marion Parker

Martin and Hadassah StrobelBarry and Sharon Penner

In Memory of:Frank Cu�er

Marie GunnawayMuriel Galeckas

Barbara LouxMickey TurnerCo�on Neufeld

Steve MonckArt AvritArt Avrit

Harriet SmithHarriet SmithHarriet SmithHarriet SmithHarriet SmithHarriet SmithHarriet SmithHarriet SmithHarriet Smith

Alumni NewsDebbie (Isom) Campbell (student, 1990, Women’s Ministry House leader and CEM staff secretary 2000-2009) recently received her Marriage and Family Therapist license from the state of California. She is employed by Sierra Mental Wellness Group in Auburn. Debbie and her husband, Chris, live in Grass Valley.

Katie (Layfield) Steele (student, 1999) is working towards a Marriage Family Therapist degree at Western Seminary in Sacramento. She lives in Folsom with hubby, Brandon, and their two daughters.

Julie Shapland (intern, 2006) has been awarded the Claudia Greathead Scholarship for her graduate studies at San Jose State University.

Stacy Yates, wife of Travis Yates (intern 1998) is selling most of their household belongings and is buying a converted school bus RV. While Travis is overseas with the Air Force, Stacy and the kids will be living a life of adventure, travel, and learning!

Dave Russo (Ranch Foreman, 1981-1983, current board member) is pu�ing together a family team to be at the 2013 Agony Bicycle Ride. He and son, Chris, have already signed up to ride!

Blessings1999 Nissan Quest van2005 Dodge Caravan van26 bales of alfalfa hay2 125-gallon pressure tanksPicture frames10’X10’ canopyNew KitchenAid 9-cup food processorRoundtrip flight ticket on Jet-Blue AirlinesDelicious, healthful foodToothpaste, shampoo, toiletriesFender acoustic guitarElectric guitar amplifier, stand, tunerPuzzles, pressure cooker, wastebasketsGood, used living room furniture; wall clock

NeedsOne or two calvesNon-kinking garden hosesCar or truck inner tubesCheese, peanut bu�er, tunaPower bars, trail mix, plastic silverwareNew commercial kitchen rangeVolleyballs (indoor, soft touch)

Unusual gourmet fruits and vegetables are often among the donated weekly produce. Justice is amazed at the four-inch mini pineapples!

Remember your first Ranch wilderness trip?

Was it in the winter or the summer? Did you love it or hate it? More importantly, what did you learn? Well, those trips are still happening! Students and interns participate in a 15-day trip in the summer and a 4-day trip in the winter. If you were on one of those trips, maybe you can still remember your backpack. Chances are it’s still being used! Patch upon patch, scouring eBay for replacement parts…it’s time for a change. We need new backpacks in order to continue! If you have fond memories of your trip or of other wilderness experiences in other places, please consider a gift towards this special project. Mark it “backpacks” and we’ll see that it gets used for this purpose!

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My Lifeby Andrew

I used to think my life would never changeHow I’d always be the guy nobody cared about

I would go around and try my hardestTo just be nice even at my own expense

I didn’t really notice all the scarsThat I would take home every dayI never chose to talk about the pain

So it all kept building up insideUntil one day I couldn’t take it anymore

And I let all the hurt consume me from within.

I hurt all of the people that I lovedBut above all I hurt myself

I turned away from my friends and family I stopped caring and started drinking

I wouldn’t turn to God for helpEven though I always knew He was there

Soon enough, He knocked on my head loud and clearAnd gave me nowhere that I could turn except to Him

So I packed my bags and left the life I knew behindTo follow Him and make a new life for myself.

Now here I am a year laterMade anew every day and waking up because of His grace

My life is not what it once was and my heart sings a new songI am learning each day how to best be like Jesus

And walk the path He has set before meSo now I lift up my voice and try to be a blessing to God

From now on all I want to do is give Him praiseSo Jesus, I ask you today to take my heart and help me follow you

And I ask you to give me new life each day to give you glorySo please accept my words and search my heart to see my love.

Now!By Andrew

I’m done, done living this way:Done le�ing this feeling build upDone le�ing it turn into angerDone trying so hard to not follow HimDone working to be happy for nothingDone le�ing Satan walk all over meDone waiting, only to be in painDone giving into all that sinDone walking straight into darknessDone feeling like I’m worthlessDone seeing that I’m no goodDone being here in this emptinessDone!

So now here comes the change:Now I’ll give it up to GodNow I’ll take all His grace and peaceNow I’ll give my life and heart to HimNow I’ll learn what it means to die and live for JesusNow I’ll let Jesus fight my ba�lesNow I’ll cry out for His loveNow I am purified by His bloodNow I’ll walk in the lightNow I am a conquerorNow I am pure and holyNow I am complete in Him and He will bless meNow!

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For the first time ever, 16 and 17 year-old cyclists are invited to ride!(with a parent in a�endance at the event as a rider or sagger)

Jerry CooperJohn Cox

Dan EdwardsPaul Farinha

Bill GreenSco� Harms

Suzanne Hartley

Courtney HeckerBeverly Kennedy

Tom KernPaul McClainSusie McClain

Patrick McKenzieMarion Parker

Paul Ra�laffChris RussoDave RussoDon Spi�ler

Rob ThorntonRuth WelchJason Wood

NONPROFIT ORG.U.S. POSTAGE

PAIDGRASS VALLEY, CA

PERMIT NO. 60

Christian Encounter MinistriesPO Box 1022Grass Valley, CA 95945

CHANGE SERVICE REQUESTED

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